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_ Part 7 _

Walking through the lobby, it soon looked like there'd be a whole lot more to do here than just check out an observation deck. I sure appreciated that in light of the twenty ducat entry charge thrusted upon us!

Down on the ground floor, a whole exhibition had been put together about the local history, mostly with a business-type flavour. It started off with the story behind the Taheri family that owned and built the tower from the ground up, covering their 'humble beginnings in their homeland of Kharsia' a hundred years prior. Next came talk of the various business ventures they involved themselves in after emigrating north from the Ekrean continent, and their eventual growth to spread from here in Arlone to all over Linvendia.

Everything included a bunch of period photographs, many featuring various members of the family. Geckos. That sure caught me off guard. We didn't see many, if any geckos back in Velika, nor Ekreans full stop for that matter. Too cold in the winter for 'em, no doubt.

Save for the section about the bomb damage Unity Tower suffered, and the subsequent addition of the observation deck, this place offered a welcome relief from all the war talk we'd been a party to.

All in all, the exhibition helped us kill a good couple of hours, by which time we decided to supplement our early lunch with a late one at the bronze-accented 'Unity Cafe', before making our way over to the bronze-plated elevators. It wasn't hard to start noticing a pattern...

Riding fifty-seven floors upwards damn sure took a while. I mean, it didn't come as a surprise, but I don't think I'd ever experienced close to a full minute of constant motion in an elevator before. We waited on and on, cramped and pressed up tight against the wall. The sense of relief when those doors finally opened was near tangible, and the view revealed to us from the observation platform above was made all the more sweeter.

Up here, inside a gaping circular deck, we were higher than all but a couple of other skyscrapers within view. Granted, I'd probably been higher before, given this'd be like the sixth or seventh storey back home... it was tough to know for sure without something to reference. But screw it, whatever the case, no chance would you ever get a vantage point like this back there.

Put to scale, the tallest building in Zelengorod stood barely half as tall as this. No chance would you get to see the whole city all at once like we could here.

Arlone's sprawl truly amazed. Sat upon a river with hills to the east, mountains to the north. Forests and flatlands to the south and west. The structures of civilisation reached out to touch it all at once.

I turned full circle with barely an effort, but with that simple motion, I'd cast a view over close to fifteen million people. Their homes, their workplaces, their whole lives.

"Man, this is wild!" Sasha flashed in front of me, darting from one side of the deck to the other. Camera in paws, he snapped off photo after photo. He meshed flawlessly with the dozens of other tourists up here. I figured I should try to do the same. This view we had absolutely demanded it.

Everything we'd seen and done so far that day had hogged my focus. Being up here in relative peace, distant chatter excepted, allowed me to relax and loosen. To try and direct my attention elsewhere... everywhere.

But, even with the city laid out here in its entirety, it didn't take long to zero in on my most pressing of needs.

I turned away from the glass, crossing the giant compass printed here underfoot. A short walk carried me to the southeast. More towers, more offices, parks and roads revealed themselves, and even more houses and homes far beyond. One of those homes in one of those far off neighbourhoods was theirs... my parents'. They were here somewhere, amongst these countless structures of brick and grey. Completely unaware...

I found Sasha to the north, still hopping around, still playing tourist with the rest. From day one, months and months ago, I'd wanted to keep this personal. Remain the only person in all of Velika aware of this trip in its entire detail. Best laid plans seldom stay that way...

The city itself told me I couldn't do this without him knowing. I'd have to disappear for hours to make it all the way to Victory Hill and back again. No chance by any stretch of the imagination would he not notice. I had to tell him. Everything. He might not take it well, if we got right to the heart of it, but what was he gonna do? Tell Ma and Dad back home? Sasha wasn't the type to grass, and even if he did, it wouldn't stop anything. No way could he stop me. I'd have come all the way here on my own if need be, and I'd damn sure take what little remained of the journey alone, too.

A piercing, gods awful noise cut straight through me. It flanked my ears, bore down central and forced the bridge of my muzzle to crease and collapse with the strength of my bared teeth. 'What the fuck is that!?' is what I wanted to bark out, but the line between my brain and mouth had failed completely.

"Everyone, please..." I forced my eyes open. A lady panther dressed in security uniform hurried us all towards her. "Make your way downstairs. Do not use the elevators..."

"Kaz?" Sasha bounded towards me. "Come on!"

Whatever the hell was happening was nothing good. Panic started to grip me. Sasha, too. His head was darting this way and that. The crowd ahead of us didn't look to scared. That kept me from losing it completely...

"You guys aren't from around here..." A skunk appeared from somewhere, shuffling along beside us. His calm smile and soft, musical accent did more than anything else to bring my heart rate back down from orbit. "Am I right?"

"What is happening?" Finally I managed to drag something from my muzzle.

"Ah. "He waved a dismissive paw. "It's nothing."

"This sounds more than nothing," Sasha snapped.

"It's a drill." The guy's smile grew into a grin. "Just an air raid drill. They happen here every three months, at a random time on a random day." He checked his watch. "Looks like it's 2pm on a Monday this time."

"And right when we are visiting," I added, grumbling.

"Yeah, you're definitely out of luck on this one."

"And you," Sasha quipped.

"Good point. I only came up here for some reference pictures."

We moved down the stairs from the deck to the main floor. The crowd split, moving off towards each of the the main stairwells.

"So where are we going?" I asked.

"Shelter. Downstairs. Just like if Velika were attacking for real again."

Thank the gods for fur, because I'm damn sure the blood drained from my face completely. I watched Sasha watching me. Neither Sasha or I knew how to react, aside from starting down the stairs.

"My name's Patrice by the way." The skunk offered a paw. "I work at one of the offices here."

"Kaz." I took it, shook. "This is Sasha."

They both reached past to share their own greeting.

"Nice to meet you both..." One floor down. Fifty-six to go. "So where_are_ you guys from?"

The droning siren got louder with each round of the stairwell. It was tough to focus, and to make ourselves heard, but that'd only excuse my silence for so long. My mouth opened. 'Velika' hung at the tip of my tongue... but there were so many people around us, all within earshot. The air raid siren continued, on and on. "...Bolstrovo."

"Bolstrovo, huh? Cool."

Hurrying down fifty-plus flights of stairs soon got you dizzy. That, plus all the workers we had join us tourists from the offices we passed made it tough to talk. Probably for the best...

We made it to the ground floor in just a few minutes; rapid time given how high up we'd been. Though I'd worry if this attack were for real.

More security staff guided us through the lobby, past a number of signs also directing us to the 'Safety Shelter.' The real action however was unfolding outside.

Cars and buses parked up anyplace they could. Drivers and passengers alike piled out to join the crowds. Police waved them down the street with one paw, securing their rifles with the other. I saw military, too. Their bigger guns stood out clearly. Even with everything else going on.

"They're heading to the local metro station," the skunk, Patrice, said. "Safest place if you're stuck outside."

Sure this was a drill, but everyone seemed so amazingly calm. There were police and army and sirens and all sorts, but people kept to their fast walk throughout. I'd have gladly sprinted and pushed my way into the shelter entrance just to get away from this damn wailing...

We went down way further than I'd expected. A few more flights of stairs took us to where cold fluorescent lighting and stone walls greeted us. Dozens, hundreds gathered, huddling around, taking up what free space they could. We were a few of the last to arrive. The muffled wailing from above stopped shortly after we'd squeezed into a spot between the wall and the stair railings. Everyone around us were standing loose, chatting, one step from hanging about and shooting the breeze. I guess me, Sasha and Patrice were, too... cramped conditions permitting. Again, only the gods knew how differently this picture would play out in 'reality'.

"It won't be long," Patrice explained, tugging his big, white striped tail into our alcove. The strength of his body spray prickled my nose. "A few minutes at most."

"This is good." Sasha grunted; the unlucky one pressed between two walls, a railing and me. "Because this is not a happy time."

"No, you're right. I felt the same after I moved here from my hometown in Galesia. It's all pretty stupid and outdated, but hey... It's a thing, I guess."

"Definitely it is a 'thing'..." Sasha forced his tail free from between us both.

"Tell me, guys." I turned to our local... Guide? Chaperone? "I have to know, 'cos I've wanted to visit there since forever. What's it like to be normal size and living in Bolstrovo?"

"Yes, Kaz..." Sasha's tone said more than a hundred words could have. "How would you explain it?"

My eyes stayed fixed to Patrice. "It... You really..." The ones developing in the back of the head told me all about Sasha's glare. "It isn't as strange as you might think."

"Hey, I don't think it's strange, but it's gotta be all types of different, right?"

"Of course..." I hacked clear my drying throat. "But it is something that you are used to, or get used to."

"So like... is everything their size? Or are there parts that're normal? Can you get around easy?"

"In Zel--our hometown... mostly everything is, as you put it, 'their' size... Homes and buildings. Roads. All things. Except for the Polcian districts...

"Polcian districts?" He looked at me sideways. "I thought that was more of a Velikan thing?"

"Yes, yes... they are, for sure. A small number are in Bolstrovo also... but those are more historic... and have another name." Gods damn... Thank you, high school geography class.

"Right! Well, cool, but in that case... how do you guys get around? I get it that you got all those paths and stuff, but can you get to work and all with 'em? Do you need friends to carry you?"

"We can get around just fine. No help needed, but friends may certainly offer." I managed to keep my laugh in check. "In our area, there are a lot of facilities. Paths to the stations where we board buses and trains with sections just for us."

"That's a trip." His beaming could have lit up our dim corner here. "There's just so much I could ask you... If you guys don't mind?"

Yeah, I minded a whole lot. Not as much as Sasha. He'd decided staring at the floor, the walls and the ceilings were way more fun that this descent into our Bolstrovan 'homeland'. I had noone to blame but myself for this, granted... but if it wasn't for this tight space in this crowded, musky shelter during this gods for-fucking-saken practice drill, I'd have been out of here in no time flat.

But, in polite and organised fashion, we marched through Patrice's questions and fulfilled at least some part of his fantasy. I did feel a hint of guilt over this. He didn't seem like a bad guy, and he wasn't to know half of what was going on in my head and in my life right now... If he did, I doubt he'd have been so casual in trampling all over them.

"Were your parents from Bolstrovo, too?"

My mind sheared, thoughts branching off in all directions. Which to follow? "I live with my adopted parents, family... They are... uh, Bolstrovan... large Bolstrovan, I mean."

Whether he realised or not, Sasha dived in to rescue me. "I live also with my parents. But they are our size."

"Oh man, alright." Patrice peered past me. Thank the gods, I could lean back and take a breather. "How does that work?"

"How does that work, what?"

"Do you live in... like, one of those apartment buildings built into bigger buildings, or one of those normal Polcian districts?"

"No. Not those. We live in a house for our size, but, this is in a... group... Kaz?"

"Complex," I confirmed.

"Yes, complex. My house is in a complex on the same road as Kaz's house, where the buildings are bigger."

"That sounds amazing." Patrice's big tail flicked and swayed, bumping us all in this tiny space. "When you say complex, do you mean... like a neighbourhood?"

"Yes. I suppose. There are stores. No school or a thing such as this. We attended regular school. Work jobs at regular office. We live lives that are regular. Not seperate like some others who come to live in our city."

Patrice's eyes shifted to me. I never thought I'd be so happy to hear yet another droning signal.

We all adjusted to the normal lighting flickering on. Everyone's colours grew bolder. A voice came over loudspeakers, past the softer siren to confirm that, 'The test drill is now complete'.

One by one we all scaled the steel stairs back to the surface. I could hear Patrice behind me, gently explaining to Sasha that we could all return to our lives as normal now. I sure looked forward to that.

"It was nice to meet you guys," he stated, offering a paw. "I hope that experience wasn't too unsettling for you?"

Sasha shook first. "No. It was fine. Very little space, but no problem."

I watched the business people and tourists spread out through the lobby. Repopulating the city.

"Good to meet you, Kaz." I spun back around to see Patrice's smile, and his black paw reaching out to me. "I hope you guys enjoy the rest of your vacation here."

"Yeah... You, too." We shook fast. "Hey, Sasha. We should get out of here... we'll miss our train otherwise."

"...Right." He stared at me blankly. "You are right."

"No problem." Patrice stepped back. "These drills sure do come around at the worst times, I can vouch for that."

"Thanks for your help." I retreated as fast as I could without looking rude. "Enjoy Ve--Bolstrovo if you get there."

He waved, smiled, and turned to head off on his own way. Our cue to do the same.

Those wide glass doors were a blessing. I could breathe so much easier outside. The city slowly got back up to speed around us. Now for us to do the same, I hoped.

"Back to the hotel?" I suggested.

Sasha just nodded.

"Bus?"

"I'm fine to walk," he grunted, stepping forward to take the lead.

Sasha kept quiet the whole way back towards the city centre. While I didn't mind the silence, sounds of the city permitting, it was never a positive sign when it came to him.

I did what I could to gauge his mood by his fast walk, his blank look and his static tail. There was nothing for it, though. I'd have to ask. "Are you good?"

"I'm fine." He brushed past some shrew unlocking his pedal bike from its rack, knocking him off balance.

"Hey..."

"Sorry," I told the guy, speeding up to catch Sasha. "What's up?"

"Like I told ya, I'm fine. Looking forward to getting back to Bolstrovo, I guess."

I cringed and sighed all at once. "I didn't want to tell that guy that we were Velikan with that many people around."

"That's cool," he snapped back. "Whatever makes you happy's fine with me."

"We were in a basement 'cos of a drill in anticipation of something that our home country might do--"

"Why you telling me this?"

"You're clearly pissed off at me is why."

"Listen." Finally he slowed to a regular walking pace. My calves thanked him. "I just wanna start having some fun, y'know. Try another cool restaurant, check out the night scene tonight. Do anything that doesn't involve dwelling on the past and all the pain and shit that's buried back there."

I understood his annoyance, his upset at all of this. After all, I didn't like hiding that I'm Velikan, either. Especially given the minority of people back home who'd dispute that fact. But here, in this situation, it just made things easier. Easier... that seemed to be the excuse for a lot of what I'd been doing with this trip so far. That needed to change.

"Hey, man..." He rushed a glance. "I, uh... We should have a chat about the trip."

"What about it?"

Yeah, what about it? "Stuff to do... stuff we should do."

"You mean you've finally got something you wanna do?" He scoffed and brightened for the first time in a while. "I'll appreciate the input if it helps me not have to think up all the ideas."

"It's something I've wanted to do for a while, actually."

"Oh?" That stopped him. Stopped both of us. We'd frozen while the people, the cars and everything else around us kept moving. "What is it?"

I found myself on the spot. It was cold here. But at least he didn't look so pissed any more. Right or wrong? Tough or simple? "Will be easier to talk about it later. Back at the hotel."

"Alright." We started on our way again. "Sounds good."

Of course I took the easy out... but it was a start. Plus, I think I'd managed to help Sasha calm down. No mean feat at all.

It was good to get back to our room again. We'd only been gone for a morning and the early afternoon, but it sure felt far longer. I guess the same held true for Sasha, too. All that talk about not wanting to be stuck inside had long gone.

We chilled out here for a couple of hours, long enough for the blue sky outside to turn two shades darker, and those big, flashing signs to grow even brighter. Everything and everyone here carried on as per normal, like that whole drill episode earlier hadn't happened. Impressive and baffling all at once.

There hadn't been a single mention of it on TV as far as I could see, and Sasha had thoroughly checked almost every channel before settling on some travel programme... with a difference.

The whole show involved some local personality journeying to far-flung destinations to experience what they had to offer. This particular episode followed the caribou on a trip around Bolstrovo and Vodaskal, and showed him in near-constant marvel at exploring all these towns and cities built for 'giants'.

Watching him did raise a smile or two. In a lot of ways, he and I were the same; amazed and confused by the simplest things. He enjoyed the smaller bus compartments way more than I expected, not to mention all the walkways needed to get around. A far cry from the freedom to go anywhere, anyhow like here in Polcia.

Sasha burst out laughing at the sight of the host stumbling off of a busy walkway interchange. I couldn't resist a chuckle of my own... his blurted squeal of shock was priceless.

"Guy's such a tourist," Sasha crowed.

I snorted, but admittedly, I had some sympathy. We'd experienced our fair share of embarrassing moments here so far, too.

The show cut away to an ad break. Sasha shifted his way up from his bed.

"Had enough?"

"No. Need a slash," he replied. "That okay?"

"What if it's not?"

"Then you'd best find me a bucket or something."

"Pass."

He smirked, muzzle between index and little fingers. The bathroom door opened and closed behind him. Another chance of space alone in the bedroom.

Laptop open, I spread the papers I'd been reading further across my bed. So far, I'd managed to plot a journey all the way to my birth parents' house. An hour and fifty in total to get there by the metro; three train changes and a fifteen minute walk as a final leg. It could've been better, but also worse, I guess. Somehow.

I rummaged through my paperwork, plucking out a page from the search agency's report. My parents I knew all about... relatively speaking. I had their names, their address, and their ages at the time of the last census four years ago. What I'd give to have had as much information for the next section. 'Dependents'...

'Dependents: one (information on minors restricted)'

I had a brother... or sister. Art, Luka and Nadia all turned to me with cold gazes from within myself. My heart clenched while my head saw logic. This sibling was blood... I hoped my heart would forgive me.

Pascal Tasse's 'Embranchment' waited for me on the bedside table. I reached out to set it with the rest of papers. Dated and browned, one last bookmark remained to be freed. It stood out clear amongst these piles of white.

"Y'know, there's a part of me that's looking forward to getting home."

Every strand of fur stood on end. Near breakneck force pulled me up from my study. Sasha strolled back into the room, crashing down with a leap onto his bed. "You... what?"

"I said I'm looking forward to getting back to Zelengorod."

My paws scurried across the papers, gathering them into a heap while I tried to keep cool. "Zelengorod... why?"

"Yeah. It's been interesting here, but... this ain't home."

"I figure..." Sasha noticed my loud paws. They stopped dead. "Home's where you sleep at night, right?"

"Maybe. Not so sure I could ever see that as being someplace like here."

"Why?"

"Why d'ya think? We're just like him." He threw a paw towards the travel caribou on TV. "We don't fit in."

"Yeah, we're tourists. We'd still be like him if we went to Bolstrovo or Vodaskal, too."

"I hope we'd be less shit at changing walkways," he shot back with a snort. "TV, turn off."

We had only silence between us now. Even the city outside, glowing and flashing away through the open blinds, gave way for the conversation to come. "You're not having a good time here?"

"It's not so much that..." His sprawled out arms and legs pulled in. Tail tucked, too. "I was with you back when you were talking about visiting the place that we came from originally. I figured it'd be cool to come see it for myself. Get right deep into the history and all."

"We've sure as hell done that."

"In spades."

"So then what's the issue?"

"I dunno..." He started to shift, drawing himself smaller. "I'm just feeling like it was a mistake."

"For real?" I watched his head hang. "That's fine if so, but I figured you'd have loved the adventure and all. After all, you're the one who hates being cooped up for too long." His finger traced circles atop his duvet. "Well, hey... You were saying we could make this into a kind of tour. Maybe we can get out into the surrounding areas while here. The outer neighbourhoods." No response. "Or possibly some of the towns nearby. Clondare... Portallin, places like that might be better. More countryside, less big city madness."

"Maybe." His circling finger jabbed downwards. "I don't think it's a city versus country thing, though."

"No?"

"Would it be back home?" My silence said 'no', his eyes replied 'exactly'. "Look at what happened at the bar yesterday. The tours earlier... They still have air raid practices here for gods' sake."

I waved that away. "It's an old hang up."

"Oh, you think?"

"That Patrice guy sure didn't think they were worth it anymore."

"Betting others probably do."

"Doubt that, too. Did you not see how fucking casual everyone was about it? It was less ducking for cover and more waiting for a bus to turn up. The worst part about that whole thing was being cramped up the whole time."

"And yet." That finger lifted, jabbed right at me. "You were _still_afraid to admit to him where we actually come from."

Boom. That put me on the ropes. "We've been over this..."

Sasha sat up to face me. "Yeah, and we're going over it again. Right now."

"I doubt he'd have cared." I slid away from the space between our beds. "Probably would've been just like that girl from the sandwich place."

"Doubt it. She was too busy checking you out to care."

Best to let that pass. "Look, after everything that got said on that tour... I don't know, I just wanted to stay on the side of caution. Stay safe--"

"Exactly," he snapped. "Safe."

"Look, whatever the case, this is where we come from originally--"

"No, it's--"

"If anywhere should feel like home--"

"This isn't where we come from." Sasha shot up to stand between our beds. "And it sure as fuck ain't home, either."

"All I meant was--"

"I come from Velika, not Polcia!"

"If you let me fin--"

"Anyway, since when do you care so damn much about 'where we come from'?"

"This_is_ where our families come from originally." I pushed myself onto my feet, keeping my bed between us both. "If you go back far enough. Our ancestors came--"

"Ancestors?" He spat that at me. Like a bad word. "You sound like Mr. Marin, picking us out in class, harping on about our 'ancestors' and other junk. What the fuck happened to 'Velikan born and raised', huh?"

"It's still there--"

"The sizeist pricks back home would be having a fucking field day hearing you talk like this."

No point trying to argue the point with Sasha in this state. I stepped back, rested against the black wood desk beneath the window. Electric blue from the ad across from our room danced across its surface. Maybe it helped to calm Sasha down.

"Anyway... forget all that." He wrapped his arms around himself. "I just don't want any more trouble here after what happened in that the bar."

"It was one shitty barman and some loudmouth with a brain power problem. Hardly a big deal."

"Isn't it?"

"Compared to what we've had from those 'sizeist pricks' back home, no."

"That's not the same."

"How so? Either way, you shut them up quick enough--"

"Because we're the same as people here!" One solid step followed the other. They saw him away from our beds. "But still they treat us differently. They treat us worse than ninety-nine percent of Velikans back home... We're better off there than we ever would be here."

"There are sizeists, speciests and shitty people everywhere. You'll never escape them."

"Obviously."

"There are plenty of problems in Velika for people our size... even inZelengorod."

"Well, of course..." He narrowed his eyes at me. "What are you talking about, exactly?"

That blue light glowed brighter. Flashed gently. The wrong colour to warn me off. "It's all so limited."

His eyes remained as slits while his muzzle twisted up around the idea. "Limited, how?"

I huffed, trying to gather and free my thoughts. There were so many words, but only so many for me to grasp. "I just... I feel like we're all so limited. Restricted."

"Man, we've got it better than most of the rest of Velika back home. There's so much being done for us in Zelengorod. All the developments--"

"Yeah, that's great and all, but all the money in the world isn't gonna get us on the same level as everyone else." Sasha gawked at me like I'd grabbed his world and dumped it upside down. "We live in Rechnaya Roscha... We live in our Polcian-friendly neighbourhood, working at a Polcian company, looking forward to one day affording and moving into a Polcian-sized apartment, if they ever manage to build enough."

"Don't make it sound too depressing, shit."

"But don't you agree?" I stamped forward, swinging an arm around. "Do we fit in there any better than we do here? There must be more to life than what we have back in Velika!"

The shock never left Sasha's face. This was a hole I'd never been down. I wasn't sure there'd be any way back to the surface.

"What the hell..." His words came breathlessly. "Where... what's brought this on?"

"It's not like there's any shortage." The bed caught me. My head sank down towards my lap. "Look at Niko. He's all set down in Novolesk. Great job, prospects..."

"Yeah, he worked for it, but anyone could've done what he's done."

"You think?"

"Sure." Sasha scoffed, getting back that scowl of distaste. "No-one's gettin' anything handed to 'em."

"Niko didn't have to think twice about everything," I shot back. "Did he?"

"I don't know what he had to think about--"

"He didn't have to think about how accessible things would be for him at uni there. How accepting people would be. Not like us... finding mixed-size dorms that didn't suck as bad as those mouldy downscaled student apartments."

"They were--" I jumped back up. "At least in Polcia, _everything_is for people our size. You can grab a taxi, or even _drive_here! You wouldn't need help from friends or family... You wouldn't need to rely on the metro or buses, walkways or whatever."

"Who the fuck needs a car in Zelengorod with all that traffic," Sasha countered. "Trains work fine--"

"But you'd have the option!" I threw my arms out. "You wouldn't have to stick to the same route as everyone else. You could just... get out. Get in a car and just drive... Go someplace without wondering if there's a place set aside for us. Get up and leave that damn fishbowl."

"Tell me one place in Zelengorod that doesn't think of us--"

"Zelengorod, Zelengorod," I chided. "There's more to the world than Zelengorod! Go an hour down the train line, and it's far from the same. What kind of world is it where we have to use travel apps to show us places that serve people our size?"

"At least we've got that. It's more than they had in our parents' day." Sasha shook his head, bumping past me. "You're telling me this is better?" He held a paw towards the window. "At least we've got space back home."

"There's more to the world than Zelengorod, Arlone. Stop thinking small--"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise I was talking to some kinda jetsetter over here."

"There'd be opportunities here! No ceilings, no limitations just because of our height--"

"Stop talking shit," Sasha snapped. His scowl became baring of teeth. "Fuck, I don't like my job, but it's not a damn thing to do with my height why I'm doing it."

"No?"

"No!" He stomped forward. Threw his muzzle at mine. "Stop talking us down!"

My tail lashed "Talking who down?"

"Us! People our size." Sasha's ears pointed. "We can be whatever we want to be."

"You believe that?"

"My Dad's a dentist, just like he wanted to be. Eva's gonna be a nurse--"

"You gotta keep talking about my ex all the damn time?"

"Right now I damn well do, because it proves my point we can do anything if we work at it. And it proves that there's plenty of jobs out there, like those, that we do fuckin' amazing at because of our size!"

I was losing this. This wasn't how I'd planned my talk with Sasha. "It's not just about that. There's more--"

"You're right, it's not." His backhanded cuff rocked my shoulder. "Let's look at how people treat us here."

I batted him away. "For the love of the gods."

"No." He drove back forward again. "Fucking look at the facts. We get treated like we're stupid for one. Look at the guy next door, when we were trying to get in here for the first time. Or the dicks laughing at us trying to get going in the taxi from the station."

"What dicks?"

"You didn't notice?" I threw out my arms. "They had a good time laughing at us from the pavement."

"Since when have you cared what people think?"

His fist slammed the back of the desk chair. "I damn sure care when it comes to people thinking they're better than us! Like those wastes of fur at the bar... giving us crap because we're Velikan... talk with an accent."

"Like that doesn't happen back home. Have you forgotten Vadik from uni? The way he acted around the dorm that first year before he got kicked out?"

"How the hell am I gonna forget that? Having to climb out my damn bedroom window in the middle of winter because he'd blocked the door..."

"Exactly."

"Yeah, he got what was coming to him because of guys like Niko coming to help us out, and Isaak and the others from the dorm... Y'know, other larger Velikans."

"No doubt! But it's not like that's an isolated incident. You always get a few people throwing you funny looks around 'bout sizeists. I hate them, too, but we dealt with them. Always."

"We shouldn't have had to."

"No, but that's life! Besides, how many is a few? Out of how many that_are_ on our side?"

"Enough--"

"You'd wanna uproot yourself and come all the way out here to live 'round uppity Polcians?" All 'cos of the occasional prick like Vadik causing us shit?"

"At least it'd be someplace else!" My voice strained. Throat stang. "A place like this, you'd get used to it. You could blend in."

"I don't wanna blend in!" Sasha's arm swung. The chair clattered over. "Velika's home. It ain't perfect, but it's good enough for me."

"I'm not you!"

"Thank fuck."

I shoved him. "Fuck you."

"Fine." His vicious smirk cut into me. "All that shit about opportunities, sizeists... you'd always be an outsider here."

"At least I can speak the language."

"Oh, is this you shitting on the Polcians swarming their way over back home, or are you having a try at me?"

"Why not both?"

"You're a fucking sellout."

"Sellout!?"

"Yeah!" He pushed me. I fell back onto my bed. Paperwork scrunched to break my fall. "Hiding where you come from. Forgetting where you come from, and everything we've been through."

I reached out. Found my book. "What about what I've been through?" I hurled it. Sasha dodged. Stepped back. I leapt up to fill the gap. "It's easy for you! Always has been! You've got..."

"Got what?" He roared, eyes like fire.

"Move." I tried to push past.

"Got what!?"

"Get outta my fucking way!" My arms tensed. Rage hauled him aside. The room calmed. I carried myself to the bathroom and locked the storm away.

Every breath quivered. My arms trembled. They barely supported me above the sink I'd been clamped to for the last... I don't know how long.

Red eyes glared back from the mirror. They ached. Like everything else. My head darted in all directions. I struggled to follow it. To catch and reel it back in.

Sellout? Sellout!? What the hell kinda talk is that? I owed Velika nothing. I was born there, left there, and been the one to suffer the ordeal. Ma and Dad... they'd done so much. They saved me. Helped me to feel... normal. My whole family had. Hell, if I owed anybody, it would be them!

The next breath carried with it a whimper escaping the pain in my chest. I wasn't sure I recognised the red panda before me. The damp fur of his face told me Sasha was right. I needed to go home. Forget everything... even when every thread of my being said different. I gripped the sink tight. Teeth gritted. I'd come all this way. I had to do this. At the very least, I had to ask my birth parents... why?

I cupped my paws beneath the automatic tap. Soaked my face. Soothed and cooled my eyes. Time to turn around and face the door. This wasn't a vacation for me, not any longer. I had to come clean with Sasha. I had do what I'd come here to do; with or without his blessing.

"Door, unlock."

Gloom had overtaken our room. The silence rivalled that of the bathroom. The door slid closed behind me. Darkness grew. A few steps carried me out of the entry hall. Allowed me to see the aftermath. The desk chair still upturned. My book still face down and open.

Paperwork had scattered during the argument. Most had fallen to the floor around my bed... where I found Sasha now sitting instead.

Hunched over, the glow of my laptop lit up the white of his muzzle. My heart sank. A chill ran down my spine to the depths of my tailbase. It took far too long to call out, "What are you doing?"

"What is all this?"

I marched towards him, almost jumping his bed to mine. "I said what--" Not all of my papers had fallen to the carpet. Some had crumpled, folded, but still remained right there... right within Sasha's reach. That included the browned document sagging from his grasp. The sight left me paralysed.

"Who the hell is... Kevin Tressider? What kinda name's that--?"

"Give it back!" I snatched it away. My laptop, too.

"Dylan and Jennifer..." Another page laid exposed beside him. "Who are these people?"

Something inside threw me forward. I pinned Sasha down. All my power went into grabbing up every remaining page around him. Not soon enough.

"You've got map printouts. Directions on your computer..." He struggled free from beneath me. "What the fuck is going on?"

"Nothing!"

On his feet, he towered over me now. "Who are these people!?"

"Doesn't matter!"

"Clearly it does!"

"Just... drop it," I tried shouting. It trembled out more like a whine.

"Come on. You're here acting like some sorta... government spy; I ain't dropping shit."

"You're gonna have to."

"There's nothing 'bout this that's normal, Kaz. Tell me what in the hell is going on here."

I should've stayed in the bathroom. My tail tightened into my lap. Came close to constricting me. I wanted to hide. I wanted to pull up these covers, throw them over me and pray it'd make all this go away. The lights from outside had grown bolder beneath the darkening sky. They brought the glow back to Sasha's muzzle fur. Heightened the intensity of his stare hanging over me.

"What the fuck's going on--!?"

"They're my parents!"

The impact of those words hovered for an eternity. It'd thrown Sasha backwards, turned his staring into a twisted, bemused glare. His mouth danced around as if trying to work out which one of a hundred questions to ask. "Your... parents?" I made myself give him the shortest nod. "...Birth parents?"

"Yeah..." I sucked in the tense air around us. Blasted it from my nose and tore these next words from within. "I'm here to find them. Meet them."

Sasha peered around as if hunting for an escape. I could sympathise. He reached down for the desk chair, taking great care to right and settle himself down in it. "Why?"

I couldn't answer that now. Just to admit what I had done was enough of a battle.

"Is this why you wanted to come all along?"

Yes. "No."

"Do your parents know?"

"No!"

"D'ya think I'm stupid?"

"What?"

"You've got all those papers. Directions... a metro route all planned out on your laptop--"

"Why were you on there in the first place?"

"Same reason as before; to check the hockey results. Dynamo lost by the way." He sat forwards. Paws clasped. That stare returned. "Wanna answer my question now?"

"Which one?"

"Any'll do."

"Fine..." He wanted. I did, too. I'm not sure what for. "I'm him."

"You're who?"

My eyes closed. I allowed my papers to slip. "That's my birth certificate... I'm Kevin Tressider." Paperwork shuffled. My ears twitched to every move Sasha made. "That's my birth name."

"Do your parents know?"

"Of course... They don't know I have it, though." I opened my eyes to find Sasha staring. "I found it... at home. That's what started this all off."

"Wait, I don't understand. You knew you were adopted."

"No shit." I scoffed. "I mean that's how I found out my parents' names... My name."

"You couldn't have just... Asked for it?"

"I didn't want them to know."

"Know what?"

My sigh carried far. I rocked with frustration. We were going in circles. I wanted out, but I had no place else to go.

"I'd always wanted to visit Polcia y'know... see it. The sights and all." I allowed myself a seat on Sasha's bed. We sat face to face, though my eyes found my lap more than him. "But the chance to find my parents was a big reason for going through with it. Coming to Polcia... Now, it's more to know about where I come from. Find that missing part of who I really am."

More silence. More tension. Only the heaviness of my breathing could cut through it. Until Sasha's response.

"Like I said." I watched his paws rolling in his lap. "I believe that we're Velikan. Born and raised there, remember? Just like we told everyone who used to give us a hard ti--"

"You live with your family," I stormed. "Easy for you to say all that."

"So do you," he snapped back. "Even if they're not your... birth family, they're the ones who've been there for you. They don't deserve being kept in the dark over all this."

"I can't tell them! And you can't, either. It'd kill them to know... That's why I wanted to do this alone. Without anyone knowing."

"If that's how you feel... Is this all really worth it? Really?"

"Yes," I insisted, forcing my all into it. "I've always wondered... what might've been. I want to know who the people that gave me up are."

"They can't be worth knowing if they just upped and left you behind."

The room turned. My paws clenched the bedsheets. Air burned white hot. The floor boomed with the power of my legs stomping to stand. "How would you know!?"

"How would you?" He raced up to close the distance, muzzle a measure above mine. "Face it. Your real parents are back at home. Your brothers and sister, too. They're the ones that care.They're the ones hoping you're okay, completely oblivious to all this shit you're pullin'."

"I know! And I care about them all, too--"

"Then why in the gods' names are you chasing after people who upped and left and you? Never once even bothered to try and find you?"

"Fuck off," I groaned, pushing myself past him all over again. "You don't understand."

"You're damn right I don't!"

"Then stop trying to talk and act like you do!"

I marched into the middle of the room. Stopped with the realisation I still had nowhere but the dead TV and dull beige wallpaper to run to.

"_Real_family." Sasha hacked out a scolding cackle of a laugh. "A real family wouldn't have abandoned you to run away and come back here." His own curt, forceful breathing slowed. Grew shallow. "And what about me? Am I not 'real', either?"

"This isn't anything to do with you."

"Ain't it? The way you talk, anyone and everyone back home is dispensable. You'd happily up and leave to come to this place. Live closer to your so called real parents--"

"That's not it!" I turned at speed. My tail lashed, slamming and shifting the TV. "I just want to know--"

"So what about me?" I expected a scowl. A sneer. All I found were wide, wanting eyes. "We've always been boys. Me and you, we've stuck together always. Was that a waste of time? Was that all just... disposable?"

My teeth bit down on themselves. I took a huge clump of head fur in paw. The carpet laid bare before me. No answers to be found there.

"Tell me!"

"There's more than you!"

Those four words went up like a wall between us both. Sasha and I might as well have been standing either side of the Sovereign Ocean. I would never have had the strength to row my way back to him.

"It's always been us," I croaked, still hiding my gaze in the carpet. "Kaz and Sasha, Kaz and Sasha... The small guys in class, or at the party. People've always been 'Oh, Kaz. No Sasha?'... We've stuck together. We've been stuck together in The Roscha... While everyone moves away, stays away and goes on with their lives. Even Art's left to go to university... My little brother." Finally, I grew enough of a spine to crane my neck upwards. "There's more to life than Rechnaya Roscha."

"And our friendship, clearly." Four more words added to the barricade. Forced me to stand and watch Sasha turn and start towards the entry hall. "Thanks. Good to know where I stand."

"Sasha--"

"I need a drink." He disappeared around the corner. I'll leave you to your spy games."

"Wait..."

The room door clattered open and slammed back closed. The gloom grew as night approached. Electric blue carried on raining in from the cold city outside. It cast my bed in its glow. My notes and laptop, too... All that I had left here.

The weight on my shoulders overwhelmed. I caught my head in my paws and slowly sank beneath it all.