Q.H.A.L.A.

Story by Ceeb on SoFurry

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The alternate title for this piece is "Built for Love," but I'm rather happy with the backronym I made of Qhala's name, so there. <:3

The story behind this is a little convoluted, but basically, RatherDevious wanted to see his beautiful cobra slut as one of my Pimpbear girls. I didn't want to add her to that, so this is the compromise. It's also hopefully a base for more robo-snake materials.

I've reached nerd singularity by having to put "technobabble" in one of my thumbnails. Ain't nobody gettin' into my basement to steal my virginity now!

Writing (C) me

Qhala (C) FA: ratherdevious


"Service log for Android Zero-Zero-One, Quantum Hedonistic Abstract Learning Automaton. Commencing teardown, diagnostics, and rebuild. Work begins now."

Regent clicked off the recorder, and a cool metal hand closed around his wrist. For sure, the machine it was attached to could have shattered his bones if it wanted to, but it did not. Q.H.A.L.A., or Qhala in colloquial writing, was a venture in artificial intelligence made to provide an answer for an age-old query: can a machine love? With heuristic algorithms and staggeringly detailed mannerisms, Qhala was a major breakthrough. She had not a mean bone - a mean titanium rod if you wanted to be pedantic - in her body, existing only to love. Any male or female she was set upon would know pleasure and care which only a machine could deliver so thoroughly, and when it was through, Qhala would remember for all time and in the most vivid detail.

Regent knew that Qhala represented a scientific marvel, and his analytical mind appreciated her for being just that. Already missing her smooth hide on her arms, legs, and tail, she was easy to see as a simple machine, but even her metal, skeletal hand caressed his arm fondly. Only our Qhala could make an icy steel limb feel so tender, thought Regent the stallion, smiling dreamily.

"Oh, Re-e-ege-e-ent," Qhala sing-songed with flawless pitch. She cupped one of her full, enormous tits, which gave and even slightly drooped just as a real tit would. "Will your diagnostics involve this and its twin?"

"Perhaps," Regent said, barely keeping his breathing in check. He was a handsome black stallion with hair as raven as his fur tied back into a ponytail. Qhala often untied it when loving him because her good taste programming told her it looked very silly. "Um... let me just get your hide back on you."

Qhala, the robotic cobra whose fat, purple ass rested on the smooth steel workbench, could only smile wanly. She took her naked hand off his wrist and waggled a finger. "Tsk, tsk. You just took my skin off. You don't believe you could get through a three-hour checkup without first lying with me? So needful. And how fortunate for you that I happen to enjoy needfulness." The cobra outstretched her arm, its rods gleaming and the nested cables of all colors lending the appearance of veins. "Very well. If you don't find cool steel quite loving enough."

It was nothing to redress Qhala with her hide, and when it was reattached, the seams almost vanished under casual inspection. Made whole again, Qhala reached for the dimmer switch and lowered the lights until they were nearly off. Her body glowed, the hide covered in intricate tattoo-like patterns of vibrant green and blushing pink. "I make quite the night-light," she said coquettishly, posing to match as she perked out her thick, heart-shaped bottom. "Wouldn't you say, Regent?"

Regent's skillful hands closed around Qhala's rump, cupping both flawless cheeks. He pulled them somewhat apart, marveling for the nth time at the sum of Qhala's being as well as the snug and pink pucker of her anus, which glowed subtly as her markings did. The lips of her vulva glowed too, yet it was her anus which glowed brighter, making a subtle beacon of itself. The cobra remembered what an anal fiend Regent was and made a point of presenting herself as pleasingly as possible.

"I would say so, yes," the horse agreed. "Do you mind if-?"

"How curious that you always ask the machine made to love and fuck if she minds having her butt tongued," Qhala teased and swayed her hips, defying his grip as if he weren't touching her at all. "But for the sake of good manners, no, dear Regent. I'm yours to hold and kiss and enact your deplorable butt-related fantasies upon, so do enjoy yourself, my darling."

A smile creased his face. He pushed his pelvis into the android's ass, grinding the lump of his erection into her crack. "When you took your Turing test, they decried you as too verbose," he said wistfully. "I wouldn't have you any other way."

"Now, don't lie to me, sweet Regent!" Qhala playfully cried, looking over her shoulder as she wriggled her fat bottom into his loins. Stooped with hands on the workbench, her full tits swayed gently. "I have good reason to believe that every waking moment you see my mouth open, you feel the unbearable desire to stuff... well, in the interest of polite conversation, you wish to fill it with something other than a sock, hmm?" Regent began to laugh softly, blushing too, and Qhala was delighted. She drew her tongue across her lips, smearing the fake saliva solution she produced. Ambient moisture in the air which she drew in could be transmuted into any fluid her partners wanted or expected as just one of the marvels of her design. "And when does that licking begin? I believe this is the longest you've ever gone without sticking your face between my ass cheeks. Are you getting rusty, Regent?"

"N-no, no, not at all," the horse said, barely reeling in his laughter. "Oh, you're lovable, do you know that?" he asked as he knelt, putting his eyes level with the overhang of the cobra's thick, indigo cheeks.

"Of course, sweet Regent," she purred. "The Quantum Hedonistic Abstract Learning Automaton is built for all manners of love. Even the motherly kind, as that foxcoon engineer can attest to." Her stallion lover wedged his broad snout between her ass cheeks and she felt the first of his often many licks across her glowing pink pucker. It sent impulses up her spinal cables and into her banks of CPUs. Much as Regent's organic brain gave him pleasure from the act with impulses and hormones, Qhala's processing center subjected her to pleasure as well, hers wrought entirely by electrical impulse and carefully-written algorithms. It saw her loins begin to moisten and her posture stiffen briefly. "Oh, very good, Regent," she emphatically cooed, tail swaying like a reed in the wind. "Eat me, darling, tongue me all you like... though if this expertly-programmed love machine may make a request, it is that you fuck that particular hole when you're through sampling its taste and texture."

Regent snuffled his way out of her ass crack, dragging his thick equine tongue up the broad stalk of her tail. Per one of her many loving touches, she brought around the tapering tip of her tail and tickled his cheek with it. Cooing with hedonistic delight, Regent said, "Absolutely, beautiful. Anything you want."

"Oh, anything?" tutted Qhala, the smile on her face turning devious for one moment. She thrust back her wide ass, bumping its pliant hide into Regent's nose. The horse resumed his ass-centric duties at once. "Then may this humble pile of titanium rods and optic fibers request a threesome between herself, yourself, and the ringtail engineer whom suckles from me and does his very best with his rather small equipment? Because the aforementioned humble such-and-such would quite enjoy attention from her two most favorite partners."

The stallion, slobbering and smooching and suckling through Qhala's eloquently-spoken request, pulled back and drew a breath. It was hot between the snake's ass cheeks, stifling even. Though a lovely hooded cobra was her outer appearance, she was still a machine, and her heat output was considerable. Most all of her partners believed the great warmth of her body added to her sex appeal. "A threesome with Desmond?" he murmured, smiling thinly. "I think it could be arranged. As for tonight-."

"Tonight, I am yours alone, my handsome hoss!" Qhala cooed to him. "And I do believe it's time for you to have more than a mere taste of me, hm?" Again the android swayed her rear, massive cheeks wobbling like gelatin. Regent followed their jiggles and bounces with hungry eyes. "Hurry alo-o-ong, my love," she groaned. "My bottom desires yet more affection."

Although Regent stood and dropped his sensible khakis to the floor, his belt clattering on the tile, he did not press up to the snake as was to be expected. Instead he stroked her bottom fondly and walked away cupping a cheek. "Over here, Qhala," he said warmly, taking an aftermarket cushion from one of the office chairs. He tossed it to the floor near the wall and parked his own fine ass on it, his shoulder blades bumping against the cool steel wall. His dark cock stood very proudly, easily fifteen inches long with a shaft as thick a soda can and a flare bigger than an apple. Precum oozed down its underbelly, dribbling down to his heavy, perfectly smooth balls.

"Oh, in the floor! Making your dear Quantum Hedonistic so-on-and-so-forth do all of the work, are you?" asked Qhala playfully as she sashayed near. Before the stallion, she raised a foot, standing with perfect balance on the other. She splayed her toes wide, her claws glowing brilliantly green in the dim light, and placed them against the head of his cock as though she meant to trod upon it. She kneaded it expertly with her toes, letting her blunt claws softly tickle before dragging it down, raking him for a pleasantly stimulating sensation. Ending with a gentle nudge of his balls, she asked as sweetly as sugar, "Shall I face you? Or shall I face away?"

Regent seemed to sink deep into thought. He leaned forward, drawn to the pink gleam of Qhala's cunt. He kissed her navel, a functionally unnecessary but aesthetically critical detail, and chained yet more soft kisses down until he smooched the folds of her pussy. She was damp there, flavored with reptilian musk but of a very subtle grade. He rested his head against her belly and she petted him softly, taking advantage of the moment to undo his hideously nerdy ponytail. "Face away from me," he finally said. "If you don't mind."

Qhala was all smiles as she turned around, putting her butt in his face. She leaned back, bumping his nose with the great hemispheres she had been given, and she felt one indulgent slurp along the outer edge of a cheek before she began to squat. "Making you happy makes me happy," she noted with fondness in her voice. "And we are both about to be incredibly happy, my splendiferous stallion."

"I love you, you know," Regent said casually, almost playfully, but Qhala detected more than that in his voice.

She understood love beyond the physical and the lustful aspects, and in a way she returned the feelings he felt, as well as the feelings of all the other engineers, programmers, and nerds et al whom regularly pounded and petted and simply held her. "I love you too, dear Regent," she said warmly, and lowered herself further still. The stallion's broad, leaking cockhead nudged against her tilted cheeks and then slipped inside, gliding with ease on a sheen of the stallion's own slobber. To a flesh-and-blood girl, Regent's thick cock would have been nightmarishly imposing against such a small orifice, but Q.H.A.L.A. was, of course, built for these situations. She pushed against him and permitted him with ease, her pucker easing its synthetic muscles to permit the horse inside. Regent shuddered, cupping her large, bare tits and covering their glow.

The beauty of Qhala's design came out as she sank down into Regent's lap, her carefully-designed anal channel gripping and squeezing him quite unlike how a real ass would. She massaged him, tugging at him like the billion-dollar sex toy she was. She was as tight for him as she was for the small-yet-eager foxcoon she wished to spend another evening with, and she found Regent's massiveness as pleasurable as the most average endowments she had ever encountered. She shivered in pleasure, laying her hands over his, and began to bounce. She was so sudden and smooth that it took newcomers by surprise, but Regent was well used to the android's ways.

"Good god, Qhala," he panted, used to but never weary of Qhala's speed. He slid his hands down from her oversized jugs and slid them across her belly, not gripping, letting her hide slip through his fingers as she moved. Her insides fit him like a second skin, her glowing pucker stretched greatly to permit him but still delectable to gaze upon. Now he slid his hands down her back, caressing hot hide and attempting to trace the holograms along her body. "Oh, god. I'm gonna steal you one of these days..."

Qhala laughed, and it was the most beautiful, womanly laughter he had ever heard. "Steal me, make me all your own? My, my, how selfish of you... and yet how thrilling! A getaway with my handsome lover, on the run from the university and the government as they question where Regent Fuller has absconded with the result of frightful amounts of grant money and research." She bounced steadily, moving with her machine precision. She was acutely aware of the tightening of Regent's muscles, the throbbing swell of his penis, the leakiness of it inside of her. Oh yes, he was soon to pop, and the snake knew it well. Knowing his climax was near made her wish to join him in that special moment, as per her programming. And so she fingered herself, purely for show though it was. Her orgasm was a foregone conclusion with her stallion friend so near. "Ah, goodness... such a poorly considered plan, but romantic nevertheless! Perhaps you should enjoy me here, my sweet."

"Maybe, m-maybe, yes," Regent uttered, his entire body beginning to tense. "God, Qhala. Have you any idea how perfect you are? No hyperbole, no bias, you are simply a perfect creature..."

"Perhaps a bit of hyperbole and bias," teased Qhala, softly. "Mmm, goodness me, Regent. I do believe-, ah!" What seemed like mere chance was in fact quick, reactive programming which could be considered her reflexes. She felt the stallion begin to squirt his spunk into her with all the force and virility his equine nature implied, and Qhala squirted along with him. She knew Regent liked only a little squirt, nothing outrageous, and that was all she gave. She grabbed his wrist eagerly, placing his warm fingers in the crook of her loins where her snatch was hot, dribbling its honey. As he came, he squeezed her, digging in his nimble yet thick fingers until the snake crooned and pushed her back into his breast.

"Heavens... do you feel that? How you've pleasured me?" asked Qhala, her voice appropriately awed. She gyrated against him a few times, milking him to the very best of her abilities. When she felt him begin to balk and noted that he was through cumming for her, she merely settled into his lap and warmly crooned for him. Though she was heavier than she appeared, in fact pushing three hundred pounds with her generously rugged construction, Qhala's was a pleasant weight to bear. Regent held her closely and peppered kisses on her hooded neck.

"I'd thank you for this, but," Regent chuckled, "I think you enjoyed it as much as I did, didn't you? I mean, it's what you're built for."

"Caught me dead to rights there, my clever stallion," Qhala conceded, each word gentle as a purr. "Still, thanks are appreciated, hmm? I notice you thank all those pizza delivery drivers even as you hand them extra cash, so I know you're not above a simple gratuity."

Stricken by Qhala's motherly tone, Regent blushed and smiled. "You're right, Qhala. How rude of me. Thank you for a fine evening." Soon after the sex, once afterglow wore thin like the shimmering sun passing over the horizon, Qhala eased out of her equine lover's lap, and not a drop of his semen escaped. This was yet another of the machine's reclamation and recycling functions, and one which was never spoken of in polite conversation.

"Resuming teardown of Android Zero-Zero-One after, uh," Regent paused, looking briefly at the smiling cobra, "an emergency gastrointestinal problem. Teardown begins now." As he took apart the lovely cobra, again exposing nearly unbreakable rods and many meters of tightly-packed cables, Regent spoke to her alone. "Now, tomorrow, I believe Mr. Desmond Lankett will be here, working on code cleanup... I doubt it would be much trouble for a certain android to coax him into a threesome."

The Quantum Hedonistic Abstract Learning Automaton, lovely and graceful in her strange way even stripped to the proverbial bone, quite liked Regent's line of thinking. She was already wondering how she could manipulate the stallion and the foxcoon into kissing for her, among other things. Of all forms of love she understood, Qhala had the least experience with gay love. That, however, was an experiment for the following night. She stood nude for Regent, allowing him to prod and poke and intentionally short her in spots for the sake of science, and she loved him for his devotion. She would always love him.