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The Other Place

Its an interesting smell,

a dentist's office,

I am half-awake,

aware of what going on around me,

but oblivious to any pain.

I weakly try to move,

knowing all too well that the anesthesia has done its work,

even my red tail and my mouth

that were always moving about

were dormant.

He made me do this,

My beautiful and dumb lynx,

he metaphorically made this dentist appointment happen,

I didn't blame him,

I can be a bitch sometimes

Out of the corner of my eye,

I glimpse the dentist walk in,

he was wearing a plastic poncho,

underneath was the usual dentist garb,

"Weird," I thought.

As the dentist walked around,

his tail moved back and forth happily,

just like mine would do,

if it wasn't paralyzed,

if I wasn't stuck her on the dentist chair.

My boyfriend said we need some space,

that meant 300 miles to him,

for some reason I was the one who moved,

my hazel eyed lynx may be sexy,

but I need to stop calling him my boyfriend.

The border collie dentist approaches me,

he greeted me personally when I walked in,

The collie was nice enough,

As were his teeth,

but I couldn't shake this small feeling of unease from the pit of my stomach.

It was the same feeling I'd get,

when Dan would be out late on the weekend,

I'd get this odd sense in my stomach,

That as I was sitting at home,

He was with flirting, kissing, and fucking another guy.

The dentist's secretary seemed off as well,

she was all smiles and nothing else,

like the woman in a horror film,

who invite you into her house,

then five minute later reveals her torture chamber in the basement.

I know I watch too many horror films,

or at least I used to with Dan,

and I don't like to judge,

so I shut my ever churning mind off,

and close my eyes.

I feel a paw slide something over my muzzle,

my eyelids flutter open to see the dentist,

putting a gas inhaler over my muzzle,

I start to drift,

seconds later my heavy eyelids close.

It is imperative what I set in those last few seconds,

the secretary appears by the dentist's side,

she is holding a sharp dagger in one paw and a clipboard in another,

the dentist takes the knife

And I fade finally into blackness.

It's a dreamless cosmic sleep,

the kind everyone wants,

but nobody gets,

When I wake up,

I feel out of place.

It's dark and smells damp,

I can see anything,

in fact it looks like the blackens stretches into oblivion,

I realize I can set myself,

I'm completely naked.

I don't feel a temperature at all,

nothing hurts,

I feel no pain,

I call out,

to see if anyone is hiding in the blackness.

Silence is my answer,

Am I dead,

is this really it,

my paw absentmindedly brushed the side of my abdomen,

and I pull it away immediately.

When my paw touched my torso,

it felt like I was dipping it in water,

Cold, icy water,

I looked down,

to find my same vulpine body.

If I was really dead,

what would my family do,

what would Dan think,

would he miss me,

No come this is just a dream.

I suddenly became transfixed by a red slash,

that had appeared right in the middle of my chest,

then another on either side of my back,

another and another,

until my fur was striped with deep slashes in my skin.

I tried to walk,

and found I could just fine,

the ground beneath me felt like a glass pane,

ready to break at any moment,

my paws treaded lightly.

My black dipped paws were outstretched,

looking for a wall or some obstruction,

I had walked for what seemed like hour until I came to a revelation,

I was dead,

and there's nothing to do about it.

I stood, hunched over, eye brimming with tears,

how did this happen,

at a dentist office of all places,

I couldn't feel my tears,

I couldn't feel anything now.

My eye shut,

if this was how it was going to end,

I wanted it to be over with,

for my existence at whatever this place was to end,

to end forever.

Just as I was about to sit down and ponder,

I saw a light ahead in the darkness,

Miniscule and far away,

I stood tall and filled with hope walked toward it.

It felt like mere moment and I was there,

like I had jumped ahead in time,

I was at a desk,

it was crude on it was a piece of paper,

on the paper there was a tidy scrawl.

It read:

write the name of the person you love,

I wiped tears from my eyes with a paw,

my other paw suddenly held a pen,

I wrote down his name.

The note suddenly burst into flames,

then I was standing in an apartment I was unfamiliar with,

I looked down to find I was still naked and cut up,

I run a paw through the fabric of the couch in front me

that's when I notice the picture.

It's a portrait of Dan,

yet I'm nowhere to be seen,

instead he's holding the paw of a blue eyed dalmatian,

I start to sob again,

then I hear a door open

I hear people approaching,

I wish my numbness could extend to my emotions,

as my heart is broken,

Dan come into the room first,

followed by who must be the dalmatian from the portrait.

Dan's paw are on his belt,

the dalmatian already has his pants,

halfway down,

I feel such utter despair,

and I fall to my knees

Nobody is there to comfort me,

I kneel there as if praying,

for this all to end,

then I realize where I am,

and I panic.

-Kiah Z.