Good Enough Chapter 11
#12 of Good Enough
Chapter Eleven--Reunion
It was a strange feeling, waking up the next morning. As consciousness slowly pushed sleep away, Damien's eyes fluttered open and he was mildly aware that something wasn't quite right... No, "right" wasn't the word. "Different". Something was different.
Steadily, he became aware of just what was different. The dip in his bed was a bit larger, slightly deeper, than it usually was... And his pillow wasn't this color--this vibrant red--and didn't smell like this, though this scent wasn't unfamiliar, it wasn't unpleasant. In fact, it smelled like...
He gasped as he jerked upright. Unintentionally, his head hit something hard. Another voice let out a shout of surprise as Damien jumped up. Thomas was awake now, looking at him curiously, rubbing his sore jaw where Damien's head had made contact. Damien fell over the side of the bed and felt the rush of pain as the back of his head hit the floor and his tail curled painfully beneath him.
"Dude, what the f--Are you okay?" Thomas asked looking down at him as he rubbed his jaw.
Damien was momentarily speechless. "Why are you in my...?" For some reason he couldn't bring himself to finish the question.
"In your...?" Thomas thought for a moment but he glanced around the room and let out a nervous laugh. "I... uh... don't know. I don't even remember falling asleep."
Damien tried to think. He remembered very clearly the storm the previous night and he remembered playing his guitar for at least an hour to try to keep Thomas calm. After a little bit, time had dragged on. But now that he thought of it, the memory was coming back. Thomas, not Damien, had fallen asleep first.
As the realization played through Damien's mind, he watched Thomas get up and cross the room, pulling out his clothes for the day. "I think I'm going to take a quick shower," he said shyly. "Back in a few."
"Take your time," Damien murmured in a halfhearted way.
Thomas hadn't been gone for a full five minutes when there was a knock on the door, which had jerked Damien from his own mind. He jerked in surprise and walked over, easing it open just slightly to see who was on the other side: James and Warren. He opened the door the rest of the way.
"DUDE!" Warren shouted. "WHY AREN'T YOU DRESSED?!"
James, as if it was natural, covered his boyfriend's mouth and smiled cordially. "What he means is: when do you think you'll be ready for rehearsal? After all, we've got that big show tonight."
Damien paused; the thought of the performance hadn't even registered in his mind until now. "I'm sorry. I won't be long..."
"Make it--!" Warren started.
"What's bothering you?" James asked nicely.
"It's complicated..."
"Can we come in? Maybe you can simplify it?" James suggested.
Damien thought for a brief moment. "Not too long. Thomas'll be back soon."
He stepped aside and let them in. James seated himself on Damien's bed while Warren plopped, irritably, onto Thomas's. "Can we make this quick?"
"We have time, Warren," James said in a firm manner. "Be patient." At once, Warren's mouth shut and he waited. "So," James said, patting the spot beside him, "sit and talk to us. What's on your mind, pooch?"
Damien sat and tried to think of how to begin. "How'd you two realize that you were...?" What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he finish a simple question?
"Gay?" James supplied. Damien nodded numbly. "Well, it's not exactly a cut-and-dry kind of thing. I've never really been attracted to the opposite sex. I tried dating a female before and it just didn't work out. She liked me in a way I didn't like her. We're still friends, but not dating. And Warren dated quite a few lovely ladies in high school. How many was it?"
"Three," Warren answered monotonously.
"And how many did you sleep with?"
"None."
"And why was that?"
"Stop interrogating me, Jimmy," Warren scoffed in agitation. He stood up and stretched. "I'm getting breakfast. Let me know when you two are done here."
"We'll be down in a minute, sweetheart."
Warren paused to kiss James's cheek before leaving. James smiled at the wink Warren aimed at him before the door closed.
"You'll have to forgive him," James said. "It's been a difficult transition for him. His family doesn't even know we're dating yet. He doesn't want to be outed yet so we're keeping it as secretive as we can. Well, he is anyway. I don't mind people knowing I'm gay." He frowned. "Did something happen between you and the panther?"
"What? No!" Damien said hastily. Then, seeing the knowing smirk on James's face. "Well, we kind of slept together... and no!" he added rapidly, seeing the looking of amazement on James's face, "we didn't have sex or anything. We just fell asleep."
"Aww, cute! Does he like to cuddle?"
"What difference does it...?" Damien began but he stopped himself. He remembered how nice it felt to wake up with Thomas's arm around him. "It doesn't matter."
James chortled. "No, I suppose it doesn't matter. But let me ask you this... Did you like being next to him?"
Damien nodded guiltily. "I did."
"Well, there's two issues I see here. First, you're dating Anna and you owe it to her to be faithful or to break up with her. Second, you don't know if he'll feel the same way."
"I know."
"... I'm not sure advice to give you, to be honest. I wish I could say that it's easy, but it's not. Coming out is brave but the closet's always safer." James thought for a moment. "I want you to think about what you want and what you need to do. Follow your heart and that jazz, but be ready for any backlash because it'll hurt."
Damien nodded.
"If you ever need to talk, you know I'm here for you. But I can't make these decisions for you."
"Thanks..."
"Hey, look at me," James said. Damien looked up at James's face, feeling relieved at the smiling visage. "It's okay to be confused. Nobody has all the answers. But at least you've got someone who's there for you. Don't know what I'd do if I had to face the world alone."
"Thanks," Damien repeated, more heartily than before. "I appreciate that a lot."
Perhaps it was the excitement of performing again that had lifted Damien's spirits, but what really cemented the upturn in his mood was seeing his band's name on the venue's sign, above the doorway of Kelly's Club in downtown. While they weren't the only act, it was encouraging to see their name there nonetheless:
TONIGHT'S ENTERTAINMENT INCLUDES:
SUBLIMINAL SUPERSONIC
LOXOSCELES LOST CONTROL
"Well, this is it," Anna breathed, unable to contain her own nervousness. She had been talking almost nonstop on the way here, asking for advice and help in staying calm on stage. "Oh my god, I can't believe this is happening!"
"Believe it, Anna," Damien said, amazed by the sight. "We're on our way."
The inside of Kelly's Club was larger than any of the clubs that Damien had played at with Malachite. While half was clearly a restaurant and bar, the back was a massive space for performance, a wide open area with a wooden floor and a stage with lights and--as Warren had been keen to point out--pyrotechnics. A crew was prepping the stage while the first band of the night, Subliminal Supersonic, was doing a sound check. A member of the stage crew rushed over to them with a clipboard.
"Which band are you?" the agitated Rottweiler asked.
"Loxosceles," Warren answered quickly.
The Rottweiler looked down at his list. "Good. You're second. You've got a full hour on stage. Try not to go over, understood?"
"Yes, sir!" Warren said.
"Set your stuff up in the back," the Rottweiler ordered. "Lucy!"
A bored-looking tabby came over, smacking on some gum in her mouth. "What d'you want, Grover?"
"Take them to room three. Get them situated," he ordered. "And spit that damn gum out!"
"No," she said. She turned and started to walk off, not once turning to see if they were following. "Come on, I'm not going to wait for you!"
They hurried after her. Room three, as it transpired, was a dressing room. They entered and set their equipment down while Lucy walked out to "deal with the others", as she so eloquently stated.
"Are all venues going to be this... rude?" Anna wondered.
"Sometimes," Damien replied, "especially if they've got a lot to manage. Can be pretty stressful. So, guys, are you ready? Today's our big debut."
"We'll nail it," Warren assured them, "because we're really fucking awesome."
James chortled while Damien and Anna shook their heads in embarrassment. "Please don't say that on stage," Anna said.
"We'll have the mics so, he won't be able to."
There was a knock on the door and James pulled it open. Lucy was back with a scowl on her face, still chewing on the gum. She looked displeased, but also confused. "You guys are Loxosceles, right? With only four members, right?" She looked down at her clipboard. "A guitarist who sings, a female singer, a bassist, and a drummer, right?"
They looked at her curiously. "Why...?" Damien asked.
"Because there's a tiger who says he's part of your band," she said. "Got a guitar and stuff."
"A tiger?" Anna whispered, but Damien asked, "What's his name?"
"Fuck, I don't remember. Is he friend of yours?" Lucy questioned.
"Yeah, he is!" Damien said excitedly. Lucy shrugged and walked off.
"Damien, what're you doing?" demanded Warren. "Who is this guy?"
Lucy returned before Damien answered, a young tiger in tow. He may have slimmed down since Damien had last seen him and Damien's certainly didn't remember him wearing glasses ever... but there was no mistaking it. Without a second thought, Damien ran over to the tiger, hugging him lovingly.
"EDDY!" he said happily.
"Hey, Damien," Edward Seville replied nicely. "Glad to see you too, buddy."
"I wasn't sure if you'd make it! Are the twins here too?" Damien questioned.
"Yep. Right now, they're saving our spot on the floor. Couldn't get away with saying all of us were in the band." They separated--with what Damien noticed was reluctance--Edward shrugged off the case in which he had carried his guitar. He surveyed the room, taking in the confused stares he was receiving. "Oh, hi, everyone. I'm Ed Seville. Used to be in a band with Damien back home."
"So you're the famous Ed? The one that played with his tail before? I was expecting something else," Warren scoffed.
"Be nice, Warren," James reprimanded gently. "I'm James, that's Warren, and that's Anna. Nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too," Edward answered kindly. "So, this is the new group?"
"Yeah. Our first show together too!" Damien said with a grin so wide that it hurt.
"Cool! They look like really nice people," Edward said. "Wanna catch up before the show?"
"Definitely!" Damien remarked.
"Actually, we've got a few last minute things to go over," Warren interjected. "Like the set list. And our warm-up. And--"
"Don't be a buzzkill," James said kindly, "but he is right."
Damien's smile fell and he looked downward at the floor. "They are kind of right..."
Edward nodded, looking dejected. "Well, they think I'm part of the band so mind if I just chill back here?"
"Make yourself comfortable!" Damien said before anyone could object. "It's great to see you again by the way!"
"You too, Damien," he said.
It was time...
As they made their way onto the stage, the lights dimmed and kept low, Damien was filled with adrenaline. The crowd was cheering as they walked on, Anna walking up to the microphone in the center of the stage beneath the spotlight. She glanced over at Damien, who was nearly invisible in the low light. Damien looked back and tried to smile, though he was just as nervous, if not more so, than her. She leaned into the microphone and began to sing. She wavered slightly in tune, but her voice was powerful.
"You've built a life beyond me
You take away what I am
I've lost control of everything
Once again"
Damien struck the first chord and James and Warren were soon playing along. This song was a perfect opener, not too slow, not too fast, but very energetic. Anna pulled her mic from its stand and stepped forward.
"Take a chance on me again
Please don't turn away from me
Everything is still wide open
For you and me"
Damien leaned forward, towards his own microphone and started to sing, joining in as the lights grew brighter.
"They don't know
They can't understand
All we've seen
And all we've done
Falling through
The darkest night of nights together
Were there two
Let there be only one"
The crowd was growing louder and cheering. Damien's eyes scanned the crowd hopefully. He could already see Edward, with his two other bandmates from back home Kris and Chris, in the front row. They were cheering happily... but where was Thomas and Torrie and Ozzy? Weren't they going to be here? His heart sank, despite the energy flowing through his veins.
Where were they...?
Halfway through the set, Damien moved towards a keyboard, set off to the side of the stage. He played a few notes--yes, it was working nicely--and started to play, a soft ballad that he had written just days ago that he had insisted on adding to the set list. A song he would perform alone called "Gold and Jade". He started to play and could see that the crowd had simmered down from the high energy, but was still attentive. A few had lifted up lighters and cell phones and Damien somehow felt uplifted by the sight.
Then he saw them. A few rows back, visible and waving his phone, he saw Thomas and, beside him, Ozzy and Torrie.
"I feel lost inside your eyes
And I love every second I'm there
I can't get away from you...
Maybe I've completely gone insane
Maybe I've lost my way
Perhaps I don't want to escape
So hear me now
And shine your light on me
I love the way you talk
I love the way you walk
I love your carefree ways
I love your gold and jade
This is wrong and I know it
I don't care, I don't care
Let me savor this moment...
Take away the things in our way
And I know you'll me
The way I see you
So hear me now
And take me away
I love to hear you speak
I'll hold you when you're weak
I love your carefree ways
I love your gold and jade...
I've lost myself before
But never like this
I can't understand where I'm going...
This is wrong, oh so wrong
But the world can't understand
How I feel for you, what I want from you
Oh, why must I live this way...?
I love the way you talk
I love the way you walk
I love your carefree ways
I love your gold and jade
I love to hear you speak
I'll hold you when you're weak
I love your carefree ways
I love that golden jade...
I'll say this once more
Hear me today
Your light shines in the shade
That perfect gold and jade...
The crowd was louder than ever before as Damien stepped back from the keyboard. He held up the microphone triumphantly as he replaced it in the other stand, picking up his guitar from its stand. "You guys want more?" They cheered. "Let me hear you scream! Louder! You want more?!"
They got louder and Damien never felt more alive.
"DAMIEN!"
That was the only warning he got before he was hefted up in a crushing hug. They were out in the parking lot now, putting their equipment into Warren's trunk--the crowd inside was still audible as the last band played. Then, whomever was holding onto him released their grip, just as someone wrenched them apart.
It had taken a few seconds for Damien to process what was going on, but he soon was able to make sense of what was happening. Standing before him was Edward and he had just pushed Thomas away with strength that surprised Damien. He could see the angry look on Edward's face and Thomas had one to match the glare. Soon, they were joined by Ozzy, Torrie, Kris, and Chris.
"The fuck's your problem, dude?!" Thomas yelled.
"Lay off! Who the hell are you anyway?!" Edward countered.
"Who the hell are you?!"
"ENOUGH!" Damien shouted. "Thomas, this is my best friend from back home. This is Ed, remember? I've told you about him. Ed, this is my roommate, Thomas."
An uncomfortable pause hung in the air as Edward fumbled for words and Thomas waited for an apology.
"Well, this is awkward," Chris murmured.
"Very," Kris agreed.
"He got jealous," Chris remarked.
"Doesn't he always?" Kris added.
"I'm sorry," Edward said, talking louder than the twin foxes to ensure he was heard. "I just kind of... I'm sorry..."
"It's fine," Thomas answered bitterly. "Just forget it. But... Damien, man, you rocked out! I'm impressed. Didn't think you could rock a stage like that!"
"Thanks," Damien answered sheepishly. "I'm glad you made it!"
"We were going to head back to the dorm. Celebrate, you know? Just kind of a congratulations for an awesome performance," Thomas said. "You in?"
"I'll be along shortly," Damien assured him. "I'd really like to catch up with my old band."
Thomas nodded and let out a small huff. "Okay. I understand. Maybe we'll celebrate tomorrow?"
"Yeah," Damien said. "We can."
"Actually," Edward said, "I was kind of hoping you'd be free tomorrow. I don't have any classes on Monday so you and I can catch up. You know, hang out a bit."
Damien looked up at him and nodded eagerly. "Definitely! I'd love to!"
"Oh," Thomas grumbled. "That's fine! Go on, have fun. We'll catch up with you soon, okay?"
"Yep!" Damien said. "Sounds like a plan."
"By the way, I'm not happy with you," Damien said as he got into Edward's car. The twins got into the backseat and had stopped their chatter to listen intently to what was being said. Everyone else had left a few minutes ago, leaving the old members of Malachite to themselves.
"Where'd that come from?" Edward wondered. "What'd I do?"
"Why'd you push Thomas like that?" Damien asked.
"Sorry," Edward scoffed. "I just kind reacted. I didn't know who he was! And besides, who knows? For all we knew, he could've been some thief or murderer or something. I mean, I remember getting a text from you saying you were shot by a thief."
"That was a while ago."
"Yeah, whatever. My point is, I just got paranoid," Edward confessed. "You're lucky it was just Thomas."
"Who'd you think it was?" Damien asked.
Edward was about to respond but he stopped, looking into the backseat. Damien followed his gaze, looking at the twins who were speaking to each other in a hushed Esperanto, a habit that they hadn't ditched in forever. It took a while for them to realize they were being looked at.
"What're you two talking about?" Damien asked.
"Jealous tiger," Kris said.
"Angry husky," Chris said.
"Love triangle," Kris remarked.
"Soap opera," Chris chortled.
"What love triangle?" Damien wondered.
"You, the tiger, and the panther," Chris said.
"Got a thing for the big cats, don't you?" Kris teased.
"I do not!" Damien huffed with burning cheeks.
Edward started to laugh as he listened to the back-and-forth. Yes, this was certainly like old times. "Let's get some dinner. What're you guys up for? My treat."
"Burger," Chris said.
"I'll settle for a burger," Kris said.
"There's a really good burger place not too far from here," Damien said. "It's really good. Want to give it a try?"
"Yeah, sure. Just tell me where I'm going."
"Dude, that was painful to watch," Ozzy chuckled as he entered Thomas's dorm behind him.
"What was?" Thomas wondered.
"Watching the skinny tiger push you like little bitch," Ozzy laughed. "What happened to that muscle? Did it disappear?"
"Fuck off," Thomas snarled. "I'm not in the mood."
"Okay, then let's change the subject," Ozzy insisted. "What's with that weird glare you were giving him? If I didn't know better, I'd say you were jealous of the tiger. After all, he gets to spend all day tomorrow with your husky."
"He's not 'my husky', Oswald," Thomas said. "And I'm not jealous. I don't do 'jealous'."
"I call that bullshit salad," Ozzy said with a smirk. "You do get jealous but I've never seen you like this." He paused for a moment, glancing around the room. "Isn't that Damien's bed you're laying on?"
Thomas thought for a moment. "I suppose."
"Aww, you miss your husky!"
"I don't!"
"You do!"
"I DON'T!"
"Keep it down. People are trying to sleep," Ozzy said playfully. Within seconds, a pillow had hit him in the face. He chuckled as he threw it back. "Sorry. Didn't think you'd take it so personally."
"I'm not... I'm just thinking... He did a really good job today, didn't he?" Thomas acknowledged with a smile.
"Yeah, he did..."
There was a knock on Anna's dorm door and she found herself roused by the sound. She glanced at the door, but the knock persisted and her roommate, Elisa, groaned in irritation. Hurriedly, Anna jumped up and answered the door to stop the knocking. On the other side was Torrie, looking nervous and visibly upset.
"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked kindly, surprised that Torrie even know where to find her. "What're you doing here?"
"We need to talk," Torrie replied, "about one of your band's songs."
"Which one?"
"'Gold and Jade'."