High School of Cliches: Meet the Parents

Story by Domus Vocis on SoFurry

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#6 of High School of Cliches series

eagerly waves Hello! Surprised to see this? Well, I thought I'd post this as a final story of 2017 and end it on a high note for the new year.

So in case you haven't been following "High School of Cliches", Hunter Thurman is a bisexual German shepherd jock whose relationship with Holden Brewin, a gay teenage fox his age, is put to the test as they live and attend school in their small Wisconsin town. Bullies, disgruntled teammates, yaoi fangirls, homophobic neighbors and even a popular she-wolf all yandere for Hunter (poor kid). Now, our main couple must face one of the greatest challenges yet: meeting Hunter's parents for dinner. gasp If you have been following so far, I hope you're excited as much as I am (though probably not as /excited/ as Hunter and Holden are in the first several paragraphs ;P

As always, "High School of Cliches" is a parody of typical gay romances you find in the furry fandom, as well as outside it, while having fun with being one. Any and all satire is for entertainment and shouldn't be taken seriously...most of the time. There will be references to figures inside the furry fandom, outside of it, and I hope you enjoy catching as many as you can! :3

Feel free to leave comments, reviews or thoughts down below! :)


"Oh, oh Holden~!"

Inside the football field's back shed, Hunter stifled a moan as his aching dick leaked like a fire hydrant. As the lithe fox licked and nibbled on the tip, the German shepherd struggled not to shove it all the way down his throat. Meanwhile, his eyes were glued between the blocked door and Holden's tender lips on his bare length.

"Nnnggghhh," the shepherd's cock twitched and burned with each thrust inside the fox's maw. He drooled and panted as his tail wagged at the wall and his bare ass. "Ahhhhh! Mfh, Holden don't stop."

"Mmmmfh," he mumbled back while tonguing under and over the heated rod, his bare paws patting his partner's firm, furry thighs. Holden's lips drooled with each lick and kiss onto the aching cock, causing the fox's own length to drip.

"Oh yes!" Hunter moaned aloud like a horndog, biting his lower lip.

Ever since their little tryst earlier that week in Hunter's car, both canines found whatever times they could to exchange blowjobs. As much as the German shepherd wanted to blow his foxy boyfriend, Holden insisted he preferred to service_than be _serviced. Hunter didn't complain though, especially considering how great the fox performed, from his tongue wetting underneath his hot dick to the way Holden's nimble fingers brushed the underside of his balls.

They had plans for the night, but with football practice canceled--due to Coach Sampson catching stomach flu and Greenville's lack of substitute coaches--Hunter and Holden snuck themselves into the football shed to 'relieve stress'. And by relieve stress, you mean having the red fox on his knees sucking the German shepherd's dick like furries on free commissions.

Hunter meanwhile had his back to the wall and his pants around his knees. His cock was leaking faster and building further up, and the German shepherd felt like his length was turning into a German bratwurst.

Suddenly, sharp fangs met tender flesh. "Nahgh!" Hunter hissed. "That hurts!"

"Sorry, sweetie," Holden whispered, kissing the tender part of him accidentally bitten, "I'm still learning."

"With what?" Hunter asked, chuckling at the knowledge the fox kept a dildo in his room after the whole Banana Incident. "Am I not good enough for you, foxyahhhh!"

As a blunt reply, Holden playfully wrapped his lips around the whole girth and squeezed one of Hunter's bare cheeks, making the jock's cock swell and the jock himself moan through the walls. Hunter's heated balls throbbed as the fox caressed them, his tongue teasing his leaking tip even more. He was sure his spent boyfriend could feel his heartbeat through the skin too.

"Mfh! Ha...Ah! That-that's it, sweetie!" the German shepherd's legs buckled, "H-Holden, I'm...ahh...g-gonna...ahhhh~! I'm...I'm cumming!"

Streams of hot essence erupted from his wet rod, coating Holden's throat as he suckled further on his boyfriend's bulged length. Last thing they needed was proof of their rendezvous, so the lithe fox licked up every drop from the German shepherd's soon-calming, glistening shaft.

"Mmmm," Holden licked his lips as he stood. "Satisfied?" Hunter replied by bobbing his hung head up and down with heavy breaths, then reached for the fox's crotch. "Ah, ah, as much as I wanna let you stroke me, a) we don't have much time, and b) it'll make a bigger mess someone'll find."

"But you're still hard," Hunter pointed out, his tail wagging between his chistled rear and the wall behind him. "I don't wanna bring you to dinner with blue balls, Holden."

Smirking, the fox flicked his tail at the lustful shepherd. "I'll manage.

"If..." Hunter panted with slight concern, "...you insist."

"And by the way, you're breathing like you had the best orgasm of your life," Holden laughed, "so I'll be the one driving."

Hunter rolled his eyes and groaned. "Fine, if you say so..." he grumbled as he zipped his jeans back up and tucked his cock away. "You know, with how much the school knows about our relationship, I'm surprised we're not being caught by this."

"By afterschool teachers?" Holden asked. "Classmates unfortunate to hear me making you spill your load, sweetie?" He playfully gasped. "Or maybe the FCC?" Both spit to the ground. "Who then, big boy?" He then slyly grinned before patting the jock's tight, jean-covered rump.

Hunter yipped and blushed at the fox's action, but shook his muzzle.

"Nah," he replied. "The yaoi fangirls." That got both of them to shiver, but Hunter comforted Holden by caressing his right wrist. "There, there sweetie. Those foppish fujoshis can't hurt you. All we gotta worry about is my cousin taking pics of us for the girls at his school."

Holden couldn't prevent himself from smiling, and kissed the back of Hunter's turned neck. "Tell me, narrator," he asked, grabbing their backpacks nearby, "why exactly did I give Hunter head in the 3rd least sexy location and 4th most risky spot for a blowjob? Did you want us to get caught?"

Hehehe. I'm actually hoping this would get the attention of potential readers.

Hunter growled. "Pervert."

Said the guy who got a blowjob in a high school football supply shed?

"Pervert!" he growled still.

~*~*~*~*~

They stopped by Holden's duplex so the fox could freshen up in the shower. As Hunter waited for Holden to finish getting into fresh clothes (as well as ogle him as he--literally--came from the shower), the shepherd jock wondered about tonight. Tonight at 5:00, they'd be having dinner with his parents, at his mom's workplace no less.

I hope they like Holden, the shepherd jock thought like a dumb idiot. Hey, how am I a dumb idiot You're the one writing my dialogue! Of course, they'll like him! Don't you remember what they said in the last installment? You mean the same one where my folks admitted they knew my bisexuality by reading the story tags? Hunter suddenly perked his ears in alarm. Speaking of which...what me and Holden did...can everyone read what kind of sex acts me and Holden do, pervert?

As HILARIOUS as that would be, no.

"Hunter?"

Said canine turned to see Holden wearing a black t-shirt with an all-American flag, along with regular blue jeans that contrasted his red leg fur. The fox's tail rustled with lively anticipated movements as he twirled for show. "What do you think? Am I dashingly handsome for tonight?"

"Well," Hunter grinned while craning his neck around to see his firm rump, "your pants certainly fit nicely."

"Hey," Holden chortled and flicked his tail at the taller canine, "My eyes are up here, smartass!" Smirking, Hunter playfully patted the fox's perked rear.

"But this here's my property in the future," he laughed, only to fall silent as Holden tapped his footpaw unamused. "Hehe...I'm gonna pay for that later aren't I?"

"Yep," Holden nodded back, and chuckled as he grabbed the shepherd's larger paw. "We better get going. You said it takes twenty minutes to get to Samson's from this side of town, right?"

"Fifteen actually," Hunter corrected as they went downstairs, "if we take the main road to Lime Kiln Avenue."

"Have fun, sweetie!" the fox's mother called from the living room they passed. "Tell your mom I said 'hi', Hunter. I haven't talked to her in ages."

"I will, Mrs. Brewin!" he replied back.

"Thanks, Mom!" Holden chirped and acknowledged his indifferent little sister texting on the couch as she and her mom watched the newest soon-to-be-canceled show on FOX. "See you later, Mary!"

"Whatever..." she murmured.

Hunter couldn't resist smirking, wondering now what'd it be like to have a little sibling. He then helped put on his and Holden's coats before walking outside.

It was already dark outside thanks to the November weather, turning Greenville, Wisconsin into a colder realm compared to down south. The streets still had their lights on, but it was clear everyone preferred staying inside, like burly bears wanting away from the cold.

"Purple prose much?" Hunter joked as he drove. You certainly aren't complaining whenever it involves sex, right? "...shut up." Ha!

Samson's Bar and Grill didn't always use to have the 'Grill' part in it. A couple decades ago, it used to be a regular, seedy bar frequented by Greenville's seedier residents. As the town expanded and more families arrived though, owners changed, and it became a family-friendly restaurant on one side of the two-story building.

After parking outside in front of the pawn shop neighboring Samson's, Hunter could see his parents' car resting a couple parked cars down. Looked like Samson's was booked tonight, surprising for a Thursday, but then the German shepherd's attention went to seeing Holden's ears perk.

"I remember this place," he mentioned as they walked towards the entrance. "My folks used to bring me and my sis here a bit when we were kids." The taller canine held the door open as they walked in, and the fox immediately grimaced at the pungent smell emanating directly from the smoke-filled bar to the left. "Ack! Well...that hasn't changed. God, where are we, north Green Bay?"

Hey, that's a little too close to home, fox!

"'Samson's Bar & Grill'," Hunter joked, "if the second-hand smoke won't kill you, our diabetic food will'." Both canines laughed and fist-bumped.

The Grill side's layout was what you'd expect. Eighties country music in the background, greasy floor littered with dropped French fries, tables oddly strewn around, and seated booths along the walls knick-knacked with all-American décor. And in a corner booth along the back, sitting right beneath a shelf collection of vintage soda pop cans, were two familiar muzzles.

"Over here, Hunter!" Mom called.

Immediately both could hear music on the speakers. "Come on in, boy, sit on down, And tell me about yourself. So you like my own son, do you now? Yeah, we think he's something else..."

Hunter nervously nodded to his mother and father, gripping his boyfriend's paw as they sat down. Meanwhile, Holden's ever-present grin never faded, especially from the butter-entrenched smells coming from the neighboring kitchen doors.

The Mrs. shook the fox's paw, eagerly replying, "You must be Holden. I'm Karen. It's great to finally meet you."

"Same here," Holden chuckled. Hunter's father was beside her nose-deep into the dinner menu while the fox beamed his trademark smile. "And you must be Mr. Thurman."

"Greg?" Mom gently elbowed him.

On cue, the elder canine glanced up and hastily put the menu down. "Oh uh, sorry there!" Dad beamed back and leaned forward from his seat. "Good to meet you, Holden."

Both shook paws and sat back down into awkward silence.

"Um..." Hunter's father tried breaking it, "So you're dating my son then?" Holden meekly nodded. "Okay. Cool. I hope school's been good for you?"

"It has," Holden eye-smiled

Suddenly, a short female rabbit in a tan-and-black waitress' uniform popped beside their table. "Hello! My name's Stacey and..." she momentarily paused and stared at Hunter and Holden to her right, and heavily blushed. When the shepherd's eyes met hers, she immediately resumed, "...and I'll be your w-waiter for the evening."

As everyone placed their orders, Hunter couldn't help but find Stacey somewhat familiar. Based on her age, she had to be sixteen and obviously a student at Greenville High. However, he couldn't put an identity to the blushing, anxious rabbit.

"And I guess..." Holden sighed. "God, it's been years since I've been here...um, how does the 'Double-Bacon Cheesy Burger sound?"

"Mmmhmmm," she mumbled, scribbling it down. "Pronto!"

"Uh, Holden?" Hunter murmured to him with perked ears and concern. "You sure you wanna eat something like that?"

His mother nodded. "Yeah, I mean Greg's eaten it once in the past, and look at him now."

To which Mr. Thurman frowned. "Hey, honey..." he whimpered. "I'm still healthy."

The fox meekly waved a paw. "Eh, might as well get something interesting right?"

Shrugging, Hunter gave his order as well and Stacey smiled. "I'll be right back with your drinks then!" she chirped, beaming to the fox and German shepherd. "By the way, you two look absolutely adorable together!"

Hunter suddenly tensed with recognition. "Y-Y-You're..." he stammered. The rabbit disappeared towards the other end of the restaurant, so the shepherd jock decided to hastily tell Holden, "She's one of the yaoi fangirls that's been chasing us!"

"'Yaoi' what?" Hunter's father asked, clearly confused for a forty-something engineer in the Midwest (who probably doesn't even know what 'NSFW' stands for). "Hey, I have Google like everyone else right, and isn't NSFW what this installment is?"

...well played.

"I'm sorry, but...what's wrong with that girl?" Mom asked, chuckling.

"Oh, uh..." Holden coughed. "It's uh, nothing. Ever since me and Hunter were outed to the school, there's been a horny, male-on-male-obsessed mob of girls that wanna see us in romantic and/or sexual situations, chasing us all 'round the school."

Mom and Dad blinked, with the male canine furrowing a confused brow. "Oh. Okay," he replied, then poorly half-joked, "Well, it can't be as um, awkward as all the phone calls we ah, have been getting."

Hunter's eyes widened, but he couldn't help but laugh. "Let me guess: the neighbors have been calling you on your phones, asking if the rumors of your son 'being a fag' are true?"

"Sadly yes..." he replied with fallen ears. "People talk."

"And in the marketplace, son," Mom butted in with rolling eyes. "In fact, I've gotten even more phone calls from Mrs. Burgess than usual ever since Sunday. Seriously, it looks like she was spamming me with messages all night. I'd normally listen to her rantings about church from before, but," To Hunter's surprise, his normally calm and spunky mom shuddered, "now I'm afraid."

"Same here," Hunter showcased the past week's homophobic texts on his phone.

His father patted and caressed his wife's paw for a moment, then turned to the fox and the younger German shepherd. "Is this a phase?" Dad suddenly asked, to which Hunter, his mother and especially Holden tensed in surprise.

Mrs. Thurman wasn't jolly either. "Greg!" she growled in annoyance. "Why would you say something like that?"

His son wasn't impressed either. "Dad--"

"I meant the texts you've been getting!" the elder shepherd corrected himself, ears flushed with embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound homophobic."

"Narrator," Hunter pouted, "I thought we were finished with the cringy LGBT comments from the last story!" Trust me, kid: we've got plenty of unintentionally homophobic schlock left over. "Huh, it's fine, Dad."

"Holden," Dad restarted, "I'm so sorry about that. I uh, hope you've been doing well?" he then quickly added, "With what's been happening, and returning to Greenville?"

The lithe fox relaxed himself and shrugged. "Eh, I've been through worse," he replied. Yeah, the bullying Hunter did to Holden in middle school is much, much worse than this. "Yeah, what he did to me--hey!"

"Um, wait what?" Hunter's dad stared incredulous.

Mrs. Thurman's maw gaped open in utter shock. "What do you mean he used to bully him?"

"Mom, Dad, context!" Hunter gasped with folded ears. "I promise I'd never hurt Holden! I mean, I used to bully him back when we were in middle school but that was like, before I accepted myself. It...It was nothing."

Over several months, you pantsed Holden several times, stole $44 worth of lunch money from him, and then spread rumors to everyone he was peeping on the other boys changing in the locker room and bathroom stalls. I wouldn't call it 'nothing'.

"What the hell?" Hunter barked aloud before lowering his voice to whisper, "What do you think you're doing, Narrator?" My job. "Fuck you!"

Mrs. Thurman gasped. "Hunter!"

"Mom!"

"Karen!"

"Greg!"

Meanwhile Holden's ears were downcast from this pandemonium. "Ugh," the fox muttered under his breath, "I can't believe you're doing this cliché. This is more embarrassing than that pro-life Zootopia comic from a month back."

All three German shepherds sat in sudden silence.

Then Hunter couldn't help but suppress a small giggle. "Pwuff haha," he suddenly laughed, and for some reason so did his parents. "Oh my God, that comic!"

Holden wiped his eyes and struggled to speak between laughter. "...so awful...so stupid...so pretentious..." The comic or Michael Bay's entire filmography? "Both!"

After calming himself down, the lithe fox gathered himself and laughed. "I'm so sorry for this misunderstanding. Lemme say there's context behind what the Narrator has been SPEWING HIS MOUTH OFF LIKE A TWAT ON TWITTER!"

Uhh...are you referring to me?

Dad smirked back to the young fox. "It's okay, sonny. Like you said, it's a misunderstanding."

"You can't blame us though," Mom replied with an earnest smile, her tail now wagging freely "Hunter's told us almost nothing about you. I mean, he rarely tells us about his school life."

Hunter chuckled and scratched the back of his twitching ear. "Uh...sorry," he replied, then turned to Holden. "Sorry."

To his surprise, the fox grabbed the muscular shepherd's paw and beamed his trademark grin. "I love you," he spoke, to which the shepherd blushed more heavily--to his parent's amusement, of course.

Mom smirked and looked to Holden across the seated booth. "Tell us then," she asked, propping an elbow up, "how did you two, after all these years, became a couple?"

"Yeah," Dad added in, "how'd you go from hating each other to...ya know...?"

More relaxed than before, Holden grinned to Hunter and told them everything.

~*~*~*~*~

Well, save for their Halloween adventure in Rukisburg and sexy times. Otherwise the lithe fox eagerly spilled everything, from his parents' divorce a while ago to the conversation he and Hunter had at the McDonalds and the German shepherd's acceptance of himself. Not to mention the former secrecy of their relationship leading to their high school's strange reactions to them coming out (or rather Hunter coming out).

"Okay, you're both seriously telling me," Dad stifled a laugh between bites of his burger, "that your teammates made a bet on when you'd come out to Angela?" The elder canine wiped his paw and pointed to the fox across the table, "And he put his name down and won all of the money?"

Holden, who was having trouble wrapping his maw around the large Double-Bacon Cheesy Burger, simply nodded. Funny, seeing how he didn't struggle wrapping--"Don't even think about it, you pervert," Hunter growled.

Anyway, Holden struggled eating it. "Uhhhh..." he swallowed the first half down, and held his swelling stomach down. "Why'd I order this?"

"Because it'll help give you more bone!" Mom giggled aloud.

Stacey soon arrived with refilled drinks (without more Klinky per Dad's request), and Hunter immediately noticed her eyes gazing at him and the fox. "Do...do you want me to give the b-bill, ma'am?" she asked Mrs. Thurman, who put it off.

"Nah," she shrugged away and patted Holden's shoulder across the table. "A few minutes? I'm getting to know more of my son's boyfriend here!"

The female rabbit softly gasped and glimpsed back to them.

"So-So it's true then?" she asked with fidgeting paws. "Are...Are you two together? Y-You're gay?"

"They sure are!" Mom toasted before drinking the last of her Klinky glass.

"Dawwww, that's so cute!"

Without a beat, the look of an idea formed on Holden's muzzle. He turned to the slightly embarrassed shepherd and grinned.

Hunter noticed. "What's wrong?"

"You've got mustard on your cheek," the smaller canine explained, leaning up from his seat. "Lemme get that for you~<3"

In a series of seconds, Holden licked the mustard from Hunter's cheek, their waitress rushed off with a nosebleed and Hunter blushed red enough for it to be seen through his mahogany fur.

"Holden!" Hunter stumbled with words. "I think you made your point there!"

"I know~!" the fox smirked, then kissed his lips before the tall, muscular jock shriveled in his seat with embarrassment at the open display of affection. Meanwhile, Holden looked back down to his plate and pouted. "Mr. Thurman--"

"Please, Holden," the elder canine replied with earnest, "call me Greg. 'Mr. Thurman' makes me feel old, and so does describing me as an 'elder canine'." Forgive me for giving grammatical variety, but you are old. "Shut it."

"Yep, like father like son," Holden replied, laughing. "Anyway, Greg, I hope I won't have to eat the rest of...this?" He blanched at the remaining half of the burger. "I dunno if I can handle anymore of this much meat."

"That's what he said!" Hunter's mother giggled.

"Sure thing, kiddo," Hunter's father--an elderly canine--replied, grabbing the plate as he spotted the familiar rabbit nearby. "Hey Stacey, mind getting us some doggy bags? I think we're almost ready to go."

Stacey--jotting an order down while having bloody tissues stuffed in her nose--responded, "Sure thing, mister!"

Hunter couldn't help but laugh at her hurriedly retreating into the kitchen.

"She seems lovely," Dad commented.

Hunter stifled a laugh. "Wait 'til she starts chasing you."

Dinner ended when the bill was paid, and Hunter helped his father guide Mom towards the door. While doing so, Holden kept his distance from the overly-happy female shepherd's grasp.

"Ah yes!" she giggled, "You know yer welcome to our house anytime, Holdie! Heh, 'Holdie'."

"Uh...thank you, Mrs. Thurman..."

"It's...*burp*...Karen," she corrected him. "And I mean it I approve of you! Huntie, I approve!" The elder German shepherd giggled and wagged her tail at the short fox. "I...I've met Hunter's few girlfriends before, and lemme tell ya," she tried leaning forward only for her husband to clutch her upward onto her feet, "they weren't as bright as you, or smart or foxy, heh. Hot yes, but..."

"Alright, Mom that's enough," Hunter mused with her. "I think he gets the point."

"Really?" Holden couldn't help but grin despite the stomachache. "Well then, we're gonna have to have a chat about these other girls, right Hunter?"

The youngest German shepherd laughed nervously. "Of-Of course, sweetie."

Mom hooted with laughter, clearly drunk off her tail after a couple glasses of Klinky. "Hey, I'm not drunk!" she then turned to the back office and saw a weasel. That was Paulie Samson, owner of Samson's for the past generation and the local hard-ass save for George Johnson. "Hey Paulie! Imma be a little late tomorrow for work, okay?"

"Fine, Karen, but I want ya to stay back for an extra hour tomorrow night's shift, okay?" he grumbled.

"I'm pretty sure I'll be driving home then," Greg spoke amusedly to his son. As they helped her into the passenger seat of the family car, he turned to the lithe fox and smiled. "I hope dinner was good for you, Holden?"

"Oooh," the fox smiled uneasily while holding his stomach. "It was great meeting you and Mrs. Thurman--Karen, I mean!" Suddenly, his ears perked straight up. "Oh yeah, and my Mom wanted to say 'hi' to you two. She says she knew Karen?"

"I do!" Hunter's mother screamed giddily in her seat. "Oh my God, I haven't seen her in years!"

"I'll tell her you said 'hello' too," he called back from the other end of the empty street. "Good night, Mr. and Mrs. Thurman!"

~*~*~*~*~

Before driving Holden home, Hunter dropped by one of Greenville's two gas stations to fill up the Ion. Unlike the other station across the street (literally), Ceddo's Car n' Go stayed open 24 hours, while the other--an old one from the town's founding in 1962 called 'Gas, Grass n' Pass'--closed early due to the owner also co-managing Bojack's Snack Shack. Yep, small town.

"You sit here then, okay?" Hunter spoke comfortingly to the queasy fox. "Do you need anything from inside?"

"No," the fox shook his muzzle. "I would like a kiss?"

The teenage shepherd smirked, and leaned forward for a peck. Then two. Then three and more until the horndog and hornfox remembered the need to breathe.

"Mmm, I think tonight went well..."

"You THINK it went well?" Holden asked the unsure shepherd. "Honey, if a parent gets drunk and starts telling you they approve of your boyfriend, I think it's a win."

"Point taken," he replied, then nuzzled the fox's warm cheeks. "You stay here then while I get gas."

Holden chuckled and "I'll try not to barf."

Hunter went inside then and reluctantly paid for a full tank of gas, coming back out to see another car parking by the pump. A foreign-manufactured Ebenezer model, and red as the skirt and coat of its driver.

"Speak of the devil," Hunter groaned before musing, "...or is it succubus?" I don't know, I'm not a demonology major. "Wait,where can you get a demonology major?" His ears perked back to the driver exiting her vehicle. "I'm considering it for college."

Two figures exited the vehicle. One was a golden-furred she-wolf and the other a husky, with the former stayed in the car as the she-wolf ran inside. "Fuck, I gotta pee like a banshee..." However, she stopped for a moment when her blue eyes met Hunter's. "Hunt...Hunty--"

Without a word, the German shepherd got to his car, leaving Angela to dash inside for the restroom. Growling under his breath, Hunter's anger dissipated when he saw the husky in the passenger window. A familiar muzzle.

"Hey Hunter!" she greeted happily. "It's been a while since the author decided to include me from the first story!"

"Veronica?" the shepherd formed a smile and flicked his tail. Looking over his car's roof he began loading gas into the Ion. "Hey there. How are you?"

It was Veronica Falk, the husky cheerleader who'd convinced him into seeing Holden. Who knew time went by so fast in only two months?

"Hunter?" Holden asked from the back seat, having decided to lay down due to his stomachache getting worse. "Hunter?"

"Wait, is that Holden in the car?" Veronica asked the shepherd. In response, the fox sat up and gave his trademark beam again. Widening her eyes and giggling, the husky's tail wagged against the seat as she craned her neck. "Oh em gee, I saw you and Hunter holding hands once in the halls! I wanted to say hello and congratulate you, but...well, there's Angela."

Angela Preacher had plenty of compatriots and 'best friends' in her arsenal, going through them more than the current White House administration goes through internships. Unlike there however, Angela didn't take betrayal lightly. The last time one turned against her included a nasty rumor involving a pig. That was a couple years ago.

"Right," Hunter commented. "Do we only have a minute or so to talk?"

"Two if she's angsty over her make-up. With you though, I give it three or four at minimum," Veronica explained, grinning and giggling towards the queasy fox. "Are you feeling alright there, Holden?" The husky eagerly got out and offered a paw through the open window. "Oh right, I'm Veronica. Veronica Falk."

"I've seen you before at football practice," Holden, trying to keep a smile as he shook her paw, moaned while clutching his stomach. "Sorry, I'm not feeling well. Just had dinner at Samson's. Now..." The poor fox burped, and his stomach grumbled. "Now I feel like Morgan Spurlock in 2004."

Veronica giggled despite not knowing the name.

Hunter got it though and sighed. "We were out having dinner with my folks, and he chose to have the Double-Bacon Cheesy Burger."

Veronica gasped. "You really ate the Double-Bacon Cheesy Burger? That comes with a warning for diabetes, doesn't it?"

"Wouldn't doubt it..." Holden moaned a giggle and lied down. "Welcome to Wisconsin."

Hunter laughed with Veronica. "So uh...I never got the chance to say this..." the German shepherd spoke, "but thank you."

The husky blushed softly for the muscular, handsome German shepherd. "Y-You're welcome, Hunter," she peeped, leaning back against Angela's Ebenezer. "I...I just wanted you to go with your h-heart. B-Besides, you and H-Holden look so cute together."

"We really do!" Holden called from the car, giggling upon remembering something. "Especially when Hunter was helping me with basketball yesterday, and I couldn't get a single shot in the basket. Coach Sampson told me I needed a single shot, so Hunter here stepped behind me and tenderly guided my arms to make the shot."

Right then, Hunter's ears fell and his tail curled. "Holden!" he whimpered.

He remembered that moment. Coach was pressing for the fox to make a single shot, but given his slim body it was difficult. The tall shepherd didn't know what came over him, but he did just as Holden described despite stares from some of the guys and the giggling from the girls. When the fox mindlessly turned to peck his nose, that was when the German shepherd's embarrassment shine.

"Dawwwww," the husky clapped her paws to her cheeks. "I actually saw that! The way you held his elbows and such! And that nose kiss; so romantic!"

You just keep doing this to me, don't you? Hunter thought.

Give me credit, won't you? Admit you like it. Come on, admit it.

Hunter sighed as a small smile formed. "Alright, it was romantic," he confessed. "Plus, I uh...I couldn't let Holden down."

Suddenly, the air grew chilly before anyone could speak. All eyes then turned to see Angela step outside, and her eyes glare at them.

"Veronica!" Jumped away from where she was leaning.

"Hunter." Put the pump away and quickly went around into the driver's seat.

Angela stood dressed in a red skirt and white blouse, underneath a red-and-white trimmed coat that'd make Mrs. Claus laugh. As always her fur shone under the lights of the gas station, like a spotlight.

"Veronica, get in the car," she ordered, to which the visibly frightened husky followed. As the golden she-wolf strolled towards the Ion, part of Hunter wondered if her smiling mask would crack in negative degree winter. "Hey Hunty."

Hunter said nothing.

"Hunter, look at me!" she persisted. "Hunter, you're being immature here."

Still nothing.

"Hunter--"

Holden suddenly moaned in the backseat, causing Angela's eyes to icily stare at the fox. Looking up and seeing the fancy she-wolf, he didn't miss a beat and smiled.

"Hello Angela," he waved. "Wonderful evening out."

Looking at the fox with clear disgust, the golden she-wolf turned to her 'friend' in the car. "Veronica," she said, "Who're you dating lately? I'm going out this weekend with Zachary Apple. He's such a dreamboat, and is totally into me. After all, it's a rule for the jock to be with the cheerleader, right."

"More of a hopeless trope Angela," Veronica muttered.

Angela flared. "What was that?"

"Oh, one can only hope Angela," the husky saved face.

"Yeah," she shrugged, glancing back to the German shepherd and fox. "It's _natural_for him to be into me. Guys are programmed that way. Always has been and always will be. Any guy who isn't into beautiful girls like me are only unnatural, disgusting fag--"

Hunter stomped his toes on the gas and swerved onto the road, leaving dust trails behind as a faint scream could be heard.

"Ugh," Holden moaned from the back seat, and the shepherd slowed down. "You could've warned me you were gonna do that, sweetie!"

Hunter's angered expression softened, and he glimpsed at the mirror. "Oh God, I'm very sorry, Holden," he hastily apologized, now feeling like a colossal dick for his actions. "Very, very sorry!"

The fox laughed and shifted onto his back. "I'm fine, but I don't think she is," Holden added, "I think you got dust onto her shiny car."

To this the German shepherd gave a lowly growl. "Whatever," he grunted.

Holden suddenly made a lewd smirk. "Are you jealous of her and thinking of dumping me?"

The jock at the wheel immediately frowned. "After she tried to Freddy Kreuger you last week on Halloween?" Hunter's neck craned to the fox and formed a soft grin. "I'd rather transfer to Rukisburg High and deal with their bullshit rules than do anything with that manipulative alpha bitch."

Holden beamed. "That's a good pup."

Suddenly Hunter felt his phone buzz, and read when they came to a stop light. "Veronica sent me a text. Says we should 'totally go see a gay film together. Like "Brokeback Mountain" or whatever'," he then laughed the second hardest laugh of tonight. "She even said, I kid you not this is real, 'something with gay teen pride in it'."

"Oh yeah," Holden chirped and burped, "Nothing says 'gay teen pride' than movies with casual homophobia, R-rated violence and a soundtrack mostly made of one background song and tense silence."

They eventually came to Holden's duplex, and Hunter was happy to walk the lithe fox to his door. Holding paws, of course. When they came to the door, Hunter didn't stop to pull the smaller canine into a close embrace, kissing him close and tasting the traces of the fox's meal.

Hunter parted for air and blushed under his cheeks. "I love you."

"Love you too," Holden smiled despite his stomach. "See you tomorrow, Hunter."

The shepherd jock drove home with a complete grin on his muzzle. Screw the awkwardness of tonight, the yaoi fangirl waitress, his mother being drunk and that encounter with Angela; tonight was great.

Until he came home to find his father and (soberer) mother in the kitchen.

With pamphlets.

Sex-Ed pamphlets.

"Well good night!" Hunter tried running only for Dad to drag him to the table.

"We just want you and Holden to be safe, honey," he said to his son.

"We don't have STDs, dammit!" he growled. "And I have Google!"

"Hunter," Mom patted his paw at the table. "It's not about STDs. We also want to talk to you about HIV infection," Hunter groaned, "genital warts," Hunter groaned louder, "anal fissures," Hunter groaned even louder, "consent with partners..."

Hunter's ears perked up. "Okay, that's actually not a bad thing to address."

"Along with genital warts and planning of sexual activity," Mom finished, "such as what happened in the school's tool shed."

If Hunter thought the previous revelation was a nightmare, then this was hell.

Dad laughed in his seat. "Kudos for not getting caught though."

"I thought you said they couldn't see our actions anymore!" Hunter growled.

I lied.

Hunter whirled back to his folks. "And I thought you said you wouldn't have to have me read those if I brought Holden to dinner?!"

"We lied." Mom smirked.

Dad nodded. "We sure did. Son, it's time for you and me to suffer through this."

"Now," Hunter's mother chirped up, grabbing one of the pamphlets, "let's discuss the safeties of anal sex..."

_ Somebody shoot me._

The End