Luke (chap. 4)- ignorance
#4 of Luke
As I prepared for school that morning, a feeling of uneasiness settled in the pit of my stomach. I was afraid of what people in our school would do when they found out that me and Luke were dating, which I was sure they already knew seeing as the news that two boys were dating tends to spread pretty fast in a neighborhood like mine. I pulled on my jeans then walked downstairs and grabbed a pop tart. Finally, at 6:47, I slung my backpack over my shoulder and walked up to the top of my street where the bus picks me up every morning. I stood there waiting in the ice cold winter weather for about five minutes before I finally saw the flashing yellow lights of the bus turning the corner as it pulled up to my stop. As I got on the bus I could almost feel the eyes following me as I walked down the aisle to the seat where Luke and I usually sat. When I got there I found Luke sitting there alone, head down staring at his feet. As I approached the seat Luke glanced up, noticed me standing there and quickly scooted over to make room for me in the seat next to him. As I sat down Luke uttered a quiet "hey". "how did it go last night?", I asked, beginning to feel a bit concerned. I could tell something was wrong, Luke was usually pretty energetic and talkative, I had never seen him acting like this except for once when one of our best friends got mad and cussed him out in front of our entire social studies class. "My dad spent about ten minutes screaming at me about how gays are all freaks and that the only reason I think I'm gay is because I've been hanging out with gays too much. Then he threatened to send me away to a camp to be "fixed"." Luke replied, starting to tear up, " I tried to tell him that it wasn't my choice and that my friends had nothing to do with it but he wouldn't hear it. After a while I stopped, I was getting scared", Luke was sobbing now, not even trying to hide. "I know it's not a choice but I'm scared. He looked mad enough to hit me, I'm pretty sure if I hadn't stopped talking he would have too.". completely ignoring the eyes that were still watching, now with more interest than ever, I leaned in and gave Luke a hug, "well, the one thing you count on is the fact that I'll always love you. No matter what your dad or anyone else says or does". Between sobs he managed to squeeze out a quiet "thanks" followed by a hug and an "I love you". We spent the rest of the ride with twenty pairs of eyes on us and Luke's head on my shoulder as he continued to cry.
By the time our bus pulled up to the front door of the school Luke's crying had pretty much ceased, although his eyes were still red. As we walked through the school's hallway on the way to advisory people would turn to watch us pass, Some with looks of disgust or hatred, some with look's of indifference and a very small number of people with looks of admiration. When we finally reached our lockers we were surprised to find Ashley there, waiting for us. She looked up, saw us coming, shouted "hey guys" and began making her way over to us. " I'm guessing you've already noticed that the news kinda got out" she said , just as a passing couple turned to stare at us. "what's wrong with him?" she asked, looking at Luke with worry in her eyes. "he's just having some... um... family problems" I replied. "dad found out huh?" she replied. "yeah" Luke replied. just then the bell signaling the beginning of advisory rang and the crowd of furs in the hallway began to disperse. "Catch ya later!" Ashley shouted, leaving us to grab our things and head off to our advisory room.
As we entered the room everyone's eyes predictably drifted towards us. I tried to ignore them as Luke and I walked to our usual seats in the back of the room and sat down. A few people continued to stare at us as if waiting for us to randomly start making out or something but the rest of the class got bored and turned away to continue their conversations, which I'm sure quite a few of had to do with Luke and me. Finally at 7:20 our advisor, Miss. Arnolds, entered the room and told everyone to be quiet for announcements. As we were listening to the principal drone on about how picture day was coming up I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to find Kaitlin Matthews sitting behind me. "what is it?" I asked, trying to keep my voice low enough to keep Miss. Arnolds from hearing. "Are you and Luke really dating now?" she asked. "yes" I replied quietly. "no way!" she shouted, a little too loud causing Miss. Arnolds to turn in our direction and bark "quiet!". "sorry" she whispered, turning back to her friends so she could share my response with her friends.
Our first three classes of the day went by pretty well, by second period most people had stopped staring when they realized we weren't going to do anything gossip worthy. Thankfully I didn't have gym this quarter so I didn't have to deal with any painfully awkward locker room situations. Finally lunch time came around and Luke and I sat down the table with Ashley and peter. I quickly noticed that Ryan wasn't sitting with us like he usually does, I looked around and noticed he was sitting at a table on the other side of the room. When I questioned Ashley about this she suddenly got angry "Well, our "friend" Ryan had a little episode of homophobia this morning in advisory and since he wouldn't shut up I may have um... "helped him" stop talking... with a fist" she replied, grinning as she explained the last part. Luke and I got a laugh out of that, if there was a girl in our school that shouldn't be fucked with it was definitely Ashley, She's nice but she has a short temper and a hard punch. "well that explains the red spot on his forehead" I replied "honestly, I'm not surprised, he never really hid the fact that he was pretty homophobic". "so" Ashley began "what'cha going to do about your dad?" Ashley asked, turning to look at Luke. Luke's smile quickly faded, "I.. I'm not sure..." he said. "don't worry, I'll help you with him" I said, leaning in to give Luke a little peck on the cheek. when I pulled away I noticed Peter had an odd Look on his face. "I'm sorry, does that bother you? If it does just say so and I won't do it around you, I don't want you feeling awkward whenever I'm around" I offered. "no, it's okay, it's just... strange, seeing my best friends kissing, especially since I didn't even know you were gay 'till Saturday. But I guess I'll get used to it" Peter replied. Just then Mr. Stuart came by and dismissed us.
The rest of the day went by fairly fast and as the final bell rang Luke and I made our way to our bus. We spent the bus ride home pretty much the same way we did on the way to school, my arm around Luke's shoulders and his head on my shoulder as we ignored the eyes staring at us.
When I got home I threw myself down on my bed and began daydreaming about Luke. Just as my dreaming started to turn erotic my phone started and I rushed to answer it. "hello?" I said. I heard Luke's voice say something too faint to hear on the other side of the line. "Luke?" I asked "Is something wrong?". "help.." he whimpered on the other end of the line, then all I could hear was the sound of the connection being broken, then.... silence.
wow... that didn't take nearly as long as I thought it would.
feedback is appreciated, Thanks!
ive added a journal that gives some background info on Luke if anyones interested