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We hadn't been taken back to campus, I don't know why. I sat in a waiting room of the military hospital we had been brought to. The rest of the squad had gone to bed in the bunks that we had been provided. I couldn't sleep though. As far as I knew, Jessica was still out cold. Teague had tried to talk to me, but I had mostly ignored him. I knew I should be happy, but I couldn't quit thinking about that one mistake. I felt someone put a hand on my shoulder. I started and turned around. It was Jessica.

"Hey Kirian, mind if I sit with you?"

It was the first time she had ever used my first name.

"Sure."

She sat in one of the chairs next to me and smooted the fir on one of her arms.

"How do you feel?"

"Fine, I was a little disoriented when I came too. The doctor said I yelled something about getting to the chopper." She laughed softly.

I felt sick. How could she sit here and talk to me.

"Look, it wasn't your fault. We all wanted to get out of there as fast as we could."

I didn't say anything. I knew she was trying to make me feel better, but I couldn't tell if she meant it.

"Tank told me what you did after I was shot. That was quick thinking."

"I started thinking too late."

"No one blames you for what happened. If anything, they respect you even more, I know I do."

"What have I done to deserve that?"

"You lead us to become the first squad in seven years to complete that. No squad in seven years has ever made it out with fewer than two casualties."

"Makes you wonder about some the people out there leading our troops."

"That exercise is developed to be a learning experience. Win or losse everyone who goes through it comes out better than those who chose not to. It's not meant to be completed. They set you up to fail."

"And I'm supposed to be proud because I didn't!"

"No, you're supposed to be proud because you led your team to win in a no win situation."

I didn't respond to this. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how my squad members could still trust me.

"I know you feel like you don't deserve it but, I will follow you anywhere, and I know the rest of the squad feels the same way."

She got up and started walking to the bunk room.

"Jessica!"

She stopped and turned around. I got up, walked over to her and looked her in the eyes.

"I will never let it happen again."

"I know."

She left me standing there. I didn't go my bed but turned and went back to the chair I had been sitting in. She had made feel better. I didn't want to admit it because I still hated myself. I fell asleep alone out in the waiting room.