I decided to "write" this as an experiment... The original story that this was adapted from was written over a decade ago. I retained the core story idea, while I went about rewriting it from virtually the ground-up, and yet still keep as much of the dialogue and feel of it as I could.
The original was written in a present-tense style (or a "2nd-person perspective"), so half my work was changing it to 3rd-person perspective to make it flow better. While the original was a decent story in its own right- it felt fairly repetitive and awkward at times. I tightened up a lot of the scenes and "fixed" various narrative and pacing issues (as well as expanding upon them). Also, Whistle's full name is pronounced "Willow-aaster".
Notice: I claim no ownership of the original story, only for this rewrite. I mainly did this to test myself as a writer, and for fun. So please, just sit back and enjoy this!
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THE VISITOR: "An Erotic Weekend"
Adapted by Seres North, from a story by 'Paul Taylor'
It was early fall in the 'Lake District', and most of the holiday cabins had been closed down as the tenants left to avoid the arrival of the colder season...
And yet, here, on this rainy night, a lone car drove down a dark forest road. The high beams from the car cut through the rain, illuminating the trees on either side of the rout. The radio faded in and out as burst of lighting illuminated the scenery outside.
The car's driver, Alison Doyle (a 23 year old Raccoon), grumbled to herself as she looked for the marker that showed the turn-off to the cottages. "Come on down to the cabin, we'll have a great time!" She thought irately, repeating her friend's words to herself. "Ooh, this place is so infuriating- I can't even get a signal on my cellphone!" She raged internally, glaring at the phone.
"I am so going to kill her when I get there!" The Raccoon declared. "Nothing but rainstorms and bad weather...' That's what she should have said!" Allison continued as the wipers brushed aside the endless peppering of raindrops from the wind shield. "Honestly... I would have been better off at home with my little brother- at least then I could watch TV!" She exclaimed. "Now... where is that damn sign?!"
A sudden flash of green and reflective silver off to her left caught her attention, prompting her to slow down the car as she started heading down a long gravel path. After a few moments of driving down the tree lined strip, she pulled up to the cottage. Allison parked the car, a late-model dark blue sedan, and looked through the window, into rainy darkness...
She withdrew the key, lingered for a moment in the driver's seat, listening to the sound of rain hitting the metal canopy above her. The raccoon frowned at the constant 'pap-pap-pap', with no indication that the rain was going to abate any time soon. She grabbed her purse and her duffel bag, and got ready to make a run for the cabin. Alison threw open the door and bolted for the wooden building...
She skidded to a stop at the door, only to realize that her friend, Lilian "Lily" Redford (a 24 year old Vixen) had the only set of keys for the place. She pounded on the heavy door and called for the other woman to respond, till she finally heard a voice call back. The raccoon had been thoroughly drenched before she had reached the wooden awning, so she had to wait, dripping wet, to be let in.
And it was no secret that her mood wasn't much better. Her dark blue sleeveless button-up top and blue jeans were soaked, and her shoes were even worse. Her long gray-brown hair (that came down just past her shoulders) had darkened and gone limp in the rain.
After what felt like an eternity, the heavy door finally swung open, revealing an attractive vixen standing in the doorway. Alison regarded Lily, dressed in a pair of cut-off jeans (that showed off the fringes of her round bottom) and a skimpy white tank top- with '100% Pure Sweetheart' written across the front red lettering. Her almost waist-length dark red hair was held back with a hair clip. The raccoon marveled at how the top somehow managed to cover (or rather, to contain) her friend's rather ample breasts. "I've been waiting for you, what took you so long?"
"What took me?!" Alison replied tersely, fixing her with a glare. "Just what were you doing in there, baking a damn a cake?!" She raged at as she stormed inside. "Oh never mind..." She paused, slamming the door shut behind her. "Is there any hot water left? I'm drenched and I could use a shower."
"Yeah, go on ahead, there's a full tank." The vixen replied warmly. "I'll just go build up the fire again while you're washing up." Alison continued with a smile as the raccoon stepped past her and headed straight for the cabin's lone bathroom. Lily then set about getting the fire blazing again.
Once Alison was finished with her shower, she dried herself off and wrapped up in a towel, then made her way to the smaller guest room. Out of politeness to the owner, they weren't using the main room, one of them would use the guest room and the other used the fold-out coach in the den. She slipped into a pair of fresh underwear- a pair of lacy black panties and a matching nightgown.
Alison made her way to the den. Lily was presently in the kitchen, putting away various freshly cleaned dishes and cutlery in the cabinets over the counter. There was a sudden knock at the door and the vixen rushed to the den, exchanging a confused look with the raccoon. "I wonder who could be calling at this time of night? ...We're the only ones around." Alison remarked.
The raccoon then got up to go retrieve a robe from the guest room while Lily went to investigate who was at the door. The vixen looked through the peephole. "...Oh my goodness!" She exclaimed as she moved to unlock the door. "Come in! Please come in! You must be drenched."
Alison returned, clad in a light pink robe, in time to watch as a young gray wolf stepped through the door and into the entryway- water dripping persistently from every part of him. His black t-shirt and worn blue jeans were soaked and clung tellingly to his well-toned body. "Sorry to bother you ladies at a time like this..." He began apologetically. "But I happened to see the lights on... and was wondering if I could borrow your phone. My car broke down a way's back and I need to call a tow-truck."
The vixen ushered the wolf inside. "Er, sorry, but the local towing service isn't open this late at night." Lily explained to him. "Though, we'd be happy to take you into town in the morning." She offered him with friendly smile. "Now," she continued with a clap. "...Why don't you get out of those wet clothes, before you get sick, and take a shower? And we can dry your clothes over the fireplace in the mean time, won't we Alison?" Lily smiled as she spoke the last bit to her friend.
Alison pried her attention away from the handsome wolf to answer. "Oh, yeah, sure..." She managed to reply dumbly. "By the way, I'm Alison and the young fox with her mouth hanging open is Lily."
The vixen abruptly turned to the other woman. "What do you mean 'young fox'?" She asked her longtime friend incredulously. "I'm older than you!"
"Ladies, ladies... please, there's no need to fight." The wolf quickly interjected with a smile, his tone diplomatic as he stepped between the two of them. "Ah, of course, where are my manners... My name is Willowaster Lonebrave, but you can just call me 'Whistle'- everyone else does. So now, if you could just tell me the which way it is to the shower?"
Alison turned away from her friend and regarded the wolf. "Oh, right. Just go down that hall, over there to the right... It's the last door on the left."
Whistle nodded and made his way down the dim hall, quickly finding the bathroom. He stepped inside and set about undressing. He then opened the door enough to peak his head out. "You two said you'd dry these for me... So, I'll leave them out here, okay?"
And with that, he set them down and went back in. Lily was quick to retrieve the wet clothes, and took them back to the den to hang them from the hearth, over the fire. With that out of the way, she turned to Alison with a big grin. "See, I told you we would have some fun."
With the wolf presently occupied, the two women huddled together. "So, Lily my dear, what do you think of our guest? Do you think we have a chance with him?" The raccoon asked her friend.
The vixen just smiled even more at the question. "Hah, don't worry, between the two of us... I don't see any reason why not." Lily replied conspiratorial tone. "Now... Did you notice those muscles?"
Alison smiled deviously and nodded. "Of course! And how about that nice, tight ass?" She fired back at the other woman, almost giddy. "I can't wait to see what the rest of him looks like... From his name, I'd say he's a Plains' Wolf, so I bet his markings will look incredible when he's dried off."
Lily smiled and grabbed her friends hands. "I think I'm in love!" She declared. "And that's not all, how about his manners of his? Aren't they to die for?!"
Before Alison could respond, her ears pricked and she looked past her friend's shoulder, down the hall where the bathroom was located. "Shhh! I think he's finished with his shower..." She warned her friend in a hushed tone. "I think he's finished in there..."
"Quick, go to the kitchen." Lily began. "I need you to take care of things in there while I get changed into something more appropriate." The vixen instructed. "It won't take me long. I'll meet you back in here in a few minutes." With that, she left for the guest room, while Alison went to the kitchen.
Once Whistle had finished drying himself off, he wrapped the towel around his waist and opened the door to look out into the hallway. "Alison, Lily, do you know if my clothes are dry yet?"
It was Lily who answered. "Sorry, hon, but your clothes aren't quite ready yet." She replied, trying to sound apologetic as she told him. "For now... Why don't you get comfortable on the couch?" She offered him, still unseen. "We'll be with you shortly." With that, the wolf nodded to himself and made his way to the den to take seat on the couch he'd seen when he first came in.
"Oh, would you like some hot chocolate?" Asked Lily, the vixen now was in the kitchen, dressed in a pair of lacy white panties and a matching nightgown.
He perked up at the offer. "Yes, that would be great, thanks ladies!" He replied cheerfully as he quickly took a seat on the couch- an old, low-backed number, with brown upholstery. Alison soon returned from the bedroom, just as Lily left the kitchen with a serving tray. The two women almost smiled in unison at the sight of Whistle- the young wolf having made himself comfortable by then.
As the wolf glanced up, he couldn't help but stare at the image of the two ladies- both women dressed in contrasting sheer nightgowns. Alison sat down beside him on his left, snaking her arms around his, while Lily leaned out over the low coffee table, making sure to give Whistle and her friend a good view of her ample cleavage as she set the serving tray down.
Lily smiled at the wolf. "Would you like some marshmallows in yours?"
Whistle nodded intently and Lily proceeded to reach for the bowl of marshmallows, putting the fluffy orbs into the warm darkness of the hot chocolate. The vixen smiled sweetly at him as she handed the cup to the wolf, deliberately letting her fingers brush against his as he accepted.
As Whistle sampled the hot chocolate, Alison and Lily exchanged knowing smiles as the vixen sat down beside the wolf on his right, across from the raccoon. While the three drank their hot chocolate, they made small talk between listening to the encroaching thunderstorm. "So, Whistle, what exactly do you do for a living?" Alison asked in a friendly tone.
Whistle paused, lowering his cup. "Well... I'm enrolled in Saltar's School of Fine Cooking." The wolf replied casually. "When I graduate in the spring, I'll be working for my father at his restaurant."
Meanwhile outside, the winds whipped the surface of the lake into whitecaps as the rain beat down on the sturdy wooden roof. As the three watched the storm through the port window, the fire slowly died down to a warm glow. The three soon found themselves watching in relative silence.
_ CRASH!!! _
The lights in the cabin flickered momentarily as lightning struck nearby. In the commotion, Alison and Lily threw themselves at Whistle, clinging to the wolf for comfort. Thinking that they were genuinely scared by the thunder, Whistle slipped a comforting arm around both of them. The two women seized the opening and quickly snuggled up against the wolf under the pretense of fear.
As if having the two women's breasts pressed against his arms wasn't enough, Alison and Lily suddenly began to nuzzle and gently lick the soft fur of Whistle's face and neck... their arms maneuvering around his body to feel the heat from his chest as they traced the contours of his muscles. The raccoon seemed to instinctively know just how to stimulate his body, and the warmth of the vixen's full bosom felt particularly welcoming to him at the moment...
Whistle tried to think of a way of getting out of his current predicament, but any such thoughts were soon halted when he felt a pair of warm, moist tongues lapping at him. He quickly felt the ladies' hands traveling up and down his chest in slow sensual motions. He tried to remove his arms from around their bodies, only to find that Alison and Lily now had him trapped!
The wolf tried to speak, but Lily promptly silenced him with a kiss- hungrily sliding her tongue into his mouth to explore the contours and depths. Both Alison and Lily then take hold of his hands- placing them on their breasts, over the thin fabric of their nightgowns. As the vixen continued to duel with Whistle's tongue, Alison ran hers along his jaw and up his cheek.
The raccoon suddenly stopped and looked at him intently. "You know, you didn't have a chance once we all sat down." Alison remarked with a smile. "So stop fighting and enjoy yourself." She intoned in sultry voice. "Just relax and enjoy yourself... and us!"
Seeing that what Alison had said was true, Whistle slipped his tongue into Lily's warm mouth and returned the kiss. While his tongue moved along her teeth, he slipped his hand under her nightgown to cup one of the the vixen's large breast in his hand. As he continued to kiss her, Whistle circled a claw around her nipple- causing her to arch her back and moan into his mouth.
Lily began to find her nightgown to be too constraining, especially with Whistle's hand moving under the thin white fabric. She gently removed his hand, letting it trail across her breast, then flashed him a quick smile before standing up. As she stepped back, her calves bumped into the coffee table, laughing nervously at herself. The vixen quickly set about moving the table up against the far wall, making sure that the other two get a good view of her round bottom as she bent over.
Once the center of the room cleared out, the fox turned around and began to slowly shimmy out of her nightgown, till she pulled it over her head and cast it aside. Clad only in her lacy white panties, she sat back down beside Whistle. Alison took this as her cue and removed her nightgown- leaving herself dressed in just her black panties. She then leaned in to lick the underside of Whistle's muzzle.
Not wanting to be left out, Lilly cupped the wolf's chin and turned his face towards her to plant a heated kiss on his lips. Alison next gave Whistle a playful nip on his cheek to get his attention- then stole his lips again with a kiss of her own. Alison slid her hand down his along his firm abs, till she reached the top of his towel. "My dear Alison... This towel is getting rather uncomfortable at the moment and I would like to remove it, if you don't mind..."
The ladies glanced downward, and smiled. His erection was clearly pressing against the soft fabric of the white towel, creating a noticeable bulge. "Oh, please... let us do the honors." Lily replied in a seductive tone. The girls then climbed onto the floor and knelt before him, giving fond looks as they placed their hands on his knees, gently urging his legs further apart. Hands darted under the towel and Whistle felt their hands moving along his inner thighs.
Lily wrapped her hands around his shaft and Alison cupped his balls, the wolf grunting and bucking his hips slightly in response to their touch. The raccoon then joined the vixen, their slender hands began gently teasing and caressing the tender flesh of his hard shaft. The two then began planting licks and kisses along his inner thighs, slowly undoing the towel from the inside. Alison and Lily slipped under the towel, further parting it as they kissed and licked his organ.
After what felt like an agonizingly long time to Whistle, the towel finally slipped open and fell away, allowing his stiff member to spring free. The sensitive pink flesh of his hard shaft glistened slightly in the low firelight that now illuminated the den. Lily wrapped her lips around the tip of his cock and skillfully snaked her tongue around the tapered head of his wolfhood, while the Alison sucked at the base and fondled his balls. He watched silently as the gorgeous vixen took more of the length into her mouth, and started to bob up and down on his hard shaft.
Alison smiled and began running her tongue up along the underside of his member while she continued to massage his aching balls. The raccoon slowly worked her way up the length of his shaft, her dark lips moving upward, until she made contact to with the fox's pink lips at the tip. With his cock securely trapped in their "kiss", the two females began sliding their warm wet mouths along the length of his stiff member, driving him ever closer to the edge.
Whistle groaned, digging his hands into the dark brown material of the couch, while the girls continued to stimulate the tender flesh of his organ with their mouths. Eventually, the vixen reclaimed the head of the wolf's dick and expertly nursed his member. The young wolf suddenly felt a shiver run through his lower body and reflexively bucked into Lily. He buried himself in her welcoming muzzle just as his cock pulsed and his seed spilled into her warm mouth.
The fox swallowed his load, then pulled back from his slick cock to share a kiss with Alison- allowing the raccoon to taste Whistle's seed on her lips. Whistle was left gasping as Lily wiped her mouth off and licked her fingers. "Now, girls, how about we move this show down to the floor?" He asked the two of them. "There'll be more than enough room for the three of us down there."
Lily smiled at the suggestion. "Okay sweetie, whatever my 'wolfy' wants!" The vixen exclaimed happily and got to her feet. The three moved the large throw rug to the center of the room and whistle got himself comfortable at the prompting of the ladies. Alison discarded her nightgown and slipped off her panties, then knelt down before him and gently caressed his member. She leaned down and flicked her tongue across the tip of his dick while sliding her hand up and down his length.
The raccoon then rose up and positioned herself over him. The wolf remained silent as Alison lowered herself down on him, his entire length slowly sucked in by her dark brown lips of her sex, until he was embraced in the grip of her insides. Whistle fell back and placed his hands on her hips, slowly starting to thrust into her. The grip she had on him caused him to wonder if she worked out!
Lily swiftly removed her damp panties and positioned herself over his face, exposing her dripping mouth to him. "Is my dear wolf pleased with me..." The fox began. "Pleased enough to let me know how much with that tongue of yours?" The request made the wolf smile, even as Alison sat astride him and rode his length as he continued moving within her.
"Sure thing, my dear. It'd be my pleasure." Whistle replied as he brushed his nose up against the soft pink folds of her mound... taking in her spicy sent. Alison smiled and watched her friend. Lily gasped as she felt he begin lapping at her slick folds with his long tongue. The vixen moaned, then began grinding against Whistle's mouth as his tongue delved inside her. At the same time, Alison continued to impale herself on the wolf's hard shaft, her entire body rocked with every powerful thrust.
Lily moaned in pleasure as Whistle continued to tease her aching sex. The wolf withdrew his tongue and began to tease her swollen clit, gently licking and sucking it. Alison leaned forward and silenced the vixen as she captured her lips in a heated kiss. The fox whimpered into her friend's mouth as she returned the gesture, their tongues battling as they kissed.
Moments later, the vixen cried out, soaking Whistles with her juices. The wolf then felt the raccoon's insides clamp down around his pulsing member as she let out her own pleasured cry. Whistle felt Alison as climax around his hard shaft. His back arched and his body went stiff, and he made a final thrust into her as he came- filling her tight warm passage with his thick cum.
Lily tried to get up, only to topple onto the floor. She laughed nervously as she sat up. Once Alison had caught her breath, she slowly rose up, Whistle's slackened organ slipping free and their combined juices dripping out of her core. Whistle sat up in time to see Lily down on all fours. The vixen wiggled her ass in a silent invitation. The wolf leaned in and lapped at her slit a few times (her juices dripping messily onto the floor), then gripped her backside and thrust his now-hard length into her.
She cried out at the sudden intrusion and climaxed around his shaft. After a moment, Whistle started slowly pumping his dick into her warm folds while the vixen panted. Gripping her ample bottom, the wolf began thrusting into her. Alison suddenly appeared alongside Lily's rocking form. The raccoon whispered something into her ear, before kissing her again.
The vixen returned the kiss, while the wolf bucked his hips inside her. Whistle smiled to himself and continued- making sure to vary the pace of his thrusts, so as to keep Lily just below the boiling point for as long as possible. He was beginning to realize something...
For all her eccentric behavior and efforts to make herself the center of attention, it was clear that Alison was firmly in control of things. And he also suspected that Lily secretly liked it this way!
The wolf continued moving, thrusting deep inside Lily, making her large breasts rock back and forth as he drove her towards the edge... Alison watched them for a moment, before reaching under her to tweak her nipples. The busty fox suddenly cried out and arched her back. Whistle gasped as he buried his shaft inside her. Lily gave a pleasured hiss as she felt his warm seed spilling into her.
The three of them headed for the couch. The wolf helped the two ladies unfold it into a bed. With this done, Whistled climbed onto the bed and laid down on top of the sheets. Lily and Alison were quick to join him at either side. Spent for the moment, the three drifted off to sleep...
(- To Be Continued... -)
. . . ...o.o.o... . . .
While revising this, I decided that this would work better as a two-part story. Splitting it in half allowed me to vary the pacing, and it gave me more breathing room. I also changed around and expanded upon the sex scenes. I personally think this version is an improvement.
Thing's will wrap up in the second half, and I'll have more to say at that time. But until then, I hope that you guys are enjoying this new (and hopefully improved) version of the story.
-Seres B. North