Serenifi: The Video Game: Cutscene Script
(A bright light shines in the fore center, then we zoom out to reveal the light is a torch being held up by Serenity Coyote, with a book in her other hand, with a conspicuous purple-and-white tail, plus two purple legs, sticking out from underneath her tunic, and pieces of text appear above titled: "Serenifi Pictures", all while a magnificent fanfare is playing in the background.)
Intro:
(We cut to Serenity and Fifi walking along the sidewalk in Acme Acres. Cut to Montana Max, with his hair dyed blonde, and wearing a blue suit, peeking out from behind a boulder, chuckling evilly. Cut back to Serenity and Fifi.)
Serenity: Nice of Pandora to invite us over for a second slumber party, eh, Fifi?
Fifi: I hope she has lots of Baguettes!
Serenity: OK, I know you come from French descent and all, and I deeply respect that, in fact, its one of the things about you that turns me on, but, come on. Was that really necessary?
Fifi: What? I'm just opening up a suggestion.
Serenity: Fifi, look! (She takes a note from a nearby wall.) Its from Lexi! "Dear lovebirds, I am here in your time and location because your future is in dire need of help. Help that only you two, with some assistance of course, can provide. Please come on down behind the Weenie Burger for more specification. Love you two! -Lexi Bunny." We gotta find Lexi!
Fifi: (Pointing at the audience): And YOU'VE gotta help us!
Serenity: If you need instructions on how to do whatever we're gonna do later on, check out the Enclosed Instruction Book. If, for any reason, your copy of this game DOESN'T come with the Enclosed Instruction Book, and you have a zero-percentage of strong access to the internet, then you're royally screwed.
(Fade to Black)
Intro 2:
(We cut to Serenity and Fifi arriving at the Weenie Burger, as they come across Lexi Bunny, along with some other female characters. Everyone is talking at once, until they are interrupted.)
Babs: (Out of breath) Sorry I'm late, guys! (Normal) Who's she here?
Lexi: Hillary Clinton.
Babs: What?
Lexi: I'm your f***ing descendant!
Babs: Oh.
Lexi: Anyway, you may be wondering what the hell you are all doing here?
Rhubella: I couldn't be wondering anymore. I'm with all these Acme Loosers.
Lexi: Hey, this affects you too! Now, you are here because Montana Max has recently won the Acme Acres election for mayor, and, thanks to Social Media, I have discovered that he is planning to do terrible things to our town. So terrible that I can't go into detail or the censors will ban us. You see, he has once again raided a time machine, except this time, he is raiding it while it is still being produced, and, while unfinished, it is still operational.
Apparent King in Orange: Hmmm... Montana will make Acme Acres great again!
Lexi: Now, the only way we can come close to stopping him... (Looks at the king, who has a derpy grin on his face.)
AKO: Montana will make Acme Ac...
Lexi: No, dude. Montana will make it worse.
AKO: Better.
Lexi: Worse.
AKO: Better!
Lexi: Worse!
AKO: BETTER!
Lexi: (To her companions) Ignore him. Montana will make it worse, trust me.
AKO: Hmm... How can WE help?
Lexi: Well, to make a long story short, only young women can defeat Montana.
AKO: I'll help.
Lexi: How?
AKO: I'll call him "my boy", and he will immediately change his ways.
(Cut to Lexi, with an unamused look on her face.)
Lexi: Only young women can defeat Montana.
AKO: I'll help.
Lexi: Only they can defeat Montana.
AKO: I'll help.
Lexi: Only... (Looks at AKO) Young women... (Looks back) Not middle-aged men... (Looks back) Can defeat Montana.
AKO: I'm going to Montana's mansion to aid you.
Lexi: F***! Screw it, you AND young women can defeat Montana.
Shirley: Like, great! I'll, like, grab some Uzis and junk!
Lexi: There is no time. Your bodies are enough.
Shirley: What?
Lexi: You see, in the year 2772, our country is abundant in costumes that emit powerful beams with the capability to vaporize anyone. Unfortunately, that won't be until the year 2663. However, I have discovered that we can harness such power in this time by... (Leans into a big circle, and whispers, before they all emerge, and look at each other in disbelief.)
Rhubella: Weeelll... I'm sure you will discover some alternative, and use that to solve our problem, so...
(Rhubella gets grabbed by the tail by Lexi)
Lexi: Oh no you don't!
AKO: I'll take the triforce of courage to protect me!
Lexi: There is no time! Your... (Looks at him in disgust) Availability is enough!
Serenity: (To her father, Wile E. Coyote) How about a kiss, for luck?
(Wile E. kisses her on the cheek.)
AKO: (To Hello Nurse) How about a kiss, for luck?
Nurse: I'm coming with you, retard!
(Cut to everyone on a... Magic carpet.)
Lexi: Squadalla-la-ding-dong! We're off!
Serenity: Wow! What the f*** are those freaky things?
Lexi: These are the faces of...
AKO: Dinner!
Lexi: Come again?
AKO: I wonder what's for dinner!
Lexi: It's 9 in the morning!
AKO: Dinner in the morning!
Lexi: There is no time!
AKO: My ship sails in the morning!
(Cut to Lexi with an unamused look on her face.)
(Zoom out to show the carpet in the air, as a punching sound is heard, and we see the man fall.)
AKO: WWWOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
(We then hear a splash.)
Lexi: Where were we? Oh, right! Those freaky things are the faces of capitalism. You must conquer each.
Serenity: I guess we better get going!
Lexi: Here is the Google Map! Where do you wish to go?
(Fade to black)
Greeting from Pepe:
Pepe Le Pew: Strap-ons, costumes, dildos... You want it? Its yours, my friend. As long as you have enough attraction to me!
Intro to Stage 1:
(Cut to the gang arriving at a tree with a sign hanging from that thickest branch, saying: "Nothing evil or con-spiritual to see here!")
Serenity: Looks kinda peaceful...
(A whole load of guns emerge from the branches, aiming at the gang.)
Lexi: You know what? Fine. I'll save you just this once.
(Lexi then shoots the guns with beams from her ears. The leftovers fall from the tree. Dot then kneels down to allow the rest of the gang to climb on top of her and reach the top of the tree. But Minerva accidentally cracks her back when she steps onto her.)
Dot: (Looking up) Uh... Little help here? Oh, well. I'll be playable in this level anyway...
Intro To Stage 2:
(Montana jumps down from the tree, followed by the gang, and some anthropomorphic colored female ponies. They look up to see some apples growing on the branches.)
Lexi: Well... Thank God those apples are growing, I mean its not like they were just growing randomly without any connection to our conflict.
(Cut to Pandora Coyote standing on a branch and waving.)
Fifi: Hey, Pandora!
(The branch falls off.)
Pandora: Ohh!
(Pandora is then caught by Montana, who races toward a mansion, and walks onto the walls, before falling off seconds later.)
Montana: (Mumbling while going through his keys.) Retarded Malwart salesman said these magnetic shoes would work!
Fifi: How are we gonna find Pandora with the shitty electricity?
Serenity: Maybe there's a switch somewhere. Remind me to check. Seriously, you gotta remind me to look for the switch, cause its pretty important, I mean we're all gonna die if you don't remind me so...
(Fade to black)
Midway through Stage 2:
(Cut to Serenity entering a room with 5 females tied up and gagged nude and bending over on the floor.)
Serenity: Aha! Here's the problem! Too many electric dildos!
(Cut to the outlet, which is stuffed with plugs connecting to the tools.
Serenity: (Holding up a tube of lube.) You know what they say... Uhh... (Struggles for a few seconds) Screw it, I'll just ad-lib... All dildos become loose with lube! (Then holds her hand up to her head, and imitates a gunshot.)
(Cut to her hand pouring some lube into the outlet, loosening the plugs.)
(Cut to the dildos emerging from the females behinds, and the power coming back.)
Sailor Moon: Oh, thank God! I should have just beat him up when I had the chance, instead of just spending 6 hours getting my completely unpractical uniform on!
(Fade to black.)
Intro to Stage 3:
(Cut to Serenity, Fifi, Lexi, and the rest of the gang hammering a sign on the building saying: "Fire your nukes here.")
Serenity: That ought-ta do it!
(Cut to Pandora standing on a chute, before immediately being sucked into it.)
Serenity: Where'd she go? In fact, why was she standing on that chute in the first place?
(Lexi points to a cave with the words: "Montana's Insert Mine Related Pun Here Mine".)
Fifi: What makes you zink zey are in zere?
Lexi: Telekinesis, duh.
(They all walk over to the cave.)
Serenity: Gee, its kinda dark...
Fifi: You bring a light?
Serenity: (With a flashlight in her shirt.) No.
Lexi: Well, maybe one of Montana's minions will lend us his, if we "persuade" him...
(They walk inside.)
Clarice: Hey you! Gimme that light!
Lexi: No, I didn't mean like that!
(Some punching sound-effects are heard, as the camera shakes, and we see some stars and stuff firing out of the cave, before Clarice gets kicked out, with her clothes reduced to a rag.)
(Fade to black)
Halfway through Stage 3:
(Cut to Serenity walking under a chute.)
Serenity: Uh-oh!
(She then gets sucked into the chute. We then cut to her travelling through it, and then to her falling out the other end, and landing on a trampoline, sending her back in.)
(Cut back to the original area, where we see Serenity landing on the floor.)
Serenity: Where am I? (Looks around.) Well... THAT added a lot...
(Fade to black)
Intro to Stage 4:
(Cut to the gang, as well as some stylized anthropomorphic animals, running out of the cave, just as it explodes, and Pandora flys out.)
Pandora: (In a ghostly-sounding voice, yeah I don't get it either.) SERENITY!
Serenity: Get ready to catch her!
Fifi: She's not coming down!
Lexi: She's up there! (Points to a castle in the sky.)
Sally Acorn: Why do you say that?
Lexi: I got telekinesis, OK?
(Cut to the gang as they notice a cube. Lexi kicks it, but nothing happens. She kicks it again countless more times.)
(Cut to everyone hitting the cube with sledgehammers, axes, and clubs.)
(Cut to everyone shooting the cub with Uzis.)
(Cut to everyone firing rocket-launchers at the cube.)
(Cut to Lexi as she races out of the area, then cut to the map of the world, where we se a dotted line racing towards Southeast Asia, then back to California. Cut to Lexi arriving with a huge vehicle containing ballistic missiles, before aiming them at the cube, then firing them.)
(Cut to everyone covered in charcoal, with the cube still there, unharmed. Lexi then flicks the cube, causing it to fall apart. She then notices another cube right next to her. She kicks it, and a beanstalk grows out, as everyone grabs hold of it.)
Serenity: It's hard to see through those clouds. I hope we can get rid of them! Get the hint? (Seconds of silence.) No? Oh, well, best of luck to you.
(Fade to black)
Halfway through Stage 4:
(Cut to Serenity coming upon a huge button with the words: "Insert fan-related pun here" above it.)
Serenity: Aha!
(She pushes the button. Cut to the clouds in front of the castle clearing away.)
(Fade to black)
Intro to Stage 5:
(Cut to the gang, as well as some women with wands in schoolgirl uniforms leaving the castle, as a robot approaches right outside.)
Serenity: Hey you! Get off of my cloud! Well... Not MY cloud, but, you know what I mean!
(Cut to the castle and robot being blown away.)
(Cut to Pandora, before she vanishes somehow.)
Serenity: It's been one of those days... Come on everyone!
(Cut to the gang climbing down the beanstalk, then heading toward another castle, on the ground.)
Serenity: We ain't afraid of no capitalists!
(The door suddenly vanishes, for some reason.)
Fifi: Sacre bleu!
(The door reappears.)
Lexi: Hurry! (Holds the door for a few seconds.)
Serenity: Well?
Lexi: Just be patient, wait for it...
(Fade to black.)
Halfway through Stage 5:
(Cut to Serenity entering a bathroom, and looking at the open shelf.)
Serenity: (While picking up a "Anti-Robot" spray-can.) Aha! Maybe THIS will keep that brat from bothering us!
(Cut to Serenity spraying the can in her face.)
Serenity: AAAAHHHH! OH GOD IT BURNS!
(Fade to black)
Intro to Stage 6:
(Cut to the gang, along with a blonde female skunk and a female wolf, running out of the castle, just as it crumbles to pieces.)
Serenity: Spooky... And by "spooky", I mean "Holy shit that building just fell down!" Where's Pandora?
Lexi: Over there! (Points at yet another mansion.)
Meredith: Like, what makes you think...
Lexi: (Sing-song voice) Telekinesis!
Serenity: Be careful! When you pinch Montana's pennies, they pinch back!
(Cut to the rest of the gang, with unamused looks on their faces, with a few clapping.)
Serenity: Hehe... Sorry, I can't help myself...
(Fade to black.)
Halfway through Stage 6:
(Cut to Serenity breaking a large piggy-bank, allowing a whole pile of coins to spill out. The piggy-bank immediately starts screaming in horror.)
Serenity: So THIS is where Montana hid the real coins!
(Fade to black.)
Intro to Final Stage:
(Cut to the gang, along with some female skunks, foxes, and other assorted species leaving the mansion.)
Serenity: THAT wasn't so hard, was it?
(The mansion suddenly disappears, right before Pandora arrives.)
Pandora: Guys, and people I barely know!
(Pandora suddenly disappears, as some laughter is heard.)
Fifi: That's that irritating "Ha-Ha, I win" laugh!
Lexi: Look!
(Cut to a huge cloud of smoke clearing, revealing a huge castle surrounded by lava.)
Lexi: This is is, guys...
Sabrina: You sure she's...
Lexi: MONTANA'S IN THE WINDOW FOR F*** SAKE!
(Zoom in inside the castle to reveal Montana Max on the phone.)
Montana: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT GIVING UP YOUR WEAPONS?! DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH?! (He then hits a nearby button.)
(Zoom back outside to reveal some missiles emerging, and departing, followed by some booming noises, while the camera shakes. Cut to Montana laughing maniacally.)
Serenity: Remember... Where there's smoke...
Fifi: There's fire...
Serenity: And there's a bridge right over the lava, so we don't need to worry about that!
(Fade to black.)
Finale:
(Cut to the whole gang, including Pandora and her friends racing out of the castle, just as it explodes. When the dust clears, the landscape is peaceful, as a blonde wig slowly descends onto the ground. Pandora observes.)
Pandora: Thanks to you all, I can safely sleep with my friends every so often, free from the grasp of inexperienced candidates...
(She kisses Serenity.)
Serenity: Hohoho!
(She kisses Fifi.)
FIfi: Ahhh...
(She kisses Lexi.)
GOD KNOWS HOW MANY MORE KISSES LATER...
Pandora: (Facing the camera.) And my thanks to you too...
(Cut to everyone heading off into the sunset.)
Everyone: You're the best player ever! Unless you didn't follow any of the hints we hammered in, in which case, you're the WORST player ever!
(Fade to black.)
THE END.
All characters belong to their respective owners! The following is used for satirical, and non-profit purposes only! Enjoy the cheesiness and subliminal messages!