FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Disclaimer: Again, yeah, I dun own nuthin'!

Any way, by now, I'm expecting a lot of you, like myself, to have thoroughly enjoyed a lot of the recent offerings of Koopa-related goodness, in the form of Super Bowser RPG (the REAL name of "Mario & Luigi 3", in my opinion!), and The Return of the Magnificent 7! ("New Super Mario Bros. Wii). Awesome games, were they not? With that much said, we now anxiously await what new adventures may be in store for 2010!

I hope you all had a Happy New Year and all that good stuff. Keep it tight into the new decade!

Chapter 4 - ...Entertainment...

Back at the dinner table, Hanbei had soon received the sandwich he asked for in due time. Hanbei took a few bites, and was pleased to see that the turkey was too his liking.

"...Now, you sure that will do you for tonight...?" Bowser continued to press.

Hanbei nodded assent, as his mouth was full.

"Alright..." Bowser relented, and then continued to survey the table further. Everybody else seemed to be enjoying their meal heartily, but the Patriarch could not help but notice that his next-to-youngest son also had a fairly lean plate.

"...You too, Larry?"

"...um, oh no, Pops! It's just that I had a fairly late lunch after tennis practice, so I'm not really hungry, right now", Larry answered.

"...Cuz you ate more of my damn Hot Pockets, din't ya?!" Roy growled to his younger brother.

"...H- how didja know that I did it...?!" Larry stammered out.

"...Because you just told him, dumbass," Lemmy answered with a smug chuckle.

There was a brief moment of silence, as Roy's shaded gaze met Larry's light blue own. Larry felt the color drain from his face, and his mouth went dry.

"Ummm...I'm sorry, Roy...?" he squeaked out.

"Yo' ass's gonna be sorry!" Roy bellowed as he jumped from his seat. "Wait til I get my hands on ya, ya lil sumbitch! I'll backslap da yellow off yo' SCALES!!!"

"Whoa there, big fella!" Reacting quickly, Junior shot up from his seat. It was all that he could but wrap his arms around Roy's large frame from behind and do his best to hold Roy still. He was literally the only means that kept Roy from probably being ready to leap across the table, and make good on his threats towards Larry. The weight training regiment he and his brother set up for each other must be doing something right, for him to able to hold Roy as he is.

"Get da fuck offa me, Bow J!" Roy struggled to free himself from Junior's makeshift hold.

"No, Roy...it doesn't have to be like this..." Junior uttered calmly.

"Roy, sit down!" Bowser ordered.

"But dat lil punk-ass stole from me! Dat should give me plenty reason to ACTUALLY 'beat his ass like he stole sumthin'! Cuz he DID!"

Junior looked over to Hanbei with a half-way pleading look in his eyes. If there was any one who could bring Roy down, especially when he or his father could not, it was him. Junior had expected him to be up, helping him to hold Roy. Instead, the pale blue turtle was still calmly in his seat, enjoying a few sips from his tea.

However, after Hanbei had replaced his glass on the table, he closed his eyes and calmly started to speak.

"...Roy. Your father and youngest brother are right. This is definitely not 'on'."

"But I'm sayin' tho'! He's da one dat's wrong! Why you and ev'rybody else takin' his side?" Roy answered.

"For the moment, this is not about 'right', 'wrong', or taking sides, so much as it is about handling this situation correctly. It starts with you taking your seat, and remembering to control your temper. You have been told more than once about your quickness to anger..."

Roy grumbled, but his friend serving as his outward voice of reason did the trick. He made his way over to his seat, and motioned to Junior that it was okay to release him.

"Now, Larry...I hope you do understand why exactly your older brother is upset, yes?" Hanbei said, as he addressed the younger blue-haired brother.

"Uh...yeah!" Larry answered nervously. "I was intending to pay him back, too! Honest!"

"...Money or replacement 'pockets. By Sunday. Ya got dat...?" Roy glared at Larry once more.

"..Right, right!" Larry quickly answered, not wanting to incite any more of his older brother's wrath.

Morton started to snicker, in amusement of seeing his immediate younger brother taken down a peg.

"...Morton, your damn ass ain't got no reason to chuckle," Roy said as he looked Morton's way.

"Wha chu talkin' bout, my pink playa?" Morton smiled widely to his older sibling.

"Jus cuz ya ain't the one who stole my pockets, doesn't mean I forgot about all that shit ya 'borrowed' from me over the years. Some of it ya ain't returned yet!" Roy growled.

"...Aight den! Fine! You can have it all back! I'm good for it!"

"...Ya had better..."

"...right after I get the CD back from Nikki's place!"

"...wait...what?" Roy's anger started to flare up again.

"...I mean, when she heard that I had dat old school joint starrin' DJ Vector, Espio and dem, I had to let her hear it! Then she let her lil girlfriends hear it too...!"

"...Hold up. So ya tellin' me, that ya took the muthafuckin' Chaotix Clan CD that I lent to you...keyword: 'LENT!'...and took it over to one of yo' pigeon's place?"

"...Dun worry! After I get back from her, or one of her friends, you'll have it back!"

Roy started to laugh in mock amusement, as his face was covered by his open palm.

"...Ya don't even know where da damn thing is, huh?"

"Ummm....I have a good idea where it is..."

Junior swore he saw a few veins bulge on Roy's pink head. This was definitely not a good look for either of his immediate older brothers, right now.

"Breathe, Roy," Hanbei urged calmly.

"...Lemme put it to ya like this, Mort. Your ass either gets MY CD back, and I mean YESTERDAY, or I'll be coming for dat ass. You'll be getting' a MOON to match with that star birthmark on yo' face, do I make myself clear?!" Roy threatened with a fist point in his brother's direction.

"...crystal," Morton sheepishly replied.

"...And God help ya if dat shit is scratched...or worse!"

"I'll personally see to it that you get a replacement, Roy, if such a thing is necessary," Bowser attempted to pacify his most hot-blooded son.

"It's da principle of da thing, King Dad! Plus I got dat autographed at the concert from back in '98! No way you can replace dat much!"

Roy let an audible grunt of discontent as he angrily took a bite out of his steak.

"...See? Dis is EXACTLY why some people can't have nice things, Bow J..."

Junior overheard his father make a slightly audible sigh.

A while back, Bowser did more to admit it to his son, in confidence, that Roy was always the most "challenging" of his siblings to raise. But he could not be so mad, because he saw so much of himself, especially his irascible behavior, in the son that now was taller than he was.

The rest of Roy's issues came from a lot of his frustrations that he had accrued over the years. Unfortunately, as was just demonstrated, a good sum of that stemmed from members of his kin.

Even so, Bowser count it all joy that, to say the least, Roy was a completely different person from what he was when he was a little less than half the age he was now. And it had a lot to do with both Junior, and Hanbei, especially, being there to be great friends to Roy, as well as to hold him in check. So, Bowser did not take it lightly that Junior was there to intercede on Roy's behalf, as he just did mere moments ago.

Meanwhile, Roy did a few slow and deep breaths, hoping to help fizzle out the last of his immediate anger. Hanbei gave a slight nod in approval to his friend finally taking up his advice.

"Hmm, and once again, it seems that it is Hanbei who does the most to tame the 'savage beast' of the Koopa clan..." Ludwig mused.

"Hey! Don't I get at least 'partial credit', Lou?" Junior grinned at his eldest brother.

"The name is 'Ludwig'. Not 'Lude', and certainly not 'Lou'," Ludwig answered sharply.

Junior did his best not to show on his face what he really felt from that. For Ludwig to seemingly be taking such offense at Junior "calling him out of his name", one would think he would treat Junior as such.

"Double standard, much, dear brother?" Junior thought to himself.

"...Hmm, that brings up an interesting point, B-san," Hanbei interjected.

"Oh? What do you mean, Hanbei?" Bowser replied, hoping that maybe this could be able to bring the table back to a more pleasant mood.

"It was always something I thought was interesting. In time, I believe I was able to glean where my friend and his siblings got their namesakes from. Some more obvious than others..."

"Indeed!" Bowser smiled a coy smile.

"What I always wondered though was...how did this come to be? And furthermore, how did the two 'outliers', end up with quite distinctive names, compared to their siblings?"

"Hah! That's a good question, Hanbei!" Bowser grinned as he leaned back in his chair.

As Bowser started to relay such information, everybody's eyes were on him. After all, even Junior and his other children never gave but so much thought on this subject, so whatever interesting back-story that could shed more light would be news to them.

"Well, for the record, the majority were named by their mother. Whatever she may have been into at the time, or maybe even when she was able to hear something over the radio or TV, through all those labor pains, usually would end up being the name of that child in question.

For example, some old Orbison joint was playing the day your pal was born. So, 'Roy', it was. He ended up doing his little 'shades-donning' thing before he knew that lil factoid, though!" Bowser chuckled.

Roy smirked as he adjusted his trademark shades a bit.

"However, Ludwig and Junior were names that I personally picked out. Junior? Well, that much should be obvious. The moment he came into this world, and ended up looking like my awesome visage? It was just meant to be. To think, though, she was already trying to think up names for you, Junior, before you were born. Comparably lame names like 'Kyle', 'Mannie', 'Craig', 'Benjamin' or even 'Trey'..."

Junior winced at each of his possible names.

"....'Trey'? Really?! Who, in their right mind, would want to go through life with THAT name?!" he scoffed at such an idea.

"We'll never know...but don't mock those poor people, my boy. Any way, she did give her blessings to my choice of moniker for you, before her time was up, and she left this world. I like to think of you as the last gift she gave me," Bowser smiled widely.

Junior smiled at that. While true that he would never be able to have memories of his mother for himself, due to her dying soon after his birth, Bowser and a number of his other siblings pretty much made sure that her memory was kept alive. And of course, there were a few older video recordings that were within the family collection, some taken well before Junior was even a twinkle in his father's eye. The very first one he saw was one taken in the early 80s, when his Dad was donning a red, slightly frizzy Jheri Curl, and Roy was like 4-5 years old.

From those recordings, Junior was able to see that his mother, Claudia Koopa, or "Peaches" as Bowser liked to call her, was a kind and loving individual, though she still had plenty of spunk that made her compliment Bowser in a lot of ways. Surprisingly though, Claudia was often seen sporting a long, blonde mane that trailed down her back in a graceful fashion. A facet that NONE of her children inherited for themselves. The only explanation that could possibly be given was a wild twist of fate...or just the unusual genetics from Dad's side of the family.

"...And what about Ludwig?" Hanbei queried further.

"Ah, yes! Well the truth is, his name was safely decided, thanks to the night where we can guess he was conceived!" Bowser said with a widening grin.

"...excuse me...?" Ludwig uttered.

"Yeah! See, it was the first night of our honeymoon, and I wanted to make it really special for the two of us! So, I put ol' boy Beethoven in that turntable..."

"...'turntable'...?" Junior sounded out, as the term was unfamiliar to him.

"...Might be a bit young for you to remember, Junior!" Lemmy smiled.

"Yeah! So any way...there we were...we had already had some nice slow dancing to some of my other favorite classical pieces. Then by the time we got to the bed, it had actually switched over to Beethoven's 5th. And well...." Bowser snickered as he stood up.

"That was when I decided to give her an extra thrill, by doing it 'to the beat of the music'! And so, when it was all like 'DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN', I'd respond by....'UNH UNH UNH UNNNNNNNNH!!!!'" he said, as he started to actually thrust his hips against the table, to the 'tune' in his mind.

To such a display, everybody else at the table had eyes that got big as saucers. Even Roy looked like his own could burst through his shades.

"Wow, Dad. Just wow...!" Junior gave through a few amused chuckles.

"Hey! I'm 'keeping it real', as you kids so like to say! See, my thinking is, one of the many things that's wrong with the world, and today's children, is that their parents won't talk to them about relatively simple things, like sex!" Bowser said with a wide grin.

"Even if you have a point, I don't think the solution was meant to be solved like THIS, Daddy...!" Wendy exclaimed.

"Pft. Whatever! Besides, at least I know she appreciated it! Her hair was all over the damn place that night! And she threw her arms back, going all like...'Oh, YEAAAAAAAAAAAH, Bow-seeeer~!...."

"I'mma need you not to talk 'bout my Mama like dat, Dad!" Roy shook his head with a small groan.

"Whaaaat? We were a good match for each other in EVERY respect! Hell, she possibly was even more of a freak than I was, and I was most definitely a freak. I mean, how else did we end up with all 8 of you lil tykes?" he grinned.

"Heh...well, at least now we know where I got dat ol 'ratta-tat-tat-tat' action from!" Morton smiled widely.

"Boy, if that's all you got, you STILL got some ways to go! See, with yo' Mama, it was more like she was Sour Grapes, and I was the Purple Pie Man of Porcupine Peak, going every night like 'Ya-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta...ta-ta-ta-TA! POW!" Bowser finished, stomping his foot with emphasis.

Most of the males, save for Ludwig and Hanbei were now laughing heartily at that. But for Wendy, it was more like she was close to screaming.

"Thanks a lot, Dad! Now you've sullied any remaining good memories I may have had of Strawberry Shortcake!" she angrily uttered.

"He's as bad as Rule 34, on the internet!" Iggy added.

"Kids, kids...we all know that your little 'Rule 34' has NOTHING on me! I wreck the curve on perversion!" Bowser smirked, as he took his seat. "But any way...I hope this answered your question, Hanbei."

"...quite," Hanbei could only utter, with a largely neutral quieted look on his face. Roy got a few more chuckles, at his best friend's expense.

"...Never fails. It either boils down to toilet humor or a sex 'discussion,' in this family..." Ludwig groaned.

"On that note, however, Daddy..." Wendy began.

"Yes, my little Kootie Pie...?" Bowser answered, in a sing-song voice.

"What did I just say about that name...?!"

Bowser snickered.

"...ANY WAY! Hearing you talk about Mom like that...there's no doubt in my mind that you loved her dearly, and will always cherish her memory..."

"Damn right!"

"Right...so...not to let it go to your head..."

"...which one...?" he asked, with a perverted look on his face.

"Wait...what...?" she then got it quickly enough. "Oh, God! DADDY! That's ENOUGH. You're at like at 12, I'mma need you at like at 4!"

"I can promise 7! Take it or leave it!"

Wendy started to frown immensely.

"...kidding! I'll be good now," her father relented.

"Thank you!" she then proceeded. "Any way...not to let it puff up your ego, or any thing, but really...you JUST turned 50. Junior's about to turn 18 in another month and some change."

"...And your point is...?"

"...haven't you ever given thought to getting with some one else? You ain't old enough, such that you couldn't get back on the dating scene. And judging by your last few remarks you still have a VERY healthy 'drive'..."

"Gee, you think...?" Larry interjected, showcasing how thoroughly disgusted he was by his father's recent tirade. "Feel like I was gonna throw up at the back of my throat...!"

Bowser took that time to seriously process Wendy's question, and then answered.

"Well, I can say this. It's not like I haven't thought about such things. And I'd like to think that at this point, y'all are old enough, such that me getting 'boo'd up' with some one else wouldn't really affect you one way or the other."

"Right..." Wendy answered.

"That said...I dunno. I guess it's just more me, than anything else. I don't really think I could ever be able to get with any other woman, knowing that she could never hope to match my Peach. Sure, that may sound unfair, but that's the way I am. Why settle for less, when I had the best, right? That's the rule, when you're a Koopa! And don't ANY of you forget that!" he offered a smile.

"Maybe so, but...really, Pops? You mean to tell me you never saw any one that caught your eye...?" Junior queried.

Bowser looked at his youngest son, and then snickered to himself.

"...Well, when you put it that way, my boy? I guess I can be real. There has been some body I've been keeping an eye on, these last few years especially. But of course, there's always that thing that I don't know how they feel about me, or if they even are willing to entertain such an idea. And we have a nice, friendly relationship as it is. I'm not sure if I want to risk what we have now, for what could be a source of continued awkwardness later."

"Hmmm...well, I dunno. But all I can guess that could be said is...feel your way around that situation. Then if things start to lean that way...who knows?" Junior gave his namesake one of his trademark smiles.

"...Yeah....good advice, boy..." Bowser smiled earnestly back, and then went on to cut himself another portion of steak.

"...So.....who is it?" Wendy smiled as she pressed for an answer.

"...Hm?" Bowser mumbled while sinking his teeth into another bite.

"...your lil secret crush! Who is it? Maybe I could give them the once over...see if I approve of them!"

"Oh, no...you're not getting THAT much out of me," Bowser playfully evaded.

"Aw, c'mon...!" Lemmy chimed in. "At least give us an idea at who could be our new Mom!"

"No," Bowser smiled simply. "If it really gets to that level, THEN I won't have any problem sharing. Til then, no sale."

A collective groan of disappointment rose from the majority at the table. Bowser chuckled some more.

"But hey, y'all wanna be all up in my 'biz-nazz', how about we 'flip the script'! Starting with you, Junior!"

"Fine! What do you want to know?" the youngest son of Bowser answered.

"How's school going?" Bowser started of his questioning.

"Besides fighting off bouts of the ol' 'senioritis'? Just fine."

"You all set for prom tomorrow?"

"Yes, Dad..."

"And when am I actually going to be able to meet Jojo?"

At that, Junior froze up a bit at the mention that name, but then continued on just as quickly.

"...He's fine."

"Not like we would know, J. You ain't brought the cat over here in a minute," Roy interjected.

"...Is something the matter with Jojo, Junior-kou?" Hanbei asked with particular interest.

"No, again, he's fine. He just got busy over the last few months, and we haven't been able to see each other, as much."

"...Ah, well if that's the case, it's understandable," Bowser stated. But then he turned to Junior again and their similar-colored red eyes met."Even so...from what I heard about, you and he were good friends."

"...Right..." Junior slowly nodded assent.

"You and I are alike in many ways, boy. Right down to the fact that you had many who will be a part of your entourage...but the real, true blue friends are few and far between. And those are the ones you should be keeping close. Hopefully, you won't let that cat wander away for too long," Bowser finished.

Junior nodded, and went back to take another swig of his drink.

"Thanks a lot, Dad..." Junior thought to himself with a bit of annoyance. Thankfully, by the time, Bowser turned his questions toward Larry, it took the heat off of the youngest of the Koopa clan.

Yes, it was indeed true that he and his father were a lot alike. Probably right down to their ability to be able to "see through" people. And while Junior liked to think his talent for such a thing had only gotten better over the years, perhaps his father still had him beat. He had no way of knowing if Bowser had seen right through him, or was not even trying. And of course, for some one in Junior's position, not knowing exactly what the other was thinking was the worst part. No...scratch that. Being forced to reveal the truth, and removing all doubt, would have been the worst part.

In any case, just hearing that name was enough to bring back the memories. A lot of them quite good, but...painful all the same, now. And he really did not want to go back there at the moment, if possible.

"...And what about you, aoi hana?" his father's voice rang out, interrupting Junior's thoughts. Who was he to know that his father would move so quickly amongst those gathered?

"...I'd rather you not call me that, B-san," Hanbei said with a bit of embarassment.

"Nonsense! That's what your Daddy called you! And since he called me 'the little brother he never had', that makes like your uncle, which affords me the same privileges!" Bowser said with smile.

"...in what way?" Hanbei asked with an amused look on his face.

"Cuz! Your Daddy and I were like this...!" Bowser stated, as he twisted his hands around to lock his two pinkies together, further illustrating his point. "Like you and Roy!"

"Truth," Roy chimed in with a smirk.

"So, I'm certain that by the time you guys, as you kids say, 'get it on and poppin' with families of your own, you'll only do more to continue the proud tradition of Kagamis and Koopas! That much I'm sure of!" Bowser smiled.

"That's enough, Dad!" Roy groaned.

"...what?"

"Sorry Pop-a-roo, but you've been going way out of your lane, using a terms reserved for people aged 30 and under. You've instantly rendered them all 'uncool', and forced the rest of us young folks to think up new slang to replace them. Thanks a lot!" Lemmy chuckled, with Junior joining him soon after.

"What...?!" Bowser snorted. "I'm ONLY 50 years old! I'm still fly!"

"...and there goes another one! Some body stop him, before he puts urbandictionary.com out of business!" Lemmy laughed some more.

"There is such a thing as aging gracefully, father dear," Ludwig added after taking a sip of ice-water from his glass. "In other words, you can't expect to be 'with it', at your age."

"Bah on all of you nonbelievers! Remember, only reason you kids of mine are HALF as cool as you are, is because my manly seed hit your mother's eggs just right! Why, back in my day...!"

"...Ya did sum crazy shit in the 70s, like joinin' da Black Raptor Party 'n basically act a fool befo' Mom came along and straightened ya out. We heard about all dis already!" Morton stated.

"And it's all true! Plus more where that came from that of none of ya know about in full!" Bowser stated with an air of pride.

"Whatever floats your boat, King Dad," Roy said with mild amusement, before turning to his best friend. "Any way, Bei-bei...what else did ya bring home from Japan with you?"

"'Lest you forget, all of the gifts for everyone else, including you, are up in your room, waiting for us after dinner," Hanbei simply stated.

"Oh, don't be like that, nii-chan..." Junior smiled.

"Do you know how to throw a Hadouken yet?" Lemmy said with as much of a straight face as he could muster.

"Hadouken? Maybe he's up to doing a Kamehameha by now!" Iggy chimed in.

"Fuck dat shit!" Morton interrupted. "Lizza prolly knows how to be jugglin' lizzas in da air, like dis Tekken, Marvel vs. Capcom or sumthin'! Or maybe he can rip a lizza's still-beatin' heart right out its body like Kano, from Mortal Kombat, or sum shit! Fo' no other reason cuz da lizza's gangsta!"

All eyes were quickly on the quite, pale-blue turtle, interested in seeing just what he had to say. Gathering his composure from being forced into the center of attention so drastically, he cleared his throat, and began.

"...I'm afraid I don't have anything quite that spectacular to show you," Hanbei smiled.

"Well, c'mon, give us a lil sumthin-sumthin', Bei-Bei! Could be anything! Cuz we know ya didn't go over there and come back, without learning some new skills that some how make ya awesomer!" Roy said.

"Ya meant 'more awesome'," Roy's own voice answered him, from Hanbei's mouth.

"...Wait, what?" Roy asked.

"...What's da matter, not used to hearin' your own voice, partna?" Hanbei said, mimicking his best friend's deep voice and tone perfectly.

"Hold up! Ya can mimic my voice?!" Roy bellowed.

Hanbei laughed in Roy's style.

"What else ya expect from the one who knows ya bettah den ya know yaself?" Hanbei asked, again in his friend's tone.

"Heh, nicely done, Hanbei!" Bowser congratulated. "Really sounded like Roy was talking to himself!"

"Thanks, King Dad!" Hanbei said once more in Roy's voice, drawing a few more laughs from the table, before switching back to his own. "Another thing I picked up. Such a thing like vocal mimicry has been a skill that's ran in families like mine for ages. Very useful trick-of-the-trade, if you will."

"Dat's some good shit! Glad you on my side, Bei-bei!" Roy chuckled.

"Well, I already know how to copy your chicken-scratch that you call writing, as well as have gone on to memorize your credit card and social security numbers. This was a logical next step, I would think."

"Tru dat....wait, what?" Roy began to ask.

"Funny stuff, Hanbei! And I might have to ask you more about that later! But you gotta have more for us than that!" Lemmy smiled.

"Hey, why don't you show them that one now?" Billy suggested.

"Yeah!" Jimmy agreed.

Hanbei mused for a while, and then nodded.

"Alright...since dinner is basically over any way, how about you leave it to me to 'kill the lights'?" Hanbei smirked as he stood up. "I shall extinguish the candles nearest to Ludwig and Junior, without moving from my seat."

"Hmmm? And how would you go about doing such a thing?" Junior asked, intrigued.

"Watch...! This is good...!" Jimmy smiled broadly to Junior, before turning back to watch Hanbei.

Hanbei began with showing that there was nothing up his sleeves, in almost stereotypical magician form. Then he pointed his right index finger at the candle about 3 feet away from Junior's dinner, and then...made a snap with his fingers. The candle was then immediately extinguished, right in front of Junior's eyes.

Soon afterward, Hanbei quickly turned to the one that was similarly positioned in front of Ludwig's plate, and repeated the same gesture. This successfully resulted in the young Kagami snuffing out that candle, as well.

Immediately afterward, came various gasps of amazement, following small applause at the "trick" that was just performed live, for the Koopa family.

"...how did you friggin' DO that?!" Junior asked, still in awe.

"...I must admit, I too am very impressed, Hanbei," Ludwig agreed.

"Well, normally this wouldn't be the kind of thing I would tell in such detail. But really, if you want to know the basis for how that worked....look at the candles themselves," Hanbei suggested with a satisfied smile.

Ludwig and Junior would then look at their respective candles, with their various siblings, as well as their father, all jumping up from their seats and crowding around the youngest and oldest sons of the family. All hoping to be able to see for themselves just how their favorite guest performed this "trick".

Junior took a closer at the wick of the candle, and was surprised to see that the top of the wick had actually been severed cleanly, from its base. And at the base of the wick, there lied a very thin needle, about and an inch and a quarter in length.

"A needle...?" He and Ludwig seemed to utter at the same time.

"Where'd ya shoot it from, your fingers, Bei-bei?" Roy asked, looking to his friend.

"Noooooo..." Billy and Jimmy giggled.

"...but then where...?" Ludwig started to ask, before he looked closer to the pale blue turtle himself.

Hanbei himself was snickering as he was lightly biting into his lip, letting his pearly-white teeth show. But what was really eye-catching was seeing the same type of needle jutting from between his teeth and his lower lip.

"...Your MOUTH?" Wendy's eyes widened.

"Whoa whoa whoa...back dat shit up! Dis lizza is shooting fuckin' NEEDLES from his mouth now?!" Morton shouted.

Hanbei then pointed towards the candle that was across from Bowser's plate. This time, he did not snap his fingers, allowing everyone to hear the actual, light sound of him blowing the needle from his mouth, and to its intended target. The candle's wick soon lost its light, as well.

"....SO GANGSTA!" Morton cackled.

"Hanbei muthafuckin' Kagami, ladies and gentlemen! You dun' fuck wit' dis man! He could kill ya 5 different ways before ya hit the ground and take your last breath!" Roy said proudly, as he wrapped his arm around his best friend's neck once more.

"...Actually, I'm up to 7 ways of being able to kill a man," Hanbei smiled softly.

"...Really, now? Scurred of you, Bei-bei....!" Roy said with a throaty laugh.

"Hey, light blue! How 'bout you hookin' a brutha up wit' some lessons?" Morton said with a grin.

"Hmm?" Hanbei looked to the brown Koopa.

"You gots ta teach me how to do dat! Just think! I could be gettin' mo' bitches left 'n right, if I got some mo' stuff to add on to my game! Cuz, as I'm sure you know, bitches love tricks!"

"...Morton...you and your big mouth is gonna get your face slapped...!" Wendy threatened.

"Hey! Notice dat I said 'bitches'. Not girls. Not ladies. Not women. Bitches! Cuz there IS a difference!" her immediate younger brother smiled back at her.

"Hey...nii-chan..." Junior began with a smile. "How long did it take you to get good at this?"

"I'd wager...the better portion of 9 months' worth of practice in order to get truly proficient with it," Hanbei smiled back.

"9 MONTHS?!" Morton shouted, in disbelief.

"Yeah, and my 'teacher,' for better or worse, said that I probably was an accelerated learner, due to me having extensive training in such arts since I was 2," the wartortle concluded.

"Well, shit. Wish ya had told me all dat BEFORE I got all excited," Morton grunted. "Dat's too much work!"

"Lazy-ass lizza..." Roy trailed off.

"Pot callin' da kettle black, bruh-man? At least I actually go out and do sumthin' wit' my day! What 'bout chu?!" Morton spat back.

But before Roy could utter a retort, Kamek came into the room, breathing heavily and exasperated.

"Mr. Koopa! You must listen to me!" he gasped.

"Ah, Kamek, what are you still doing here? I told you that the work day was over, and to take it easy the rest of the weekend! Y'know, with your wife!"

"I know, sir...but..." Kamek began.

"I thought I told you before, I DON'T want to get on that woman's bad side. She thinks I work you too hard enough as it is, and I've been doing everything I can to try and prove I'm not trying to!"

"Indeed, sir...however...!"

"And I'm sure she probably has plans for you, as I speak!" Bowser continued with a wide smile. "Lotion'd up her body, all nicely, just waiting for Tommy-boy to come home with his 'Tommy-gun' primed and ready!"

"Ewww, Dad! STOP!" Larry pleaded, on his behalf, as well as his siblings. "I do NOT want such visions in my head!"

Junior could see that Mr. Kamek was just about at the breaking point. He counted mentally in his head. And by the time he reached zero, it was clear that Kamek could just not take it any more.

"Mr. Koopa! THIS is a matter that is very pressing! And NO, it can NOT wait until Monday!" he shrieked.

Bowser grunted, resuming a more professional tone.

"Fine. Just what is so damn important, relating to the business, that it couldn't wait until I got back to my desk on Monday?!" Bowser said in a tone that clearly showcased his displeasure, as he towered over the smaller turtle man.

"Now, I distinctly remember saying that I did not want to be bothered by things pertaining to the business, so that I could enjoy this weekend with my family, and close-enough-to-be-family. Is that so much to ask?"

"...but that's the thing, sir!" Kamek said, resuming his meek deposition. "It's not related to the business, at all!"

"Oh? Then just what is this supposed emergency?" Bowser asked, truly intrigued.

"...it's your father,sir," Kamek squeaked. "He's on his way here to visit for the weekend."

Junior swore he could see the green drain from his father's face. And then he made his dread truly apparent.

" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Bowser bellowed at the top of his lungs.