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"Can you walk?"

Lakota stood up and nodded, a small trickle of blood still ran down her legs, to her blood-stained white paws. I had this image of a white sheet in my mind, all of a sudden it was soaked in red, that's what Lakota looked like to me. She was frail and traumatized from her experience, her motherly eyes were wide, still trying to process what had just happened. Her tail remained stiff and her ears moved quickly at the faintest sound. Her blood had begun to stain the snow now.

Kiah was still pacing back and forth trying to wrap his head around what had happened as well. He probably blames himself: for getting drunk last night and for letting this happen while being intimate with me. I blame myself partially as well, not for trying to sleep with Kiah or getting drunk, even though I deserve every ounce of guilt coming my way. I blame myself, because I knew I should have seen it sooner and put a stop to it.

The way Lakota and Clay had acted around each other made me suspect they were in love, possibly even having sex in secret, but the way Clay acted when others got too close to Lakota, went beyond lover's jealousy. He would go so far as to steal her away from me, even when he knew I was gay.

Lakota stumbled and fell to her knees. The white she-wolf was a mess, she knelt completely naked in the bloody snow and tried to hold back sobs. Pan rushed over to her instantly, helping her up, letting her wrap an arm on his shoulder. I quickly followed and gave her my shoulder.

"Thank you," Lakota said, wincing on each syllable.

"We've gotta find him." Kiah commanded.

Pan and I started back towards our camp, while Kiah carried the torch. The otter's tail twitched in an aggravated manner. His brown paws were balled into fists.

"We can't go looking for him." I replied.

"We need someone to look after Lakota, and Pan is wounded."

The otter stopped and spun around suddenly.

"Maybe you should, Finn!"

"Christ! Why are you mad at me?" I spat back.

"Well, maybe if you didn't make us all pass out none of this would have ever happened!"

"Yeah, well who was getting all touchy with less than an hour ago!"

"Fuck off!" The otter walked briskly ahead.

I turned to look at Pan, the ermine gave me a look, and shrugged.

"It's your problem not mine."

Lakota breathed in a deep breath.

"Finn, Kiah stop it." The white wolf winced as she breathed in bloody breath after bloody breath, the taste of iron consuming her mouth, and the smell of copper polluting her nostrils.

***************

"What are you going to tell Mom and Dad, Finn?" My sister had her arms crossed across her chest. Her blue eyes met mine serenely.

"There's no way they won't see you're lying to them," She continued.

"Emma, isn't there something else you can tell them?" I pleaded.

"Oh something other, than the fact that you were locking lips with another guy!"

"Emma, are you against it?"

"I... I don't know." Emma eyes fell to the kitchen floor, still messy from the fun she and her two friends Tara and Elle had been having. I had tried to guess what had caused them to spill so much flour on the floor to take my mind off the inevitable chaos.

I moved toward her, keeping my eyes locked with her's.

"Don't listen to what you were taught for years, in your heart," I began, wrapping my paw around my younger sister's.

"Should me and Nick be together?"

Emma had begun to tear up now. Her blue eyes brimming, she usually hadn't cared this much about me, but having a gay older brother in a Christian household can give you a overwhelming punch of emotions. She'd never have a nephew or niece, at least from my parent's point of view. They'd never have grandchildren, properly at least. They said "Gays shouldn't adopt, shouldn't marry, and shouldn't exist. They are mockery of what God intended marriage to be."

"You deserve to be with whomever you choose Finn," My sister looked up at me with tearstained eyes and smiled. A real genuine smile that lit up both sides of her face. She hadn't given me a smile like that in years. Once Emma started high school she started distancing herself from me and our parents, but she came back when she saw me and Nick making out at a party as she left.

I have to admit, it was one of my favorite moments with him. We probably would have gone further had I not heard her stifle a gasp and dash for Tara's SUV. I told Nick to text me later and rushed after her. Somehow I found myself in our kitchen. My parents were gone on a weekend marriage retreat our church held every year. Rather than have a party at my own house I attended one, something my parents would never have approved of.

**************

"Kiah!"

"What?" I heard the otter snap from deeper in the cave.

"Kiah!" I yelled louder.

"WHAT?"

"Can you get over here?"

We'd been walking for what seemed like hours. Lakota remained quiet and shellshocked. The snow beneath my paws seemed to melt faster, to the point it almost felt like the slush that usually came in March, at least when the world wasn't covered in a snowy hell.

"...goddammit," Kiah grumbled.

The brown otter surfaced out of the darkness bearing the tiny orange glow of the torch all over his downtrodden and angry muzzle. I locked eyes with him.

"How are we supposed to know where we're going if we can't see?" I snapped at the otter. I didn't want to hurt Kiah's feelings. I liked him, he was cute. I couldn't get those startling emerald eyes out of my head from the moment I first saw him. I hadn't forgotten about our make-out session, even if half the time I was realizing one of my friends had just been violated by someone else I considered at the least a friend.

"Finn, I can't do this right now." Kiah replied.

"Guys seriously," Pan interrupted, groaning under the weight of carrying Lakota.

"I'm sorry, Kiah. I got us all drunk."

It hurt to admit my mistake. If Nick hadn't died none of this would've happened. If Clay hadn't stopped me maybe my husky would have clung onto life enough for me to rescue him and nurse him back to health. Now that's Nick dead I've started to crumble, my emotions got the better of me and I got drunk, threw myself on Kiah, and wound up letting one of my few friends get raped twice.

"Both me and you are at fault," Kiah's head hung as he said this.

"If I wouldn't have let you..."

"Maybe none of this would've happened..." The mustelid sighed.

I let out a deep breath.

"Are we anywhere near to our camp?" Pan asked.

We had stopped walking and held Lakota between the two of us as Kiah stood facing us with one paw holding the torch and the other shaking fidgeting slightly from the cold.

"Probably not,"

I shook my head.

"Are you saying we've been going the wrong way, carrying two wounded people?" Again I had to force myself not to sound too angry, because I still wanted Kiah to be my friend.

*************

That afternoon at the movie theater had been my real first date with Nick. We had kissed before, afterward and during the film. I found myself falling in love with another man. Something told me it was right and we clicked so well. We both loved to write. Me and Nick had met at a writing club and he had shared his work with me. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and when I gave him some of mine he said the same.

Pretty soon the entire writing club, knew we were together. Especially after that afternoon excursion to the theater. I had told my furious parents that I had gotten coffee and chatted with a friend I met in writing club. They believe my bullshit excuse, and I had fed them more bullshit excuses for a month afterward whenever me and Nick when out.

I would not hold paws with Nick at school, but would chat with him all the time in text and in person. The fact that it took my sister two months to finally notice seemed weird. Most students at the high school knew Nick was gay. His parents were very proud and supportive, unlike my own.

Now, Emma has her paws wrapped around me in a hug.

"I won't tell mom and dad, I love you big brother."

***********

"Yes, we're going the wrong way," Kiah breath out exasperated.

"All we have is Pan's pack for provisions and first aid right now." I replied.

"If we don't find camp, Lakota won't have much luck."