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You open your eyes for the first time

You're here

You're ready

You love it

They tell you to stand and you do for a moment

But you fall down

They laugh. And so do you.

The girl in the corner smiles at you and you smile back

They tell you that you're strong

That you made it

That they didn't see that coming

You didn't either for sure

...

Tomorrow comes and you feel 50 years older

You can't get out of bed

You can't hear anything

Wife's on the phone, tears, you won't speak

Did you die in your sleep

You can't hear

You can't speak

You can't blink

You can't think

What the hell did they do to you

And who was that girl in the corner

...

No. That was a while back.

A long time ago, to be exact.

It's a new you, but not in a good way.

You told yourself you'd see it through, but you didn't

You left it behind and your friends...

They're gone

Mama and papa passed away years ago

You're an only child

You hate yourself all of a sudden

Nostalgia, your old friend leaves you.

And the world starts to see you in a filter you didn't want to be seen through

Convicted, but what did you do?

And why you?

God, why?

So you sell yourself, what the hell else is there to do

They want blood, you give them it

It's your new name

You're all new

You just want what happened YESTERDAY

But that girl in the corner took it away

But that's ok

You didn't want it anyway...

Your eyes open

You want to get paid

It's all for nothing and you see the chrome plated

You reach for it

They're all elated, fixated, looking at the piece of metal that gave you hell

You stare down the barrel

They want blood and you're entertaining, maiming.

Fuck that, they want to see you hanging.

You look for a face in the crowd you thought you saw but they're gone.

All of them, even the ones that were laughing at you.

Stage, stands, auditorium, world, it's all been poured out and you're that last droplet that clung on

It's all quiet... and you wonder where you went wrong.

Nostalgia comes back. "Let's get out of here," she says.

You spin but there's no movement in your legs, your head, even your eyes can't fuckin move.

The lights go out, and Nostalgia's gone.

Your mind starts playing tricks on you.

She's gone

For the last time.

She's done with your shit

She shuts the door, and you're dead.

You try to scream but your throat won't move either

You're getting higher, the ropes getting tighter

Are they ropes or your own guts

It gets quicker and the frequency gets...

Higher

It gets blacker

You really don't want to die here

You remember your friends before your own damn blood

You just want to go home

You should have just died then and not now

At least you had that last view of your wife on the phone, tears

You'd rather see a pretty face than a familiar one

This isn't a damn fairy tail

It's hell

Life is hell

Oh well. Nothing you can do about it

No use in complaining

Accept it while you still have a chance

Don't let your sun set on complaint, don't die like a-

No, that's over too, and you didn't have time

But you didn't have to wait

...

But hold on, they're outside, banging on your walls and windows

The one way mirror

They can't see you, they don't know who you are, they just want your head on a plate

Calm down, you say, it isn't too late

But the infant's setting in the east today and you got a bit of light left

Even if it is backwards

You look down and you're a beast

You're in a cage, on a leash

It wasn't a mirror, the bars, the people

You're a damn animal

"This is the human male," big man says. "And he's almost extinct. Just a day or two left on this one's span."

"He's the last of his kind, don't you know. The worlds about to be a helluva lot better off"

They still want blood

And you just don't get it.

Are you, sitting there, ugly, bloody, something you didn't know you are...

Are you the only normal one left?

Where did these people come from, I thought the whole fuckin world got poured out?

What happened to the empty stage?

The ropes?

My wife?

The obstetric unit?

You start remembering one thing and it leads to another.

Nostalgia's back.

Sepia coats her, and you, and everything around you

You refuse her this time but she takes your hand anyways

A field of wheat. You remember a simpler time

That was a past life, though. Nostalgia won't let you go back that far

But the zoo is gone

You're normal again

It's over, again, and you wonder when it'll end

When the trails and trials will end

And what happened to your blood and your friends cause you can't remember for the fuckin world

When'll God come again

You whine and complain, you feel like a kid

She tells you to shut your eyes (and mouth) and feel

Feel again

You wake up again, you're back where you started

They ask you to stand, you do, you fall

They laugh

You...

You don't.

Lashing out you push them, you don't understand the bright lights

You want to go back to where you were

You've lived this sick life you don't want it again

You scream and they flatline, they've never heard anything like that

They never heard flaw

They never heard human

They never heard of where you came from

They never heard hate

Or lust

Or pain

Or tears

They heard perfect and you start crying because you know that's what you wanted all along, to be them

You killed your idols, you fucking idiot

I wanted to be perfect

You don't understand the bangs and the screams, the chrome plates and their fire

Smell of gunpowder and now it's on you

They flatline too

You leave the room and no one's there to stop you

It was the only one lit, the lights are all out and you walk through the halls

You say "GOD, I'VE HAD ENOUGH."

Can you just go ahead and set the world on fire?

You're standing there in that hallway, blood on the window casting shadows on the walls

It's the only light left here, you realize, the world just poured out again

And Nostalgia comes out again

You want to run

You want to do something

You know this is the root of all evil, isn't it

Because she died a long time ago

And you killed her, didn't you?

And you start to feel the ropes around your neck

Your wrists

Punishment's here, this is what you deserve

This is what you want

The chrome resounds and it hurts and burns

Did Nostalgia shoot me or did I off myself

...

The music stops playing

There's a bit of red coming out and one side of your face is wet, facedown in that puddle

Last light just went out and you can see Nostalgia, she's dead too

You aint shocked

You didn't die in your sleep, this was it all along

You could always move

Always talk to the man behind the glass

But you have no desire

The chrome, it's facing you, the barrel smoking

No.

You're hoping they're all joking, you start tearing up but it has no use

You're tearing up but you've been dead for fucking hours so you're dry

Days

Years

Everything gets uglier and you wonder if the world is empty

And then they come back

Your family

Your friends

Everyone time and fate said you couldn't have

The tears come and they tell you to stand up

You fall

They laugh, and you do too

Nostalgia isn't there

Your worst enemy

Your first love

Life is over, and you can't say you liked it

But the floodgates are open and the end of time

It's here.

...

You put down the pen

And tell yourself "I'm never doing that again"

Smile and they say "Art" and "Poetry"

Good job

But in your head it's a different story