The Quest for the Holy Dildo #21

Story by bluedraggy on SoFurry

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#24 of Holy Dildo

A different kind of Red wedding. (See, Red is the nickname of the argonian getting married. Clever, no? No? Oh... sorry.)

In which transparent bridesmaids dresses are revealed, Ubergard gets to bring her security axe, and another naked procession through the streets of Whiterun commences.


| The big day had finally arrived in Whiterun. Though the Jarl had made clear to everyone his intent to keep the wedding low-key, it was all Muz-Ra could do to keep the well-wishers at bay. She had stayed with her friends the previous two nights in the room at the Bannered Mare, where they had treated her to a bachelorette party that was as bawdy as she was. Fortunately it had been a private party and the things that went on there were well kept secrets by all her friends and the employees as well as the male "entertainers" that had been hired.

But that was night before last. Last night the tavern had reopened to the public and she had retired at a reasonable hour with her closest friends, Ubergard and Kitty, who were with her now as she got ready for her wedding to the Jarl. | image | | "For a low-key wedding, you know you're going to make a hell of an entrance!" Kitty said as she adjusted her transparent dress for the millionth time.

"I know. But this is what_should_ have happened all those months ago. Besides, the citizens sort of expect it from me now. They get to see their future queen in-the-buff one last time. I can't deny them that!"

"Who do you think you're fooling?" Ubergard asked, looking down at herself. "You get off strolling around in public naked as the day you were hatched! Did it ever occur to you that_some_ people have this thing called modesty?" | image | | "Oh, please Uber," Kitty interjected. "For the last time... shut it. Either wear it or don't go. You volunteered for this, remember? Where's that Warrior's Spirit I hear you and K'rris talking about all the time?"

Ubergard looked surprisingly pitiable. "But... I'm totally exposed in this! I might as well be as naked as Red."

"Hey! At least your puppies are held down and won't bounce around and hit you in the snout!"

Kitty suddenly looked up. "Wait! I have an idea. Just a second..." | image | | She went out to the balcony and came back in with Ubergard's massive weapon, Virgindruung. "Here. Wear this!"

The giant Argonian smiled and closed her eyes at it's comforting weight.

"Better?" Kitty asked. | image | | "Much better. Is it okay if I wear this at least Red?"

"Sure! Not going to stop people from looking at your boobs though," Muz-Ra smiled.

Ubergard looked at Muz-Ra with eyes sparkling, "No, but it will sure as hell stop anyone from staring at them for too long." | image | | "Hey!" Muz-Ra warned. "No killing the spectators!"

Kitty sat back on the bed and was joined by the other two. "So Red, how are you feeling? Nervous?"

"About parading naked through the town again? Not a chance."

"No, about marrying the Jarl?"

"Oh... that. Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I don't know why I should be. I've been married before you know."

| image | | "I've heard you say that. You don't talk about it much though."

"Naa. It didn't work out. It was my fault though. We still keep in touch sometimes. He's working up around Solitude now somewhere. But he needed someone more stable than me. You may not believe it, but I was pretty wild in my youth."

"Who would have believed it?" Ubergard snorted. | image | | A familiar voice called from below. "We're all ready Red!"

Muz-Ra looked to Kitty desperately for a second.

"Don't think about the wedding for now, Red. Just think about strutting your naked body in front of all those strangers."

The Argonian closed her eyes for a moment, then re-opened them with a large, toothy grin. "That is better! I bet some of the men will start jerking it the minute they see me!"

"Sure they will! Women will be rubbing themselves against any nearby pole." | image | | Muz-Ra stood, puffed out her already ample chest, and headed out of the room with only the traditional Amulet of Mara for clothing.

"Mustn't keep my public waiting!" she called and confidently strode down the stairs to where the rest of her bridesmaids were waiting.

Kitty noticed Bhusaran kept her traditional white boots on.

"Glad you could make it Bhusaran! Can I assume H will be at Dragonsreach?"

"He wouldn't miss it for the world, Red. I hope you don't mind the boots. They're my security blanket."

"No problem! Well... Ladies?" she called with the confidence of a wartime General. "Let 'em have it!" | image | | "Cheetah? What's wrong with Udaran? She looks a little... wobbly," Kitty asked.

Cheetah looked at her lover affectionately. "It took a little lubrication to get her into the dress. Alcoholic lubrication that is... Maybe a little too much."

"Nobody can see me!" Udaran half-whispered to Kitty, the smell of drink heavy around her. "...all looking at Red. You can't see me can you?"

"Not at all,Udie," Kitty assured her. "You're practically invisible." | image |