FSE

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formerly SoFurry search engine

Childish Antics

By CalexTheNeko

Deb had chosen to do the worst possible thing anyone could ever do in the neighborhood she had chosen to visit. She was simply minding her own business. The squirrel found herself being somewhat antsy these days and going for long walks often helped her calm down. She had dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a sweater then headed out the door. Each day she always took a different route, trying to see different things. Today she had ended up in a mostly suburban area. The area itself looked normal. The people within the area well... Not as much. Of course it wasn't as if that would be readily noticeable at first.

She had no idea of the area she had stumbled into. It was a place you only found two types of people: Those engaging in shenanigans, and those falling victim to said shenanigans. Often there was overlap between the two. The point was that this was not the type of place one should ever be minding their own business.

Still... As Deb looked around there were clues that something was up. There were a few things that were quaint about the little suburban community. Chiefly, it was a clothing thing. Deb lived in a place where everyone came to work fully dressed. Even though she currently had none, she at least wore shoes when she went to work. Animals just wore clothes, that was how it was. Yet... Looking around here she couldn't help but notice that the rules were slightly different. Some animals were dressed normally like her. Others were in various states of half dressed... There were some that simply wore shirts or pants, others that wore only an open coat or vest, and several people who were running around in their birthday suit. With some of the other strange things Deb had encountered in her life she was able to avoid reacting to this... But that didn't change her from thinking about the fact that suburbanites were weird.

"Hey you!" Deb was roused from her thoughts by a fox that was approaching her. Or maybe it was a coyote. It kind of looked like halfway between it. Either way he was naked except for a green cloak he wore around his chest. He was also almost half her size. From his size she guessed the fox or coyote or foxyote or whatever was probably just a kid.

"I'm sorry?" Deb asked. "Were you talking to me?"

"Sure!" The foxyote smiled. "Don't see anyone else around right? Look I need help with a dragon issue! Come on follow me!"

"A dragon you say?" She almost laughed. "Kids and their imaginations."

"Kids?" the foxyote paused at that. He then smiled. "Okay I can work with that! But alright let's go it's this way!" As he spoke the foxyote took on a more hyperactive body language. He began to walk with exaggerated movements and bounced up and down. In truth the foxyote was likely older than Deb... But if she mistook him for a child due to his size he saw no reason not to play it up for a little fun.

"Wait what do you mean work with that?" Deb asked as she placed her hands on her hips and stared down at the 'young' foxyote.

"Nothing nothing!" Kickaha's grinned widened. "But you see! I am on a mission... Of the utmost urgency! And I need a hero of the greatest caliber to help stop the dragon menace that has invaded this kingdom! And you our fair knight Lady... Um... What's your name?"

"Just call me Deb." Deb sighed.

"Lady Deb!" Kickaha continued. "I am the great wizard Kickaha Ota! The tales of your heroics are legendary! And so I come to you in our hour of need so that the entire kingdom might be saved!"

"O... kay..." Deb nodded slowly. Clearly the 'child' had a very active imagination. Still she supposed that she had nothing to lose to entertain him just for a little bit. When she spoke again she adopted that tone that many adults use with children. It's the tone of voice they use when they're trying to play along but can't quite lose that condescending edge that implies they think the entire thing is silly. "Lead on mighty wizard!"

"Very well then!" Kickaha said and turned around. "I believe it was... This way!" He grabbed Deb by the edge of her sweater and began to drag her down the street. After several minutes he paused and dragged her down a separate street. He got halfway down that street before he reversed directions and took her down the opposite street.

"Do you know where you're coming?" Deb asked him.

"Give me a moment." Kickaha responded sharply. "I mean you can't just expect a dragon to stay in one place all day! She should be somewhere around here... Maybe closer to the grocery store?" He changed directions again.

The two rounded a corner near the store when Kickaha suddenly became fully alert. He pushed Deb around the corner of a building before poking his head from around it. Deb also poked her head out to see what Kickaha was looking at.

And there was the dragon. It wasn't quite what Deb was expecting. She was covered in blue, almost grayish purple fur. There was a white fluffy mane around her neck. Her fur was smooth over most of her body, but became scruffier on her long tail and big ears. Two horns curbed back over her head while green markings covered parts of her body near her thighs, wrists and shoulders. She had a fur covered beak and black hair with green tips. As Deb studied her, she was certain that she was a unique species of dragon she had never seen before, but she didn't see anything that made her seem like anything less than an ordinary person... She was even dressed somewhat reasonably in a pair of shorts and sleeveless shirt. That was more than Deb could say for her new foxyote friend.

"Her name is June!" Kickaha hissed. "And she's a very mighty and scary dragon!"

"Doesn't seem that scary..." Deb responded.

"Oh trust me, that's just because she's biding her time. Just watch her."

At this the dragon who was named June slowly removed an apple from the grocery bag she was carrying and began to nibble at it.

"It looks like she's just eating an apple." Deb was unimpressed.

"But she's eating it evilly!" Kickaha insisted.

"Looks pretty normal to me." Deb responded.

"Well have you dealt with any evil dragon overlords before?" Kickaha asked smugly.

"Well no..." Deb admitted. About the closest she had was a normal dragon coworker in accounting.

"Then trust me on this! I'm the mighty wizard! I know what I'm talking about!" Kickaha nodded. "But first... We'll need to get the knight a mighty weapon. Only a weapon created to be wielded by the most innocent of hearts is strong enough to pierce the dragon's veil of evil!"

"You're laying it on a bit thick..." Deb complained. "Maybe this is a good time to call the game, or whatever this is, quits."

"Awwww!" Kickaha folded his ears back. "But I went through so much trouble to set this all up! I mean... As a mighty wizard! I traveled long and far to find the warrior who could traverse the deadly lair where the magical sword is! Only once you acquire this magical sword can you defeat the dragon."

"I feel I'm going to regret playing along with this more but..." Deb rolled her eyes. "Where's this lair with the magic sword?"

"Oh I know the way!" Kickaha smiled! He grabbed Deb by her sweater sleeve and led her away from June. About ten minutes later they were standing in a backyard before a large oak tree. A small wooden tree house rested in the branches of the tree with a rope ladder hanging down from it.

"A tree house?" Deb asked. Considering that Kickaha was a 'kid' she supposed that she should have expected this.

"No." Kickaha shook his head. "It's a tower. The Tower of Ultimate Deadly Doom of Doomed Deadly Doomedness. Only the chosen one can enter the tower! Otherwise um... There will be... Deadly explosions!" He threw his paws into the air to emphasize the deadliness of said explosions. "Of deadly doom!"

"If you agree to stop using the words 'dead,' 'doom' and any other permutations of them I'll climb up there and get the sword." Deb squinted down at the foxyote.

"Very well I accept your offer!" Kickaha responded. "Now you go up there and get the sword while I go get a thesaurus!" With that the foxyote ran off leaving Deb standing by herself.

"And here I am now... Climbing into some random kid's treehouse." Deb muttered. "Suburbs are weird." As she climbed to the top of the treehouse she found it looked pretty normal. There were various kids things scattered throughout it indicating it saw some regular use. She saw a few boxes of cards, comic books and a couple toys.

Laying at the center of the tree house was the sword. It was a wooden toy meant for younger kids. It was laid in such a way that the sunlight came through an open window landing directly on the wooden blade. As Deb stared at it she couldn't help but feel the fur stand up on the back of her neck. She tried to remind herself that this was just some kid playing a game. Still, she couldn't shake the sense of trepidation that something was about to happen.

Deb walked across the tree house. She had to duck to avoid hitting her head. She then slowly bent down and reached out a hand for the sword. She paused as if expecting something to happen. When nothing did she grabbed the sword and picked it up. Again nothing happen. She then stood back up to her full height without any problem and turned to leave.

"I found a thesaurus!" Kickaha shouted as he leaped up the ladder into the tree house with Deb. He opened it up happily and looked through a few pages. "I'm impressed you were able to get into this place! It must have been full of malignant traps of calamity!"

"Not really, it appears to be just a tree house." Deb spoke matter of factly.

"Huh is that so?" Kickaha looked around. "I was sure he'd have some kind of security system in here. Well it's probably fine."

"Wait who?" Deb looked down at the foxyote suspiciously. "This is your tree house right?"

"No it's not my treehouse. It's a tower." Kickaha insisted. "But it does belong to a friend of mine! It'll be fine! He'll understand we needed the sword for a good purpose... But maybe I'll just leave a quick note." Kickaha dug through some of the boxes in the tree house before finding a crayon and some paper. He then quickly wrote down: 'Emergency dragon adventure. I owe you one magic sword.' Kickaha then left the note in the exact patch of sunlight the sword had been found in. "And with that we're good to go."

"I find your behavior more and more suspicious by the moment." Deb muttered.

"Really?" Kickaha questioned. "Most people reach maximum suspicion within the first few seconds! You must be a surprisingly tolerant person!" With that he started climbing back down the tree house ladder.

"Thank you? I guess?" Deb wasn't sure how to respond to that. She walked back to the tree house exit and began to climb down as long. She had a minor amount of trouble as she did. Her pants leg slid slightly over her paw as she was climbing and she nearly slipped. She muttered at herself for being an idiot. The rungs were just slightly further apart than she thought they were and it had thrown her off.

"And with that you now have the legendary Sword of the Pure Hearted Warrior!" Kickaha responded. "Which has definitely been the name for this the entire time that I didn't just make up on the spot! Now come on, we need to find a spot to test it!"

"Don't you just want to go back and see the dragon now?" Deb asked as she tapped the sword against her shoulder.

"What are you crazy!?" Kickaha responded. "You can't just go running straight to the final boss! You'll get creamed! We need to go level up first!"

"Wait, this is a video game now?" Deb asked.

"No! This is real life!" Kickaha responded. "Now let's go wander around in the park until we randomly encounter some monsters to fight!"

"How did I get involved with this?" Deb rolled her eyes as she followed Kickaha out of the yard. She stopped for just a moment to adjust her pants which had slipped down her waist slightly. She supposed at least she was getting decent exercise. If she kept this up she'd be at least two sizes smaller by the time summer was over.

This time Kickaha led the squirrel to a local park and playground. There was a trail going around the park that went to the slide, then to the swings, then to a roundabout, a balance beam and finally a statue of a pig made by a local artist.

"Whoooaaaa!" Kickaha gave a shout as they reached the statue of the pig. "Watch out! It's a random encounter! WHOOOOOSH!"

"We're really doing this huh?" Deb asked as she looked at the toy sword in her head.

"Bum! Bum bum bum bum bum! Bum! Bum bum bum bum bum!" Kickaha began to do his best to give the fight a theme song. "Demon Pig emerges. Heroes win initiative! Strike first!"

"So what? You want me to just hit the statue?" Deb asked.

"Of course!" Kickaha responded. "You gotta teach that Demon Pig a lesson!"

"I'm beginning to think the real game here is just seeing how long you can keep stringing me along into this." Deb muttered. She slowly walked up and bopped the statue lightly with the sword.

"CRUUUUUUUUUSH!" Kickaha gave a shout. "68 damage! Demon Pig is vanquished!" He then switched to his singing voice again. "Yahoo we win! You get E-X-P! Dun dun dun! Dun dun dun! Dun dun dun! Dun dun dun! Dun dun dun! Dun dun dun! The party gained 50 xp. Deb is now level 2."

"We leveled up." Deb responded doing her best to go along with the silliness. "Does that mean I'm ready to face the dragon now?"

"Of course not!" Kickaha responded. "You're only level 2! You need more experience! Come on let's wonder around the park I'm sure we'll encounter more monsters!" With that Kickaha took off heading down the trail. The first thing they did was the slide. Kickaha quickly ran up the ladder of the slide.

"Okay I'll meet you on the other side of that." Deb said as she tried to walk past it.

"No you have to use the slide!" Kickaha responded. "Otherwise you're going out of area! And you can't do that -- it's not programmed in!"

"But nothing is programmed in." Deb responded. "This isn't a video game. It's real life."

"Exactly! So you have to use the slide!" Kickaha insisted.

Deb groaned as she began to climb up the side of the slide. Much to her surprise it was bigger than she expected. She didn't think she would even fit on it! Yet, as she reached the top she found there was plenty of room. She just had to stop for a moment and adjust her pants. Again they were trying to slip off! And now her sweater was slipping over the tips of her fingers. Had she done something to stretch them out today? Still... After adjusting herself to stay dressed she slid down the slide.

It was kind of fun. Not that as an adult she would say that out loud.

"Come on come on!" Kickaha shouted. His voice was a bit higher pitched than Deb thought it was previously. Then again she had thought it sounded a bit weird earlier... Almost like an adult. Now he sounded more like a teenager she supposed. As short as he was she imaged he was younger. He certainly had energy as he ran over to the swings.

"So what do I have to do here?" Deb asked. "By now she was picking up how this was going. She was sure she wouldn't be able to walk back the swing set.

"I'm glad you asked!" Kickaha responded. "Well you see!" He pause and looked around for a moment. "There is... Aha! An invisible force field in this area! That's right!" He nodded. "And the only way to get around it... Is to go over it!" He ran and jumped into one of the swings. "So you have to use these magical slingshots to shoot yourself over the barrier!" After a few swings back and forth Kickaha leaped out of the swing and landed a few feet away. "See? Easy!"

"Uh huh." Deb responded as she sat down on a swing. At least an adult on the swing set didn't look that abnormal. She began to swing back and forth. As she did she felt how loose her clothing really was on her. It was... Somewhat bothersome. She tried not to think about it as she reached higher speeds... And then she launched herself from the swing! She managed to make it a solid six feet across the ground! Her pants and underwear however only managed to make it about two feet. The slipped right off her as she flew through the air and she landed now dressed in only a sweater.

"Ohhhhhh." Kickaha muttered witnessing that. "That's no good. They're on the other side of the force field. We'll have to go all the way around to get them!"

"But why!?" Deb's voice cracked as she spoke. She paused and looked down at herself. Her sweater was so big on her that the sleeves hung off the tips of her hands and kept going. Then the sweater itself currently stretched down to the point that it covered most of her body. The hem of it reached down to her knees. Deb paused briefly becoming less concerned about her lost pants and more about that. "Am... Am I shrinking?"

"That would be ridiculous!" Kickaha walked up to her. He was still roughly only half her size; The same size he had started as. "If you were I would be bigger right?" Kickaha smiled. It wasn't readily apparent to Deb who had mistaken him as a child due to his size... But he was younger than when he had met her. The only thing hinting at this truth was his green cloak now hanging closer to the ground. Both him and Deb were roughly about twelve years of age now

"I... Guess..." Deb muttered. "But-"

"No buts!" Kickaha responded. "Adventure awaits! Come on now don't get left behind you slowpoke!"

Certain emotions welled up inside of Deb that she couldn't quite explain. She was of course worried about the fact she was now pantsless. More than that though... Was that Kickaha was being... A dumb stupid head trying to leave her behind! What a joke! She'd show him who was a slowpoke as she ran after him to catch up! She reached him right as he reached the roundabout.

Kickaha leaped onto the roundabout as it began to spin. Deb leaped onto it after him.

"You tried to ditch me, you jerk!" Deb stuck her tongue out at Kickaha. She grabbed a safety bar near Kickaha to avoid being thrown off the roundabout as they spun.

"Then you should be faster!" Kickaha stuck his tongue out back at her. The act was starting to become less of an act as time went on. Youth had a certain intoxicating effects at times. For a few moments the two spun around in circles on the roundabout just blowing raspberries at each other before they remembered the game they had been playing.

"Last one to the statue is a rotten egg!" Kickaha shouted as he jumped off the roundabout.

"Get back here!" Deb cried as she chased him. She was down to about nine years old now. The sweater was starting to make it difficult to run as it was now stretching down to her shins. As a result she wasn't able to catch up to Kickaha until he was already on the balance beam. She didn't even think about simply going behind the beam. She simply jumped up and crossed the beam after him. As she got closer she tugged on his oversized cloak causing Kickaha to fall off.

"Hey no fair!" Kickaha cried.

"Is too!" Deb responded. "Now you gotta go back to the beginning!" Kickaha accepted this logic without question as he ran back to the start of the balance beam. This gave the advantage to Deb now who was able to finish crossing. As soon as she jumped down she tripped though. Her sweater was now dragging along the ground. Deb started to stand up, and squirmed her way out of the sweater. She continued in her fuzzy birthday suit as she ran along the trail ahead of Kickaha.

Deb reached the pig statue first. Kickaha reached it a few seconds later with his cloak dragging on the ground behind him. Both of them were now no older than six years of age. Kickaha was still of course much shorter than Deb. Despite being the same age he was still half her size.

"You cheated." Kickaha managed to speak through heavy breathing. "I should have won!"

"Well you cheated first!" Deb said as she thrashed her tail. Her concern over her modesty had been completely forgotten.

"Well... You still have to beat the random encounter!" Kickaha said. "Which is... Right now!" He pointed at the pig statue.

"Isn't that just the same statue I already beat?" Deb asked.

"Nuh uh! Look how much bigger it is!"

"Wait..." Deb paused at this and looked down at herself as if noticing her body for the first time. She then looked at Kickaha seeing he still looked the same size. He was so short because he was a kid... But she was clearly a kid now... And...

"Bum! Bum bum bum bum bum!" Kickaha began to sing interrupting Deb's thoughts. "Giant Demon Pig emerges! Heroes win initiative! Strike first!"

"Oh right!" Deb remembering the game quickly ran up and energetically struck the pig statue on the head.

"CRUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH! 78 damage! Giant Demon Pig is slain! Dun dun dun dunnnnn!" Kickaha sang a victory fanfare. "Deb has reached level 3! Now just ninety-six more laps around the park and you'll be ready to fight the dragon!"

"I've got a better idea." Deb replied. She then began to smack the pig statue over and over again with the sword.

"Level four! Level five! Level six!" Kickaha counted with each sword strike. It took a few minutes but eventually he reached "Level ninety-nine!"

"There, now am I ready?" Deb asked sticking her tongue out.

"Fiiiine." Kickaha crossed his arms. "I wanted a rematch racing around the trail though. I guess we can go fight the dragon." With that Kickaha left the park heading back for the streets. He didn't have to drag Deb with him this time. She followed him eagerly waiting for her match with the dragon.

It took them a few minutes to find her. The fluffy dragon known as June was still out and about doing her shopping. The two children hid around the corner from her and spied on the dragon as they began to plot.

"She's so big and menacing." Deb whispered. She had given in to the youthfulness of her body and was completely in on the game now.

"We have to strike fast and hard!" Kickaha responded. "But not too hard! That sword is made of real wood and we'll probably get grounded if we give her a boo-boo!" He paused briefly wondering who would ground them. He also realized that maybe he had gone in a bit too far now. Even he was starting to think like a kid. Still, he had carried the game on too long to stop now.

The children waited until they were sure the dragon's guard was down. It didn't take long. She wasn't actually expecting to be attacked. Then they came running from around the corner screaming. Kickaha leaped onto June's leg grabbing it while Deb began attacking her tail with the sword.

"Um... Uh..." June looked at the two children hesitantly. It was rather obvious neither one was actually hurting her... Or even doing much to actually stop her from moving. She was just more in shock of what had happened. "What's going on?"

"Dragon adventure." Kickaha spoke as if it explained anything.

"Oh I guess that makes sense." June nodded.

"Wait..." Deb was roused from her battle fervor by this sudden acceptance. "Just like that? You're okay with that?"

"It's not the first time something like this has happened." June shrugged. "And I can kinda guess what's going on from the oversized cloak and birthday suit thing."

"Ah." Deb was reminded of her nudity at this point. The weird thing was at this point she didn't even feel any shame over it. It was as if it didn't even matter. Instead she focused on the more pressing issue. "So you're really just okay with this? Just like that?"

"Of course!" June smiled. "I mean I've been in your shoes... Or I guess lack of them a few times! I don't mind. Feels a bit odd being the one outside of it though."

"I suppose that was a bit rude of us." Kickaha snapped his fingers at this. Immediately June began to shrink. Her horns grew shorter atop her head as her features softened. As her clothing grew baggier on her she tumbled downward landing on her bottom. Her claws became smaller, as her tail looked shorter and her ears looked bigger in comparison to her head. In just a few moments June was reduced to a mere six-year-old like Kickaha and Deb.

"Wait..." Realization seemed to dawn on Deb. "You've been doing this!"

"Well um... Uh... You see..." Kickaha managed to look sheepish at that. "The thing about that is... Um... DRAGON!" He said pointing at the de-aged June.

"Raaaawr!" June gave a shout, getting into the role. She stood up, letting her adult clothing slip off. "Rooooooooooawr!" She held up her paws in the air and playfully clawed at Deb.

"Eek!" Deb dove to the ground and rolled to the side to avoid the attack.

"I got her!" Kickaha gave a shout as he tried to tackle June. In terms of size... June was now about halfway between Deb and Kickaha. This meant that Kickaha actually weighed enough to knock her over.

"RAAAAAAAWR!" June gave out a cry at this. She then whacked Kickaha lightly with her tail to get him off. When this didn't work she resorted to tickling him with the tip of her tail until he fell off of her in a giggle fit. June then leaped to her feet looked between the two.

"Be careful! I think she's trying to get away!" Kickaha shouted.

"I am?" June asked.

"She is?" Deb asked.

"Yeah!" Kickaha said. "Because... Back at the playground there's more stuff for us to play on and have this epic battle! So she's probably going to lure us there or something!"

"Yeah that was my plan!" June said. "I mean... ROOOOOOOAWR! Which way is that playground?"

"Oh well um..." Kickaha thought for a moment. "You take a left at the end of this street, then turn right after two blocks... Then the entrance should be right there on your left."

"Wait is that my left or your left?" June asked.

"It should be the same left once you're walking down the street!" Kickaha said. "Wait I mean..." He paused and turned to face down the street. He then looked down at his two arms. Dang it... For some reason being this young made directions harder. He just had to remember. He wrote with his right hand! So he held that one up. That made the other way left! "That's right! It'll be the same left! That way!" He pointed in the correct direction.

"Right!" June said. "I mean... ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAWR!" With that she took off running down to the end of the street.

"Kickaha!" Deb shouted. "You can't just let her get away! You're supposed to be a wizard do something."

"I'm a wizard not a miracle worker!" Kickaha responded. "I can't just stop her from escaping! That would be overpowered and ruin the game!"

"Then what can you do?" Deb asked.

"I can..." Kickaha thought for a moment as he watched June run down the street. "I can cast a flight spell so we can catch up with her!"

"Quickly do it!" Deb shouted.

"Um let's see! Shooby dooby dew! I asked a bid how he flew! And he said now can do it too!" Kickaha threw up his paws and jumped up in down in a ridiculous manner. "There we can fly now!" With that he threw out his arms to the side and began to run down the street. He never actually left the ground but he was sure he made 'whoosh' noises with his mouth. Everyone knew that running with your arms out and shouting 'whooooosh' was just as good as actual flying!

Even Deb knew that! Because she didn't question how the spell worked at all. Just like Kickaha she threw out her arms and made the whooshing noises as she chased after June.

At this point all three of them had forgotten about the facts they were supposed to be adults. They were all caught up in the game as they ran for the park. The whole being the wrong age thing... That was a problem they could figure out in the future. Right now... Kids just wanted to play.

The End