FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Baron raced down the hallways of the Cafe Plaisir as quick as he could without being a danger to anyone. He held a box in his paws that contained the present he had bought for himself with all the extra cash he'd been making in the last month. He got some glances from some customers in the front lobby when he giggled to himself in glee and ran out of the front admin office with his package and down the staircase to the waiter's bedrooms.

He dodged by a few people, paying them no mind and giggling excitedly to himself the whole time. When he reached his door, he hiked his leg on the wall and balanced the box on it with one arm as he dug out his key and opened the door. The door didn't have time to shut all the way before Baron had the box on his bed, slicing at the tape with one of his claws.

When he finally got the top of the shipping box off, he reached inside and pulled out the pristine, special edition Hypercube gaming system. He held it in front of him, staring in awe at the beautifully designed box. It had no words on it: it was just a deep, dark blue color with glowing white hypercube design on the top.

As beautiful as the box was, Baron had no space to display and preserve it, so his claws went right into getting it open quickly and carefully. Cardboard and plastic went everywhere as he made his way straight to the console inside, pulling it out and pulling the wrapping off of it. He sat it gently down onto the bed and admired it.

It was a fairly large cube, completely see through, with a smaller cube sitting in the middle. The center cube had the sort of texture you would find on a motherboard or some other form of electronics, and instead of green, it was that same deep blue color like on the box. There was the Hypercube's logo set in the top, but it wasn't a button. He knew exactly how it worked, though. He sat it over on his entertainment center, then unwrapped the power cord and HDMI cable before getting it all hooked up. He was dancing in place he was so excited for the next part: he waved his hand over the top of the console, and it turned on.

The cube in the center of the machine lit up with blue LED's, causing the outer, clear shell to glow. He let out an, "Oooooh," sitting and watching the lights pulsing on and off for a moment. Then, his TV turned on by itself thanks to the console, and he was greeted with a simple interface.

Baron dug one of the controllers out of the box and popped a battery pack on, turning it on and grinning a big, silly grin. He set up the console, creating an account for himself and picking his avatar. The main menu of the Hypercube was very pleasing to the eye, and it made him want to scroll around for a bit to get used to it. But, he needed to download his games and get them ready.

He went to the store and opened the "Activate a game through code" system. He went to the email he'd gotten on his phone a few days earlier and entered the codes for all three games he'd previously bought to go with the console. Once he had them unlocked, he let them sit and download and install, which would take no time at all on the Cafe's internet.

Baron got the other controller out and set it on the bed, making sure he had all the trash from the system gathered up and shoved it back into the box. He was almost too excited that he considered waiting until later to do this. But, he knew doing it now would mean less hassle when he was tired, so he took the trash box to the designated trash room down the hallway.

He had been wanting this new system for a few months, but didn't really have the spare cash laying around. But, after only a month of working the bedroom shifts at the Cafe, he had so much more expendable cash than he really knew what to do with in his current living situation. Before, the Cafe's rent and costs took up most of his money, with little left over to save up. But now, paying for rent and other necessities wasn't an issue at all. His bank account was fuller now than it ever had been, maybe total.

He had mixed feelings about his first month working the bedroom shifts at the Cafe Plaisir. In one paw, he was making so much money it almost felt like a dream to him, and he also sometimes got a few cool customers. But, in the other paw... Baron had figured he would eventually get over the feeling of sucking a penis or having someone fuck him in his ass. But he just couldn't, as much as he wanted to. He knew that being bisexual would make his job easier on him, but he couldn't force himself to be bi. He had tried.

When he got back to his room, he found that the first game was already downloaded and installing. He nodded and grabbed his phone. He checked the time: He still had a little bit before his guest would show up, assuming he was on time. He laid back on his bed and scrolled around the menus of the Hypercube, getting all of his settings set up as he liked them. When the final game had finished installing, he checked his phone one more time. His guest would arrive any time now. He opened his favorite pizza delivery place's app and ordered a large bacon pizza for the two of them. When that was going through, Baron nodded. Everything was ready. Now, he just had to wait for...

Baron's ears perked as he heard the rapping on the door. He hurriedly leapt from his bed and made his way to the door, opening it with one quick motion. As expected, Chris stood in the hallway.

"Hey, Chris! Come on in. I just got my Hypercube set up!"

The Wartortle broke into a big happy grin the moment he saw Baron's face. The good news only made him nod in excitement. "Baron, my man! Congrats! Can you show me?"

"Yeah, of course, come on in!" He motioned Chris in, closing the door and locking it behind him. No interruptions were to be had on this night. "I haven't touched the games yet, but I got everything set up and it should be good to go. I also bought some mountain dew and stuff, because video games. Help yourself." He tapped on the door of the fridge as he walked by, eventually leaping and landing on his bed.

Chris followed inside at a much slower, steadier pace, walking through the room with almost reverent awe. "Damn, dude," he murmured. "I've never seen a waiter room done up like this before. Did you get it like this, or what?"

Baron chuckled from his spot on the bed. "I've never heard anyone sound so impressed before with my room. Nah, we get some say in how things are arranged when we move in. The cabinets and stuff were moved around to make the entrance not seem so claustrophobic, if you know what I mean." He grabbed the controller from his bed and scrolled absent-mindedly through the menus.. "How many waiter rooms have you been in, specifically?"

"Uh... two..." Chris stopped in the middle of the room, counting on his claws. "... fffffseven. Yeah. But usually not for more than a minute or so. I just see people's rooms sometimes when I'm told to find them." He waved an arm indistinctly. "But by all means, feel free to imagine each room containing some big strapping Pokémon with a dick the size of both my arms."

Baron contorted his face, blushing slightly. "I uh, think I'll pass on the mental image. So far, I've managed to steer clear of that, and I'd like to keep my brain clean until then."

The Wartortle came up to the bedside, not quite touching it. Despite the TV very clearly having the console ready, his eyes were still on Baron, watching him curiously. "Steer clear of what, exactly?"

Baron looked away from him, avoiding any eye contact. "Dicks the size of both your arms."

Chris held up his left arm straight out to the side, then used his right hand to trace a line up his other arm, across his chest, then out to the right in kind. It left his arms in a T-shape over his torso. He wiggled them up and down a little. "Like, that big," he said, before putting both hands down on the bedside. "So, I'm totally down to play whatever games you wanna play, as long as it's not racing games 'cause I don't want us cutting each other's throats. But I haven't really seen a ton of you since Nina's lesson and the night after. And, uh... I guess what I'm saying is, I hope I didn't piss you off or anything. At any point in all that."

Through Chris's demonstration, Baron found himself chuckling still. As soon as the conversation turned towards that night, the blush on his cheeks grew, but he turned straight to the Wartortle when he worried about making Baron mad. "No, not at all!" He set the controller down on the bed and abandoned setting up one of the couple games he'd gotten. "I promise you didn't do anything wrong. I just..." He sighed. "I didn't come off as being pissed at you, did I? If I did, I'm sorry. I'm not."

"Nah, it's OK, just..." The Wartortle rubbed at the side of his head with one arm, right behind his feathery ear, making his eye squint on that side. "It's like, I know we met in a pretty weird way. And you're totally telegraphing the 'weird' vibes from a million miles away now. And..."

He turned away briefly, looking up at the television set. Then he turned and looked back at Baron over his shoulder.

"Alright, I'm just gonna level with you. First of all, I'm still psyched you invited me here. But like ... I've heard how things've been going with your waiter work. All the stuff you've been doing. And I remember how you were before, during the lesson and all that. I know you like thinking of yourself as a straight dude, which... sure, man, whatever floats your boat. But I can't help but feel I kicked off this whole other thing for you, and now I'm not sure if I'm here as a, 'thank you for inspiring me to get paid so much,' or a, 'making lemons into lemonade because that's all we got,' kinda thing."

Baron was very much looking at Chris, now. The more he heard him talk, the more nervous he was getting. "I..." Baron's brain kicked into overdrive, trying to think of a proper answer. "I uh... Well..."

"Look, I'm sure it's been on your mind too," Chris added.

Baron nodded. "It has. I don't know. It was really strange how we met and all, and I really did think myself straight. I still do, honestly, but honestly you were sort of the crux of what my work life has become since that day." Baron got up both to combat the nervousness, and to grab a drink. He grabbed a pop and opened it, taking a big gulp to give himself a little more time to think.

"That day, during the lunch break, I talked to Nina about some trouble I was going through. Did you hear about why I got into doing bedroom waiting here at the Cafe by any chance?"

The Wartortle shook his head, eyeing Baron skeptically. "No, I had my lunch down in the main bar."

"Well, basically, I had gotten asked to do a bedroom shift for someone before I actually got trained to do bedroom waiting. It's since become an example of a no-no for managers. But anyways, it sort of messed me up for a few days, but the money was so good from that day I decided to try and stick with it." He took another drink, moving back towards the bed. "I talked to Nina at lunch that day, and she said that she figured the reason it might have hurt me so much is because I was feeling lonely. I've... been thinking about that a lot the last few weeks. I had a couple friends, but they've moved on from the Cafe actually just recently. Not to sound desperate, or anything, but you're sort of the closest friend I have here at the Cafe." He was now sitting on the bed, staring at his lap in front of him.

Chris turned away again and put a clawed hand up against his head, right between the eyes. He stood there, silently, for a few seconds, then said, "Mother fuck."

When the Wartortle turned back around, the look on his face was almost brimming with remorse. "Alright, look. It's like ... you're an awesome dude. I'm pretty sure you could make friends with any number of people. So I'm pretty flattered you picked me. Just ... shit, I didn't know any of that. With your background and all that. I never would've picked you in Nina's class if I'd known it'd put you on the spot so bad."

Baron shook his head. "No, it's perfectly fine. Sorry to dump all this stuff on you. I've not really talked it out much, so my brain is just kind of vomiting it out right now. I have thought a lot about that day in training, and I still am quite flattered you picked me out of everyone else." He chuckled a little bit, giving the Wartortle a reassuring smile. The last thing he needed to was to make his hopefully newest and only friend feel bad about something that wasn't his fault.

"Well..." Chris rubbed his chin and mouth pensively, frowning at the bedsheets by Baron's side. Then he nodded. "Alright. Long as we're talking about it, I guess I can't resist asking. Is there a reason why it bothers you so much? Because I've known a lotta straight guys, and ..." He trailed off, waving an arm again.

Another contorted face from Baron and a sip of his drink, "It's just that, even though I said I was straight and stuff, and totally got tricked into that Blaziken, it's like people just didn't believe me, you know? I didn't feel that bad after that first day and night, but people just kept giving me crap over it, I guess. Stuff like that can turn you against something you're not actually against, you know what I mean?"

The Wartortle stared at him blankly for another few seconds. "... What Blaziken?"

Baron facepawed. "... Don't worry about it. It was my very first job on the first day after training." His blush was returning now, and he picked up the controller again and began pretending to distract himself from the conversation.

"Alright." Chris shrugged. Then he turned around quizzically, looking in a full 360-degree circle for something he wasn't finding. "Um... so where do I sit? Next to you on the bed, or what?"

"Wherever you want. The chair is fine, the bed is big enough." He handed Chris the second controller. "We're going to be playing Crimson Condor first. I've been looking forward to this for months. It's actually got a local co-op campaign! Like, who does that in this day and age? It's great."

With the controller still in hand, Chris dragged the chair over to a suitable spot, up by the nightstand. He pulled himself up into it, then sat down with a sigh, examining the controller front and back. "It's been a little while since I played a shooter, so, uh... please bear with me if I suck. But damn, split-screen co-op in a new title, yeah. I know when I'm lucky."

Baron chuckled. "It was the main selling point for me. I miss those days." He started the game up and went through the menus, "Now, question for you Chris. We didn't really uh... talk much, that one night, but how did you come to be at the Cafe? I don't really know much about many of the waiters."

"Hold on, I'm trying to figure out how to turn the controller on. It's this button, right?" Chris held up the controller for Baron to see. He was using his thumb-claw to tap insistently on a button near the center of the device.

He shook his head. "The center one. It doesn't really look like a button, but it is."

Chris peered down at the controller, one eyebrow raised. "That's not a button. Is that a button? Shit." He pressed down on it with the one claw until it started glowing, then relaxed and looked at Baron again. "Can you imagine all the little ten-year-old humans getting this for their birthdays, and they can't figure out how to turn on the controller? And then their parents are like, screw it, and tell them to go catch Pokémon or something."

Baron laughed out loud for real this time, "Yeah, I can see that! It's not terribly obvious. Fun fact, the first generation of these consoles, they had a thing there and it wasn't a button."

While Chris navigated his way through the account creation process, he replied, "Well, to answer your question about me ... my history with Plaisir is pretty simple. I've been a townie here for about three years. Had a job at a retail place. Well, my hours were getting cut, and I'd gotten in the habit of, uh... letting my landlord do me for reduced rent, so I figured I'd just take that a little further and take up work at the Cafe. Pretty much a cinch."

"Huh." Is all Baron said for a moment, watching Chris pick his username and icon on the screen. "Was training your first day here?"

"No, but it was in the first week or so. I'm on the evening swing shift. I still have part-time hours at the grocery place. I'd rather not totally ditch that job, because it is relaxing compared to this, and, uh... I can't make it public that I'm working here. My landlord's wife would start having questions."

"That's pretty lame of them. Does your other boss know you work here?"

"I asked for a recommendation, so I guess. But in general, the less people talk in that network, the better. Whoring myself out is kinda shady business sometimes, but you know what brings us all together -- money." The Wartortle grinned. "And y'know, the weird thing is, I'd totally describe myself as gay, no room for doubt. But I'd still do a girl if the pay were right. I guess everyone's on a... a... a continuum, sorta. Just tapping into that point-one percent straightness so I can tap the lady customers." He glanced at Baron, eyebrows raised. "Wink wink. Nudge nudge. Comparison."

Baron shot his best unimpressed glance back at the blue turtle. "Well, I don't know about gay guys doing girls, but I know from experience, dudes will pay a premium to fuck a straight dude. It's... mostly worth it, I think."

"Y'know, I bet you're getting more business because_you're advertised as straight. Who doesn't wanna fuck a straight guy? Doesn't that just feel more like... ahh, I dunno, some forbidden-fruit thing? There are tons of gay waiters here, but when guys go for them, it's like, oh, great, you're drinking outta the public fountain. Guys going for _straight guy waiters, though -- ooooh, that's the private reserve. On the rocks, that's the good shit. Plus, you get the fun of busting down that wall that's there, 'cause you know half these guys feel kinda weird about going for other guys still."

Baron answered, "That's certainly how I think about it, honestly. And honestly, I can see what they mean: If I had the chance to take two lesbians into a room and do them, I'd plow through the other waiters to do so at this point. It is totally about the forbidden fruit. It just kind of sucks that the forbidden fruit happens to be my ass. I've still not quite warmed up to that feeling just yet..." He shivered, taking another big drink from his pop. "But in all honestly, as much as I wish I could stick to girls, I bought this console off of one night with a couple dudes last week. Just one. I don't even feel bad charging extra, because not once has anyone ever said, 'Extra? Hell no.' I actually think charging extra makes them get their rocks off even harder."

"Business model," Chris murmured, before snorting and shaking his head in amusement. "Hey, whatever keeps the triple-A titles flowing into your room. I'm just gonna have to hang out with you more often. All I've got at home are a couple human roommates who watch reality shows. You're way better."

After a moment, the water-type added, "And here I am, going, 'Hey, everyone! I'm gay! Stick it in me! I'll take any buyers!' and I still gotta really claw for it. I mean, I'll try not to be resentful, but damn, dude. You're gonna be a star here."

Baron snorted, brushing his mane spike out of his face. "Well, I'd give you the success if I could. Do you know how quickly word spread about what happened in our training class? The very next day, I was getting looks and grins. The money is too good to pass down, but I kind of miss just being another face here waiting tables, you know?"

"I was doing sexy kinda stuff from day one, so probably not. But I guess now that we're here..." Chris gesticulated with his controller. "Video game?"

Baron sighed, smiling to Chris with a nod. "Video game." He shut the previous conversation from his mind and started the campaign up.

Before they could get past the difficulty setting, though, Baron's phone rang. He checked it and saw it was the front desk.

"Must be the pizza," he said. "That was quick."

He answered the phone and heard the voice of a male receptionist. There were only a few of those at the Cafe. "Hello, Baron?"

"Yes, this is him," Baron replied. He got up from the bed and started walking that way right away.

"Your pizza is here," he said with an obvious smile in his voice.

"Thank you, I'm on my way!" He opened the door and gave Chris the 'one minute' claw and hurried out the door. In about a minute, he found himself walking up the stairs into the lobby, where he saw the pizza boy standing at one of the desks, ogling at the second Lopunny receptionist. She pretended not to notice.

"Excuse me," Baron said, waving a claw at the pizza boy. Was he even old enough to be in this building? "I'm here for my pizza."

"W-wha? Oh, right. You already paid, so just sign this receipt, please." He handed the receipt, which Baron promptly signed and added a very generous tip and handed back, taking the warm box into his arms.

"Thanks, have a good night!" Baron said, speeding back down the stairs and into the basement of the Cafe. He was back at his bedroom with only about 3 minutes wasted.

Chris was lying on his back on the bed, sprawled out with his head hanging upside-down off the side. He smiled at the sight of Baron in the doorway. "Dinner's served, eh?"

Baron smiled back, grinning widely, "Dinners served! Hope you like bacon." He sat the pizza down the counter and opened the box, revealing a beautiful, large bacon pizza. It was perfect for a night like this.

The Wartortle's eyes drifted towards the giant bacon painting on the wall. "Don't have to worry about you, at least," he said, before rolling onto his feet on the floor and padding over to Baron's side. "Sure, bacon's fine. Can I help? Need me to get drinks, or...?"

"Sure, grab me another Dew from the fridge. I've got some paper plates for the pizza." He grabbed the plates from a cupboard and sat them out.

When he turned back around, Chris was in the middle of pulling two cans out of the fridge, one in either hand. He nudged the door shut with his elbow, then stopped and looked up at the Lycanroc quizzically. "... Why're we using paper plates?"

Baron cocked his head to the side, one of his ears twitching a little, "What do you mean? No need to dirty up a normal plate just for pizza, right?"

"But that's what plates are for," Chris said. His quizzical look was turning into a very puzzled frown. He set the cans down on the countertop, but kept his eyes on Baron.

"Yeah, but like, it's just pizza. It's not like a super fancy meal or anything." His look turned equally puzzled.

The Wartortle opened his mouth silently for a couple seconds, staring at Baron with squinting eyes, then said, "... This is really weird. I never use paper plates at home. But I mean ..." He relaxed a little and shrugged. "Fuck it, dude, it's on your dollar. Let's get some slices and, uh, try not to grease up your controllers after."

Baron squinted back at Chris, giving him a serious look. Towards the end of Chris's sentence, though, he lost it and started to chuckle. "Yeah, no problem. Also, pizza grease on a controller is just breaking it in. That's their natural state." He pulled a couple slices of pizza onto a plate and handed it down to Chris, then got a couple more slices for himself.

He took a bite of his first slice, nodding in acceptance of the pizza's quality. "Bon Appétit~" he said in his worst possible French accent. He kept the joke and terrible accent going as he walked back to the bed, "We are sorry, sir, but we have run out of fine China for your bacon pizza. We hope that you will accept these high quality paper plates in replacement."

"Paper? Bah. Filthy casual. I get my plates made out of the finest papyrus." Chris grabbed his can of Dew off the counter, rinsed off the top in the sink, then sauntered over and sat down on the chair by Baron's side. "The finest... fucking ... vellum parchment. Good mother of Arceus, this pizza smells good."

Then the Wartortle picked up one slice, folding it with his claws, and took a bite. He immediately leaned back and groaned in satisfaction. "Mmmmh. Oh, right. Good. Tastes good too."

"Mmm. I don't know why pepperoni pizza is even a thing, really. Bacon is the ultimate pizza topping. Anything else is just inferior and moot." Baron took another bite of his pizza, then sat the slice down and reached over to pop his can open. He held it down towards Chris, "Cheers, mate."

"Cheers." Chris tapped his own can against Baron's, then pulled open the top and took a deep swig of the contents. He immediately made a face with his tongue way out. "Whoooa, fuck, that's sweet. Damn. Haven't had anything to drink for times like this except shitty light beer in, like, years."

"I've got a little bit of a sweet tooth. It washes the pizza down pretty well, I think." He took another pizza bite, letting out a primal grunt of satisfaction.

In between mouthfuls of his own pizza, Chris said, "Y'know, as far as pepperoni goes, I don't really go for that, but like ..." He paused to take another bite. "... I'm basically the only guy I know to actually like anchovies on pizza. How 'bout that, right? Because they don't have pepperonis in the big blue sea."

Baron nodded, finishing off his slice before taking another drink. "Makes sense, I suppose. I've got another thing I quite like on my pizza, though it's a little... controversial--"

"Heretic!" Chris smacked his non-drink-holding hand on his thigh. Fury blazed in his eyes. But then, just as quickly, he relaxed again and grinned. "Dude, you could have, like, driveway pebbles on your pizza and I wouldn't care. As long as it's on your slice and not mine."

Baron chuckled, picking up his second slice and taking a bite. "You knew that quickly, huh? I always feel like I'm --" he swallowed and took another bite, "-- always fighting people over the whole pineapple on pizza thing, you know?"

"People are too eager to find shit to fight about," the Wartortle muttered.

"Mmm." He laid his pizza down on the bed and got up to grab a paper towel and wipe his paws as well as he could. He brought the roll with him, just in case. He gently wapped the Wartortle on the head with the paper towels before setting them down on the table next to them. "Okay, you ready to start this? I've been excited for months to play this finally, and now I even get someone to play it with."

Chris had only just finished the first of his two slices. The second lay untouched on his plate. He stared at Baron for a couple seconds, then picked it up and started wolfing it down noisily.

"Sorry to rush you. I uh... eat quickly," Baron said, scratching the back of his head. "Comes with the genes."

"You paid for the pizza," Chris said, once the second slice was all gone. He chased it down with a long draft of his fizzy drink. "Want me to put the rest in the fridge?"

"If you're full, sure. I'll probably eat the rest for breakfast or something. Flip the lights off while you're up, too." Baron got settled on the bed, arranging his pillows so he could comfily sit back and watch the screen and grabbing his controller.

The Wartortle nodded, set down his can on the floor, and headed off to do exactly that. There was a long, loud noise of shuffling and shifting items from behind the open fridge door as he moved things around to make room for the pizza box. Eventually, he got it to work, and closed the fridge by leaning his back against the door with a sigh, before moving ahead and turning off the light.

He quietly joined Baron on the bed, moving his can up onto the chair on the way. It took some adjusting for them to both have a spot amid the pillow nest, but soon they were ready to start the game, bellies full and appetites sated.

With everything finally ready, Baron started the game. There was a slow, steady cascade of company logo animations, and then the intro cinematic started. It felt like something straight out of a sci-fi blockbuster movie. A view of the planet Earth, filling the entire upper half of the screen, with nothing but stars in a lower half. The soundtrack was a stark, solemn drumbeat. As seconds passed, a fleet of little gray spaceships started flying into view, all glowing with big white engine trails as they traced a curving orbital path. Then the camera pulled back to reveal that the view was from inside another spaceship, through a long rectangle of reinforced triangle-shaped windows. Two humans in navy-looking uniforms stood on an observation deck, discussing an impending invasion. This was their defending fleet.

Chris shifted around in his spot on the bed. He glanced at Baron, but said nothing. The humans were still talking. The future of Earth was at stake, the enemy was savage and ruthless, they had been betrayed one time too many -- the voice acting sounded expensive. But then another officer down below called out some technobabble about slipspace portals opening, and the scene erupted with red lights and warning sirens. Little white flashes started popping in the distance, outside the window, brighter than the stars in the backdrop.

Then the camera zoomed forward again, straight out the window ... out through space, past the defending fleet ... straight at the attacking ships, which rapidly emerged into view. A new piece of music was fading in, playing on top of the drumbeat, slowly drowning it out. Hard rock music. The ships were fiery and colorful, shaped like swooping creatures of the sky. And the camera was zooming in right on one in the center foreground, a bright red space corvette blasting towards the screen, a beak-like cockpit on the front. The zoom-in ended in front of the cockpit window, where a human pilot in scrappy armor and big goggles was bobbing his head to the now-full-volume music and holding up one hand in the sign of the horns.

The pilot screamed, "YAAA_HOOOOOOOOO!!"_

As the camera cut to an inside view of the cockpit, panning through the grizzled crew members locking and loading weapons while trading snippy banter, Chris looked at Baron again and murmured, "I guess we know which side we're playing as."

"I think I like this side more than the other anyways," he replied.

In the cinematic, the camera switched to back outside in space, as the two fleets began exchanging distant salvos of glittering energy weapons. The attacking fleet was spiraling into a tight wedge formation, taking losses but nevertheless punching straight through towards Earth. Back inside the ship, the crew were preparing for an atmospheric descent. It looked like they were going to land somewhere in eastern Asia. Some sort of headquarters was in a city there, and they had to capture it without just bombarding the city to bits.

And so the red ship pulled down towards the planet below, deploying a honeycomb-like glowing shield on its underside, powering through all the chaos and explosions around it. The rock music continued.

The ride got bumpy, and both Pokémon watched as the ground got closer and closer, a city eventually coming into view. Then, they crashed down into the city, and their ship's cockpits opened up. The screen split as the game entered first-person mode. They were stepping out into a densely fortified city, panicked civilians running and troops in dark gray urban camouflage running up to meet them. On both screens, the player character pulled out a chunky black SMG-looking weapon adorned with glowing blue lights.

"Hoooly shit, we're invading the Earth!" Baron said, the clicks of his controller now filling the room. It turned out that the SMG weapon fired lasers.

"Hey, yeah! Earth is boring without us! Let's do this!" Chris immediately joined Baron in playing the game, although his performance was much more hesitant. He kept stopping at random points, seemingly to figure out (or remember) the controls.

Baron had fewer problems, jumping right into the game like he had played it before. Many of the Earth's soldiers fell to his shots. Before long, he was picking up their much-larger weapons and using those instead.

"This is so awesome! The controls feel so smooth! How you doing over there, Chris?"

"Co-op, huh?" Chris laughed. "I feel like the craziest badass alive!"

Bigger and bigger enemies kept showing up, with more ridiculous weapon types just ripe for the picking up. At some point, Baron found himself duel-wielding a grenade launcher and a beam rifle. He was getting so involved in the craziness of the game that he had almost forgot that Chris was with him.

"This game's pretty tough," Chris said, much more soberly than before. "I think I just died. Or I'm dying. Or something." His character had just run out of health. Now he was sitting and waiting while the camera followed Baron's character instead.

"Oh, shit, one second." Baron made his way to where Chris's body was and revived him. "There we go. In proper co-op shooter style, just giving you a hand up with some encouraging words is enough to make you feel better." They kept on, fighting until they reached a square. The momentum halted, not being able to go any further from this point. Then, from behind them, a huge beam of energy devastated the line of enemy troops. Baron turned his camera to see that a Porygon-Z had fired a hyper beam.

"Woooah." Baron said, looking back to where the troops were. "I almost forgot Pokemon could do that, funnily enough."

"I mean, I fucking can't," Chris said, chuckling lowly.

"Mmm." Baron agreed. They continued on with the game for a while, clearing many city streets of enemy soldiers, occasionally getting support from Pokémon and their human comrades. The mission objectives were guiding them towards a big, monolithic building surrounded by a glowing orange bubble of energy.

They had to fight through several waves of soldiers to three different generators that were powering the energy shield. After the last generator fell, they made their way to the entrance to the building, and a cutscene started.

"Whew, that was freaking crazy," Baron said, leaning back into the bed, setting his controller down on his lap

Chris did the same thing with his own controller, then leaned back and ran his hands over his face. "Think one level's --"

The cutscene turned out to be the introduction of a massive enemy soldier, armored head to toe in a sort of dreadnaught armor. He pulled out a huge sword in one hand and a machine gun in the other.

"Oh shit, it's a boss fight! Get ready!" Baron sat back up and leaned forward.

"Yep," the Wartortle grunted, flipping his controller back into his hands and resuming his work.

The area around the building's entrance was littered with cars and exploded pieces of concrete to use for cover. The boss fight had a pretty simple pattern of waiting until the boss's magazine ran out of shot and he charged forwards with his sword, meaning it was their turn to sit back and unload on him. They watched his health bar drain slowly, but after a few different rounds of cover and kiting action, they found the soldier defeated with the way into the building free.

Another cutscene played, revealing more of the personality of the very charismatic raiding party. After the cutscene and story were over, the game resumed right into the next level, where Baron paused the game and laid back once more into the bed, heaving a sigh like he was the one storming the city.

"Absolutely batshit insane. That was awesome, and not what I was expecting," he commented, staring up at the ceiling in faux-disbelief.

Chris held still for a couple seconds, then slowly put his controller back down and let out a sigh of relief. "Fuck, man. Thank you so much for letting me play this with you. I'm gonna have to come back for more, now."

"Hey dude, no problem. It's nice to have someone else to play games with. If every level takes as long as that one, we'll have several sessions ahead of us for sure -- if you're down, of course." He looked over to Chris and gave him a big smile, before reaching out his fist for a bump.

The Wartortle blinked, then grinned and connected the bump. Then he leaned away and hopped down onto the floor. "Well, tell you what," he said. "I need to pay a little visit down the hall, but I don't have to go anywhere after. Whatever you wanna do."

"Down the hall?"

"I gotta take a piss," Chris said, putting his hands on his hips. "That was a lotta soda." He paused for a moment, then put on a big sneaky smile, wiggling his lower body suggestively. "Unless you wanna drink it yourself ..."

Baron stared at Chris, his jaw hanging open a little and his eyes glaring blankly at him.

The water-type let his arms fall to his sides, tilting his head down and giving Baron a frown. "Oh, for Arceus' sake. I was kidding. I know you're not into that. Lighten up a little, yeah?"

Baron exhaled through his nose and shook his head a little. "See, you joke, Chris, but now I'm going to be scared for the rest of my career here that someone is going to ask me to do that on the job."

"You can still say no," Chris said blankly.

"... And then they pay me 500 bucks to do it," Baron replied equally as blank.

Chris opened his mouth silently. He made a couple halfway faces as he tried to search for words to say. Eventually, he went with: "I'm ... gonna go step out now. And when I get back, maybe we oughtta talk about how big of a whore you wanna be, because fuck, I thought I was bad."

Baron gave him a mixed look as he walked out the door, somewhere between 'I swear to god' and 'Oh fuck, you're right.'

A couple minutes later, the Wartortle stepped back in with a much more visibly relaxed demeanor. He closed the door behind himself and stifled a yawn. In the intervening time, Baron had turned off the console and turned on the lights, so things were largely back to how they'd been at the start of the visit.

"What up," Chris said flatly.

Baron gave Chris a sad puppy face. "I'm not a whore, am I?"

The Wartortle paused, then stepped forward with his hands up, making an exaggerated placating face in return. "Oh, no no, we don't hire whores at Plaisir. We hire waiters. You wait tables here. You get paid for nothing else." Then, just as quickly, he dropped the act and put his hands on his hips like earlier. "Come on, dude, I started working here _specifically_to get paid for doing sex. It's only as shameful as you feel, y'know?"

Baron grimaced and audibly whined. "I mean, you're right, but like... I'm not used to that feeling I guess. Ah hell, I probably just sound like a big complainer, bitching about making so much fucking money doing the same stuff everyone else is."

"I mean, what, you think you're the first person here to feel weird about the line of work?" Chris closed the remaining distance to the bed, then climbed up next to Baron on it. His swirling tail brushed inadvertently on Baron's arm. It was strangely ticklish. "I'm just another waiter, I'm not an advice dispenser. But what I've heard is, you're supposed to set boundaries. Lines you don't cross. And then within those lines, that's where you make your money."

Baron shivered slightly as the tails brushed against him, but ignored it. "Yeah, sorry, I invite you over then bug you with my problems. That's a little uncouth on my part. But like... The more I think about what I wouldn't do, there's usually a money amount that would change my mind. God, I don't even know what I'm going to do with all the money I've been making. I can only buy so many video games."

Chris drummed his claws on the bedsheets for a couple seconds, staring off into space thoughtfully. Then he turned to Baron and asked, "If you don't know how the money's gonna help you, why's it so, like... persuasive, to you?"

"I don't really know, I guess it's just like... I know if I have it, I don't have to worry about much, you know? It's kind of like scores in a video game, I guess. It's not necessarily important, but I think I'm just intrinsically motivated to want to get it, you know?" He looked between Chris and his paws while he spoke, trying to figure out his answer to the question as he spoke.

"Mmm. ... Maybe." The Wartortle scooted back on the bed to sit in the spot he'd been in before, when they'd been playing the game together. "Intrinsically, money isn't worth a damn thing. You might wanna try and remember that. If someone waggles 500 dollars in your face asking you to, y'know, drink his piss -- and I'm assuming it's a guy because of course it would be -- think about how doing that would make you feel, and think about if it's worth it. Because if it really bothers you, and you're gonna be feeling lousy about it later, that's not worth it." He paused, then chuckled. "Look at me, giving wise advice. I let my landlord cheat on his wife with me every month. Don't take my word as gospel."

Baron looked down to the bed the whole time Chris spoke, thinking hard about what he was being told. Eventually, he broke into a small chuckle. "For who you think you are, Chris, you're a good guy," Baron said. He laid a paw on the back of Chris's shell, heaving a sigh. "I think you're right, here, Chris. It's good advice."

"Well... I'm glad." Chris smiled softly up at the Lycanroc. "Now, how about a not-gay friendly kiss?"

With that, he sat up, closed his eyes and puckered his lips around a mirthful grin.

Baron stared at Chris in shock for the upteenth time that night, wrinkling his nose.

...but, then he leaned in and actually gave Chris a quick peck on the lips.

"Ack!" Chris recoiled back onto the bed, arms flailing before he landed in a heap. He stared up at Baron in shock. "... Shit, dude, I didn't think you'd actually do it! Well-practiced, much?"

Baron's ears pinned back, "Sorry! I... I don't know, should I not have?"

But Chris just chuckled, shrugging with both arms up. "Suit yourself. I'm not paying you any money, so..."

Baron was blushing heavily, though it was invisible through fluff. His eyes were glowing just a little bit more than they had been before, though. "It was inviting, was all." He crossed his arms and looked away, nose crumpled up.

"Well... who am I to judge?" The Wartortle sat back up, laying a hand on Baron's upper arm affectionately. It was a soft, warm touch. "Lemme just say right now, I'm not gonna ask you for anything. But at the same time, anything we do in here that you'd consider private -- doesn't have to leave this room. Long as you're happy with it."

The Lycanroc's head was near popping off from the blood rushing to it. He shivered when Chris's claw touched him, but he quickly eased up after a second. "I..." Baron glanced up and looked his friend in the eye, his face one of great embarrassment. He gave Chris a small nod.

"That's the spirit."

---

Baron's eyes popped open. He lay there for a moment, blinking away the sleep. He then stretched out his arms and sat up with a yawn, smiling dumbly at the lovely wake up he had. His leg bumped something, and he looked over to see the very faint outline of Chris next to him in the pale glow of his nightlight. Oh yeah.

He sighed defeatedly through his nose and crawled out of bed, getting a pot of coffee going. He flipped the light on his oven hood on to minimize the disturbance to Chris. Baron pulled a couple eggs and some bacon from the fridge and started to fry up the bacon. He tried his best to keep the noise down with pans and the like, but bacon only fries at one volume.

There was a muffled noise from over by the bed. A moment later, there was a startlingly loud thump as Chris landed face-down on the floor.

"Floor!" Chris exclaimed, like an expletive.

Baron peered over and chuckled under his breath. "Good morning, sunshine. I'm making some breakfast."

The Wartortle rolled onto his side, then sat up with a low groan. "Oh. Well... thanks! Good morning. I didn't bother you in my sleep, did I?"

"I was out cold, and woke up feeling amazing, so don't worry about it. Also, don't worry about; consider it my thanks for... helping me feel a little better about myself." The Lycanroc turned the bacon in his skillet with a fork.

"You're welcome, then." Chris smiled slightly, still dazed by his fall -- or just by being awake for such a short time. He pushed himself laboriously to his feet, then asked, "Can I help?"

"Don't worry about it. It's just a one skillet meal anyways; gotta fry the eggs in bacon grease for the extra flavor." He thought for a second, "Though, you could get some toast ready if you wanted to."

The water-type walked over and peered up at the stovetop, then started looking around at the cabinets below the counters. "Sure. Where do you keep your bread?"

"It's in the cup-... Let me grab it for you." Baron spun around really quick and grabbed the bread from a top shelf in a cupboard behind him, using his little wooden stool he kept to reach up that far. "Here you go. Feel free to use the stool if you need to."

"It's there for a reason," Chris murmured. He carried the stool over to in front of the toaster, then started putting slices in. "So... level with me here. Are you planning on using paper plates for breakfast?"

Baron gave a snort. "Of course not. Real plates, of course."

"... Were you gonna use paper plates if I hadn't asked just now?"

"No, I wasn't! Why would I use paper plates for bacon and eggs?"

"You tell me, why would you use them for pizza?"

Baron sat his fork down to the side, turned to Chris, make a fake bowtie tightening motion, and gave him a stank eye. "Now listen here, you little shit," he said, leaning down and poking his nose right in Chris's face.

"I get it now," Chris said, totally unfazed. His eyes still crossed a little trying to look at Baron's face from so close up. "You use paper plates because you're so lost on what to do with all your money."

With also crossed eyes, Baron gave a slight snarly face, then withdrew. "I've had these paper plates for a long time, I'll have you know." He turned back to the bacon and moved it around a little bit, before taking it out and laying it on some paper towels on a normal plate. "Just because I have money, doesn't mean I'm going to go and blow it on silly things. Now, how do you like your eggs cooked?"

Chris shrugged. "Any way, I guess. Over easy, over medium, whatever. Do you have anything to put on the toast?"

"I prefer mine plain and boring and tasteless, personally, but I guess you can grab the butter and jam from the fridge if you want." Baron cracked a few eggs into the bacon fat in the pan, licking his lips when he heard that sizzling sound. He grabed a spatula and started to spoon some of the grease on top of the yolk.

While Baron worked, Chris went into the fridge and retrieved the jam, which he set on the counter. He turned and gave the Lycanroc an odd look. "I guess you're not in the habit of spreading butter on stuff, then?"

"I typically use it more for cooking, to be honest. There's margarine in there, too, if you want more spreadable stuff." He gave the eggs a quick flip in the skillet, doing his best not to splash grease everywhere. "You can also mic some butter on a plate for a few seconds, and it'll spread better."

Chris considered it for a moment, then shrugged again. A moment later, the toast popped out, ready to eat. "Too late, applying jam now. How's the bacon and eggs coming?"

"I think the eggs are ready, which means we're ready." He pulled some plates from another cabinet, scooped the eggs on the plates, and added the bacon. He handed Chris a plate. "Here you are, good sir. Crafted with love."

"But like the friendly kind," Chris said, raising a claw knowingly. He smiled and put his slices of toast on, already spread with jam. Then he paused and looked around. "Uh... fffffforks. I need a fork."

"Of course." He opened a drawer and handed him a fork. "Also crafted with love. Or at least, that's what the guy at Walmart told me." He went to sit in bed, before he realized, "Oh, yeah, one second." He reached under his bed and grabbed the folding table he kept for company, folding it out and grabbing some cushions from underneath as well. "Here we go, a place to eat." He sat his plate down and sat on the cushion.

Chris took a seat across from him, smiling down at the food. "Do you eat like this every morning? With the bacon and all that? I don't wanna assume anything I shouldn't, just because of the giant painting of bacon on your wall."

"Not every morning, but most mornings, yeah." He took a bite of bacon, a lovely crunch coming from it. "Bacon is my favorite food. I'll eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner on days I just really feel like it. Also, you really like the painting?" His tail wagged behind him. He loved compliments on his painting.

"Sure, it's a really, uh... it's a post-modern figural representation of the ... the innate drive in all things to eat more bacon." The Wartortle began eating immediately after, starting with the eggs. The look on his face was a lot like the one from the dinner the night before. "Mmm. Oh, nice job. Damn, I could get used to this."

"Well, you come over, play my video games with me and eat my food with me, and I'll do this as much as you want." He took a bite of toast and squished his egg with a fork, dipping his toast in the yolk. "The company is really nice."

"I'll try and make a note of it." Chris grinned briefly, then continued to eat in contented silence.

After the two had finished their meal, Baron happy sighed, stretching out a little. "Thanks for coming over, Chris. Again, I really appreciate it. I've been feeling pretty bummed, but this brightened up everything." He took Chris's empty plate and his own to the sink, and rinsed them off. "If you ever want to hang out, you know where to find me."

"Yeah. Well, much as I'd love to stay, I need to check in at home before my work hours at the store. So, thanks again. For all of it."

Baron walked back to Chris and offered another fist bump, which he gladly accepted. "No prob, my dude. Any time. Have a good time at work today!" He gave the Wartortle a big smile.

With that, his new friend left the room, heading out the door and down the corridor outside. Baron moved to quickly finish cleaning up, washing off the plates and washing his skillet out and then putting the cushions and table back. When everything was washed off and put up, he jumped onto his bed and sprawled out, letting out a sigh. He closed his eyes and grinned, a wave of happiness washing over him. He chuckled to himself, flipping over on his belly and burying his face in his pillow. He could smell Chris in it. That would need washing.

But, he felt better than he had in a couple months. After he started working the bedroom shift, he was working harder than he had before, and when he got back to his bedroom, he would usually just sleep. On his days off, he'd typically just watch TV or play games, since his friends he used to hang out with had left the Cafe. But, now he could hang out with Chris, who he found himself liking a lot. He was a nice guy, and he had already helped Baron feel better about himself. Baron blushed a little, though, when he remembered the previous night.

Chris was making him feel more comfortable about his sexuality, but Baron still found it hard to imagine himself as anything but straight. But, as much as he could try to lie to himself, he really did enjoy his more personal time with Chris. It was like just having a different sort of fun, but with his friend. He never really thought he'd have a friend with benefits, but here he was with a turtle friend to eat pizza with, play video games with, and sleep with after all of that.

Even though Baron was becoming more comfortable messing around with guys, he still much prefered girls. But now, he'd have to decide himself if it was dishonest or not to still sell himself as straight when customers came in. Him being straight is what was making him all of his money; in the last month, he had 3 female customers. All the rest -- and he was in a bedroom every day he worked -- were male.

He wasn't exactly sure if it mattered if he were _really_straight, as long as the customers believed it. That could be something to think about later, though. He sat up in bed and stacked his pillows to sit up with in bed, then turned his new game console on. He had some super cars to drive.