FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

There are some moments in life where time seems to slow, but never for long enough to change anything. There are other moments where you are sure you must be dreaming from the twisted and strange way everything looks and feels felt? These mixed into a strange state of consciousness as I raced towards my fear.

Shadow and Sanway were in the lead, footpaws pounding past the isle-end Helaina had passed moments before. Burt and Steve, following, strove to close the gap. Burt's head lowered, and his whip of a tail lashing behind him. I pushed my own footpaws faster at the rear of them, having taken the longest to extricate myself from my Frankenstein car.

Why? How? I shook my head, but nothing came clearer. Thoughts flashed into mind, but didn't stay to be acknowledged by my racing heart. What I did feel was a cold, shivering paw clench around my heart and the rasping of air in my throat.

Steve slowed long enough to grab a wrench, hanging at the end of the ordered aisle. Immitating him, I grabbed a wrench myself, the heavy metal hefty in my shivering paw. Shadow glanced back, where he competed with Sanway for the first glimpse of what lay ahead. He made himself slow until he came even with me, though he must be as frantic as the rest of us. All our breaths came heavy, as none had yet recovered fully from the last Curtain.

Burt cursed, putting in an extra burst of speed as his word meanings were lost in the growing outcry coming from Camp. No. There were... furs we cared about there!

Sanway and Burt were straining for extra inches from every step, until they got in sight of Camp. Both skidded to a frozen halt, as they took in the sight I was hoping not to see.

The zombie things were threading through the various tents, tables, and chairs of Camp, clustering towards the narrow restroom hallway. Screams and calls from fur throats came from those hidden away beyond the restroom area entry, where the furs struggled to hold the hungry undead off in the tight space. Isaac and Bradley were at the front, struggling to hold back Curtain-weakened creatures whose eyes glowed with an extra sharpness, seeing live furs before them. Roger, the collie father was there too, eyes sparking in protective fury, as he drove himself beyond reasonable limits to protect others. The space between the stumbling clusters of undead grew closer and denser as valuable seconds passed. Slow but continuous streams of them joined at the edges to strain towards the center where warm, living flesh struggled.

Steve cursed where he had stopped next to Sanway. "They won't be able to hold long!"

The big rabbit shoved aside a zombie which, in its thoughtless state, had gotten stuck on a chair. With a lagomorph squeal of fury, he jumped forward, the wrench in his clenched paw glistening in the scattered light from the skylights. Burt lurched ahead too, tightening his hooves into deadly weights, ready to pummel anything blocking him. The big bull followed his partner towards the growing, writhing mess ahead.

Shadow took a step forward, jaws clenched in a silent snarl. He looked ready to follow, but with a glance to me, where I stood frozen, he stilled. His eyes flicked between me and the growing chaos as he shifted footpaw-to-footpaw.

A few wayward zombies clustered in odd spots, and I tried not to consider why. I couldn't afford to let emotions set. The defending furs needed help.

Help? I clung to the wrench, growing weighty in my paw. My throat went dry as my heart raced. Could I even be of help against that mass? How would I last fighting at the fringes before I would perish? Would it be better to hide? I had not even been able to hold the things' attention when the new furs had dashed for the FurShopper. If only I'd known then-

Wait! The tune! I reigned in my skipping heart and squeezed my eyes shut, shivering. Secret be damned! It wasn't worth furs losing lives! I could make the zombies listen to the tune, get them to... do something else. Even if they hesitated in their steady onslaught, it would help, right?

Where could I go to whistle for my undead audience? I needed limited access, somewhere hard for zombies to reach. Behind the pharmacy counter? The supply closet? The roof! With a tiny bit of calm instilled into my resolve, I snatched Shadow's clenched paw and gave a heave on it. His footpaws stumbled on the smooth floor before he regained them to join me in running towards the unending stream of zombies from the middle of the store.

"What-!" Shadow managed. "Wait! My bat!"

"No time!" I yelled, driving us through a gap in the restroom-approaching zombies.

I smacked a dingo zombie on the muzzle with my shining wrench when it came too close. Something in the muzzle shifted and nasty fluids came out of the thing's nostrils. I kept running past it, feeling my arm swing to the side as Shadow dodged the dingo zombie's paw-swipe. Shredded growls came from behind us. We'd gained some followers.

"Tyler! What are you doing?!" His footpaws' steps faltered behind me.

"The hatch!" I rasped through my panting throat. "The tune!"

Shadow's silence, beyond his sucking breaths, I took as understanding. As we neared the swinging doors, leading to the back of the store, I heard muffled shouts and banging from a door in the wall, drawing a small cluster of undead. I slowed a step, realizing who it was. It was Michael, locked up in the supply closet and helpless to aide those he knew, but safe enough for now.

No distractions. I needed to get to the swinging doors to the rear loading bay. The same ones we had raced for with Ethan and Drew. Why was it taking so long?!

I bashed through the swinging doors, hearing them knock into frustrated zombies behind us as they snapped shut. Shadow was mixing growls and worried whines behind me. He wanted to help the others, but stayed with me, even though I'd had no time to explain what I was doing.

Um... what was I doing? I had to get to the roof. Then-

I let go of Shadow's paw to race up the narrow stairs. Damn, they were difficult when you were already tired! I shoved the wrench into my shorts rear, next to my tail, and clambered up the first few rungs of the ladder before glancing back.

The zombies were struggling with the start of the stairs. It slowed them down, but would not continue to do so for long. Shadow had paused with me, standing and panting at the base of the ladder. My Wulf hung his head and coughed, his breath heavy against the nearest rung. I grabbed the next rung and heaved myself up another step as the zombies shrieked in approach.

I swung the hatch open, scrambling to get through. Outside, the afternoon was beautiful, with a partly-cloudy sky, blinding me to anything beneath the horizon. Not waiting for Shadow, I rushed out in a direction I hoped would take me to a skylight. My eyes did adjust, right before I passed one. In the bright reflection from the sun, I couldn't see anything through the domed thing. Hints of movement came from below the sun-scorched plastic, and dimmed sounds disturbed the sunny day.

My breath heaving, I crouched next to the skylight and reached behind me, into my shorts. My shaking paws fumbled out the bloodied wrench from my pocket. It dropped to the rooftop membrane. Wanting to shriek in frustration, I snatched it back up, just as Shadow came running up.

"Hatch is closed." The black wolf gulped, "I don't know if it'll hold long."

With an absent nod, I swung the wrench down on the plastic bulge. It sat in its rectangular setting, but the rounded top cracked under the impact. My paw smarted with vibration from the impact.

I was panting so hard, I nearly dropped the wrench. Shadow, crouched next to me, took the wrench from my shaking paw, and smashed it again to the rounded plastic shape. A small hole appeared, larger again as the wrench came down a third time. Shadow grabbed an edge of the brittle stuff and pulled, breaking the hole wider.

There was another, flat inner layer of plastic. I wanted to scream! What was this, some sort of joke of the universe?! Bad enough to send the Curtain our way in the first place, but to stymie my every move to help friends? Unforgivable.

Shadow hesitated, but recovered and swung down again on the inner layer of plastic. His gritted teeth and the renewed strength against the plastic hinted at feelings similar to mine. The inner layer shattered inwards, leaving a hole into the store interior.

Through the new gap, we could see a side angle of Camp. The press of zombies thickened as the ones in back pushed forward, sometimes sending one of their own lurching into the guarding furs. The initial fur screams had quieted, and I knew they were trying to keep the noise from exciting the nasty things even more.

"Now what?" Shadow asked, trying to regain his breath where he knelt next to me. He threw down the wrench to the white rooftop with a savage growl. "We can't just watch this happen and stay up here, Tyler!" He brought his paws up and pawed at his face.

"The tune..." I mumbled, sparing him a glance and steadying my breath. Closing my eyes, I hunted for the thread of annoying tune in my head. I could hear Shadow groan and shift next to me.

"It's not enough, Tyler. By all that's furry, we can't just let this happen!"

"Wait... wait..." I mumbled. Where was it?! I couldn't hear it. Why now, when I actually needed to hear that stupid, stupid tune in my head, was it gone?!

It was hard to concentrate, knowing friends and - family? - were down below, struggling for their lives. Calm breaths, Tyler. Calm breaths. Shadow again shifted next to me. I understood. I wanted to do something too. Bashing a few zombie heads in ourselves before they ate us would be hardly successful.

Some song was bugging me. Something Eric had been fond of blasting? No, that wasn't the tune. Wait... it was! I latched my focus on the annoying, constant tune and held onto it. Why did it seem so faint? Furs' lives depended on this!

When I opened my eyes, I had a firm awareness of it. As if sensing my willingness to listen, it grew to fill my mind, and I leaned forward, muzzle slipping just inside the skylight breach. My pursed lips let a long whistle out, rising and falling. I followed the tune, trying to look down into the FurShopper for zombie reaction. Nothing. I couldn't see anything, but it was clear I wasn't getting their attention down below.

Dammit. It was too loud down there. Shrieking zombies and occasional sounds from the furs easily drowned out my whistle. No zombie turned focus aside.

Doubt rose in a cold paw around my heart. Would this even work? All the other times I'd gotten zombie attention, they hadn't been focused or attacking. I had to try something though. Furs would die otherwise. From occasional screams within, I feared they already were.

I grit my teeth and glanced at Shadow. His gaze was pinned to the far-off roof hatch, and he was shifting footpaw to footpaw as instinct urged him to do something. I shuddered. Do something, Tyler! Anything!

I opened my muzzle and refocused to the tune. I yelled as loud as I could without losing tone, cupping my paws to direct the sound into the darkness below. "La-la-laaa-la-la-la!"

It had been years since I'd sung for anyone but Mom and Kaylee. Was I holding the tone? Was I too flat? My voice wasn't that good. Please be enough.

As I continued, I tried to listen to any change below. Seconds passed before I realized there was a lull in the noise below. I imagined zombie heads turning and focusing on a new, hopefully more interesting, feature in their undead lives. Please let it be true. Was it enough to turn them aside from fresh meat, away from furs' scent? I kept my voice going, trying to avoid any more doubts, centering my focus on the tune in my head.

Some zombie below screeched out a ravaged throat. Another shriek took up the call, followed by a bellow from a much larger zombie. A new sound came, along with rising zombie screams. There was thudding, rapid pats, and clipped clatters. Footpaws and hooves coming! Things clattered down in the store, possibly store items disturbed and falling to the floor.

I shuddered in relief, losing my singing for a whole second. The undead below didn't care. They were on the hunt for a new target: me. I continued my wordless la-la's, glancing to the side as Shadow lurched away from me towards the hatch, grabbing the wrench where it had fallen. The hatch which must be breaking open and letting... creatures out.

Dreading heartbeats raced in my chest, and my black paws shook as I lowered them to the skylight rim, supporting my weight. I couldn't hear anything beyond the rabid shrieks and howls below. What I could see was too narrow for more than hints of movement.

What would the furs do? Sneak out of the FurShopper, leaving Shadow and I to our fates as they searched for a new haven? Would they try to fight only to find the 'distracted' things weren't so distracted? Would they slowly die, my efforts to save them as useful as a puff in the wind?

My singing rhythm stumbled. Focus, Tyler. If you can't do anything, do what you can. My dad had told me that, long, long ago, before things had gone sour between us.

This was what I could do, voice the stupid tune for all to hear, put the hints within my mind into a real stream of song. Whatever it was, and wherever it came from, the crazed undead loved it, more than they loved fur flesh I hoped.

The light shining off the plastic bulge bothered me. Squeezing my eyes shut helped, but I could still feel a bit of heat coming off the remaining plastic. The shattered plastic edges kept scraping against my muzzle. This was what I could do. If it could only be enough.

Time ticked in slivers of seconds. Awareness of little things focused: the rough texture of the roof membrane on my knees, the heat of the metal rim under my paws, the indistinct sounds from the direction of the hatch, the air drying out my tongue as my muzzle hung open to lend voice to what had never been heard.

Time passed. More time passed. How long had I been doing this? Were the sounds in the direction of the hatch less frequent? Had they stopped? The shrieks and zombie screams below seemed just as loud. My voice... my voice was hoarse and my throat dry, giving unending sound from an unending tune.

Were furs dying? Were they all dead? Was it making a difference? No one was screaming at me to stop, though I might not have been able to hear over the ruckus. Sometimes the zombie sounds would seem closer, seeming to be right under my nose. Had to be my imagination, right? Or when I thought I smelled a zombie close. That was impossible... wasn't it? Wasn't the roof pretty far from the FurShopper floor?

Smells. The smells of dead furs. Smells of dead furs back in Furnon. They had smelled the same too. Rotting blood, spoiled flesh. The tang of gut fluids....

Time passed, measured in undead screams and my beating heart. I couldn't keep this up. I couldn't even make much sound any more. I cleared my scratchy throat and rasped a few sounds. Was I still saying la-la's or something else? I couldn't even tell anymore.

Felt so distant, numb but achy. My arms ached, my back too. Dizzy. Thirsty. Hot. Tired.

What was it about this stupid tune anyway? Some connection to the Curtain, but why? Since the tune never ended, did that mean zombies had no ending goal?

I switched to whistling. My voice couldn't take it any more. I blinked up as I tried to shift my pained back, and the plastic scratched at my muzzle more. The sun seemed lower in the sky. Tireless zombies made a racket below. How could they still be going?!

I kept whistling. Whistling. Awareness faded. Drifting. Whistling. Was the Curtain coming? Whistling.

I startled as a paw settled to my shoulder. The tune from my lips startled to silence. I blinked, swinging my head to the side, almost falling onto the broken skylight. I blinked, trying to focus on... someone.

"It's enough, Tyler. It's over," said a vague figure.

I shuddered as Shadow gathered me in his warm, black arms. I couldn't understand. Why did the tune need to stop? I tried to start whistling again, for some reason I had to. My lips wouldn't pucker back together. It had not been enough, had it? It was over. They had all died, hadn't they? A sob escaped me, knowing I had failed. I couldn't go on. I was weak, a burden.

"You did good, pup."

My muzzle raised at the sound of a deep voice. I blinked twice before I recognized Burt.

"Burt?" I thought I'd spoken, but no sound other than a rasp had come out. I managed a faint smile before the world seemed to fade away.

Furs were speaking, but I couldn't understand anything. I was too tired to care what they were saying. I understood scattered words, but not enough to make sense. Too damn tired. Too tired to even yawn. If anyone claims you can't wear yourself out from yelling forever, don't believe them.

I half-walked somewhere, my nose trying to touch my toes. Hmmm, that rhymed. My eyes drooped, but I recognized the hatch. Too tired to climb. Really, Shadow, I was too tired. Just let me sleep here. It was warm enough.

It felt like I blinked. I was in the tent, Shadow lying next to me, holding me close. Was it safe there? I couldn't remember why it wouldn't be safe. Anywhere with Shadow was safe.

What had happened? Zombies? Mom? Why couldn't I remember?

***

I hurt. My back ached, my throat hurt, my neck hurt, my muzzle stung. I tried to groan, to express my discomfort, but something was wrong. A weak sound was all that had come out. It smelled bad too.

My mind was slow to put things back together. A radio signal, and... the undead! The zombie-things were attacking. I sat bolt upright, dislodging something on my chest. Oops, make that a 'someone'.

"Tyler?" Shadow mumbled from my lap, rubbing his eyes in the dim light of the tent, too dim to see any green tint.

I swung my muzzle side-to-side, searching. Where were the nasty undead things?! Why wasn't Shadow feeling the same urgency as I was? Memories circled and came clearer. I wasn't sure what had happened at the end, but... had it been a dream?

"What happened?" I tried to ask, but not much came out, and my muzzle above my lips singed with pain at the movement. I cleared my throat.

"Ah, try not to clear your throat, Tyler. And try not to talk or cough. Rusty said your voice needs to heal. You won't be talking much the next few days." He reached up to stroke my cheek from where he lay.

I grimaced. How was I supposed to ask what had happened? I tilted my head at him, unsure what else to do.

Shadow sat up and reached behind me. "Drink some of this first."

Shadow passed me an insulated mug. I took it and sipped from the sealed container. It was honeyed tea, warm and soothing to my pained throat.

"Just sips, okay?"

I nodded, sipping. With a touch to my muzzle, I discovered tracings of scabs. Looked like the plastic had cut into me after hours of getting scraped.

"Do you know what happened?" Shadow asked, taking my paw in one of his and rubbing it in the dim light with his other.

I shook my head. It seemed to be nighttime, and we were in the tent. Was this back in Camp, or had we somehow moved elsewhere? I reached to the side and felt the tent floor. It was hard and smooth beneath, so we were still in the FurShopper. No, we must be somewhere else; it smelled terrible here.

Shadow sighed and sat up, sitting where a knee would touch mine. When he spoke, his voice was low. "We climbed to the roof, and you sang down the hole in the skylight. Shouted it at first."

I nodded, remembering. Everything after seemed confusing. Shadow seemed to be fighting some kind of upset. But his paws, trembling over mine, held mine tight to acknowledge he was there.

"It was the turning point of what was going on down here, in Camp. They were going to keep fighting, but the zombies were endless, with more coming every minute." Shadow paused to take a long inhaled breath.

Unending waves of zombies. Unstoppable, unrelenting. Dead. A shiver crawled up my spine.

"Your singing changed that," Shadow said, stroking my paw. "Those things turned from furs, right in front of them, and pursued you. It gave the FurShopper furs a chance to hit back."

I stared at Shadow as he spoke in the dim light. The wolf's eyes flicked, recalling events. Shadow smelled of blood, and I realized he had some new scratches, all scabbed up.

"I was at the roof hatch," Shadow continued. "Those zombies which had followed us up the stairs were there. They were the only ones who knew how to get to you. Lucky for us, they can't communicate with each other, huh?" Shadow gave a humorless chuckle through gritted teeth.

I raised a paw and rested it on his shoulder. Was he okay? He looked upset.

"Um," Shadow leaned into my paw, relaxing. "The furs killed them little by little at the edges of the mess beneath the skylight. It took... a long time. Hours. No one understood why the creatures didn't turn focus on them when furs were right there, killing them all. They said there was this haunting song, coming from the roof."

I nodded. That had been me. Haunting song, though? That was a laugh. It was damn annoying.

"They're dead. All the zombies within any kind of hearing range of the FurShopper parking lot are dead. I don't know how many bodies...." Shadow shook his head. "I wish I could say we all survived too, Tyler." Shadow drooped, his ear tips lower than his eyes. "I really wish we had come out of this on top."

I blinked. What did he mean? No. I couldn't help a shudder and the gathering tears. A paw went straight to my muzzle as my body couldn't decide between nausea and upset. I gulped.

"Who," I mouthed, gripping Shadow's paw. He wasn't looking, though.

Shadow shook his head. "You need your sleep. Things won't change if I tell you now. You'll only get upset and be unable to sleep."

Well, now I was going to be kept up, wondering who hadn't....

"Who?!" I rasped out.

Shadow shushed me. "Don't talk. Tomorrow is soon enough, Tyler."

I shook my head, unable to help a rasping whimper. All the friends, acquaintances, enemies, ...family. Were they all dead? Was anyone alive? Maybe I didn't like some of them, but I didn't want them to die.

I shuddered, tears beginning to stream down my muzzle, sobs building within. It hadn't been enough. Like other times, though I had tried, it hadn't been enough. Some other fur would have done better. Some other fur would have found a way to save everyone. I had always been inadequate.

"Oh, Tyler," Shadow sniffed, pulling me to his chest as I shivered in fear and loss.

I didn't even know who was lost yet. But some had been lost, and they were worthy of tears. Someone had loved them. Someone had cared for them. Warm life had been snuffed out, had gone cold. Individuality had become extinct, a unique person lost.

"You couldn't have saved everyone, Tyler. I know you wanted to." Shadow stroked the back of my head, and I felt his own suppressed upset in the little shudders he made. He pulled my head to his chest as he lay us down.

I nodded where I lay encircled by a wolfy arm, rubbing tears into his black chest, a bottomless black in the dim light of Camp. Each fur deserved a chance. Each fur represented a bit of their species which would now be a painful loss. How could there be many furs left in the world?

I wanted to know who was left. Wait, I didn't want to know who had died. I didn't want to know if I could have saved them or not. What if we hadn't been listening at my car radio when the incident had started? Would it have changed anything?

We were nude in our tent, a normalcy which belied anything outside the green walls. His heat slipped into me, trying to warm the coldness I felt deep inside. I clutched onto Shadow's black fur, wishing I could sink into the empty blackness and never have to know, never have to face our reality.

>>>>[[NOTE: DAY 15]]<<<<

Worry. Someone had died. I had to know if it was my fault. Had to. I pulled myself up from the depths, putting together my need. Sleep had pulled at me for hours, dragging me down again and again as I kept surfacing to wakefulness. It was dark outside the tent, but I had to know. I couldn't go all night like this. It was torture, painful.

"Shadow," I rasped, pulling myself to more awareness.

It was some time before dawn. How long would it be dark for? How long would my world be a dark torture of half-sleep and anxious worry? I couldn't wait until morning.

I shifted. Shifted again. Wakefulness was coming in my need to know. I wanted to sleep, so I wouldn't worry anymore. Why couldn't I figure out what I wanted? I sniffled, a tear coming out.

I had tried. I had tried my damned hardest. Furs had died anyway. Had I done anything of use? I had to know who we'd lost. Was it someone close? Was it someone I despised? More than one? More than five? What if Shadow and I were the only ones who'd survived, safe on the roof as the rest were slaughtered.

My breath sobbed, and I clutched onto Shadow, who shifted in his sleep. When I shuddered, my head lying on his chest, the wolf moaned above me.

"Tyler?" came the groggy mumble.

"Who?" I whimpered in a raspy whisper.

Blackness shifted beneath me. "Tyler? Um, go to sleep. We'll talk about it in the morning."

"Now," I demanded in a rasp, adding in a torn hint of a growl. "Please."

A paw raised in the darkness to rub at sleepy, wolfy eyes, then drop to my head. "Just... some died and some lived. It won't change anything to know now. You're too exhausted."

"I'm fine now," I insisted, though my voice cracked. I coughed; it hurt.

"Later," Shadow breathed. "Go back to sleep."

I scrunched up my lips, frustrated at him. He was slipping back towards sleep already. I didn't like it. It felt like he was hiding something from me.

"Tell me," my growly voice broke as I spoke.

Shadow didn't respond. Was he hoping I'd give up? Well, I was too awake and distracted to sleep. I huffed air out my nose and leaned my muzzle in, taking a frustrated nip of his cheek.

Shadow startled a little. "What?" he muttered.

I nipped at his neck a few times, pulling at fur.

"Tyler. What are you doing?" came the sleepy but annoyed voice.

Well, at least I wasn't the only one awake now. Eyebrows furrowed, I nipped at his lips next, finishing with a hard pull at his bottom lip near the end of his muzzle.

"Dammit, Tyler," Shadow growled, definitely awake. "I just wanted you to get some sleep. You'll find out soon enough anyway."

"I can't take it, Wulf," I sobbed a rasp into his chest. "It's like I killed them myself. I'm too weak. They shouldn't have trusted me. I only tear loved ones apart."

The black wolf sighed beneath me, stroking a paw down my nape to my back. "Tyler. It's not like you're cursed or anything. Is this about your parents too?"

I shrugged. All I knew was my mind was in turmoil.

"You're a mess, Tyler, and it's only going to get worse when I tell you who died."

"I still need to know," I whispered near his ear, my voice catching.

"All right," Shadow didn't sound happy about it. "Eat something first," he passed me something in a wrapper, "Burt dropped some food for you earlier."

"Burt?" I whispered, a painful hope sweeping me up. My eyes glued to him across the small space between us where we lay. I ate through the food bar in a few quick bites. "Not everyone died?"

"Tyler, is that what you think?" At my shrug, he wrapped a black arm over my side before he continued, "Tyler. We were able to secure the FurShopper because of you. We were able to smash the heads open on... who knows how many of those things. Hundreds."

I stilled, even as his paw made a slow circle on my back. I did that?

Shadow continued. "You gave them such a distraction, a child could have killed them off one by one. They wouldn't turn away at all."

I shrugged. I had not even known if it would work. They seemed to love it before?

A paw gripped my shoulder. "Tyler. You saved us. Some died, but when you started singing, no one died after." He squeezed me tight. "And you didn't stop even when you were collapsing from exhaustion."

"I didn't know what else I could do," I rasped, gripping my paws into his black fur. I couldn't have been much help with a weapon. I'd known he could, but neither of us would have lasted long in that mess.

"Tyler. You need to understand something. We all would be dead if you hadn't done what you could."

I shrugged again, and knew he could feel it. I had done... something. I'd had to. "I couldn't just hide," I whispered.

"Shhh. Save your voice Tyler. Rusty didn't know much about damaged voices, but you have to be as quiet as possible, okay?"

I mushed my lips together, holding back tears. My paws clutched the fur of his nude back harder. I still had to know.

Shadow sighed. "I'll tell you, but I want you to be quiet. Focus on those of us alive, okay? You did that."

I managed a nod even as my eyes gathered tears. Fearing to listen, but afraid to miss anything, I braced myself for what Shadow had to say.