Can I be Your New Rival?
#13 of Vore
Can I be Your New Rival? By: BerserkerB
(All characters are owned by their oringal creators, and are used with permission)
"By the gods, where could she be?" Samantha Weltzin, city manager, avid adventurer, master spell caster, cat, and a whole slew of other titles that she has been referred to - though not all were necessarily good - pushed her way through the crowd of people. She cursed under her breath, angry at more than just this crowd of people. Catharine, her friend and sometimes fellow adventurer had gone missing since yesterday. Samantha had been offered a quest, one with a hefty reward, but the services of a monk were required. Unfortunately, the owner of the tavern at which Catharine worked had told Samantha that he had not seen Catharine since the morning of that day.
With her friend gone missing, Samantha was unable to accept the quest, which was soon snatched up by another group. Two children shoved passed her; they pushed through the swarm of townsfolk, without so much as an "excuse me."
The gray-furred feline scrunched her nose. "No manners." She continued to slip between the throng of people, trying to make her way to the center of the mass. She could not figure out what had drawn all these people out here. Surely whatever had caught the attention of so many people could not possibly be up to any good. No circus was this popular, nor was any street performer that had ever traveled through her town.
Samantha finally pushed into the thicket of it all. She edged her way between a couple of fat hogs, and found a rather peculiar site. Before her was an odd looking guy. He looked like a lion, but his fur reminded her of a hyena. He wore a pair of blue slacks, with matching bands around his wrists and feet. He stood with one foot on a big, brightly colored rubber ball. He had two sticks in his paws, and on them he was balancing a pair of plates. He had a similar setup on his snout.
The strange hybrid swayed to one side, and the audience "ooohed." The ball rolled the other direction, and they "aaaahed." Sam removed her glasses, cleaned them on her red scarf, and did a double-take. Was this all? Some strange looking lion-hyena hybrid doing a balancing act, and it attracted this many people?
The hybrid jumped off the ball, and all the plates came down with a crash! He cringed, and then shrugged. "Oh well," he said. "No point in crying over broken dishes." He kicked the ball away and addressed the crowd with open arms. "And now, ladies and gentlemen, I shall present my next trick!" He reached into one of his pockets, and then pointed to a random person in the audience. "You there! Give me card suite and number!"
"Uh...the ten of spades," replied a stunned audience member.
He pulled his paw from the pocket, and held up, for all to see, the ten of spades. "Now you all may be thinking that I planted that person in the audience, but I can assure you all that I wouldn't be caught dead with him!" The audience gave a small laugh. "And now, I need a volunteer from the audience." He scanned the crowd until his sight fell on Samantha. "You there, young lady with the red scarf!"
Samantha looked around, then pointed to herself and asked, "Who, me?"
"Yes you!" he shouted back, before grabbing her by the arm and hauling her to the middle of the crowd. "Let's give a big hand for her, ladies and gentlemen!" The audience gave their applause, to which Sam humbly blushed.
"I really don't think..."
The enthusiastic performer thrust a pie at her. "Here, hold this for a second."
Samantha took it, but looked at the confection curiously. Where in the world did he just pull this from? While she stared down at the oddity, with its fluffy white cream topping, the hybrid continued to address the crowd.
"Now then, ladies and gentleman, I, the great Berserker, will now transfer this pie onto this young lady's face...without touching either of them!" He pulled a small device from his pocket, on which was a small red button.
Samantha was too busy studying the pie, still curious as to where it came from, to listen to his words intently. However, moments after he produced the small device, the meanings of his words caught up to her. "Wait, what?"
"Fire in the hole!" he screamed before pressing the button on the device. The pie in Samantha's paws suddenly exploded in a shower of whipped cream, banana cream, and pie crust. The audience gave a shout as the pie blew up, though no one yelped more loudly than Samantha. The ingredients splattered all over her face, arms, and most of her upper body. Berserker spread his arms extravagantly, waving his paws while singing, "Ta-daaaaa!" Those of the audience that did not also get covered in pie gave him a small clap.
Samantha blinked several times, slowly coming out of the shock. Her fur was sticky and slimy, covered in banana cream pie. "Yeee-uck!" She swung her arms around, trying to get the slimy confection off.
"Here, let me help you with that." Berserker pulled a strange device from his pocket, which looked like a handheld vacuum. He flipped it on, and proceeded to roughly suck up the mess he made. The vacuum-like device slurped up all the cream, banana, and crust it came across. Unfortunately for Samantha, it also tugged at her fur.
"Yee-ah! Hey, stop it!" She tried to push him off, but her rather scrawny figure was not going to budge him any time soon. He shoved the vacuum in her face, forcing her to close her eyes. She endured it for a little while longer, and breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the machine turn off.
"There we go, all clean," he said with a pat on her back. "Let's give her a hand, ladies and gentlemen! She was a great sport!" He slipped the machine back in his pocket and started clapping wildly, eliciting an applause from the crowd.
Samantha's eyes narrowed. She noticed how his pocket was not bulging, even a little. He must be using magic.
Berserker pulled a bowl from his other pocket and extended it out while he bowed. "Thank you for your loving support. I only hope you enjoyed the show." Various onlookers tossed coins into the bowl, each clattering noise made the hybrid's smile widen.
Slowly but surely, the crowd soon dispersed. Samantha waited around, wishing to ask this odd guy some questions. "Hey uh...Berserker, right?"
He was counting out his earning when she addressed him. He cocked his head to look at her, and then slipped the bowl - coins and all - into his pocket. "That's right," he replied with a jaunty skip to her side. "Berserker the hyon, at your service." He took her paw, bowed, and kissed it.
Samantha rolled her eyes. How corny could he be? Then, her eyes caught something she had not noticed before. Attached to one of the hyon's ears was an earring. She reached up and pulled the earring closer, in turn tugging on Berserker's ear, causing him to howl from the sudden pain. "Where did you get this earring?"
He pushed away from her, and rubbed at his sore ear. "I won it," he said truthfully.
"Who did you win it from?"
He scratched his chin and stared upward in thought. "Uh...I think it was yesterday. I won a pair of them after I beat this rather skanky-dressed rabbit."
Samantha's ears twitched. "Did she work at a tavern, not far from here, and came at you with surprising strength when you referred to her as a whore?"
"I did not call her a whore! Sheesh, the nerve. I merely told her that I did not want her kind of entertainment. Then she got all angry, and started chucking me across the room." While he spoke, he played out the scene with a pair of puppets he had pulled from out of nowhere. "And then she came at me like this! And so I went like this! And then I grabbed her like so! And then I ate her." The puppet of himself gulped down the puppet of Catharine. "And then I coughed up her earrings, and I went out and pawned one off and decided to wear the other." He looked at her inquisitively. "Why do you ask?"
A dark gloom cast over Samantha's face. "She was my friend."
"Oh! ... ...Well that sucks." Looking at this crestfallen feline made him frown. "Alright, I'll turn myself in." He held out his arms to her.
Samantha perked up and blinked in astonishment. "Really? That's rather big of you." She raised her paw above his wrists, and cast a binding chains spell. A pair of spectral-like shackles materialized and clamped over Berserker's wrists.
"I just feel sorry for what I did. I never thought that my actions could cause someone else such grief. Only now do I wish that - Oh my god! What is that!?" He hastily pointed behind Samantha, his eyes wide with fear.
Samantha spun around, ready for some ferocious monster, or an evil horde, or something far worse - Stank! But there was nothing, just an empty street, save a few townsfolk. "But there's nothing..." She turned back around, only to find the hyon gone. "Dammit! How did I fall for that?"
Berserker planned on putting quite some distance between them. The ethereal cuffs disappeared once he had run far enough away, and he was nearing the edge of town with every passing second. Just a bit further... Just a bit further...
Crack-Boom! A bolt of lightning struck the ground before him, missing him by inches. Berserker screeched to a halt, and looked up behind him. The female cat from earlier was coming at him - or more precisely, she was flying at him!
"Lightning!" she cried. Another bolt of electrical energy shot at him from her paw. The bolt struck near his feet, causing him to jump. She landed soon after; close enough to aim her magic, but far enough so he was not within melee range. "That's far enough," she barked, her arm extended and aimed for another lightning bolt. "As city manager of this town, I hereby place you under arrest. Now surrender peacefully."
Berserker growled back, but suddenly stopped. "Wait a sec... That scarf, that sash, those pants, that oddly provocative bandage-bra! You're Samantha Weltzin, aren't you?"
Samantha nodded, though stayed on the alert. "Yes I am. How do you know my name?"
His attitude suddenly changed. "Why, my Author knows your Artist!" he shouted jubilantly. "Oh this is so cool, I am actually in a story with the Samantha Weltzin. Can I call you Sam?"
"What?" She looked positively confused.
He pulled a pen and paper from behind his back and rushed at her before shoving them in her face. "Please, can I have an autograph?" He gave her his biggest smile. "I've been a hu-u-ge fan!"
Samantha took the pen and paper, and stared strangely at both. "What in the world are you blabbering about? Who is this Artist you speak of, and why in the name of the gods did you call this a story?"
"So you...don't...want to sign...your...autograph?" He sniffled between his words, and tears were starting to form in his eyes.
"Oh well I..." Samantha looked into the big hyon's teary eyes. They were awash with misery and hopelessness. "Oh fine," she sighed. "But only if you agree to turn yourself in afterward." Berserker nodded wildly. Samantha took pen to paper and scribbled down her name. "Alright, there!" She thrust the signed paper forward. "Here's my stupid... autograph..." Berserker was already running. "Dammit!"
Berserker ran as fast as he could. The last thing he needed was to try and fight with Samantha Weltzin. He mentally cursed the Author, feeling that this story was not going to go well for him.
"Get back here!" Samantha was hot on his trail, soaring through the air by means of her magic. "Lightning!" Lightning split the air, striking Berserker in the back. The electrical energy surged through his body, singing his fur. He started falling to the ground, seemingly limp.
Suddenly, he pulled into a roll. When he came out of it, he spun around and pulled a pistol from behind his back. "Hold it right there."
Samantha came to a halt, and slowly hovered back to the ground. She kept her arms up, ready for anything. "What is that thing?"
"This is a gun. It fires a piece of metal at high velocities, which will blow through your flesh better than any arrow." He kept the gun trained at her chest. "It seems my Author blessed me with a little luck. You see Samantha, this is the problem with you D&Ders - you bring magic to a gun fight." He pulled the trigger. The gun let loose a stream of water, which barely even made it to the feline's feet. Berserker blinked twice, and then cursed. "Damn Author! A stupid water gun!"
Samantha was ready to take advantage of the situation. "Web!" As she cried it, a magical web spread from her paws. The sticky substance wrapped around Berserker, entangling him from head to toe.
"What the hell?" he cried. He struggled against the webbing, but the more he flailed around the worse it became. In moments, his right arm was stuck to his head, his left arm was stuck behind his back, his left foot was stuck to his right knee, and his right foot was stuck to his butt. "Okay... This is certainly a sticky situation."
Samantha approached the discombobulated hyon. "You're a pain in the ass, and it would probably be best to take care of you right now...but justice comes first." She activated her charm person spell, which Berserker did not resist from his saving throw. "I think it would be better if you came back to town with me, and have a nice talk with the authorities."
To Berserker, her words sounded so friendly and inviting. There was no way she meant him harm. "Sure, that sounds alright."
She released her web magic, and helped Berserker to his feet. "Good, and I hope you aren't hurt."
"Naw, I'm fine," he replied with a grin. They started off back to town. Samantha knew the spell would not last a long time, but the town as only a few minutes away, which was more than enough time to get him there and behind bars. While he still was under her enchantment, she figured she might drill him for some information.
"So who is this Author - and this Artist - that you mentioned earlier?"
"Oh they're just beings from a different dimension that control out very existences."
"So they're gods?"
"Well not necessarily 'gods.' Though I suppose to us - in a way - they are."
Samantha was starting to think this guy was a few spells short of a spellbook. "And what magic do you use to pull those items from your pockets?"
Berserker stopped suddenly. His face contorted. "I... don't know what you mean?"
"How do you pull things from your pockets, and put them back in? Like you did with that strange machine you used to suck up all the pie."
"I can't tell you,' he replied bluntly.
"Oh, I see." Samantha knew it was fruitless at this point. Charm person was not a mind control, it only made Berserker trust her. If she tried to pry further, it might break the charm. "We better hurry back to town." She hurried on, hoping he would still follow.
"Huh? Oh right!" The hyon sprinted after her. Berserker took three steps, and as luck would have it, tripped over a rock as he tried to take his fourth step. He hit the ground, face first, with a thump.
Samantha ran over to him. "Are you alright?" she asked before helping him up.
"Y-Yeah... But could you hold this for me, for just a sec?"
She took what he offered. "Sure, I..." She looked down to find a bomb in her grasp. "Yipes!" Samantha yelped and threw the explosive away. It exploded on some bushes, killing the innocent plant life in a sudden, violent death. She looked back at Berserker, who had jumped back and was in a battle-ready position. It seemed like the fall knocked him out of her charm, for some odd reason. "So annoying," she said as she extended her arm. "Lightning!"
Berserker pulled a Pikachu from behind his back, and used the confused Pokemon as a shield against the lightning. It screamed in surprise, though the feline's electrical attack barely phased it. He stuffed the disgruntled creature back to wherever it came from.
"So it's a magic battle you want, is it?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out an odd looking card. "Well I have just the magician to play with you. I summon the Dark Magician! Dark Magic Attack!"
Samantha braced herself for an attack... But nothing came.
Berserker looked at the card, and tried again. "I summon the Dark Magician!" Still, nothing came. He tossed the car to the ground, furious. "Dammit, I forgot that the Dark Magician requires two sacrifices...and a duel disk...and I am so screwed."
"Wall of flames!" Samantha cried. She let loose a blazing wall of fire, which surrounded Berserker swiftly. The searing heat washed over him, focused on one side of the wall. "You left me no choice but to end this quickly." When the flames died down, Berserker was still standing, though thoroughly blackened by the fire. It seems it wasn't enough to down him. "Fine then. Magic Missile!" Five bolts of magical energy shot from her fingertips. They shot through the air like bullets, trained solely on Berserker.
He tried to dodge the flying balls of energy by ducking. Unfortunately, the spell dove down to get him, sending focused impacts on various parts of his body. "Yee-ow! Hey, what gives? You're cheating!"
Samantha frowned and replied, "Magic Missile never misses. No matter what you try, you cannot block it unless you can resist magic." She gave him a small smirk. "And from what I can tell, you have no magic resistance at all, though quite the fortitude."
Berserker slowly got back up. His legs wobbled, looking about ready to buckle. "Magic resistance... I see. I get it now; I was never supposed to beat you." He raised his paws up in defeat. "You win; I can't defeat you in this plot."
Samantha did not budge. "You think I'm a fool? You tried this before."
"Yes, but that was before I - Oh my goodness! Look out behind you!"
The sorceress scowled. "What makes you think I would be stupid enough to fall for that trick again?"
Berserker grinned mischievously. "Actually, I figured you wouldn't. Now, attack her!" He pointed at Samantha while shouting his command.
She felt the fur on her neck stand on end. This was real! She spun around, ready to fire off a magic missile, or a wall of flames. "... ...Dammit!" she screamed. Nothing was there, and Berserker had zipped behind some nearby trees. Furious, Samantha released another wall of flames spell, incinerating some of the trees, and setting the rest ablaze.
Then, a something caught her eye. She stared bewilderingly as a figure approached her through the flames. The barricade of fire cast a glow over his body, which illuminated like soft light bulb. The flames died down, revealing a completely untouched Berserker, though he looked shinier than before.
"I have solved the problem of your magic," he boasted triumphantly.
Samantha was tired of his bluffs. "Magic Missile!" The bolts of mystical energy fired from her fingertips, streaked through the air, but simply bounced off of the hyon when they connected. "By the gods! What power is this?"
Berserker laughed at her failed attempts. "I was lucky, Miss Weltzin. I happened to pull out something very special." He tugged at something covering his arm. "Magic resistant plastic wrap!" Samantha stepped back in fear. "I have covered my entire body with it! Your magic won't be able to touch any part of me, so long as I am wrapped in this plastic."
"Wait...if you wrapped your entire body in the stuff...then how are you able to breathe?"
The hyon took a moment to think about her words. He exhaled, and saw his breath fog up the plastic around his head. "Oh crap." Seconds later, he was down on his knees, tearing the magic resistant plastic from his head. He gasped for air the moment it flowed to him, cursing himself for his stupidity. "Dammit, how could I have been so stupid? Wrapping my head in plastic... Is there anything else as dumb as that?"
He then felt a finger press up against the back of his head. "Letting your guard down," answered Samantha to his rhetorical question. "Reduce!"
Magical energy enveloped the hyon's body. His mass began to shirk away, and the world around him grew bigger and bigger. The plastic wrap, which could not be affected, dropped into a heap around him. "Well this can't be good." Samantha reached down and picked the 6 inch tall Berserker up by her fingers. He gave her a nervous smile, and chuckled. "Heh heh... Wasn't that fun, Samantha? Didn't we have blast?" She continued to glare at him. "You aren't still ticked about the whole pie thing, are you? I know - How about a nice ball of yarn, or a bag of catnip?"
"Oh that really does it." She opened her jaws, and tossed the tiny hyon into her maw.
"Wait, noooo!" he screamed. He landed on her wet tongue, and immediately tried to jump out of her mouth. Unfortunately, Samantha was used to dealing with meals the size of pencil. She flicked her tongue back, tripping Berserker and sending his face splating against her slick organ. Her jaws snapped shut, leaving the hyon in pitch-black darkness.
Samantha tossed the little annoyance around her maw, pushing him up against her cheeks, slathering his fur in her saliva. She bounced him around for a minute or two, enjoying the flavor of her little snack. Then, she titled her head back, gulped powerfully, and let her throat muscles drag Berserker down her gullet.
The little bulge that Berserker made squirmed and wiggled all the way down. There were some muffled sounds as he screamed and wailed, though it did him no good. Samantha placed a dainty paw to the bottom of her throat, and felt as the little hump of a meal slid beyond the point of no return. He emptied into her stomach only seconds later, expanding the small sac by an unnoticeable fraction.
The feline sorceress gave a sigh and a small pat to her belly. "Finally, I'm rid of that annoyance." She felt her stomach beginning to work over her tiny snack, which brought up a small burp. "Still, he wasn't the most annoying person I've met. No one is as annoying as St-" The moment she turned around, she came face-to-face with Berserker, who looked normal and completely unharmed.
"Hey there," he greeted with a smile.
She looked down at her belly, which was still churning her meal away. "But-but... I just ate you. I can still feel you digesting!"
With a casual grin, Berserker responded, "I got better." While Samantha was still trying to figure out the logistics behind all of this, he continued. "You ate me, Samantha. And you know what happens when you eat someone who can rebound from it."
There was a look of sheer terror in the feline's eyes. "No... No... Don't say it!"
"I am now - your - rival!" Dark clouds of doom and despair swirled around them. Thunder and lightning crackled in the background, and the most sinister music began to play in their ears. "And I will come back to haunt you again and again! I will not rest until I have thoroughly driven you to the brink of insanity! No matter how many times you eat me, or try and stuff my in a jar after turning me into a slug, I will always come back! Muhahahaha~!"
He laughed maniacally in triumph. Samantha grabbed her ears, trying to block out the horrible words. She screamed at the top of her lungs, "Nooooooo~!" She shot up in bed, drenched in sweat, and screaming bloody murder. Her breathing was fast and heavy, and she looked around her room in a wild disbelief. The only light came from an open window, as the full moon shined its light upon her town. "Was it... all a dream?"
Something next to her stirred. A male figure, lion-like, but with features of a hyena, sat up next to her. He grinned like the devil. "Ready for round two?"
Samantha shrunk back in fear and screamed at the top of her lungs once more. "Nooooooo~!" She woke up, once again, in bed. Sweat bathed her body, and her dimly lit room looked empty once again. She rubbed her forehead, and tried to catch her breath. "By the gods, what did I eat last night?"
As if to answer her question, a figure sat up beside her. He was dark furred, stinky, and was a skunk.
"Stank?" Samantha asked, wide eyed.
Stank gave her his most sexy look, which was more scary than sexy, and winked. "Hey baby. It's going to take you weeks to wash out my smell."
At this, Samantha began to scream once again. "Nooo-"
"Hold it!" Berserker came in from off screen, charging through the fourth-wall like a freight train. "Is this how the story is going to end, with a clichéd dream within a dream joke?" He scowled at the Author and waved a disgruntled goodbye. "That's it, I'm out of here." As he stepped out of the scene, he mumbled "Worst ending ever..."
Samantha and Stank watched bewilderedly as the hyon left the story. Stank finally broke the awkward silence. "So... Are we gonna do it?"
Samantha made a nervous twitch as her sanity cracked slightly. "Reduce!"
The End