FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Chapter 10: Recovery and Routine

It seems Alpha wants to stay the night again in my residential container, like she doesn't trust me to not do something stupid. Not that I was planning on doing something stupid, like harming myself. Without a way to safely escape, there isn't anything I can do other than trudge through each day. When I lay down and curl up on the cot to go to sleep, Alpha moves to lay down behind me. If this is the new normal with her, then I guess I could get used to it. Then again, nothing that has happened to me since the human Jack died has been normal. It certainly isn't normal to have thoughts of suicide, even if I'm not going to go through with it. These thoughts are silenced as her occasional petting and the general silence lull me into a thankfully dreamless sleep.

As much as I wanted it to, nothing stops morning from coming, and with it being woken up by Alpha's stirring as she does the same. I am amazed that she can wake up without an alarm, maybe its something she can teach? Or maybe it is something I'm just going to learn myself since the start time for our 'job' never changes. I guess I'll ask her about it when I know the words for it.

Speaking of learning the language, as soon as I am awake enough to properly eat some food Alpha starts today's language lesson. Like always its just a couple of words at a time - or if I'm lucky, three or four related ones - then practicing them as much as time allows.

The lesson ends all too quickly for my liking, compared to what I have to do the rest of the day: waiting tables for no pay. Both of us quickly get dressed in some underwear and cheap robes made to look like kimonos. We then brace ourselves for the bitter cold outside on our short walk to our 'job'.

Outside of my container both of us make a mad dash down the walkway, across the freezing pavement, and into the restaurant. Keeping pace with us are the other Bio-Morphs. God damnit, why don't they let us have some SHOES!?

We head right for our 'locker' room to exchange our clothes for a clean set once we make it inside. I take a moment to look myself over as I change; I notice that I'm one of the better endowed vixens here. That is all I have time to do considering we don't have long before we have to be up front and wait for customers. Leaving the locker room, I pick up an order-tracking device from its charger just like everyone else on our way to the front of the restaurant. My anxiety grows as we wait for the first customers of the day. Will they ignore the fact that they can't order me for special services? What will happen if we get another bunch of trust fund teens who bother us for shits and giggles?

Unconsciously I start to back up, but Alpha stops me from behind and gently pushes me back in line with everyone else. The only thing I can do in protest is let out a whine, which earns me a light nose bop from her as a way of saying 'don't do that.'

Any further complaints from me are cut short when the first customers arrive - Alpha assigns them to me.

Like most of the people who come in for breakfast, they are an elderly couple. I don't pay much attention to their conversation as I take their order. It's mostly about reminiscing on the good old days at the turn of the millennium. How, even though they are wealthy enough to at least have some kind of retirement, they still lack any social services to help them in their golden years, and how their parents were lucky to be the last generation with an official retirement. It surprises me: they must be just wealthy enough to eat here.

I decide to ignore their conversation and let my thoughts wander elsewhere. Focusing on my 'job', I go to take care of another customer while the first couple's meal is cooked. When I return to their table later to deliver their food, their conversation has moved from their retirement to a more general 'things were better in our day' spiel. These people don't know how good they have it right now... One day they could end up in one of those conversion tanks like I did. Then again, they might welcome the fact that they'd be several years younger once they get out. On the other paw, I should be grateful myself for how things turned out: after all I could have been bought by a worse place than this.

Soon the normal breakfast rush is in full swing, making me concentrate solely on keeping track of the multiple customers I'm serving. As soon as I finish entering one order, I have to go deliver the food for the previous one. As a side effect I can't spare the time to dwell on what happened.

Yet the morning rush ends faster than I want it to, giving me unwanted time to focus on my thoughts and feelings. Who am I now? I know I'm not the Jack that lived at the jobless center with his mother and friend, the Jack that went into that trap of an interview...

What I am now physically is a Platinum Silver-Gray vixen Bio-Morph, but underneath the fur and skin am I number twenty, or am I some new version of Jack? I have his memories, but does that make me him? Can I even use that name anymore? If I can't, what should I call myself? I know for a fact that I'm not going to use 'Number Twenty' as my name, that would be letting Christopher and his father win.

Watching the other Bio-Morphs work reminds me to try to make myself look busy since Christopher and his father are watching us right now. Alpha is manning Red's station and I don't know if she's glad the task means she's unavailable for special services.

Eventually we run out of tasks to do, and the other Vixens start to congregate on this side of the rice paper wall, the non-handicapped access side of the restaurant. I feel an urge to join them, but with my limited grasp of the Bio-Morph language I have no clue what they're talking about. I can pick out a few things like 'Alpha' and stuff about Alpha or Red, but the rest is a jumble of senseless noise. I try to stay busy under the watchful eyes of my owners, but my ears still swivel in the group's direction to listen in. I can also hear the todds talking through the rice paper wall as they work over in the other section, with similar results. I only understand a few words, yet what I do grasp seems too uninteresting to warrant paying attention to them.

Well, the conversation is uninteresting compared to how they look at me now. I steadfastly denied it before, but now I have no choice but to admit that with the changes in my body my mind has changed, and so has my orientation. Thinking about it does remind me of what Sixteen tried to do to me, yet it doesn't change the fact that I am now attracted to them. In fact, part of me is even curious as to how it would feel to have them touch me, rub and knead these breasts, even stick my former equipment into my new set.

This whole line of thought makes my ears feel warm along with other strange feelings on parts of my body; I'm sure now is not the right time to peruse further. I try to focus more on what I am doing right now to prevent my mind from wandering again.

I also notice that I'm not the only vixen on this side watching the males through the doorways as we all work to clear plates, silverware, used chopsticks, and drinks from the tables.

With the busywork done, a pair of vixens wait at the front of the establishment for the few customers that come in between mealtimes. The rest take seats in the dining area to talk, and most likely gossip during the lull of activity. For a moment I wonder why this all seems so new to me, but then I remember why.

The old Jack- no, I refused to see them do this. I was an idiot to ignore this activity, and now I have no clue on how to join in now that I want to do so. If I try to join in, will they accept me? Or did my stubbornness forever make me an outcast in their eyes? This will most likely be my home for the rest of my life, so I would hate to be an outcast because of that.

I don't even notice that my ears wilt and my tail droop until I feel Alpha's hand gently touch my shoulder. When I turn my head to look at her, she gives me a what could be called a vulpine smile while nodding her head in the direction of the clique of vixens. Glancing at them I find all of them are staring at us attentively, and I just want to run and hide rather than feel them staring at me. What are they thinking about? Do they think I'm a freak because of how I acted before today? Why am I even CARING about what they're thinking?

I still feel that need, the buzzing and whispering need to be a part of their group. Is this part of a pack instinct? I know Bio-Morphs are based on wolves, and wolves have a social need to be part of a pack. So all the Bio-Morphs here consider themselves one pack, with Alpha and Red running it.

Alpha derails my train of thought by gently guiding me over to the group while they make room for me.

My only experience with such groups of people are from Jacks memories of high school, and how cliques of people would exclude him - no, me - for simply living in one of those 'centers'. Why isn't this one acting like that now?

Sitting down, I move my tail to lay in my lap, and they continue their conversation. I'm mostly clueless as to the topic due to my minuscule vocabulary. Trying to grasp what I can understand is enough to prevent me from noticing Alpha walking back to the podium. I guess she thinks I am in good enough hands to leave me alone with them.

As I look them over, part of me still expects them to turn on me with Alpha being on the other side of the room. There are some smaller reds beside the gray and reddish one who helped me up earlier. Every one of them seems to be having fun, at least right now. Don't any of them know that they're just soulless property in the eyes of Christopher and his father? Do they even understand the concept of slavery?

Maybe they do, but they don't care: they seem to be happy with where they are, and what they're forced to do. Idly I pet my tail as I think about this.

I have to admit there is a certain appeal to this kind of work. Something I didn't know was there, and I may even end up liking if not for the fact that I'm doing this against my will. Yet to actually LIKE being in this place?

Somebody drops a folded piece of paper into my lap from behind me - I don't need to guess who, since only Alpha has both a pencil and a pad of paper. I unfold it and read what she wrote.

'Let me guess you're wondering how all of them could be so happy being in a place like this? You're so easy to read sometimes Jack. It's simple, All but number Twelve, the Gray Vixen across from you, lived all their lives working here or came from elsewhere where they did similar work. They know little about the outside world and what they do know they have no way to find out if it is real or not. As for number Twelve, remember how I told you I knew how to handle the converted? Before you ask I won't tell you about her other than she arrived here a few years ago and has since come to terms with her new life in a way. When you're able to speak our language better you can ask Twelve about her past yourself, till then enjoy your time with the group.'

Folding the note in half, I look at the other vixens: Twelve seems to be giggling or making a giggling like noise, possibly in response to what one of the black colored vixens was saying. Yea, I'm going to have to ask her about her past when I am able to.

I wish I could actually follow their conversation; it seems to be an interesting one. Sure, I do hear my name occasionally but that is it. I bet it's about how stupid I've been so far.

Not being able to communicate with them I just keep to myself. While keeping the note in one hand, I pet my tail with the other, it's a nice sensation. Every once in a while I look up at them to see what they are doing before returning my attention to my tail.

I'm actually glad once business starts to pick up, as I was starting to feel too awkward sitting here and not being able to talk. It also gives me an excuse to do something to keep my mind off of recent events in my life. Except it doesn't work, my thoughts start to wander to what they were talking about; what happened to Twelve, and what just recently happened to me. Am I going to end up like her? Broken, caged, content to be owned like property? Not that I technically deserve either.

I'm convinced I did something wrong as the 'human' Jack to deserve my fate here as Christopher's property. Not that I can point to a specific event in that life and say 'this is what I did'. Maybe it would help to bear this burden better if I knew?

These thoughts keep running through my mind, so I spend the entire lunch rush with my ears low and my tail drooping, broadcasting how I'm feeling to the whole restaurant. Damnit I should be happy I figured my place in life now, so why am I so sad about admitting it?

Just like the breakfast rush earlier, the lunch rush ends quickly once the clock strikes two in the afternoon. From there it's back to my thoughts and interactions with the others. At least, until the day's dinner rush starts: this rush is the longest of the three as 'dinner' can be considered eating anytime between five pm and eight pm. On weekdays the customers usually don't start to trail off until ten pm.

With the minor cleaning of the room done we gather in our gender-separated cliques, leaving the rest to be done by the janitorial Bio-Morphs this place owns. A house cat and a rat Bio-Morph take the day and night cleaning respectively.

Like before, all the vixens gather around a table on this part of the dinning area, while all the todds on the other side gather around a different table. The only exception is Alpha, who is still doing Red's job, just in case some person comes in looking for food between rushes.

This time I don't need to be coaxed to join them, I follow them willingly. And, once again, I can't participate in the conversation between them.

My frustration causes me to let out a soft whine, which in turn causes everyone to stop talking and look at me. Shit, why did I just make that noise?

Looking away, I try to curl up to make myself look smaller, maybe it will make them go back to what they were doing and ignore me. Except they don't. Nor do they throw me out like I expect them to. Instead, a black furred vixens drapes her arm around me drawing me into a hug before Twelve reaches over so she can pet my head lightly. The sensations of Twelve petting me robs me of the will to shrink away from her and the other vixen. Once they notice they've calmed me down the black vixen lets me go and goes back to her conversation. Twelve takes a little longer to stop petting my head though, not that I mind since it feels good. Some part of me feels like this is a sign the group of vixens here have accepted me. It doesn't help me understand what they are talking about though. Still, why accept me? I ignored and shunned them up till now.

Mulling over that question keeps me occupied until the dinner rush starts, at which point it's all I can do to keep up with the orders. It's the same with everyone else 'working' here. I hope they get a replacement for Sixteen soon and Red recovers quickly, the increased workload on the rest of us is hard to manage.

Being slaves, we have no choice but to bare the extra load, and I'm sure more than one customer that I have served was annoyed at the extra time it took. Even Christopher being there to quickly apologize and explain the situation most likely didn't help the customers' mood.

Rich spoiled brats... I can't help feeling responsible for the situation considering that, maybe if I had let Sixteen have his way with me like he'd wanted. We'd only be down Red instead of him and Sixteen causing the rest of us to be scrambling to make due.

No! I can't let myself think along those lines. There is no disputing the fact he did open my eyes to the reality of my current situation, that this is who I'll be for the rest of my life. I will NOT forgive him though, for what he attempted to do to me... And if I had a chance, I'd give him the same treatment I want to give Joe Snyder. Castration with a rusty pair of scissors. He deserves that, just as much as I deserve this fate for whatever I did when I was human. Catching myself walking down that road I redouble my efforts to occupy my thoughts on the task at hand, serving customers. This works well enough for time to fly and soon the clock hits closing time.

Now it's time for us to go and clean ourselves before heading to our containers for to enjoy what little free time we have and a night's rest. So I follow everyone to the locker room before undressing.

Once I 'm finished disrobing I toss my clothes into the pile of dirty garments awating collection and cleaning. From there we make our way to the shower room to clean our fur. Alpha acts like she's expecting me to be difficult about showering again and moves to 'help' guide me to the correct shower room, then to a shower head before cleaning my fur for me.

Before today I was too stubborn to admit this is what I am and is what I will have to live with for the rest of my life. There is no point in fighting reality anymore. Shaking my head, I just say to Alpha ~No~ and head for an empty shower head once in the female side of the shower room.

Alpha for her part just stands nearby and watches me go about washing myself until I grab the wrong bottle of fur cleaner for my hair? Or is it head fur? At which point Alpha grabs it out of my hands while saying ~No~ before replacing it with the proper soap bottle.

Of course I would do something dumb like grab the wrong bottle.

Looking over the bottle, I notice the English on one side and pictographs on the other as I open it up and squirt some out into my opposite hand. Considering Bio-Morphs are not supposed to know how to read, detailed pictographs would be the only option.

Tonight I don't hesitate to look at myself while working the shampoo it into my fur from head to toe, or is it paw? No point denying I am good looking with my bodily proportions, everything I have now would have been eye catching to the old jack. The old me. Nice big breasts, but not so big they look gross. Curvy hips with a nice nearly heart shaped rear. He- no, I would have balked at the tail and all the fur back then, though.

Not to mention I didn't think bio-morphs were barely smarter than simple animals, boy did I get a crash course on the truth since I woke up as this.

The only problem is, with all my fur soaped up I kind of look like a drowned rat, my tail especially looks absolutely pathetic like this. How can such a thin rope of skin and bone have so much fur on it?

At least the shower water is at a pleasant temperature as I step back under it to rinse all the fur soap out following the lead of everyone else. Glancing about I see Alpha is still keeping an eye on me, possibly in case she needs to help me. She looks surprised too, if I am not making a mistake reading her tail and ears wrong. I'm not a kid, I can manage to wash myself, even if parts of myself are new. The wet and matted fur look also doesn't look any better when it's Alpha.

So if this one was for my body fur, then I guess the one I originally grabbed must be for the hair on the top of my head. The hair that is now plastered and entangled with my fur. Yea, the bottle states it in plain English on the front of the bottle and pictographs on the back, just like the other bottle.

So I open the bottle, squirt a glob out, and try but fail at grabbing my hair through my fur. It's not only that it's matted into my back fur: I also just realized I have no freaking clue how to care for long hair. I've only had short hair for all my life. Shampoo wasn't a luxury, but it was expensive to buy too often. So, my mother and I would not wash our hair every day, as a result we also kept our hair short so a simple rinse would work.

When the other vixens start laughing at my antics, I stop reminiscing and look around the room. Noticing that they're all looking at me I slink away to the tiled wall trying to make myself look smaller again. This, this was a mistake! I shouldn't have tried to clean myself but like an idiot I screwed up something simple and I am rightfully being made fun of. Why do my knees feel weak? Is the room getting bigger too?

A loud and quick bark from Alpha gets all of them to stop their laughter - well, all but number Twelve who was silent. She never stopped cleaning herself, as if the rest of the room didn't even exist to her. There has to be something seriously wrong with her... While I'm watching number Twelve, Alpha moves over to my shower head, and without making a sound, she shows me how to wash my hair while getting it untangled from my back fur with 'minimal' pain.

I say 'minimal' because getting the tangles out of my fur is pretty damn painful. It's like pulling one's hair, but all over my back. Once my hair is free of my back fur Alpha shows me how to lather it up and wash it, before rinsing it out in a way that wont tangle it with itself or my back fur again.

By the time Alpha finishes my hair, the water shuts off on its own accord like normal, I guess you can't let the help waste water. With the water shutting off everyone heads back into the locker room where we find some clean robes for us to wear and towels to dry ourselves off with.

Most likely they were brought in by the feline Bio-Morph. I have to wonder, does he sneak a peek at all the vixens while we shower? Nope, not going to think about that.

Everyone quickly grabs a towel before congregating in the same groups as they do every evening to help dry one another's fur. Alpha glances at me, expecting me to be the odd vixen out again tonight, of course she's ready to help me like before.

To be fair I kind of want to let her dry me off: with Red being gone right now due to his injuries she has no one to help her personally and I feel like I should fill that role for all the help she has given me.

Fuck the whole situation, I need to start acting like a Bio-Morph, and part of that is helping Alpha because she is my Alpha Female. So, using the towel I grabbed for myself, I walk on over to the group of vixens that Alpha is in. To her surprise - going by the reaction of her ear's and tail at least - I start drying off her upper back and shoulders before working my way down to her waist and tail. Before I know it all the other vixens start helping me dry Alpha off, but they also start to dry my own fur as well.

Tell the truth, this whole situation seems surreal. I'm getting such odd but good feelings from doing this that I don't even realize that I am also petting and nuzzling the other vixens. It is a sense of closeness and family I'd never felt before as the old Jack. The same part of me who is still the old Jack is screaming in the back of my mind that this is wrong, that I am not an animal. He is a small part of me now. A part of me that I know I will never be again even if I remember everything about his life. So I ignore it and let myself float on these feelings and instincts.

We only stop when all our fur is dry, at which point our group dissolves just as quickly as it formed. Each of us heads straight for the clean kimonos and underwear left for us in our lockers. Only then do I remember the locker room is a communal one as I notice the males on the other side are stealing glances at us. They might have also watched us dry each other off in between drying themselves off in a similar group.

I have to admit I stole a glance or two at the males myself, its still odd being attracted by the anatomy I had up till that fateful day. Yet I can't deny what I have now does have its perks over being male. Other than the two perking things on these orbs on my chest. I can be aroused and not have it as obvious as what the males on the other side of the locker room are dealing with. Most are sporting erections and all of those are trying to not either further stimulate them or they are trying to hide them from us vixens. It seems.. Kind of cute somehow?

Once dressed we leave the locker room heading for the door leading outside and to our residential containers. Upon reaching it the sound of heavy machinery hits my ears, causing them to swivel back to lower the volume.

The door opens and it becomes obvious what is causing the noise. Two flat-bed semi trucks with cranes attached are parked with engines idling on either side of our enclosure.

The one on the left has a residential container on it, the other truck is empty. The crane on the empty one is removing the container above number Sixteen's. Christopher and his father must have not only found a buyer for him, but have also purchased a replacement. I have to move to the side so I can continue to watch without preventing the other Bio-Morphs from going to their containers. Yes it's cold, but I can bare it to watch this happen, to watch that bastard Sixteen be taken away, hopefully to a fate he deserves.

I don't notice that Alpha has also stopped walking to watch this event. She drapes her arms over me and pulls me into a hug while we stand here. I give her no form of protest at this.

Once the residential container above Sixteen's is placed to the side, the truck driver exits his cab and quickly unhooks it before climbing onto Sixteen's container to hook it up. On his way back to the cab, he disconnects all the service pipes and cables from the residential container.

I don't know what I was expecting when Sixteen's container was placed onto the flat bed truck, but the absolute lack of anything other than just watching it being moved wasn't it.

As soon as the crane arm carrying Sixteen's container swings out of the way, the other semi lifts up the new Bio-Morph's container and lowers it into the place where Sixteen's had been. Then, the top level container is placed back on top by the other crane before both drivers work on re-hooking up both residential containers.

Okay, enough standing here in the cold. With no need of any urging from Alpha, I run up the cat walk stairs and don't stop until I'm inside the container and under its blessed heating vent. I only make a slight detour to the control panel to turn the heat up a few degrees so we can warm up faster. Alpha and I huddle under the vent letting the hot air blow over us, and when the room is warm enough we shed our kimonos.

Alpha carefully folds her garment up, showing more care to the cheap robe than anyone should. I just toss mine on the shelving next to Alpha's. She shakes her head at this. As I head for the cot she takes out her pad and pencil, I wonder how she gets them. Maybe she and Red have a whole stack of them in their own residential container under their cot?

I lay down, curl up nose to tail tip and look over at Alpha, who is writing something down on the pad. She hands it and the pencil to me when done before laying down next to me, observing me as I read it:

'Starting to accept your new body? You were not as reluctant to look at yourself nor refuse to clean yourself as compared to last week. Not to mention you joined in on the routine grooming session. You even dried my back, which completely surprised me.'

I was expecting her to ask such a question so I already have an answer for her. I pick up the pencil and pad of paper to write it down pretty quickly.

'Yes, I am starting to accept the fact that I am never going to be human again. Let alone not being a person like I was too. Well if you can call a Bio-Morph a person.'

Alpha bops me on the nose with the pad of paper when she finishes reading my answer. I back up a bit on feeling the light sting of the bopping. What the hell? I wrote the truth, you can't call a Bio-Morph a person because part of the definition of 'person' is being human. What recently happened forced me to realize I lost my humanity when I was converted, leaving only this intelligent animal. An animal with just enough human D.N.A. to be able to move around and use tools like a human.

Part of me wonders if I'd have been better off if I'd ended up as just a feral fox, or even not surviving the conversion process at all. I turn my attention to the wall with a sigh. The conversion must have screwed my head up, if it got me thinking I could have been made human again. Next thing you know I'll be chasing my own tail like a common dog!

Alpha interrupts my self depreciation by placing the pad in front of my muzzle just at the right distance so I can read it properly.

'Of course you are a person Jack! I'm a person, even Sixteen is a person. Just because he took advantage of your new instincts doesn't make you a mindless animal Jack. So stop calling yourself one because if I had to guess, you are the most intelligent person here because of what you have done. One other thing I wanted to ask you about. Which one of the males do you like the most? I saw you checking some of them out in the locker room.' I roll my eyes when I first start reading it. 'Sure' I am a person, if a person is defined as an owned piece of property with no rights of her own. And if I was that intelligent, the previous me would not have fallen for that fake interview. No, he and I were too dumb to smell the con, we only had stars in our eyes at the money.

I do a double take at the last part of what Alpha wrote, wait what!? Looking at the question to make sure I read it correctly and then back at Alpha who only grins and tilts her head to the side, similar to how some canines do when being playful. I huff and jot my reply down before pushing the pad of paper over to Alpha.

'Nice joke Alpha. I admit now my orientation has changed along with my body. I also admit I did steal a few glances over at the males while we were dressing, but I am NOT ready to do that yet.' While I'm curious as to how it would feel to have sex as a female, I'm scared that I'd screw up somehow. While none of them seem to act like Sixteen, the incident is still fresh enough in my mind to have no desire of doing it.

Watching Alpha's face as she reads my reply doesn't give me any clue as to her mood. Her ears stay steady while her tail stays still without even a twitch at the tip.

Alpha glances back at me before retrieving the writing utensils and writing her reply under mine. I do mull over admitting that I am female now and how that will affect the rest of my life.

If it was not for the heat blocker shot I got at the facility I would have either had my first 'heat' already, or be in the middle of it right now. The idea of not only wanting sex from anyone, but being driven to have it to the exclusion of anything else scares me.

The old me- no, the old Jack liked having control over situations whenever possible. The thought of part of himself being out of his control like that frightens him. While I hate to admit it, he is still a small part of me, which would explain my continuing fear. Knowing why doesn't make the prospect any less frightening.

Laying my ears down against my head, I try to curl up while idly petting the soft fur of my own tail. After calming down enough, I notice that Alpha has finished writing her reply and has placed the pad next to me.

'That's fine Jack. While it makes me happy to know that you have accepted that part of yourself, I do understand that your experience with being like this has been less than pleasant. I was just teasing to see how you would react, and since you did not get angry at me I'm satisfied with how you are handling this. Do you want to talk to me about anything specific about that subject? How about I talk to you about how to handle yourself better when ordered by a customer, or how to handle yourself with one of the males here? Or do you want to talk about something else? Remember I am here to help you, and I will be here all night. Considering don't think you are in a stable enough mood to be left alone yet.'

I do have some questions I would like to ask... Many questions, in fact. We have a limited amount of time here so I pick up the pencil and I try to decide what I want to ask, and what can wait.

Upon finishing writing my questions I hand the pad and the pencil over to Alpha and the second my hands are free I go back to petting my tail. For some reason doing so just sends wonderful sensations up my spine, and in turn helps me relax. Kind of wish I had one all my life, if only because petting it during idle moments like this feels a lot better than just laying in bed vegging out to the sound of the radio. Or when the old Jack got a hold of a working television for a short while.

'First of all, I know female Bio-Morphs go into heat once, to possibly twice a year. I would have had my first one if it was not for the injection I had at the conversion facility. It was to only block this year's heat, so will I become some mindless sex crazed animal next year? Secondly, while we are making some progress in our language lessons, it's going way to slow for my liking. I only know a small amount of words in 'the tongue' and writing like this to talk to you is getting rather annoying. So I want to know how long will it take for me to be able to talk to you in 'The Tongue'? Lastly, you mentioned to me that number Twelve was converted as well, just not gender flipped like me. Did she ever try to escape from here or did she always act-'

I can't help hesitating for a few minutes. I want to use the word 'broken' in my question since it appears to be accurate. Wouldn't that mean I've been broken as well? I know I can no longer escape or deny the fact that the old Jack is gone. I also know I can't escape here, let alone by some divine miracle have his body restored. I am stuck in this perverse place as a Bio-Morph being treated as a slave for the rest of my life. So I decide to put something else down since I don't want to think that this place has broken me, it just changed me. I settle on 'resigned to her fate?'

The feeling of Alpha staring at me intensely as I stopped writing mid sentence is hard to ignore, but rather than make an issue of it I just let it go. Asking her would mean writing more down and I'm getting tired of doing so. Upon finishing I slide the pad and pencil over to Alpha.

In hindsight I realize I was stupid to think that anyone would believe the story I wrote if I- no, the old Jack wouldn't have believed it himself. Everything in it ran against what he was taught in school, against all the information you'd find on the approved Internet, not to mention anything from the main stream press. Nothing he'd have been able to get his hands on other than a few BBS posts would have said anything different from Bio-Morphs being dumb animals. Just like anyone else, he'd have laughed at anyone who claimed there are facilities to change humans into Bio-Morphs. I- no, he was secure in believing the people who claimed as such were as dumb as the people who claim we didn't land on the moon just shy of a hundred years ago. Alpha interrupts my train of thought with the pad and pencil being placed in front of me.

'The answer to your first question is that it depends on the individual. All the vixens here run the gamut of what I think may be going through your mind right now. One of them acts like how you fear you'll end up, so Christopher and his father pay for the blocker every year on her rather than risk her cornering a male and impregnating herself. The rest seem to get more frisky and are eager to do the special services during the day, then grabbing any available male after work. For me 'I' like to spend the week having fun with Marui whenever I get the chance after work. As for how you'll end up, we'll just have to wait and see. At worst you may end up confined in here for a couple of days, 'till Christopher gets the shot for you. Your second question is a little harder to answer. You're picking up words at a faster pace compared to Twelve, that's better than I expected. I'd hazard a guess that based on this you'll take a little less time compared to how long it took Mauri and I to teach Twelve. Maybe in a couple of months you might be able to hold a limited conversation. It took us two years to teach Twelve to be able to speak it fluently and not sound like a child. If your rate of picking up the words doesn't slow down, and I doubt it will, then you may be able to speak like her in maybe a year. If we do the lessons every morning and most of the day on every day off.'

Where does she get these pads of paper? We've almost used all the pages in this one. I flip the page and continue reading what Alpha wrote.

'Number Twelve was more willful upon her arrival here. She was, like you, still in shock of being converted at that time and acted somewhat similar to you. Refused to acknowledge the new parts of her body, ignored her tail, ears, and fur. Unlike you though, I didn't need to wash her like she was a kit.'

Strangely my ears start to feel warm as I read that sentence. Okay, I get it Alpha, I was an idiot to do that. It was just one of a long list of dumb things I've done since this me was born out of that conversion tank.

'Remember when I told you a Bio-Morph tried to walk out the front door? Twelve was the one who tried it. Probably would have worked too if it wasn't for the bracelets we all have to wear and the thing they stuck in our backs. I have to admit I didn't think she had the gall to try something that brazen. After she was caught, and the punishment she got, Twelve resigned herself to this life. Maybe the week of isolation she had to go through and the disciplinary beating Christopher gave her broke something in her mind. Afterwards I could never get an answer out of Twelve as to what happened and gave up trying after a while.'

Placing the pad of paper down in front of me I stare straight ahead in shock over reading that last bit. Yea, it was what I thought that happened to her, and despite how much I screw things up, I am going to try my hardest not to become like her.

Sure, I'm a Bio-Morph who thinks she was once a human male named Jack, and still calls herself Jack. No matter how screwed up in the head it makes me, it's still better than person with no will of their own. Much better than only going through the motions day by day, until death comes for them one way or another.

Staring straight ahead at the clock, I notice it's starting to get rather late. Considering the fact we need to be up early tomorrow for 'work' we should call it a night. Uncurling from my spot on the cot, I sit up to point at the clock in an attempt to get Alpha to notice the time. She nods and puts the pad of paper and pencil in her folded up kimono before laying down on the cot. Despite my weak protests she pulls me into a hug and curls around me again. I know she's doing this because she doesn't trust me to not hurt myself, frankly right now I don't blame her. I don't think I trust myself in many things anymore either. Tonight I don't protest as much as earlier, I just try to relax next to her. Next thing I know the warmth of her body and the sound of her heartbeat lull me into sleep.