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Acting Civilized

Deb moved through the underbrush with ease. By now the fox had plenty of practice. Things had been awkward when the change had first occurred. That felt like a far off dream now. She could remember once being a civilized animal instead of a feral. She knew that she was a squirrel not a fox... But it was hard to even picture what she had looked like.

The first week had been the worse. She had come with someone else... She was pretty sure he was a mouse now. He bolted leaving her alone the second the change occurred. Stuck by herself in the middle of the woods. She might have been a wild animal in body but she lacked instinct or experience. Finding fresh water had at least been easy enough. She knew where a lake was. Food on the other hand... That was a lot harder. Prey animals were fast! She couldn't get close before they'd bolt off at full speed. She had to subsist on twigs and berries at first. That wasn't enough though. Her body needed protein.

Hunting was just... really hard. Eventually when Deb got really desperate she decided she would settle for bird eggs. It turned out, that foxes were pretty good jumpers. She was able to get up into a tree easily enough, slowly approached the next... and then came tumbling out of the tree a few minutes later when the mama bird decided to have an opinion about Deb taking her eggs.

Her first meal of meat had been scavenged, something left behind another predator that already had her fill. Starving she devoured it without hesitation. When you haven't had meat in almost a weak and your body is desperate you'll take what you can meat.

With new strength from her meal she was ready to hunt again. This time she didn't run out the first time she saw an animal. She instead crouched low to the ground and approached it at a glacial speed. It was a rabbit. Its ears twitched listening for signs of nature. Deb made deliberate moments as slow as possible. She set one paw down at a time and approached it. The rabbit decided it was time to flee. It was too late. Deb burst out from the bushes and captured her first proper meal.

From there it got easier. The longer Deb stayed a fox the stronger her hunting instincts seemed to become. She still retained her civilized level intellect though. She didn't have a lot of reasons to think complicated thoughts these days. Yet, when she needed it she was capable of complex problem solving. She could think and plan ahead. It wasn't long before she had completely adapted to her new lifestyle as a wild fox.

When it first happened, all she could think about was finding a way to change back. Now? Now she couldn't ever imagine going back. Her existence was a simple one. But... She was happy. Her civilized life... It had never actually brought her happiness. She worked for The Company. It was demanding, stressful and left very little time for personal affairs. The one time she tried to take time out and meet a guy he had turned into a mouse and ran off. No... This was better. It was simple, but it was peaceful.

She had even found a mate. With him she had produced six healthy fox kits. They were now her everything. They were so tiny when they were first born. Just little balls of fluff. She hadn't known true unconditional love until she brought them into this world. There was nothing better in her life than just watching them explore and experience the world for the first time. By now they were getting old enough to move about on their own. The little kits were proving to be quite mischievous! They often playfully bit at her ears or attempted to wrestle her tail. She often feigned weakness and let the little kits think that they had overpowered her. As they got older their appetite increased. They were beyond milk now and needed physical food. That was why Deb was out hunting today. She needed enough meat to bring back and feed all six kits.

She continued through the underbrush expertly approaching her prey. It was another rabbit, this one rather plump. It'd make a good dinner for her kits. She slowly approached it. Its ears didn't even twitch. It had no idea that she was near. Soon it would be all over...

Suddenly the rabbit bolted before Deb was in pouncing range. Deb froze. She was certain that the rabbit hadn't been alert to her presence. Was there something else nearby? It could be another predator who was more clumsy and had alerted the rabbit. If it was smaller than Deb, it might serve as prey instead. If it was bigger it would be time to make herself scarce. She remained absolutely frozen in place. Her ears were straight up so that she could hear every sound around her. Her nose was pointed to the air to catch any scents around her.

A familiar scent... Something she had forgotten. It made her hesitate very briefly. That hesitation sealed her fate.

There was movement. Deb attempted to break into a sprint. Before she could get further though something caught her around the neck. She snarled and tried to pull away from it but that only made it tighter. She couldn't back out of it without risk of choking herself. She tried to go forward instead but the restraint still held her in place.

"That's enough Debra," a calm emotionless voice spoke out. "I think it's time you stop fighting who you're supposed to be." There were... Things... No, people. Deb's brain reminded her. Humans or maybe civilized animals. She couldn't be sure. She couldn't sense their scent. In a moment they were on her though. They wore dark colored suits that covered every inch of their body. Nothing was left visible. Some kind of hazard suits? Deb wasn't sure.

One of them that had appeared was holding a long pole with a length of wire at the end of it. That wire was what was currently wrapped around Deb's neck preventing her from escape. She tried to lunge for that one, hoping to make him drop the pole. Instead he lifted it up, she was forced to choke for a moment and then go limp.

"Get her into a cage," the emotionless voice spoke. "We'll work on her once we're back in civilization."

As these words Deb felt the fight return in her. They were trying to take her away! She snarled, and tried to pull her way out of the wire around her neck. She attempted to cock her head and try to slip out of it. However the one with the pole was ready. He pulled the pole back to pull the wire against her every time she made a movement. She snarled defiantly, letting up, waiting for him to lower the pole then tried to back away... Only to suddenly feel her paws touch a smooth surface.

Suddenly the wire came loose from Deb's neck. It was too late though. The cage slammed down trapping her within a metal box. She thrashed, howled and clawed at the case furious but it was no use. She had to get back to her babies! They needed her! But she couldn't escape. Eventually she ran out of energy collapsing inside the cage.

"Don't worry," the emotionless voice spoke again. "You'll feel much better once you're back where you belong." With that Deb felt the cage move as it was lifted up. Someone was taking her from the forest. Someone was taking her from her home.

It was hard to process how much time passed from here. Deb could only assume the cage had been loaded into a truck and she was taken back to Switch City. There were tiny holes in the side of the cage, but Deb couldn't make out much except for how much light there was. Eventually whatever vehicle her cage was in stopped, she found it lifted up against and carried somewhere else. Eventually the cage stopped moving. Deb prepared herself to make a run for it soon as she saw it open. She didn't get the chance. She felt some kind of prick along the base of her spine... and then everything became a blur.

When Deb woke up she was now wearing a collar. A leash was attached to the end of it that ran off somewhere. She was a little woozy and having a hard time interpreting what was going on. She was in a dimly lit room... and she could hear someone talking.

"Our initial hypothesis appears to be correct," a female voice spoke. "The camp side possesses an arcane field that causes transmogrification based upon perception. The curse should be easy enough to break. She just needs to perceive herself correctly again."

"I see," the emotionless voice from the forest spoke. "We will begin conditioning immediately. In the meantime, arrange for all records of those campgrounds to be removed from existing database. Then prepare a memory charm for this evening's news."

"Of course sir," the female voice responded.

Deb could hear someone approaching at this point. The level of light suddenly increased in the room rousing her a bit more. She could now see the leash on her was metal chain that was attached to the wall. The room's decorum left it feeling dated. Pastel wallpaper which the color had started to fade from, old office furniture, and cardboard boxes covered in dust. The only thing new as a single office chair sitting a short distance away from Deb. Slowly a human male walked into the room. A standard middle aged office drone in a suit and tie. The only noteworthy thing was a general haggardness to his appearance.

"Good afternoon Debra," the man spoke. He was the source of the emotionless voice. "Welcome back to society. You've had some strange experiences. But I assure you, after conditioning this will all seem like... just an unpleasant dream. An experience at the back of your mind that you'll never have to recall again."

Deb lunged for the man. He had taken her from her home. He had taken her from her kits. She hated everything about him. Yet, as she tried to attack the leash went taunt and she came up exactly six inches short of being able to reach him.

"That is quite undignified of you," the man spoke completely unmoved by Deb's viciousness. "You're not a feral animal Debra. You shouldn't be acting like this. You belong back here with us. There is still work to be done."

Deb growled and backed away from the man. She backed up against the wall trying to get as far away from him as possible.

"Is this how you want others to see you Debra?" The man asked. "As a snarling beast? This isn't who you are Debra. You know that. You cannot fight who you are."

Debra continued to snarl. She pawed at the chain on the ground and looked around for anyway she might escape. But of course, there was none.

"People are worried about you Debra," The man continued to drone on. "Not just here at The Company. Your friends don't know where you are. Your parents don't know where you disappeared to. Think of them... They're quite old and frail now aren't they? Do you think their hearts could withstand losing you forever?"

Debra paused and stopped snarling. She... She didn't want this. Yet her parents... But... Her kits needed her too! Her mate! She couldn't leave them... But at the same time she had forgotten about the people she used to know... But...

"Do you feel conflict?" The man asked. "Ah... You think yourself a mother now. Those are not real babies. They are just animals. They will forget you. Your real family will not."

But... Her kits. They were real! They may not be as intelligent as civilized animals... But what she had with her mate... With her babies. They were hers. They were her everything. They were real. Yet... Her real family. No, real wasn't the right word. Both her families were real. She... She was a mother now. She couldn't abandon her babies. They needed her! Yet... Her civilized family needed her too. But... No she can't leave her babies.

"Conflict is building in you," the man said. "You're having trouble realizing what's important. Do not worry. We're here to help you. We'll make everything okay again."

With that the man left. Deb was left alone in the room. Food and water were brought to her, but no one came to speak to her again until the next day. The man returned and he went through the same process trying to change her back. This went on for several days before one day started the conversation differently.

"There's a guest here to see you today. You should remember him quite well. He already completed his conditioning. He wants to help you." As the man spoke he stood up and moved to the door. He opened it and spoke quietly to someone on the other side. "Bring her back. You know there isn't a choice here. Try to make it quick. Some of us want to go home on time today." With that the man left and the person he spoke to entered.

It was a griffin. One Deb knew. With tubby build and stunted wings though he hardly seemed to fit the image of a proper griffin. Last time Deb had seen him though he had been a mouse. It was... At the campground. He had freaked out and then the change occurred. Yet, he was back to normal now.

"Deb..." Nick tried to figure out how to start. "Um... I... guess I had a growth spurt since last time we met!" He gave a nervous laugh at his attempt at humor.

"Grrrr," Deb growled at him and puffed up her fur.

"Deb I'm sorry," Nick said. He seemed exceptionally unsure of himself. Even more than usual. "I... I didn't know that would happen there and... I've been through it before... Not that exact one but! I mean! Well... Do you remember that time a griffin cub went streaking through the office that you thought was my nephew? That was me... But I wasn't in my right mind... You're not in your right mind."

Deb growled louder at this.

"I mean! That's not what I mean!" Nick hesitated trying to figure out how to express your thoughts. "I know... It seems easier to stay like that... But we can't. They... Won't let us. You have to remember what you're supposed to be like... You'll be in here until they do."

Deb responded by turning her back to Nick and laying down, making it evident she had no intention of listening to him.

"It's not just that!" Nick tried to think of a way to reach her. He wasn't doing a very good job. "Deb you... You can't just leave everyone behind. I know it feels like it... And I know from experience how hard it is to let go. But... After it's over, it's like a dream. You can barely remember it. You have to wake up from it."

No.

It was the absolute wrong thing to say. Her mate. Her babies. They weren't a dream. Even if everyone insisted they were just animals, that they weren't her real family; they were real to her. She would never give them up. They needed her. She needed them.

"Deb..." Nick pleaded. "Come on... People miss you... I... I miss you."

Deb twitched slightly at this. Nick missed her? He was... He was a person she went on a date out largely out of pity. She thought... maybe she would give the nice timid guy at the office a chance for once. Then he freaked out on her for no reason... Then the whole fox and mouse thing happened. It had hardly made for an ideal outing.

No... She preferred her mate over him.

"Deb, please," Neck begged. "You have to come back to us... Even if you left now... The part of you that's you is still in your head. You'll never truly be happy or complete out there. You're too intelligent. It's nice at first... but eventually you will be alone with your thoughts... And at that point... You'll remember everyone you left behind."

Deb's ears perked up slightly listening to Nick's words... Yet she couldn't bring herself to care. Even if he was right, her babies needed her. She wouldn't abandon him. They were hers. Hers to protest. Hers to raise.

"... Is... Is it..." Nick's voice dropped to a whisper. "Is is because of your kits?"

Deb slowly raised her head and looked at Nick.

"They... They mentioned it when they brought you in," Nick said. His voice was barely above a whisper as he broke. "Is... Is that why you want to stay a fox?"

Deb couldn't talk. However, she could still face Nick with a stone hard glare. She would get back to her babies. No one could take her from them. They were her joy, her everything. Maybe there were people who needed the other her... But they needed her now. They made her happy. Fulfilled. They gave her something The Company never could.

"We could... go find them..." Nick spoke very softly, barely more audible than a whisper.

"... Yip?" It was the first sound Deb made that wasn't some form of snarling. She looked at Nick, something akin to hope in her eyes.

"Deb... You were nice... and um invited me out and... I guess tried to help me..." Nick said. "And I don't care if it's what The Company wants. I want to help you." Nick seemed to find his resolve. "You don't have to give them up to change back. Even if you change back you can see them again."

Deb began to shake She quivered conflicting thoughts running through her. The real her? This was the real her now! This was what, who she wanted to be. She wanted to stay a fox. She wanted to stay in the wilds. She wanted to raise her kits. Her babies. But...

But...

But...

There were people who remembered her. Who didn't think the fox her was real. They wanted her back. But it wasn't what she wanted. But her babies. She had to protect her babies. They weren't old enough to survive on their own. If she couldn't get back then...

Deb began to paw furiously at the ground as if desperate to escape. She yowled and howled at the injustice of the entire situation. What she wanted? What she wanted... Did it even matter? But... Her babies. She had to keep them safe. Was there only one way?

Deb let out a scream of pain. It wasn't the scream of a wild animal. It was the scream of a woman who had just suffered a great loss. Deb began to grow in size. Her fur returned to its original brown color. She slowly stood up on two legs. Her ears rounded out as her forepaws returned to hands. She was a civilized squirrel again.

Deb stared down at her now humanoid hands staring at them in shock. She flexed them slightly as if unsure they were real. Then remembering the collar she quickly brought her hands up to her neck to remove the collar and threw it against the wall. Nick watched all of this awkward, aware of the fact that she was naked in front of him. He quickly removed his outer jacket and draped it over her shoulders to allow her some modesty.

Deb flinched as the jacket was put on her. She turned and looked back at Nick. She thought about who she was and who she wanted to be. She thought about what she had just been through. Some of the thoughts began to fade. It was like waking from a dream. Slowly the days of hunting and exploring the forest began to disappear.

She clung desperately to one though. One thought she refused to let go. There was one thing, that no matter what happened she would remember. She focused on her kits. Her babies. She would never forget them. But... they wouldn't even recognize her now. Deb thought about what she had just lost... As the memories did so did the sense of peace that had come from them.

"They're not lost," Nick said as he slowly placed a hand on her shoulder. Deb looked up at him, tears forming in her eyes. She leaned against him and began to sob. Nick embraced her in a hug and spoke one last thing. "I promise, I'll get you to them."

"Nick," Deb spoke for the first time in what must have been months. "Thank you."

Nick embraced Deb tighter. As he did her thoughts drifted back to her mate and her cub. She felt the tears run down her cheek as she tried to conciliate who she was and who she had been.

End