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That evening, I did what I always did every night. I never had the chance to say goodbye to my parents, my little brother and the rest of my relatives... I wasn't reunited with them, so I assumed that they didn't make it alive... And I miss them. Even now, I still do... Each and everyone... Every day, I talked to them... Told them what happened, what I did at school, what I ate for dinner. To me, they were still alive... And for that very same reason, I never called Simon and Catherine "my parents"... They are my adoptive parents, and they consider me as their daughter but... I just couldn't say it. I couldn't say "mum or dad" to them...

I went to bed at around nine o'clock that evening... I saw the hours ticking by on the clock and I couldn't fall asleep... As the hours were ticking by, the room seemed to get darker with every minute that passed by... I started to get scared for no apparent reason... Firmly clenching on my blankets, as if that would make it go away, whatever it was that was watching me... I thought I saw something moving... The shadows changed their angles... There they went... They were whispering at each other again, like they always did... Looking at me... Feeling a cold breeze that's bone chilling to feel... A dead eerie silence filled the room... Sounds faded off... Not hearing cars passing by outside on the street anymore... Just a dead eerie silence... I looked down at my left hand and saw how it was shaking... Taking cover underneath the blankets only made it worse... Surrounded in total darkness... Then the whispers started again..."Leave me alone...! Please...!" But they didn't go away and the terrified feeling only became worse as the tears were rolling down my cheeks... I moved around in bed, trying to scare them away but they only seemed to come closer... The familiar feeling of the air getting thicker crawled up my throat... As if they tried to suffocate me... I was terrified and they know I am... As if they enjoy it... Talking was difficult... But then I could finally utter my desperate cry for help to her...

'<M-Mom...?>'

And then all of a sudden... I felt something warm on my hand... Soft and warm... Something familiar... And everything went away, just like that... I saw someone sitting on my bed, holding my hand... I couldn't see who it was in the dark... But I saw her eyes and know it was her... She placed her hands on my cheek and gave me a tender kiss on my forehead... She gently caressed with the tips of her fingers over my forehead, like she always did... Gently scratching behind my ears... I couldn't feel her when I reached out for her... But I did feel her reassuring and comforting touches... She didn't say anything... So I started to talk to her instead, like I always did... I told her everything... I told her that Blain and I have been playing in the snow today, and that I learned how to climb trees...

A while later, I noticed my bedroom door slowly opened up... And with just a blink of an eye, she disappeared... I saw Catherine coming in my room, wearing a bathrobe, looking worried at me... She sits on the edge of my bed, and caressed my hair...

'Can they hear you...?'

'No... I don't think so...'

'What makes you think that, hun...?'

'They never say anything back to me...'

Catherine kept caressing my hair as I closed my eyes... I noticed on the clock that it was half past three... I was so tired but I just couldn't sleep... 'I saw her...' I whispered quietly...

'Who did you see...?'

'My mother... She sat on my bed...'

Catherine kept looking at me while she didn't say anything to me... I didn't expect her to but... I never thought about the difficult tasks she had as a parent. Especially taking care of someone like me. I heard Catherine crying one night and talking to Simon... I told her something I witnessed at the camp and she was horrified of what I told her. I talked to her about it as if I was talking about a day at school... I wasn't realizing how difficult it was to care of someone who's been in a war and to deal with it, knowing you want to help but you can't do anything about it. But she'd do anything she could...

'Do you want to stay with us tonight...?'

'Can I...?'

'Of course you can...'

'Heh...'

'C'mere, sweetie...'

She carefully got me out of my bed and carried me to her bedroom. Simon was already asleep, and I heard him snoring a bit... Catherine tugged me in bed and handed Mister Puffles over to me. I immediately started to chew on his ears again. Catherine got out of the bedroom and came back a couple of moments later with two cups of tea, which she placed on her nightstand. She got in bed next to me, and I firmly clenched my arms around her. So she did the same and kept caressing and kissing my forehead...

'Look, sweetie...'

'What...?'

'There he goes again...'

'Who...?'

'The little guy on the moon...'

Catherine always told me about the little guy living on the moon and I always stared outside the window to catch a glimpse of him. But no matter how long I stared, I never saw the little guy on the moon... 'You always tell me that he's there but I never see him...'

'I just saw him a couple of minutes ago...'

'Then where is he now...?'

'I think he's just going for a walk... It gets boring staying at the same place all the time...'

'He'll be back, right...?'

'I'm sure he'll return any minute, dear...'

So I kept staring outside at the full moon, waiting for him to return while Catherine kept caressing my hair and forehead... Her gentle strokes with the tip of her fingers over my muzzle... I've never felt so safe in my life before... Feeling a strong arm around me, knowing that she would protect me from everything... So it didn't take long before my eyelids started to feel heavy... But I was determined to see the little guy on the moon... The more I wanted to, the heavier my eyelids became... And at some point, I finally gave in and closed my eyes, feeling Catherine's heartbeats through her nightie and knowing that, one day, I will get to see the little guy on the moon...

Catherine always was very protective back when I was a cub. Maybe a little overprotective... She didn't like it that I climbed trees and stuff and she sure as hell didn't like it whenever I climbed the curtains... Then again, I always was a very active little cub. I couldn't sit still for just a couple of minutes. Always being outside, hanging around with Blain, either climbing trees or hunting birds... And Catherine didn't like that either... Those birds were traumatized whenever we were playing with them and one day, I accidently killed one. I never felt so bad in my life before, and Catherine told me that it's a natural thing for us to do when we're young... But ever since the day I killed one, I stopped hunting for them... Instead, Blain and I found something new to do. We just sat down somewhere, where we could pretend to be someone else by making up stories and stuff. We fantasized that we were rich and famous, a celebrity or astronauts going to the moon. And I'd finally shake the hand of the little guy on the moon and invite him over for lemonade and a cookie. Hehehe... So yeah, that's how Blain and I spend the days together when we were just cubs. He made me forget everything while I was with him, and being with Blain made me happy. At some point, he came with the idea of building a tree-house in the forest and his dad helped us by supplying wooden boards. He also did all the dangerous stuff, like drilling and the hammering. Blain's dad is a carpenter, so he'd know how to build stuff. The three of us were working on it during the weekends, and once it was finished, we celebrated it with lemonade and cookies inside the tree-house. The months passed by so quickly and every day was a lot of fun... Except that there was this one thing that could ruin our day... Randy and his friends... Blain always got bullied by these kids who were older and bigger than us. And we were absolutely terrified of them. Every time he saw them, he grabbed my hands, and we ran into the forests, quickly climbing up trees. Most of the time they lost track of us, and sometimes, they didn't even follow us. But because I was hanging out with Blain, meant that it was inevitable that I was going to be picked on as well, for being Blain's friend...

Blain and I were playing outside one day when it happened. We saw them again... A large group, bigger than usually, approached us. One of Randy's friends pointed over to us, and they started to head our direction. When I looked at Blain, who was staring at the group coming towards us, I saw how his eyes widened and how terrified he started to feel... So he quickly took my hand and we ran away as fast as we could. And while we were running, I looked back and noticed they started to run as well, slowly catching up with us... Blain took a leap and slashed his claws in the tree trunk, quickly making his way up. I tried to do the same, but because of the fear, knowing that so many of them were closing in, I suddenly lost that ability... Blain yelled for me to keep running, so I did, hiding behind a tree not too far away. Shortly after, they arrived and heard how they kept calling Blain names, like "fatso" and stuff... Blain was fat and short, but not that fat... Was that a reason for them to bully him like that...? When I looked up, I noticed Blain sitting on a tree branch, waiting for them to go, like he always did. He felt a bit confident, knowing that they couldn't reach him. When he yelled something back, one of the kids grabbed a rock, and threw it... He missed though, but the others took his example, and started to throw rocks at Blain... He received one on the muzzle and fell down the branch on the hard ground... Everyone was laughing at him, kept calling him names and eventually, formed a circle around him. They started to push him around in the circle, grabbed things from out of his pockets and tossed it around at each other... So Blain pushed one of them, and then all of a sudden, they started to punch him... And I was just witnessing it from a distance, being absolutely terrified... But I promised myself I'd protect him from anything... I had to do something... Anything... So I scraped all the guts I had left, and went towards them, even though every fibre in my body told me not to do it. Truth was though; I didn't know what I was going to do. When they saw me, they started to call me names too, and told me that I didn't belong here, as in, here in this country... I kept yelling them to leave Blain alone with a certain hesitation and fear heard in my voice and because I was there, a friend of Blain, meant that they would start on me as well. They started to pull my hair, pushing me around while Blain was on the ground looking at me. And at some point, he scrambled up quickly, and pushed one of them away. All of a sudden, Randy, the big bulldog kid, hit him in the face... Some other kid pushed me over and I fell with the back of my head on the hard ground. They stood there for a couple of moments, laughing at us, and eventually left... Blain was down on his stomach, and when he looked at me, I saw the tears going down his face... I got out a paper handkerchief from out of my jacket, wiping off the small stream of blood that was coming down his nose...

Blain and I were crying quietly in the forest that day... Because of the pain... The humiliation we've been through... For not understanding their motives... We were hugging each other for what has happened, trying to comfort one another in his tree-house we build with his dad. That day, the two of promised that we would look after one another. Blain never told his parents of what happened whenever he got bullied. And I didn't tell Simon and Catherine about what happened that day as well. But despite everything they ever did to him, Blain didn't hold any grudges against them. Not vowing for revenge or anything. If they would ask him to play with them one day, he'd probably do it, because he was so naïve... And so was I...

A couple of days later, the same thing happened... Blain and I were playing late in the afternoon, and they came out of nowhere. Blain wanted to run away again, but one of them yelled that they were sorry for what they did to us, and asked if we wanted to play soccer with them. Blain hesitated for a moment, but they seemed to mean it... They looked at each other and smiled, and even though I didn't want to, he started to play with them while I stayed my distance... So he played soccer with the older kids... Well, at first, it seemed relatively innocent, thinking they really wanted to play with him but... It didn't take long for me to notice that they didn't want to play with him at all... Blain waggled after the ball, and all of a sudden, he got tackled down hard by another kid... They kicked the ball over to him really hard and Blain received the ball on his chest, knocking out the air in his lungs. He gasped for air on his knees, and everything continued for a while... He got tackled again... Shortly after, Blain yelled to one of them to knock it off as he got tackled once more... This was all just a trick to lure him in so that they could have a good laugh again... After Blain got up, he pushed the one who tackled him and immediately received a punch in the face... They yelled at him that he finally get to play with them, and he starts a fight... And then they started to push him again, until one of them hit Blain in the face... This wasn't just bullying anymore... They were just beating him up... And I just stood there, from a distance, watching again how they were beating up my best friend... And again, that terrified feeling crawled up my throat... But I promised myself and to him... And I know it would hurt... I could've run away easily, like I used to do but... I saw how Blain was looking at me and his eyes yelled a desperate cry for help... And then all of a sudden, I scraped together all the guts I had left and ran as fast as I could towards the group, knocking down one of them. Someone else grabbed my arm, and pushed me on the ground and saw it was Randy... The biggest and the strongest of them... He started to pull my hair, calling me names and everything... Fear got the better of me once again... I tried to kick him off of me and I kicked him in the stomach... Then all of a sudden... He hit me in the face... And I didn't know what it did to me... Something just snapped inside of my head... Feeling something I never felt before that can only be described as rage... Fear got replaced by pure... aggressive... rage... The adrenaline was rushing throughout my entire body, spanning every muscle that I have... Every fibre of my entire body despised him and I wanted to make him pay for what he did to me... I wanted him to be afraid, to be terrified, like he made us feel... I wanted him to feel a lot of pain, knowing I wouldn't regret it, nor showing remorse... I got up as quickly as I could and yelled my lungs out as I ran towards him as fast as I could... He turned around and I hit him so hard in the face that he fell down... And while he was down, I jumped on top of him and kept hitting him in the face until some adults came by and separated us... All Randy did was crying his eyes out as blood was dripping down his nose and mouth... But despite that, I wasn't feeling sorry for what I did. Deep down inside, I was laughing, to see him down on the ground, beaten by a girl. I couldn't help feeling a certain satisfaction...

I lost my image that day as the "sweet innocent little girl who wouldn't hurt a fly". I wouldn't hurt someone unless their hurting me or my friends. But despite the fact that they started it, Catherine was really pissed at me for what I did... Of course, I didn't get off the hook that easily by saying that he started it... But uh... I was grounded for at least two weeks... No TV nor radio, or any form of entertainment and I had to spend those two weeks in my room... I was only allowed to come downstairs to eat and to go to school...

After we arrived at home, Catherine told me to go upstairs to my room while she went to see Randy's parents... So I did and once I sat in the window sill, I was staring outside and I saw Blain tapping on the glass of his bedroom window. I opened up my window while he did the same...

'Are you okay?!'

'Yeah...'

'What?!'

'I said, yeah, I'm fine! You?!'

'Yeah, I'm alright! But you should've seen yourself! Those fangs, and claws, and teeth an- and those fangs! That was soosoo AWEsome!'

'Heh...'

'We should go to the lake tomorrow!'

'I can't, I'm grounded!'

'Oh... That sucks! Some other time then, okay?!'

'Yeah, okay!'

'I have to go now, but I'll talk to you soon!'

'Okay! Bye!'

'Later!´

For hours, I sat there, in the window sill, staring outside... I saw the lights turning off in Blain´s room... But I kept sitting there in the window sill... The orange illumination glows from the clouds in the sky caused by the sun going down... The further I looked, the darker it became... The dark blue heaven slowly turned pitch black while I could see more and more stars coming out... One by one, they slowly came out of their slumber and illuminated the pitch black sky... And I remembered what my father once told me when he woke me up in the middle of the night... To see the stars with just the two of us... We sat in our back garden, gazing to the starry night sky... And I was captivated by the sight... So many bright dots... It was so beautiful to see... And I'll never forget what my father whispered to me that night...

"You know, Ceylan... Sometimes... In times of war... We forget the simple things... We're all too busy with fighting and trying to stay alive that we forget what it really is to be alive... To breathe the air... To feel the wind on your face or the touch of water... I realized how lucky we actually are... And we do nothing with it... Scientists are analyzing the stars, calculated their movements and mapped out the constellations for thousands of years... But they never realized how beautiful they really are by just looking at them... When I look up to them now, together with you, it's like I'm seeing them for the very first time... And that's something no one can never take away from us ever again..."

I looked at my dad and he had a weak smile on his muzzle that night... Then he gazed back at the stars while we were cuddling each other that night...

I wished my father could've seen the sunsets and the nights in Ravello... I'm sure he'd love that... And I wished he was there with me to see the stars that night... Twinkling bright dots in the sky to light up the darkness... And it felt as if they were calling out to me... I climbed out of the roof window and sat on top of it. It wasn't steep so I could easily sit down, and I watched the stars for a long time... Thinking of what my father once told me... And I felt ashamed to realize that, I too, was seeing the stars for the very first time...