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Growvember

November 17th

I woke up late the next day, my body feeling completely drained after all the adrenaline ran out. My ears blearily opened to the noon sun, groaning as I rolled over, my arm hitting something. Blinking, I saw tan fur, the previous night starting to come back to me.

Hanlover was a wreck, and I had encouraged Chris to act out one of his fantasies, and even joined in. Ramming our dicks through buildings, masturbating, and doing any lewd act we wanted, pretty much flattening an already destroyed city.

Sitting up and looking around, the buildings were a lot lower than last night. Least, what were left. Another huge leap in size. The largest skyscraper coming barely up to my hips. I rubbed my head and groaned, trying to calculate the size. 600 feet? Give or take? Sounded bout right.

"Morning." Chris yawned behind me, stretching and flopping back his arms, crushing more rubble.

"Yeah." Was all I said, looking over myself. Most of my injuries had healed, of course, but I still felt tender around my nose and eyes. Probably another night and I would be fine again.

"Something wrong?" Chris pushed himself up, looking at me worried.

"No, nothing." I felt hollow again. I thought I could get over Sam in one night, but I still felt nothing. I hated it. I hated everything.

I stood up, figuring I should head back to the camp so the others didn't get worried, but Chris jumped up as well and grabbed my hand.

"Hey, you aren't going to tell anyone bout this right? Things we did, or I did? I mean, I don't want the others to look at me weird." He was truly concerned about this, his eyes pleading.

"No Chris. I'm not." My voice was cold as I yanked my hand free. That didn't seem very reassuring to him.

"Bryant, this doesn't change anything between us either, right?"

I rolled my eyes.

"For god's sake Chris, let it go. I don't care about your fetishes or how other people perceive you. And you shouldn't either. " I glared back.

"What is wrong with you? Is it the breakup? I know she meant a lot but-"

I turned swiftly and backhanded him with a fist, knocking him to the ground as he grabbed his cheek.

"Shut up! You don't know what I'm going through got it? Just go shove another building up your ass and leave me alone!" I shouted down at him, leaving him stunned and holding his cheek before turning and stomping off, crushing a few standing buildings in my path.

This anger again, I hated it. I thought I had it gone but now it was back, which only made me angrier. It was like I was in some perpetual loop of hate. I didn't even realize I had reached the our normal meeting spot. The others all looked up at me, some more so than others, but Shawn and Nicolas still were larger than me.

Nicolas was actually walking towards me, probably wanting to know what Chris and I had done last night. I looked up to tell him before he could ask, only to have a fist rammed into my gut. I felt my eyes bulge out as I gasped for breath, clutching my stomach and falling to my knees with a thoom, groaning.

"You damn idiot. Do you realize how dangerous and stupid you were?" He growled down, his voice shaking me to my core. I had only heard him angry once, and that was the day of our escape. But having this anger aimed at yourself? From someone who could crush your skull between his hands? That was a new level of fear.

"I saved a bunch of people and killed a rogue skunk giant and tiger. So what?" I gasped, trying to gain back my breath. He crouched down before me, glaring.

"I get it okay? You're hurting. I felt it too when Jake broke up with me. But get over it. Got it? If she broke up with you over this, then she wasn't worth it in the first place."

"Easy for you to say. Jake is dead." I coughed, glaring back at him. The news seemed to stun him for a bit.

"Yeah, throat gouged out, antlers broken off probably as some kind of trophy. Probably makes you feel, doesn't it?" I spat. He said nothing at first, before his fist slammed into the side of my head, knocking me to the ground once more.

"Don't you dare EVER think I wanted that! I hated him, sure, but I didn't wish death on his head. Nor on anyone else's!" He jabbed his finger towards me the whole time as I tried to get the ringing out of my ears.

"I like you Bryant. I do. But we can't have someone like you hanging around if you can't pull yourself together. You'll become a threat to the city and everyone else. Either shape up or get out." The tough guy act started to crack, and I realized this was really hard for him.

I couldn't move though. I couldn't look up at him. I just felt too ashamed. I had acted like some rotten child and hurt everyone around me.

Again I took some time alone from the group. I could still over hear them though using their telephone system. Apparently the survivors I rescued were telling news stations of the horrors they experienced and were being treated at the local hospitals. They were apparently in bad shape. Another week or so and they would've all died most likely of either starvation or being crushed.

Then apparently our confrontation made the headlines with video of Nicolas punching me. The military explained how the giants were making sure no one acted out of line. All was okay now according to them. A lie simply to reassure the citizens the giants weren't starting to go berserk.

Chris came back a bit later. He said how he just went exploring for a bit and was careful. He gave me a quick glance but immediately looked away. I couldn't blame him. I messed with his feelings and left him probably in a state of anxiety if I would actually tell the others or not. That might've been relieved though since Nicolas didn't confront him on it.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and waited for Nicolas to be alone, before walking over and sitting beside him, my knees to my chest. He didn't really look at me, but just gave a grunt. I took a deep breath.

"How did you do it? How did you get over all that anger and pain with the breakup?"

"It hurt. Right down to the core. I felt betrayed, angry, and wanted to take my anger out on the world, just like you probably feel right now. I couldn't find an outlet for it though, and just left the world alone. And I was wrong to do that." He rumbled out. I felt a tear sliding down my cheek.

"When does it go away?"

"It doesn't. The moment will always be there. Don't dwell on it, think of the good times you at least had. Those were real. Those are what are worth remembering. I'm sure she had her reasons for breaking up with you, and I don't believe it was something you did. I think she just lost hope of you getting back to normal, and wanted to grow old with someone her size is all." He patted my back as I put my face against my knees.

"You're a good guy Bryant. I'd hate to see you turn into some asshole over a love loss. I'm sure you'll find someone else out there."

"So what should I do now?" I choked back from going out into a full out cry, trying to keep my composure.

"First, you apologize. To me, to everyone. Maybe even give a statement. You did save a bunch of people, so you were being recognized as a hero till this morning."

My head snapped up.

"Oh god. Chris! I need to apologize to him right away. I was so hyped up last night I actually kissed him!" I groaned, banging my head on my knees.

"Wait, what? I thought-"

"I'm not! I just...wasn't thinking and acted out!"

"Did you...?" He gave me a quizzical look.

"No! No. We didn't. It was just that kiss is all." I half explained, not telling about what we did to Hanlover. I jumped up, wiping my nose.

"Thanks Nicolas. And...I'm sorry. You're right. I need to move on." I sighed and immediately began to head over to the puma as he laid on his side, looking at the city.

"Chris?" I said lowly, thinking he was napping. A twitch of the tail as I said his name said otherwise.

"Chris, I'm sorry. Bout last night, bout this morning. All of it. I wasn't thinking clearly and was just a jumble of emotions." I looked down at my feet. He didn't respond.

"I'm an asshole. I hurt you and messed with your emotions. I shouldn't have done any of those things to you."

Still nothing.

"And if you are wondering, no, I didn't tell anyone what we did. I only mentioned the kiss to Nicolas, and that's it. I'm also sorry for that. Its not that I didn't mean it, I mean, I did but didn't, ya know? I'm not gay, just I wasn't thinking straight and the fight and..." I sighed as I realized I was rambling. Slumping my shoulders, I took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. I'm hoping this doesn't ruin our friendship, but I understand if you don't want to hang with me anymore." I waited for maybe a reply at all, but only his tail twitch in response. Nodding to myself, I went back to seclusion, realizing I had a lot of healing to do.