The illegals and the hatred!

Story by Shinnjacob on SoFurry

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Hello, ladies and gentlemen of SoFurry! I've decided to take a break on making tickling stories, and decided to make a satire on the left, the liberals, and illegal immigration as a whole. For those of the left, liberals and illegal immigrants out there, this is supposed to be a JOKE story! So PLEASE don't take it seriously! Anyway, enjoy the show!


As the television got turned on, a sign appeared on the screen that said: ''Squirrel News!" and then disappeared after a few seconds. The camera then revealed to what appeared to be a orange male anthropomorphic squirrel, smiling with his buck teeth showing, as he hold a paper on his hand.

''Good evening ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Squirrel News, I am Bucky Harry, your host, and we got a hot, breaking story for you today! There was a poster on the website called, ''8000Sans'' that seemed to have cause a LOT of controversy lately, it was a post called: ''It's ok to be a dragon'' and it got viral all over the Internet, and it has spread over the collage campus and universities as well. A lot of people got angry over the poster's, ''hateful'' and ''offensive'' quote, and that they feel insulted when it said that dragons should be accepted into society. According to a Dear University professor, Kale Wolfy, this poster seemed to have spread so much hatred and despicableness that it shouldn't be allowed to exist, and that dragons shouldn't be accepted as people at all, saying that dragons tend to MORE racist and specist towards other people than all other furries!'' he said.

The other camera turned on to reveal what appeared to be a old, blue, female wolf wearing her formal university suit, wearing her reading glasses. ''I have Kale Wolfy as she joins us today. Uh, good afternoon, Kale, I'm glad to have you here on this show.'' he said. ''Thank you, it is glad to be here!'' she said. ''Uh, Kale, there was a LOT of controversy towards this poster, there were people that posted things on Pawbook saying that this poster is promoting racism and hatred by allowing dragons into society, and there were posts that said something like: ''We will NOT tolerate any posters that says that racists should be accepted as people!'' and ''Dragons must NEVER EVER be treated as people and they should all die and go to hell!'' Now, Kale, why would you believe that such a poster like this saying that it's ok to be a dragon would be considered hateful and racist? Why would you believe such a thing?''

''Well, first of all, Bucky, we have been going through racists, bigots and sexist people who would post a bunch of nasty, slanderous, and unfounded things online when it comes to race, religion, sex, etc. And I believe that this poster explains exactly why! This poster saying that we should accept dragons and say it's ok to be like them is not only stupid, and despicable, but it's also REALLY racist and REALLY bigoted to those who wanted equality and-''

''WOAH, woah woah woah woah woah, let me- let me stop you right there, Kale. Are you telling me, that THIS poster that promotes equality and love and care to the dragons is considered to be hateful, slanderous and racist? Like, how would that poster be considered to be-''

''Because-''

''You have- you ha- you have squirrels out there, ok, you got the squirrels that complained about not being treated fairly because they didn't get the same rights or privileges as other people do, right? And then you have- like there were DRAGONS out there, ok, that tell us that they were being treated as the, uh... the um big devils or satans out there that are destined to destroy anyone, or even- blow FIRES at their houses and terrorized everyone, and I talked with the dragons out there that said that they wanted everyone to get along and that we shouldn't discriminate others because of their species or races, Kale, how would you respond to those claims?''

''Ok, first of all- I-I-I would just like to say that... I have NO idea where those racists out there are even talking about anymore, but this whole thing of letting racists and bigots into our country is something we should not tolerate or allow in the first place! We shouldn't consider the dragons to be accepted or even friends to us, and-and-and, Bucky I have children- Grandchildren, alright, that say that they wanted to have peace with the dragons, and I would say to them, 'No kids, you should NEVER get along with these jerks in your life and if you even dare come close to them, I will beat the living... um, POOP out of you until you agree with me and-''

''WOAH WOAH WOAH, so you're an abusive grandparent now?''

''Well- NO, I'm just saying-''

''You just told me-''

''Look, I'm just-''

''Did your parents even teach you to even beat someone for disagreeing with you? I mean that's ju-''

''NO LISTEN TO ME!! I-I-I'm trying to say- What I'm trying to say here is that we live in a sad, unforgiving world where- The dragons- those evil monstrous winged creatures they were allowed to invade our country, and say whatever nasty things they wanted like saying, ''We dragons want to be treated as equals, just like anyone else!'' and-''

''Ok but that's not racist or hatred, it's-''

''YES, YES it is! It IS RACIST!!! IT IS...''

''No no no no no, Kale, I-I-''

''THIS IS RACIST AND INJUSTICE!! WE SHOULD NOT ALLOW-''

''Wait, wait hold on a- hold on a second, Kale, I don't understand what you're coming from, are you saying that dragons shouldn't have the right to free speech? Are you saying that dragons shouldn't be allowed to have equality or equal right? Is that what you are saying, ma'am?''

''Look, I believe in free speech, and I believe anyone can say whatever nasty things they want, even offensive things like this, but what I'm getting at is that those dragons shouldn't have free speech because they go after people for having free speech, they DARE tell us that we don't have the right to take away their rights or demand that they should be removed-''

''So you really ARE saying that they shouldn't have free speech, correct?''

''Yea- What, no! I'm just saying that-''

''You just said that-''

''Those-Those-It's- It's those racist posters that I cannot stand, and why I need them to be banned and-''

''Wait, so you claim you believe in free speech, but then you just said that dragons shouldn't have free speech? HAhahahaha! Come on, Kale, who are you-''

''NO NO NO!!! I-I-I-I-''

''NO nononononono, come on Kale, who are you fooling? Who are you fooling? Why are you being a hypocrite here?''

''I-I'm not being a hypocrite, those posters are racist and promote hatred, I just told you about a few seconds ago! And the dragons are-''

''Ok ok ok ok, but but but... but- but Kale, D-do you believe in equal rights to everyone, do you believe everyone should have equality?''

''Well absolutely, I DO believe that, I believe that equality should be accepted to everyone!''

''Ok, so that includes dragons, right?''

''Yes, wh- NONONO!!! NO NO RIGHTS, NO EQUALITY TO THEM, NO!! NO, NOT AT ALL I REFUSE TO-''

''Hahahahahahahahaha oh my god! This is just getting ridiculous!''

''-GIVING RIGHTS TO THEM IS LIKE GIVING RIGHTS TO MURDERERS, RACISTS, BIGOTS, SEXIST, ALL THESE- All these diseases and plagues that should be TREATED as one and should never be treated as equ-''

''Ok, Kale I-''

''THESE RACISTS DRAGONS TAKE AWAY OUR RIGHTS AND WE SHOULD NOT ALLOW THEM TO-''

"Kale kale kale, listen, listen those dragons they-''

''-NOT ACCEPT THEM OR TREAT THEM LIKE THEY EXIST, WE MUST TREAT THEM AS DEVILS AND-''

''Kale kale KALE!!! Please listen I-''

"-HAVE ENOUGH OF DRAGONS I HATE THEM, I NEVER WANT TO SEE THEIR STUPID WINGS, THEIR STUPID LONG FACES OR THEIR CLAWED FINGERS OR FEET I WANT THEM DEAD AND I WANT THEM TO-''

''Ok ok ok ok, Kale I-''

''-I DRANK TONS OF WHISKEY TRYING TO GET RID OF THE THOUGHTS OF DRAGONS AND HAVE BEATEN THE OTTERS, THE BEARS AND ANYONE ELSE WHO DISAGREED WITH ME AND I-''

"Ok, I think we need to end this, thank for your time, bye!'' Just as the old lady continued to ramble, the camera cut off, as Bucky sighed in annoyance. ''Wow, that was a real pain! *Sigh*... So there you have it folks, we already got our wonderful guest with us today! Next up, our breaking news about President Admit Hai. So he's the President of the SCC and-'' And then the television has been turned off.

2 minutes later... The television now turned on again, and after the sign: ''Squirrel News!'' appeared again, smiling again with a paper on his hands. ''Good evening everyone, and welcome back to Squirrel News, I'm Bucky Harry, your host, and tonight, we got another special story for you, uh, there appeared to be a collage campus at the state of New Furry, and the students there were encouraged to create their, ''free spaces'' for every bear student to, ''have their rights to free speech respected and accepted''. Reports say that there were other students who were NOT bears and/or disagreed with them have apparently been, ''beaten'', ''thrown out'', ''called fascists and racists'' and then killed, and some of those students got arrested on charges of murder, and a professor named, John Bearer, defended those students saying that, ''they have the right to free speech and not let anyone take away their free spaces'' Right now, I have John Bearer joining us for tonight.''

The second camera then showed a brown, tall male bear smiling really big and politely. ''Good evening John, I want to thank you for joining us tonight.''

''My pleasure.''

''So John, we have your students at that campus who were shouting, yelling and even MURDERING, ok, innocent people who say that, ''Oh no, I have to disagree about your statement about squirrels,'' and all that, and then- They-they- they all got shouted, they all got beaten, they all got yelled at, and they all got killed and they panicked, and crying for their parents, how could you DEFEND such things for those students? Can you please explain to us?''

''Heh heh, well uh, first, I want to thank you for having me as your guest on television. And uh... as a well-respected, highly intellect professor of a well-respected college, of COURSE I'm going to defend those students! Because you see... Uuuuh, we-we have free speech in this great country, and we, obviously, wanted to have peace, a talk and uh... uuuuuuh a g-g- a chance to, you know, have our own opinions and we're allowed to disagree, but um, when you have other people that are... willing to say, 'Hey, I think you should stop discriminating against squirrels' and all that, they have the right to use any weapons and any violence necessary to protect their free speech and their rights!''

''WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH, Hold it hold it hold it hold it! A-Are you... are you SERIOUSLY suggesting that those students who DISAGREED with you, those stu-''

''Oh nononono, they weren't, 'disagreeing' with us, by any means, uuuuh, we just don't tolerate mean... uh speeches that hurt our feelings, since it is bullying and-''

''But they were practicing- they were protecting their OWN freedom of speech, and yet YOUR students have the nerve to murder those people!? Because of their disagreements? How could you POSSIBLY justify that kind of stuff? That's what I'm asking, because-beca- H-How, W-Why did you allow those students to use spike bats, machine guns, revolvers, ANY kind of weapons on the campus to go and kill those people when you claimed that you are the SUPPORTER of free speech? How does that make any sense?''

''Well... Well, it makes sense, because when we don't like the way they speak and the way they bully and harass us with stupid, unfounded evidence like how the squirrels are people as well and something like that-''

''Oh my god...'' Bucky said as he started to facepalmed as he continued. ''-Then I say that... as lo- as long we have free spaces to protect our rights, and... as long as if our feelings can convince other people that we're in the right, then yes, I believe that we have the right to kill for violating our free speech.''

"You... YOU are fucking CRAZY!!! You must be a PSYCHOPATH to think that-''

''NO no... No, I'm not- I'm no-''

''YOU LITERALLY just killed innocent people JUST to protect your so called free-''

''Look look we- We- I-''

''YOU ESCAPED jail and came ALL the way here, to be our guest, just to tell those outrageous things about THEM not agreeing with your ideas?''

''Ok look Bucky, I-''

''I don't see how you can justify dictating what other people should believe just by KILLING them? Why would you forbid people for EVER calling you out?''

''L-L-Look Bucky, look, I just... I just want you to calm down, ok? As you know, I taught a lot of issues and race issues to other people, so... I-I think I can be a reasonable, and honest person, so please... allow me to express my thought.''

Bucky sighed and tried to calm down. ''Ok then, John... please, go ahead.''

''Ok, I believe that in the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United Furries, that we DO have the right to free speech! And that equality must be protected and accepted as rights!''

''Mmhm...''

''So, by telling those fascists, racists assholes out there that say that we are the Nazis and violators of free speech, then we ARE protecting free speech and promoting equal rights for EVERYONE in the world and in the campus-''

''Oh I give up... Why did I even invite you here...?''

''... And so, my proud students have STOOD UP for themselves and tell them that this is not right! And that saying that we should NEVER kill journalists, dragons, otters, bears, squirrels and other furries for their disagreements will PROVE just how much they dictate our lives and suspend ALL of our rights and that-''

''Ok, I have just about enough of you... I'm cutting you off.''

''NO WAIT Bucky I'm not finished! Our Proud Founding Mothers told us that we should allow ANYONE to voice their opinions! So those people they kill actually VIOLATED our rights and our FEELINGS!!! We have EVERY RIGHT to tell them that words hurt! And that WE are the victims and THEY are the predators, and-''

''SECURITY!!!'' Bucky yelled, as two security buff male bulls with sunglasses tried to take him away as the camera turned off.

''*Sighs*... Well... everyone... I... I hope this might save you from the... UNBELIEVABLE PAIN I suffered and from that maniac that came to my station! I hope you all have a wonderful night, thanks for watching, once again I'm Bucky Harry, see you next time!''

Now the television got turned on again, and after the sign saying: ''Squirrel News!'' again, it disappeared, and Bucky Harry is no longer holding the paper, but smiling. ''Good morning everyone, welcome to Squirrel News, I'm your host, Bucky Harry! Today's story seems to be a rather serious and tragic one. An illegal immigrant from Mexico named Juan Lopez was arrested for murdering five civilians at Bull's High School, his species appeared to be a male fox who doesn't speak a lick of English, and the police were suspecting that he had a wife and three children, and now the country has called for his deportation. His wife named Maria Gumalape, was sad and angered by his order of deportation, and is now suing the United Furries for, ''emotional distress'' and ''injustice''. Her attorney by the name of Jackson Wright, a male blue wolf who has taken 5 years of experience in law, is now taking the case, and he is now joining us for today!''

Now the camera turned on, revealing to be a male blue wolf, who looked serious, like he was determined to take his case seriously. ''Good morning Jackson Wright, I want to thank you for joining us in this show.'' ''No problem, Bucky Harry.''

''So... Jackson Wright, you seemed to believe that this woman has been distraught and outraged by the deportation of her husband, who was an illegal immigrant who committed five murders at that school, and despite people saying that he should've acquire citizenship to come into the country legally, you claimed that those people were, 'racist', 'bigots' who have no idea what they were talking about, and therefore destroying their dreams of having freedom and democracy. Why do you think the deportation was unjustified, Jackson?''

''Well first of all, Bucky, I don't appreciate the fact you called him a illegal immigrant when in fact he's actually an undocumented immigrant, and secondly-''

''You do know he came here to this country ILLEGALLY, right?''

''W-Well- Yeah, maybe but-''

''So he IS an illegal immigrant, right, right?''

''L-Look, my point is, this undocumented immigrant, ok, he-he was-he was just trying to... uh, take care of his own wife, and his children to... you know, g-get his rights and freedom in the country! I mean think about it, Mexico has suffered from corruption, crime and murders and all that, and sure... he may have committed a tiny crime, but I believe that if he came into this country to have freedom and democracy, then he SHOULD have the right to stay into this country LEGALLY!''

''I see. Ok, sooooooo besides the fact that you're a leftist and that you have been criticized A LOT for your efforts to silence the opinions of the right, alt-right, democratic, republicans, etc. you seem to have this really poor reason to even justify this MURDERER who killed INNOCENT CHILDREN at that school and yet somehow you want him to stay in that country?''

''W-Well-Well here's the thing Bucky, here's the thing, when-when you have a family that's... torn apart by the unjust system that wanted to take him away from them, then... I think it would be just to let him stay into that country, and FIGHT this system, you know, stand up for himself and fight for his rights and freedom!''

''Ok, but can you answer my question, please?''

''I-I AM answering your question, yo-you're just no-''

''No no no no, I asked you a simple question about why he should stay in the country despite breaking the law, and you kno- here's a thought: If he WANTED to have freedom and democracy, then why can't he just acquire for citizenship so he can come here legally?''

''W-Well uh-''

''And furthermore, if his family was so sad that he has to be separated from them, ok, then why can't the family just, you know, go along with him, you know, just to be with him and be happy that they can still live with him despite his horrific crimes? You know, I don't want som-''

''Look look look look-''

''I-It's STILL a crime to just come here ILLEGALLY and MURDER some innocent people, so I believe he HAS to go back to his country, I mean he's an illegal immigrant, he shouldn't have-''

''F-F-First of all, first of all, he's STILL an undocumented immigrant, NOT illegal! And second, he-he has the right to taste the freedom and the justice here in the United Furries! A-''

''By coming here illegally and killing people? How the fuck does that-''

''WAIT WAIT, you're missing the point! Juan was having a tough time living in Mexico, that country was living in poverty, and there was a ton of crime and corruption!''

''I-I understand that, but-''

''NO and he-he has EVERY RIGHT to say that he should stay in the country full of democracy and freedom! I mean, I me- those people who are saying that he's an illegal immigrant are a bunch of racist jackasses who don't understa-''

''So they're RACIST because they called him ILLEGAL!? HAAAhahahahahahaha!''

''Looklooklooklooklooklook, I-I-I-I'm not denying that he committed a minor crime, I-I'm not saying he did nothing wrong, but-but his wife and children have gone through sadness, depression and torment because of the way they just took him away like that, and so they were rightfully mad and so she wanted to sue the corrupt system! I mean, this country has one of the most flawed-''

''I-I say that the police were just doing their job, if you ask me.''

''S-System in the world! The undocumented immigrants have to go back to the country that's full of corruption, crime and poverty? Beca-''

''Because they're ILLEGALS!!! That's why, because they came here ILLEGALLY!!!''

''Look look look, why don't you do me a favor, Bucky, why don't you do me a favor, how about yo-''

''Ok ok ok ok, look I don't have time for leftist... um-''

''Learn some damn history, and realize how much suffering and torment they have to go through and-''

''I just told you I understand their pain, but the thing is, they broke the laws by coming into the country without even acquiring for citizenship, despite having PLENTY OF TIME to do that, so there's no reason for them to just be lazy and-''

''That's the fucking problem! There's no way they can acquire for citizenship! The lines are too long, you have to wait for 5 fucking hours to-''

''But they can STILL acquire for...''

''-Don't want to wait forever just to get a green card, therefore, it's perfectly reasonable to come into the country in the first place, and be lazy about getting the green card! Do you see what I'm-''

''OK ok ok ok, so what you're saying is, those ILLEGAL immigrants are allowed to roam around the country and commit violent crimes after coming here illegally, right, because they wanted to have the freedom and democracy as we do? Sorry, but I don't buy that, I don't want some illegal immigrant wanting to go around and terrorize MY family and home and then just get away with it with no consequences, you're basically saying that THEY have the right to do whatever they want in this country because of freedom an-''

''No I-I'm not saying that, I'm not saying that! I'm just-''

''Well you implied it. You implied it.''

''Lo-Lo-Look! Just... Just- Why don't you leave him alone, and cut him some slack for once, he has suffered long enough and you have-''

''Ok ok, I have enough of this chat.''

''H-Have you no sympathy for him and his family?''

''Yes I DO have sympathy, but again, he should've acquire for citizenship and come here legally.''

''Y-You are- You just joined the millions of racist, anti-democratic furries out there who don't CARE about immigrants at all and therefore should be-''

''SECURITY!!! Get him out of here!'' As the two same security guards came to take him away, he started to struggle and fight against them, but they hold him down, and the camera cut out. ''Wow... unbelievable, so now that we got that issue out of the way, I will leave you with the weather foreca-'' Then the television turned off again.

Then it turned on again after some time later... ''Good afternoon everyone, welcome back to Squirrel News, I'm your host Bucky Harry, and we got some stories about Fatwas for you today. That's right, a video which recorded the session of a Saudi Arabian king named Mohammad Tadlis, who made a Fatwa saying that all furries and Muslims must kill Superhuman, Superman and Batman. After it was translated into English, there was a lot of outrage and controversy as the video has gone viral. When he heard about it, he decided to ask us to appear on television news to explain his position. This was an unexpected visit, but he is now joining us today!''

Then the camera revealed to be a male orange weasel, wearing a Thobe with a Ghutra and Egal on his head. (And I apologize to any Muslim viewers if I got the clothing types wrong.) He also appeared to be sitting on his chair as he stared at the camera. ''Alright, Mohammad Tadlis, thank you for joining us today, and good afternoon to you as well.''

''Baraka Allahu feeka, my brother squirrel,'' he said in his Arabic accent. ''So, Mohammad Tadlis, uuuh, there was a Fatwa that says that three superheroes, Superhuman, Superman and Batman, are ought to be killed on um... uh, on all conditions, is that correct, sir?''

''Yes my brother squirrel, that's correct.''

''Um, Mohammad, don't you think that's a little overreaction much? I mean, you basically state that ANY humans are to be killed in Islam, even when they're fictional!''

''W-Well uh, Bucky, I uh, I didn't really MEAN Superman, Batman, or Superhuman, I mean ANY human.''

''WOAH woah, what? Any human? Really?''

''Yes, because humans MUST be killed for Allah! We have to kill every humans for the sake of Mohammad and for Allah and.... Why are you laughing?'' Bucky was now seen laughing his butt off.

''H-How do I deal with such a person like you? Like, y-you-you are saying w-we hahahahahahahahaha, so now you have to kill Superhuman, and kill Superman and Batman. How do you guys even come up with a Fatwa like that? I mean-''

''B-B-Because Superman, Batman and Superhuman, they're ALL HUMANS and Western idols who try to deceive and lie to everyone about how they save lives and that Allah is just a non exist figure and-''

''Uuuh, I don't think Superman was a human, I think he was a Kryptonian alien, right?''

''Look look, the point is, they were idols in this world! And they need to be killed immediately! We will NOT allow humans to plague the worlds with their lies and deceptions! They have- Wh- stop laughing!''

''HAAAHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Man, you-you just said you have to kill EVERY human, even fictional ones and superheroes, you didn't make it any better! I mean, anyone wearing a Superman or a Batman costume will get killed now, because of your Fatwa. It just doesn't work like that!''

''Oh come on, my brother squirrel, Mohammad was plagued by humans as well, right?''

''Well Mohammad was a human, and even though there were other humans that cursed at him, spit at him and throw rocks at him, he didn't actually kill or do anything violent to them, so why exactly do you have to kill for Mohammad?'' Tadlis then tried to open his mouth, but closed it, and tried to come up with an argument, but nothing came out.

''... OH shut up! You know damn well that we Muslims are NOT terrorists!''

''Ok, but um... here's-here's another Fatwa that you issued: You said that if these 72 virgins, or if one of them, uh if their handbands falls, their handbands falls from the pa- uh, from paradise, from paradise yeah, the handband comes through all the planets, and lands on the Earth, like that?'' he said, as he slightly slammed the table, as Mohammad Tadlis nodded. ''Uh, if it falls like that, then the whole Earth would smell nice and fresh and beautiful like musk!''

''That's right, my brother squirrel, this was a beautiful gift from Allah and those 72 virgins, as they give their beautiful scent to the Earth and- .... What? Why are you laughing again?'' The squirrel laughed and shook his head in disbelief.

''... Come on, man, who are you fooling?'' He then got confused, as the squirrel continued, ''Who are you fooling? I mean, my wife's perfume smells a LOT nicer and fresh than anyone or anything that can from fall from- from space on to this Earth, I mean- I mean, come on, this is just ridiculous! It's ridiculous man!''

''NO no no no, it's not! It's not ri-''

''Yeah, if- if a headband falls from space into the Earth, then somehow the Earth can smell it's beautiful, fresh scent all around? Somehow?''

''Y-Yes yes yes yes! T-The headband from those virgins have uh... uuuuh powers given by Allah to make the world- or anything smell nice! I mean you can-''

''Come on man, the ROSES that my wife gave to me smells SO much nicer and-''

''OOOOOH NONONONONONO!!! Don't you say that, brother squirrel! NOOOOO!!! T-That was my other Fatwa! I-In my country, it is ILLEGAL to give roses! It is ILLEGAL!!!'' He suddenly said, making the squirrel dumbfounded.

''... Illegal to give roses?'' He then simply scoffed and giggled. ''W-What the Fatwa man? Uuuh wh- ho- why? Hahahahahaha whahahahahay?''

''THIS IS NOT A JOKE!!! ROSES ARE DANGEROUS!! THEY-Th-Th-THEY HAVE-THEY HAVE-''

''HAhahahahahahahahahaha! Seriously? Roses? Really? Even the roses I had? From my wife?''

''YES she just made you sexually hungry, because roses have a deceiving scent that will arouse the sexual desires of the people! It will make you a rapist- a crazy rapist with no guilt or shame! And this is NOT a joke! It's a serious Fatwa! STOP LAUGHING!!''

''HAAAhahahahahahahahahahaha! Ok ok ok ok ok ok, ok... *Clears throat* there- there's a new Fatwa, where uuuh... if you wear a hat, and uuuh... like a baseball hat, t-there was a uh Grand Mufti, who says that... it is illegal to say that the Earth rotates. D-Do you actually agree on that, Mohammad Tadlis?''

''Absolutely! Because when you have stupid satellite images and have stupid non-believers that say that the Earth wasn't flat or disk-like, then they are spreading Western conspiracy against our religion! They are conspiring against Islam! They are conspiring against Mohammad and- You're laughing about this too?'' The squirrel was laughing hard and loud again.

''Hahahahahahahaha! Oh my... Hahahahahaha.... Heh hahaaahaha... Wow... So... saying that the Earth rotates is illegal, roses is illegal, women driving is illegal, humans including Superhumans, Superman and Batman have to be killed. Headbands that fall from space into the Earth from virgins can make the world smell nice. Wow hahahahaha! You have funny Fatwas, man. I-I don't know how some Muslim or even Islamic leaders even came up with those Fatwas, I mean-''

''THAT'S IT!!! I had enough of your insolence and your lies! I NOW have a Fatwa against YOU!!! Since I don't like you or your lies, I NOW issue a Fatwa to have YOU killed! I will have my soldiers come to your country and attack you and-''

''Yeah yeah yeah, like hell you can! HAAAhahahahaha you don't even know where exactly I am right now!''

''Ooooooh yes I do! And when they get their hands on you, you will REGRET the day we ever speak abo-'' Then the camera cut out again, as the squirrel continued to laugh. ''Wow... wow... w-well, hahaha, that's it for today! I hope you all have a good time and a good laugh because- Hahahaha oh my god... how could some Muslims come up with those Fatwas? Like why? Whahahahahahay? Just wh-'' Suddenly he heard a door breaking down, as he checked to look for someone and he got shocked. ''Uuuuuh, how did they get in here?'' Then he heard some angry Arabic speaking coming from the door, and he stood on the table, and had a serious expression on his face. ''Well... it looks like he really DOES want to kill me, huh? Ha! Little did they know, I'm an expert at martial arts! WaiiiYAAAA!!! YATOOOOOU!!! Alright!''

Then there are more footsteps and angry Arabic speaking came, as he smiled and got into his fighting position. ''Well everyone, that's it for Squirrel News! I hope you ALL have a great day, and I'll see you next time! HEEEEYAAAA!!!'' He then jumped really quickly, and screamings, groans and pains, karate battle cries and shooting could be heard off screen as it lasted for 2 minutes, before the television got turned off. And that's it for my story! I hope you all enjoyed this satire I made, and I hope I didn't trigger a bunch of butthurt leftists, liberals illegal immigrants and Muslim extremists out there. Lol! But anyway, thank you all for reading and I'll see you guys next time! Once again, I'm shinnjacob, see you next time.