A Morning From Hell
This story was an experimental piece, with the (oddly specific) idea provided to me by a member of r/furry on Reddit.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
A paw reached out from under a pile of blankets and whacked the alarm clock to the floor. Upon impact, its annoying screech stopped. Max the raccoon lifted his head from the pillow, revealing a head of matted fur and messy ears. Sitting upright, he stretched and let out an audible yawn. The light shone through his dark curtains more intensely than he anticipated, leading him to believe it was much later than he hoped.
What time is it...and why was my alarm set again...
Suddenly coming to, he swung his legs over the bed and pressed his paw pads against the hardwood floor. I'm gonna be late for my meeting with the producer!
His movement awakened someone next to him, and soon another raccoon with long hair raised her head above the sea of blankets.
"Ngh...I told you to set more than one alarm."
"Yeah, yeah you did babe." Max ran into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Wincing at his appearance, he splashed water on his face and brushed his sharp teeth.
"Babe, did you throw my clothes in with yours last night?" He poked his head back into the bedroom. Did Claire fall back asleep...
"CLAIRE."
"WHAT MAX?! I have the afternoon shift and for once in my life I get to sleep in but NOOOO..."
"I. am. NAKED."
She looked up, now slightly interested. "Oh. Yeah I washed your clothes with mine late last night. But it was dark, hopefully I didn't drop anything."
Max ran into the washroom and lifted the lid of the dryer. He stuck his hand in, rummaging around for his shirt. After feeling it towards the bottom of the barrel, he quickly threw it on and ran back into the bedroom to find his pants. Lucky for him, the bedroom closet door contained a full size mirror, revealing to him that the piece of fabric that was once his dark blue business shirt had become a light blue and white tie-dyed mess. He turned around slowly to face the bed.
"Claire, darling."
"Ngh...whaaaaaaat Max?"
"Did you, oh I dunno...REPLACE THE SOAP WITH CLOROX BLEACH_?!_
Claire sat upright immediately and stared at him with wide eyes. "Oh shit."
"I am so so so screwed."
"No, no we can fix this. Uhhh..." Claire paced from one side of the room to the other, her claws tak-tak-taking on the ground. "I know! What time is it?"
"It's 7:30, and my meeting is at 8:00."
"I had your Christmas present sent by DHL a few days ago. It should be here this morning, since they start deliveries around sunrise. Guess Christmas is coming early for you. Go check the door."
Feeling hopeful, Max kissed Claire and ran to the front door. On the steps sat a small cardboard box. He stepped outside and bent down to grab the box when a familiar voice called from across the street.
"Morning neighbor!" A bright red fox smiled at him and waved. He was also receiving a package from the deliverycat, who pulled away quickly upon noticing Max outside.
Max stood up to wave when he noticed the fox's expression change. Slowly looking down, he realized that he still wasn't wearing any pants. Without a moment to spare, he grabbed the package from the freezing cold and pulled it inside the warmth of his house. He ran through the kitchen and stumbled back into the bedroom. "Moment of truth!" Max shredded open the box with his claws and looked in at its contents. He should've seen this coming.
"You ordered me assorted meats and cheeses?"
Claire pushed Max aside and dumped out the box. "Do you think I'm stupid? This isn't your gift. I had a suit tailor made for you."
"Well, you've got some fashion sense. As much as I'd love to wear meat and cheese to work, something tells me that fox across the street got my package and I got his. He seems like the 'meats and cheeses' type."
Max started toward the front door. Claire took one look at him and yelled, "PANTS."
As he turned, a pair of boxer shorts landed across his snout. He threw them on and ran across the street. "Hey, you've got my package!"
As the fox stepped inside, he heard Max and turned around. "Oh?"
Max, still running, failed to notice the long rope separating his neighbor's yard from the street. Seeing it at the last possible second did nothing, and he plunged headfirst over the rope and into the snow. Facedown in the snow in a bleached shirt and boxers, Claire opened the front door and couldn't help but giggle. Max admitted defeat as his digital clock struck eight.