FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Scales and Honor: City of Light

Chapter 21: Shattered

"Veledar!'" Arcturus' scream echoed through the air. He followed the dragon he loved, bellowing it over and over again until his voice cracked, than broke, his throat sore, and he could not shout any longer. His entire body felt numb as he collapsed to his knees, his heart aching with a phantom pain. Tears started to roll down his cheeks as he gazed out to the vast sky, Veledar merely a small dot within the sea of blue. The dragon was flying towards the mountain close to the estate, no doubt to lands far away. Away from the estate, away from Lumara, and away from him.

"Graaaah." Arcturus clutched at his chest as it felt like a dagger had been plunged into it. The pain rippled outward and made his arms shiver as he continued to sob. He grabbed at his hair, his mind spinning at what had just happened. It left his breaths quick and ragged, as his heart threatened to burst. Veledar the dragon he cared about more than anything was flying away, possibly forever.

"All because my damned family." He spat out bitterly, collapsing onto all fours. The grass little comfort as he clutched the cold earth tightly. "My damned name..Deeds long since past." His head touched the grass, as tears continued to come. They dripped down onto the grass, mixing with the dew. "Curse this place!" He looked up the eyesore of his estate, I should have had it demolished years ago!" He cried out, his words turning from hatred filled hisses into painful sobs.

He tried to pull from his mind a solution. Something he could have done to prevent this. I helped him each step of the way. The thought stung as he could not think of anything he could have done. I did not know... He clutched at his eyes, his nails scratching his skin as he dug them in. I did not know...If I knew Veledar.....I would have told you..

"Please..." He cried out softly, begging to who ever was listening. "Please let this all be a sick dream." He pushed his eyes into his palm wiping the tears gently away. He wished he would wake up right now, back in his bed with the dragon's forepaw wrapped around him snugly. Then he would tell him about the terrible nightmare that he had, maybe even have tears in his eyes. The dragon would than hold him tight, lick him affectionately and remind him again that he loved him.

"Please..." He repeated, trying to ignore the ache in his chest.

He hung his head in silence. With only the sound of his choked sobs to keep him company as his tears continued to flow. The thought ran through his mind that this was not a dream, no matter how much he wish it were not so. Him here on his knees. Crying his eyes out until they hurt, the aching pain in his heart. This was real. This was the horrible reality that he was currently existing in.

"DAMN'T!" He pounded the earth, collapsing onto the hard surface. "Damn't" he repeated as his voice grew softer. He tried to not picture the dragon before him, but how could he not? His mind went to the better days they had spent together. The stargazing nights where they were huddled together for warmth with his wings wrapped around them, the dragons warmth keeping them company. He clutched at his side as he remembered every peaceful morning. How each day was better to have the dragon in it. Than the dragon kissing him, and how they had spoke such fond words last night.

"Please..." He said one last time, almost a whisper. He closed his eyes tight, trying to sense the dragon like so many times before. To his shock he felt him, even from this distance away. It was a swirling storm of anger, confusion, guilt, and sorrow. It was a dull feeling that made the human feel slightly warm, like a blanket had been wrapped around him. It made Arcturus let out another sob, and his heart spike in pain once more. He grit his teeth, and curled on himself with his latest cry. "I'm sorry Veledar..." He knew there was nothing to be sorry about, but he still felt like it needed to be said. At least for the pain his family had caused the dragon he loved most dearly.

"Arcturus!" Lyndis shouted, he turned to see her sprinting across the field in her morning attire. A black shirt like an onyx, charcoal leggings with grey stitching on the sides, and a belt thrown around her waist. Asterion was right beside her, his chest puffed up, his silver mace held tight in his hands, and his eyes scanning the skies for any threat that could have made the dragon roar like he had done.

"Arcturus,," Lyndis kneeled beside him, a look of concern on her fair face. She lifted her head to scan the grass around him. "What's going on?...Wheres Veledar?"

"Gone." he replied flatly. He wiped the tears from his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt, with a loud audible sniff. He stood up, his senses dead as he glared out at the sky to find Veledar's dot had grown ever smaller and almost was gone. He turned around, brushing the half-elves hand away with a rough shrug of his shoulder.

"Well...what happened?" Lyndis took pace beside him as he started walking towards the estate at a brisk pace. "Why was he shouting?.....Arcturus!" Lyndis grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around roughly so that he was looking into her amber eyes filled with concern. More concern than he had ever seen her give him before. A look he had never thought he would have gotten when they had first met.

"Arcturus....speak to me.."

"We....we had a fight..." Arcturus gestured to the small speck in the sky that was his dragon. "He was angry at my family, and what they did to his over the years...Lyndis....my family killed his mother....his birth one.." He saw his vision start to blur as moisture formed in his eyes once again. "So he flew off.."

"No..." Lyndis turned to the small speck with a gasp. "Arcturus..." She turned back, the pain she felt for him showing in her eyes. "I'm...so sorry."

"Thanks." He brushed her away again to stride past Asterion.

"Arcturus!" Feku cried out, dashing from the kitchen door with her violin held within her claws. Her bright blue dress flapping in the wind. "Arcturus..." She came to a halt as he drew near and went to pass her. "Are you?"

"No." he replied, watching her frills droop as he passed.

He pushed open the worn kitchen door. His hand shaking as he took a step into his accursed house. The house that had cost him Veledar. The dragon that he cared about with all his heart.

"Grraahh." He stopped, grasping at his chest again. It felt like the thing had suddenly lit on fire from the pain. He waved Lyndis away as she went to grasp for him out of concern. "I'm fine." He said through clenched teeth.

"No. Your not.." she shot back. "Now let me help you."

"Lyndis." he replied softly as the pain faded away. "I...want to be left alone." He looked up to his room, or at least where he pictured his room to be. He imagined the sleeps would be a lot more lonesome.

Just like when Selina was gone.

His heart ached for them both as he turned away from his friend, as he could not look her in the eye. "Please...I...."

"I know.." She placed a hand on his shoulder, and pulling him into a hug that he returned.

"Lyndis...Hes..."

"I know." She padded him on the back. "I know.."

He sobbed in her embrace, feeling more like a whimpering child than that of a grown man at this moment. His limbs shook, and quivered as she held him firm. They stayed like that for a minute as she just kept repeating how things were going to be okay.

"I...want to be alone for now." He pulled away with a sniff, and wiping his eyes once again.. "And...thanks....I...needed that."

"No problem." She patted his shoulder. "That's what family is for."

"Were family now?"

"We might as well be Arcturus." She smiled, "Now were a focken weird one to be sure...But yeah." She held up a finger and prodded his chest lightly with it. "Now you go rest, take time." She poked his chest again. "Don't do anything stupid okay?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Wha-

"You know what I mean." She said sternly. "Everything will be okay."

He nodded, not really believing what she had said. "You don't need to worry about me doing...that."

"Good." she said softly. "Cause I have seen that before."

"I really just need some space." he held up his hand. "Honest."

"Well okay." She crossed her arms and nodded. "If you need anything Arcturus, come find me. I will be the ear to listen okay?"

He nodded again, as she patted him one more time before spinning around and going to talk to his other companions. Probably shed the news to let him be and give him some space. No worries about him committing suicide over losing the dragon. He took a deep breath and let it out in one long sigh as he resumed walking towards his room. He had not done that when Selina had perished, he would not be doing it now that his dragon could be away forever.

_ Besides...the dragon just said he needed some space...He could return at any point._ Arcturus pictured Veledar swooping down. He would not speak a word as be bounded towards the human. He would pluck him up into his arms and pull him tight against his chest. Tighter than he had ever done before. They would then apologize to one another and whisper sweet words. That however did not happen as he rounded the empty corner, and climbed the squeaky stairs.

His deep breaths and beating heart were the only sounds gracing his ears, as he walked the lonely hallways of his home. He stopped several times to prop himself up against the walls as his heart throbbed. It literally felt like someone had ripped it right out of his chest. Each time he was left gasping as he clutched at it. He even snuck a peak under his shirt to make sure that the skin was still there, to of course find that it was. He took a deep breath as he had done this, and to his horror he recognized the alluring scent that clung to him.

_ My clothes smell like Veledar._ He groaned as images flashed before his mind. Memories once again reminding of him what he had lost. He closed his eyes and with his breaths he could almost swear the dragon was right beside him. He let out a whimpered moan of sorrow as he lowered himself to the floor, back pressed against the wall. Veledar was in his mind standing proud, smiling down at him. Moving his snout closer to him, than nuzzling against his cheek. The feeling of warmth and happiness spreading out towards him.

Arcturus shook his head, as he felt his upper body shiver and the tears once again start to be shed. His beautiful scales that sparkled when the sun hit them just right, his cerulean eyes that looked like sapphires. Arcturus hated himself for feeling so confused when the dragon had come to him in anger.

"It's my fault." He hung his head. "Maybe he would have stayed if he could not sense my confusion. It probably messed with his head during the shock. Now that he could feel the ache in his bones, and the tears in his eyes he knew. So what if things had happened so fast? So what if his feelings for Veledar were stronger than he had for anyone he had ever known? So what if Veledar would out life him for hundreds if not thousands of years? Arcturus continued to cry as he ran his hands through his hair once again.

"I think I am actually in love with him." he said aloud almost in disbelief. He knew he had said them before during the night, and could have been because of the horrible things that had happened. But this hurt too much, the dragon too comforting to his heart. This feeling was real, the love he felt for the scaled beast was genuine. Why else would he feel so lost, alone, and empty by the lack of his presence?

"Happy now father?" He spit out, imagining the amused face of the older Lund. The man who had tried to train him to hate dragons during his youth. Thankfully only the ways how to kill them He picked himself up off the floor with a snarl, picturing the old man laughing at the misfortune he seemed to have. He carried himself further along, passing his room and making his way to the study as if he had lost control of his body. Part of him needed to see this place from so long ago, the place that had cost him Veledar. A vile poison to the Lund name.

His eyes narrowed on the door to the place. It apparently had been ripped from it's hinges and was lying down in pieces on the dull grey stone floor. Large gash marks had been ripped into the wood by claws. Veledar's claws. The fragments scattered around the rest of the hallway. He took a knee before the wrecked thing, running a finger along the ravaged wood. He tried to picture just how angry his friend had been. Enough to leave me behind, He sighed, lifting his gaze to the blood red carpeted room, that looked like a whirlwind had swept through it. The dragon heads had been scattered around and ripped to little pieces. The tables, chairs, and desks were all smashed, and broken. Their own legs littering the ground. He figured it would take hours just to try and figure out which leg fit where.

The once pristine walls looked like Veledar had shred every single inch of it with his fury. The wood bore the same slash marks as the broken door in the hallway. He kicked some of the debris as he shifted into the room. How he had wished he had been there when Veledar had made this discovery. Maybe he would have been able to cut the anger and confusion right off at the head. Instead of having it stew inside the dragon before he confronted him. He balled his hands into fists as he kicked yet another piece of wood. The shard flew off and struck the wall, before clattering onto a broken table that was split in two. If Arcturus had to guess, it had been from his love's tail.

He picked up another piece tightly in his hand. He narrowed his eyes and glared at it like this piece of wood had been the sole reason his dragon had been injured so. "GraaaH!" With all his might he through the piece of wood against the wall. It joined the previous piece on the table, but he felt slightly better. He just stood there, looking to the fire place as he breathed heavily in and out. Than his gaze fell to that of Radiant Flame. The one head in the place that had not been touched. He figured despite all this hatred and fury, that the dragon could not bring himself to tear up the head of his mother.

He glared at the crimson scaled head. The head that his great grandfather had taken. The lie he had told the rest of the family, the lie he had repeated to his love. Her teal scales were quite a sight to behold, and he had remembered them in his youth. She had been the first dragon he had drawn, despite the story that had been told about her. He remembered thinking how something so beautiful had been so evil.

"I wish you were here right now." He said aloud, as if the dragoness could hear him from beyond the grave. "Your son is hurting right now...The dragon I care for more than anything." He collapsed onto his knees, hanging his head in shame as he imagined the dragoness was judging him right now with her blue eyes. "I'm...sorry my family took you...took you away from Veledar." With a sniff, and wipe of his sleeve he glared to the rest of the room. Shooting daggers from his eyes while clenching his hands until his knuckles turned white. This entire room filled him with a sense of anger like he had not known in some time. His eyes widened as he realized it was a lingering emotion from the dragon he loved.

"Veledar." He said softly, his grip loosening, and his arms falling to his side. How he wanted to destroy this room. Burn it, rip everything to shreds, anything to get the dragon back beside him. He brushed aside some of the scattered wood, picking up smaller pieces and chucking them against the wall in vain. Like the clattering of the wood and his anger filled cries would somehow make his love appear to him. He did this for several minutes, until he lowered his head, and placed his hands gently on his legs.

"Arcturus." came the caring voice of Lyndis from the hallway. It drew his attention away from the tattered remains of the study to see her poking her head in from the door frame. The sly grin that he almost expected her to have was instead a reserved face full of worry. She strode over to him slowly and kneeled beside him once again.

"I know your feeling terrible, and you asked to be alone." She took a deep breath and sighed. "But as you told a snarling dragon awhile ago...You should not be alone right now."

"What do you think I need?" he asked, crossing his arms and staring at her intently.

"Because...I have been in your boots before." She held up her hand, "Now I know it may seem dark right now, but I am almost sure things will work out."

"How-"

"Because I have seen the way he looks at you. Long before you confessed to one another your bloody feelings. I seen the way you talk to each other, kiss. He is crazy about you Arcturus." She turned her head to look at the broken window and sighed. "So mark my words. Your dragon will be back, nuzzling you, kissing you, and yes." She chuckles weakly. "Making love with you once again."

Arcturus sighed at her kind words. They were quite the comfort to him. Like a soothing warm blanket on a cold winters day. "Thank you.." He said softly. "I wish though I could be as optimistic as you." He thought back to his family, and all the people he had failed or let down. "Things just don't seem to work out...and hes really confused right now."

"Well if I am overly optimistic your the focken bastard to blame." She laughed weakly, and nudging him in the chest. "I learned it from watching you, ya dolt."

"You watched the wrong teacher." He smirked slightly, as he felt his mood start to shift at her persistence.

"Listen." The half-elf patted his shoulder. "I know his head's in a twist. Things might be confusing that red scaled bastard to no end. But mark my words." She held up her other hand and placed it onto her chest. "I bet my future kingdom you two will be caught up with one another soon, and be ever more thankful for it.

"Thanks." he muttered as he stood up to glance around the room one last time. He saw Lyndis smirk as she rose with him, probably satisfied she had helped. He gave a soft kick to some more wood, before letting out another drawn out sigh. "Perhaps my sword stances will have draw my mind from him."

"See that's the spirit!" Lyndis curled her arm around his shoulder, and he let her start to drag him from the room.

"But listen to me." He thumbed his chest. "I will destroy that room before we leave."

"Yes! But not this day!" She chuckled. "Today, you spend it resting, relaxing, and trying to keep yourself occupied."

Arcturus took a step into the hallway, and found that the hallway brought warmth. He glanced a small peak at the study. Even being this little distance away from it brought a small ounce of joy to him.

"I'll tell Feku to keep the stove running. And I will bug miss elf for a summon food spell or something. If not.." She laughed. "I will borrow her carpet and get some real food to eat." She pattered her stomach. "Don't get me wrong I love pancakes, but girl's been spoiled on better food as of late. Figure I could always go that place you mentioned...The hummingbird tavern was it?"

"Thats the one. Tell them Arcturus sent ya. Look for a man called Harold." Arcturus' thoughts drifted to the date with the dragon there. Most of my happy thoughts of late have you in them my dearest dragon. "Grah." He said aloud as they stepped onto the squeaky stairs.

"Veledar again?"

"Yes." He said softly. "He plagues my thoughts, as he often tends to do. But instead of the happiness they should be bringing me..."

"Well..don't worry." She pulled him closer against her. "They will bring you happiness again soon." Her latest step onto a stair brought about the loud sound similar to when a car yelps as you step on it's tail.

"Blast it!" she laughed, as she took another loud squeak filled step. "Who made these things so that they squeak so loud?"

"Father always said he would get them fixed. Used to annoy the hell out of me in my younger days."

"Arcturus...I don't know what lies your father spoon fed you. But these stairs...someone made them to be so squeaky." She thumbed back towards the stairs as they stepped onto the bottom floor. "No stair was ever that squeaky...ever...They only do that because your father wanted them to be so loud."

_ Damn._ Arcturus chuckled in the back of his throat. For the moment forgetting about crimson scales, tawny wings, and blue eyes of sapphires. "I always suspected that might be the case. Too bad I never called him on his little project then."

"This is were we part ways then." Lyndis gestured the way to the kitchen as they stood before the den. "I'll grab Feku, and Asterion..go get some food from that tavern place."

"The Hummingbird tavern."

"That's the place."

"What about summoning food via Shandalar like you mentioned?" he pointed up towards the ceiling as if to the elf. Which was no doubt in his mind sitting at a chair with her papers scattered on the hard table.

"Eh." Lyndis shrugged. "Thought about it while we were walking. That place sounded good after ya told us about your date with the dragon."

"It wasn't exactly a..."

"Okay yes it twas." Lyndis crossed her arms and laughed. "You went out to a eat at a restaurant." She extended one of her fingers. "Than ya spoke tender words to one another." She held up another finger to join the first one. "Than to top the evening off. Ya focked like newly weds when ya turned in....Certainly sounds like a date to me!"

"I..." Arcturus could not help grinning as his cheeks flushed red from the memories. "I took the bloody dragon on a date!" he laughed, shaking his head at the absurdity. He could not help thinking to the dragon's sweet smile, his infectious draconic laugh that he always did, his pestering snout, his funny way he complained.

"I know, it's what I said!"

The both laughed together for a time, until Arcturus felt his sides start to ache and he had to clutch them, nearly out of breath. With a last rumble from his throat, they gave one last chuckle.

"Than I will be doing my technique meditation in the field."

"Right." Lyndis smirked, "Meditation." She did air quotes with her fingers. "Just admit you like swinging the sword around and listening it swoosh through the air."

"It....Okay so it does swoosh.. but I-"

"I know it's when you recite your oaths and it helps center your mind." She rolled her eyes and playfully punched him on the shoulder with a laugh. "Just focken with ya. Besides." She leaned in and pressed the backside of her hand around her mouth and lowered her voice to a whisper. "I like it when the swords swoosh too."

"Is that right?"

"Focken straight!" She turned to find his friend with a casual wave of her hand. "Take care of yourself while we go and get some food." She turned back with a grin. "Any preference on food or drink while we are there?"

"Everything is okay, see if they have any gryphon's delight. That fruity drink was always one of my favorites."

"Gryphon's delight." She nodded, as if adding it to a mental list. "I would have thought you'd fancy the dragon milk." She finished with a wink.

"Hah hah very funny Lyndis." He chuckled, "And you should know..that's a totally differen type of milk."

"Yea I imagine. We should talk about it some time." She turned back round, and headed off once more to find the others.

Arcturus quickly trotted into the den. Quickly picking up a his cloak and sword. With a quick adjustment to his belt he had the scabbard at his side, and the cloak tied around his neck. Satisfied that he was adequately dressed he carried himself out to the kitchen, across the floor, and outside into the cool air. He took a deep breath, letting the cool air pool into his lungs and distract him from the thoughts that were creeping on the edge of his mind. Without a word he strolled across the grass and passed where Feku was sitting cross-legged next to Asterion on his brown cloth of his.

The kolbold was tapping her tail softly on the grass, and swishing her bright green scaled snout to a beat that she appeared to be humming. She had a smile on her face, as she would occasionally sneak a peak at Asterion with her eyes to see if he were following along with her movements.

To Arcturus' amusement the bull was kneeling beside Feku with a stern look still painted on his muzzle. However upon quick glance Arcturus could see that the bull was swishing his tail in tune with the beat that the bard was humming. He passed on by as Lyndis seemed to be talking to them, and holding her fingers on her other palm. He heard the mention of food, and than an excited high pitched screech from the kobold that made him think she had turned into a gryphon for a moment,

"YAY we get better food!" Feku continued, clacking her claws together, and nudging Asterion. "Now you don't have to complain about pancakes!"

"I did not...complain. The bull snorted with a grin on his face. "I merely said there were better meals befitting a warrior.

"I thought you said any meal that satisfied your hunger was a warriors meal?" Arcturus grinned.

"That is true....but there is a scale to these things." He held up a arm and gestured by sweeping it across the air. "There is a live meal that you killed yourself, and then on the end there is fluffy pancakes with syrup."

"Come on Asterion, maybe they will have some live deer you can kill or something." Lyndis waved them to follow. Feku leaped up in a flash and took a spot beside Lyndis as she walked back to the house.

"Come on Asterion, or you left ahead!"

"Behind!" The bull snorted, slowly standing up and folding up his mat. Arcturus saw his eyes glance to Feku, and they narrowed. There was uncertainty that lingered in his eyes as he watched the kobold swish her tail from left to right. He was going to ask the cleric what was going on, but the bull quickly sprinted after them. "Wait for me!"

Will have to ask him later. Arcturus made a mental note to do just that. He turned back to the sea of greens, casually strolling along at what could be described at a leisurely pace. The breeze bit at his face, making him thankful to have a partial beard right about now. With another breath and a few dozen steps he glanced back at the large eyesore of stone. Well it certainly looks like I am far enough away. Truthfully he could have done this right next to the place, after all it's not like the building cared that he was swinging his sword, reciting his oaths, and thinking of his spells.

_ I just need to get away._

He let out a drawn out sigh as he took the starting stance at the ready. With a hiss he unsheathed his sword and held the gold dragon cross guarded, onyx blade at the ready. He swished it around from left to right, still amazed at it's lightness. To think such a thing could be crafted from Bahmut's tears. His eyes narrowed with the next pass of his blade, and his head began to throb as he remembered the words.

"They call them Bahamut's tears." Veledar had said to him, pulling him close and pointing the vast star filled sky as the shooting one streaked across the black tapestry.

"Aaaaa." He lowered his sword, holding his temple as he tried to focus on the blade in his hand. The fine piece of craftsmanship from his friend that he had ever seen. Slowly but surely the image of his red dragon receded with his next few breaths. The wafting scent of the crisp air made him gasp. It was always a pleasant reminder of the time of year but in his current mind it did nothing but stay his thoughts of Veledar. His gaze went from the lines of trees in the distance, to the towering mountain, to the bright blue sky that was littered here and there with blackened clouds. It was like the weather was ready to change at a moments notice.

Arcturus thought to the intense storm of the night before, and the rain that had drenched them with it's downpour. Than he came. Arcturus felt his torso ache again with the next pounding of his heart. Think of something else. He pleaded to his mind, closing his eyes and clenching them tight. Please..anything else...anything but him. He tried to latch onto any memory that he could find in recent memory, but none seemed to be coming that did not include the dragon in some fashion. He could feel the cold drift into his soul once more, before he found a memory to latch onto. He went back to the first day that he had been promoted to the rank of paladin and recited his oath from memory.

He opened his eyes and lashed out at the air, taking a forceful step as he did so. He focused on the words with all his mental strength he could muster, anything to keep out the battering ram of emotions that was Veledar.

_ A paladin is sworn to valor._

His mind focused, and with another stretch he swung his blade again at the air. A great swoosh noise sounded in his ear, making him fight a smirk from Lyndis previous remark.

My heart knows only virtue.

He took another step, followed by yet another forceful swing from his sword. Perhaps a bit too forceful.

My blade defends the helpless.

With his next step his mind shifted to Veledar lying on the floor of the indomitous, strapped down to the floor in leathers. Arcturus lost his compose for a moment, catching himself as his next step almost made him fall as his leg quivered.

My might upholds the weak.

His next sword movement was even harder than before. Like he was trying to cut the air to ribbons, as if it's destruction would spare him from his own thoughts eating away at his spirit. But no matter what he thought, the memories started to flow. He pictured Veledar and himself flying high above the snowy mountain tops, as they had shouted and roared in joyous glee at their first official flight together. He thought once more to the star gazing with his next step, and he almost fell again.

My words speak only- He hesitated with his next movement. His vision began to grow blurry again as he could feel the moisture returning as his head ached. He knew the next words of course, but they seemed to be just outside his grasp. He could not focus on their comfort as the dragon's fondness overwhelmed his thoughts. The beautiful dragon that had saved him time and time again. The dragon that had suffered along side with him. The dragon that had been there to pick him up at his lowest point. The dragon that he cared for.

_ My..._

Arcturus dropped his sword as his hand holding it shook. It tumbled to the grass as his lip quivered, the rest of his body shook, and the tears started to come forth once more. He collapsed once again clutching his side as he let out great pained wails like a wounded animal. He did not wipe the tears away that were rolling down his cheeks as the memories refused to keep coming. They refused to cease their taunting of him. Veledar's cerulean eyes, his crimson scales, his tawny wings, his frilled tail, and his silly smile.

"Veledar..." he said softly through the gasps and cries. "Veledar.." He repeated, trying to look up to the mountain as his heart ached again. He felt his body start to weigh down, as if the despair in his heart were a physical thing that could smush him against the cold ground. He continued to cry, whimper, and sob until the tears came no more, and he felt drained. With a sniff, and wipe of his sleeve he found the strength to push himself up off the ground to his feet. He picked up his discarded sword, and stowed it quickly without a word. His eyes looking up to the estate, as if expecting Veledar to be perched high on the roof. His frills twitching as he stared down at his whimpering human, his tail swishing side to side as he had a plan up his scales to raise his spirits. Of course when he turned the dragon was not there. All that was there was the cold hard stone, and the grim reminder that the dragon he loved was gone.

He forced his legs to carry him towards the eyesore. Each step an effort, as his limbs seemed to feel like they were being weighed down by stones. He pushed open the kitchen door to enter the practically empty house.

What can I do to keep my mind busy? So it will not slip into bringing up my dragon?

He remembered how the dragon's scales felt smooth in his hand as he caressed them. The pleased sounds rumbling from Veledar's throat as he traced the small detailed ones. He thought to the tight hugs, the wings wrapped around him in that stove like embrace. Even his breath was a cherished memory now. "Shandalar." he spoke out loud, as he desperately tried to think of anything to distract himself. Anything to relieve him of these cursed memories.

Please let her be able to distract me from my thoughts.

He carried himself through the empty hallways, up the squeaky stairs, past the hallow rooms. He looked to the old stone that held this place together. The memories it contained, both good and bad. Although with a scowl he told himself that it was more bad.

_ This place is just like me._

He held up his hands to look at his palms. He saw them quiver as he remembered Veledar flying away with tears on his snout. Hallow, empty, alone.. He passed the study again, tossing a glare at it. Imagining destroying it once again, either with fire or taking a hammer and smashing everything into a fine powder. He imagined with a smirk Veledar letting out his fire breath to coat the place, as they could toss their heads back and laugh as the vile, painful, poison burn away in cleansing fire. They would sit back together, leaning up against one another as they delighted in the thing's destruction,

However even that pleasant thought could not pull him the pool of despair that was circling in his gut. "ugh." He groaned out, moving on to push open the smooth, firm door to the library.

Arcturus was bombarded with the smell of old vellum, from the bookcases that lined ever wall. Filled with multicolored tombs of all sorts that lay neatly stacked on their shelves. The bindings of each book was worn with age, having seen use by every Lund that graced these halls. There were tables made out of oak that were at the center of the larger than normal room, with scratches along their surfaces, put there by him in his younger days as he spend many a day reading through the books on various monsters and how to slay them. Mana torches lined the walls, already lit to bath the room in a soft golden glow.

Shandalar was sitting down in one of the comfortable brown cushioned chairs with papers and scrolls scattered over the table in front of her. Her long elven ears were twitching slightly as the sound of her quill scratching the parchment filled Arcturus' ears. Her eyes seemed to be darting back and forth as she continued to read a section of the papers she had found in the castle. On the table were various quills of all different colors, some bearing broken tips next to empty ink vials. The thought she was taking notes of her own filled his mind.

Sure enough his eyes found a small leather clad book that's surface was covered with trees and various elven runes.

"Afternoon cap....Arcturus.....I take it your night went well?" She looked up, and he thought he saw a smile come to her face. "Taking comfort in the arms of another is quite a relaxing thing. Even if said thing is a dragon who is most passionate." She sighed. "It is good that you are taking my advice."

"Hes gone." He spat out, pulling a chair from the table with a loud scrape, and collapsing into the cushion with a groan. "The bloody dragon is gone."

"Oh." She replied with disbelief in her voice. She set the papers down gently on the table, and placed her hands together as a look of genuine concern spread to her face. "Tell me how this sad event transpired. I take it you are feeling guilty about the whole affair?"

Arcturus nodded weakly, and told her every little detail that he could fish from his rattled mind. He watched as she nodded and listened to his tale. He finished with a sigh as he told her why he was here. He was left weakened, put of breath, and his throat was sore.

"Water?" she pulled out her water skin, and offered it to him with gentle shake of her wrist.

Arcturus snatched it from her and took a swig from the cold liquid. He drank the a good seven gulps of water, delighting in the soothing sensation it provided as it spread down his throat and cooled his chest. He swallowed down the last bit with a gasp.

"I am sorry something like this has transpired Arcturus. Especially since it seemed he was a remedy to the dark thoughts that have been plaguing you." She frowned, letting out a deep sigh. "I will do my best to be a shoulder to bounce thoughts off of, if that is how you are trying to soothe yourself. Although.." She gestured to the door with a swipe of her arm. "I would recommend the gryphon you may be avoiding."

"Krotos?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. He was surprised she had brought up his name. "Why would I be avoiding him?" He said the words but already knew the answer before she opened her mouth in reply.

"The obvious answer Arcturus is that both of you suffered the loss of the same friend last night." She placed a hand over the one he had placed on the table. He touch was warm and fair. It reminded him of the way his wife used to hold his hand the same way at the dinner table. "Just go speak with the gryphon...You both suffered greatly..and you need someone right now. He seems fairly empathetic to others pain.

Arcturus nodded slowly, surprised by her compassion. "I thought you emotionless Shandalar." He laughed weakly.

"Come now." she smiled, "That is a common misconception misheld by most people about my own race....But yes Arcturus I do very well have emotions...I even have emotional strings that people may pull upon. You losing your dragon or friend is very much one of them.

They burst out laughing for a minute, at what reason they did not know. But It felt good to laugh with the elf, until with a faint smile, lesser chuckle, and a cough the laughter was done.

"So the papers..Have you found anything of interest as of yet?" He asked, trying to draw his mind to that topic. Instead of the trap that was his dragon.

"Ah.." She rose her hands, and placed them together as if in prayer. "I see what you are trying to do." She leaned back into the chair, and picked up the papers she had snatched from before. "Nothing significant yet, but I have found things of interest on it." She smiled, showing off her teeth. She pointed to the paper held with her grasp.

Arcturus looked to the old worn vellum held by her. It was covered with the picture of a vast golden crystal, one that was larger than any crystal that Arcturus had ever see...anyone had seen. Thin lines spread out from the gem with ink lines of black. He figured to show magical lines connecting parts together. Around the picture was letters that seemed to have been by possibly by claws. He figured this from the harsh lines, and sharp turns of the ink.

"I have figured out this crystal here." She tapped the golden one three times. "Is called the source." She let out a sigh as her eyes returned to the parchment she he retracted it. "Besides that I have been unable to pinpoint it's exact function. She wrinkled her brow in disgust as she was no doubt recalling how the vile things had been created the night before.

"So...all .." He gestured to the papers with a finger. "all you have is that?" He tried to not show his disappointment on his face. He was almost convinced that she would have had a fountain of knowledge at this point. He figured whatever she had learned would have been at least enough to keep him distracted until his companion's return with the provisions.

She took a deep breath in, closing her eyes. "Sadly..yes." She gestured to the scattered pages covering the table with a slow sweep of her arm. "But...it is really thrilling." She smiled. "To actually have an intellectual challenge for a change....Instead of the physical demanding ones is a pleasant change." She sank further into her chair with another sigh. "An honest to gods academic problem for once."

"So do you need any help with any of this."

"Not unless you can help me figure out this ancient draconic." She frowned.

"Well..have you had anyone over the years that held up to snuff to help you?" He laughed, crossing his arms.

"Once I did. There was an elven wizard friend of mine." She looked up at him eyes, looking tired. "He used to help me all the time with any problems that we had in our research into spells." She chuckled. "He was an honest to goodness rival of mine at the time. You should have seen us trying to one up each other with spells or knowledge." She wrinkled her brow as if she gazed upon on something vile. "He and I of course went out our separate ways over a matter of technique."

"What..kind of technique?"

"He was more willing to push the limits than I was."

"How so?" He raised an eyebrow, shifting his weight from foot to foot, as he looked around at the room.

" He would use live creatures on spells that were not exact safe. Or he would dabble in necromancy." She picked up the pages and started to read them again, as if she needed this vice to forget the troubled memories of her past. "It...is long since passed."

"Is he dead?" He asked softly.

"Oh by the gods no. I imagine he is kicking around somewhere. It has only been one hundred years since we have seen each other after all."

"Only one hundred?" he smirked, "If only I had such a long life to live. How exactly old are you Shandalar?"

"Only three hundred twenty." She held her head up proudly.

"So what was his name than?"

"Nigelious." she replied, her eyes stopping their movement to focus on one particular part. "Although people called him Nigel for short. He hated that name."

"Well..." He looked to her after several minutes of silence. Shandalar only sitting there reading with little to no interaction to him. It was like she could solely focus on the paper as if he were not there. He wondered if he shouted at her would she budge. Or would she be able to remain calm and not even glance up at me. Like I was not even here. He pushed his seat out with another loud scrape. "I won't stick around to bother you any longer."

"Oh your not bothering my Arcturus." She said flatly, her eyes not leaving the papers. "You are not singing, or going on about the particulars of gryphon mating rituals."

"Well." He glanced back towards the library door, "That is true." He stood up in with a soft groan, stretching his limbs towards the ceiling. The trip to the library had not lasted as long as he would have liked, but it did manage to do the job of keeping him distracted from-.

That's when he pictured Veledar among the vast rows of books. He would be tracing one of his white talons along all the bindings, chuckling at all the silly names for books, or perhaps requesting that he read him some. He would probably stop and look at him with that amused look on his snout and ask him which ones were his favorites. Than he would chuckle like he did, and suggest that the books with the dragon maleness were his favorites, or perhaps he would tone it down and make a quip about how he was fit to be with a dragon.

_ That is if he did not knock over all the book cases over with his tail._

Once again he clutched at his heart, as it felt like yet another dagger was thrust into it by a phantom attacker. It caused him to wince, as he struggled to maintain his composure. With narrowed eyes and a quick wave he closed the library door with a soft click. His next steps brought him through the hallway, his mind once again clouded and in a daze. He stared at the floor, hoping to not focus on anything in his house. Everything it seemed kept pulling his mind to the dragon no matter what he tried to do.

_ Its only natural Arcturus..It just happened after all..did you expect to suddenly heal like your magic?_

The thought made his head hurt as he leaned against the wall again, letting out a small gasp at the throb. He thought to his room, and the soft bed that it contained. Perhaps that is what he needed to relieve himself of all the pain. Rest to clear his head, rest to restore his body, and rest to clear his mind of the dragon he pledged his love to.

Rest...I need rest. The thoughts allowed him to drag his feet slowly along the floor to the point he thought he might be part slug somewhere down his family tree. He made it to the door to his room, trying to push the pleasured evening from his mind when the dragon had pushed him up against the door and locked his maw with his mouth. He strode over to his bed, the brown blanket still an unmade mess. Unbuckling his belt he set his scabbard softly onto the floor before he let himself fall face first into the soft embrace of his blankets and mattress. He gripped at the cloth and wrapped himself within their embrace. However with widening his eyes he realized this might have been the worst thing he could have done.

The blankets smell like him. He took a few breaths away from the sheets. Oh gods....the whole bed smells like him. His eyes began to mist as he thought back to his dragon. However each breath he took was a small comfort to his mind. Like every lungful of Veledar's scent told his mind that everything was going to be okay. So that is what he did. He clenched his eyes tight and buried his sobbing eyes into the soft blanket that smelled of better times. The blanket that smelled like love. The blanket that smelled like Veledar. In his mind came the picture of his dragon holding him tightly within his wings, his breath warming him up like the warmest of stoves. With a soft sigh he could almost feel the rising and falling of the dragon's chest, and he swore he could feel Veledar's heartbeat. There he was held tight against the dragon as he cuddled him like a lover. Like nothing had never changed.

"Veledar.." he whispered, as the tears began to come from his eyes. He clenched at the blankets until his knuckles turned white, as his whole body ached.

"How ill fitting for my paladin to be crying right now." Veledar would have whispered to him. His voice the more pleasant thing to his ears. He would have clutched him, running his hands tenderly along his scales as the dragon assaulted him with affectionate nuzzles and licks across his face. He wiped his eyes as he gave a last few pained sniffs before sleep started to claim him.

Please...let this be a dream.

*

Arcturus awoke to the smell of Veledar. For a moment he thought the dragon had returned and was caressing him tightly.

"Veledar..it's nice to.-"

He moved his hand, find that the dragon was not there. His mind reminding him in grim realization at what had happened earlier in the day. He opened his eyes with a groan of disappointment. He stared to the faintly lit room, groaning again as he pulled himself from his bed. He strode over to the window, placing his hand softly on the smooth aged glass as he looked to the countryside below, and to the bright moon rising just over the horizon.

I guess I slept the entire day away... He carried himself with a lowered head to his door, making sure to snag the mana lantern sitting on his desk. With a small press of the activation rune he opened his door to spread the light to the darkened hallway. Each step into the hall he tried to focus on the sound of his boots striking the floor, instead of the still aching pain in his chest. He only rose his head as he neared the kitchen and heard the sound of laughter. It sounded like Merlia was laughing up a storm as Krotos squawked in protest at something she had said.

"So dere we were jus sittin dere, lookin at a gryphon patrol fly overhead. When I look over ta see my companion here had sprouted a tower of his own!" We were stuck dere for ten whole minutes, lucky thing we didn haf ta fight dem, right Krotos?"

"Awk awk awk. Make all the jokes you want Merlia." Krotos laughed, "I smelled how you wet you got from them as well. Your lucky they did not smell your arousal from way up high. Besides." Arcturus imagined the gryphon placing a claw to his chest. "It was not my fault anyway that one of the snowy white female gryphons was flashing her gender as she flew overhead. I thought you were understand a bodies reaction...so something beautiful." he heard the gryphon give a pleased croon.

Arcturus chuckled to himself as Krotos let out another series of squawking laughter as he no doubt brushed up against the dwarf. He quickened his slow pace towards the kitchen as his next breaths brought the alluring plethora of cooked foods to his nostrils. He smelled roasted turkey, pork, chicken, beef. He could feel his mouth already begin to water in anticipation at the though of dining on such fine food after a stressful day. He opened the kitchen door in a flash as his stomach gave a rumbled demand he fill it. His eyes fell to all his friends gathered around the table save Shandalar, which he bet was still upstairs in the library working away at her research.

The surface of his table was covered with food. Practically every space available had a silver dish with steaming food sitting on it. Just waiting to be dug into and devoured. He spied several trays of vegetables of all kinds, fruits of all different colors, which made it look more like a tray of rainbows than food. All his companions had their glasses raised up as if in toast, as they suddenly grew silent and turned their attention to him. He saw Lyndis' smile that had been on her face droop slightly.

"Welcome back lad." Merlia was the first one to breath the silence, as she thumbed her dark crimson shirt. "I'm glad ta see ya in one piece." She pulled out a seat for him to her left, placing him next to Lyndis. "Here take a seat...Figure ya need da cushion." She gave him a smile that was all teeth as she gestured to the empty seat with an empty palm.

Arcturus looked to the others unsure faces. They were fixated on him, as an unsettling silence filled the room. It was like they were waiting with bated breath for his response to the simple request by the dwarf.

"Well. That has not happened since earlier this morning." He chuckled weakly as he sat with a grin. "I am so hungry that I could eat a gryphon." He grabbed at a few things. He decided to go with a turkey leg, with some gnomish beat roots slathered what it looked like a thick orange spicy sauce.

"Well if that's what you could do." Krotos tilted his head to the side with a grin on his beak. "I could always swish my tail out of the way and you could get to work."

"Not dat type of eatin ya silly fool." Merlia chuckled, as the the others burst out laughing. "Well...as interestin as tha would be ta see.."

"Don't give him any more ideas." Arcturus grabbed some food to his plate Krotos just squawked in laughter.

"Well...as I was sayin before I mentioned Krotos' little problem."

"H-hey!' The blue gryphon's crown feathers shot up. "I am anything but little...especially down there dwarf! Besides I did not hear you offer any complaint or resistance at my plan to get it to go down." He said the last part with an amused croon as he puffed out his feathers. "You actually seemed quite keen on it at the time!"

"Oh.." Merlia cupped the bird's chin, causing him to chirp pleasantly to her touch. "Ya tink ya so clever." She ran her fingers through some his fur, grinning as Arcturus saw him lean into her touch. "Anyway...as I was sayin." She lowered her hand to an irritated chirp from Krotos. "I figure we got ourselves five days including today before dis gryphon search party finds us here at da estate."

Arcturus shoved some of the turkey leg into his mouth, ripping into the juicy savory meat. He let out a pleased sigh a small tendrils of steam escaped the leg.

"How do ya figure that?" Lyndis asked, leaning back in her chair and taking a long sip from her metal tankard. Then setting it down with a clink.

"Listen here lass." Merlia chuckled putting her arm on the table and thrusting a finger at the amused half-elf. "I dun ask how ya do dat finger twirlin tings ya do. So jus trust me wen I saw we got five days until we be caught." She thumbed her chest as she let out another deep laugh. "I'd bet me life on it."

"Fine..Fine.." Lyndis mumbled into her tankard, before taking another drawn sip from it. Letting the metal part with her lips with a gasp. "Keep your dwarven secrets."

"So five days?" Arcturus asked, swallowing his next chunk of turkey to grace his mouth far too quickly, he did not even get to enjoy the lovely taste. He made a mental note to slow down in his eating lest he start to grow scales and sprout wings. His mood darkened in realization that number was now the limited time available for his dragon to return to him. Unless Veledar decides to follow us by scent.

"Yea dats right. Den we best be getting out of here, figure I use a pass wit out trace spell. Allow us to get away unless dey got a fancy finger twiddler like we got upstairs."

"So a dragon couldn..." He said softly, hanging his head, and letting the turkey leg fall to his plate.

"Uh...no lad." Merlia stumbled with her words, "Ah..sorry bout dat den."

Krotos shoved the dwarf with his wing, than gesturing to Arcturus with a twist of his neck.

"But..you can be sure he will be comin back." She smiled nervously, "Or we will be huntin him down for ya." She finished with a sigh before silencing herself with her tankard.

Arcturus sighed and stared at the scattered half-eaten food on his plate. His hunger vanishing with the thought of Veledar not being able to find them if he changed his mind. What if he never returned? Would we ever see each other again? He grit his teeth as his heart ached once again.

As if seeing his emotions on his face Lyndis, wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "It will be okay Arcturus." she said, concern lingering in her voice. Her touch was a great comfort to him, just like before. Soon enough he felt Krotos rear up and wrap them both in his forelimbs.

"I'm sorry. I just see people in need of comfort and.." The gryphon hugged them both tighter, causing Arcturus to laugh out at his warm soft fur and feathers.

"Well..thanks there yellow beak. Thanks Lyndis."

"Lyndis! Everyone!" Asterion suddenly spoke up, Arcturus fought the urge to jump suddenly at his loud voice. Although he figured he would be unable as Krotos held them tighter then before. The bull's eyes had the same grim look that he had seen earlier.

"Yes?" Lyndis replied first as she patted Arcturus' shoulder. "Unless you want in on this hug action can it bloody wa-"

"No.." The bull snorted. "I must speak." His eyes went to each one of them in turn. Arcturus could see the pain, and the guilt lurking behind those eyes before he cast their gaze onto Feku. He stood up with a loud scrape of his chair, took one long swig from his tankard and placed it on the table. "I have called you all battle brothers, sisters, I bear a guilt over my recent actions that I must get of my chest at this time."

"How so?" Lyndis asked, raising an eyebrow with a grin. "I have only seen you ever heal, and stand side by side with us every time we get into a battle." She laughed weakly. "Hell I have never seen you shy away from responsibility for an instant!"

"Thats-" Asterion looked to Feku, his eyes filling with shame before hanging his head. "Not..true..I was dishonest with you the night we fought the observer."

"H-how so?" Arcturus felt Lyndis let go of him, and a quick glance saw all the color drain from her face as she just stared at the bull. He watched her shift in her seat nervously before Asterion spoke once more.

"It involved Feku's....mate..the one you called Azzik." Asterion let out a deep breath, his voice sounding tired. "I could have brought him back from the afterlife when you asked me..for you see-."

"YOU FOCKEN SON OF A BITCH!" Lyndis shouted out, leaping across the table and with a smack, punched the bull right across his face.

The bull did not flinch or shy away, and simply stumbled backward from her violent outburst.

"YOU COULD HAVE SAVED HIM!" She cried out, her voice cracking as she landed another punch on the unresisting cleric. "HE DIED FOR ME YOU BASTARD!" She threw her last punch and stood gasping for breath as Arcturus and Merlia rose up to grab her by the arms.

"Let me go! Let me go! He...Azzik!" Lyndis struggled and twisted in Arcturus' grip, until she collapsed onto the floor with tears coming to her eyes, and than dripping down her fair face.

"Asterion?" Arcturus rose his head to glare at the bull. His mind still in shock from this revelation. "Is this true?"

"Yes." the bull said softly, but loud enough to be heard over Lyndis continued cries.

"As horrible as that is." Arcturus snarled at the man who had spend the past few days healing them when they were injured. "I never think he was obligated to bring us back from the dead. Hell we did not even know he could do that....Just in it for the diamonds remember?"

Asterion did not say a word, and continued to hang his head in shame.

Feku was next to rise, as she slunk over into Lyndis' arms, pressing her bright blue scales into her chest. Joining her little sobs with the half-elves own. Arcturus heard he say something in draconic hisses. If he had to guess, he would have figured it was her mate's name.

"You...can let me go now." Lyndis said weakly, her voice still cracking. "I'm good...I won't be punching him anymore."

Arcturus looked to Merlia, who seemed to be speechless over Asterion's revelation. She gave him a quick nod, and they released Lyndis, who wrapped Feku tightly within her arms.

"Come on Feku.." Lyndis stood up, holding the kobold while she glared at Asterion, who was watching them and shifting his weight from hoof to hoof nervously. "Lets go relax by the fire or something.." She stroked the kobold's head, who buried it once again into her chest. Lyndis turned slowly, and walked straight out of the room without another word.

Krotos let go of Arcturus with a slight chirp, than trotting after the pair with a swish of his tail and a refolding of his feathery wings on his back. "Don't forget about me you two." the bird mumbled as his tail vanished as he made his way to the den.

"Well...dun dis jus beat all." Merlia grumbled, taking her seat and wrapping her hand tightly around a tankard. She grabbed a fork and plunged it into some ham, devouring it quickly as if to silence any remarks she could have made. Arcturus brought himself to his seat, only for her to speak up again.

"I tink I might want ta retire for the evening early." She laughed somberly, "Before someone shares some more bad news wit me." She sighed, letting her fork clink to her plate. "I thought all da problems were going to be at da castle. Not follow us to da dam estate of yers."

Arcturus ate the rest of his meal in silence, even if he was not hungry any more he forced himself to finish it. Although the entire time he did so, he did not enjoy it in the slightest. For some reason the food was all a blur to him.

"So why did you not heal Azzik?" he asked, setting his fork on the table, and taking a swig from the bitter tasting ale from his tankard.

"I was...wrong." Asterion replied, placing his arms on the table. "As you said yourself. I was under no obligation to bring the kolbold back...but.."

"But what lad?" Merlia scowled. "Cause ya lucky ya heal me. Otherwise I would be smackin ya worse den Lyndis did."

"He protected Lyndis and deserved to be brought back." Asterion slumped his shoulders as he sighed. "I will speak of this with you tomorrow if you would allow me. My mind is now scattered and in many different places, I would not do my explanation any justice." He looked up to stare into Arcturus' eyes, and then shifted them to Merlia. "I will think on my actions more, and know I am deeply troubled my companions. And that I am terribly sorry for my error in judgment that night."

Arcturus crossed his arms as he continued to maintain his gaze with the bull. He could see the conviction he had said those words, they bore no ill intent, no deception. It looked like the cleric did in fact mean what he said.

"Oh ya tink ya can jus-"

"Fine..we shall speak of this tomorrow then." Arcturus quickly interrupted her. "I don't need to add this to the list of things troubling my mind." He wrinkled his brow, as his thoughts once again returned to his dragon. The dragon who had left him, alone. He stood up without, and with a quick wave of good bye was out of the kitchen and once again pulling himself to his room. He stumbled through the hallways, his mind wrapped up in every moment that he and Veledar shared with each other. Each pleasant memory bringing forth such an ache. He was so relieved when he collapsed onto his bed once again, undid his boots, and kicked them off with a thud to the floor. Tears came again as his next few breaths were once again filled with his dragon's scent.

"Veledar." he whimpered, closing his eyes tightly once again. "I wish you were here right now my dearest dragon." He clenched at his eyes trying to pull himself from the dragon he loved. Try to imagine a black void, trees, a vast sky, anything but the dragon that plagued him with pleasant thoughts and fuzzy feelings of love. However no matter how hard he tried he could not cast them out. It took quite a while, and many tears before the memories finally faded away, and he was finally able to fall asleep.

"

"