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The Daedalus Challenge

By Searska GreyRaven

Concept by Guri

Thumbnail by Metalliclaws

"This isn't going to hurt, is it?"

The lab tech glanced at Cyrus and scowled. "No one has ever complained before. Hold still."

Cyrus swallowed and laid back, trying very hard not to move. He was laying on a flat metal table, wearing nothing but a hospital gown and his own fur. A steady draft from a nearby vent wafted under the thin fabric and was making him shiver. The cold metal of the electrodes glued to various parts of his body didn't help. Should have spliced with something that had thicker fur. Linsangs were tropical creatures. Ever since he'd spliced, cold weather and drafts bothered him much, much more.

"How much longer?" he asked through gritted teeth.

The tech glared and wrinkled her nose. "Do you want the money or not?" she demanded.

Cyrus nodded.

"Then sit back, shut up, and let me work. You aren't being paid to bitch."

Cyrus grumbled and closed his maw again. "Sorry. This is my first time. I've never had a neural snapshot before."

The tech huffed, but her expression softened. "Well, you're my first linsang splice. Almost done. Hold as still as you can until the machine is finished and I give you the all-clear. There will be a lot of humming and you might feel a little tingle around the electrodes. That's normal. Fifteen minutes and you can be on your way, cash in hand."

Cyrus started to nod, but a warning stare from the tech held him still. Instead, he fixed his gaze on the nearest thing to him: the neural scanner.

It looked like an MRI machine, but in an ominous shade of black rather than sterile, hospital white. The logo of Daedalus Inc. had been embossed on one side--the company name in blocky letters formed a kind of obstacle course and a tiny winged figure ran across the top. One similar figure was shown falling through the second "d," its wings disintegrating into a puff of stylized feathers. The open port yawned, its interior illuminated a soft blue. In a few moments, the table Cyrus was laid out on would slide into that portal, scan his brain and his body, and spit him back out. Nothing to it, or so they say.

Cyrus shuddered and backed his short ears. His striped tail ached to twitch, but he was afraid of losing the money if the scan didn't turn out, so he held still. He needed that money. If he didn't pay back the debt he'd incurred from splicing and betting on the Challenges, he was going to find himself at the business end of a Repo Man's troubleshooter. He'd probably end up fighting in the Debtor's Arena, paying off what he owed through bloodsport. Not gonna happen, Cyrus thought. He was too pretty for the Arena. Besides, he'd found a way to pay his debts without risking a single hair on his precious new pelt.

Daedalus Inc. was paying ten thousand credits a piece for brain scans for their popular adult MMO, The Daedalus Challenge. Rather than spend the thousands of hours programming the artificial intelligence for hundreds of non-player characters, Daedalus Inc. decided it would be cheaper to scan the brains of willing participants and upload the brain scan into a digital clone. People could then bet on how long a given clone would last inside the maze or against a given room, and the owner of a the clone would be given a portion of the pot generated by the bets.

Cyrus, as a linsang splice, felt his clone would have a good chance of making it through the maze. Even before he'd spliced, he had been nimble and quick. The boost from the linsang genes only made him faster. He could walk a tightrope with ease, scurry up walls and through holes too small for human shoulders, and he could see in the dark.

He was also damned handsome, if you asked him, and that always boosted the betting. He looked like a cross between all the best parts of a clouded leopard and a weasel--lovely flowing spots and stripes, a sleek body, a long supple tail, and a grin to make the ladies swoon.

Cyrus had to suppress making that grin. He also had the parts to make the ladies (and not a few gentlemen, either) swoon. His extensive splice job included a baculum; he now sported a literal boner and could thrust away for an hour or more with ease.

And once I get all the prize money from my AI clone, I'll have all pleasure I could desire. No more instant food packs and scraping for cash. I'll live the high life!

"Alright, neural scanner coming down. Don't move or we'll have to do it again."

The machine revved up, and the table slid inside.

Cyrus closed his eyes, and--

***

--blinked.

He wasn't in the Daedalus clinic anymore.

He wasn't even in a hospital gown. He would have considered it an improvement if he hadn't been bare-assed naked.

Where am I?

Cyrus lay on a cold, granite path in front of a vast stone wall with a single opening. A heavy wrought iron gate covered the opening, and gleaming gold lettering flickered across the bars as if written in midair.

Welcome to the Daedalus Challenge!

"Oh no. No, that can't be right. The clone is supposed to be in here, not me! Hey! Hey! Anyone! I'm not supposed to be here!" Cyrus scrambled to his feet and ran around in front of the front gate, shouting at the top of his lungs.

"This is bullshit!" he snarled, kicking the wall. Cyrus yelped in pain. He rubbed his foot and looked around. Apparently, even though it was just a virtual world, he could still feel pain.

Aside from the gate, there was nothing else around. Just a desolate stretch of empty, barren rock.

"There's no use shouting about it, you know."

Cyrus screamed and jumped. Standing behind him was a strange sort of splice. He couldn't tell if it was a melanistic leopard or a cheetah. It was tall, wiry, clad in a suit and holding a cane. It wore no shoes, its bare paws settled gently into the sand beside the stone path. There were no tracks showing where it had come from.

"Where the hell did you come from?" Cyrus demanded.

The strange feline splice grinned, baring pointed fangs. "I am Nikomedes, but you may call me Game Master." Its voice was oddly two-toned, both masculine and feminine at once. "And you must be Cyrus, our newest Challenger."

A Game Master, thank god. Game Masters were basically referees for the Challenge. They made sure no one was cheating or using illegal mods, and occasionally gave players hints when they were stuck. "There's been some mistake," Cyrus tried to explain. "I'm not supposed to be here! I volunteered to have my brain scanned and a _clone_put in here, not me!"

Nikomedes gave a look of mock concern. "Oh my, what a terrible mistake! But you see, there's no fixing it from this side. You're in the Challenge, pretty kitty. And the only way out is through." Nikomedes gestured with its cane to the entrance to the maze, giving a little flourish. "Once you make it to the exit, I'm certain our technicians can sort this out."

"First, I'm not a cat, I'm a linsang. Second, I'm not going in there," Cyrus replied flatly. "I've seen the vidcasts of this game. I've even bet on them. I know what goes on here."

"All fun and games when it isn't your lovely hide on the line?" Nikomedes snickered. "Perhaps you're right. They'll eat you alive in there. But rules are rules, and I'm merely a Game Master. I can't help you from here."

"Then what good are you?" Cyrus shrilled. "I want out!"

Nikomedes frowned. "You have no idea how good I am, boy," it said in a low, threatening tone, "and you better hope you never learn. In fact, get to the exit and you can be promised that you never will." Nikomedes sighed and polished its claws on its suit jacket. "The longer we argue about it, the more of your fee your rogue clone squanders."

Cyrus tried another tactic. "I played the beta of this Challenge. It's a cinch. There's no point in running me through it."

"Oh?" Nikomedes raised an eyebrow. "Then it should be no problem for you to reach the center in the allotted time limit." With a snap of its fingers, the iron gate creaked open. A giant clock appeared near the entrance, the digital reading flickering until it read 2:00. "You have two hours to get to the center of the maze. Succeed, and you'll be reunited with your body. Fail, and you become part of the Labyrinth's entertainment. A pretty thing like yourself would get so much attention in the Hall of Shame, I imagine."

"This is bullshit!" Cyrus snarled. "I shouldn't have to run the maze just to get back to my body!"

"Clock is ticking, pretty kitty. Better run!" Nikomedes cackled and vanished in a puff of glittering smoke.

I'm not a cat, I'm a--"

The clock ticked down to 1:59.

Cyrus hissed in frustration and charged through the gate.

***

He knew how it was supposed to start. The hapless Challenger would be introduced to the screaming audience, their stats in a sidebar and the current betting odds in the top corner. Cyrus had no idea what his stats would be, but he guessed that his agility and speed stats would show as near maxed out.

He heard no screaming masses, nor an announcer, but he'd seen the stream enough to have a good idea of how the opening would go.

"Welcome back, folks, to the Daedalus Challenge, where kink and competition reign! Check out the lineup and bet on your favorites, or lay down some serious creds on a few of our new Challengers, like this one, Cyrus, a linsang splice! Just look at that tail, folks! And I have it on good authority that he sports a literal boner between his legs. Someone will appreciate that, I can tell you right now. But will it be Cyrus enjoying the fruits of his labor at the end, or one of the Labyrinth's many horny beasts? Or even our fantastic Minotaur? It's been at least a week since the Minotaur had his way with a Challenger and I can tell you right now, he's one frustrated bovine. I hope this pretty boy is up for the Challenge!

Cyrus huffed. He was quick, clever, and he'd seen this maze run multiple times. The early stages were easy, the kind of things you'd find on low-budget game shows. It wasn't until he got to the later rooms that he'd have trouble. And he sure as shit wasn't going to end up one of the losers who didn't even manage to make the last two rooms.

Losers of the Daedalus Challenge were mounted--literally and figuratively--on pedestals in the Hall of Shame. Anyone who won more than a hundred credits on a Challenge could peruse the Hall and enjoy the spectacle of watching the losers get fucked by various Greek and Roman mythical creatures. Anyone who won more than a thousand credits on the Challenges could participate. Cyrus had bet and won over ten thousand before his luck ran out. He'd bet on a match expecting to be able to pay off his splice job, and instead ended up losing it all. Selling a clone of himself to the Challenge was the only way to pay off his debt.

It was a hyena girl he'd lost it all on, Chandra. She'd been the favorite for months, hadn't lost a single Challenge and only twice getting saddled with a handicap. Naturally, it was the one time he bet everything on her that she threw the Challenge. Vaguely, he wondered what happened to her. He hadn't been paying close attention to the Challenges since he lost, but he hadn't seen her show up in the Hall of Shame, either. She probably had enough creds to buy her way out of the Hall, Cyrus thought. Lucky bitch.

Well. If she could do it so easily, he would have no problem. Piece. Of. Cake.

He swaggered down the first hall, cocksure and barely looking where he stepped. On either side, the stone walls loomed onward. A light glowed faintly beneath the path, illuminating a narrow gutter on either side that shimmered with refreshing water. The sound of the trickling water was so soothing that Cyrus didn't notice the odd stone in the path until his foot triggered the pressure plate.

A hammer swung free and slammed into him.

Newbie mistake, dumbass!

It would have knocked him flat into opposite the wall, but the wall had opened up to reveal a slick black pool. Cyrus yelped and tried to dodge aside, but he wasn't quick enough. Water from the hall sluiced downward and swept him away.

He face-planted right into the pool.

"Ha! That was fast. Not as quick as his stats claim, apparently! Well, well! This will certainly make for an interesting run. Let's see what he comes out of there with. By the way, Daedalus Inc. is in the process of developing a real world version of that lovely liquid latex in the pool. Investors are encouraged to speak with a Daedalus representative if they'd like to get in on the action!"

Cyrus hit the surface and flailed, trying to swim like the stuff was water. But the fluid in the pool was absolutely not water; it was thicker, stickier, more like tar. Somehow, the linsang managed to claw his way to the edge and pull himself free. He flopped face-down on the stone, panting. If he had fallen farther from the edge, he wouldn't have made it. He'd seen the fate of the Challengers who fell into those early pits, and the idea of ending up as one of those made him shudder. Challengers who failed at the first couple of rooms weren't even worthy of the Hall of Shame. They were left in the pit that claimed them and became a part of it, hauling other stupid Challengers into the pool to join them. Cyrus shuddered. He'd thought that he felt something like fingers or hands grasping at him beneath the surface, but he had been too panicked at the moment to know for sure.

He scooted back from the edge a bit more, just in case. A few stray bubbles broke the surface, but otherwise, the pool was still.

The stuff still stuck to him wasn't so inert.

It wormed across his fur as if alive and collected on his limbs. Bands formed around his wrists and ankles. He clawed at it but the thickening fluid wouldn't be dislodged unless he was willing to yank out entire swaths of fur. It hardened where it collected, tightening until it was snug against his skin.

"Alright. Cuffs. I can deal with cuffs," he muttered. But then, he noticed his tail.

A slick sheet of the stuff coated his long, fluffy tail and turned it into a sleek, shiny tube. It widened near the tip, the rubber forming a kind of bubble or--

He didn't have a chance to examine it long. Before he could ponder what the bulb at the tip of his tail was for, the bands around his body flexed. The ones around his wrists and ankles suddenly felt magnetic and drew together until he was bent over double, his ass high in the air.

And that shiny bulb-tipped tail of his curled on itself and writhed against his anus.

"What? No! What the hell!?" Cyrus squirmed and tried to avoid his treacherous tail, but the thing had a mind of its own now. The tapered tip slid past his opening with ease and slowly began forcing the bulb into him.

Cyrus snarled and struggled, flexing with all his might to keep his tail out of him, but he couldn't stop it. The rubber was too slick and relentless. After a brief battle, it was too late. The knob at the end popped past his sphincter. The instant it was inside, the bulb inflated, locking it inside him.

Finally, the bands around his wrists and ankles relaxed. He scrambled to his feet and tried to get a look at his backside. It hadn't gone in deep, thankfully, just enough that he'd feel that bulbous thing stuffed up his ass with every step. Distracting, but not debilitating, he thought. As things went, it wasn't a terrible handicap. It did, however, form a loop that a monster might be able to grab as he fled, though. He tugged gently at his tail, but there was no getting the thing out. Until he was free of the maze, he was going to be stuck with a butt plug for a tail. Even more distressing, it was pulsing. Not a lot, but just enough to feel like a werewolf splice was knotted inside him, its cock throbbing gently.

Alright. It's bad, but not as bad as it could have been. I can do this.

Cyrus tried to stand, but the tail lodged in his ass made walking upright difficult. He took a few experimental steps to get used to the thing.

Suddenly, his tail thrust into him, hard.

Cyrus yelped and nearly hit the floor again. "What the hell, dude?" he snapped. The tail gave a few more gleeful thrusts and went quiescent again.

Cyrus tried to walk again, and after a few more steps, the tail again thrust into him with the force of a horny stallion.

"Mother_fucker!_"

His traitorous tail didn't seem to care that it was being cursed at.

"I'm going to kill my clone for this," Cyrus growled. He staggered down the stony hall to the next part of the maze, pausing every few steps to pant out a few more choice words for the tail lodged in his backside.

"Well folks, he seems to have gotten past the first pit, but not before taking a quick dip in the pool. And here I thought that linsang would get past at least the first room without a handicap. He hasn't succumbed yet, so let's up the ante, shall we? Let's see how our "nimble" linsang handles this one!"

The next part of the labyrinth opened to a long walkway over another gently bubbling pit. Cyrus came to a halt at the beginning of the bridge, panting. The knotted tail thrust in and out a few times, the knot pulling almost painfully against his sphincter before gliding back into him. The linsang moaned and reached between his legs to give himself a few strokes, but stopped before he got too worked up. There was a time limit, and if he stopped to rub one out, he was going to waste valuable time.

After I cross this bridge, he thought. I can dash across and waste the five minutes it'll take to relieve myself.

Cyrus frowned at the bridge. He knew this obstacle. Giant scythes would swing down from above, trying to dislodge anyone who tried to cross. And if they fell into the pool? He looked down. The slick black surface of the pool broke here and there with curls of undulating tentacles. Once a tentacle latched on, there was no getting free. They'd coil tight, fill every orifice, and fuck you to oblivion. He'd watched players succumb to it before. Hell, if he squinted, he could even see what he thought were shapes under the surface, the outline of a muzzle here, the vague form of a spread-eagled body there. Unlike the first pool, far more Challengers had gotten caught here.

Not today, tentacles. I have a clone to murder.

Cyrus rose to his feet and nearly staggered off the end as his tail thrust into him as hard as it could. The linsang swore and dropped to his hands and knees while his traitorous tail wriggled and pulsed inside him. Finally, it eased back and Cyrus was able to crawl forward again, if a bit awkwardly. His cock was at full extension, clear fluid forming a droplet at the tip. He loathed the knotted tail in his ass, but damn if the thing didn't know how to work him up.

He started across the bridge, keeping low and one eye trained on the ceiling for any hint of movement.

The first scythe dropped without warning, swinging through the air soundlessly behind him. He realized just as he jumped that it was a distraction.

He'd leapt right into the path of the second scythe ahead of him.

Stupid, stupid! Cyrus yelped and backpedaled.

He would have cleared it, if it hadn't been for his evil tail.

The first scythe caught the loop of his tail on its backswing and yanked him nearly off the bridge. Cyrus yowled and clung to the floor with all his might, but his grip was wrenched loose. Quick as he could, he twisted and grabbed the scythe instead, digging his claws into the soft cord of the pendulum. He unhooked his tail and held on as it swung over the bridge.

As if angered that he escaped, his knotted tail throbbed, the knot suddenly doubling its already impressive girth. Cyrus moaned, nearly losing his grip as a wave of primal pleasure crashed over him. The knot was rubbing his prostate relentlessly, pushing him to the edge of an orgasm.

Cyrus fought the urge and tried to reach down to cut it off, but it was too late. He came, hard, and only his convulsive grip saved him from writhing into the pool. Creamy cum spurted down and into the pool below.

In the back of his mind, Cyrus knew this was bad. He couldn't remember why through the haze of lust and relief, but he knew bad things were going to happen.

The surface of the pool wriggled and a dozen tentacles rose from the surface toward the bridge. Within moments, the entire surface of the bridge was going to be covered in tentacles and there'd be no escape for him!

With a snarl, he dove for the exit, barely pulling his looped tail through before the door slammed down. A pair of tendrils flopped on the floor, severed from the pool. They melted into inky puddles after a moment.

Another room down.

Cyrus lay on the other side and panted. Between his legs, his tail vibrated.

"I hate you," Cyrus groaned. His treacherous tail thrust gleefully.

"Well what do you know! He managed to make it, even with our lovely handicap distracting him! This Cyrus might actually be a contender. But he's not out of the woods yet, folks! The best is yet to come. And speaking of coming, time to see how Cyrus handles this next room. Step carefully, linsang Challenger, or you might find the orgasm you enjoyed in that previous room to be your last!"

Cyrus tip-toed along the corridor, which was blessedly empty. His tail was doing its damnedest to frustrate him, and he was forced to walk like he had a stick up his ass. Not far from the truth, honestly, he thought. The next room must be a ways off. Or maybe it just felt much longer. Even after the orgasm he'd had in the previous room, he still felt horny as hell. His tail hadn't stopped thrusting since he'd started moving, and it had worked him back up to full arousal. Or maybe it was something in the air. There was a scent all around him, something sweet and exciting that made the pressure in his loins ache all the more.

He'd made it halfway down the corridor before he realized this was the next room. I know this one. There's...something...I'm not supposed to...umph! It was the last coherent thought he had before the scent in the room finally overpowered him. Cyrus dropped to all fours, his ass high and his hips thrusting at empty air. His tail worked him over harder, harder. He was close, so close. If he just reached down, he would find relief, but some vague part of his mind kept his palms firmly on the floor. He crawled forward, one step, then another.

There was something he wasn't supposed to do. He was sure of it, but the smell of lust in the air and the tail pounding into him from behind shattered every attempt to gather his thoughts and remember. _ _

Finally, he couldn't take it any more. With a howl of frustration, he grabbed his aching shaft. He needed to come. He needed it and damn whatever consequences there were!

He'd barely started when he felt something trickle from his wrist. He didn't care. He needed to cum, damn it, right now. His tail was driving him mad! He worked himself over, faster. His hand was slowing down as if something was pulling against it, but he ignored it. Almost there, so close, he was gonna--

And suddenly, he couldn't move his hand anymore. Something had pinned it in place.

Cyrus panted and looked down, uncomprehendingly. The black band of rubber around his wrist had sprouted another pair of loops, one around his balls and the other circling his shaft. His wrist was bound to the one on his shaft, preventing him from moving so much as an inch.

Cyrus howled in frustration, realizing what this meant. Helplessly, he rolled to the floor and tried to thrust into his own grip, trying desperately to orgasm, but the cock ring tightened the instant the first pulse hit him, holding his release hostage.

Frantically, Cyrus tried his other hand. He tried to pry the cock rink loose, to force it to let go of his balls, but it had hardened to his skin just like the rubbery latex on his tail. He could trace it all the way back, and found it had merged with the rubbery knot in his backside, a thin line taught against his taint that held the two loops perfectly, maddeningly snug. There was no removing it, and it seemed every bit as viciously malevolent as the knotted tail stuffed up his ass. He could feel it tightening and loosening in time with the pulsing of the knot.

Finally, the cock ring separated from the band around Cyrus's wrist and the burning ache in his loins gradually subsided. It didn't go away though, and every time he thought his lust was finally cooling, the whole thing squeezed, keeping his cock hard, his ass bucking, and his balls aching for release.

"Well folks, looks like our pretty boy Cyrus is in a bit of a bind! Agility counts for nothing when you're too distracted to dodge, as we've all seen in the Challenge time and again. He keeps this up, and he's going to be wrapped up like a gift for our Minotaur! But looks like he's getting up and raring to go again in spite of his slick new handicaps. What a trooper."

Cyrus first staggered, then crawled to the next part of the maze, loins aching and his ass feeling like it was on fire. His tail had taken to twisting inside him, corkscrewing one way and then the other. He alternated between two and four legs, going as far as he could on two before he was driven back to all fours. He as losing time, he knew it, but there was nothing he could do to make things go any faster.

The door to the next room of the labyrinth opened to a seemingly empty room, similar to the previous room with one change: the floor was covered in tiles, each one with a sigil in the center that glowed faintly in either red, green, or purple. At the far end, Cyrus could see the exit. Bluish light glowed from the opening and urged him on, but the linsang was too clever and hesitated before stepping foot into the empty room.

"I know this part," he murmured. The red tiles (and there were many of them) with the glowing outline of Medusa's face meant he'd be instantly frozen in place and turned into a statue. The green ones with a sigil of a feather were safe tiles, and the purple tiles marked with diamonds were wild cards. They could either be safe or impose some other horrid fate upon him. He took a deep breath, steeling himself against anything his treacherous tail or the damned cock rings might do. With a low growl, Cyrus hopped onto the first green tile.

He made it across two more green tiles before his tail betrayed him and forced the linsang to misstep onto a purple tile.

The instant his feet made contact with the purple tile, it tilted, revealing a pool of pink liquid latex.

Cyrus leapt again, this time managing to land on a solid green tile. He sat, panting, and his tail gave a few mocking thrusts that rocked him forward.

"You are going to get me killed," he snarled at his tail. His tail didn't reply; it just jammed itself as far as it could go into him and vibrated feverishly. Cyrus cried out, his hips rocking as his tail fucked him mercilessly. A few minutes later, it subsided and Cyrus whimpered. His cock was so hard that it hurt but the ring squeezed tight around his balls and shaft prevented him from any kind of release. It didn't prevent him from trying, however, and for far longer than was wise, Cyrus tried. His claws just couldn't pry the thick latex off his skin. It was like it had melded with his very flesh. It wasn't a pleasant thought, especially when he considered the sheath of the stuff on his tail. It's all a game. It's not real. I'll get to the end, I'll have them put me right back in my body and put the clone in here where he belongs, and it'll be fine. I won't be stuck with an evil, sabotaging tail forever.

He needed to finish this damned maze before he lost his mind. He gathered what was left of his willpower and leapt to another tile.

Then another.

And another.

He was making pretty good time when he tripped again, catching the edge of another purple tile. A battering ram shaped like a phallus swung down, catching him completely off-guard. It hit him square in the crotch and sent him flying backwards.

"Oh! That's gotta hurt!"

Cyrus screamed in pain and didn't even try to get up when he hit the floor. The hammer had nailed him hard enough that not only was he seeing stars, but he could barely breathe. He gripped himself, begging the pain to stop, and lay prone. Purple light gleamed at the edge of his vision, and he spared a grateful thought that he'd landed on a purple tile instead of a red one. A rare safe purple tile. Thank god.

Or was it?

Was the ceiling moving or was it his imagination?

When the tile started to tilt and slide him face-first towards a red pool, he was still in too much pain to put up a fight. It wasn't until his tail started thrusting vigorously, pushing him into the fluid, that he finally regained enough of his wits to react. Cyrus backpedaled, his hands slipping on the smooth tile and landing right into the bright red goo. He hissed and recoiled, but not before the stuff stuck to him.

He thought it would react like the black goo, clinging tight against him, but to his horror, it did the opposite. It expanded, filling in the places between his fingers. All that remained were two shiny red balls at the ends of his arms.

He could still feel his fingers in there, thankfully, but it was like having two handfuls of thick clay. The linsang scowled. This was going to make the rest of the maze very, very difficult. All his manual dexterity was gone.

He hopped the last few tiles to the exit, the remainder of the room anti-climactically easy.

"Well folks, our spry little linsang has made it. Just two more to go, and he's home free! But as we all know, it's always these last two rooms that give our Challengers the most trouble, and Cyrus here is sporting three significant handicaps. Things don't look good for him! If he picks up any more trouble--well. Our Minotaur has been getting restless and this little linsang might give him some much needed exercise. Heh, I can already hear the cheering. Don't be hasty, folks! Betting on that particular event will open up if and when he gets there!"

Cyrus leaned against the door of the next room. Just two more, and he could get back to his body and watch his clone run this hell maze.

_I hope my clone fails. I hope my clone ends up caught by the damned Minotaur at the end. I can't believe he did this to me. How the hell is that even possible?_He didn't think Daedalus Inc. would allow such a thing to happen. It was bad for business to screw over the people selling their neural maps. But then, what clone would actually admit it had been able to swap places with its original?

Before he could ponder the thought further, the door eased open and allowed Cyrus forward.

What if I can't make it? What if I fail a room, or--fuck help me--get caught by the Minotaur?

As if fueled by his doubts, his tail pulsed and thrust, wrenching a moan from Cyrus's throat. The linsang hunched down on all fours, groping at himself but unable to do more than fumble between his legs. The shiny red balls that had replaced his hands were utterly useless. He gave up and staggered into the room, a trickle of clear precum dribbling between his legs and spattering across the stone floor.

A stone floor that seemed strangely wet. The floor beneath his feet glistened and the smell of the ocean filled his nostrils.

"Oh no," Cyrus groaned. He knew this room.

Early rooms in the Challenge had no real theme, mostly just being tests of skill, strength, and agility. But the last two rooms were always based around some Greek or Roman myth. Some were based on the tasks of Heracles, others on various exploits of the gods, and there were even several from epics like The Odyssey.

Cyrus was in the Scylla and Charybdis room. On one side, he could see a pool of dark blue fluid whipped into a frenzied whirlpool. The floor sloped downward to the water, getting steeper the closer it came to the water's frothing edge. On the other, there reclined a beautiful figure of a woman, at least from the hips up. From the waist down, she was a mass of writhing purple tentacles. Between them, the stone path was deceptively clear.

But really, there was no clear path between both obstacles that was safe from them. To avoid Scylla, he'd skid into the whirlpool of Charybdis. And to avoid the whirlpool of Charybdis, he'd run straight into Scylla's grasping tendrils.

The door slammed shut behind him, trapping Cyrus with his choice. Scylla opened her poisonous green eyes and looked Cyrus over. She smirked. Her tentacles coiled and flexed as if sensing an easy victory.

"Yet another Challenger, desperate to escape the Labyrinth," Scylla purred. "Make your choice, meat. If you make us bored, we can make your life in the maze very, very uncomfortable."

Cyrus bristled. "Not gonna happen. I don't belong here, and I'm not planning to stay."

There came an amused gurgle from the whirling vortex of Charybdis. "So say they all. So what'll it be, Challenger? Who do you think you can more easily best?"

Cyrus was about to reply when his knotted tail flared and pressed into him and the cock rings tightened almost to the point of pain. He whimpered as his treacherous tail shattered his wits and he lay, prone and panting.

Somehow, Cyrus managed to crawl forward, the slick balls stuck to his hands sliding across the floor. He inched along, and at the last moment lunged into a full gallop along the curved floor around Charybdis. Scylla shrieked, thwarted.

A wave launched up the side of the funnel, nearly tripping him. Cyrus plunged forward, heedless of the fluid drenching his fur, and was almost to the end when he felt something cold and wet latch on to his cock.

Charybdis cackled, and Cyrus looked down in horror as the blue fluid convalesced on his body, enveloping his entire aching length and flattening it against his belly. He tried to scrape it off but the slick red rubber on his hands repelled the blue stuff like oil and water. All he managed to do was smear it around more until he was coated in the stuff. In moments, it hardened painfully tight, sheathing most of his body in hard, blue rubber. But only the surface. Inside, he felt it suckling him as ardently as a lover, lapping his shaft and balls relentlessly. Under that shell, the latex pinched his nipples, ran claws down his back, and sent waves of pleasure across his skin. It gripped his ass and sent him staggering.

Cyrus sobbed, aroused past the brink of reason. Somehow, he managed to crawl free of the pit of Charybdis. With every inch, the mocking laughter of the two monsters followed him.

Finally, he made it to the end. Collecting the last of his dignity, Cyrus tried to stand.

And he couldn't. The blue rubber retracted harder and harder, forcing Cyrus to all fours like a beast.

As if gloating, every inch of the rubber on his body pulsed, his tail fucking as hard as it could, the blue loin sheath suckled, and the cock rings clenched off his orgasm. Even the red rubber balls on his hands reacted. It felt like there was a small mouth on each finger, suckling and lapping.

He couldn't take it. Cyrus howled and rocked his hips, giving in as the sadistic rubber had its way with him. He needed to cum. He needed it more than air and he couldn't take it anymore. He ground his hips against the floor, against the wall, against the rubber balls binding his hands, anything to either rub the stuff off his body or give him just enough friction to orgasm. He tried to bite the rubber balls off his hands, but his fangs just slid off the smooth surface. The claws on his feet were equally useless.

He no longer cared if he finished the Challenge, so long as he could just cum.

"Wow, folks, looks like our Challenger has gone a bit lust-mad! Betting is closed on how long before he succumbed; you can collect your winnings at your leisure. We're going to give Cyrus a little reprieve now. Not fair to keep the pretty boy in suspense, not when he still has one more room and the Minotaur to face!"

Cyrus writhed, moaning at the top of his lungs. His hips rutted into empty air as the rubber worked him into a lust-fueled frenzy and he didn't care. Nothing else mattered but the pleasure and reaching the edge of his orgasm, maddeningly just out of reach.

Suddenly, it all stopped. All of it.

He fell flat on his face, dazed at the sudden lack of sensation. Blood pounded in his ears and his loins ached more than ever, but the rubber had ceased its torment for the moment. Cyrus panted, holding perfectly still, afraid to move in case it started again and just as afraid to stay put, in case it decided to start again to urge him forward. Finally,finally, he caught his breath and the abject need to orgasm faded back to a dull roar. He could think again.

"Oh god, how much time did I waste?"

There was no response, but the wall at the edge of his vision flickered and showed a counter. 19:47. He had less than twenty minutes to finish the last room and deal with the Minotaur!

"Shit!"

If he had zero handicaps, he could do it, easy. But as Cyrus took stock of how bad his situation was, his body now mostly encased in three shades of the treacherous rubber latex, he began to wonder if he could beat the odds and make it to the end.

He bared his teeth. "I'm not letting my fucking clone damn me to being stuck here forever," he growled. "I'm getting out. I'm going to pay_to make my damned clone fail, and then I'm going to fuck that bastard in the Hall of Shame with the biggest dildo I can afford. A horse cock. A _centaur cock. Right up his smug ass. For a month."

Cyrus heaved himself to his hands and feet. The rubber may have stopped molesting him, but it was as tight as ever with zero give. He'd have to do the rest of the maze face-down, ass-up, like a bitch in heat. If his butt hadn't been filled with an irremovable tail-knot, he might have been more concerned about it. Whatever was in the last room couldn't hold him prisoner by way of his ass. He'd seen that happen before. A Challenger got knotted by Cerberus in the last room and the timer ran out before the beast's three-lobed knot deflated enough to let them wrench free.

Cyrus shuddered. That particular Challenge stuck with him. As soon as the timer ran out, the Challenger transformed into a smaller three-headed dog-like demon, with two pointed cocks bobbing eagerly against its belly, and had been set loose to roam the corridors of the maze. He'd seen it again much later, rutting another losing Challenger in the Hall of Shame.

I refuse to let that me be. The idea of some demonic hound fucking him on a stage for the entertainment of the masses made him ill. That was supposed to be the fate of his clone damn it, not him!

It was going to be fine. Just fine. Cyrus would finish the last room, beat the Minotaur, and then he'd bet on every game against his damned clone. He wanted to watch that asshole suffer for this.

"Well folks, our boy Cyrus has made it to the final room! If he can pass this last Challenge, he'll face the Minotaur. And let me tell you, this last one is sadistic. Can he find the pieces of the Cow of Pasiphaë and put them together in time? I don't know how he'll manage it without thumbs, but it's happened before."

Cyrus crawled into the last room. His arms and legs ached from being forced to walk on all fours, his ass felt like he had a balloon shoved up it and he was pretty sure his balls were about to explode. He was exhausted and hornier than he'd ever been in his life and all he wanted to do was be done with this stupid labyrinth and back in his own body.

The door to the second to last room opened, and Cyrus blinked a few times. Everywhere he looked, there were piles of treasure. Gold coins stacked as high as he could see, silks and tapestries lined the floor and walls, and chests over-flowing with gems and silver baubles spilled like waterfalls across three mahogany tables. At the far end of the room was a dais with four cloven indents.

"Oh no. No!"

He knew this room. He'd laughed about it for hours, watching various Challengers stumble through it. One memorable time, there was an elephant splice he was certain would fail it. The elephant had been in much the same position as Cyrus, her hands and feet enveloped in rubber balls, but her agile trunk helped her get through the room with time to spare. Cyrus had no trunk. He couldn't even stand upright.

"Shit shit shit!" Cyrus scrambled on top of the nearest table and started searching. Inside six of those chests were the parts he needed to make the Cow of Pasiphaë, and he needed to do it fast.

The knot in his ass began to throb. Not hard, not even fast, but slow and steady. Cyrus could feel his body reacting. He panted and kicked the next chest over. Nothing!

Something that felt like a long, wet tongue lapped across his shaft. Cyrus moaned. His hips began to thrust of their own volition, even though there was nothing to thrust into. The sensation didn't let up. One slow, languid stroke led to another, and another. Something suckled his nipples, tweaking them gently. God, this rubber stuff. I'd pay a fortune in the real world for a thing like it.

He was slowing down. He knew he was. He tried to resist, tried to ignore what the treacherous rubber latex was doing, but it felt so good. After spending the whole labyrinth being fucked senseless by the stuff, this slow lovemaking was a welcome change of pace.

Cyrus gritted his teeth and doggedly continued. Finally, at the bottom of a chest filled with silver goblets, he found the first leg. Another leg he discovered under a pile of gold coins, and then he found the torso behind a tapestry on the wall.

The ministrations of the treacherous rubber increased. His tail began to thrust, pulling out to the limit of the knotted tip before sliding in as far as it could go again. God, but it felt good. Cyrus wanted to stop searching and just kneel for a moment, letting his tail work him over, slow and easy and deep. The lapping sensation around his cock became more insistent.

No! I have to finish this damned cow!

Cyrus shook himself and went back to searching. Another leg, and finally the last leg. He was just missing the head. He staggered to the dais and tried to set the pieces in place, but the rubber balls made for slow going. It took him forever to get the first leg in place, and three more short eternities to get them all in their slots. All the while, his tail thrust hard and deep and the rubber around his cock suckled. He dropped the torso twice, curling over himself and moaning in frustrated pleasure.

A klaxon blared, ripping Cyrus free of his lust for a moment. Ten minutes left in the Challenge! He was running out of time! With a snarl, he went back to work and managed to fit the torso on top of the legs, barely. His nose ached from nudging the parts into position. He picked up the head between the rubber balls he had left for hands and--

His tail thrust, hard, forcing Cyrus to his knees. He dropped the head and it clattered across the floor, out of reach. Cyrus barely noticed. His traitorous tail had stopped playing nice and had gone back to fucking his ass with gusto.

Cyrus doubled over, unable to do anything but let it pound him. Between his legs, the sucking sensation doubled, tripled. He wasn't going to make it unless he did something, fast. There, just a few feet away, was the cow's head. He was close, so close!

Cyrus rocked forward grasping for the head. One rubber ball hand glanced off it and sent it skidding farther away. Cyrus scooted forward and finally managed to drag it close. He shoved it across the floor with his muzzle. Almost there.

He took a deep breath, steeled himself, and Cyrus reared up on his feet just long enough to slam the cow's head into place. The rubber at his loins clenched in protest, forcing Cyrus back to the floor as it squeezed so tight that he though his spine would snap.

There was a grinding sound, and the rubber eased off. The final door to the Minotaur had opened.

"Wow, folks, I didn't see that coming. I thought for sure those handicaps were going to do in our pretty linsang before he could give that cow a head. Heh. But there you have it. Congrats to the handful that bet on him making it. Someone is going to have a wonderful evening. Stick around, folks, the grand finale is just minutes away. Can Cyrus and the rest of our finalists make it past our Minotaur? Who will join our Hall of Shame, and who will walk away rich? Only time will tell."

Cyrus practically fell through the doorway to the Minotaur's lair. He was so tired, so horny, and so done with this Challenge. What had he been thinking, selling himself for the sake of this thing? He leaned against the wall and racked his brain, dredging up every last bit of information he could about the Minotaur.

Unlike the rest of the Labyrinth, the final Challenge against the Minotaur was a multiplayer event. Every Challenger who made it this far was given a chance to face off and possibly defeat the beast, or they could make a run for the exit. Challengers who beat the Minotaur got massive bonuses and a cash prize. Challengers who ran for the exit and made it got a smaller prize and lived to fight another Challenge. It wasn't glorious, but it beat the alternative.

Two fates awaited those the Minotaur captured. Players who had a lackluster run were turned into beasts and set loose to wander the halls of the Labyrinth, occasionally being allowed into the Hall of Shame as part of the entertainment. Some of them might manage to topple a high-level Challenger, and then they were allowed a second chance to run the labyrinth as themselves. But the second fate...

Any player who had done well and failed at the end was given their own pedestal in the Hall of Shame, to be used by non-player AI (or any paying Challenger). It lasted for thirty real time days or until someone took pity on them and paid for their release. Hell, there were a few that never left the Hall of Shame, as people paid to keep them on their pedestals.

"I'm not ending up someone else's plaything. All I have to do is avoid it," he decided. "No heroics, no going for a high score, nothing. Just get past the Minotaur and through the door. One good grapple and I'm done for."

He crawled down the hall and into the sliding glass tube that led to the final chamber. The rubber loosened enough to allow him to stand in the tube, but his treacherous tail took the opportunity to toy with him, inflating and filling him until Cyrus was moaning and writhing against the glass.

His tube rose from the floor of the chamber, and Cyrus could see twelve other tubes like his, with various other players in situations like his own. One was almost completely encased in blue rubber and impossible to tell their gender let alone species, and one (a hyena splice) was basically untouched, except for a sheathe of pink latex over his cock.

Cyrus squinted. Those markings looked familiar. No, the hyena wasn't a he. Those were breasts. The "cock" was really a rubber dildo in a harness. As he watched, the hyena moaned and stroked the fake cock, working it over as if it were the real thing. She grinned at him lewdly and licked her fangs.

He knew that hyena. That...that was Chandra! That was the bitch who threw the game he'd bet his fortune on! She was here! He wanted to snarl and shake his fist at her, but she wouldn't be able to tell he was even making a fist through the rubber encasing his hands.

The center of the room irised open, and the Minotaur emerged.

The Minotaur changed form from Challenge to Challenge, and this time around he was an actual taur with a bovine body, the torso of a very muscular human male, and the head of a bull. His tail was a long lash of black rubber, and along his back sprouted a nest of smaller tendrils, each able to extend at the whim of the Minotaur.

Cyrus groaned. It was the hardest iteration of the Minotaur in the Challenge. Probably because we have thirteen Challengers.

The Minotaur stepped off its platform and roared. He reared up, flashing his flaccid but rapidly engorging cock, and beckoned to the Challengers.

The tubes dropped down and released the Challengers into the Lair.

Cyrus made a run for the exit. A staggering, crab-like run.

Behind him, the Minotaur bellowed.

He was almost there. Just a few more steps and--

He would have made it, if it hadn't been for the hyena splice. She grabbed the loop of his tail and yanked him backward, throwing him into the path of a tentacle meant for her. He snarled and tried to bite her, enraged, but the Minotaur's tentacle snapped around Cyrus's leg and yanked him away even further from the door.

"You b--"

He didn't have a chance to finish. Another tentacle stuffed itself into his mouth and bulged, filling his cheeks before it solidified into a gag. Chandra saluted him with her middle finger just as she backed into the exit and out of view.

Cyrus wanted to cry. It wasn't fair! But she hadn't really cheated. He'd seen other players do the exact same thing. He'd even cheered when Chandra had done that before, but he'd been betting on her at the time. God damn it, he should have seen that coming!

But he still had time. If he could slip free, he could still make the exit. Until the door slammed shut, he still had a chance. The other eleven players might still be able to defeat the Minotaur and free him.

But after seeing Cyrus get snatched, the rest of the players decided discretion was the better part of valor and charged for the door. Cyrus tried to scream through the gag, but it was too late. The last of the other players skittered out, and he was alone.

The tentacle drew Cyrus close to the Minotaur's face, and the monster grinned. "I'll give you one sporting chance, fresh meat," he rumbled. "Make me come before that door shuts, and I'll let you go."

Cyrus nodded emphatically and the Minotaur cackled. Tentacles wound around Cyrus and pulled him under the Minotaur's body, positioning him so that he was belly-to-belly with the beast. For a moment, Cyrus was confused. He couldn't do what the Minotaur wanted with his ass stuffed with his own tail.

But the tentacles tugged at the tail, and it meekly withdrew, its knot deflating and sliding free from his body with a lewd squelch. A moment later, the Minotaur's swelling member pressed into him, filling him as much as his tail had and then some.

Cyrus moaned.

The Minotaur chuckled and shifted, his bovine cock growing harder. "Are you even trying, meat?" he growled. The Minotaur gave a sharp thrust of his hips, wrenching a yelp from Cyrus. Testicles the size of tennis balls slapped the linsang's ass.

I will murder my clone, Cyrus thought, and he began to milk the Minotaur.

Cyrus clenched down, squeezing for all he was worth. The Minotaur grunted in pleasure, rutting the linsang's tender ass as his cock got harder and longer. Cyrus felt filled, stuffed, impaled by the monster's length. How much harder could the beast get before he came?! He had to be close. Just a little more.

Just as the Minotaur began to pant in earnest, Cyrus's treacherous tail snaked up between the Minotaur's hind legs and slithered into the Minotaur's ass, burrowing as deep as it could. And just as it had with Cyrus, the instant it was inside, it inflated its knot, locking him to the Minotaur.

No!

But it was too late. With a final enthusiastic grunt, the Minotaur came. Thick, hot seed spurted deep into Cyrus's body and dribbled out around the Minotaur's still-hard cock. The tentacles released him and dropped Cyrus to the ground. Or at least his upper half. His lower half was still knotted to the Minotaur by way of his treacherous, evil tail. It had delved so deep into the Minotaur that the monster's flaccid cock didn't even have the room to withdraw from Cyrus's abused hole.

The door to the exit began to drop.

"What's the matter, meat? Don't you want to escape?"

Cyrus snarled and struggled but though the tentacles that held him under the Minotaur had released him, the knotted tail refused to budge. And without thumbs, he couldn't even grasp his tail to try to pull it free. He was forced to use his legs, but as close as he was to the Minotaur's body, he couldn't get enough leverage to withdraw. Still, he pulled as much as he could. With every failed tug, his tail burrowed deeper, until his ass was mashed against the Minotaur's groin. If the Minotaur hadn't gone flaccid, Cyrus was certain he'd be choking on the monster's cock.

With a final clang, the door slammed shut, sealing Cyrus's fate. He dangled between the Minotaur's legs, his ass still dripping cum and his tail all but swallowed up by the Minotaur's body.

And the Minotaur was getting hard again.

"Oh yes. It's been a long time since I have something this tight!" The Minotaur's tentacles yanked the battered linsang back up. One shoved itself between his lips. Cyrus hissed and bit down, but the rubbery tentacle only solidified and locked Cyrus's jaw around it.

"Minotaur, when you've finished having your fun, I need a word with that one."

Cyrus rolled his eyes and caught a glimpse of a skinny black cheetah in a crisp suit, watching him. Nikomedes. God, how he wished he could spit at the Game Master. This was all its fault. If Nikomedes had just let Cyrus go instead of forcing him to run this stupid Labyrinth--

The Minotaur's cock swelled and spurted again, and more milky cum rained down to the floor. Cyrus whimpered in the monster's grip, his own cock aching for release. The Minotaur fucked him a third and final time, grunting with triumph as he came.

Finally satisfied, the Minotaur's tentacles yanked Cyrus and his traitorous tail free and deposited him at the Game Master's feet. The tentacles coiled as tight as ropes, preventing Cyrus from taking out his fury on the Game Master. He knelt, bound, and glared at Nikomedes. The effect was ruined somewhat by the steady rain of creamy bovine cum dripping down between Cyrus's legs. God, it felt like he had a gallon of the stuff inside his ass.

The black-furred cheetah pinched Cyrus's chin between two fingers and forced Cyrus to look at him. "Well, well, well," Nikomedes purred in that two-toned voice. "So much for all that agility, hmm? Pity. You were _quite_the favorite. Your owner lost quite a bit on you."

"You mean my clone!" Cyrus spat.

"No, your owner, stupid program." The cheetah pulled out a pair of small mirrors from its coat and held them so Cyrus could see the back of his head.

And there, right at the base of his neck, was a series of numbers and the Daedalus logo.

He wouldn't believe it.

He couldn't believe it.

"No. No!"

"I'm afraid so. You're a clone." Nikomedes sounded bored. "A losing one, at that. Now, what to do with you?" Its eyes roved over the Minotaur. "Oh yes. I know exactly what to do with you."

"It's a lie!" Cyrus shrieked. "I'm not a clone. I can't be a clone!"

The Game Master sighed. "Such a pitiable side effect. Clones can't perform as well if we wipe them of their owner's memories. Most simply accept their fate once they see the tattoo, but every now and then, we have one that won't comply. It seems you're going to need a little more convincing. And since we can't have you mouthing off while paying players make use of you..." Nikomedes gestured to the Minotaur, who jammed a tentacle into Cyrus's mouth just as the linsang opened it to protest again. The Minotaur's tentacles pried Cyrus's jaws wide open.

The melanistic cheetah smirked and pulled a vial of pink fluid from its coat. Nikomedes poured it into Cyrus's mouth and the Minotaur's tentacles snapped the linsang's jaw shut, forcing him to swallow it. The tentacle withdrew, and Cyrus tried to snarl a curse at Nikomedes.

He couldn't.

He tried to scream.

A thin whimper was all that emerged from his throat.

The fluid had rendered him voiceless.

"Now, about the rest of your punishment. I think a few months in the Cow ought to soften you up."

No!

Cyrus's eyes widened in horror. Nikomedes snapped its fingers and a replica of the cow Cyrus had assembled in the previous room appeared in the center of the room. A pair of doors on the cow's back were open, revealing an empty interior, and it was missing its head.

"Get him ready, Minotaur," Nikomedes ordered, and the Minotaur grinned.

Tentacles picked up Cyrus and dropped him into the cow. Liquid rubber poured in from the tip of another tentacle, filling the cow like a mold. It clung to Cyrus and pulled him into position, his ass flush against the butt of the cow. It flowed up his body and covered his face, bulging until he no longer resembled a handsome linsang but a common cow, complete with a pair of short horns and a ring in his nose. And behind him, his bulb-tipped tail wagged once before returning to its home, shoved deep in Cyrus's ass. The former linsang opened his mouth to scream, but nothing came out.

"Been a few weeks since we had someone in the Cow. I think it's a good fit for him, don't you think?" Nikomedes pinched Cyrus's jaw between his fingers again, examining the bovine mask and nodding approvingly. Cyrus tried to bite, but his fangs had been coated in rubber and rendered harmless. All that remained was a suckling hole where his mouth used to be.

"Oh, I can think of a much better use for that mouth than biting, my new pet," Nikomedes purred. "After your little spat at the entrance, I'd hoped you would fail so I could make use of you. Chandra was more than willing to indulge me. She's earned a favor, I think. But first, I plan on breaking you in."

The Game Master's clothing vanished, revealing a pseudo-feline cock with short barbs, the same color as Chandra's faux phallus. Nikomedes grabbed Cyrus's head and jammed the pink phallus into the former linsang's mouth, fucking him hard enough that, had there not been insulating rubber, Cyrus was certain those barbs would have torn up his throat. His treacherous tail matched the Game Master's rhythm, fucking him from behind as vigorously as the cheetah rutted into his maw.

The dark-furred cheetah face-fucked Cyrus until finally, something sweet spurted down Cyrus's throat. It wasn't cum; it was something else. Cyrus felt light-headed. His nerves felt super sensitive all of a sudden, and the feeling of the confining rubber actually felt...pleasurable. Everything felt pleasurable. His mind drifted, melted away until there was nothing, nothing but pleasure left in him.

"There's plenty more where that came from, pet," Nikomedes panted. Clothing reappeared on the Game Master's slender frame. "Just a little something to keep you comfortable in there. Pain isn't nearly as good to break a person's mind as pleasure, and we at Daedalus Inc. pride ourselves on our ability to induce pleasure. Enjoy your time in the Hall of Shame, pretty kitty."

Cyrus howled mutely as the rubber cow that had become his prison trotted merrily out of the Labyrinth and took its place on a pedestal in the Hall of Shame.

And his first customer was none other than his owner and maker, who banged him soundly for over an hour with an enormous centaur dildo before coming all over his face. The real Cyrus zipped up and smirked.

"Always wanted to fuck myself."