Gortoz 'A Ran - Ch 5 - Our little secret...

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#6 of Gortoz 'A Ran


Mikaela had a difficult life. I saw it whenever I was spending the night over at Sarah's place... I saw the loneliness in her eyes while no one else did. Ever since the night I came to her room, she started to talk to me whenever we were alone together. People always used her... And it wouldn't be any different in the future. Something so beautiful like her mustn't be misused... There's no excuse to abuse her love for any reason whatsoever... But that's one of the consequences she chose for to bare. She chose to be misused for some reason or another, only to satisfy others... But still... It was a huge burden for her to be lonely... Mikaela opened my eyes the night I comforted her... She let me in on her life and told me things about herself she never said to anyone, not even to Sarah or any of her siblings. People left her once they didn't need her anymore... Talking to Mikaela made me realize that Mikaela and I weren't really any different... It's kinda strange to realize that despite the big age difference between the two of us, Mikaela still took me serious and considered me as a friend... And I trusted her... So I told her about my parents and my little brother, who died during the civil war... Whenever I told her something, she saw that I had difficulty to speak up my mind, which often caused me to cry... So Mikaela did what she always did to anyone whenever they felt sad... Just providing a shoulder to cry on... Providing an ear to hear what you have to say... An arm to embrace you... It seemed like a small gesture, but it meant the most to me. I couldn't talk about it with Simon and Catherine while I didn't really know why...

Love can be interpreted in so many different ways. Two people with two different backgrounds share their story, which creates a strong emotional bond. But I wasn't aware of it back when I was just twelve years old... I didn't realize what I was doing to her, unintentionally. I didn't see how she portrayed me... She always said that I was a beautiful, innocent little cub... And that something so beautiful like me should be protected from anyone and anything that tried to harm me... And at some point, I thought that I was...

She always told me how pretty I was... And if you hear that long enough, you start to believe that you are. The affection Mikaela showed towards me only became more each time I saw her while I was oblivious to her true intentions...

'All set, hun?'

'Yeah! I got everything!'

'You got your toothbrush too?'

'I got it! I have to go, Mikaela is waiting!'

'Wait, wait, you got a smudge on you're cheek.'

'I'm not a cub anymore, Catherine!'

'To me, you always will be. Now hold still.'

Catherine wiped the small stain of Bolognese sauce off my muzzle... We had spaghetti for dinner and well... I was hungry... Hehehe... I looked outside and saw Mikaela standing at the doorway, waiting patiently for me to go. The moment I grabbed my little backpack filled with my pajama's, toothbrush, toothpaste and all that, I wanted to make my way to the door, but Catherine gave me a big firm hug and a big smooch on my cheek first...

'Have fun tonight, alright sweetie?'

'I will!'

'See you tomorrow!'

'Bye!'

Mikaela smiled at me and Catherine and we said our goodbyes as Catherine stood in the doorway, looking at us how we made our way to Mikaela's car. Most of the time, whenever we had a sleepover, Mikaela picked me up with the car, so it wasn't any different this time. All Mikaela did was smiling and even when we got inside of her car, she kept smiling at me for a moment. It caused me to stare right back at her with a smile on my face... 'What...?'

'Nothing...'

Mikaela started the engine of the car, and we waved at Catherine as we drove off. The volume of the radio was low and seeing the streetlights reflect on the windows of the car had a bit of a hypnotic effect on me while we were driving... We've been driving for a while and I got snapped out of it by Mikaela... 'Sarah won't be with us tonight...'

'What, why?'

'Sarah, Kevin and Jason are spending the weekend over at my grandmother's.'

'Oh?'

'Yeah, they got a family reunion or something...'

'Shouldn't you be there as well...?'

'Naah... It's not really my thing... And besides, we got the whole place to ourselves now.'

'Oh...'

'You sound disappointed... I thought you knew?'

'Well, no, I didn't...'

'Trust me; it'll be a lot of fun with just the two of us...'

She was right... It was a lot of fun... The moment we entered her house, and placed my stuff upstairs, we immediately ran down the stairs to pillage the fridge, stuffing ourselves with snacks and junk-food and shit. After that, we watched a movie and laughed our asses off because of the slap-stick humor... Hehehehe... She puts two pieces of popcorn in her nose and pulled a retarded face... The chunks of popcorn were flying across the room after I saw her face like that... We weren't really interested in watching the movie anymore, seeing as we were throwing popcorn at each other, shortly followed by whatever it was we got our hands on. Pillows were flying through the air, and we made a big , big mess of her place... She didn't really care, seeing as she told me she would clean up the next morning... So we had a huge pillow fight and kept smacking each other while we were laughing out loud... The fun didn't last very long, because one of the neighbors rang the doorbell and asked if we could quiet down... Then I noticed it was already past midnight... So instead, we sat on the couch and started talking instead for a while...

But after a while, we were starting to feel tired... So we went upstairs to her room and I flopped down on her bed, watching TV for a bit... Mikaela was cuddling me and caressing my hair as she gave me tender little kisses on my cheeks... 'Did I ever tell you that you look absolutely adorable...?'

'Hm-mm...'

'I bet the guys are drooling all over you...'

'No, not really... They think I'm weird...'

'Oh...? How so...?'

'I don't play with dolls and stuff... They say I'm not a girl at all because I'm practicing Tae Kwon Do and stuff...'

'But you're a beautiful little cub... As long as you know...'

'Heh...'

'Do you have a boyfriend?'

'Nope...'

'Surely there must be someone you really like...'

'Well... There's a boy I really like...'

'Aaaaaaaah... Now we're getting somewhere... Hihi... Is he a good kisser...?'

'No, not like that... I'm not in love with him... But we play a lot and he always makes me laugh...'

'Aww... Isn't that how it always starts... What's his name...?'

'Blain... He's a black panther and I've known him ever since I've been here... And... We're practicing Tae Kwon Do together...'

Mikaela cuddled me again and gave me tender little kisses on my cheek again... And I loved it... I turned around to face her and rubbed my muzzle against hers... It's something I never did to Catherine or Simon... But it just went automatically whenever I was with her... It's a feline's way of showing affection... And I think Mikaela knew that... She gently kissed me on my cheeks again while her fingers were caressing through my long silky black hair... She kept rubbing over and over on the same spot and I loved the feeling of it... Especially when she scratched behind my ear... Mikaela gently pressed her lips against mine... But I didn't thought it was weird... She always did whenever we were alone... And besides, I did the same to Catherine and Simon... Mikaela stopped at some point and looked at me... 'Would you like to take a nice hot bath before we get to bed...?'

'Uh... Can I...?'

'Of course... We got the place to ourselves, remember...?'

'Okay... Sure... I'd love to...'

It's something I always did whenever I was spending the night over at Sarah's place... Taking a hot bath before going to bed with lots of bubbles... They've got a humongous bathtub... It could easily fit two people in it... But I never took a bath with anyone else besides Catherine... So I thought it could be fun... It's like swimming, only naked... Mikaela kept smiling as she got up from her bed, stood in front of the mirror and undressed herself... I saw how she took off her top and jeans, and paused for a moment when she was standing there in her underwear... I got up but hesitated for a while as she took off her underwear... The moment she noticed I was hesitating, she walked towards me... Seeing her naked kneeled in front of me was... Strange, to say the least... 'Don't be so shy, sweetie... We're just two girls among each other...'

She smiled at me as I smiled back at her rather nervously... But then she helped me by taking my top off... Slowly unbuttoned my jeans... Gently lifted my right leg and then my left leg to remove them... Mikaela caressed my entire legs with her hands, starting at my ankles slowly making her way up to my waist... Gently pulled my pink panties with hearts imprinted on them down and helped me to remove them... Once I stood naked in front of her, she had a satisfied smile on her face... 'See, that wasn't so hard, was it...?'

'No...'

'You look absolutely gorgeous...' she whispered quietly...

'Heh...'

'C'mon...'

Mikaela took my hand as we made our way to the bathroom... She filled up the bathtub while I sat on the toilette seat, waiting for the bathtub to fill up. Mikaela got out a couple of bottles of shower-gel, and opened them one by one in front of my nose... 'Which one...?'

'Uh...'

'Eucalyptus Mint, Black Chamomile or Botanic Garden...?'

'Euca... Eucalipa...'

'Eucaluptus?'

'Yeah! That one smells pretty!'

She smiled at me and let a good amount of shower-gel down the bathtub. The bathroom filled with the distinctive eucalyptus aroma while we still waited for the bathtub to fill up. Mikaela sat on the edge of the bathroom counter while I kept staring at her breasts... Like I said, I thought it was kinda strange to see her naked... And yet... The fact I wasn't wearing any clothes as well made me feel a bit uncomfortable, but Mikaela kept saying that I look so gorgeous... So the uncomfortable feeling went away quickly... Once the bathtub was filled up with hot water, she got in first... Mikaela lets out a deep, long satisfied sigh as she slowly made herself comfortable in the bathtub... And the moment I got in, I lifted one leg up to feel the water with my toes... But... Doing so made me spread my legs right in front of her nose without realizing it... And I could've sworn she stared between my legs for a moment... But nonetheless, I carefully let myself in. I hugged Mikaela as she puts her arms around my back while I rested my chin on her shoulders... Mikaela closed her eyes and let out another deep satisfied sigh... She had a weak smile on her face while she was staring in blank space for a moment...

'This is where it all happened when I was still with him...' she said quietly...

'Who...?'

'My boyfriend...'

'Oh...?'

'Hmm-mm... He knew how to please a girl... But I guess that's all over now...'

'Why'd you ever broken up with him...?'

'I didn't... I loved him a lot... He's the one who broke up with me... He said that I was clinging on to him and that I was being bossy and obsessive... But being with you here right now... Makes me realize I'm better of without him...'

'Did you kiss him a lot...?'

'We did much more than that, sweetie...'

Mikaela knew I was always curious about everything and my desire to have an answer to any question that I had. Once she stopped talking, my curiosity got sparked by her silence... "So what exactly did you do...?" And she knew... I saw how she was smiling... 'What else did you do...?' No response at first... She kept staring in blank space until she broke the silence...

'Do you know how it works...?'

'What do you mean...?'

'Why there are boys and girls...? How little cubs are born...?'

'Well, not... Really...'

'Hehe... It's very simple actually... When a boy and a girl are in love with each other... They sometimes love each other so much that they want to be inside of each other... It makes them feel warm and tingly inside... It feels good... It feels right... And then... Seeds come out of the boy's penis... They get inside the girl and nine months later, a little cub is born...'

'Uh...'

She smiled at me after she explained it to me in a nutshell, knowing I didn't fully get it... So she lifted me up a bit and made me sit on the edge of the bathtub with my legs spread... 'A boy has a penis... We have vagina's... And sometimes... Sometimes a penis gets hard and stiff... He needs to make you feel good... And when you want it, he sticks it right there between you're legs... Right... Here...'

She gently caressed her index finger up and down over my pink little slit... And she was right... It did feel tingly... And even though her action startled me, I couldn't oppress the urge to satisfy my curiosity... Mikaela quickly removed her hand... And moments later, I let myself down in the bathtub again... 'But... Doesn't that hurt...? I-I mean... When... When a boy does that...?'

'It might hurt a bit when you're doing it for the first time which is why you need to know for certain... You shouldn't be forced to it... Because it can only be given once...'

'It sounds disgusting, really...'

'It's not... Trust me... It's far from disgusting...'

'S-So how does it feel like...?'

'I can't describe it... It feels different for everyone... But I can tell you it feels really good... Hehe...'

'Oh...'

Mikaela clenched her arms around me even tighter... She closed her eyes for a while and it stayed silent... The moment she opened her eyes again, her voice changed from a sweet tone, to a serious gentle whisper... 'I want you to realize something, Ceylan... You're young, and you might not understand it yet but... All the reason for you to know now... We're females... Boys need to treat us with respect and with care because we're their source of pleasure... We're the source of their fantasies... We can make it happen... But we have the power to deny them and they know we do... They need to pleasure us to pleasure themselves... But there are exceptions... Sometimes you think you're in control of something... Of someone... Thinking your doing the right thing to make his fantasies come to life... But love can make you blind and oblivious to someone's true intentions... And it happened to me a lot... They hurt my feelings... Made me think I'm worthless even though I gave them everything... You'd understand when you're older... But having sex with someone is the greatest gift you could possibly give...'

'Why...?'

'Because there's nothing wrong with showing "affection" to those you care for the most... And I care a lot about you...'

I felt how she reached out for my hand and held on to it... She guided my hands to her inner thigh, and gently made me caress her between her legs... 'You'd never hurt my feelings, would you...?'

'N-No... Of course not...'

'And I'd never hurt you... You know that...'

'I-I-I, uh...'

'Ssssh... It's okay...'

She lets out another satisfied sigh as she lets go of my hand... When I stopped rubbing her, she moved her hand down and helped herself with my hand again... Mikaela caressed the back of my head while she kept whispering that I was such a good little girl... She pressed her lips against mine and gently licked my lips... I didn't know what was happening... I didn't know what to think of it...

It didn't take long for her to touch me between my legs as well... Her quiet sighing echoed throughout the bathroom as the minutes passed by... And it kinda scared me... Not only because of her sighing... But because of what I was starting to feel as well... And I didn't know how to describe it... It felt strange and yet... I didn't know what to make of it... And every time Mikaela had her eyes open and looked at me, she had this beautiful smile on her face... Her sighing turned into quiet little moans, as she used her own hands to gently twist her nipples... I had a hunch what might've caused her ecstasy... And every time I stopped touching her, she begged me to continue... At some point, she sits on the edge of the bathtub, and showed me that penises aren't the only thing that can get inside of it, like she told me... Fingers make a great substitute instead... So she took my little hand and spread her legs right in front of my nose... And it looked nothing like mine... All I saw whenever I was staring between my own legs was just a little pink slit... But hers... She told me to gently caress the opening with the tip of my finger and to rub her clitoris with my thumb... I didn't know what a clitoris was, so she explained that it's that little thing that looked like a pin button on top... So I did... Slowly... After a while, she asked me to insert my fingers in her... Remembering what she said about doing it for the first, that it could hurt a bit, I gently did... I thought she was moaning in pain... But she uttered that she's being pleased... Very much so... So when did the pain part come...? Maybe I was the one about to experience the pain, seeing as it was my first time... But the pain never came... I thought my fingers would hurt, as if whatever it was that was inside there must've been spiky and sharp... But it was very soft and warm inside... Her moans became louder by the minute when she told me to go in and out while she kept looking at how I was going in and out with my fingers... And then all of a sudden, she let out a loud moan... Some whitish, thick fluid was dripping down between her legs and I could see that she was trembling... Mikaela slowly let herself down in the bathtub, holding me close... The moment I placed my head on her chest, I could hear her heart beating fast... She kept panting and caressing my hair and whispered to me that she loved me so much... I never thought that something like this could make her feel so good... When I wanted to touch her again between her legs, she smiled and uttered that she was still feeling sensitive... She said she had to catch her breath again...

When the water started to feel cold, we got out of the bathtub and dried ourselves off... And it all happened in total silence while she kept smiling at me... Mikaela got on her knees, and placed a towel behind my back as she gently kissed me on the lips... And then she took my hand and we walked back to her room... I started to nose around in my backpack for my underwear and my pajama's, but Mikaela wasn't getting dressed... She stood behind me, placed her hands on my shoulders and moved towards the large mirror on the wall... 'You don't have to hide it... Is it because you're ashamed of it...?'

'Kinda...'

'You shouldn't be... You never should... No need to hide ourselves for who we really are...'

'Okay...'

'C'mon, I'll brush your hair.'

Mikaela got a brush out of her drawer and smiled at me... So... I sat on the edge of her bed while she got behind me... And she started to brush my hair... It stayed quiet for a while, and I noticed us in the mirror... A naked girl and a naked woman not related to each other with a big age difference... But I didn't see how it would connect... Or why... I saw how she looked at my expression in the mirror, as if she was reading my mind... 'Why so serious all of a sudden, sweetie...? Is something wrong...?'

'No...'

'Did I make you feel uncomfortable ...?'

'I don't know...'

'That wasn't my intention... I just thought we could have some fun, like we always do...'

'I know...'

'Maybe it just went a little too fast for you to understand... You're young and inexperienced and I can understand that it must've scared you a little... All the more reason to talk about it...'

'I guess...'

'Do you like to masturbate...?'

'Masturbate...?'

'Yeah...?'

'What's that...?'

'What we just did... Except you're doing it to yourself whenever you're alone, thinking of someone special...'

'Well, I uh...'

'You can tell me... I won't tell anyone...'

'Blain is my friend...'

'Is he that special someone you think of whenever you're alone...?'

'Yeah...'

'How does he make you feel...?'

'He makes me laugh... And... We always have a lot of fun together...'

'Hmm... I bet you do... But we have fun too, right...?'

'Yeah... Yeah, we do...'

'What does he have that I don't...?'

'You're older than me...'

'So...? You're younger than me... But does it really matter...?'

She stayed patient... Never changed that sweet comforting tone of her voice... But I had no answer that question... I didn't know what to say or to do... Her logic seemed undeniable to me without having an answer to her question. 'You see, Ceylan... People always had a bit of a funny view on this thing called love... It's something you should always express to the people you care for the most... Most people don't do that anymore, which explains all those broken marriages... I saw it falling apart in front of my very eyes... And it's something I don't want anyone to experience... But it's always been a taboo to show you're love to someone younger than yourself... Especially my kind of love... Brothers, sisters... Relatives... Anyone... It doesn't matter, which is why you have to keep it a secret from anyone else...'

'Why...?'

'Because people don't see the love we share for each other... And they'd hate me for it if they would find out, because I'm the oldest and should know better...'

'Oh...'

'So don't tell anyone we're in love... Not even you're parents... They wouldn't understand our reasons...'

It stayed for a while as I thought things over... It seemed to make more sense the longer I was thinking about her words... 'Don't be ashamed...'

'I've always wondered what it's like to be in love... Catherine always tells me stories about princesses who get rescued by a prince and how they fall in love with each other...'

'And now you know what's like to be in love...'

'You really think so...?'

'I've seen it so many times... I know you are... It's not something to be ashamed off...'

'Heh...'

'Remember now... This is our little secret...' she said quietly with a smile...

I nodded quickly to confirm that I would never tell anyone... To me, it felt as if I took a vow that's never meant to be broken... Mikaela smiled afterwards and stopped brushing my hair... She gently pressed her lips against mine and caressed my upper arms... Then she moved away... The moment I looked behind, I received a pillow in my face and heard how Mikaela was giggling... So a pillow fight started not long after that while we were laughing and giggling for no apparent reason... Once she was on top of me, she looked me in the eyes for a moment... Kissed my lips... And started to kiss me all over my body... Going with her tongue over my nipples down to my stomach... Gently pushed my legs apart and slowly made her way down... And I guess I liked what she did... Not because it felt good, but because she "told" me to like it...

Something was different about it the second time she did it... I thought I finally understood why she was doing it. She was in love with me. And her words of wisdom became guidelines... She knew the answer to everything... But even though I still had so many questions, not everything was answered that night...