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Natural Instincts

I sat on the bench aware of how cold it was in the school's lab. Part of that was the fact that my clothes were currently sitting in a neat folded pile next to me. Currently I was dressed in little more than a hospital gown. It was for the best. After the experiment began they weren't going to fit anyway and it was best not to risk their destruction. Still, I felt a little self conscious and exposed knowing that my roommate was standing just a couple feet away and would be watching every part of this.

"You ready for this Shawn?" Max asked as he looked over at me. He had just finished filling a syringe with the serum that made up an entire semester of my work. "Seems a bit drastic just to get a grade."

"I know what I'm doing," I said. "I mean I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't actually want it." This was true. Still... There was a world of difference between saying you wanted something impossible and actually going through with it.

"Okay, if you're sure," Max moved over to me while he held the syringe. "Just... you know this is going to mess with your mind a little bit, right?"

"I'll still be me," I explained. "I just... Might have certain new instincts, but... It's okay. I'm certain I have enough willpower to deal with any urges that come up." I said while I held out my arm. "Besides, trying to deal with those urges is essential to my experiment. I'll be keeping a journal to see just how much influence an altered body has over the mind. Now go ahead and apply it."

"Alright..." Max set somewhat reluctantly. He took my arm and injected the syringe into me.

The changes began immediately. I started to shrink into my gown as my body traveled backwards through time. My frame became scrawnier and thinner as soon I reentered my teenage years, and then shrunk beyond that getting younger. My age wasn't the only thing that was changing though. Fur began to grow in. Orange fur with black stripes over most of my body. Solid white over my chest and stomach. It covered me completely from head to toe. Speaking of toes, my feet began to shift and stretch out into large animalistic paws. My nails changed into sharp claws hidden within sheaths on my new paws. A long sleek striped tail slowly grew out behind me. Once it was fully grown I could move it as easily as my arm. My arms themselves were changing too. Like my feet my hands had transformed into paws with retractable claws. Unfortunately this came with a complete lack of opposable thumbs. That... Might prove to be problematic in the future.

The changes continued as they reached my head. My face stretched out as it formed a muzzle. Whiskers sprouted near the tip of it. My ears became large and circular, moving up to the top of my head. Immediately I noticed an improvement in my sense of hearing.

"Mroawrl roawr!" I gave a shout as the changes finished. By this point I had shrunken completely into the hospital gown. I flailed around wildly with my new paws until it fell off of me leaving my changed body exposed to the world. In age, I was only about five years old now. I was smaller than most human five-year-olds though. I was closer in body shape to that of a tiger cub. As I slowly stood up on top of the bench I found that I could still balance on two legs. But it didn't seem like it would be much harder to stand on four. When I did that I could likely be mistaken for a normal tiger. I did at this point just look like a baby tiger that had learned to walk around on its hind legs.

"Oh my gosh," Shawn said, staring down at me. "You're adorable."

"Am not!" I hissed and thrashed my new tail. It was hard to focus on what he was saying though. I had so many new sensations right now it was difficult to process it all at once. I spun around in place trying to look at my tail, only to lose my balance and fall off the bench. I flailed about a bit as I landed flat on my back on the floor.

"Not the most graceful for a feline, huh?" Max asked. "Don't cats traditionally land on their feet?"

"Quiet you!" I shouted back at him.

"Heh, you're acting like a real child," Max grinned. "Why did you make yourself so young?"

"Ugh!" This comment made me slow down. That was right; this form might influence my behavior. I reminded myself I needed to focus on who I was. Not a child, not an animal. "The professor thought it would be safer," I explained. "Just... In case it turned out to be harder to control... Certain instincts than expected."

"So we only have an unruly cub instead of a vicious tiger," Max said nodding.

"I'm not an unruly cub!" I huffed. "I mean... Sorry. I am... Still adapting to this. I'll need to make sure I keep up on my journal entries. I'll start it after we get back to the dorm..." I walked towards the exit of the lab then looked up at the door. The knob was slightly out of my reach. "Uhhhhhh, I might need some help getting home."

"Just a second," Max smirked as he slowly opened the door for me.

When we got back to the dorm I wanted to write my first journal entry. I was still myself in mind. That was a relief. I couldn't deny... That I had certain urges though. I wanted to record all this but found it difficult. Without thumbs I couldn't properly hold a pen to write. I tried pressing the pen between my two paws to work with it, but the writing proved to be completely illegible. More frustrated, I tried gripping the pen in my teeth to write. This... Was well... Not a great idea and only made things worse. Finally frustrated I pawed frantically at the journal and the pen trying to get a decent grip. I never really grabbed the pen... But I did manage to rip the journal in half with my claws.

"I think I'm going to type my report," I muttered as I looked at the sheets of paper hanging off my claws.

"You're already tearing stuff up?" Max asked. "Do I need to get a squirt bottle?"

"Of course not!" I huffed.

"Fine, fine," Max shrugged. "By the way, I'm assuming your paws are a bit too clumsy to make dinner tonight, so I'm stuck cooking?"

"Ah," I managed to look somewhat sheepish at this remark.

"I figured that..." Then Max seemed somewhat hesitant. "So um... You're not exactly big enough to sit in a chair properly. Should... I put your food in a bowl and set it on the floor?"

"What!?" I said. "I'm not your pet! I'm not going to eat off the floor!"

"Okay! Just trying to be helpful," Max said. "I guess I'll see if I can find some textbooks to stack in the chair or something."

Even sitting up high on the books proved to be not enough -- my arms weren't long enough to actually reach the table. Even if they were, I couldn't handle a fork with my paws. After attempting to reach the table a few times, I finally just jumped over to the table and crouched down on it at all fours. Unable to use silverware, I just crouched over my food and nibbled directly off the plate. I saw Max start to open his mouth, but I shot him a glare and he quickly closed it.

"So... you still sleeping in your bed tonight?" Max asked.

"Yes, why wouldn't I?" I responded.

"Just checking..." Max said. "Wasn't sure if I should pick up a cat bed."

"Please stop trying to treat me like your pet!" I protested.

"It's not that! I just thought it might be more comfortable for you," Max said. "Given how you look. Whatever, I'm going to head to bed. See you in the morning."

At least going to bed didn't prove to be difficult. It may have been gigantic but tigers are great at jumping! I leaped up into the bed landing with a little pounce! I smiled smugly to myself, and immediately curled up in a ball with my tail over my paws prepared to sleep.

Wait... No that's not right.

Why was I sleeping curled up in a ball like this? I forced myself back up and crawled under the covers instead while laying on my back... This was... Really uncomfortable. The blanket added an unneeded layer of warm over my fur! And... I just didn't feel safe lying on my back. It was hard to explain. I just didn't like having my belly exposed. I tried turning onto my side to sleep that way. It was still uncomfortable. I sighed, and did my best to bear through it and sleep anyway.

Thankfully... Sleep eventually came.

In the morning I woke up feeling refreshed. It was wonderful. I yawned, and stretched out bumping into something. I immediately felt what I bumped into move... and then a hand suddenly reached down and began to scratch me behind the ears. It felt absolutely heavenly. I chuffed happily and...

And...

I opened my eyes. I realized I was laying in my roommate's bed curled up with my back against his side. He was the one currently petting me.

"What do you think you're doing mrowl!?" I gave a shout and jumped out of the bed. Wait did I just mrowl?

"Whoa! Why are you so upset!?" Max asked. "You're the one who jumped into my bed in the middle of the night and curled up!"

Had I done that? I didn't remember... I suppose... If I had woken up in the middle of the night I might have done it on accident without paying attention. If I was half-asleep it was possible I just relied on instincts at the time.

Ugh... That meant I was the one at fault here.

"My bed was just cold mrowl!" I tried to cover for it. Wait did I mrowl again? I was pretty sure I did. What was wrong with me?

"You're acting like a spoiled house cat," Max groaned as he slowly got out of bed.

"I'm not a house cat! I'm a tiger!" I protested. Wait was I protesting the right thing? Probably. "Now come on mrowl! I'm hungry! Get up! I need breakfast!"

"Fix it yourself," Max groaned as he rolled over away from me.

"But I can't!" I whined and pushed on him with my paws. "Come on, I'm starving!" As I continued to pester him Max did his best to ignore me. I'm proud to say I wore him down and he finally rose from the bed. He very begrudgingly heated up a plate of bacon before setting it down on the floor where I could reach it. I devoured the food hungrily, then looked up at him with pleading eyes for more.

"Seriously?" Max asked.

"I'm a growing boy!" It was technically true now.

"Ugh... fine," Max sighed and heated up a second plate of food that he set down on the floor. It was only when I finished that I realized I was eating out of a dish off the ground like a common pet. I was so hungry I hadn't even thought about it... Considering how eating at the table had gone the night before though... Maybe it was for the best. I'm sure Max didn't appreciate me getting my paws all over the table; and it's not as if I could reach the food if I sat in a chair. I resigned myself to having most of my future meals like this... But I wasn't going to acknowledge it out loud.

"So what are we doing today?" I asked excitedly, as I had finally had my fill. "I kind of was hoping we could go to the forest... I just, want to go run around there... For reasons."

"I was planning on going to class."

Ah, class. That was right. This was for my final project, but that didn't mean I could start skipping class. I'd have to go as well. Sitting in that lecture hall though... It was hard enough to pay attention as an adult human. This... Might actually prove to be painful.

"Think anyone would mind if I brought a toy to class or something?" I asked.

"Probably not... But what kind of toy were you thinking about?"

"Oh I don't know..." I considered the question thinking about what I wanted. "Just something I could chew on or tear up would be fine."

"A chew toy? Really?"

"Yeah what's wrong-" Then I realized what I was asking for. "I mean! It's just... You know! It's harder to keep these instincts at bay if I bottle them up! It's like having a um! A fidget spinner! Yeah you know! Chew toys are fidget spinners for tiger cubs." I was pretty sure that logic checked out.

"Is that so?" Max said with a cheeky grin I didn't approve of. "Well I'll see what I can find lying around."

As it would turn out, there wasn't a whole lot laying around that he could use. Neither one of us owning a pet, we didn't actually own any cat toys that he could use. In the end, he wound up getting a couple of socks out of my drawers and rolling them up. He argued that it wasn't as if I needed them for anything else. I suppose that was correct. He then carried me over one shoulder to the lecture hall. I would have argued... But truthfully it was kind of nice.

I was aware of the stares we got as we went. My experiment was not completely unknown throughout the school. In fact, there were a few of us who were going through similar experiments. I suspect many of our fellow students had heard of it, but not actually seen the results. I tried not to notice the extra attention. Still... So many sets of eyes on me. It made me uneasy.

I was thankful when we arrived in the lecture hall. Max dropped me into a seat next to his while he got out his notebook to take notes. I couldn't really write notes myself anymore... I'm sure Max would let me look over his though! Still... I should probably make sure I pay extra attention to the lecture since I can't write anything down.

This was made difficult by the fact our professor has an exceptionally dry voice. He began to drone on something about genetics and previous blind experiments. I found myself exceptionally restless listening. I needed something to help me focus. I shoved my head into Max's bag and pulled out the balled up sock he prepared. Just tearing at this a little bit would give me something to do with my paws. I'd just be a bit less restless so I could pay attention.

I swiped at the socks and tore at the fabric with my claws. Oh... Oh my! That was... Quite an enjoyable sensation! I bit at the tip of one sock and tore it off. I know it sounds strange. I'm sure to anyone who doesn't have fangs or claws it does! But! It... It's hard to explain! There is just some kind of joy to be found in slowly tearing something apart with your own claws. The feeling of the fabric beneath your toes as it slowly gives way. It was absolutely mesmerizing.

I began to tear more fiercely at the fabric. I rolled onto my back in the chair and gripped the balled up socks with my hind paws. With it held there I savagely attacked it with both my forepaws and my teeth. I let out a squeak of delight as I managed to rip the entire thing in two! I may have just been a human but I was a little beast! That work was impressive! I continued to claw and bite at the pieces while chuffing intently at my work.

"Oh my gosh he's adorable," I heard a female voice speak up. "Can I pet him?"

"I don't see why not," I heard Max respond. "He's friendly enough."

I was still in a battle ecstasy from my encounter with the socks. I was confused and disoriented when I suddenly found myself lifted into the air by one of by female classmates. She held me with one arm under my paws and the other she began to rub at my ears. It felt incredible. I had never felt anything so good in my life! It was amazing it was too good I! I! I didn't know how to process it and then.

"OW!" The student shouted. "He bit me!" It was true... But I mean it wasn't a real bite! She had come in while I was playing! And it was just a play bite! An innocent little play bite! It's not as if I hurt her or even broke her skin.

"I think he just got a little overstimulated," Max tried to persuade the girl as he took me from her. "Probably needs to calm down a bit."

Overstimulated!? Me! She shouldn't be picking tigers up in the middle of an epic battle if she doesn't want to play! This was her fault not-

Not-

What am I doing?

I went limp in Max's grip as realization set in. Class was over. I had spent the entire period going nuts on that sock and missed the entire lecture. I had then bitted someone! Why? Because I was being an ornery cat! I had let my animal side overtake me completely! I felt my cheeks flush. I was thankful my fur made it impossible for them to see I was blushing. This was humiliating. I was supposed to be fighting this instincts. That was the entire purpose of the experiment -- to show they could be overcome! Yet... I had happily and eagerly surrendered to them today.

Uggggh... there was no way I was going to live this down. Maybe I could convince everyone it was some other tiger cub mutant experiment that had been that frisky that day.

I was completely silent when Max carried me out of the lecture hall and back to the dorm. He was talking to me in a lecturing tone. I couldn't be bothered to pay attention. My shame at my slip of behavior was just too much.

And yet... And yet...

I couldn't deny that it simply felt right. Completely giving in like that had produced a sensation of absolute ecstasy. But... I couldn't just act like that forever? It would be unacceptable? Right?

I was still wallowing in self-pity when we got back at the dorm. Max had sat me down on the couch and said something... I still wasn't paying attention. However after he spoke he suddenly turned and left me in the dorm alone.

What? Why!?

I ran to the door and began to scratch at it. Why was I being left home alone? Where was he going? Was he coming back? What was I supposed to do? I began to yowl at the door, and tried to squeeze my paws underneath it. It was no use. I had no way to open the door and Max had already left. There was no telling where he had went!

Was it because I had bit the girl? Was I a bad pet... person? I whimpered slightly and curled up on the couch. Unable to do anything else I eventually fell asleep wondering what I had done wrong.

I awoke hours later when I heard the sound of the door unlocking. First my ears twitched, verifying what they heard. Then I leaped from the couch as I realized that Max was back. I ran to the door on all fours and began to paw at it furiously wishing he'd get through the door faster.

"Shawn, I'm back!" Max said as he came through the door. He was carrying multiple plastic bags with him. I couldn't see what was inside.

"OH MY GOSH YOU'RE BACK!" I shouted as I threw myself against his legs. "I thought you had left forever! And I didn't know what to do and I was so lonely without you! Why did you leave me!?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Max sat the bags down, then bent down and patted me on the head. "What got into you? I told you I was just going to the store!"

"You... You did?" I asked. I didn't remember this.

"I told you, I thought after today that maybe we could use some supplies for your new living situation." As Max spoke he reached into a bag and pulled out what appeared to be a feather on a stick.

"What is that for?" I asked. Then paused as he lowered the feather and touched the tip of it to my nose. Oh my... My mind was blown! I flailed at the feather with my forepaws before flopping onto my back with a laugh.

"I picked up a few other toys for you too," Max said. "Thought it might be best you have plenty of things to bite that wouldn't get you in trouble." As he spoke my ears flattened remembering the incident earlier today. I didn't have much time to spend on self-pity though. He suddenly tossed a stuffed mouse directly over my head. I jumped to my feet and ran after it! I pounced the stuffed mouse and began to tear at it with my claws.

It felt so good.

"Having fun little guy?" Max asked as I played.

"Mroooowl!" Why wasn't I using my words? It didn't matter!

"I also picked you up some cat food. I wasn't sure what to get... So got a wild diet... Now I know you might object... But I'm not sure your current digestive system should be handling things like bacon in the morning." As he spoke he produced a silver bowl from the plastic bags. Then came a small bag of food he poured into the bowl before he sat it down next to me.

"Mrrrr?" I gave him a quizzical look. Did he expect me to eat food from a pet store? I bet it was disgusting! I sniffed at the food. Okay... It didn't smell that bad. But I'm sure it tasted funny! I nibbled at a few small pieces of it and...

Oh! It... Wasn't bad! And I hadn't eaten since breakfast! I began to hungrily devour the contents of the entire bowl. A tiger's gotta eat after all.

"Good I was worried you might be mad about that..." Max said. "And that means you're less likely to be mad about this..." As Max spoke he reached into the bag and produced one last thing. He suddenly reached down and grabbed me then fastened something around my neck.

It took me a moment to realize what it was. It was a collar! He had put a collar on me!

"Now I know this might make you feel a little uncomfortable!" Max said sensing my discomfort. "But you need to think about what would happen if you got lost outside. This way if someone founds you they would know to bring you back here. It's got your name, my name, my phone number, and our dorm address on the tag." I growled at this. I didn't like wearing a collar. "Don't be like that! It's for the best!" He reached down and began to stroke me along my back.

He was... He was making me his pet! He knew I was a human! Yet this stuff he had bought! His intent was unmistakable! No I wasn't a pet! I wasn't a pet!

And yet... I chuffed happily as he continued to pet me. It felt so good. I wanted to spend all my time with Max. I wanted to sit in his lap! Curl up in his bed at night! I wanted him to tease me with the feather again! I wanted to run and hunt! And show him how good of a hunter I was with that mouse toy!

What was wrong with me!? These urges... They weren't mine! They were this body's! I had to remember that! I had to maintain who I was! But... I... But I...

It felt so nice... Maybe... Maybe I could pretend just for a little bit... Just to get it out of my system.

Just for the night...

The next morning I awoke curled up in Max's bed. It wasn't a surprise. I remembered jumping up there with him last night. He was being lazy trying to sleep in today. Well, he wasn't going to have that.

"MROOOOWL!" I gave a shout and pushed at him with his paws. "I'm hungry! Feed me feed me feed me!"

"Not now Shawn," Max whined as he tried to ignore me. He should have known it was futile.

"Now now now now!" I said as I continued to paw at him.

"FINE!" Max shouted as he sat up causing me to slide off the bed. He stomped away from his bed and quickly filled up my bowl with crunchy food.

"Thaaaaank you!" I threw myself against his legs before I dropped to al fours to eat this food. It was delicious. Salmon flavored! My absolute favorite!

With me fed, Max sat down on the couch, intending to go back to being lazy. I jumped up onto the couch with him before moving to sit into his lap. He mostly ignored me while he turned on the TV. Annoyed by that, I lightly bit at his wrist.

"Ow stop that!" Max cried.

"Petting time," I replied.

"You don't have to bite me!" Max whined some more but he began to pet me between the ears. It was great. At least until he started to move his fingers a little too fast and close to the back of my neck. I gave him a quick bite on the wrist to correct him. "What was that for!?"

"You were petting me wrong!"

"There's no wrong way to pet you!" He protested.

"There is! And the bitings shall continue until I have been petted properly."

"You are a testy little thing!" Max whined, but he began to pet me properly. I chuffed happily and lay down resting my forepaws on his knees.

"I'm going to have to go to class later," Max said eventually. "And I have to talk to the professor. I am coming home. Do not freak out today, okay?"

"Why would I freak out?" I asked.

"I got up out of bed to use the bathroom last night and you got so antsy you shredded the curtains!" Max chided.

"The door was closed! " I protested. "I didn't know if you were actually in there or if you had left!"

"I shouted at you to stop yowling!" Max responded.

"That could have been anyone!" I said! It was unfair for him to get angry about these things! He never considered how I felt being left alone.

"Just don't destroy any more curtains today, please," he said.

"Fine, I promise," I said.

And I kept my promise while he was at class that day! I may have savaged a pillow though. But who hasn't done that? He couldn't get mad over that, right?

Well... Turns out he kind of was. But we were both getting used to our new arrangement and living together. Today was the first day I felt like we were really getting a good routine going! Max seemed to be a slow learner... But he was my human and I would teach him as we went along!

Still... I couldn't help but feel if something was off... There was something nibbling at the back of my mind... As if something wasn't supposed to be this way. Something about an experiment. Whatever the problem was, it wasn't something I could gnaw on so wasn't my concern. I was happy.

Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months. Everything was as it should be.

Max left me in the dorm when he went to classes most days. I was starting to get used to it. I had at least taken to only savaging small things like my mouse toys when he was gone. One happy day he did decide to take me with him! But then it turned out to be to talk to some boring old guy.

He kept going on about a blind experiment.

"Shawn was one of several people we gave the same serum to" he had said. I vaguely remembered something like that. It was so long ago. I used to be... Something? Who knew, who could focus on that.

"I remember," Max spoke to the boring old man. "I injected him with it. But it affected him more than he thought it would. He seems to be entirely animal mentally now." Well why wouldn't I be? I was a tiger! I was a fierce hunter! And I would bite him later if he dared say otherwise!

"That is interesting," the boring old man said. "Because we already knew the serum couldn't affect people mentally."

"What!?" Max seemed surprised by this. I didn't even understand it.

"The serum has been used several times in the past," the boring old man said. "There are no mental side effects. But for the purpose of this experiment we told some of the student volunteers there might be. Others we didn't give any information."

"So what does that mean?" Max asked him while looking at me. Why did he seem so concerned?

"It means that any 'instincts' are entirely of his own creation," the boring old man said. "We suspected that if they thought the serum was affecting people mentally it might cause them to lose some of their inhibitions. It was hypothesized they might engage in behavior they believed was inappropriate, but would do it anyway because they could blame it on their animal instincts."

"So... He's still just him?" Max asked. That was a weird question. Of course I was me! Who else would I be?

"I guess that might make things a bit awkward between you two," the boring old man said. "I'll give you a minute to talk this over." With that the boring old man left us in the office alone.

"Did you hear all that?" Max asked with a voice of concern as he looked down at me.

"Mrowl?" I asked in return as I stared up at him. Why was he being so weird? I didn't understand humans.

"You're not a cat mentally!" Max said. "And yet I've been treating you like a pet..."

"And?" I managed to say. I knew the human language. I remembered I used to speak it more often. These days I mostly communicated by biting though. It was more efficient.

Max looked down at me as if unsure how to respond to that. Well, if he seemed unsure I knew how to cheer him up! I threw myself against his legs then leaped up into his lap to settle down. This seemed to help him reach some kind of decision.

"Nevermind, forget about it," he said. "It's not important. We should get back to the dorm..." He then paused as he thought about that. "Ah but I suppose the semester is ending, we'll be going home soon. I probably better call my parents and let them know I'm bringing home a new pet."

Oh that silly human. Calling me his pet. When was he going to learn? He was my human. Still, home sounded nice. I didn't like this boring office or that boring old man. I chuffed happily as Max picked me up and gave me a hug. He forgot to pet my ears during the hug though so I had no choice but to bite him.

"Geez, geez alright!" Max said. "You accept nothing less than perfection huh?" He asked as he began to pet my ears. "You really are a feisty little cat."