FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

For a moment it seemed as though Swiftsure would defy one of the two Princesses of Equestria. Her jaw was set and her position was that of a warrior who has entrenched themselves, dug in to resist assault. The two mares' gazes met and held for many moments until, at last, Swiftsure ceded to her co-ruler.

"Your Majesty," she said, her respect limned with defiance. "It was my desire to impress upon the stranger the dangers inherent in the dreamweave."

Luna turned her head slightly to consider the guard carefully. "Your intent is not so much under question as your manner."

"Ma'am." The tone was still defiant, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. Passive disobedience made pony.

Another silence fell, broken only by the crackling of the fire in the makeshift hearth and the occasional sigh of the wind. Luna's voice eventually said, "You lost several from your byre, didn't you, Swiftsure."

"Ma'am." The same single syllable, but instead of merely defiance, grief and loss as yet unfinished business, the memories still bringing fresh unhappiness.

Luna nodded. "You may stand relieved, Captain."

"Ma'am!" This time, the word an expostulation, an exhortation. "Ma'am, I --"

"You are *relieved*, Captain. No rebuke will be entered on your record. You may stand down from this duty. And, Swiftsure," Luna turned away from me to address the roan as she levitated the remainder of her gear into place, "while you have memories... we *all* do, who lived through those times, or who have lost those from our byres to them. Memories and pain run deep, but we should try to be courteous to our guests nonetheless. Even if they are dragons."

Swiftsure did not reply. Softly and without fuss, she was simply gone. Brighteye looked across at Feverfew, who was trying very hard to make himself appear as though he was not there, and then turned his attention back to Luna. Upon seeing his troubled expression the black-coated mare walked over and touched her nose to his cheek, and then to his shoulder. They must have been speaking very softly or using some kind of telepathic or empathic connection: they were still for a few moments and then a tremor shook Brighteye's body as he relaxed. Luna moved back half a pace, reviewed her charge and nodded.

"Your presence here opens many wounds, Seth." Luna's voice came while her back was still to me. She turned and walked now over to Feverfew.

"I can see that, Princess Luna. I am sorry. It was not ---" I cannot say 'intention', as it was not my intention to come here; I simply *did*.

"I know." Luna nosed Feverfew's neck and shoulder, became motionless with him for a few seconds, and then her tail flicked. "Intentions are not the problem, now: now, we must deal with the consequences.

"It's not unfair to say," Luna continued, now stepping back from the physician and towards my front, "that your presence here has opened up much debate. While there is one of our number, at least, who has found considerable... *happiness* with a member of your kind, memories are long, and some hurts run deep."

I nod. I consider offering to help, but I'm not sure what I could do. Equally, just saying that I should leave is churlish and rude, even though it may be the best solution. Finally: "What would you have me do?"

Luna's head tosses in an equine shrug. "Be yourself. Do what you would do, in any other circumstance. Go and find the dragon whose image brought you here --- or don't. Go, and return, or go and remain. Be yourself. It is all any of us can do."

"Even Swiftsure." Brighteye's tone is tentative.

Yet Luna nods. "Even Swiftsure."

"Princess Luna... I am not offended by Swiftsure's actions. I understand why you relieved her of her duty; yet I wasn't offended by what she said."

"I am grateful for that, Seth. But while we have our share of problems here in Equestria --" From her mind I catch a wisp of something, a major storm brewing, utter outrage, unpleasantness far away "-- we try to find a way to be kind to all those who come to us in innocence, and not judging them for things from the past that they had no part in."

"Old sins cast long shadows," I say, quoting an aphorism from my own home. It comes to mind unbidden, and I find that there is a sudden lump in my throat. 'Home': a place of beauty, joy, love, warmth, familiarity... My own memories come flooding in for the first time in my time here, remembering my mates, my lovers, hunting with my clan, soaring through skies rich with familiar air, nestling down in furs through the long winter cold, playing games, singing and reading, telling stories --- all these rush upon me and breach my defences. There is a heavy weight in my heart, my throat is constricted, and my muzzle is wet with sudden tears.

Luna comes over, and touches her nose to my neck. At some silent signal, the sweet cremello stallion has lifted to his hooves and is walking over as well, and a moment later his snout touches mine. For the first time I catch his scent: it is quite beautiful. In his eyes, in Luna's eyes, there is only kindness and no shaming. I let the tears come as they may.

"Show us, Seth," whispers Luna. "Open your mind. Remember."

From somewhere I sense a trembling tingle, like a sleepless night, surreptitiously stroking the rear of my consciousness. Then there is a second, and this one has a different feeling, other harmonics shaping its mental sound. A third, now, and this must be Feverfew: diffidence, curiosity, kind-heartedness resonate along the thread of this mind. Together their touch drapes over my conscious and unconscious mind, seeking, searching, opening the veil of my thoughts. A burst of fear as I realise the dreamweave is forming is soothed away to a wisp of nothing by the sheer goodness of the princess and her two stallion attendants. Then, in my mind's eye, opening as though through a crack in reality which spreads wider and wider, a book pulling itself open...

I am flying, and they fly with me. Through clouds familiar and cool against my scales and my mane. Old scents fill the air, and I bank joyously into them, pull in a wing, drop, sideslip and dance. My senses detect a thermal and I ride it up without thinking to rise above the clouds, and there, out in front of me, is the familiar sea, the city on its bay, the mountains beyond and the steppes of blue grass that wave in the winds. The tall trees, tall, tall trees, in the foothills of the mountains and beyond the rivers, and there, somewhere, somewhere... calling me, calling me down towards the land, the soul of my mate.

‾... my mate?...‾

‾... I have no mate...‾

Silently the weave rips apart. I am coughed back out through the rent into reality, egg-raw and weak and confused. Luna is shaking her head and Feverfew and Brighteye have theirs lowered, eyes closed, as though in discomfort.

"Seth... why did you... What happened?..."

I don't have any words. Only memories. Besides, I don't know what happened, any more than why I'm here. It just *did*. In response to my protracted silence, Feverfew eventually withdraws. Brighteye gives me another nuzzle, along the bridge of my snout, and returns to his post by the fire. I notice there is another pony there, casqued and booted: this one is a grey with intensely green eyes.

Luna noses my neck. "Should I stay," she asks, "or would you like to be alone?"

"Yes." It's the only honest answer. I want to be alone, but that's how I've been for a long time. It doesn't make it the right answer. It could just be that I've become so accustomed to anything else, I can't imagine it. That said, Luna's touch, the scent of her, too, are comforting. So I add, "Please... stay a little bit?"

"All right." She smiles, nuzzles my neck, and settles down. Her head rests against my shoulder.

"... though... you've heard I'm not a quiet sleeper, I expect."

Princess Luna's laugh is entirely like her sibling's and also entirely different. "That is the rumour. But I think I will be able to cope."