Bad Hobby

Story by vowels on SoFurry

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All he could taste was metal. He awoke.

The room faded into view as if a fog lifted. He peered about, his mind fuzzy as if he had sucked the fog into his head. He wondered if he'd been nursing on a metal pole as he swished his tongue around, trying to get the taste out. Taste--the word kicked him in the gut, his stomach gurgling in hunger. Then he felt it. A curse escaped his lips as he strained his eyes to see what collared around his neck. Some device! A few lights blipped silently on the metal band, announcing its powered status. Then he noticed the room he occupied--actually a cell, bare as bones. And he was naked.

"I wouldn't touch that if I were you."

He cried out, asking every question one would ask upon waking up naked in a prison half-starved and without memory. He couldn't think of his name. He asked who he was, but got no answer as he ferreted his brain for any indication of the person he could be. He looked over himself, hoping his body would provide a clue: thick fur; a white, rotund belly; black arms and legs; a penis. He understood that he was male. He knew that much. But no name. No memories of who he was or what got him here. He cursed at the collar and took hold of it. As he strained to tear it off, a shock pulsed through his paws and into his body. He shrieked.

"Told you."

He shook his paws, trying to cast off the pain, and peered at his cellmate (also naked and collared) through the faintness of their cell, a lithe male of white fur with streaks as black as the pupil of his eyes that studied him. Together, they formed an achromatic pair. But he was... a tiger. It took him a second to figure that out, but that's what he was. Head propped on one paw, he lay on a metal platform attached to the wall. It was supposed to be some sort of bed. A rather uncomfortable-looking one, at that. A smile was plastered on the tiger's face and it was then he wondered whether or not he was face-to-face with his perpetrator. His paws wound into fists.

"Easy there!" the tiger cried, standing with paws up in a defensive gesture. "Sorry. I'm supposed to be your welcoming party, but you never know how these things'll go. Last guy gave me a black eye."

"Who are you? Why am I here?" Right now he didn't care much for the tiger's eyes when he couldn't believe what his own were seeing. The room was windowless, a lifeless grey void of sun, the only light source dwindling from outside the thick, metal bars separating him from freedom. In fact, everything was metal, inorganic and cold. Had he committed a crime?

"Well, if it's a name you want--forget it. Been here for more than a year and I still have no idea what I'm called. Don't get me wrong, though: I'm in the same predicament as you are, although to be quite honest, I don't mind it as much." The tiger sat back down, his cellmate not appearing as tense.

"And why are we here?" He looked up, noticing a globe on the ceiling in the corner (something that wasn't metal!), like the kind you'd see in a department store. A camera?

The tiger thought for a second, closing an eye and tapping his chin with a finger. "Well, I guess the simple answer is: we're being collected."

"Collected?" His fur stood on end. The word was so ominous given the circumstances. He thought of taxidermy, his body being skinned, his eyes replaced by glass lookalikes. Although the pain had subsided in his paws, a certain dread slowly tore at his mind.

"I suppose kind of like zoos from a century or so ago, you know... like our ancestors."

His history was hazy at best, but he remembered learning of a time when his kind couldn't speak, at least not like this, and they normally didn't walk on two legs like the humans did.

"He likes the rare and exotic. You wouldn't think it, but there's a giant ecosystem here filled with every manner of birds you never knew existed. If you're good, you may see it. Beautifully colored feathers that'd make a rainbow jealous, and long--"

"But I'm no bird! What am I doing here?" He paced the room, counting his fingers to make sure he remembered numbers; the tiger was starting to become a nuisance.

"Well, that's the thing. There aren't many of your kind, right?"

"My kind?"

"Yes. And that's what he likes. Owning a piece of the world that so few get to see. Like me, for instance: a Siberian tiger. A white Siberian tiger at that, unlike my more numerous Bengal cousins. I'm an oddity and he likes that."

"Wait a sec. Aren't Siberians supposed to be big? You're not exactly the pick of the litter." He began to doubt the tiger's implications of his rarity, wondering if he was holding a vital piece of information back or even telling the truth about anything at all. The cat had the body of a swimmer, lean and tight. He was sure he'd met a Siberian before, and they were big. But then again, what did he know?

"Well, you don't get fed steak dinners here everyday. And I'm not sure we have a lot of bamboo here for you. In fact, you're a first."

"First?"

"First panda."

"First Giant Panda," he retorted, almost automatically like flinching. More was coming to him. He remembered he hated the generic panda. It had to be Giant Panda, something completely different from the Red Panda, which wasn't even a bear. It was only respectful to recognize someone's heritage as it was.

"And giant is right!" the tiger responded, unphased by the panda's blunt correction. He grinned again, but it seemed more flirtatious. The panda raised an eyebrow; the tiger was eying his goods. "I won't lie 'cause you'll have to get used to this mighty soon anyway, but you've got a gorgeously huge cock. I've been looking at it while you slept, if you don't mind. Don't worry: I just window-shopped. I didn't try anything on."

The Giant Panda was simultaneously flattered and disturbed. He wished he had his clothes, although he normally didn't mind being naked in front of others (at least from what he could remember (or thought he remembered)). Given the circumstances, it didn't seem unreasonable to at least be clothed. The tiger chuckled, noticing the panda's bout of self-consciousness. The panda turned, almost embarrassed. Really, the tiger was just starting to creep him out. Just a tiny bit.

"Don't frown like that!" the tiger said, slugging the panda on a thewy arm. "It ruins your adorable face! I'd almost kill to be as big as that."

The panda could figure why the tiger had gotten a black eye. He almost cursed himself for being too nice to do the same, the tiger wrapping himself around the ursine, gazing upon the eight inches of flaccid bear-meat that hung like a sleeping tail, the tiger's own tail whipping about in excitement as he wondered how big it gets. The panda still had questions, though. And he needed answers.

"Why the hell are we naked?"

"Huh," the tiger replied, as if nakedness were normal. The panda rethought that--here, it probably was normal. Heck, the world could be upside-down outside, for all he knew. "Usually that's the third or fourth question everyone asks, after the collar and the whole waking-up-in-a-prison thing, of course. I think you're on question fifteen."

"I don't care if it's my hundreth question. Answer, please!"

"All right, all right!" the tiger said, sitting back down, but still eying the panda's package. The black-and-white cat didn't feel bad peeking now that he'd confessed to the black-and-white bear that he liked what he saw. The bear folded arms across a muscular chest, deciding to just deal with his cellmate's queer interest. "Our captor... he's a bit of a voyeur, as you can see from the camera over there. But there's more... and you're going to see for yourself in a second!"

The panda protested, demanding specific answers. Then there came a grind of gears before the tiger could answer, and a section of the bars slid, allowing their exit. The panda wasn't sure whether this was a good or bad thing.

"It's time, big guy," the tiger said. "He's always watching and it's best to cooperate, lest you get another shock."

The panda demanded to know what was happening, but the tiger wasn't being clear, only coaxing the bear to follow him outside. The panda did, cautiously at first, glancing down the hall that contained a number of other cells, most empty, although few held sleeping occupants whose species he did not recognize or remember; and wether they were amidst a normal sleep or freshly unconscious due to their captor's methods as he had been moments ago, he couldn't tell.

"Where are all the others?" Certainly there'd be more people if he were any sort of collector.

"Living quarters," the tiger replied, not turning his head. "This is just where we keep the new 'recruits.'"

Thinking of their captor and his hobby of "collecting" snagged the panda back, the tiger padding ahead without hesitation. What if he were walking to his doom? At the end of the hall was a giant, metal sliding door. He wouldn't take another step.

"I hate it when they hesitate like this," the tiger muttered before shouting back: "Hurry now! It's not as bad as you may think. You'll be fine."

Not wanting to risk another terrible shock and trusting that nothing would befall him seeing as the tiger was still alive for the year or so he claimed to be here, he crept forward. As if in response, the door rumbled open, revealing nothing but a dark room. The tiger stepped in and lights shuddered on. He followed.

The room was wide, a mirror affixed to one wall like a giant, rectangular eye. He deduced that it was a two-way mirror like in an interrogation room, allowing a discreet view of the activities here. The room was ornamented with its showcase item, an objet d'art: a dual-horned rhinoceros, greyer than their metallic prison, with a physique so perfectly cut that a god would be envious. The rhino was suspended by chains, hanging in a T-like fashion, legs lying limp on the floor; it was easy to marvel every sinew, every muscle chiseled by the many years of dedication and discipline it obviously took; hanging lazily, it was especially easy to marvel the thick, mushroom-headed cock, a sliver of fleshy-pink in contrast to the huge body of its possesor. The tiger must've been salivating already. Despite the panda's fears, he had to quickly admit the rhino bested him both in girth and length, even proportionally as the rhino's frame was much bigger than both he and the tiger combined.

"He's the guy that gave me the black eye," the tiger remarked, rubbing the eye that'd been struck, although all evidence of his attack had already healed.

Unconscious, a larger collar snaked around the rhino's own neck and the panda wondered if resisting was the cause of his inert state. He knew the rhino wasn't dead from the heavy breathing and he began to wonder about the point of all this. Torture, perhaps? He prayed it wasn't.

"Guess he didn't appreciate all your dick-worshipping."

"Guess not. He's a tough guy, though. Just came in more than a week ago. He's been the cause for heavy weather here. Even put a dent over there." He gestured to the damage beneath the two-way mirror which was too high for any of them to reach, even for the titanic rhinoceros.

Out of pity and, to a lesser extent, hoping to win over a powerful ally, the panda tugged on one of the chains, trying to snap it free.

"Don't just stand there," the panda growled. "We need to get him off this."

"It's no use!"

The sliding door began to rumble shut and, waffling, the panda jetted for it. He fell into screams as his collar sent a warning bolt through his body. The door shut. He was locked in.

"I told you to cooperate!" the tiger said, helping the panda up.

"What's going to happen?" The panda coughed, the shock to his throat making it difficult to swallow or breathe. Chains? Hanging there unconscious for however long, enslaved by a freak he could not see, doomed to submission by a shock collar? He didn't want any part of it!

"He's watching us. Just give him what he wants."

"What does he want?"

The tiger paused, as if afraid to answer when really, he was just allowing the panda a little time to brace for the answer. "A show."

It all clicked in the panda's head. This was a sick fantasy for their captor. Their nakedness, the bareness of the rooms where there wasn't even a sheet to keep warm: he wanted to watch them at all times fully in the buff so he could get his knocks off. All at his convenience.

"Sick..." the panda whispered.

The rhino stirred, mumbling.

"Look," the tiger said, worry tickling his voice. "You'll have to do as I say. I've already received instructions, a general outline, of what he wants."

The rhino blinked awake; he began to pull on his chains.

"What he wants?"

"Listen? Do as I say and you'll be fine. Believe me!"

The panda gulped. He wasn't a toy, but he had no choice. Another shock could kill him. He rubbed his neck, feeling the pulse deep inside him quicken. It was better to be alive instead of tossed in the trash, broken.

A buzz sang through the air, a red light by the mirror igniting like a flare. It was a signal.

The tiger gave his best smile to comfort the panda, gesturing him forth as he circled behind the rhino. The panda edged forward, the rhino growling like a geyser, his body twisting and straining against his bonds. All in vain.

"Easy, big guy," the tiger said. "We can't have him wait too long!"

The rhino cursed and struggled again. The panda was waiting for it. Within seconds, the rhino yowled in agony as a shock surged through him. Even with all his muscle, he was still flesh and blood, susceptable to the effects of electricity. He went slack and the panda thought he was unconscious again. But then the rhino muttered. He'd cooperate.

"I'm glad," the tiger said, patting the rhino's taut behind. "I really don't want to see this happen. I've only suffered the shock once and that was enough for me! As for you, panda-man, have you ever given a blowjob?"

What kind of question was that? "Of course not! I'm not like... you."

"Fair enough. I'd just do your best."

"Him?" The panda exclaimed, jutting a thumb to the rhino. A nod. "He's huge!"

The red light snarled again and he knew a shock was at hand if he didn't hurry. He knelt at the rhino, glancing up at his heavy eyes.

"Just do it, kid," said the rhino. "It's not a weapon. But if I don't shoot, then our friend behind the glass won't either. And we'll all face the firing squad."

"Yes, sir," the panda replied in full respect, but instantly wondering why he was being formal. But he did as ordered. The panda grasped the rhino's dick and took in the heady scent, astonished that he was actually touching it, and began to stroke it up and down, up and down, the foreskin playing peek-a-boo with the broad glans. His dick was heavy, imposing, but he kept stroking, imagining its size when fully hard. The rhino watched.

The sound of it was getting the tiger hard already. From behind, he groped the rhino's firm cheeks, teasing them before lifting the short tail to help reveal the tight, puckered hole. It wasn't enough and he settled to spreading apart his cheeks like a pair of tightly shut sliding doors. The tiger inserted his tongue, lapping at the pink ring of muscle. The tiger's whiskers tickled the rhino and the giant ungulate, coupled with the panda's manual stimulation, couldn't help but let out a sigh.

As if on cue, the rhino's dick began to harden, as much as he didn't want it to, and the panda kept stroking, deciding to take his chance with his other paw to fondle the rhino's pair of palls that hung heavily as ripe fruit. Soon he was completely hard, his ass completely wet, his dick jutting at a healthy angle towards the ceiling as a drop of preseminal fluid slid down its length like one of its veins. But the panda had to stop, stunned. The rhino must've been at least a foot long. No one was that big!

Hesitant, the panda opened his mouth then took the cockhead in. He tasted skin, the sting of pre-cum. He tried to suck on it like a thumb, but its size made that difficult. He bobbed his head down, back up, but got a little too much teeth in, forcing the rhino to wince. Back down and the rhino's dick tapped the back of the panda's throat, making him gag. The panda released him, a sagging bridge of saliva still connecting them, and breathed.

The tiger's dick was aching for the action of his tongue, which was buried in the rhino's tailhole, so he braced himself with the rhino's hard body, the skin so thick it was probably immune to lead, a natural bulletproof vest, and guided all seven inches in. The rhino groaned, but took it without complaint.

The panda didn't want to look, but it couldn't be helped. The tiger was busy humping a monster several times his size, the slap of groin against skin bombarding the panda's ears at regular intervals. The rhino grunted, moaned, swore under his breath, and bit his lower lip. The sexual energy got to the panda like a snare and his own dick was starting to get hard.

The panda took up the rhino's cock again, focusing his mouth's attention on the head as one paw stroked the meaty shaft. His other found its way to his own leaking ten-incher, hard as the metal flooring. None of them knew how much time went by, but it felt like forever to the panda, his mouth becoming fatigued, his knees aching. The tiger eventually slowed and pulled out. Was he finished?

"Make sure he doesn't cum," the tiger instructed through pants, "'cause you're gonna be taking him next."

The panda almost choked on the rhino's dick. "I can't take that!" But he knew it was either being unable to walk for a few days, or another shock.

"I'll warm you up, don't you worry."

The panda eyed the tiger's dick, which was still hard. He wasn't as big as the rhino or panda, but he was still thick. He just gave a nod.

The tiger gave another one of his grins before prepping the panda, rubbing the panda's behind and giving it a slap before diving in with his tongue, rimming the panda's tight tailhole. The panda shuddered, but kept his mind off it by working on the rhino again who just watched, wordless. Then the tiger worked in a finger, then another, all manner of sensation surging through the panda's body from this foreign touch. Not before long, the tiger had his dick in the panda who hissed in pain, lurched his back and adjusted as the tiger's cock prodded sensitive parts inside him. He grew used to it--sooner than he thought--and moaned in pleasure. It was the sensation of being filled. He never knew the feeling. His dick became harder than ever and he worked on the rhino's cock with renewed interest.

The rhino had the perfect view of this display, the tiger humping a little too quickly, too joyfully, his tongue lolling out in ecstacy. His own dick surged with pleasure and it escalated, his legs growing weak and his mind foggy, more than it already was. "God, I'm gonna cum."

Remembering the tiger's warning, the panda stopped, releasing the rhino whose dick throbbed in the air, demanding release, the glans fully engorged. The chains clamored as the rhino was lowered, the tiger pulling out in preparation for the next portion of their engagement. The rhino was still chained, but no longer suspended, and had more use of his arms.

"On your back, panda," said the rhino, stretching and rolling his shoulders.

"That's Giant Panda, sir." He didn't care how imposing the rhino was, muscles and all. Respect was respect.

"Beg pardon. I'll try not to let it hurt. Much."

The panda reclined onto his back as instructed, legs up, feeling awkward and embarrassed. The rhino kneeled down to align his cock with the panda's warmed-up tailhole, first spitting on his hand, lubing up his dick with saliva before pressing in without warning. The panda yelped, writhing in discomfort. The rhino took hold of the panda's legs and eased in most of the remaining length. The panda was tight and it took a moment for him to relax to allow the much bigger rhino full entrance.

Then he began to thrust. The panda gritted teeth, his body shaking--including his full, but firm belly contrasting with the rhino's set of abs--from every impact. The rhino pulled him in harder with all the aggressiveness of a male harnessing his mate, grunting as every inch of his dick smoldered with pleasure, spasming into his spine and into every appendage.

For the first while the panda was in pain, but soon enough it transitioned into pleasure, his dick hard and smacking against his stomach with every one of the rhino's thrusts. He began to jerk himself off; the fullness the rhino provided felt wonderful and it was then he understood why the tiger didn't mind this place so much.

The tiger had been watching for awhile, playing with himself, squeezing a nipple or fingering his ass. The panda seemed to be enjoying himself now, so he stepped over him and took hold of the rhino by his bigger horn, stroaking it like a phallus. The rhino gave him a look, knowing where that cock had been, but complied, opening his mouth to suck off the tiger. The tiger's tail batted the face of the panda who had a good view of his balls swaying up above. Soon it was nothing but an amalgamation of moaning and grunting and the wet sounds of sucking and fucking, minutes spilling into the next one over and over like their sweating, the panda and rhino learning to enjoy each one more than the next.

After a while the tiger got stiff, the familiar sensation coalescing at the head of his cock. He took hold of the rhino by the horn, grinding in his dick as it spurted. He let out a loud sigh as he shot again, his hips spasming. The rhino continued to suck the tiger off, drool and cum waterfalling from his mouth onto the panda. The taste was too strong, too salty. He wouldn't swallow and spat out what was left after the tiger collapsed to the floor, panting heavily and, grinning his usual grin, watching the rhino and panda finish.

The panda focused on his glans as pleasure rocketed through his body. The first spurt hit his chin by surprise and he gasped at the power of his orgasm, another surge splattering him on the face. Another one. He shot again onto his chest and stomach. The rest seeped out thickly, dripping from the slit onto the coarse fur of his crotch. He couldn't remember ever cumming this hard. He felt good all over.

This spectacle sent the rhino over the edge, his muscles becoming stiff. He took hold of the panda by the waist and thrust into him with a powerful force, unleashing the first wave of spunk deep into his bowels. He pulled his dick out, moaning and groaning so loudly as he jerked himself off, his thick cum firing onto the panda, streaks of white upon the black sections of fur. The panda watched even as his face got splattered, another shot zipping past him onto the floor behind.

"Oh, God..." growled the rhino, watching his dick spurt another long rope of cum. Even the tiger was wide-eyed at this display and it seemed like forever to all three of them for the rhino's footlong cock to unleash his entire load.

"Damn!" the panda exclaimed when the rhino finished, still panting on the floor, looking himself over as he was completely drenched in everyone's cum. He was lucky to still see any black on him at all. "That was fucking impressive!"

The rhino grunted in acknowledgment, his dick going soft, but still hanging like a large, rubber baton. He stood and looked over at the mirror. "He better be fuckin' happy."

They waited in silence for some sort of cue. After awhile it got uncomfortable and the panda wondered if there was a bath available. Semen and fur were probably not a good mix.

"Well?" said the rhino, crossing his arms.

"I-I don't know," the tiger replied. "Usually the doors open by now and we can go. Maybe it wasn't enough?"

The panda stood, growing anxious.

"Wait," said the rhino. "What's this?"

He picked a bean off the floor from where the panda stood. But it wasn't a bean. Some sort of small device the shape of one.

"Is this another contraption of his?" demanded the rhino to the tiger who only shrugged.

Their ears twitched. Something stirred behind the walls. They could hear it. A scuffle? Voices?

The window shattered, a bullet zinging into their wide enclosure as they all ducked.

"Hold your fire!" a voice called. Bodies were seen moving in the dark room behind the window. The metal door began its opening trek.

"Are we being rescued?" The panda's heart doubled its beats-per-minute. Hope!

Soon a troop of men in protective gear tramped into their enclosure, weapons drawn as they secured the area. It was the police.

Two detectives accosted the naked trio, bearing blankets. "Glad to see you three are alive," said one, a human who was doing his best to ignore the evidence of what they did to each other. "Would be great to see you three back on the force."

"I'm sorry, but what are you talking about?" the panda asked.

"No memory," the other detective said, a handsome German shepherd. A woman came as soon as all three were covered by their blankets and gave them each a shot. "It's a serum to counter the effects of the drug he used to make you lose your memories. Works fast."

Nothing happened at first, but soon different memories struck all three like a rogue wave. The panda remembered why he was here. Recently transferred to assist as an undercover officer due to the disapperance of their Chief of Police, the panda would be too difficult for The Collector, as he was called, to resist. Bugged with a new type of tracker utilizing expensive state-of-the-art synethic protein technology, its signal could not be detected or scrambled by ordinary means; they were able to ping the location of the panda and come to their rescue. Passed efforts failed miserably, as the tiger would be able to attest. Similarly bugged with weaker technology, The Collector wasn't fooled, utilizing impressive technology himself. This mistake cost him more than a year of his freedom.

"Careful with that, chief," said the first detective. "That little bit right there is worth more than my salary in ten year's time." The rhino looked at the bean-shaped tracker between his fingers. He could squash it in one pinch. "Must've gotten dislodged somehow."

The panda knew how, the bite of hunger reminding him of the process. After a two-day fast, the synthetic-protein tracker had to be inserted rectally into the empty lower colon; this minimized exposure to digestive juices, allowing for the best possible performance while still remaining discreet. The rhino's huge dick was most likely the culprit.

The second detective said, "Don't worry, the creep's going to jail for a long time. Assaulting police officers, multiple accounts of kidnapping, not to mention all his dealings on the black market. And we have all the evidence we need, as he recorded and stored practically everything--rich punk with nothing better to do with his money. He'll never see the light of day again."

"We're going to need statements later. Now if you'll pardon us for a moment."

The three stood there in awkward silence as the two detectives left, recollecting all the events.

"Heya, Chief," the panda said after a long moment. He couldn't believe what had happened between him and his superior, the musclebound rhino. His fur felt even stickier because of it and his semen smelt stronger than ever.

"Heya," the tiger echoed, also equally embarrassed. For years he'd kept his interest in men hidden, visiting gay bars almost halfway across state, even hiding his own stash of porn in his studio apartment, in case of surprise vistors, especially since he was close friends with many at his precinct. The flagrant display he'd shown today alone would confirm any suspicion.

The rhino was probably the most embarrassed. He had a wife and kids, for God's sake. "I think I'll be taking a look at that footage," said he. "First."

The tiger and panda nodded. A little deletion shouldn't hurt their case too much. Their threesome never happened.

"But first, let's destroy the DNA evidence. Hit the showers!"