Disconection
#2 of Poetry
This is a free-verse poem that I still really like. Again more of a personal poem and probably not related enough to furry, but what can you do?
I tend to feel like myself, most
Times I wake up and I can't tell
That anything is different. Truth
Be told there isn't a difference at all.
I want to think that He is other than me
But, deep down I know we are tied
Together. I pull away and slingshot
Like a rubber band right back into old habits.
Days go by and I wonder when the elasticity
Will give out
It's going to happen, just as it has before.
I go out and find a better band to bear
The bruises that belie my better sense of being.
And it's always a surprise!
It never should be; I can feel Him well before his
Arrival. He comes to sever the ties I make
To keep Him at bay. He should know better.
When I was young, He would come and I would bat
Him away like a playful kitten. Calling Him nonsensical
And irrational, I held all the cards and He could barely
Play. Now that age has worn on my ego and esteem
He rises like a fanciful dream, whispering horrid thoughts
Into my head. Through all the years He learned to gamble,
Which gambits were the best to ply at my mind. Cracking
My resolve until there is but a mass of unrecognizable energy.
He has a name, but I won't say it here
Names hold great power you see, and it is my humble
Opinion that he holds too much already.
I usually win the fights he starts but there are parts
That scare me. And yet I push on and on and off
Though many still would scoff, at the nature of it all.
I build walls of emotions and fences of fortitude
Whilst I stack the bricks of my empathy and shout
"I will not be like Him!"
And he comes like he always does, rending my hard
Work asunder in a blaze of thunder that rivals Zeus himself.
But in between the cracks in the concrete and the chips in the walls,
Is a structure left standing in defiance
For I will not give compliance
To Him.