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Chapter 4

A new friend

I awoke startled not knowing where I was. I jumped to my feet in a fighting stance looking around to get my bearings. There was something in my hand, I look down and see the hollow recorder in my hand and I remember.

"Oh that's right." I said to the darkness my voice bouncing off the stone walls around me. "I'm still all alone."

I take a deep breath and stretch easing my aching body. Sleeping on the stone floor is not the most comfortable I have been.

"Well, I guess it's time to move on." I go to the entrance of the cave and peek my head out. I breath deep in through me nose taking in all the scents of the forest, from the dirt to the moss to the clean air. Just by sent i could pinpoint each and every animal that was worth eating.

"Hmm... nothing but deer and rabbits around here." I said, i had made a habit of talking to myself in the quiet. "I guess it's safe to come out. I need to find some food. Something bigger than a rabbit. A dear would be nice. But I don't want it to go to waste." i mused thinking over my situation.

"What am I going to do with you little girl?" I said looking at the holo recorder still in my hand i could not bare to part with the last thing i had of hers.

I take a look around and see some new vines growing up the side of the cliff face next to the entrance of the cave. I grab three lengths of vines and start braiding them together while I walk north in search of the safehouse. I know that I have about 25 miles to go to get there. If I don't stop to often i should be able to make it there before dark. Before making the journey I need to find something to eat. If I can find a bunch of rabbits I could have some food to take with me. I finished braiding the vines together into a string and fed one end through a small hole in the holo recorder. I cut the string to a length that allowed the recorder to dangle off my neck and rest over my heart. I grabbed a few more vines off a old tree i was passing. These vines were a bit larger than the other ones I still had. I braided them together like I did before. I tied the makeshift rope around my waist being sure that it was tight enough that it can't fall past my hips. I scope the area as i walked, if i could get a few rabbits i could eat while i walked.

I found the first rabbit bounding along its trail its ears up, it had no idea that it was being stocked. I lunged quickly and grabbed it by its ears, i broke its neck swiftly wanting it not to suffer needlessly.

"Thank you for giving your life to save mine" I said to the animal, I felt guilty for not thanking its brother i had killed yesterday. "May the God of Earth welcome you into his arms"

I quickly field dressed the animal since i would not be eating it right away. After rinsing it in the river I tied the rabbit to vines around my waist. I continued on keeping an eye out for any more i could snatch easily.

I tied the fourth rabbit to my makeshift belt using the smaller vines I grabbed this morning. "There, That should be enough for my trip north." I said touching the recorder around my neck. It was nice to have something that was Jennys, something to remind me of her, something to talk to. I went back again towards the river to get my bearings once more.

"Well" I said sighing happy for the food i had gathered. "There is a long trip ahead of me. At this rate i'm not going to get there before it gets dark. I can only hope the safe house is still there." I said as i headed off deeper into the dense woods. The trees may have grown up in 150 years but the woods were still the same. There was still dirt below my paws and the sky above me.

As i had assumed most of the large landmarks are the same even more than one hundred years later. They still looked the same as when I had taken the trip with jenny and her father. I walk along the river being careful not to leave the cover of the trees. I can tell that i am close when i see the ledge on the edge of the river that Mordare would throw Jenny off of when they were playing in the water. I felt a smile creep across my face thinking of the love he had for his daughter. He had tried his best to spend quality time with her knowing that one day he would not be there. He knew that she would not be able to use Tankande to learn from him and had to teach her while he was still here. Mordare spent lots of time training her to be the best Raseri she could be. In fact she would not be able to use it to learn anything from me either.

"That means that all this time you had known that i have been alive. Tankande will not work if your parent is still alive." I said touching the recorder again. This realization floods me with a mixture of relief and horror. She would not have been able to learn anything from me. All those messages i had left for her in my memories she would have never known. On the other hand she would have known i was alive somewhere since Tankande could only be used once the parent of the sam sex was gone from this world. I clutched my necklace and the smile left my face. "I'm sorry baby. I don't know how hard that must have been for you."

It had been dark for a couple of hours when arrived to the safe house location. I approach the edge of the field to see if i can get a good look at what is left of the old white safe house. To my surprise the farmhouse was still in tact and there seemed to be a bunch of additions done to it. It was still a bit rundown looking, its paint was flaking off the main building. It must have been able to hold over fifteen people now. I could see one light on in the upstairs in what I assumed was a bedroom. "Well Jenny I guess there are still people living here." I said holding the holo recorder. "We will have to find a different place to spend the night." I backed away from the edge of the feild and back to the woods, i felt lost. I had nowhere else to go. I didn't know what to do at this point. I shook myself and found a small open spot in the dense forest.

I sit cross legged under the cover of the spruce trees that were common in this area. I close my eye and sit there unmoving, hands folded in my lap trying to get my mind to go blank. I need guidance, i need my mother. I'm hoping that if i initiate Tankande i will learn something from my mother's past that will help me. Lots of time just seeing my father and hearing my mother's voice again helps me solve my problems. I hold the memory of my mother and the image of her face In my minds eye. I feel a wave of emotion wash over me as I am taken in to my mother's memory.

"Would you just look at her Jagare? Isn't she beautiful?" I said in my mother's voice.

"she is the most beautiful pup I have ever seen." said my father.

I feel a tug on my breast and look down and see that I am holding and breastfeeding little Shalamar. My mother's feelings are washing over me like the waves at the beach. I stroke the soft orange fur between my baby's ears while humming. My mate crouches down close to me and his child looking straight in to my eyes. He took a deep breath as if he was trying not to start crying.

"My beautiful daughter hear this and remember. Be kind and slow to anger but do not be afraid to show your fangs. Look and listen before you act as to not make a fool of yourself. Remember to respect the old Gods and what they represent but do not follow with blind faith. Always keep your friends close but do not be afraid to take the leap to make new ones."

"That was beautiful Jagare" i said to him tears of joy welling up in my eyes

He leans forward and holds us both in tight embrace. A single teardrop rolling down his cheek

"I love you so much and I hope my message will find you when you need it most."

I release the memory knowing I shouldn't stay long. It kills me every time to leave again. It is never enough. If only they know what I was going through. My father would have a few choice words for these humans.

Coming out of Tankande is always a bit surreal. Trying to remember where I am and where I was. I feel tears rolling down my face and i go to wipe them away and realise i am tied to a tree.

How could this have happened while i was in Tankande? The movement should have snapped me back. I look around my eyes adjusting to the moon light trying to see if i can find the one that did this to me.

"I must stay calm" i tell myself "no need to go killing again" on my third scan of the scenery around me I finally spot my capturer sitting on a fallen tree looking straight at me.

How did i not see him there before?

He is only eight feet from me. He is an older Human i would guess in his forties. He has a green trench coat on with a camo shirt under it. His cargo pants were the same pattern of camo as his shirt. In the low light i could see a pistol strapped to his leg and a utility belt with a bunch of pouches on it holding who knows what horrors. The pistol was a .45 cal Colt 1911 that had been modified with a sight and supressor. Other than the pistol i could only see a large knife strapped to his ankle. If i had to fight him it would not be pretty.

His face was warn and scared with eyes that have seen untold terrors. His gaze was relenting and sent shivers down my back which i found impresave. He had a beard that resembled the fur on the face of a lynx. It was long and parted in the center with black tips. The rest of his hair and beard was a light brown. His hair is well kept, straight, and about shoulder length. The thing about him that was confusing was he didn't smell like a human. Mostly i couldn't smell him at all which was probably why i couldn't locate him. When i focused on him what i could smell was Raseri.

'There is no way that this tailless Human is a Raseri. I don't care how long it has been a Raseri should still look like a Raseri.' i thought, confused.

As if he could here what was going through my head he spoke up in a gruff voice.

"Your nose is not lying to you. Yes i do smell like a Raseri." he said his voice low in tone and volume.

"What are you?" i asked him, he had been the first live thing i had seen besides the animals since leaving the bunker.

"Really?" He looked at me confused "No question about why i tied you up? How i did it? Why i didn't kill you?" he questioned.

"After the last two days i have had, all that is the least of my worries."

"Oh...well i guess i could tell you about my self but i would rather press play on this old holo recorder." he held up his hand holding my daughters recorder. I hadn't noticed that it was not on my neck anymore.

"Please dont." i pleaded, my voice wavering "that is all i have left." i pulled on my restraints eyes watering up.

"Well then let's talk about you instead." he said puting the recorder down. "How long were you a captive in that bunker? I have been watching it and the road in to it for some time and have never heard about a Raseri being in there."

"One Hundred and fifty years give or take." i said my head hanging down defeated.

"No." he said sternly his eyes cold, he did not believe me.

"That is what i was told." i said looking up at him not raising my head.

"There is no way. Raseri from your clan dont live that long and you are to young to have been here during the cleanse." he watched me closely.

"I was in cryo sleep. To me it was like falling asleep and waking up here in this upside down world."

"Must be nice getting a restart like that. You got to skip over the horror that was Slakdagen."

"How dare you speak our tung." i said through my teeth snapping my head up looking him in the eyes. "You filthy human have no idea what i have been through. I have lost everything, My Mate Mordare, and my only daughter Jenny, every one that i called friend. They are all dead because of your kind." I growled my voice getting louder as i spoke. The pain of losing everyone in an instant was still too fresh.

He watched me with an unwavering gaze. "I didn't mean to offend you or strike a nerve. The Raseri language comes second nature to me. My parents were Raseri born Humans."

"That still doesn't give you the right." i snapped.

"It is your choice to believe that." he said shifting on his log. "Your markings look familiar." He mused staring at my fur intently "I wonder if i have met any of your kin in passing."

"My kin? How could you have met any of them if they were all killed?" i questioned the strange man who was staring at my naked body.

"First we need to gain some common ground. Let me tell you about myself and what you have missed in the last one hundred and fifty years." he shifted a bit on his log again getting comfortable. "My name is Samuel but most people i meet call me Sam. I am what is called a Fangen."

I growled at him at the sound of my peoples words being used again.

"Hey it's what we call ourselves. Do you want me to continue or not?" I nodded yes still glaring at him. "Like i said before my parents were Raseri born Humans. But they were not just Humans, They were more. Born in a lab that forced Raseri woman to be experimented on. The ones that founded the project wanted soldiers that were human but had all the benefits of the Raseri. As children the Bastards, as they came to be called, were trained to hunt down and kill Raseri. They were very good at what they did."

"That's awful!" i said getting angry "why would you tell me this?"

"If you have been gone or asleep for 150 years i want to bring you up to speed on what has happened. You are not the only one that has suffered."

His words were like knives. He was not sugar coating any of this. "If you dont mind i would like to continue."

"Please do." i said quietly, i was almost afraid to talk.

"Like I was saying they were good a killing Raseri. Many of them breed from Raseri adapt at killing at night. There speed was incredible and no Raseri could hear them coming. After all the killing the Humans decided that they could have no more unclean in there company and started killing all the breeders and the children. The Bastards that were not killed in the first day ran."

He got off his spot on the log and moved to the space between us, he began to gather dry wood and leaves into a bundle.

"Being so good at hiding they found it easy to run form the Humans. Most of them stayed together on the run. Some tried to find what was left of the Raseri and join them. Needless to say they were not met with open arms. The second they stept foot in a Raseri camp they were killed. My parents were among the few that paired up and tried to make it on their own."

He reached into his belt of horrors and pulled out an old Zippo and started tightening the bundle.

"One day when they were watching a path to a largeRaseri camp, a Human search party came along. They knew that this would be there chance to show that they were not on the humans side. They waited for a Raseri patrol to come in contact with the humans and came out from the shadows. They killed the humans with such speed that the Raseri barely saw what happened. The patrol took them to the elder of the camp to pass judgment on them. That was when we got our name. Fangen or The Captive for we are captive in our own bodies. We are Raseri with the curse of being human. It was with that clan my parents became Mated. They shared a bond closer than any human could poses."

As a spark lit the bundle, he paused his story to breath life to the flames. He slowly placed small sticks onto the bundle building a small fire to keep them warm. He nodded satisfied and continued.

"The Raseri were kind to my parents. They taught them about the culture, taught them how to access the memories of their parents, How to use Tankande. Then one day when i was very young, a Human kill squad found our clan. My parents did all that they could to save everyone but paid with their lives. A handful of us were able to escape. They raised me as one of their own teaching me the ways of the Raseri and when i was 15 i was finally able to use Tankande and see into the past of my father. I have learned much from him including how to fight."

He sat back onto his log staring into the fire, lost for a moment in his own words.

"Much of it was painful seeing him kill his own kind and feeling how he felt about it. From what i gathered none of the Fangen were on board with killing Raseri but feared for their lives if they did not obey. I have spent my entire life caring for the remaining Raseri and keeping them hidden. So please believe me when i say i mean you no harm."

All i could do was stare at him across the fire. I had no idea that things had gotten so bad. I could see in his face that telling that story was not as easy as it looked. He had his macho exterior on still but i could tell he was struggling not to break down. I relaxed against the tree i was tied to pondering what he had said. I must trust the words of my father 'don't be afraid to take the leap to make new friends'

"I believe you. What you have been through is tragic and i feel for you. Maybe together we can fix this." i said calmly

"I'm glad you decided to believe me. I'm going to untie you now. Please dont attack me. I don't want to kill you."

"And i don't want to kill you ether. I just got my fur clean again." i said as he went behind me to untie my hands

He came back to face me after untying me and held out his hand with holo recorder still on my makeshift necklace.

"Sorry i tried to use this against you. If you don't mind, what is on it?"

"Its a message i found from my daughter. We were meant to meet up at the house in the field. Unfortunately i never made it there."

"Better late than never." he said with a half cocked smile "It just so happens that I own said house"

"there there is no way that my Jenny could have survived all this time though." I said staring at the fire.

"your right but I bet there is records of every Raseri that has been through this safehouse. Abbedissa kept track ever since she took over."

"Abbedissa? Was she a Raseri?"

"Yes she was." he said with loss in his tired eyes "She was the mother to many of us who were lost. She took in many orphans human or otherwise and raised them as her own."

"Her name fits her. I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you. She has been missed. Many of us are still trying to find our way without her." he trailed off starring into the darkness. We sat there for a couple of minutes watching the fire reflecting on the past. He was the first to break the silence.

"We should head to the house. You probably would like to get some clothing on or at least sleep on a bed."

"A warm bed would be nice. I just need enough clothing to cover the naughty bits." he chuckled a bit at that and nodded.

"Okay follow me to the house." he said getting up and kicking dirt onto the fire putting it out.

We walked quietly to the house, our only light was the stars and moon. I took this time to think why I trusted this human so much. I have no reason to believe anything that he has told me. But there was something about his eyes, something that told me I could trust him. We get to the house and walk up the front porch and I pause at the door.

"Should i be worried about walking in on a bunch of people completely naked?"

He looked back at me and smiled "There has only been me for many years now. After Abbedissa died everyone slowly left the houses and went into hiding."

"Oh okay, we are alone then." I said almost nervous.

"Yes. I have tried to keep tabs on everyone after they left but we trained them to well. My hope is someday we won't have to hide anymore and we will all be reunited. Maybe someday Abbedissa's vision will come to light and the humans will finally except us." He opened the old door and slipped inside becoming her to follow.

I followed him inside and I took in my surroundings breathing in all the scents from the wood flooring to the dirt from Sams boots. I looked around amazed the inside had been changed more than I could have imagined. They had taken down most of the walls making the previously cramped floor plan to an open one.. There was a large stone/brick fireplace in the middle of the room, it was open on both ends with a couch and chairs surrounding it. On one side of the room there is a massive table that could seat about 20 people. On the other side of the room was a staircase to the second floor and under the stairs was a door that looks like it leads to the kitchen. The fireplace crackled with inviting heat on this chilly fall night welcoming me into the house.

"The bedrooms are this way." he said to me motioning towards the stairs.

I follow him across the room to the stairs, admiring the wide board floors creaking under my paws, some parts of the house had stayed the same. They had tried to keep some of the houses historic elements as they upgraded the ouse over the years. We get to the top of the stairs to the hall where all the bedrooms were. There was one hallway going the length of the house with small one bed bedrooms all along it. At the end there was a door that is closed. He walks all the way to the end and grabs the doorknob and pauses. It looked like he was trying to decide if he was going to go in or not. I heard him say something under his breath and turned to look at me.

'His eyes are so sad again.' I thought as i watched him closely.

"This is...was...Abbedissa's room. I believe she would want you to have it. There is clothing in the closet if you so choose to put some on."

He opened the door and steps off to the side motiong me to go in. I walk past him and in to the room. It is much bigger than the ones that I had passed in the hall. This one had a queen size bed and plenty of room to walk around it. The room smells stale like it hasn't been opened in years. I walk over to the closet and open the doors to see what my options are for clothing. I do want to cover up at least enough that I'm not showing my privates off. I see many options. I see a shirt that will be long enough that it will cover me. I grab it off the hanger to put it on and I start to smell something familiar, No, someone familiar. I grab the shirt and bury my nose in it and take a deep breath. That's my daughter! I would know that smell anywhere.

"Thank the Gods I found you." I said falling to my knees, my chest tight. "I may have been late but I found you." I said my voice breaking.

As i knelt there sobbing in to the shirt I feel strong arms wrap around me. I get pulled up to my feet and I face the human that brought me here. He pulled me in close holding me tight allowing me to cry all over his shoulder. My hands gripped his shirt as i sobbed uncontrollably

"Your daughter was loved by many and loved many herself." He said with a waiver in his voice. "She helped raise me and many others to forgive the humans for what they have done and to try and teach others to do the same."

I took a few deep breaths trying to get ahold myself.

"I'm glad she was able to find her way in this messed up world. I only wish I could have been there for her." I said through my sobs. I pulled away from him sniffling and calming down. I pulled the shirt over my head displaying all the wet spots I had made from my tears. "I'm going to try and get some sleep I think" I said to him.

"Okay, I will be downstairs if you need me." he said walking for the door.

I followed him admiring how kind he was even with his gruff exterior. I leaned on the door jam watching him walk away and started to feel lonely the further he got from me.

"Hey Sam?" I called down the hall "Would you mind keeping me company tonight?" he stopped and turned towards me.

"What what do you mean by that?" he asked looking sidelong at me.

"You are the only one that I know now" I said shifting my feet "And I don't want to be alone with my thoughts. I just want someone close by while I sleep." I said, again surprised by how much I trust him.

"I suppose I can do that." he replied walking back to my room. He strode into the room and sat down in the chair on the opposite side of the room from the bed. I layed down and attempted to fall asleep, but my mind would not shut down. Thoughts of my daughter, what i had done yesterday, my mate, and memories from long ago kept surfacing keeping me from sleeping. After a few hours of tossing and turning I felt the bed move with the weight of someone getting in. I look over and see Sam, fully clothed laying on his back next to me.

"Come here." he said patting on his chest. I rolled over and laid my head on his chest I could hear his heart beating rhythmically, chasing away my thoughts..

"Focus on my heart beat. Let it sooth you." he said stroking my hair. "I'll tell you what Abbedissa, your daughter, would tell me when I was unable to sleep. Fear not what tomorrow will bring or what yesterday has taken. Be thankful for what the Gods have given you today."

I do as he said and listen to his heart and contemplate the words of my daughter.

"She was a wise woman and I am proud to have been her mother." i whispered to him in the dark. "Thank you for her words." I said to him as I slipped into a deep sleep cradled in his arms.