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Given Up

Lights, blinding... Eyes, burning... Paws, strapped... Breath......... Easy?

I tried to force my eyes closed as their lids were peeled open and held in place, but the moment the human saw that I was conscious they stopped and said a few words of comfort, not that it would do me any good at this time. I opened my eyes to try and figure out where I was. Lifting my head off the table I opened my eyes, one of them rendered useless from the light moments before, but the other told me everything. I looked around the dull grey walls that were lined with tall pieces of machinery, countless beds, and lights that combined to be brighter than the sun. But as I looked around, I didn't see Nion.

I tried to pull my legs to underneath me, only to remember that they were bound to the soft cushion like my bed at home. I tried to turn my head around so I could see the other way, only finding the top of the next machine and the very edge of the next bed. But I couldn't see a pokémon.

Alright, I'm at a pokémon centre... I'm safe... Therefore Nion must be here somewhere and he would be getting some attention too. He'll be fine, and so will I... Nion please forgive me, why did I have to try and prove I was better than you? We'll never be fighting against each other again. Why did I let myself continue? But it's ok... We're he-... I'm here... I just hope you made it...

I rested my head back down on the bed, knowing that it was futile to try anything but wait. I was helpless, but I had taken Draye to Nion... He'd know what to do... But I only grabbed the ball... Why didn't I get a spray too! That would've saved him! Please tell me he's alright. Someone!

I heard the self-opening doors rattle behind me... Someone was coming. Again, I knew it was pointless to try and see who it was, so I took a deep breath, and lay still. If it was Draye - or Nion - they would've called out to me now as I was undoubtedly the only Absol in the entire facility... And I had no doubt in my mind that I have been the only one in its entire existence. But that fact wasn't going to help me now. The footsteps drew closer and closer. They were heavier than Draye's, no doubt about that... And since the being was only taking one step at a time, it couldn't be Nion. Although never had Nion had heavy steps. He always seemed to hold a serene grace with his steps... If only I could see him again!

I heard something at the end of my bed move as the thing stopped by the end of it. "Luyo... Am I correct?" I lifted my head to see who it was. A Chansey stood with a board of wood in its hands. I nodded slightly as it stared at me for a response. "Don't you know the rules of engagement?" I shook my head slightly, not wanting to waste words until I knew how Nion was. "I should have you know that the Luxray you fought against is fighting for his life."

No! Had I done it? Had I, throughout all of my original anger and hate, now done the unthinkable to who I had now grown to love? I wouldn't be able to bring myself to face today, or tomorrow... Or even the next moment... Please be ok Nion!

"I- is he o- ok?" I managed to stutter out, not knowing what was coming.

"I can't tell you Luyo. We need to run a few tests on him first. Although the only thing I can tell you is that he did lose a lot of blood... But you should already know that." The Chansey wanted to make me feel horrible for what I had done. And it was working better than I'm sure she expected. "Next time you decide to pick a fight, don't strike around the throat, tail, or feet. A major hit to any of those areas can be more than just an injury."

The Chansey turned away from me and started to walk away. "Where is he? When will you let me go? When can I see Nion? When will-"

"Quiet!" She shouted back at me. "Nion is in intensive care, I can't let you go without your trainer's permission, you can't see him until you've been let go and given trainers permission. And if you were going to ask when we'll know if he's ok, I can't tell you. That information cannot be released until his trainer says we can tell you."

"But my trainer is his trainer!"

"That is irrelevant. I can't do anything without his say so. You need some rest as you had two broken ribs and an accelerated heart... Probably from the Luxray's electricity..." That got the Chansey thinking for a moment. "Did he, by any chance, charge his attacks before he struck you with it?"

I thought for a moment, trying to re-live the battle like it had only happened moments ago, eventually, the thoughts came to me. "Y- yes... Yes! He did. But I blocked the attack..."

"You may have shielded yourself from the blow, but it wouldn't have stopped the damage. Granted, you were prepared for it, but the electricity had the same effect. If you had you have been struck with that same intensity again your heart could've stopped completely, then it would be you in his position right now." The Chansey stepped back towards my bed. "But you're here, and he's there. Now, you are going to start to feel the effects of your injuries soon, so relax and hopefully you won't cause any more damage. You were only a few inches away from having a punctured lung you know. So lie down and wait like we all have to. I'll send your trainer in the moment I leave so he can try to talk some sense into you. But right now we are doing all we can. I know that you're worried about the Luxray, and we are doing all we can. But having you demand answers only slows the process. Get as much rest as you can Luyo, otherwise you'll be here for longer than any of us want you to."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Just get some rest, and I'll tell you what I can, when I can." And with that, the Chansey left the room. Leaving me alone to my thoughts in the room of endless beds. I didn't care if there were other pokémon in the area, I didn't care if they were asleep either. I just wanted to know how Nion was, and why I drove myself to attack him in such a way.

I'm sorry Nion... Please forgive me...

* * *

Draye had come and gone, he said little, but explained more than I expected. He wasn't angry with me at all though, which was also strange. All he did was sit at the side of my bed, and stroke my fur, which had returned completely to its snow-white perfection. Draye spoke few words about Nion. That he was staying in room fifteen and that Draye was going to go see him after he left me. But he mainly spoke to himself with short phrases like 'what am I going to do with you?' and 'you just wait until we get home'. It wasn't said with any sense of anger or venom, but I knew that something was coming. The worst part about it was that I knew something was coming. Whether it be the moment we all leave the Pokémon Centre, or until we get back home, I didn't know. All I could hope for was that Nion made a fast recovery. I know that he's strong enough to pull through this, I just know it.

I looked down the long corridor towards the open window, trying to judge how long left until sunset, which would bring night, which would bring sleep, which would eventually lead to tomorrow, and hopefully, a chance to see Nion. I had memorised the room number to make sure that the moment I was set free, I would find him.

The self-opening doors rattled open again as the same heavy footsteps from before entered, walking down the corridor to the window, and closed it with a fair amount of force. As the Chansey had turned and started back for the room behind me, I had to ask a few more questions, I still wanted some answers.

"Why am I strapped down?" I forced out, trying my best to grab her attention. But she kept walking, ignoring me. I called out the same words louder as the Chansey continued on her way past me, this time, however, she turned and walked to the side of my bed again, in view of my face so I could at least see who I was talking to.

"You are strapped down for many reasons." The Chansey seemed reluctant to talk to me. "But, in short. It is to make sure you don't just get up and leave, so that you don't attack anyone else in this facility, and, so you can't cause any more harm to yourself."

"I never meant to harm Nion like that!" I shouted defensively. "I asked him to stop when I saw the injury, but he decided to fight on because I said to never back down right at the start!"

"You can't prove that Luyo." She said firmly. "The only other witness to the battle was the Luxray, and he's not awake to tell us that it's true." I really hated this Chansey now. "Now, you can either accept the facts, or, you can argue with me all day. And I'm sure we both know the better answer."

I just lay still. Silent. Not wanting to waste my breath. She was right. It was pointless for me to try and fight it. It was the rule. It is, the way it is. Sometimes I hated myself for running that same thought through my mind. Yet it had guided my life for as long as I could remember. I only wished that I knew how Nion was. For all I had to go off was the memory of what injuries I had caused him. And that wasn't going to help me gain any conclusion. I hated that I couldn't do anything. That I was helpless. Alone. The light that sank through the window began do dim. The day was drawing to a close. But was today the day I attack Nion? Or had I passed out for a full day in itself? I didn't know. Draye hadn't said anything and there was no indication of what day it was in the room-of-beds. Surely I hadn't been out for a day. That just isn't likely. I had been injured like that before, only once, but it was in the morning, and I had awoken at early afternoon. And since I had passed out in early afternoon, I assumed that it was still the same day. I hoped that it was the same day. Because the sooner the days pass, the faster my recovery, the quicker I see Nion. I hoped that he was alright!

* * *

Sunlight streamed through the far window, morning had come. I lay still, in peace, knowing that nothing could happen while I was at the Pokémon centre, that I would be forced to lay here until they decide I am fit to be released. That Draye would come in here again and try to get some sort of answer out of me as to why I would attack Nion to such a state, regardless of the fact that I could never communicate with him without a psychic pokémon in translation. I looked through the open window as the trees swayed in the gusty wind, rattling leaves and causing updrafts. It looked to be a pleasant day outside. But I was stuck inside this room with no-one else in sight.

I had just woken up, and already I was tired of boredom.

The same Chansey that seemed insistent on making me feel guilty for what I'd done wandered aimlessly past several times over the morning, I wondered if she actually had somewhere to be, or something to do, rather than just walking around the facility stopping at random beds to check on the fixed piece of wood, or wander around a curtain and make the same monotonous scratching sound that was he writing implement of humans. I couldn't live here even if I wanted to. The only good part about being here was the softness of the bed. But even that wasn't enough to make me at least want to stay.

I wanted to see Nion, I wanted to go home. And I wanted both of those things, now.

I picked my head up off the bed and glanced around the elongated room once more. Everything was the same, nothing looked even remotely exciting. And there wasn't even another pokémon to talk to during the time I was wasting here. I had absolutely nothing to do, and no-one to do it with.

Nothing too far from my old life.

But I had sworn never to go back that way. I would give anything to go back and not have that fight. Even if it meant for me to go back and live as I had for the year before, just so Nion could live like this never happened. I wanted to give him everything, just because of my mistake. But I was strapped to this bed, away from everyone but that damned Chansey who I'm sure wanted me dead. I would make my way to room fifteen sooner or later. I had to know what was going on with Nion. And I wasn't going to waste days just wondering. If Draye didn't say anything to do with Nion when he came in next, I would find a way to escape these bonds and find him myself. Injury, or no injury. I will find him.

The day dragged on slowly, but what surprised me the most was that Draye never came through the door. I didn't speak a word for most of the day, and the Chansey only passed by another two times during the afternoon. Once to check on one of the machines next to me, the other time was to help a new pokémon into the centre. Unfortunately for me, it wasn't conscious when it was brought in. But it was only a Rapidash, so I ignored it. Nion was the only one I wanted to see and that was final.

I didn't speak a word the entire day. The Rapidash that was brought in never woke up, and the self-opening doors behind me rattled every time the Chansey came through them. But I was alone. Lost within the depths that were my mind and my imagination. I didn't know anything about Nion besides what I had done. And if reactions were anything to go off then nothing was going the way I wanted it to. The only two signs to Nion's condition were the Chansey and Draye. But they only appeared last night and nothing told me anything I didn't know. I assured myself that everything would be fine, that Nion would make a full recovery and we'd go home and continue like nothing had ever happened. Like everything would be fine and go back the way they were two days prior. But that was my dream, and I knew for a fact that not all dreams became a reality.

* * *

Darkness covered the room. The Chansey sat at a table down the far end of the room beside the window. The reason? I only assumed it was because of the Rapidash in case he woke up. I had figured out its sex by overhearing a conversation between a nurse and the Chansey. But that didn't matter to me at this point in time. Nothing did. Yet the longer I heard nothing of Nion the better I believed his condition was getting. There was no urgency within the centre, no worry that something might go wrong, no sense of regret that something hadn't been done. I had my hopes for what would happen, and as far as I knew, things were looking up.

I didn't know much.

A loud click sounded overhead as a voice came from something behind me. "Code blue. Repeat, code blue. All available hands to room fifteen immediately."

I looked down the hall to see the Chansey get up and race as fast as it could, which wasn't anything more than a waddle, down the corridor and out the rickety doors.

Room fifteen... Immediate response... Nion!

I pulled against my bonds, digging my claws into the soft bed I lay upon. But nothing came free. I lifted my head to check how secure it was, but the straps reached underneath the table, out of sight. I pulled at the straps again, only moving my body further up and down the bed. But no freedom. I cried out for help, but nothing came. My calls were unanswered. Not even the Rapidash across the room awoke from my helpless wails for assistance. I was still trapped, a prisoner for my own good.

I panted heavily as I continued to try and find a way out of my bonds, finding nothing but the torn bed where my claws had already dug into. I released the tension from my legs once more, trapped with no simple way of escaping.

It was then I realised something. I reached down with my head to try and reach the straps, but they weren't sharp enough to gnaw through the tough leather. But that wasn't my last attempt. They hadn't had an Absol in here before, I turned my head sideways and the tip of my scythe-blade slipped underneath the strap. The same weapon that injured Nion to a now critical state, would be my saving grace for escape. But I had no time to think of the irony, maybe if I wasn't racing to try and find the one I have... Had! Almost killed. I gave a quick jerk of my head and the strap flung loose. Perfect. I quickly slashed the rest of the straps and jumped off the bed. I would've stopped to think about how much trouble I might've been in if I didn't have to see Nion and find out what code blue meant. Was he ok? No, of course not, why would they have a code for fine? Thoughts continued to flood my mind. Maybe I had caused the death of the only one that I had ever-. No! Stop it! Nion is fine! I know he is!

I shook my head once, trying to remember what was happening. I looked out the self-opening doors that were once behind me to see a revolving blue light on the roof in the next room.

Room fifteen!

I launched myself forward towards the doors, which just managed to open fast enough to let me through. I skidded to a stop directly underneath the spinning light, reading the signs that hung overhead before the entrance to each separate corridor. I looked left and read the sign. 'Rooms 25-50' it read. I looked forward to see the main entryway, and to my left read one to twenty-five. That was where I headed.

Shooting down the corridor I ignored any pain my chest sent. I knew it wouldn't be good for me, but I wasn't going to put myself over Nion again. Last time that happened I-.

Stop it!

He's going to be fine, I know it! Nion is strong, he'll be fine. I'm sure he will. Please let him be ok!

I ran past each room as fast as my body would allow me to. Five... Seven... Nine... I read the doors along the wall to my right. Eleven... Thirteen... I slowed my pace around the slow bend, coming to a complete stop before the flooded room fifteen. Humans and pokémon stood in the room. All of which I assumed were reacting to code blue. I needed to know what was going on. I stuck low to the ground and weaved between the feet of everyone until I was at the front of the pack. I stood to my normal height, which wasn't much taller than the bottom of the bed. There was a high-pitched tone that flooded the room, which I hadn't been able to notice above the talk of the people within. I looked towards what was making the noise, seeing Draye leaning over the bed in-front of the annoying machine.

The surrounding people started to leave the room, everyone seemed to not even see me in the process. Their expressions of sadness and loss common amongst each other. The annoying high-pitch tone was muted out as someone flicked a switch on the wall. It was then that everything hit me. Everything that I never wanted to know, became clear. Everything I never dreamed of happening, was happening. And it was all because of me. I had lost everything. And it was all my fault.

I took two steps towards Draye, my feet silent against the tiled floor. But the moment I came in contact with Draye, I was shoved back across the room into the wall, my paws having no grip on the floor. I slammed into the cream wall and whimpered as another wave of pain shot through my body. I crawled towards the corner where a small cushion had found the floor. I promptly lay down on it, and wished that it was all a dream. That every event never happened before yesterday. That I had never met Nion in the first place. That the one battle of pride, was my last, not his...

* * *