FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Green Grove

Amber's Date: The Real Story Part 1

Amber had been through a lot in her scant twenty four years and, as far as she'd been concerned, she'd cried enough tears to last a lifetime. Ever since she'd let herself be humiliated in return for acceptance back into the ITBT foster program the Spitz had promised herself that the only tears she'd ever shed again were ones that she squeezed out in character: little puppy tears from a little puppy. On that day, however, she'd broken her promise to herself.

Staring in the small mirror while standing on the top of the step-stool in her dorm's shared bathroom, Amber gently inspected the developing welt on her cheek. Nymeria had hit her hard enough that there was a hint of blood in her fur but she had trouble telling whether the blood was from her cheek or from her attacker's paw. The pain, however, wasn't why she was crying. Amber was crying because she knew what was going to happen to Nymeria. The Spitz knew she could have turned down her CT's request but she believed him that she was being sent to help. While that may have been the case, Amber realized the end result was what she'd feared: Nymeria was in deep trouble.

Even as she considered herself and the smudge in her fur the tears continued. Her jaw quivered slightly but she was able to hold it together enough that she didn't really make any sound to accompany the tears aside from a shaky breath. Focusing on the physical pain helped and she climbed up onto the counter so she could pop open the mirrored panel and search through the medicine cabinet. Real puppies wouldn't have such easy access, but, then again, Amber was more than a decade older than the 'perfect little bundle of joy' she was meant to impersonate so the ability to get her paws on basic medical supplies wasn't a bad thing.

Even as she addressed her need for disinfectant, cotton, and some pain killers, Amber wondered where she'd find a suitable bandage for her heart. On one paw, she really didn't like the Sheltie who'd hit her; Nymeria was judgmental, flippant, and ignorant. On the other paw, the Sheltie wasn't that different from how Amber herself had been back when she'd decided to seek emancipation. Perhaps, she reasoned, that was why she wanted so badly to help and why she was so angry when Nymeria declined any sense of reason.

The Spitz remained in her own little 'dark place' emotionally as she focused on tending to her wound. She was so caught up in trying to be distracted that she almost didn't notice the sound of a knock at the dorm room door. She knew one of her dorm sisters would answer and she knew it to be the case when she heard Ruby's eager reply, followed by a giggle. "Come in!"

Amber had been a student for CT Lhoton for long enough to recognize the huge Dog's gait from a distance. He proved her assessment to be correct when she heard his voice. Rather than address Ruby in a tone that suggested a puppy-like response, he was to the point and direct. "Where's Amber?"

Ruby was just as direct, dropping any sense of the puppy act. "She's in the bathroom... she got back about fifteen minutes ago. Did the--?"

The Spaniel's inquiry ceased mid sentence, leaving Amber to realize that the CT must have silenced her with either a gesture or a look. Considering it was Lhoton she assumed it was probably both. She tracked the sound of him approaching the bathroom by his heavy foot fall. He stopped on the other side and she made out the hint of his voice as he said something to himself. A second later he knocked lightly. "Amber. It's me."

Her first inclination was to subtly indicate she wasn't interested in talking by responding in a puppy-like manner and refusing to 'get real' but, right when she was about to make her passive-aggressive play she shot down the idea and answered in as clear a tone as she could manage "I-- I'm not decent."

She surprised herself as she managed to speak relatively clearly despite her tears. Rather than wait patiently, her CT kept talking through the door. "Are you alright? The class instructor said you'd been bit."

The term 'bit' in Green Grove did not indicate an actual bite; the term was applied any time a correction student lashed out at a CT, Instructor, or Junior Teacher. She tried to respond but she got choked up as the thought returned: she'd sabotaged Nymeria. Her answer came out disjointed and incomplete. "I-- yes... she-- I--"

CT Lhoton knocked on the door again. "Open the door please, Amber."

His statement, while including 'please' was not really a request. Her earlier objection was semi-truth but tears were no reason to deny a CT entry into a room and so, still shaking, she went to the door and twisted the knob, letting it open. Before the Terrier could enter, she went back to the high counter and ascended the stepping stool so she could sit on the edge beside the sink. CT Lhoton entered as she dabbed a cotton ball up beneath the faucet and dampened it.

He paused, just inside the door, and closed it half way behind himself; CT Lhoton was nothing if not a stickler for guidelines and he always made it a point to never be alone privately with a student. The big Dog's tone remained formal but held the faintest hint of concern that, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't manage to mask; it was one of many traits his wards loved about him. "How bad is it?"

Although she realized he was inquiring after her injuries she was more preoccupied with Nymeria. "It's bad. She didn't want to listen and didn't accept any viewpoints aside from her own. I don't know how that Vulp was getting her to act the part without giving up on her own misconceptions but--"

He took a step closer and his big paw loomed in, deftly taking the cotton ball from between her fingers. "I don't mean Nymeria. I've already gone over the report on her."

With no more professional disassociation to hide behind, Amber sat quietly on the counter, looking down at the floor while the CT began to gently and gingerly brush the damp cotton through the fur on his cheek. Most of the time Lhoton was an imposing, lumbering giant of a Dog but he had a certain innate parental instinct that threw all of that out the window when someone he was caring for was out of sorts. He was a good guy. Amber had a weak spot for good guys and they caused nothing but trouble for her. Lhoton, in many ways, was an exception.

He took the little step ladder away from the counter and sat down on it so he could tend to her better. The big Dog's usual sour visage and cranky eyes dissolved into a carefully appraising expression of concentration and concentration. Once he'd brushed the cotton ball across her cheek several times he set it on the counter and cradled her muzzle in his palm, brushing his thumb across her injured area. Although his accompanying question was completely professional, some part of Amber knew that he was just good at hiding his concern... but not enough since she caught the slight shift back of both of his ears. "How much does it hurt?"

Amber made a calculated guess. "Not as much as a Gold Star."

Lhoton's ears rose, and he made a poor attempt at hiding his surprise, proving that she'd guessed Nymeria's punishment perfectly. "Oh? And... why THAT comparison?"

The Spitz pulled back and sighed. "That's what she got, wasn't it? I bet the did it in front of everyone, didn't they?"

The Terrier's sense of professionalism won out, just as she expected it would and he changed the subject; Lhoton never publicized anyone's punishment any more than was required of him. "I am more concerned about you. Nymeria Scotch's file isn't in my paws and yours is."

She pointed out an error in his statement. "You had me talk with her."

The CT let out a faint growl but she realized it wasn't directed at her; his was a statement of frustration. "That Fox is more interested in his own advancement than in teaching her how to succeed in life."

Lhoton's concern over everyone and everything, despite how hard he tried to hide it, was one of many traits of his that she greatly admired. Finally able to focus on something other than her own failure, Amber reached out to rest a paw on his. "You can't help everyone. You're just making things harder on yourself than they need to be."

His expression flowed through several different variations before he managed to return it to stoic professionalism. "Repeat it in character."

It was his go-to order whenever one of his wards was making a good point. While he often argued that his reasoning behind it was to make sure his students didn't look at life in too complex a way, Amber liked to think that it was just his bull-headed way of saying 'Thank you' and responding in the manner he requested was her way of saying 'welcome'. "My momma says that Dogs are a lot happier when they spend more time thinking about what they have and less about what other Dogs have."

Lhoton let out a sigh, rolling his eyes as he dabbed another cotton ball with some antiseptic. "You are too good at that, Amber."

Most of the CT's other students usually had to give up on adult conversations whenever he made his demand of them to speak to him in character but, as his longest-in-tenure, she'd well-since learned how to beat him at the game. It was something of a ritual of hers and she hoped that he enjoyed being defeated as much as she enjoyed winning. Then again, she reasoned, if he didn't he probably would have changed his tactic long ago. The thought actually brought the faintest wag to her tail-- right up until he touched her with the antiseptic soaked cotton. "Ow! That stings!"

He gave a snort of indifference. "Of course it does. It's antiseptic."

Resolving to get back at her trainer, she cracked a wry grin. "Okay... now repeat it in character."

* * * * *

Lhoton stayed with the bouquet for nearly an hour which, based on Amber's estimate, put him about a half hour past the end of his shift. Green Grove, she knew, did not pay for unapproved overtime so, once again, the chances were good that the Terrier was wiling away his free time looking after those who were far more self-sufficient than those in charge probably wanted them to be. The main difference, of course, was that Lhoton was there because he was worried, not because it was expected.

The Spitz damned herself for being so transparent as to let him see that her interaction with Nymeria had gotten to her. Fortunately, however, he didn't really understand why. They'd stayed in the bathroom just long enough for him to tend to her face and then the two of them had joined the other three Toy Dogs in the central living room. From there, Lhoton was forced to divide his attention among all four Toy Dogs, which was all the better for Amber. She didn't need him understanding all the reasons she felt so horrible; she didn't need him knowing that she'd lied to Nymeria about-- well... about a lot.

Ruby, Caramel, and Princess were, like Amber, infatuated in a completely harmless way with their CT. Lhoton was one of the rare staff at Green Grove that really treated them with anything resembling respect. Oh, the four of them had conspired in hushed tones about all the things they'd do with him if he ever accepted their advances but that was because they all knew they never would make a move; Lhoton was off-limits for all of them because of all of them and because of who and what he was. Lhoton was their idol-- their image of the perfect guy. For lack of better term, the Terrier was their 'daddy figure'.

Although none of them would ever plan on making a move they were all perfectly willing to daydream and that meant whenever the opportunity arose for some of his time they jumped on it like starving hunting cats. Princess was the eldest of the bouquet but, despite that, she was also the smallest and looked the youngest; Toy Poodles were like that. As such, her family had requested that her persona be that of a six year old. That also meant she had the benefit of being allowed to climb up into Lhoton's lap-- a fact that she would assuredly rub their muzzles in later.

Caramel was the youngest of the four and, as a late-teen, she was also the most reserved in her school-pup crush of the big Dog. Whenever Lhoton came to visit she spent most of her time not actually having to act like a shy little ten year old; she played the part naturally. Amber, on the other hand, was just a year younger than Ruby, the Bouquet's Cavalier Spaniel and the two of them collectively made up the 'middle child' of the dorm in actual age and the roles they were to play with their families; both were was supposed to be 12-ish.

As the most mature of the bunch, and because she'd had at least 20 minutes of uninterrupted solo-Lhoton time, Amber was kind enough to let the other three monopolize his time. That, of course, and it kept his attention off of her so she could brood silently. Lhoton had asked her to tell Nymeria the true story of her first date but, the Spitz had to remind herself, there were three versions to that story and two of them weren't the honest truth, just different facets of a lie.

According to the ITBT, the official word (and biggest lie) was that Amber wasn't able to cut it as an adult. She had been accosted on more than one occasion by a full sized Dog who wanted something that she hadn't and the deviant had tried to take it by force. If not for the timely intervention of a good samaritan, she could have become another statistic. When Lhoton had told Amber to tell the truth, what he meant was that he wanted the Sheltie to hear the lie that Amber herself had told everyone was the truth which, if she was completely honest, wasn't.

In Amber's fabrication a Red Setter named Sark had destroyed her self confidence by being so friendly and acting like her friend but when the subject of 'adult relations' came up and she explained that she had no interest he had disappeared from her life forever. There were elements of truth in that, but it was easily 80% lie and left out so very much. Fortunately, even as she'd fabricated the non-truth she'd also taken great pains to deftly conceal the name of the real Dog who had meant something to her.

Those thoughts and more had rolled through her mind as Lhoton finished his visit and gave attention to all of his students. When his time with them finally came to a close he bid them a good evening and told them all to get some sleep. As with most of his visits, the final departure was delayed slightly by Caramel, who, as usual, had her regular question which seemed to be as much reflex as anything else. "CT Lhoton?"

It had been asked often enough that the Terrier already anticipated the question. "You want to know about your sister?"

The Pekingese nodded her head, looking down at the floor. "It's been a real long time, and... and I was hoping--"

In one of his rare expressions of true emotion, the Terrier actually smiled and Amber could practically hear the collective gasp of joy from the rest of her Bouquet; she could certainly hear her own. There was something almost stunning about seeing the eternally-gruff Dog have a moment of positivity. He rested his non-gloved paw on Caramel's shoulder. "Mr. Levrier indicated that she is on the intake list for next month."

Normally subdued and reserved, the Pekingese almost jumped up and clung to his leg as she let out a squeal. "Oh! Thank you CT Lhoton! Thank you thank you thank you!"

He quickly and clumsily extracted himself from the embrace. "She still has to pass intake, Caramel. You don't have anything to thank me for. Besides, we already discussed why it just makes sense for me to accept her into my training pool."

Lhoton's objection that he hadn't done anything and that it 'just made sense' was complete and total misdirection and Amber knew it; she figured the rest of her Bouquet did too. Lhoton, despite his gruff exterior, was a big softie when it came to Toy Dogs-- at least, the ones who behaved. Most Toy Dogs didn't realize how great a guy he was because all they ever encountered was the professional CT and they didn't get past to the oh-so-amazing-'daddy' beneath. Even as he disengaged and gave Caramel a final pat on the head Amber found herself watching him go with just an unreasonable twinge of longing.

He was, in truth, just another example of what a Toy Dog couldn't have: one of the good ones. Amber had learned long ago that the kind of full sized Dogs who would treat a Toy Dog with that kind of care, grace, and devotion were the ones who only saw them as puppies. Most full sized Dog who could consider having an intimate, romantic encounter with a Toy Dog either had very specific tastes in partners (making it hard to carry on a long term relationship as equals), or else just wanted to try the 'flavor of the month'. She'd learned that the hard way, or, at least, she played a part in making it that difficult.

She paused, taking a breath as the rest of her Bouquet got back to their varied before-bed activities. Amber offered everyone a quick good night and retreated; she was still angry with herself on a number of levels. When she was at her worst, the Spitz often thought back to her boyfriend of some weeks. She had been living the life. She had been an emancipated Toy Dog. She had been an adult and she had tried so hard to make that adult relationship work. It had... sort of. Why then, she often asked herself, had it resulted in her running back to the ITBT? As with all other times, she was left with no answer.

Sitting on the edge of her bed, Amber looked up at the mirror attached to her small make up bureau and stared at her reflection. A few years prior, the Spitz would have obsessed over all the features that made her look like an adult but, at that moment, all she could see where the aspects of her appearance that made her look like a puppy. On one paw it was disheartening but, on the other, thanks to her short term boyfriend, she'd learned that there were far more benefits to that than she'd ever thought possible.

The Setter's name was actually Pellwaine or, as he had her call him, Pell. He was also the first full sized Dog outside of her parents who treated her with an encouraging rather than a condemning tone. Amber's adopted parents, from the very beginning had been completely against the idea of her becoming emancipated. When she refused to give up on the idea they begrudgingly purchased the necessary study material but declined to offer her any assistance; if she was going to prove that she could be on her own, her mother said, then she would prepare for it alone as well.

Her mother and father made it a point to constantly point out to her that she should have been happy as part of their family; if she were going out on her own then she would be at the mercy of the world, and the world had none. Amber saw them as the merciless ones. Despite doing the necessary minimum she also thought of them as being over bearing and controlling as she kept trying to find her autonomy; they never gave up on reminding her that she was making a very big mistake. Once she had succeeded in passing the necessary tests, however, they shifted gears just as fast as she had.

They had helped her get an apartment that was still reasonably close to 'home' and also to physically move into it while leaving her room she was moving out of just the way she left it (in case she were to come back... which, she suspected, they were convinced she would). They fancied themselves good parents and reinforced that thought verbally, often getting her to agree with them with mostly subtle but sometimes outright cues. She was proud of having earned her status in society and her adopted parents should have been proud of her by extension. They had promised that she would not get any special funding from them-- no allowance, so she'd need to make her own way.

She had to find a job, and it was not easy. Nobody took her serious and, without prior job experience she was limited in her options. Fast food, which was a go-to for most teens seemed to be closed to her as none of the managers wanted a 'puppy' working for them. Her size prevented her from doing any kind of real labor, so that left retail. In the end, the only retail store that would accept her was the exact kind of place she didn't want to work: a stuffed animal store.

It was at that job, as she'd implied in her half-truth story, that she met Pellwaine. Pellwaine (or just plain old Pell) was a Red Setter that she found easy to talk with, treated her with an exceeding politeness, and had the unusual feature of having a russet-to-burned-black head of hair that was mostly straight compared to the curls and near-ringlets of his bright copper coat. With how often he'd shown up at the store she first assumed him to be a dedicated and generous father to some child. She'd become his preferred helper at the store and her coworkers had even taken to calling her his professional shopper.

At first she thought it was chiding in good fun but it didn't take long for her to find out what they REALLY thought about Pell. Every last one of her coworkers (and her manager) were convinced that Pell was a creepy male customer who was 'interested' in her 'in that way'. Although nobody was about to step up and tell him not to return to the store, Amber got an earful every time he left. She was supposed to agree with them, that much she knew, but there was still a part of her that rebelled; he was nice, and he listened to her, and sought her out. He saw her as a professional... didn't he?

Over the course of numerous visits he'd sought her opinion on his purchases, even going so far as to ask her which her favorite plushy series was. He'd come into the store like clockwork every time since, picking up the next in the series on each occasion. That changed, however, when, upon a routine Friday visit to get the next plushie he let slip that he was childless, spouseless, and without siblings, roommates or even nearby cousins. It was then that she first really noticed the look she saw cast down in her direction and she felt something in her stomach crawl.

She was a pedigree sheltie. Her birth was planned by a barren couple who paid huge sums to the ITBT Association and the breeder to have her 'produced' and delivered to them. Amber, despite having been almost 19 when she was emancipated had been raised as a surrogate child her entire life, and had never planned on being looked at 'like that'. Yet, there in the store, accompanied by the customer her coworkers had identified specifically as 'hers', she had finally identified it.

She had a biological idea of what sexuality was from her education. Outside of that narrow venue sex was a topic religiously avoided or used to reinforce the doctrine of her needing to be fearful of anyone that would ever want anything to do with her in that way. Pell was the first time anyone had looked like that-- or, at least, the first time she'd seen. When she finally really noticed it, all she could thinking about was getting away from the feeling of that interest. If he saw her as so pup-like and was interested in her, what exactly did that say about him?

The real story of her association with Pell differed dramatically at that point from the one she'd told everyone involving Sark to protect Pellwaine from attention he didn't deserve-- or maybe attention he DID deserve, but, she rationalized, that wasn't for her to decide, and so she'd fabricated the fake story to cover up the reality of the situation and gave her 'love interest' the name of a Collie pup she'd had in her third grade class back at preparatory school many years prior.

They had met up at her work and he had asked her to join him for dinner at the foot court. She'd accepted the invitation under circumstances that had been nearly identical to those in her half-lie. Unlike her story, the question of his interest in her as a squeak-toy never came up; she'd kept things polite and he'd done the same. They discussed all sorts of topics, all of them very mundane and all especially safe. He'd done wonders with demeanor and discussion to keep her calm and invested; looking back she realized that, and he'd done so admirably. Ultimately though, when the time came for them to part, he asked her if they could meet again and, despite her reservations, she'd said yes.

She didn't see him again for another few weeks until the next plushie in the series came out but then, like clockwork, he showed up again. Being none-the-wiser about their association, Amber's coworkers tried to block him, encouraging him (politely) to leave, and suggesting that perhaps she'd already left. In the end, however, she slid around the roadblock they'd been making and she joined them (against their advice).

They'd had two or three more meetings like that until he asked her out beyond the realm of safety that was the mall. By that point she was so much more comfortable around him and, with barely any reservation she had said okay. Oh, things would have been so much simpler if he'd turned into a jerk or tried to make some kind of inappropriate move, but he did no such thing; through it all Pell remained a perfect gentlemen-- if anything, too perfect. That, she convinced herself, was why she ended up taking things in the direction she did.

After all the years of the big Dog size of the world making her uneasy, Amber found it strangely exhilarating to take him by surprise and to make him a little uncomfortable. During their dinner, she noticed that Pell kept looking around as if looking for judgmental stares. Once they were done she followed along after him trying to resume small talk that he'd had previously abandoned once they were not at the 'safety' of their table. He seemed distracted for the entirety of their walk to a coffee place down the block that he seemed to recover. She had waited in line behind him and he paid for her sugary coffee, handing it to her from the height of the counter.

At that point, once they were seated down again, he seemed to recover and that helped her recover too-- she still couldn't help notice the faint lilt to his ears and the redness that showed wherever his flesh did through his fur. Before the night was up and they parted ways he actually asked if he could see her again. Instead of meeting at her work again, however, she 'let' him talk her into making her dinner at his house by suggesting it herself. If she was honest to herself, however, she wondered perhaps if she hadn't pushed him into the idea just so he would have to ask her. There was something empowering about being given a choice and Amber credited that to her saying 'yes'.

Although she'd expected another two weeks to pass, she was surprised when he invited her to meet him the following Friday; he had weekends off, which meant that he'd free for as long as she was. The prospect both excited and frightened her but that, in and of itself was the perfect reason for her to say yes, which she did. Pell provided her with his address which, surprisingly, wasn't very far from her apartment! She measured it out in her head and came to the conclusion that she would do the safe thing and not share her address with him; she could make the trip without trouble, or maybe just take a cab.

As it turned out the two lived close enough to one another that it was within walking distance, not much further than the upscale gated community her parents lived at that she sometimes would elect to visit on foot even despite how nervous that made her parents. They constantly made it a point to remind her to be careful and she had constantly looked for opportunities to demonstrate she was capable of taking care of herself. She made that trip again the following Thursday so she could share the good news. Rather than mentioning anything about visiting her date at his home she kept in general since, in truth, they hadn't heard anything about the first several times she'd gone out with him.

They had, of course flipped out when she had told them she was going on a date. Although she promised to check back with them the following afternoon her father just frowned disapprovingly while her Mother pointed out that a lot could happen in twenty hours. That quick-decision-ed response on both their parts, she decided, had been what had given her the drive and will to actually stick to the plan. After that, she had her mind made up and the following evening she walked the several blocks toward the unknown. Stepping up to the door, she knocked and, after that: well... Pellwaine.