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_ Weight On My Shoulders _

My eyes struggled to adjust. I threw up a hand to protect them from the summer sun, grimacing from the scalding heat. Like I needed any more reasons to turn tail and run back inside.

Registration might've come and gone a full two days previous, but the sense of foreboding it'd brought with it? I should be so lucky.

A flick of my wrist locked the porch; the hammering clunk finalising my first, begrudging exit since that day.

'Where you at J? Not out tonight?'

'All good?'

I'd been dodging my friends' group chat like an expert since Friday, resisting the '98' unread messages and counting that'd been trying their hardest to tempt me in. As for the text messages Cody and Evan had sent me direct, previewed on my home screen, well they weren't so easily avoided.

'Get my message? Call back when you can!'

'See you in the morning for practice? Want a ride over?'

I dropped my phone into my pocket, taking the front steps one at a time. No call for a lofty jump today. Besides, my kit bag weighed heavily on my shoulder. Almost as much as the collar parting the white fur of my throat.

Traffic rolled on by as normal, carrying people off to wherever and whatever. Nothing had changed for them. Just another day in Neotria. Same could be said for those walking along the pavement past me, with the exception of a few odd glances I won from them.

'Keep calm,' I told myself, remembering the jacket I'd forced upon myself in spite of the heat. Up went the zipper, and the collar, too. I needed this today. Heatstroke be damned.

Rounding the corner onto the main road, passing the storefronts opening up to do their trade, I caught sight of something I'd have usually been hoping for. Not today, though. Today, on this twisted mess of a Sunday, it just served as an unwanted temptation.

The 36 bus pulled into its stop, 'Blundell Park' in electronic letters goading me from above the rear window. A queue of passengers started to board; long enough to keep the bus there waiting, but short enough that I could've stepped straight on without the need to wait. I kept on walking, charging straight on by without so much as a glance towards the open door. A cushioned, air-conditioned, two mile and change bus ride wasn't something I could face that day. Not with countless pairs of prying eyes I'd have had all around me, barely masking all the questions they'd have for the fox sitting on the back seat, collar popped in a blatant attempt at hiding something. To hell with all that. Right here, right now, the hot, hard pavement offered me a harsh but happy freedom.

My walk was mostly flat at least, only a few uphill legs to face. The lactic acid filling my calves and thighs served as a reminder. This was what it felt like to be alive. To experience pain safe in the knowledge that I'd soon recover. A lot of Requorans like me hadn't had that luxury in the past... and might not in the future.

Dampness began to spread from under my kit bag's shoulder strap, soaking an ever growing area of my shirt. At this rate, I'd be needing to shower before training.

Not that it mattered to me. With earphones in and music maxed, the only thing on my mind was constant speculation over how things would go. How my friends and teammates would act before and after they found out, if it came to that.

Why was I doing this to myself? I'd been walking for twenty minutes and still had more than half way to go. It wasn't too late to head back home and do the same thing I'd been doing since registration; hiding away with games and movies, trying to forget all the jeering Neotrians that'd gathered to remind us just how distant a second class citizenship us Requorans were... Maybe I could find myself an all-Requoran team to play on? Make friends with and have an all-Requoran social life? Wouldn't that be easier? Maybe, but was it what I wanted? Not really. I'd known some of the guys I played with since... forever, practically. I'd never once regretted being friends with bunch of Neotrians... until now. But even now, even with the whole world seemingly going to shit, the only true regret I had was over never telling them. From hiding my secret, and the cloaker around my tailbase, from everyone but my family. Hindsight was twenty-twenty, but for the rest of my walk over to Blundell Park, I did nothing but reflect on the past, and lecture myself over how I could've so easily set myself up for a better future.

My friends' voices cut through the treeline, audible above my panting. The solid thump of balls being struck turned my focus to my watch. I'd left the house a good half hour earlier in anticipation of the walk here, but I still found myself running fifteen minutes late. In a bizarre way, I was glad for it. Yeah, I was probably gonna be chewed out and then some by Coach, but at least it'd deflect attention from this huge, ugly collar clamping itself tighter to my neck by the second.

Clearing the last of the trees brought our pitch into view, grass even greener under the midday sun. My head dipped naturally downwards, but I couldn't miss the sight of my teammates training at the other end of the pitch. Nor that of coach Brian standing among them.

"Finally made it then!?"

I couldn't tell who'd said that from all the way over here. It wasn't Coach at least. He wouldn't have minced his words so nicely. Past the goal I jogged, down the touchline towards our changing rooms. The sarcastic cheering of my friends continued, along with their ribbing.

"Lose your phone again or something?"

"Try running slower, yeah?"

"Thought we'd finally got rid of ya!"

I almost missed a step with that last one. Coach made sure I'd not have time to dwell on it, mind.

"Thank you for joining us, Josh." I glanced up at the wolf glaring straight back, picking up my pace. "I want you changed and out here in two minutes flat. Unless you feel like running laps until the new season."

I kept myself as close to the two minutes as possible, reluctantly leaving the cold, dark safety of our home changing room. My studs clapped against the concrete with each step. I'd miss it once I reached the turf.

"Get a move on," Coach roared. He needn't have bothered trying to unnerve me. I'd managed that all by myself.

I popped the collar of my training shirt; a flimsy, shallow substitute for the one on my jacket. It might as well have not been there with how terribly it hid the government issued one beneath my jawline.

"You okay?" I'd missed Coach coming to meet me. I slapped a hand to my throat with barely a thought. "I asked the others where you were. They told me they've not heard from you since Friday."

"I'm fine," I replied, scrambling to catch my breath. "Sorry for being late."

"Did you walk the whole way here or something?"

A slow nod gave me the split second needed to think up, "Lost my wallet yesterday... Didn't have any change for bus fare--"

"Alright, alright." He waved my words away. "Just get yourself in there and do your thing. Now."

The guys were well into their shuttle runs, darting back and forth between the three sets of plastic cones placed out for us. I joined the back of the shortest line, hand still raised to my neck. One by one my teammates set off on their sprint, drawing me closer and closer to the head of the queue. I didn't have a choice. I'd have to reveal it to the world sooner or later.

Off dashed the guy ahead of me. Nobody left to hide behind. I dropped my hand to my side. This thick band of black told everyone around me that I'm Requoran, that I owned a cloaker and that I needed it to stand as an equal with my Neotrian teammates.

I charged forward, eyes for nothing but the line of blue cones I had to sprint between. The cool air on my face soothed me, while the thudding of my heart in my ears drowned everything else out. It proved calming. Liberating. Until the time came to head back to my queue.

The five guys ahead of me all stood silent, their jaws half hanging. My fur frizzed so harshly that I could've been forgiven for thinking someone had set my brush alight. In fact, judging by the looks I was getting, that idea didn't seem all that outlandish.

The queue to my left were still running the session as normal. At first. They slowed to a stop around the same time as the line to my right. Twelve more of teammates, friends, standing there with that same dumb look as the guys ahead of me.

"I didn't say to stop," Coach barked from behind. His steps crunched nearer. I wondered if he'd offer up the same shocked glare at my throat. Standing here in the middle of a field, surrounded by Neotrians, was fast becoming something like a real bad idea.

I think I stepped left. It was hard to tell with how spaced out my audience had got me. I'd not get a chance to take another. My shoulder connected with someone's chest. I bounced back. They did the same. I turned to see Evan fixed fast upon my collar, spotted face somewhere between surprised and confused. I'd known the guy for ten years. There wasn't a cat I'd have trusted more to know my secret... I just wished I'd have got to reveal it under my own terms--

"J, is that..." I whipped myself around to face Cody, bright blue husky eyes piercing me. His next words sent me shuddering from head to toe. "Man, you're a Requoran?"

My brain turned over and over, muddled and messy, as if every single word in the dictionary entered it in unison. Too bad I couldn't hold onto any of them long enough to form a reply.

One step backwards. Was I fast enough to outrun the whole team? Another step. If not, what would they do if they found my cloaker? A third and final step. Why in god's name did I leave the house today!? Fuck registration. Fuck Neotria, Neotrians. Fuck all this--

"How the hell am I finding this out only now?" Evan's expression flashed from one of shock to amazement. "Hey, Kane! Looks like we've got two of you now."

Forward stepped Kane, the otter who'd joined the team at the back end of last season. I didn't know him too well at that point, but the moment I saw that same black band parting his brown fur, and the same relieved smile I was sure I had just grown, I could've hugged the guy stupid.

"Man, how did you keep that quiet?"

"This is actually pretty cool... Think you'd ever wanna take it off around us?"

"This why you're late, huh? Walk all the way here at your regular height?... Naw, I'm messin' with ya."

"Damn... Is that why you've been hiding away this weekend?"

All those jokes, questions and comments hit me at once, owned by I couldn't work out who. They helped me to take a step forward. To smile for the first time since the sweltering, overcrowded hall we got corralled into for registration.

"I said..." A big grey paw clamped my shoulder. Coach Brian pulled himself past, growling. "I didn't say to stop."

He stole everyone's attention for a moment at least. One by one, my teammates turned back to me, until Coach did the same, too. A slight cock of his head gave nothing away as he quietly examined my throat. The roll of his eyes just confused me.

"Alright, I'll remind you all again." Arms folded, he stepped back to my side. A nod towards Kane won a smile back from him. "I'm not having any of this Requoran and Neotrian crap here. Not at all. Only thing that matters to me is how well you can play the game, and how well you can be a part of this club. The moment you step onto this pitch, you're one team looking out for each other. But more than that, you're one team looking out for each other after you've left it, too."

Everyone stayed quiet, focus on Coach rather than me. Kane's smile spread even wider.

"Better believe that if any of you have got a problem with that, and I don't care who you are..." He pointed off to the changing rooms. "...You can get your stuff and leave right now. Clear? Got that?"

The silence continued, but the firm nodding and determined stares around me said everything. I grew a smile to match Kane's.

"Now get back to it!" A blast of Coach's whistle jolted us all back into action. "We're less than two weeks from the new season now, and I'm still not seeing a team that's anywhere close to ready for it. I wanna see 100% from all of you."

His big finger jabbed towards me, then over at Kane. "That includes you two, too. You're no different to anyone else." He gave us a grin. "Remember that."

I hit the next shuttle run hard, almost tearing up the turf. God, it felt so good to have this weight off my shoulders.