Tina's Story Chapter 64 -Reach Out in the Darkness
TINA'S STORY CHAPTER 64- REACH OUT IN THE DARKNESS
"There was a man that I did not care for,
And then one day, this man gave me a call.
We sat and talked, about things on our minds,
And now this man, he is a friend of mine."
'Reach out in the Darkness'
It was lunchtime, and Tina was still at her desk. She was debating whether to go get something to eat, or to go visit with her husband Ray. Unexpectedly, Felicia appeared at her door.
"Mrs. Goldstein, May I talk to you?"
Tina snapped back from her private thoughts.
"Of course; come in. You want to shut the door?"
Which she did. Felicia sat down at Tina's desk. Unlike most days however, Felicia displayed none of her usual attitude. Looking down, Felicia looked even smaller than usual.
"What can I do for you, Felicia?" Tina inquired.
Felicia was very quiet, before gathering up the nerve to speak.
'I need to go to the doctor's this afternoon."
Tina paused, then spoke.
"That's fine, Felicia; your attendance has been good. "
Tina sensed there was more, so she inquired further.
"Is there anything else?"
The slight Siamese said nothing, but began to cry. Instinctively, Tina went to her side.
"What is it dear?"
It was some moments before Felicia could choke back the tears enough to speak.
"I'm getting.....an abortion, and I'm scared. I don't want to go alone. I wondered if.....you would go with me. "
"Why me dear? Tina was confused by the request.
"My sister.........still looks up to me. Maybe the only one who does. I don't want her to see me this way."
"What about Nina? You're friends"
Felicia shook her head
"Nina has other things to deal with. "
"But, why me?"
Felicia looked up.
"Because you seem nice. You didn't try to fire me. And there's nobody else."
She paused, then continued.
"I'm so scared! I've never been to a doctor before."
Tina was taken back.
"Never? But dear, you're in your mid twenties!"
Felicia nodded in agreement.
"I got my school shots at the nurse. My parents never took us to the doctor. "
"You've never been to the doctor for your girl parts?"
Felicia shook her head 'no'
At this point, Tina's maternal instincts took over. Any hostility she harbored was gone.
"Of course I'll take you! Let me get my coat."
They walked down to Tina's car in silence. Tina pulled into traffic, and headed for the medical building. Tina decided to ask Felicia something;
"Does...the father know?"
Felicia shook her head.
"I don't know who the father is."
Tina was shocked.
"You don't know?"
Felicia dropped her head.
"I'm not sure. It could be the guy in the bar. It could be.......my father."
Tina instantly regretted asking, but didn't know what to do now. Felicia began to cry, and she started speaking quickly
"I love children! I want to be a mom so bad! But....I can't. Not now. Not the way things are...."
Tina put out a hand to comfort her.
"There, there. No need to cry......"
By then, they had arrived at the Medical Center. Driving up to the entrance, they were greeted by protesters. A large group of Pro Lifers, a smaller group of counter protesters. The clinic had someone to take Tina's car; there were escorts to get them into the clinic. As they walked the path to the front door, the picketers screamed at them. Some of the things they yelled were the most awful things you could imagine. The escorts rushed them inside. Tina walked Felicia to the front desk. The nurse, a friendly Fennec smiled as she helped Felicia fill out papers. In about ten minutes, they were ready for the Siamese out back.
"We're ready for you. Follow me..."
"Wait...." Felicia stammered "Can....can she be with me?"
Tina leaned over to the nurse.
"She's never been to a doctor before."
The nurse looked at Tina in shocked silence. Then, a soft smile.
"Let me see what we can do...."
A moment later, the nurse showed them into the room without another word.
Tina helped Felicia to get undressed; she then slipped the exam gown on her. While they waited, Tina explained what the doctor was likely to do, and how it would feel. Finally, the doctor came in. He was a red wolf, tall and handsome. Tina couldn't help but think that under other circumstances, Felicia would have been all over him.
"Hi. I'm Dr London. I'll be doing your procedure today. First though, I need to do an examination. "
The doctor went slowly, and was very gentle. He described things as he did them. For her part, Tina sat at the head of the table, stroking her hair, and holding her hand. When the exam was over, and after Dr. London explained what he was going to do, they began to prepare for the procedure. The kindly nurse gave Felicia a shot of Valium, but, even so, Felicia had a look of stark terror on her face.
"Mrs. Goldstein, I'm so scared!"
Tina kept stroking her hair, speaking to her in calm, soothing tones.
"We'll get you through this. It will just be a little uncomfortable. But you're one brave cat! You've been through so much. You'll be just fine!"
And then it began. The insertion of the speculum. The scraping of her uterus. The suctioning out of it's contents. But as Tina had predicted, she made it through. By now, Felicia was an ashen gray color. The doctor explained aftercare, and what to expect, but he wasn't at all sure that the Siamese was comprehending. Wisely, the doctor repeated the instructions for Tina's benefit. Once the anesthesia had mostly worn off, Felicia was wheeled to the car. Tina picked her up at the back door, so that she didn't have to face the protesters.
Soon, they were away. Tina stopped on the way home to fill her prescriptions, and to get some feminine supplies. Felicia didn't speak, except to give her her home address. It was a nondescript apartment. A little nicer than Tina's, but not much. Parking the car, Tina went to help Felicia upstairs.
"You.....don't have to." She protested.
"Don't be silly. I can't leave you at the curb, with all you've been through. Here, put your arm around my shoulders, and we'll get you upstairs. "
Once upstairs, Tina lay Felicia on the sofa, while she unmade the bed. She helped her to the bath, and helped her clean herself. Then she dressed her in a clean nightgown, had her take her medications, and tucked her in bed. As Tina finished tucking her in, Felicia spoke.
"Please....."
"What dear?" Tina leaned over the bed.
"Don't leave me alone."
Tina looked down, meeting her scared eyes with kindness.
"I won't leave you, dear. I'll be right here."
Tina pulled a chair to Felicia's bedside. Before long, the anesthesia began to wear off. Felicia's face was racked with pain.
"Hurting, dear?" Tina inquired
"Worst....pain....ever."
Tina leaned over and took her hand.
"The drugs will help soon. And I'll be here until you can care for yourself.
Tina was good for her word. She held her hand, until the drugs allowed her to sleep. She was there to help Felicia up in the night. And to calm her fears. As the night wore on, Felicia's periods of sleep lengthened. While she slept, Tina walked around the apartment. Fairly sparse, and fairly plain. There were pictures of Felicia with her sister. There were no pictures of anyone else. On about five, Tina made coffee. Rumaging in the fridge, she found a container of pineapple yogurt that wasn't past it's date. She had that with her coffee. While she ate, she called Ray.
"Hey, Hon. I wake you?"
"Naw, I needed to get up for the dog anyway. The babies will be up soon. She OK?"
"Yeah. Pretty much. Can you bring me a change of clothes? Oh, and my travel bag. "
"What do you want?"
"Pick out something pretty. I need that. Especially the undies. Find something pretty."
"Love you."
"Love you too. Kiss the babies for me."
"Will do. Bye."
Tina finished her breakfast, and grabbed a quick shower. By then Ray had brought her clothes. Tina was almost dressed when Felicia struggled up.
"Well, look who's up"
Trying to focus, Felicia spoke
"You're beautiful. How'd you do that?"
"Magic. You going to be OK?"
"Uh huh. I think so. "
"Get some rest. I'll take care of things until you feel better. "
Tina gathered her things to go. She stopped first to make sure that Felicia made it back to bed. To her surprise, Tina kissed the dozing cat on the forehead. She opened her eyes.
"Your kids are lucky." Felicia said softly
"Thank you, dear, but why do you say that?"
"Because they have you for a mom. I wish I did."
Tears came to Tina's eyes. She sat on the bed beside Felicia.
"You can't change what was. But you can be the best mom you can be. You did a brave thing. You realized you weren't ready for that yet. When you are, you be the best mom you can be."
Tina tucked Felicia in one last time, but her eyes were already closed. She did however have the tiniest of smiles.....
Tina got in Binky, and headed for the office, stopping on the way for another coffee, a large one.
"People aren't bad," Tina thought, "but bad things happen to some people. No one decides to take the wrong course in life, but many do. Tina found herself hoping that something had changed for the better in Felicia's life.