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Third Energy Anomaly Report - Subject Four

11-04-2034

Recorded by Dr. Andrea Dixon

Another anomaly has occurred, just like with Subject Three last year. Two people arrived, one who calls himself Shovel Knight from presumably medieval times of another world; the other a robot named Bomberman who is guided by a radio communicator. The two engaged in a frenzied battle near our base but it has thankfully been resolved due to a more pressing matter that now grips the base. Dr. Izquierda has gone missing, possibly kidnapped during the battle and now in the hands of Shovel Knight's target who we briefly entertained under his false pretence that he was a doctor being hunted by terrorists.

What puzzles me the most is that even though we were aware of our T.E. Gate activating once again with a similar excessive energy output to last year's arrivals, we found no indication on our long-distance scanners of any anomalies arriving on that same day. Enquiries have led me to find that the long-distance scan has a limited range, so wherever these anomalies arrived must have been from beyond the Barren Plains. Should this become a regular occurrence I am requesting that we find the means to boost the distance of our radar equipment.

"Now," began Thomas Brightman with his hands behind his back, "let's start over and end this pointless charade. You are searching for a mad doctor called the Plague Knight."

"Indeed," said the Shovel Knight.

"You however," the general said turning towards the bomber, "are searching for a man called Mujoe who has an army of bandits."

"Exactly," replied the robot's radio.

"So how did you come to know this doctor Plague?"

"We met during our recon two days ago. After Mujoe escaped into another dimension which we presume is here, the doctor was being attacked by Mujoe's fiends and so we rescued him. He then approached us and explained in his own words that a fiend named Shovel Knight was Mujoe's foreign contact in this world, and he was fleeing from him."

"I have never heard of this Mujoe," reiterated the knight, "yet certainly he is not one of Plague Knight's colleagues in crime either."

"If this doctor came from the same world as you, then the only way he would know of Mujoe was that he actually met him. Considering that Mujoe's own fiends were chasing after him, I predict that the two turned us on each other in order to continue their crimes unabated!"

"A sound argument. It is the only conclusion that seems natural, and I can confirm I also arrived here two days hence whilst chasing that quack."

"Well then, that settles it!"

The robotic being stepped forwards with a strangely human posture, none of the stiff metallic gait that would be expected from such a machine as his eyes turned into n-shaped symbols, almost smiling at the room around him. Thomas, Andrea, Jane and Oddclaw all stood in a semi-circle around their meeting table with display staring towards the two newcomers as the robot's radio spoke.

"First off, allow me to apologise on our behalf for our impulsiveness. That doctor had us assured that you were working for Mujoe and we had no reason not to believe him."

"I accept your apology," said the knight relaxing his arms. "You are not the first to be assuaged by that merchant of lies that knave is."

"Let's start over shall we? My name is Doctor Ein, I am one of the head researchers of the Justice Department currently operating in the Bomber Nebula. This noble android you see before you is the White Bomberman, our most loyal dependable ally in the fight against evil across our galaxy."

The White Bomberman offered his fist to shake, the knight gripping it in his steel gauntlet as he nodded.

"Well met, I am known simply as the Shovel Knight, sir Bomberman."

"Well mister Knight we are glad to make your acquaintance! Sorry again for all that kerfuffle."

"All is forgiven," said the knight waving his hand, "I have fought others for far more vexing reasons."

"Um, pardon me," asked Andrea leaning forwards, "but...doctor Ein, was it, you sound like you're coming from a radio."

"AH yes, Bomberman is equipped with a transdimensional transponder that operates on subspace ELF so no matter what dimension he lands in, we can always keep contact."

"Sub...space wait what?! You're...y-you are ACTUALLY in another dimension, right now?!"

"Mmhmm, indeed I can even see you all from my lab!"

Suddenly a miniature screen popped up from the robot's wrist, showing a rather spiky-haired moustached man with swirled glasses in a labcoat waving at them. The background barely showed his surroundings to be a steel house as everyone else waved rather awkwardly, except Oddclaw who was quite cheerful with vigorous claw waving.

"Hello doctor Ein!" said the raptor.

"AH, yes hello, you are Oddclaw yes?"

"That is me yes! Is this row-bot your friend?"

"Oh indeed, Bomberman is our greatest hero, or White Bomberman I should say."

"Why white?" asked Jane. "Aren't there others too?"

"Oh yes in all types of colours, but he is our strongest, and smartest too!"

Bomberman gave a small blush wordlessly, scratching the back of his head with red cheeks inside his helmet as Jane rubbed her head with exasperation.

"Bloody hell, a robot that can blush and a knight who fights with a shovel, what the hell is going on Andrea?!"

"You're asking me?!" replied Dixon with fingergun to her chest.

"Yes I'm asking you, this is YOUR third energy gate thing that's bringing this lot in, first we had bloody space pirates alongside regular pirates and now some fake doctor just kidnapped Kevin!"

"I can't control this damn thing you know that!"

"Enough!" barked Brightman swinging his finger at them. "Andrea has no control over the gate, if she did we would be home by now."

"I-i know that," stammered Jane, "but-"

"But nothing, you're not helping Kevin by shouting off at people around you, we have to focus on hunting down this Plague Knight and bringing him back."

"And stopping Mujoe!" cried Ein's visual unit. "He is a fiend to be reckoned with!"

"That too, we shouldn't allow any terrorists to go wandering around this place, now doctor Ein."

"Yes?"

"Do you have any data on this Mujoe that can help us?"

"Actually yes, I have a recording of a TV broadcast he hijacked just before he disappeared into this world, allow me."

The little blue screen began to fizzle out and switch to a recording, showing a rather brutish-looking man with strong muscular arms and a blue muscular shirt with swishing green cape and absurdly sharp silver pauldrons on his shoulders. Red horn-rimmed glasses accompanied his flyaway blonde hair and beard with a thin moustache circling his mouth.

"ATTENTION, CITIZENS OF PLANET BOMBER! As you all know, my plans for greatness and world domination have been RUINED by one of YOUR people! So I decided it's time we finish this with an ultimatum, one that is as simple as your measly little lives! Either bring me the White Bomberman...or else."

He sweeped his cape to behind him revealing a large terrifying orb of red and green bands that pulsed like a ticking bomb, surrounded by black minions with white faces clamouring around the immense device.

"This is just a little thing I've been saving up, something that's capable of sayyyyy melting the polar ice cap and causing a flood that will DROWN the Northern Bombersphere! Consider this a global WARNING!"

The camera showed the dastardly Mujoe once more smiling with a maniacal grin pointing his finger at the lens.

"If you care about your planet then FACE ME BOMBERMAN! Either the White Bomberman comes to me, ALONE, or else it's bye-bye to the next three continents south of me! HMHA, HMHMHWAHAHAHA, HAHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

With psycho cackling the screen froze, blending back to the perplexed look of Dr. Ein in his lab which reflected the curious looks of disbelief from the humans and raptor.

"Is this some fucking anime or what?!" cried Dixon.

"What brazen dastardry!" added Shovel Knight. "I shudder to think of him in the same company as the Plague Knight."

"He is a former pro-westler," stated Ein, "he commands the Hige Hige Bandits and is a most menacing foe indeed!"

"He looks very stupid," said Oddclaw cocking his head.

"THANK you," replied Thomas with hands praised towards him, "I was just about to say what a moron he looks like but since you mentioned he was a wrestler it makes sense."

"Do not be fooled!" clamoured Ein with finger raised defiantly. "Mujoe is powerful and dangerous, he has a team of minions and a deadly force of machines to back it up!"

"What happened to that giant bomb we saw?"

"We disabled it. Luckily it was not taken when he got sucked in through a portal, only his group and Bomberman but that doesn't mean he won't have weapons still on him! Last I recall it took half his entire base with him."

"First a pirate ship now half a base?!" squawked Jane. "God what is even happening anymore?!"

"This is like the worst South Park episode," muttered Andrea facepalming.

"You mean every one of them after we were born?"

"Mmmhmm you know it sis."

Their fistbump was a small measure to preserve the little sanity they had left amidst their private chuckling.

"Wh-what about Kevin?!" cried Oddclaw with feet hopping back and forth. "We have to find him!"

"You think I've forgotten?" snarled Thomas. "That bastard took liberty of our hospitality and I'll be damned if I'm letting him get away with this."

"What do we do?"

"We hunt him down. One thing you and I have in common is that if someone has wronged us, then we hunt them and bring them to justice at any cost."

"I agree."

He offered his hand to shake as Thomas clasped it tight, forging their alliance more fully as the general turned towards the group.

"Mister Knight, doctor Ein, I would appreciate your assistance in chasing down these terrorists."

"Verily!" said the knight.

"Ready for orders, sir!" said Ein with Bomberman saluting stiffly.

"Hold on," asked Jane pushing her hand forward, "are you, actually joining them sir?"

"Our chief chemist has been abducted," replied Thomas sternly, "there's a time for authority and there's a time for action."

"But you're our boss, w-wouldn't it be dangerous, you have soldiers!"

"Not this time. I'm making a statement here showing that I am not afraid of dealing with these cowards."

"Well...a-alright then...not like I have authority to tell you no."

"Meeting adjourned, dismissed."

She rubbed her arm uncomfortably as he went to prepare himself. The bomber and the knight were taken by Jane to be seated in a spare room with Oddclaw following whilst Dixon went back to her laboratory. Standing out even more than the raptor did, the metallic white humanoid and the blue steel vanguard stomped through the corridors with clanking sounds of their feet.

"This is quite an impressive base!" said Ein. "Did you manage to build it in this time period?"

"No we brought it with-..." Jane almost stopped in her tracks with a slowing pace, "how do you know we travelled through time?"

"Well the flora was most definitely prehistoric when we arrived, plus it is clearly a known fact that humans and dinosaurs did not exist in the same time period."

"Is that true?" asked Shovel Knight turning his helmet head. "Are these beasts not drakes and wyrms of a draconic subcaste?"

"No no sir knight, those such as Oddclaw here are dinosaurs, who existed millions of years before humanity existed."

"M-millions?! Are you quite certain?!"

"Quite so!"

"Well...hmhm I have no reason to doubt a man of science though I hardly expected a world to be so ancient. Be that true for all worlds, or just this one doctor?"

"As far as I know it seems to be a common rule thanks to the legacy of evolution!"

"Evolution..." the knight tented his steel fingers in contemplation, "I hath heard of this phrase by budding scholars at universities, though it be controversial to speak of when the church are most displeased of any such concepts that would dare conflict with their long-forsaken mythopoeia."

"What do you think, personally?"

Bomberman leaned his head forwards with hands behind his back in a rather disarming pose, genuinely curious as the knight raised his hand above as if grasping the sun.

"I wish not to live in the past with such debates, there is only the present and the future for me. The past I need only concern myself with in order to count transgressions so as to mentain the world's integrity, not debate of the world's existence. In short, whilst I respect the fables and lore of the church as decent lessons of spirit, I believe we must also temper that with discovery born anew in the midst of our world, for a world without knowledge nor spirituality, would be most tragic and lifeless without hope or faith to guide it."

"That's very reasonable," replied Jane stepping in front of them. "I did not expect you to be so balanced."

"I do not bother choosing a side, both are important for the sake of people and as such should be meted out by those far more pious and scholarly than me."

"Understandable. You can rest in this room until Major-General is ready to leave."

"Thank you my lady. We shall prepare ourselves until then."

The knight and bomber bowed with grace before entering the spare quarters leaving Jane with Oddclaw looking perplexed.

"Can you un-derstand him?" he asked uncertain.

"What do you mean?" replied Jane.

"Mister Night uses very strange words that...confuse me."

"Ohohoho yes, he speaks a very um...traditional English, something that humans do not speak anymore."

"Why?"

"Because some words aren't necessary anymore."

"Ah, I see. Why are you nervous about Brightman leaving?"

"I don't want him to get hurt."

"But you do not like him."

"No, Oddie, I..."

She sighed and took him towards her room to give them some privacy, as well as to find a place to sit down.

"If he gets hurt, or killed god forbid, then we will be lost without command."

"Why?" asked Oddie.

"He is the most efficient leader we have. He has underlings to replace him yes but I just don't want him to go recklessly running into a situation out of some sense of pride."

"You are worried he is foolish."

"Yes!"

"I will keep him safe," said the raptor reaching out to hold her hand across the table. "If he does something foolish, I will stop him."

"Could you?" asked Jane. "I'm sorry to ask, I know it's weird that I trust you more than him-"

"It is strange, but I promise to keep him safe."

"Thank you. Sorry, I would send out Jeremy but with him being injured an-"

"WHAT?!"

He stood up with frantic claws scraping on the table, almost cutting Jane's fingers before he remembered himself.

"WH-WHAT HAPPENED, IS HE OKAY?!"

"NO NO HE'S FINE ODDIE!" she cried putting hands up.

"Y-YOU JUST SAID HE WAS INJURED!"

"It's just his arm it's fiiine Oddie, he'll recover!"

"C-can I see him!?"

"Well yes of course we-"

"Take me to him!"

Addison took him as he begged to the medical room where Jeremy was lying in bed with his left arm slung in a cast and hoisted by wires. A few others were there either sick or wounded, but Oddclaw focused on his friend alone, his moustache brimming silver as he looked towards the raptor.

"Awwww christ."

"J-jeremy, Jeremy are you alright?!"

"Ahm fine dab, don' worry abou-OOF!"

He barely had a chance to speak when Oddie rushed forwards to hug him and lick rapidly all over his face, squeezing himself against the less-injured side of his body. Jeremy rolled his eyes but relented to hug the raptor with his bare right arm whilst looking past him towards Jane.

"Did you tell 'im?"

"I'm sorry it slipped out," replied Jane tittering at the raptor cuddling him.

"This is exactly why ah didn' want you tellin' him!"

"But it's so sweeeet!"

"What happened?!" asked Oddclaw pulling back.

"Just fell in thuh jungle when out," shrugged Jeremy, "landed a bit too hard an' broke me arm on summat, it'll be fine."

"W-will you be alright, it will heal yes?!"

"Course it's gonna heal, we 'ave medicine 'ere an' such cummon dab."

"S-sorry, I...I am sorry, I worry about you."

"You shouldn't 'ave to worry about me Odd. Look at me."

Holt pulled him closer to whisper into his ear without Jane overhearing.

"After all that hard buggerin' we gave each other, you think I'm really that easy to knock down?"

"N-n-n-...no."

"So whut you worryin' about you daft twat?"

Jeremy kissed him sweetly on the lips, making Oddie blush as he pulled back smiling.

"Ahm fine 'ere, you just be off with yah."

"Y-yes...okay. I hope you heal up soon, Jeremy."

"Ah will, mochyn bach."

The raptor turned bright red and giggled strangely as he scurried off past Jane leaving the woman perplexed by their dialogue between them.

"What did you say to him?" she asked crossing her arms.

"Just not to worry 'imself," said Holt waving her off, "got more important stuff to do than just fussin' o'er a daft bugger like me."

"Jeremy he was worried about you, let him worry, we're not all like you."

"Whussat s'posed to mean?"

"We don't bottle up our emotions like they did in your day, it's not healthy."

"Ahm not bottlin' up nuthin', just there are bigger things to deal with than me an' he knows that."

"Alright. Get well soon Jer."

She trotted off as he laid back and sighed, clasping his face with his unbroken hand in a soft mumble of frustration.

"Christ...shoulda asked one o' them to get me a book."

Oddclaw walked his way back to where Shovel Knight and Bomberman were staying, only to find that the knight was the only one there taking a small nap on the sofa whilst still in his armour. Leaving the warrior to sleep, he went down along the halls as he smelt the burning trace of the robot's presence heading back along the way. It led towards Angela's laboratory where the voice of Dr. Ein could be heard as he stared upon the magnificent gate. Oddclaw had barely looked at it since the departure of Samus and Vyse more than a year ago, but now it looked so much more different in its design.

The alien influences were very clear upon it, the large circular frame of human construct now given the addition of sleek yet bulbous implants on either side of it as well as around its base. To the raptor it resembled two bizarre silver trees bent towards each other with hanging purple fruit that the white robot stood in front of.

"This is exceptional!" cried Ein impressed. "It's very rare I see such successful combining elements of two different worlds' technologies!"

"We had some help," said Dixon rubbing her forehead, "the last visitors we had gave us some instructions on dealing with the alien parts."

"What do they do?"

"They help amplify the power of our gate, but they also help to reverse its origin transference, so for example, you and that knight arriving here? We can send you back to your worlds once this is done."

"OH that's good, I was worried you would have some difficulties if what you said was true about your dimensional incidents being uncontrolled."

"We still haven't figured out the common denominator behind this machine's dimensional alterations...I don't suppose you know anything about quantum physics?"

"Ohhhh I dabbled in it," said Ein as Bomberman turned fully towards her, "sometimes a dimensional fray has occurred or a need has necessitated some hyperspace travel to other parts of the galaxy."

"Do you think you could help with this, when you have time?"

"I would be glad to assist you fellow scientist! What was your name again?"

"Andrea Dixon, I'm the chief of the third energy department."

"Third energy?"

Oddclaw became bored by their science talk and drifted to the library to spend the remainder of his time reading. It had been a while since he read any books, settling down on a beanbag cushion to peruse a short series of stories about a man called Sherlock Holmes who lived in the city of London. Oddclaw recognised the phrase "detective" and instantly imagined a sharp-nosed man in a wide-brimmed Chicago hat with long brown trenchcoat. He finished the first story titled "A Study in Scarlet" and was just starting through the next chapter before he was called by Jane.

"Oddie, they're ready to leave!"

"Wha-but...b-but I was just about to read the sig-un of the four!"

"Awww sorry, you want me to tell miss Kerkorian to keep it safe for you."

"Hhhhhhh yes please."

Putting the book back in a huff he trudged out of the library and came back to the meeting room where Shovel Knight, Bomberman and Major-General Brightman were all ready to leave. The general had his handgun as standard at the hip, with an assault rifle strapped to his back and dressing down from his military suit into standard camo soldier gear with no discerning insignia marks.

"Are you sure you want to leave?" Jane asked Thomas carefully. "You must have other soldiers to accompany them."

"I do," said Brightman, "but if these terrorists come here then all of our efforts will be wasted, we cannot spare any soldiers to be lost chasing after them when they can be here protecting our civilians and science team. The best strategy in dealing with terrorists is to assemble a commando squad and infiltrate their operations before shutting them down."

"I understand andagree that's an advisable strategy but, what makes this different from the last invasion we had?"

"Well one group was just a horde of kidnappers, the other a band of measly pirates, both of whom were dealt with swiftly by our visitors via like I said, a commando squadron. I have faith in our two new friends who clearly have past experience with these people and their knowledge alone will give us the favour."

"We are most assuredly capable," said Shovel Knight bowing, "the Plague Knight is malevolent but his minions are of little consequence against mine experience."

"And Mujoe's fiends are no match for Bomberman!" crowed Ein as the bomber puffed his chest with hands on hips. "The only real danger is Mujoe himself and whatever foul machines he's managed to have brought with him!"

"Then that settles it," said Brightman slamming his fist into his hand, "these bastards are gonna pay for kidnapping our friend."

"Shall we go?" asked Oddclaw.

"Soon as we're all ready, are you?"

"I am, yes."

"I must stress that this is a military operation, and as such all three of you must take orders from me whenever necessary."

"I understand sir."

"Doctor Addison I'll give you orders at a later time, we may require the Petrie for future assistance."

"Understood," she replied nodding. "Just be careful out there, please."

The four males nodded as they made their way out of the base by means of a lone speedboat just accommodating four of them. The boats were more-or-less modified speedboats that now had impulse-speed engines and body armour fitted from the scavenged parts of the space ship Otomakas.

"Where are we going?" asked Oddclaw.

"Somewhere out of range from our long-scan," said Thomas taking the wheel, "the Petrie's too obvious so we'll have to sneak our way in with something more easy to hide."

"The ray-dar does not know where they are?"

"It has limits on its range."

"But I can call you from my ray-dee-oh from far away."

"You're closer to us distance-wise than wherever these terrorists are."

"Oh."

The slight heave of the boat on the waves made him queasy but he resisted as their two steel companions debated on their future plan.

"Where dost this brigand Mujoe lie?"

"We are not certain," said Ein as the bomber pressed a fist to his chin in ponderment, "but if he is working with this Plague Knight then perhaps we follow him since we saw him last."

"A sound idea doctor. It was before our impromptu confrontation and he hath no method of flight or aquatic means so he must have escaped towards the west...and yet-"

"Yet what?" asked Oddclaw.

"I encountered his minions much farther away, near a giant mountain near your home Oddclaw."

"Yes, and we fought them together today! If you fought them near a jai-ant mountain, that must be the Skylands."

"Wait."

Thomas turned towards the group after checking over the ship's controls.

"If you fought Plague Knight's minions near Oddclaw's home, how did HE get to our base today when it takes five days to get from our base to the Skylands?"

"He must have had help," replied Ein, "Mujoe must have transportation with him, set down Plague Knight near our location."

"How did you first meet him?"

"Bomberman found himself at a black mountain a few hours' walk from the base where we fought off Mujoe's Hige Hige bandits. They were terrorising Plague Knight and chasing after him but now we see that this was all a ruse."

"a play cast before thee," murmured Shovel Knight, "to make you THINK that the Plague Knight was but another wayward ally."

"They came running from the southwest, I expect he may have speedboats since when we fought him back in our universe he was at an aquatic base."

"Was it above or below sea level?" asked Thomas.

"Above, he converted some old docks into a personal base, half of which got sucked up into your portal. Tell me is there anything near or around the Skylands?"

"The Lake of the Longnecks to the north of it," replied Oddclaw looking up at the sky, "south are the hunting plains where I was, they are not there. South and west of it are the Jaws of the Earth, they are very deep."

"Then I suggest we make our way to the Longnecks' Lake and scope the environment."

"We can stop at the lone island," said Brightman starting up the boat, "makes for good cover to observe unless they're already on it."

Heading off in a relatively western direction, the speedboat thrummed across the waves with startling efficiency in cutting through the waters with tremendous grace. Oddclaw felt the same wind-searing shriek past his ears as when he was being flown on Vyse's ship, which further added to his discomfort. Struggling from the horrid bounce of the sea cradling the boat underneath, he resorted to vomiting over the side a few times with sickening muted retch.

"Don't got your sea legs?!" cried Thomas.

"N-no- HRRRKH!"

"Here's some advice for you. Antihistamines, next time you're coming out with us ask Jane for some of them. For now just lie down on your back on the floor in the middle of the boat."

"O-okay...S-samus told me to do that too-_HRR- HRRRRRGHKH! _"

Brightman rolled his eyes shaking his head to think that a raptor could suffer motion sickness. But regardless he drove on towards the lonely island now devoid of baneful pirates. The trip took three hours by boat, landing on a quiet coast out of sight as the four men travelled through the jungle to get a good shot of the Skylands from a hidden point of view. Oddclaw was curious at how this island had no life on it larger than insects and the odd small winged beast, feathery vermin that looked like a bizarre blend between his species and flyers.

"A small fracture of paradise," mused Shovel Knight, "this island be the very definition of tranquility."

"I like this place," replied Odd staggering slightly from the boat, "it...it is quiet but not...empty."

"Interesting," replied doctor Ein, "were I a biologist I would love to see the evolutionary standards of this place."

"I do not know anyone who can swim, so no hunters or prey can live here."

"You cannot swim?"

"No, no one in my tribe can."

They reached the western coast of the island after a small trek through the jungle before Thomas brought out a small collapsible telescope from his hip satchel. The Skylands stood proudly before them across the bay, a searing mountain range that the clouds briefly skimmed through, with the longnecked herd in their large estuary lake towards the right side of the cliffs. Brightman scanned the lay of the land carefully, trying to estimate any foreign intrusions in the seascape.

"Anything?" asked Odd.

"Not yet," murmured Thomas.

"We do not even know what they look like."

"If they don't look like dinosaurs, they're our target, simple as that."

"A fine truth," replied Shovel Knight, "if not rather xenophobic."

"I work in the army, you can't fuss around with PC terms when you have to order something direct and firm, no matter how insensitive it might sound."

"I understand. There is a time for civility and a time for action."

"Exactly."

"I must stress I wish to capture the Plague Knight alive."

"And I must stress," added Ein, "that Mujoe must serve his sentence in galactic prison!"

"Got it," replied Thomas, "takedown non-lethal. ...wait. I think I see something."

They gathered round beside him kneeling into the grassy knoll as Major-General peered through his lens. There was another boat out on the sea, one of a unique design being driven by a small white-faced creature with thin smile, pink eyes and a black suit with bulbous head shaped like a watermelon. A collective of plants and rocks were in the back of the boat as they raced into a small fissure beneath where the Birthlands were.

Deep below the earth was half of a constructed base that had replaced volumes of thick sedimentary stone with its presence upon arriving in this world. The fissure that had formed into a makeshift passageway had occurred naturally from the sudden absence of support, crumbling some of the cliff and forming an impromptu dock. The base was composed of sheer walls with thick galvanised steel along with several laboratories and a hangar where immense parts laid scattered like a giant's dismembered corpse. The little men in black hurried to and fro with stumpy legs as they dragged metal and drove machines that either carried crates in forklifts or pulled enormous lumps with magnetic pads into the room.

During all this Kevin was in a laboratory adjacent, tied up and under constant watch by the green-cloaked fiends of Plague Knight's personal army. The lab had been rather hastily built as a few tables in a hollowed-out section of rock with a sheet door to prevent gas escaping into the hangar bay. The Plague Knight danced and sprinted between desks like some Shakespearean fairy, pouring vials into other vials as bottles fizzed and trembled beside beakers with various fluids.

"How are you enjoying our hospitality?!" he cried. "Is it not delightful to see a MAESTRO perform his work!?"

"It's okay," shrugged Kevin with pessimistic look, "you could do with some chairs though, I mean how the hell you going to have a party, just have everyone sit on the floor?!"

"We're not HAVING a party you ignoramus!"

"Not the way you're planning this no, this is terrible!"

"SILENCE!" the doctor shrieked spinning round to brandish his staff towards Kevin's face. "You shall know your place as our PRISONER!"

"I wish I was in prison, at least I would have a bed, and food."

"Oh I am SORRY your maaaaaajesty, I did not realise we were expecting royalty!"

The villain motioned his guards to pull Kevin up hard on his feet so he could poke him in the stomach, his diminutive status even more obvious now than before.

"You are simply insurance, in case your friends decide to crash our little party!"

"I thought you said this wasn't a party."

"WH-WHAT I MEANT WAS THAT YOU BETTER LEARN TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!"

"Or else what? You can't kill me, I'm the only one that understands my notes."

"I do not NEED you for science you banal little simpleton, I am the PLAGUE KNIGHT!"

"Do you even have a doctorate?"

"WATCH IT!" He fwipped his staff straight towards Kevin's chin. "One word from me and I will melt you into a PUSTULE when I am done with you!"

"HHhhahahaha, big vocabulary for a pajarito."

The plague doctor swept his hand beneath his cloak to pull something from his belt, showing a brief array of deadly potions and terrible vials of death as he brandished one before Kevin. Sickening pink fluid like melted skin dripped and oozed within itself inside a small tube stopped by a cork as Plague Knight grazed his beak against the scientist.

"THIS...is a little thing I call component powder. Just one burst of this and I can melt your face if I so choose. You will not die, trust me...but you will wish I had ended you when I show half of your SKULL to the world forever!"

"Pfft. So what?"

"Huh!?"

"I come from Mexico, pajarito. You really think I'm going to be scared of a bomb, that's not even a firecracker to me."

To further show his disdain Kevin lifted his leg gently to boot Plague Knight in the stomach, sending him back to a stumble and almost dropping his vial of pink volatile fluid.

"G-G-GUH...GAAAAAARGH!"

He resisted the urge to crack his beak-tipped staff across the medic's face, snarling beneath his bird mask with a frantic breathing until he stomped off in a rage. Trampling through the sheet door he entered the steel hangar to gaze upon the mechanical marvels of his new companion, standing amidst the clamouring black-suited imps that squabbled, pulled and hoisted machines across the floor. The plagued fiend walked towards the ringleader of the operation, a man overtowering him in a blue cloak.

"How long until this thing is ready?!" he squawked.

"This will be finished today," said the tall man, "both this AND Bomberman will be finished today!"

"Don't forget MY enemy as well mister Mujoe!"

"Course I won't forget!"

The man turned towards the doctor with shimmering horn-rimmed glasses of neon pink, puffing his chest out proudly as his biceps almost overshadowed the black-cloaked cohort. His hand swooped down like a vulture on a lion cub.

"You have been a GREAT assistance to me mister Plague, and I'll make sure you're rewarded-"

The doctor smacked his staff against the muscular wrist inches from his head.

"I do not care about rewards because I am not your puppy, I simply care that you exterminate that knight for me and ALLOW me to continue my experiments in peace!"

"You got a short fuse or sumthin'?!"

"WHAT did you call me?!"

"Lissen, doc," Mujoe put his hands out like a businessman, "you might have all the bombs but I'M the one with the bigger army and I got THIS bad boy ready to go."

"Quality beats quantity good sir, my minions do possess SOME talent!"

"We got you close to Bomberman didn't we?!"

"Yes...indeed."

The doctor walked off to the closest machine part, an enormous leg he tapped on with his staff derisively.

"There is something...less intimate about these wires and electric currents that gears and steam possess more richly."

"What do I look like, a clockmaker?! THIS," Mujoe slammed his fist upon the steel, "is the finest-quality armour I ever stole, this stuff is what they build SHIPS out of!"

"And you expect me to implement my chemical expertise into THIS monstrosity?!"

"You got the juice, I got the brutes!"

"HAH!" scoffed Plague Knight. "Hhhaha well that is certainly true-"

"HEY WATCH IT!"

He turned towards two of his white-faced minions that were struggling to carry a control panel.

"YOU BREAK THAT PIECE OF SCRAP I'LL MAKE YOU AN EXPERIMENT FOR THIS DOCTOR, GOT IT?!"

The bandits squeaked with fearful grimace and hurried off with tighter grips on the portable computer before turning back towards Plague Knight.

"So how's the hostage?" asked Mujoe. "Givin' you any trouble?"

"I already deciphered his notes," replied the doctor, "a simple explanation of polysulfides in the rock and plant matter your goons gathered."

"This stuff really gonna work?!"

"Obviously we cannot contain it in your machine, but it will serve as an excellent addition to my repertoire, heeheehee!"

"So what are you adding to my Dock Bomber?" snarled the mechanic with hulking arms crossed.

"Paaaaatience," the fiend tapped his washboard stomach, "I have already devised a most fiendish concoction as armaments for your machine, something that will cripple your enemies' minds to become COMPLETELY helpless before you."

"Does this stuff kill 'em?!"

"OHOHOHO nooooo, nooo no no, what's the fun in such a quick death?! I enjoy seeing our enemies writhe in agony apoplectic, eeHEEhehehee."

"Woah...jeez yer one sick doctor!" cried Mujoe cheerfully.

"Why thaaaank you!" squealed Plague with formal curtsy. "And you are most wicked a machinist. Right, I am off to see the new developments for my guarding sanctum."

"First line o' defence right?!"

"Hopefully the ONLY line of defence you will need so you can save that beast for our eventual world-conquering."

The doctor skipped his way towards another door in a lighter mood at the opposite end of the hangar bay. Meanwhile his minions were continuing his work in the makeshift laboratory cave, shifting between alchemical aberrations and complex chemistry whilst poring over Kevin's stolen notes. The human medic sighed and shifted himself with fingers plucking at his restraints idly beneath the watchful eyes of two cloaked minions.

"Soooooo what do you two do?"

They said nothing but gave a look to him.

"I mean, I thought you would be helping with the lab, you're just guarding me instead?"

Still nothing. One of them smacked his beaked lips.

"Is this really what you wanted to do? Just guarding a man who has fake legs so he can't run away?"

They looked down at his legs, seeing nothing out of the ordinary as he gestured his head nodding.

"Go on, look, totally fake, I won't run, not like I can when you're all in here."

The guards carefully pulled up his trouser legs to confirm they were indeed two steel appendages that started below the fleshy thigh. They looked at each other curious on what to do as Kevin implied:

"I'm just surprised that your boss never told you, I mean if I could just get up I could totally walk my way out of here the moment you guys left on a lunch break or something, it would be so easy to stop me if you just took off my legs."

"N-no," muttered one of them, "I'm...SURE he said something-"

"No," said the other, "no he didn't."

"What?"

"I remember nothing he said about this hostage having false legs."

"Wh-what do we do then?!"

Both of them looked down again, bending their bodies down to peer at his connecting joints as the first guard suggested:

"We'll have to take them off him."

"What?!" stammered his friend. "No, Ribose we can't do that!"

"Why not?!"

"It...i-it's not right, it's like taking a blind man's cane!"

"Oh come on Adenine, he's a hostage!"

"He's also a disabled man, can we just leave him like this?!"

"No, you heard what he said he could run off at any time!"

"He's tied up...wait, YES, we just tie up his legs!"

"Naaah that won't work," said Kevin frowning, "I can just take my legs off to slip the rope off them and then reattach them again to walk out."

"What no you can't!" challenged Ribose.

"You really think I can't? How many hostages have you taken with prosthetic legs?"

"I-i-i, you, your hands are tied up!"

"I don't need hands to take my legs off, I can unclasp them right now."

"Fine, prove it then!"

"Naaaah," Kevin shrugged.

"Why not?!" cried Adenine.

"Cuz then you'll take them off me, you know how much these things cost to make, this is my salary!"

"Oh for the love of-ohhhh we can't do this!"

The guard called Adenine scrunched his sleeves against his face, mumbling despairing words to himself as he walked in a circle like a confused penguin.

"Come on pull yourself together," barked Ribose.

"I'm not trained for this!" cried Adenine. "I wanted to work with toxins not deal with hostages!"

"Well I wanted to run an apothecary but this is the life we chose!"

"Really?" asked Kevin. "You wanted to run a pharmacy?"

"No, an APOTHECARY, are your ears disabled too?!"

"DON'T TALK TO HIM LIKE THAT!" shouted Adenine.

"HE'S OUR HOSTAGE YOU SIMPLETON, HE HAS NO RIGHTS!"

"H-he's still a person you treat him with respect!"

"Oh I am SO sorry!" Ribose clasped his chest with a mocking whimper. "To think I have offended the feelings of the man we kidnapped for our own criminal gains!"

"Do you want us to go back on the seminar?!" said Adenine grabbing his friend's sleeve. "The only reason we had to go was because Cation kept making passes at madame Mona and miss Saline and we ALL had to go and learn about sensitivity in the workplace, and the boss was not happy about it, you know what happened to Cation?!"

"I don't care about that douche-"

"He was SKINNED ALIVE and turned into BEDSHEETS!"

Ribose pulled himself from his fellow guard with a sneering disbelief, shaking his head with a shake of his sleeve.

"N-n-no, no tha-that's just an office rumour!"

"I went to our boss' room when I was on laundry duty, I KNEW it was Cation."

"H-how do you know, was his FACE on the sheets?!"

"No, because you know how he always ate those snozzberry candies?"

"Ugh, lord those awful things he would just suck on every day in the lab-"

"Guess what those sheets smelt like, and what stains I found on them?! Snozzberry candy!"

"Wha-ju-n-no, no the boss surely must have had them!"

"He NEVER eats snozzberry, Cation offered him once and he just smacked his hand demanding he never bring one of those disgusting sweets anywhere near him!"

The guards became very nervous and quiet all of a sudden. Ribose shuddered with a fearful premonition as he leaned against the wall and groaned clasping his stomach. Kevin was not sure how this conversation ended up here, but he turned towards them shifting slightly in his ropes.

"Sounds like your boss is really terrible."

"D-d-don't, say anything!" stuttered Ribose.

"No no hey, it's cool, I'm sorry I did not realise you two were under such stress."

"S-sorry I...no it...I'm sorry about the comments I made about you."

"Ehhh it's fine I've heard much worse. What are your names?"

"Ribose and Adenine."

"I'm Kevin. I'd shake your hands but I'm a little tied up at the moment."

"I-it's fine, heh...do you want some water?"

"Ehhhh that would be nice yes."

"We should probably get him water," replied Adenine with a nervous rub to his shoulder, "make sure he stays alive and all."

"I would appreciate that," said Kevin emphatically, "so you said before that, you wanted to work with toxins?"

"Uh, yeah actually I was...I was training to be a medic."

"Huh, why'd you end up here?"

"I...I-i don't know honestly." The young guard Adenine rubbed his neck feverish with shame. "I just...I-i took a class in studying toxins, then I helped this one guy with some chemistry homework and he said he was in this group and...next thing I know I'm working for the Plague Knight."

"Sounds like a terrorist organisation to me, you should quit."

"N-no! No he h-he never lets anyone leave!"

"Well my friends are coming to stop him, maybe I can arrange something."

"What sort of something?" asked Ribose standing up from the wall.

"Well," replied Kevin rubbing his cheek on an itchy shoulder, "I could tell my friends not to hurt you, say you surrender, you looked after me and we take good care of you."

"How can we trust you?"

"And where would we go?!" added Adenine.

"Well I have a lab," said Izquierda, "maybe after all this you two could...come work with me?"

The guards looked at each other with growing nerves and creeping fingers in their sleeves, the prospect of even leaving the Plague Knight's services hitherto unthinkable as Kevin added:

"Doesn't just HAVE to be you, any of your friends could come."

"Wh-why would you offer that?!" said Ribose stomping his foot.

"Because you guys know chemicals, I saw you deciphering my notes, you're clearly talented! I could always use some help in the lab."

"What do you do then?"

"I recycle materials. Waste, paper, bullets, plant matter, anything that can be reused to keep our base running, plus I am also the chief medic."

"Recycle?" asked Adenine stroking his beak. "Hmmmmm...I-i-i don't know I-"

"Just saying, if you want to leave this guy cuz he's a bad boss, I can offer you a much better life."

They gave no reply to this, stammering nervously before they walked off briefly to confer quietly to each other. Kevin grinned to himself, shifting his weight to ease his rump on the hard stone floor as he waited for the eventual rescue that would come. Dissent among the ranks would aid his friends hopefully, plus he would enjoy seeing the pint-sized perpetrator get cut down to size even moreso soon. Nobody fucked with his people.