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When I look back at that particular day in my life, I can't help but to think that's where it all started. During those moments shared together, I had all I ever wanted within my reach. But most importantly, I was surrounded by everyone I needed. No longer was it necessary for me to question what it was. I didn't felt the need to put a label on it anymore... Because doing so might make it seem easier to accept things the way they are but truth is, it can only complicate things more than they already were. And I wasn't denying it anymore. Was it love? Was it a way to bond and strengthen our friendships? Or perhaps even lust? I honestly didn't know. In fact, I never knew what it really was. All I knew was that I needed them to give in to it and yet it still wasn't enough for me... It was difficult putting up a straight face whenever the three of us were together in the same room, knowing that I've been intimate with both Samantha and Blain. And now that both of them knew about one another, I was worried that things would only get more complicated. Sam and Blain took it very well once the truth came out and didn't seem to be shaken up by the fact that I've slept with both of them. But they may as well have tried to ignore that they have, just so that things wouldn't get awkward between the three of us. But even though they could ignore it, I knew I wasn't able to anymore...

At night, things changed whenever I shared my bed with either Samantha or Blain... Throughout the day, the three of us were like any other group of friends, doing whatever friends do. That Sunday afternoon, we went to the beach once the weather cleared up around midday. And at around six o'clock, we had dinner at one of the many restaurants scattered on Gainsborough Boulevard. After which, we went for a drink at O'Malley's, reminiscing the good old times and had a good laugh or two. It seemed as if things hardly changed between us over the years and we simply picked up where we left off. We came home at around midnight and Sam and I went straight to bed. But despite having a good time with them, I wasn't comfortable with the idea that I was holding something out on Sam. To me, it didn't felt like I was playing open card with her even though we talked about that earlier. I didn't want to keep things a secret from either of them but instead, it felt as if I was keeping them in the dark once more which is why I went to see Blain that morning. And even though we all chose for this, it didn't felt right knowing that I could choose whom to be with and they couldn't, simply because they didn't had anyone else to turn to. I didn't want to be the only one to do this, switching between partners whenever I felt the need for it. I didn't want them to restrict to me and I shouldn't have been the only one to be presented that choice when they accepted me for my needs. We've always talked about seeing other people and while that was true for me, both Blain and Samantha didn't have someone of their own to turn to. So I thought of a way to give them something I wasn't able to give. I wanted to give them each other, in every way imaginable...

'O-Oh my god, yes...! Yes, yes...! I'm cumming, Ceylan...! Hah...! H-Hah...! Ah..! A-Ah...! '

One thing that always had me going was to see how Samantha reached her climax... The way her body squirmed all over the place, the way she moaned... Those moments I had with her meant everything to me and I never hesitated to do what she wanted me to do... Even though she had her doubts before, Sam always came back for more while I was more than happy to oblige... But what made it so great was that Samantha was eager to return the favor... And perhaps that's the reason why it worked between us... The moment I looked up from between her legs, her gaze met mine as I gave her one last lick... Her body trembled when I did as Sam tried to catch her breath again... She had her eyes closed and had this huge satisfied smile on her face as she was panting her lungs out... I got up and lied down next to her, caressing her hair and kissing her forehead as I held her close... Sam wrapped her arms around my stomach and leaned against me with her head on my shoulder as it stayed silent for a while... At some point, she looked up and faced me, having a nervous smile on her face as her cheeks turned red...

'Wow, hihi... That was intense... I think I've pulled a muscle...'

'Hehehe...'

'That was awesome...'

'I was planning to return the favor last night but you fell asleep... So I had to make up for it...'

'You need to skip out on me more often...'

'Nah, I don't think so...'

'Hihi... Hm... I've only been here for two days but it feels like I've never left...'

'It's been great so far...'

'Absolutely... I don't want to go back at the end of the week but I'll have to...'

'You shouldn't be thinking of that now... We still have a whole week ahead of us...'

'I know but it's just... The last two days here in Ravello made me realize how much I missed home...'

'It's not all that bad at university, is it...?'

'No, of course not... But at times, I just really miss being here and I get homesick when I'm there... I miss being around you guys... But above all, I really missed being with you...'

'I've missed you too... So all the more reason to make the most of your stay here...'

'Absolutely... I'm just kind of worried when the new semester starts...'

'Why...?'

'A lot of new faces... Most of the people I know have graduated so... It's like I'll have to start all over again...'

'You mean making new friends...?'

'... Yeah.'

'You're good with people, Sam... You'll make friends in no time, you'll see...'

'Heh... People come and go but you and Blain have been around for such a long time that I can't imagine my life without you guys... I just don't want to see my friends leave and never to be heard from again...'

'It just happens, you know...? I mean, look at how many friends we had in high school and now there's just the three of us... People go their separate ways and there's nothing you can do about it...'

'No, I suppose not... David just left without looking back...'

'It still bothers you, doesn't it...? The way you and David broke up...?'

'Sort of... He wanted to go home to his family in Whitby once he graduated... But I just couldn't go with him when I have my life here in Ravello... I'd leave all of my friends and family behind if I did...'

'Was it difficult to make that choice...?'

'Yes and no because I knew that day would come eventually... We talked about it and decided that we had to go our separate ways... We broke up and that's all there was to it... Several days later, he went back home without ever saying goodbye while I stayed behind...'

'Hm...'

'I'd like to think of him as an asshole for doing something like that but that wouldn't be fair towards him... Not saying goodbye made it so much easier for him to go home... But to me, it feels as if those three years we've spent together meant nothing to him... And that hurts even more... So I keep telling myself that I meant nothing to him just to make it easier for me to accept that he's gone and that he'll never come back...'

'Even if that may not hold to any truth...?'

'It's something I'm telling myself in order to move on...'

'You'd never know for sure if all of it meant anything to him...'

'Which is why it's best that I forget he ever existed simply because I'll never get an answer to that...'

'It just sounds so cold to forget... I mean, when Nikki and I broke up, I tried to do the same but I never managed to... Instead, I got caught up in all of it once more... And I'm not sure if it does more harm than good to me...'

'Is that why you're seeing other people...?'

'Is that why you're seeing me now...? To forget about David...?'

'No, it's not... David was like you in many ways, you know... And maybe that's why I loved him so much simply because he reminded me of you...'

'Except he wasn't me...'

'In most ways he was...'

'Hm...'

It stayed silent for a while Sam was staring ahead in blank space... She gently fondled my hair and I heard her sigh quietly... But the moment I looked down on her and caressed her cheek, she faced me and gave me a kiss on my cheek...

'Heh... I meant it when I asked you, Ceylan...'

'Asked me what...?'

'If I ever was considerate enough about your feelings...'

'How so...?'

'Did it hurt you when I told you that David and I were in love...?'

'It did... But it wasn't my decision to make, it was yours... I just couldn't stand the idea of you being so far away from me... And even if I were close to you, I wouldn't have stand in the way between you and David...'

'Heh...'

'I just wish I could've been a part of it, just as much as you're part of me and Blain now... But you and I were just too far away from each other...'

'I see...'

'You've got every right to see someone else when you allow me to do the same... I won't judge you for it if you would find another... I just hope that when you do, we'd still get to be together, one way or another...'

'I know you want me to make that promise to you, Ceylan but I can't...'

'I know...'

'I mean, the three of us are single and it's all in good fun for now but it will all change one day...'

'I'm just not ready to let go of you just yet... I just can't...'

'And you don't have to... But I just don't want you to cherish false hope for the future when things turn out different than you'd anticipate... And it's likely that it will at some point in our lives...'

'I know... But I just live from moment to moment and cherish everything it brings... Like this moment we have, right now... There's no point about worrying over the future when no one knows what it may bring... So it's best we enjoy it now, because that moment is forever lost once it has passed... And all we'll have is a memory to cherish forever, even when it's long gone... But the most important thing is not to regret to have ever experienced that one moment in your life...'

'It's gone before you know it...'

'Exactly... So all the more reason to savor the best it has to offer us... All the more reason for me to spend time with you and Blain, in more ways than one...'

I've always enjoyed those pillow talks I had with Sam... She was always willing to listen to whatever I had to say or what was on my mind... We had moments where we were just having small talk and joked around... But sometimes, we also had our serious talks, like we had that night... About life, friendship, love and sex... Pretty much everything that came to mind... It seemed if we were seeing each other in a whole different light... As if we became so much more than friends... And that's exactly why it didn't felt right... It's been gnawing on me throughout the day... That I snuck off this morning to see Blain while she was still asleep... Even though both Sam and Blain knew about one another that they've slept with me, it just didn't felt right to do so when the other gets left out... That's what I did that morning... And at that very moment, I left Blain out on us... But like I said; the two of them might've been able to ignore it to avoid making things awkward but I knew I wasn't able to anymore... Looking down on Sam, I saw that she had her eyes closed and had this dreamy little smile on her face as I ran my hand through her hair...

'There's something I need to tell you, Sam...'

'Oh...? What is it...?'

'I snuck off this morning to see Blain while you were asleep...'

'I see...'

'I'm sorry, I didn't know how else to put it... I just had to get it off my chest...'

'We've talked about that, didn't we...?'

'True... But it doesn't feel right knowing that I'm the only one to have that choice...'

'What do you mean...?'

'You and Blain are okay with me seeing one another but I feel that you and Blain should have that choice as well...'

'To see someone else besides you...?'

'Yeah...'

'There's no one else right now so...'

'Do you feel the need to...?'

'I'm not desperately looking for a guy to replace David...'

'No, I mean, more in the way of, you know...'

'You mean sexually...? No, not really...'

'Oh...'

"Needing" it is a bit of an overstatement... Wanting it...? That's a whole different thing... But there's a difference between wanting something and actually doing it... And I just keep balancing between that gray line that separate those two...'

'What do you mean...?'

'Well, there have been several occasions where I've thought about just seeing someone...'

'Really...? To have a one-night stand...?'

'Hm-mm... I've always wondered what it's like ever since you've mentioned it... And there isn't exactly a lack of handsome guys on campus so there are plenty of opportunities...'

'So you'd go for it...?'

'Well, that's the thing... Part of me would really like to but on the other hand, I just, you know...'

'So what makes you doubt...?'

'This one time, there was a party at the frat house I reside in and things got pretty wild once the booze started flowing...'

'Yeah, you mentioned that... What exactly happened...?'

'A bunch of girls were messing around with each other and once the first top was taken off, it didn't take long before others followed their example... And of course, everyone was watching but it didn't really seemed to have bothered them at all... A guy of the football team got stripped down of his jeans and two girls started working their magic on him... And then a whole bunch of others joined in as well...'

'Hehehe...'

'He fucked them both right on the spot while drinking a beer, having the time of his life while he kept making eye contact with me... He was just so sexy and he actually encouraged me to join in but I didn't... Nevertheless, it actually was kind of, you know... Tempting to join in, seeing as everyone else was doing it and not giving a damn...'

'Haha, wow...'

'One of those girls was tagged teamed and another one had a foursome with three guys while me and my friends just stood there, gawping at everything that was happening right in front of us...'

'Must've been quite the sight...'

'It was, yeah... I mean, those girls... They really seemed to enjoy it, especially the one that got plowed by three guys... I mean, I was a little drunk and couldn't really think straight but had enough sense in me to stay out of it... But nevertheless, it did had me wondering... That night while I was in bed, I thought about what would've happened if I actually did let a bunch of handsome guys take good care of me while everyone else was just watching me getting it on... And I really liked what I was imagining... The thought of it hasn't let go of me since...'

'To have a one night stand with a guy...?'

'Yeah...'

'So what's stopping you then...?'

'Hm...?'

'What's stopping you from trying it out...?'

'I'm not gonna have sex with someone in front of a whole bunch of people...'

'Well no, but you can always take a guy you like somewhere more quiet once you're comfortable with the idea...'

'For having a one-night stand...? I suppose but I'm not sure if I could enjoy any of that...'

'How was it whenever you and David were doing it...?'

'It was okay at best, I guess... It wasn't exactly how I imagined it every time we were at it...'

'What about your first time...? Was it everything you thought it would be...?'

'I was actually kind of disappointed when I lost my virginity... I mean, it wasn't all that bad but it didn't blew me away either... It honestly didn't really do much to me...'

'Why was that...?'

'I don't know... It just wasn't how I imagined it would be...'

'Then how did you imagine it...?'

'I expected it to be a one of a kind, unique sensation that would overwhelm every fiber in your body, exploding in unimaginable pleasures with every thrust as he'd take me on a journey of self exploration...'

'... Huh. That's one way to describe it... Very creative...'

'Turned out he was just as clueless about it as I was...'

'Pfff, hahaha...! Was it his first time too...?'

'Yup... I blinked twice and it was over before I knew it... Afterwards, he rolled off me and fell asleep almost immediately...'

'How insensitive... No pillow talks..?'

'Nnnnope...'

'Hm... '

'Come to think of it, David wasn't really all that great and amazing in bed to be honest... We didn't have sex very often but I never dared telling him that he wasn't living up to my expectations... For all I know, my bed performance wasn't all that great either but since we never talked about it, I never knew what he actually thought of me and my performance in bed...'

'It's so very important to talk about it...'

'I know but for some reason, it was very awkward for us to just sit down and seriously talk about it in a mature way... I never felt really comfortable discussing the subject and telling someone what's on my mind in that regard...'

'Have you ever felt that way about me...? Was it awkward for you to say what you wanted to experience...?'

'At first, yeah... But then I realized how much I appreciated you talking to me about it to take the edge of things... And while I was eager to return the pleasure, I had to know what you like and you've always been very mature about it, even if I wasn't...'

'Hehehe...'

'So yeah, I've always felt comfortable talking to you about it... But to other people, it's just, I don't know...'

'Well, obviously, it's not a topic I would discuss over at the breakfast table... There's a time and place for everything, you know...'

'Hehehe...'

'Of course things get awkward when you talk about it but there's nothing wrong sharing your thoughts on the subject with someone... Especially if any of you aren't enjoying it...'

'What about Blain...? Is he sharing his thoughts about it just as much as you are...?'

'Well, yeah... Blain and I think alike on that particular subject... We always have, which is why we're able to make it work between us...'

I stayed quiet once I've said that... But the moment she looked up and faced me, there was this spark of curiosity on her face that I've seen many times over... It was rare for Samantha to discuss her sex-life with people other than me... And over the years, I've told her about my little adventures and just answered truthfully whenever she asked me about it during our serious talks... Even though I was curious about her experiences, it seemed as if she felt it wasn't worth sharing and now I knew why... Her sex-life with David just wasn't worth mentioning at all simply because it was quite dull... But when she looked at me, I knew she had so many questions to ask...

'When I saw you coming out of the shower this morning, I thought you had just woken up...'

'No... I woke up at around eight o'clock this morning, sitting on my window sill and staring outside at the rain, thinking... I went to see him once I saw his parents were going to church...'

'So... You were alone with him...'

'Hm-mm...'

'Aaaaaand...'

'Well, I think it's pretty obvious what we did down there in his basement...'

'... His basement?? He has a sex dungeon??'

'Haha, no, of course not... That's where he's working out and where we occasionally spar against each other... '

'Oooh, I see...'

'No, I mean actual sparring... Training, practicing Taekwondo... Actually trying to hit each other...'

'But I suppose this morning, you weren't there to spar against him...'

'No, not quite...'

'Soooo how was it...? Or is that a little too personal for me to ask...?'

'Hehehe, uhm... Yeah, it was quite good actually...'

'All the way...?'

'Yup...'

'Is he really that good as you always say he is...? I mean, in bed...?'

'Hm-mm... Back when I had the house to myself for three weeks, Blain stayed over one night... It was the first night we've slept together after his two years of absence...'

'After he came back from active duty in Sercia...?'

'Yes... We talked about it once he returned and we both weren't sure if we should... I mean, back then, we were just teens and thought different about it but now, things have changed...'

'But the two of you decided to go through with it...'

'Yeah, eventually... I've missed him a lot and not just as a friend... He was gone for two whole years and once he came back, so did my feelings for him... It was just as strong as the day he left and I realized how much I missed his intimacy... But he wasn't feeling the same at first though... It took a while before we actually did...'

'How so...?'

'Blain felt that he'd take advantage of me for feeling this way about him and slowed me down before I'd do anything either of us might've regret... So instead, we had quite a lot of talks about it before it ever got this far... And that night when he stayed over when I had the house to myself, is when we had sex for the first time in two years... Needless to say, he had a lot of steam to blow off...'

'Oh...?'

'Hm-mm... I got ravaged by him that night...'

'Ravaged...??'

'Yup... In a good way, though... Foreplay was quite extensive and well... We did it four times that night. Ever since then, we started "seeing" each other again...'

'Oh wow... Four times, really...?'

'Hm-mm... It was amazing... But it's been two months since the last we had sex so...'

'Until this morning...'

'Yeah... Until this morning...'

'I see... Wow...'

'You look surprised...'

'You've told me a lot about your little adventures over the years with other women but you hardly ever shared anything when it comes to Blain...'

'I don't want you to get the wrong idea about him... He's amazing in bed but he also treats me with respect and dignity... It might seem meaningless from the outside but to us, it's just so much more... I wasn't sure how he'd feel if I'd tell you all about it, just as much as you wanted things to stay between us for the same reasons...'

'I see...'

'But we all know about it now and, well... You know... I actually feel relieved now that you and Blain know... I just don't want to keep secrets for you guys...'

'I can imagine... I mean, I knew about you and Blain for a while now but he honestly had no clue about us, did he...?'

'Hehehe, nope... I suppose he had his hunches but never knew for sure, since you and I were always neither confirming or denying it...'

'Yeah... That was always fun...'

'How do you feel about that now that he knows...?'

'He's surprisingly cool with it, to be honest... I thought he'd ask all sorts of things but I'm glad he didn't because, you know...'

'Trust me, he'll interrogate us about it at some point...'

'Hehehe...'

'But why...? Would you be uncomfortable with him asking questions about us...?'

'Kind of, I mean... Since you're also seeing him and me telling him how awesome you are in bed just seems inappropriate...'

'You heard his opinion about girl on girl action...'

'Ha..! Yeah... He doesn't seem to mind but still...'

'No, he sure as hell doesn't...'

Sam sighed quietly and rubbed her eyes the moment she let out a big yawn... I just looked at her and wondered how she would respond if I'd ask her... And more importantly, if she would go through with it... But she's hard to read and there was no way of telling if I would be making a mistake if I would pop the question... So I tried to choose my words carefully...

'What do you think of him...?'

'What do you mean...?'

'Exactly as I said... His looks, his personality, everything about him...?'

'Well, he's a nice guy and very sweet... Lot's of fun to be around with...'

'Is it the kind of guy you're attracted to...?'

'Uh... Attracted to...?'

'It's alright... Just be honest...'

'Well, he certainly is a lot more buffed than the last time I saw him four years ago... All that working out really did him well...'

'Do you think he's handsome...?'

'Yeah, I think so... Why do you ask...?'

'Because I saw how you were looking at him when we were at the beach earlier today so I'm just wondering how you feel about him...'

'You think that there's something going on between me and Blain...? B-Because there's nothing going on, I swear, Ceylan...'

'I know... He'd tell me about it if you and him were seeing each other...'

'He would...?'

'Yes... It's just one of our rules to make all of this work... We get to see other people and stay honest to each other about it...'

'Oh, I see...'

'And even if there was something going on between the two of you, I wouldn't mind... I'd rather see him together with you than with some hussy...'

'Heh... You weren't kidding when you said that you and Blain were open about it...'

'Hm-mm...'

'Okay, so... What are you on about, exactly...? What's with all these questions...?'

'I'll get to that but please answer them for me first, okay...? I just want to know how you honestly feel about him in every regard...'

'Yeah, alright...'

'Sooo I know you like him for who he is and the way looks and that's perfectly fine with me but... Would he be the kind of guy you'd be after...?'

'Perhaps... I just never thought of him that way but yeah, I suppose, if he was looking for something more serious and if he'd genuinely be interested in me...'

'Okay and how do you feel about me having sex with him...?'

'Honestly, it's not any of my business, is it...? I mean, If the two of you feel that way about each other, you should just go for it, right...?'

'Yeah but I'd like to know how you feel about it, seeing as you're also having sex with me...'

'Uhm... Well, since you hardly ever went into detail, there's a lot to be left up to my imagination... All I know is, is that you're doing it with him and that it means a lot to the both of you... So I'm not sure how I feel about that but as long as the both of you are happy, then that's all there is to it, right...?'

'Alright...'

'Are you gonna tell me what this is all about because I'd really like to know...'

'Last night, there were a couple of things you said that had me wondering if I'm giving you everything you want but I know I can't... The way you talk about David, that guy you saw fucking some girls at that party... Something just tells me that you're looking for something similar as to what Blain and I are having...'

Sam stayed quiet for another while as I just caressed her hair... These kind of talks are so much easier with Blain simply because Blain is a lot more open about it but Sam is quite shy when it comes to sex... She knows it's not exactly a taboo but I suppose she never really had someone to talk about sex in a serious manner... Usually, when young girls get to explore sex, they ask their mother or their older sister any questions they might have and talk just talk about it but Sam had neither... Her parents are divorced and her mother left them at a young age and being an only child, she had no one else to turn to... Of course her dad was there and even though she told me once that she sometimes talked to her dad about it, they both had a bit of a hard time relating to one another, simply because sex is experienced differently by males... So she turned to me for all these years instead when she wanted to ask me questions or simply just felt the need to talk about it... And even though she's a lot more comfortable to discuss that particular topic with me, she still gets kind of shy and still somewhat considers it to be a taboo to talk about her own personal satisfaction and desires... So it always took a while before she opened up about what was really going on in her mind...

'You always made it sound so easy, Ceylan... I mean, you made things happen for yourself and get to explore it on your own pace with someone who cares so much about you even though you're both not looking for something serious at the moment...'

'That's why it works...'

'I know... But to have heard of your stories and experiences, it kinda makes me wish I had the same, you know...? And what you said last night about that foursome, having regret of not going through with it... I started to think about it myself if I didn't had any regrets...'

'Like what, for example...?'

'I mean, I could've regret joining in that orgy if I did... I could've regret having a one-night stand with a guy if I ever did something like that... But truth is, I don't know if I would regret anything like that, simply because I've never done it before...'

'I see...'

'The thing is, I don't want to regret it afterwards... For all I know, it turns out to be the worst sexual experience I'll ever have... So that's why I never went through with it yet it's something I'd like to try out... I just don't know to make something like that happen if I keep doubting whether or not if it's the kind of thing I really should be doing and if I will regret it or not...'

'What would you expect if something like that would ever go down...?'

'I don't know, to be honest... I just want it to be a pleasurable experience for me considering I hardly ever enjoyed it, seeing as David was the only guy I ever went "all the way" with... '

'Enjoying it is one of the most important things to have...'

'That crossed my mind as well...'

'You said that a lot of things between Blain and me were left up to your imagination... Did you mean that quite literally...?'

'I-I did say that, didn't I...?'

'Yes, you did...'

'Oh god, this is so embarrassing...'

'It's alright, hun... So... Did you ever imagined me and Blain going at it...?'

'I suppose I can't weasel out of this one considering I've already said too much...'

'Hm-mm, you sure did...'

'Uhm... I might've... Are we done with these questions...?'

'Almost... Last night, you also said that everyone has had naughty thoughts about their friends...'

'W-Well, it's true, isn't it...? I-I mean, every guy must've thought about sex with their lady friends at least once in their lives...'

'Does that also work the other way around...?'

'W-What do you mean...?'

'I think you know what I'm implying...'

"Haha, awwww... Look at her face..." The poor thing became so embarrassed by answering all of these questions... She was blushing and her face turned as red as a tomato... She bit her lip and had that nervous smile on her face as she could hardly look at me...

'So... Have you ever had naughty thoughts about Blain...?'

'Oh god, seriously...??'

'Haha, you have, haven't you...?'

'Why am I answering you all of this...?? I still don't know what these questions are for...!'

'Technically, you haven't answered me anything yet but your reaction tells me everytyhing...'

'That doesn't make it any better...! You're not secretly recording all of this and put this up on YouTube, are you...??'

'No sweetheart, nothing's being recorded... But if there was any recording involved, I'd upload the video on Pornhub instead of YouTube...'

'Oh yeah, yeah, that makes me feel sooo much better...'

'Alright, back to the question...'

'Nooooo...'

'Yeeees... Ever had naughty thoughts about Blain...?'

'I would say no but...'

'... But?'

'But then I'd be lying...'

'Hihihi...'

'Oh, you're so terrible...'

'I know... And I suppose trusting someone also plays a decisive factor if you'd ever go that far with someone...'

'Absolutely...'

'So what if I was there too...?'

'What...?'

'Let's just say you found this guy you're really into and you want to have sex with him... Would you be more at ease to know that I would be there as well...?'

'You mean a threesome...?? Us...??'

'Hm-mm...'

'Wow, uh... I-I don't know, to be honest... I suppose it depends on who'd join us...'

'So you'd go for it then...?'

'You're asking me for a threesome...?? Is that what this is all about...??'

'No, not a threesome...'

'Oh, okay...'

'I was wondering how you'd feel if Blain would join us...'

'... What?'

Her reaction was so priceless when I asked her that... It's like her heart skipped a beat and she sat upright, staring at me with wide eyes... She became rather nervous once I started to ask more questions but that last one almost gave her a heart attack, it seemed... And right that very second, I started to doubt if it was the right thing to ask from her...

'B-Blain...?? You serious...??'

'... Yeah?'

'How does that NOT make it a threesome...??'

'A threesome simply implies that all persons get involved with each other one way or another... You and I can interact, Blain and I can interact but no one expects you to interact with Blain... Unless you truly want to...'

'Christ, what the hell, Ceylan... So you asked me all of these questions just to find out if I'd have sex with him in a threesome...??'

'Noooo, I asked you all of these questions to find out how you would feel about it if another person joins in on us...'

'I still don't see how that's any different... Does Blain know you want him to get involved...?'

'He's aware of it... It's one of the things we talked about this morning...'

'Seriously...?? What'd you tell him...?!'

'I simply asked how he would feel if he were to join us...'

'... What did he say?'

'He couldn't imagine you giving in to it...'

'Well, he's got that right...'

And that was the end of it... Sam looked at me while I stared right back at her... And even though she was quite surprised, I couldn't help to think that it somehow sparked her curiosity... She kinda started to panic once I popped the question... It stayed silent for a while until at some point, Sam got up and went to leave for the bathroom... And I thought that she would stay there for another while to think, like she did last night but luckily, she came back after about ten minutes... She sat down on the edge of my bed and looked at me rather confused instead of being upset...

'Why me...?'

'It's because I know you like him...'

'Soooo that automatically means I'd have sex with him...?'

'You keep assuming that but no one expects you to...'

'Blain wouldn't expect that from me either...?'

'No, of course not...'

'I just don't understand, I mean... How do you picture it to go then...?'

'It's simple... You and I would be going at it together while he watches...'

'... And you and him in front of me.'

'Exactly...'

'And that's it...?'

'That's it... Unless you want to experience him as well...'

'Is it something he'd like to happen with me or...'

'I don't know, sweetheart... You'd have to ask him that yourself...'

'Heh...'

'It really took you by surprise, didn't it...?'

'To say the least, yeah...'

'It's perfectly fine if you don't want to... I'm just saying that if you'd like him to join in on us then I definitely wouldn't mind... You'd get to do everything you've ever wanted to do, in a safe and discrete environment where nothing is expected from you... And that goes for all of us...'

'Right... Okay...'

'I just figured that if you'd imagine me and Blain going at it, you would want to watch it happen for real... And if you enjoyed kissing me while he was watching, perhaps you'd also enjoy having sex with me in front of him...'

'Uh-huh...'

'Considering how you feel about having one-night stands...'

'But that doesn't mean I'd go for it...'

'Well, no of course not...'

'I don't know what to expect if I'd give in and I don't know how everything will go which is exactly what kind of scares me...'

'But that's the thing, no one knows how it would go, not even me and Blain... All I know is, is that the three of us would take things real with slow and make sure we're all comfortable with each other if it happens... '

'Heh...'

'Blain has always been looking out for me... He always saw it whenever I wasn't comfortable with something, even when I wasn't saying anything... That's how well he knows me... It wouldn't be any different with you if you'd really like to go that far with him... He'll never do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable... And that's why I don't want to have a stranger involved... That's why I'd rather want it to happen with you instead...'

'I see...'

'After all, it's not about sex... It's about having a great time with each other and make the most of it, just a little different than usual...'

'The thought of it alone makes me nervous...'

'It's alright... It makes me nervous too... Hell, even Blain is nervous by the sheer thought of it...'

'He is...? I didn't imagine him to be...'

'Hm-mm...'

'I've never had a threesome before...'

'Neither have we...'

'Hell, I've never even had a one-night stand... So everything I ever wanted to try out just happens in one night...'

'Just like our first time together...'

'Hehe, uhm... Yeah... And you'd be okay with that, Ceylan...? If Blain and I had sex...? Theoretically speaking, of course...'

'I feel that you and Blain also need to have that choice to be with someone other than me... I wouldn't mind if you did...'

'... Really?'

'Hm-mm... As long as you'd let me sit on your face while you're at it with him...'

'Hehehe... Maybe... But just so you know, I haven't conceded in anything... So please, don't expect me to...'

'Nothing is written in stone... I just figured we can talk about it and see how it all goes... And if any of us think it doesn't feel right, we'll simply call it off...'

'Okay...'

'I'm not trying to talk you into it because you need to decide that on you're own if you want any of this to happen... Take some time to think things through first and let it all sink in...'

Samantha nodded quietly and had this uneasy smile on her face once she looked at me once more... I wanted to give her time to think things through first so I left it at that... But her answers still kind of left me in the dark if she'd truly wanted to have a threesome with me and Blain... I suppose I did kind of overwhelmed her with that... But it's a suggestion to which she can give in or not and I didn't need an answer right away... And even though I was really hoping that she'd go through with it, I can perfectly understand if Sam wasn't feeling comfortable with the idea and not go through with it... I suppose I could only wait it out to see what would happen...