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Ever since that day, Randy and his friends stopped bullying us. In fact, a lot of kids in the neighborhood left us alone, so we could do whatever we wanted. Blain and I became more confident about ourselves while we were always minding our own business and Simon always told me that I could fight if someone hit me. But... Beating the shit out of Randy... I know I shouldn't have thought it but it felt so good... But it made me think... I've always been "peculiar" ever since I got here... I talked to my parents who weren't there and everyone thought I was talking to myself... Not being able to sleep at night... Seeing things in the dark, and being terrified for no reason... The feeling that I was suffocating... And then that sudden burst of aggression... That's just not who I was... Simon and Catherine started to see a connection. They associated everything with things I experienced during the war. They always knew... But never knew what really happened seeing as I rarely talked to them about it. So they took me to a psychologist one day... I wasn't saying anything at first... But the truth slowly came to light...

I received psychological help. But I always had the feeling that it never worked for me. Blain was the only "cure" for me... Whenever I was with him, it made me forget about everything. I didn't have a sleepless night whenever we were having a sleepover together. He always tried his best to make me laugh, which was usually the case... And I needed him... He became the air I was breathing... The ground I walked on... The rock to build on... I looked up to him... And I couldn't imagine what to do without him. So I wanted him close and that he would never leave me. Knowing that I'm able to defend myself made me feel confident about protecting him from everyone who wanted to hurt him...

Blain came up with the idea of doing martial arts one day, mainly to protect himself whenever someone was bullying him again. At first, I wasn't taking him seriously. Once he came up with an idea, it was very difficult for anyone to talk him out of it. I thought he was joking, but noticed that he was seriously thinking about it to practice martial arts. Tae Kwon Do, to be more specific... And at some point, Tae Kwon Do was the only thing he could talk about. Blain showed me pictures in magazines, and told me how awesome it would be. So Blain signed up and had a few lessons until he convinced me to watch. So I did and was pretty impressed by what I was seeing. Adults kicking the shit out of each other... To see Blain wearing a bathrobe, kicking and yelling looked like fun... He sure enjoyed it. And after a long, long time nagging and whining Catherine and Simon's ears off, I was allowed to take a trial lesson... So I did... And I fell in love with it while I didn't really know why. To Blain, it was the only thing in the world worth living for. And I got dragged down by his enthusiasm. So after the nagging and the whining for a trial lesson, Simo n and Catherine agreed... Blain and I were training together ever since... It involved a lot of discipline, determination and motivation... But in return, I got more self-esteem by heightening my physical endurance and mental state of mind... I felt liberated whenever we had a lesson... Blain didn't take it that seriously... He'd rather pretend to be a ninja or something but I didn't... To me, it was dead serious... To me, it felt as if it became a source to vent things I couldn't talk about. Things I didn't want to talk about...

Four years passed by like a dream... Each and every day, the bond that Blain and I shared became closer... But at some point, you'll reach an age where you notice certain things of the opposite sex... And I've always been a very curious little cub... Asking questions that I wasn't supposed to ask at that age... And I remember that all too well... Hihi...

'Good morning, hun!' Catherine said one Saturday morning when I came downstairs for breakfast. And I was a bit taken a back by that... She's always cheerful, but that morning, she seemed to be a little too cheerful... I mumbled "good morning", and she made me breakfast while she was humming... And it kinda scared me... She sat down across the table with a huge smile on her face while she was looking at me, sipping her coffee every now and then...

'Catherine...?'

'Yes?'

'Did Simon hurt you last night...?'

'No, dear, why would he?'

'Well... I heard a couple of thuds... And... You going like "ow, ow, ow"...'

'Pfffffffrt!!'

All of a sudden, she spat out her coffee and had a few nasty coughs... She smiled nervously at me and took the empty cup next to my plate...

'More tea, dear...?'

It wasn't the first time I heard that... It happened very rarely at night... And seeing I had sleepless nights... Hehehe... Still... No one answered my question... Not even Simon... He always said I was too young to understand whenever I asked him. So when do you reach the right age to understand? I turned to Blain to ask him. Maybe he would know the answer to that question of what they were doing... And one afternoon, while we were in his tree-house, I told him about it...

'My sister does that too when her boyfriend is in her room.'

'Really?'

'Yeah!'

'Was it at night?'

'Sometimes... I think their hurting each other.'

'Why?'

'I don't know! But I always see them together again. I don't want to be with someone who keeps hurting me.'

'Yeah...'

'I knocked quietly on her bedroom door once, and they both said they were coming, but no one opened the door.'

'Strange...'

'Yeah, it is!'

We kept on debating for several hours... But we never found the answers to our question that afternoon. We could only speculate for an answer to a question that seemed quite innocent and normal when you're at the age of twelve. But the more we talked about it, the more curious we got... We needed an answer to satisfy our curiosity... And with the way things were going, like, everyone being so mysterious about it, and not answering our questions, the answer wasn't in sight... Until someone managed to explain it in a way I understood...

Everything changed when I went to Ravensgate junior high. And ever since the first day I got there, I immediately started to make friends. Way different then how it used to be. And the friends I made only grew in numbers as the months passed by. One of those friends was called Sarah. A raccoon girl, only a year older than me. And it didn't take long before she became my best friend, right next to Blain. Sarah's very wealthy... They owned a huuuuge house with a game room, a swimming pool, a Jacuzzi, a sauna, and a lot more... I often went to her house after school and we always had a lot of fun. I met her three siblings as well. Mikaela, who's Sarah's oldest sister... Jason, whose four years younger then Mikaela... And Kevin, four years younger then Jason. So Mikaela was 23 years old, Jason was 19, Kevin was 15 and Sarah was 13 at the time. Their parents were executives of some really big corporation, which explained their wealth. They had everything they ever wanted, but their parents were never home. In all those years I've been at their home, I've only seen them twice... But Mikaela is an adult... She would know best... Of course, I haven't forgotten about Blain. Blain became friends quickly with Sarah once I introduced him to her, and he still told me that he was getting teased for playing with girls... But nonetheless, it was just teasing, and not bullying. They never said anything to him whenever I was around... But despite that, everything was just fine... And the reason why I'm telling you all this is because they all played a huge role in my life...

I always thought that Mikaela was a little peculiar... Very sweet and caring towards her siblings, but a little peculiar. And I didn't really know what made her peculiar. She was always there whenever I came to their house with Sarah, and Mikaela always watched me for some reason or another. But it didn't take long before she started to join us in whatever we were doing. Either swimming, or playing Nintendo, watching movies and all that... Mikaela started to tread me different for some reason... She always hugged me and paid a lot of attention to me... And it made me feel special. At some point, she even kissed me on my cheeks. But then again, she always was very affectionate and I did the same to her. I didn't think it was any different by kissing Catherine or Simon on the cheeks. So I wasn't really alerted by that...

But as the months passed by, I noticed the way she showed her affection started to take different shapes... Caressing my butt... Kissing me on the lips and all that... But I wasn't really noticing anything. I just thought that it was normal, and it didn't really make me feel uncomfortable. No one ever showed so much affection to me; so instead, it only made me feel more special. We always had pillow fights, or we were tickling each other, laughing our asses off... But like everything, it all starts innocently...

Sleepovers were common, usually arranged by Mikaela. Watching movies, girl talk and all that, playing games, stuffing ourselves with candy and we did a lot more then that... I loved coming over, seeing as it always was a lot of fun. And one Friday evening, Mikaela arranged yet another sleepover and we did what we always did whenever we were having a sleepover. But as soon as we started to feel tired, we went to bed at around midnight. Only Sarah, Mikaela and I were attending at the sleepover and I fell asleep next to Mikaela in Sarah's room... I didn't really have much sleep... About two hours later, I heard that Mikaela was whispering, and that her voice was trembling as she tried to speak... But she wasn't next to me... Her voice came from a different room. She had a lot of difficulty to speak up her mind and I've never heard so much emotion in someone's voice before... She sounded angry... Scared... Sad... All of these emotions were mixed together and I didn't really know what to think of it... And at some point, I heard that she was on the brink of breaking into tears... She had a lot of pauses... Even more difficulty to talk as her speech turned into nervous stuttering... Something told me that I should go to her. And I didn't really know why. But I did anyway... I got up and went to the hallway, and saw through the crack of her bedroom door that she was talking on the phone, sitting on her bed... And heard her conversation...

'Don't do this to me... I beg you, don't... I-I just... I love you... A-And... No, no of course not... You said you wanna be with me, but you're hardly being with me... Please, don't... It's not fair that you do... What do I need to do for you to be with me...? ... It's not, and you know it... What...? I wasn't the one who fucked off, so stop blaming ME...! You don't understand my situation either... And no matter how many times I tried to explain it to you, you just either don't understand or just don't want to understand... Sacrifices...? Sacrifices?!! Don't you start on me about sacrifices, because you don't know shit about what I'VE been through!!! I've sacrificed EVERYTHING that I could possibly lose when all the odds were against me!!! You better not be saying that I don't know what I'm talking about!! Because I DO know!! And I thought that you, of ALL persons, should've known that!! ... The hell you want me to do then?!! ... Then you should have no problem understanding my situation here!! What I'VE been through, not JUST you! ...N-No b-but... Yeah, I-I know, b-but... I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to, baby... I'd do everything for you... I DID everything for you... But i-it's just-'

All of a sudden, she looked at the telephone horn in disbelieve... Mikaela puts it back to her ear, but lowered it again shortly after... She sits there for a couple of moments while I saw the tears slowly going down her cheek... Lots of 'em... It's painful to see a sweet and caring girl like Mikaela being devastated and overrun with sorrow...

'Didn't you're mother ever taught you it's rude to eavesdrop...?'

'I-I'm sorry...'

'It's alright... Just... Go back and try to catch some sleep, okay...?'

'Okay...'

But despite that, I didn't go away... I kept staring at Mikaela lying on her bed with her back facing me... And I heard she was sobbing quietly... I couldn't leave her alone like that... Not after experiencing her being so devastated... So I came in her bedroom, and stood there at her bed... She turns around moments later, and her eyes were soggy and red... She's totally shattered and devastated... Even though she told me to go back and try to catch some sleep, something in her eyes told me that she didn't want to be alone... That she needed someone... And the moment I sat on her bed and lied next to her was the moment that did it for me. A shattered weak little smile on her face... But that smile said more then a thousand of words... The moment I clenched my arms around her back, I heard how she let out a depressed sigh and it didn't took long before she clenched her arms around me as well. 'It's going to be okay, Mikaela... Trust me... It will...'

'Heh... You're so sweet... Thank you...' she said quietly while she was caressing my hair... And all of a sudden, she kissed me on my lips and kept looking at me with those soggy red eyes... So I did what my mother used to do whenever I felt sad or scared... She would clench her arms around me, and stroke my forehead... And so I did... To her...

'You wanna hear something funny, Ceylan...?'

'What's that...?'

'You're the best friend I've ever had...'