FurLibs 2017 - The Grand Furry Pastime by Ianus (and panel attendees)
Results from Anthrocon's FurLibs Panel 2017: The Grand Furry Pastime.
This is one of the results from the gang at FurLibs in Anthrocon back in 2017. As with other mad story games, attendees suggested words to fill in the blanks having NO IDEA where in the story it would go. This silliness is the result of that.
The Grand Furry Pastime
Ah, baseball! A tradition as American as _roadkill__, _drawing___, and _onion paste___. From young ___chinchilla__ playing stickball in the park to big star athletes like the famous __plain old regular cat__ player __Martha___ __Jones___, who braved the adversity of lacking any __toe-beans__ and led the _Pittsburgh __Mothmans____ to victory with his patented _effervescent__ slider, baseball is America's true pastime.
The first games were informal affairs with homemade equipment such as using __silk_ to make a ball and honing __meringue___ into something resembling a bat. In those days you could be called out for __slurping__ against the __tire iron__ or if another player managed to __explode___ your _belly button___ with the _grandmother__. As clubs began to gather to play the game with each other, rules had to be standardized, giving us the well-known three _murders___ and you're out and switching ___mushrooms___ after three outs. Then as the game grew, new rules had to be introduced to keep the game fresh, interesting, and __sleazy__. Though many traditionalists say this ruins the game, such as with the controversial __sassy___ ___pitcher___ rule, which is hotly debated even to this day.
Of course, as we enjoy this pastime, we still must admit its checkered past. For a long time, ___turtles__ were forbidden to play and had to form their own leagues, just because of the _taste_ of their ___sassafras__. During the war, people were fine to have teams made up entirely of ___lies___, but as soon as the boys came home, they were told to get back to the __underworld____ and focus on __bald spot__ once again. The sport has also been rocked by scandals such as players that avoid being tagged out by __catapulting___ their __triangles__, or players that would throw a game because they had been ___bouncing__ in the hopes of making more _spoons__. Even with these blemishes though, the game still remains an American _Taco Bell's 7-layer burrito___ for all species.
So what will be the _tuba__ of baseball? In the last several years, other sports have surpassed it in making ___"Jeremy"___. With the popularity of ___spelunking__, __BMX___, and __making children cry___, some say that the baseball is on the way out.
Still, no matter what happens, baseball has endured and will continue to _desecrate__ in the hearts and minds of Americans young and ___fluffy___. It is truly the great American furry __Germany____.