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Adventures in Kittensitting

By CalexTheNeko

Kickaha sat on the couch with a completely blank look on his face. The foxyote was dressed as usual in only his green cloak. It made him look somewhat underdressed in comparison to the wolf that was standing across from him. The gray wolf was dressed in dress shirt, pants a coat, hat and even... Shoes! Kickaha always knew that there had to be someone out there that was keeping the shoe industry alive. He just hadn't met them yet before now.

"So then..." The wolf spoke. His name was Odin. It was a weird meeting for both of them. The two had heard quite a bit about each other from a common acquaintance... But they had never actually physically met. "It's not that I question your capability or your experience." Odin gestured towards a stack of papers sitting on the coffee table. "And I have to say... This is a very nicely faked resume! I mean it's got a great letterhead and you even included very real sounding references. If it weren't for the fact you are here of your own free will I would almost think it was real!"

"I had quite a bit of fun coming up with the skill list!" Kickaha smiled proudly. "Anyone can just list down common skills! But it takes a true genius to make up completely new and original skills."

"Yes quite." Odin nodded. "And I'm sure your make pretend experience in-" he paused as he read the paper. "Titanic Atlantian Crab Wrestling Coaching would serve you well. The simple fact I have to ask is... Do you really want to do this?"

"Oh sure!" Kickaha said. "What could go wrong? And by that I mean could you give me a few examples? I'm hoping this becomes rather spectacular ya know."

"Whelp, I've done my part to warn you." Odin threw up his hands. "The job is yours!"

"Huzzah!" Kickaha leaped off the couch. He was barely more than half Odin's size. "In fact I dare say huzzah again!"

"Honestly I'm mostly just skeptical because it's the first time anyone has volunteered. Most of the babysitting agencies have my phone number blocked by this point. Honestly, it's not as if he's prone to misbehave... He's just well... From I guess from what I hear you've already met him."

"Oh yes!" Kickaha responded. "Calex is a good kid! He's also just very... Calex!"

"That's probably the best way to describe it." Odin nodded sagely. "Keep him alive and fed until I get back and you'll have made yourself $50!"

"Ohhhh I hope that's a lot!" Kickaha responded.

"Do... Do you actually use money?" Odin tilted his head. He didn't know as much about the foxyote that he should... But apparently on the census forms (which no one needs to ask how he obtained) Kickaha's official occupation was listed as 'Trickster.' On one hand! That probably wasn't the type of person one would usually want hanging out with a child... Especially one that was at such an impressionable age. On the other hand... Not too many other types of peoples would survive the night with their wits still together. "I've gotta get going though. Had to start moonlighting since we didn't get paid for our last few cases... And I had to replace my wardrobe... Three times."

"I can see how that could become a problem." Kickaha smiled. "Really though is it that hard to find a sitter for the little guy?"

"You have no idea." Odin shook his head. "And usually the ones who will do it... Often find themselves in certain positions that make it impossible for them to continue."

"It shouldn't be that hard to find a sitter!" Kickaha smiled. "I mean, honestly, you should save time and just advertise in 'Trickster's Weekly!' What trickster wouldn't want to make a little cash and pick up some new material?"

"I'm not sure if the two of you hanging out has caused him to rub off on you or the other way around..." Odin's ears flattened slightly. "Or possibly just compiled the effects. But either way it scares me."

"Everything will be fiiiiiiiiiiine." Kickaha responded.

"Whelp, now I know this is going to end poorly." Odin muttered. "In the history of hearing those words it has never been fine. Not once not ever." Odin then paused as he looked at the clock on the wall. "But sadly I am out of time... So I have to get going and just pray for the best. He should be in the backyard. Just try not to physically lose him and we'll call the night a success."

"Oh that shouldn't be too hard." Kickaha smiled as he watched the wolf head out the front door. Once he was gone Kickaha worked his way through the cluttered living room and towards the backdoor. He slid the door opened and stepped outside. He paused as his ears twitched.

The backyard was completely devoid of the kitten he was supposed to be looking after. Calex knew Kickaha was being considered for the position so he would have been prepared. He doubted the young feline had actually run off. Because simply put... That would be boring. No doubt he was waiting for the foxyote. Waiting... Like a cat waiting for its-

Oh he supposed that metaphor was more literal than usual right now!

Kickaha listened carefully. He could just barely hear a 'tap tap tap' that might have been little kitten claws moving across roof tiles. He pretended to ignore them as he stepped out confidently into the backyard and looked around.

"Oh no!" Kickaha said in mock terror. "The kitten I was supposed to look after seems to have gone missing! I am completely in shock!" Kickaha held up a paw to his forehead as he stared off into the distance. "Shock I say! On my first day on the job too! I am such shock that I find myself completely distracted with guard completely lowered!"

There was a flash of movement... And then an orange blur leaped from the roof.

"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAWR!" The orange kitten appeared from over the edge of the roof. He was even smaller than Kickaha... Only about a third of the foxyote's size. Aside from his coat of orange fur the kitten was completely naked as he flew through the air straight for the foxyote.

"OLE!" Kickaha gave a shout. He stepped to the side as he swung his cloak out in front of the kitten. He then pulled the cloak back up just as the kitten flew past it and tumbled to the ground rolling in a ball.

"Awwwwwww." The kitten whined as he came to a stop. He slowly stood up and held his arms behind his back as his tail curled slightly behind his leg. "I wanted to getcha!"

"Tis was an admirable effort!" Kickaha responded. "But I had to be able to say I put one over on you at least once. Professional pride and all that! But now I'm all yours for the rest of the night. So what shall we do?"

"Well... I did have one idea..." Calex responded. The kitten slowly walked up to the foxyote with a friendly smile. He was clearly quite happy to see his friend... And yet... Kickaha couldn't help but observe the kitten's arms never moved from behind his back. Nor did his tail. The kitten's tail was normally twitching wildly behind him held high in the air with pride! He was up to something.

"Oh I'm sure you do!" Kickaha responded. "And as fun as it would probably be! Since when do things ever go according to plan!?" With that Kickaha snapped his fingers. The water balloon that Calex was hiding behind his back suddenly burst and the kitten was completely soaked as it exploded all over him. "Sorry... But I had to. You were just being way too obvious about it."

"But but- meoooooooooow!" Calex's voice cracked and then turned into a loud pitched meow as he objected. Suddenly the kitten began to shrink into himself. The young feline was getting even younger now that he was soaking wet. He soon flopped over onto all fours as he lost his sense of balance. His paws grew larger in comparison to his young body. His tail shrunk shorter as his ears looked bigger on his head. Soon the six year old kitten was looking more like a six month old infant. "MROOOOOWL!" Calex objected. He had regressed to such a young age that the capability of speech now eluded him.

"You don't have to be so disappointed!" Kickaha grinned as he patted the infant kitten on the head. Well... An inch above his head. He didn't want to actually touch the kitten currently covered in fountain of youth water. "Since it's you I'm sure you'll still find a way to have fun like that! But really now... Turning the babysitter into a baby? Don't you think it's just a bit overplayed?"

"Mew!" Calex responded by sticking his tongue out at the foxyote.

"Oh come on fair is fair!" Kickaha protested. "You know if it had worked you'd be laughing it up right now! You can't be upset just cause someone gets the better of you once-"

"MROOOOOOWL!" Calex interrupted with a loud yowl as he began to shake himself off. His fur puffed up as the water was flung from his small body. Kickaha might have commented on this and even made fun of it! However... The foxyote was distracted by one small detail.

"Gaaaaah!?" Kickaha was now completely soaked from the water that had been flung off of Calex. "You cheeky little..." Kickaha stared down at the infant feline. "Well played." Kickaha then began to shrink himself. His cloak grew looser and looser on him as the foxyote grew smaller. The changes he went through were similar to Calex's but much more drastic due to the age difference. Kickaha had a few more seconds of balance before his legs gave out and he was forced to crawl on all fours. As his ears got bigger, tail shorter and body rounder he was soon in infancy himself. Like Calex he was now somewhere around six months old. He was slightly bigger than the feline though... If only because he was a larger animal. There was now a baby foxyote next to the baby kitten.

Calex had missed most of the change occurring. The feline had been doing his best to groom his fur back down into place so it was no longer puffed up. He finished this just as Kickaha had finished reaching the six month mark. Upon seeing this Calex looked up from what he was doing and smiled. He then stuck his tongue out mockingly at the foxyote.

"Yap!" Kickaha fixed Calex with his best 'Oh you' look that he could manage. It looked less sarcastic and more mind numbingly adorable due to his current age. He then crawled over to the kitten until the two were almost face to face.

"Mew?" Calex tilted his head and looked at Kickaha questioningly.

"YIP!" Kickaha responded by lifting up his paw and in one fluid motion booping Calex on the tip of his nose with it.

"MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!" Calex flailed his paws above his face as he fell down onto his stomach. The kitten calmed down after a few seconds before shooting a glare back up at the foxyote.

"Yap!" Kickaha grinned ear to ear. He then slowly booped Calex on the nose again.

"MROWL!" The kitten flailed helplessly at getting booped again. This time he managed to flail hard enough to actually knock himself on his back. "MEOOOOOOW!" The kitten shouted at the foxyote as if telling him to stop.

"Yip?" Kickaha managed to look like the picture of innocence at this point.

"Meooooow!" Calex slowly crawled back onto his stomach and then sat up ."Meow mew mrowl!" He gestured his own paw at Kickaha then his nose.

"Yip?" Kickaha asked. He pointed his paw at his own nose.

"MEOW!" Calex shouted and directed his own paw at his own nose.

"Yip!" Kickaha pointed at Calex's nose.

"Mew!" Calex responded with a nod.

"YIIIIP!" Kickaha grinned and booped the kitten on the nose again.

"MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!" The kitten let out a shriek as he again flailed his paws and fell over.

The booping continued for several hours. Or possibly several minutes. It's difficult to tell time when your brain is only six months old.

Eventually though Kickaha remembered that he did in fact have duties to do. Regardless of if the two were now the same age... He was being paid! And by default that made him in charge! That meant he did have to make sure some semblance of order was kept! Or at least some mockery of it!

"Yip!" Kickaha gestured at the door. It was getting late in the evening and was probably time for the kitten to come inside.

"Meoooow." Calex objected. He wanted to stay out and play more.

"Yaaaaap!" Kickaha understood. But he pointed at the door again. It was inside time.

"MEW!" Calex crossed his arms and stared at the foxyote.

BOOP!

In a swift motion Kickaha booped Calex on the nose again. The kitten fell over onto his side, and while he was flailing Kickaha grabbed the feline's tail in his mouth. He then crawled backwards to the door dragging the kitten by the tail. He did run into one slight problem though... He didn't have any way to open the door! Luckily... It was a problem that seemed to fix itself! It seemed that Odin had installed a doggy door! And it was unlocked! Somehow... Kickaha suspected the door had been installed specifically because he suspected scenes like this were incredibly common for this household.

The foxyote dragged the kitten in through the door. He didn't let go of his tail until both of them were back inside the living room.

"Meooooow." Calex pouted at being brought inside, but made no attempt to go back for the door.

"Yap!" Kickaha smiled. Now then? What else was a babysitter supposed to do? Let's see... Calex had already been fed before Odin left so thankfully that was taken care of... That meant he would just be responsible for putting the kitten to bed... And aha! Of course! That one other thing. Kickaha flashed a menacing smile.

"M-mew?" Calex crawled backwards away from the foxyote scared of his expression.

"Yiiiiiiiiip." Kickaha barked at Calex. Then he crawled rapidly forward and tackled the kitten.

"M- mew!?" Calex gave a surprise shout. He wasn't sure what was going on at first! But it didn't take a long time to figure out what was happening. His eyes widened as he felt something warm and wet touch one of his ears. The kitten began to squirm and try to scramble out of the foxyote's grasp... But by this point it was too late!

IT WAS BATH TIME!

Currently not having the necessary upper body strength and balance needed to use the bathtub Kickaha was forced to improvise for one of his duties! He was sure that Odin would be quite upset if the kitten didn't get his mandatory bath! Luckily some traditional methods of grooming were easy to access no matter what age or size one found themselves!

Kickaha crawled onto Calex's back and held the kitten down. He then began lick the back of Calex's head and backside. The kitten squirmed and objected loudly throughout the entire process. However Kickaha refused to let up. Once he had completely groomed Calex's backside he pushed the kitten over onto his back. Then the foxyote started on the kitten's chest and stomach. Then just when the kitten thought it was finally over... The foxyote moved on to his tail!

Scandalized and now thoroughly clean (in the foxyote's opinion) Calex eventually freed himself. He glared at the foxyote before crawling underneath a chair. The kitten then began to furiously lick himself as he started to groom the exact same spots Kickaha had just cleaned.

"Yiiiiip! Yaaaap!" Kickaha objected. He held up a paw in disbelief. He didn't get it! When he did it, it was gross? But now that the kitten was licking himself it was okay? Cats were crazy. It was like every idea was bad unless they themselves came up with it!

Still Kickaha let the kitten sulk. Eventually after Calex was convinced that he had cleaned himself from the cleaning he came out from under the chair. At this point it was getting very late in the evening. The kitten let out a large yawn as if just to emphasize this.

The only duty left... Putting the kitten to bed. That seemed a challenging endeavor. Kickaha was fairly confident the two weren't going to be physically crawling into an actual bed anytime soon... He wasn't even sure he could get into the bedroom. There weren't any doggy doors inside like there was for the backdoor. That meant he'd have to improvise.

Well! If nothing else he was good at that.

"Mew?" Calex tilted his head and stared at Kickaha unsure of what the foxyote intended now.

"Yaaaaaaaaaap!" Kickaha half yawned and half barked. He then proceeded to simply flop atop the kitten.

"Meeew." The kitten sounded mildly annoyed at this. However he didn't put up much of a fight. He was tired at this point too... And the foxyote was warm. It was like having a big soft blanket on him. The kitten stopped struggling and tried to rest beneath Kickaha. Then within minutes both of them were sound asleep snoring.

Roughly two hours later the front door opened. Odin returned looking exceptionally worn out. There were some tears in his coat and shirt but he was walking with the air of victory.

"I'm back!" Odin called as stepped into the living room. "How was he-" Odin paused mid sentence as he noticed there were two infants asleep in the living room. One kitten and one foxyote. He sighed as he looked down at them. "Yup that seems about right... Guess I better find a babysitter for both of them for tomorrow night."

The End