FSE

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It had been the strangest four months for Roy MacGregor, finding himself in an ideal world that felt like something a child would have dreamt. The darkness that had raged inside his heart for many years had been lifted, despite leaving its marks like scars of lightning upon the earth as he tried to ease himself into a new existence. The world that James had brought him into, and where he himself now lived, was a pastel-coloured kingdom of pure green rolling grass, whistling clouds and picturesque valleys where hardly any trouble came. He understood why James wanted to live here.

"A!"

"No it's B!"

"What come on it's totally A!"

"How would YOU know this?"

"I keep my ears open!"

Sitting on a comfy sofa, the voices of the married couple to his right chattered back and forth whilst the three of them were watching a game show on TV, various random questions about the world that he himself was not privy to understanding yet. A medium-sized black ball with chainlinked tail made the cutest sounds of snoozing next to his foot as the answer dinged on TV.

"Seeeee I told you."

"WHA-dammit I TOTALLY knew that!"

"Youuuu totally did not."

"It was my second guess I swear."

"You said that about the last question!"

"BUT, I really mean it this time I swear!"

"Well anyways that makes it thiiiiirty-seven to me....aaaand thirty-one to you."

"Nnnnngh...worse than usual, what did Roy get?"

"Oh ahm not playin'," said the utahraptor, "ah don' know anythin' 'bout this place yet."

He looked over towards the two owners of the house, a brown-scaled velociraptor with green eyes, purple marks worn into his skin resembling stripes on his snout along with flecks of white hardening scales on his bare chest. Sitting next to him was a smaller turtle with pale green shell and butter-yellow skin holding a notepad as he tallied off the scores smiling with bluest eyes on him. There came a slight awkward silence that Roy tried to break with a sheepish grin which they returned, his eyes a dull brown taint within ringed blue sockets that contorted with a frowning expression.

"It's okay," said the turtle, "James was terrible when he first came, couldn't get any questions right."

"Oh I'm sorry," said James snarkily, "I never studied other dimensions at school."

"You never studied period," replied Roy smirking.

"Uh, excuse me!?"

"Ahm jus' sayin', you could do a lot better than a high school dropout Koopin."

"Pfft I already answered half the questions right on this, where's YOUR score mister diploma?"

"Alright alriiiight," said Koopin warning, "I know you boys like to banter but let's not get all heated. Besides the show's over and we have to take Charlie for his walk."

"Alrighty then...you coming with us Roy?"

"Ehhhh sure," shrugged MacGregor, "why not, git sum exercise."

"Charlie! Come on, time for walkie!"

The fierce black ball suddenly sprouted up from its slumber with a happy panting whilst its chain tail wagged behind him, sparkling wide teeth like spikes with a wide-eyed look of pure innocence. The three headed out the front door and took a slow leisurely walk around the Mushroom Kingdom's central region. Beautiful day as usual, the sun glistening on Charlie's iron body with Koopin's shell gleaming faintly, showing the two arrow-shaped indentations on the back of it. Roy and James wore each a set of jeans, but the black raptor wore white gloves and a long-sleeved T-shirt to match them.

Wherever they went, there was always somebody to greet them, whether it was the koopa next door getting on in his years or the goomba planting flowers down the bottom of the road. Everyone was smiling, and Roy could tell that it was always most sincere. The group passed a row of houses shaped like koopa shells, heading along the dirt-path roads that marked the town's usual circuits as they soon reached the exit of Koopamuir. General store, the inn, the 1.2.8 nightclub, little else was needed in such a small pleasant village. They soon reached a favourite place for Charlie to explore, a glade of some sort with lots of bushes and a few trees dotted here and there as the chain chomp went wandering off.

Roy eventually picked up a stick and teased the chomp with it who became excited enough to chase after it, landing in the glade as he brought it back, then chased it again which made James and Koopin smile from a distance.

"He seems to be doing okay," said the koopa.

"Maybe," replied James. "But I feel like he's kind of missing something."

"What do you mean, we got him a house."

"No I know but just...he's always hanging around with us every day, then he goes back home and just sleeps, like we have to get him something to do."

"You mean like a job?"

"Yeah. I know he's my friend and you don't mind him coming around every day but, I feel like he needs his own life, not just borrowing ours."

"I agree," replied Koopin. "I just...I don't wanna push him or seem rude for after all he's gone through...I couldn't imagine what he's been through."

"I can imagine enough."

The tone of his husband scared him slightly, but Koopin said nothing. James felt his unease and put an arm around his shoulders hugging closely.

"At least he's got friends, even Charlie likes him a lot."

"It really surprises me how good he is with animals."

"Haha, you got no idea."

Roy was soon battling Charlie over possession of the stick, the two playing a tug of war with an even larger stick that the chain chomp had found and decided was now his property.

"Come on Charlie, drop it."

"RRRRRrrrr!"

"Charlie no, that's not your stick!"

"RRRRHHHHH!"

"Don't you mess wi' me, ah can take you man, ah swear ah will!"

"RRRrrrrRRRrrrrRRRR!"

Charlie shook himself from side to side violently trying to wrench the stick free from Roy, but the utahraptor's grip was indomitable, strength coursing through his slightly-unused muscles that turned slack through a length of disuse. But still he kept good with his grip until it was time to go home hearing James shout:

"CHARLIIIIE! COME ON, TIME TO GO!"

The chain chomp pricked up slightly and dropped the stick, briefly forgetting his prize giving Roy enough time to hurl it back into the undergrowth as they returned back.

"Did you have fun with uncle Roy?"

"We found a shtick, daddy!"

Roy was the only person to hear these words, whilst James and Koopin simply heard a bark.

"Uncah Roy threw the shtick, an' then I found a BIGGAH shtick an' then we wreshtled, he ish shupah shtrong!"

"Hahaha, awww you like uncle Roy dontcha? Alright then, come on."

"Where'sh my shtick?!"

"Ah put it somewhere safe," said Roy replying soundly, "don' worry, next time we're here ahll bring it back for ya."

"Yesh, yesh I lovesh my shtick! Waaaaaaah."

Chuckling at the childlike chain chomp and his hidden words, the black raptor rubbed his steel head as they made their way back home. It was slowly turning to sunset, and with the sky darkening by the time they reached the Kennidons' front doorstep, it was Roy's cue to head back to his own place.

"Ahm gonna head back."

"You sure?" asked Koopin. "We got some food, maybe you wanna stay and have some dinner?"

"Naw naw you guys don' need me hangin' around all thuh tahm."

"You know I love having you over, come on don't be silly."

"Heheh, ah know...ah jus' feel pretty tired at thuh moment so if it's alrigh' bah you, ah'd rather go home."

"Wait, lemme get you some food to cook up later first."

Koopin rushed back in to deliver some pasta in a container, giving it over to Roy.

"Here ya go, just heat that in the microwave for about fifteen minutes, the container's safe to heat up."

"Alrigh', cool thanks. See you all tomorrow?"

"Sure, I'm working but James'll be here so see ya round Roy!"

"Later FG!"

"Goodbye!" cried James from inside.

The door soon shut as Roy made his way back towards Toad Town to his place. The town was practically a city in comparison to most of the settlements in the kingdom, with everything one needed. Schools, hospital, a dojo, several stores and cafes along with a harbour and business buildings for commerce. Roy felt like a giant amongst the smaller inhabitants, the toads being squat humanoids with fungal-shaped heads making up largely the population of the central region. His apartment was rather small, but it gave everything he needed. Bedroom, bathroom, living room that was also the bedroom, kitchen that was also the living room. Basically the kitchen was just one corner of the bedroom with cupboards and mini-oven and microwave, whilst the living room occupied another corner in the form of a TV, and the bed which lied in a separate corner entirely. The bathroom was its own room thankfully.

"Better than Chicago from whut FG tells me."

This was his mantra to be thankful, knowing he could be in much worse places. He put the pasta in the microwave for later and sat down in front of the TV before thinking against the idiot box and chose to read something instead. Koopin had recommended him several books and a small bookcase that laid in the last unused corner of the room gave him all that he needed. What fascinated him the most was how similar the language was between his world and this one, something James also commented on with the words:

"Don't think about it, there's like a dozen billion universes out there and thinking about all the possibilities too seriously just makes my head hurt."

It was good advice. But Roy could only find himself getting through two chapters of "Don Booxote" before he felt exhausted mentally, deciding to flick on the classic movie channel and let his mind wonder to itself. He ate the pasta at least an hour later after he finally felt his stomach protest, and soon went to bed. Every day it was practically the same, and despite having managed to find a place for himself thanks to the miraculous economic strength of the kingdom along with James and Koopin's help, he felt something was missing. Always something missing.

The first two months of sleep had been peaceful, his mind unwinding to enjoy the wondrous bounty and relief of no responsibilities, no duties, no tasks of destiny. But then it began creeping into his mind, the frustration, the tedium, the ennui. He felt like a rusted sword burnt beneath the sunset, left behind in a trophy cabinet. He would lie on his bed with his eyes awake, sometimes thumping the mattress with his fist before eventually his mind would tire itself out from thinking.

The next morning, Roy found himself waking up slowly with begrudging sounds and snapping his spine slightly as he lurched towards the bathroom like a zombie. Sleep had not been kind to him as he stared at himself in the mirror slightly red in his eyes.

"Fuck...whut is your problem? WHUT is your goddamn problem, ah been through EVERYTHING an' ahm sittin' here all cooped in this place lahk a cheap motel worker. Hhhhhh..."

He slapped his hands onto his cheeks, forgetting about his steel hand smacking harshly into the right side of his face. He stared at it briefly in the same way one stared at a misbehaving pet before brushing his teeth, scraping the brush with toothpaste over his teeth the size of small steak knives. The shower helped him slightly, washing over his thick ridged black muscles smoothly undulating through his arms and back like the mountains of a distant nightly horizon. His arm was unblemished despite only being half-composed of flesh, the faint mechanical traces only apparent when seen up close as the rust-protective coating glimmered from his cold steel claws.

His tail flicked back and forth, sluicing water out behind him as he rubbed himself with smooth oily shower gel fit for reptiles that Koopin recommended him. James used the same brand which helped extensively in scale texture as he rubbed down his body front, his wide brimming pectorals and six-pack of abdominals hardened like asphalt. His legs sturdy without a shudder in his glistening wet thighs with taut slightly flexing rump cheeks and a long but flaccid dark length swinging between his legs. Water trickled into a singular font off the edge of his glossy foreskin as his fierce raptor claws softly clacked onto the bathroom floor once he was done.

"It's not workin'...this isn't workin', ah need to do sumthin' fast."

He ruminated on this as he grabbed his towel to rub his body down, buffering his smooth scaled skin.

"Don't wanna leave but fuck if ah don't get a job ahm gonna go crazy on this...maybe ah just need a hobby if nuthin' else."

There came a distraction when he heard a woman's scream from outside his door, swiftly rushing to the door with towel hastily wrapped around him. A female toad was laid out on the floor next to a feather duster and a stool knocked over as Roy quickly knelt down beside her.

"OH, jeez you alrigh' ma'am?!"

"Y-y-yes, I'm fine, just had a bit of a-...o-o-oh."

"...OH, u-um jeez!"

Realising suddenly that he was indecent, the soft dimpled cheeks of a middle-aged toad greeted him with a blush as Roy struggled to pull his towel close with his right hand with her perspective from the floor giving a sultry peek at his ebony sculpt from below the waist. Blue sea-coloured spots covered her head as she grasped her feather duster carefully, with Roy helping her move up slowly using his free hand.

"You uh...u-um, you...you sure you're alrigh' miss Flo T.?"

"Yes, y-y-yes I'm fine thank you um...sorry for the noise, it's just that, I was trying to dust the place, but some of the places in this house are awful high to reach and well, I just...sleep well, mister MacGregor?"

"Ehhh, sorta but...if you need any help ah could do that dustin' for ya, you know reach up them high places."

"OH, would you? I mean I wouldn't want to take up any of your time-"

"Naw naw just lemme get dressed proper....umm, s-sorry for my um-"

"That's alright dearest."

He shut the door swiftly leaving Flo T. to tent her fingers with a slight giddiness at what she saw beneath the ripples of his towel, seeing Roy exit a few minutes later wearing a simple grey long-sleeved shirt along with a set of cotton pants. Taking the feather duster from the toad lady, the raptor went to work dusting down the apartment building, his height helping him reach every nook and cranny. From the upper parts of windowsills to craggy corners, no stone was left undusted whilst the toad swept any granules of such away with her broom, pushing them outside. It only took an hour and a half and once they had finished, miss Flo T. Invited Roy into her humble abode for some breakfast.

"Heeeere you are!"

"Aw sweet, thanks ma'am!"

He ate up a good simple breakfast of bacon and eggs, seasoned with black pepper whilst she had marmalade on toast. Her house covered the entirety of the ground floor, being the owner and landlady of the property. Her kitchen was a place Roy had seen several times, with red-chequered blanket on the table, a row of wooden cupboards and appliances to one wall with a window looking out onto the side street.

"Any big plans today mister MacGregor?" asked Flo T.

"Naw, just thuh same as always, hangin' out with friends."

"Are you perhaps still looking for a job? Because I could always use a handytoad around the place."

"Well ah mean...ah dunno. Ah wanna do sumthin', but ah just got no idea whut ah could do."

"Why there's lots of things! You could work in a store, or construction, or maybe at the train station-"

"Ah would...rather not go work at thuh train station if ah can help it."

"Well why not at the docks? You seem like a big strong boy you would put those muscles to good use!"

"Hmhmhm, you never stop noticin' them do ya miss Flo T.?"

"W-well...I mean it's not often such a strapping young tenant comes to my place."

"Hhhahaha, ahm not that young miss."

"You're younger than me."

"Ah would never have guessed had you not told me."

The blush on her face was obvious as Roy chuckled eating up the last of his food, whilst she buried her face briefly into the toast before they cleaned up the dishes.

"Ah wouldn't mind workin' for you," continued Roy, "just that you don't need work that often enough an' it'd be weird you payin' me only to give half of it back to ya."

"Well we could always work something out...but I admit I don't need repairs that often that I could feasibly hire you. Sorry Roy."

"It's fine. At least one of thuh reasons ah wanna do sumthin' is so ah can have mah friends stop payin' mah rent."

"You are so dearly lucky to have such supportive friends, mister Kennidon has never missed a payment!"

"Ah know...ah just wanna be more independent, yanno?"

"I know dear. You should wander around the town, it's a lovely day out and I'm sure that if you kept your eyes open you might see something that will capture your imagination just perfectly, call it an investigation."

"Alrigh', ah mean mah friends aren't expectin' me for anythin' especially so ah could just head out an' take stuff in. Later miss."

"See you home soon!"

She waved goodbye to him as he left the apartment building. MacGregor had wandered all across the town several times but he had never truly looked for any sense of opportunity. He wanted to contribute, feeling too pent-up and restless without anything to distract him and whilst the malaise and ebbing of sorrow had not yet fully departed him, it was weak enough in his heart and mind that he felt if he just put his foot forwards, he would be able to finally leave it. He walked all over the town checking every single place and storefront for what he could do.

"Alrigh'...lessee...whut could ah have a chance of doing, let's start with basics. Retail? ...naw, too scary with this face, but could help reach thuh higher places maybe they wanna put me in thuh back...no wait they got ladders for that, come on man you gotta bring more than that...garden work, there's a lotta florists around here, maybe FG could gimme sum tips, start a new field...heh, field, hehehe, gotta tell Koopin that...dock work...could do with that, muscles, not complicated, see if they're hirin'."

His choice was confirmed as he headed down towards the docks. Roy had never really navigated around this region of Toad Town having had no interest in the sea, but seeing all the workers back and forth among the ships made him realise that not all parts of the kingdom were sweet and as saccharine as he thought. Roguish bob-ombs with bone-shaped handles, koopas with scarred beaks and toads with the odd chunk taken out of their fungus heads. In the midst of the offloading ships where huge boxes were cradled down to the pier, Roy navigated through to reach the main office of the shipping authority to see if any new jobs were taking. But he was to come away empty-handed on the unfortunate news that they were all out of positions to give, having most of their workers from all over the world from various ports.

With little else to do, he went back to the Kennidons' house where he was greeted by James wearing a long pair of blue overalls a few minutes after knocking.

"Heeey Roy."

"Sup FG?"

The raptor invited him in with Charlie greeting him gladly nuzzling his steel ball frame against Roy's leg as they walked out to the back of the house. James put on his boots that he left beside the back door as he made his way into the small allotment that occupied one side of the garden, a bare rectangle of earth where many plants grew into slow and steady crop in its own caged area with a gate to lead inside it. The brown raptor began working as he gently scraped a line in the dirt with a hoe to distribute the earth.

"You slept well?" asked James.

"Ehhh, not too bad. How's your gardenin'?"

"Doing great. Thought about putting some pumpkins in here, I think these turnips are on their way out soon."

"You never told me how you got into gardenin', ah thought you'd wanna be more into sumthin' requirin' less patience."

"My dad's a grocer so he gave me a lotta tips, said it was a good way to keep your muscles strong and helps to keep yourself sufficient."

"Wait, your dad?"

James looked up with a slight frown.

"Koopin's dad, my father-in-law."

"Ohhh righ' righ' sorry."

"S'alright...anyways, he said if I was worried about losing my muscles then gardening was good to keep them strong."

"He do any of it?"

"Sometimes, but he's gotten pretty old so he now has other people do it for him, mainly he just runs the grocery, it's a full-time job."

"Yeah ah bet...does Mrs. Kennidon do any work?"

"Not officially, sometimes she gets hired back into some old gigs with her group, just some small concerts here and there, but it's not regular."

"Ah never heard any of her stuff, be nice to hear it sumtahm."

"I'm sure she'll gladly give you a copy...awww dammit, I just remembered."

"Whut?"

"I forgot I was meant to get shopping, got so carried away with my gardening I just-uhhhh-"

"Ahll grab you sum stuff."

"Really?"

"Yeah, ahll go grab it for you, you got a list?"

James briefly stopped his gardening and took off his boots returning to the house to write up a list of things, specifying the brand also as well as handing him some coins for payment. He headed out with an estimate of at least forty minutes until he was back walking into town towards the market, a long stretch of avenue that had several stores open beneath their own coloured awnings. One of the things Roy was amazed by was the fact there was no supermarket, no huge businesses weeding out the smaller mom and pop operations that sprung up around the place, but there were a few chain businesses. Most of them however were bars yet everybody had a purpose, everyone was able to contribute with a store for different needs. He appreciated it, wondering how many of them were actually family-run.

Around fifteen minutes of careful navigation later, Roy had managed to find all but two of the things on James' list which were now safely in a shopping bag as he headed into the next general store, which was being run by a Boo in a cute black bowtie and milkman's hat. Two other customers were wandering around the biscuits in the corner struggling to decide between jam or chocolate.

"Hi there!"

"Hi, um, do you have any low-fat fully-skimmed milk....aaaand also sum Blarggonzola cheese?"

"The milk is over at the very back, and the cheese is in the second aisle to your right."

"Thank you."

He wasn't sure what the difference was between some of the stores, though he did note the produce came from different regions amidst the three aisles and two fridge sections they had as he brought the food back to the counter.

"That'll be twenty-five coins please."

The raptor pulled out the small change that James had given him as the Boo chuckled softly.

"Heeheh, feelin' a li'l homesick?"

"Huh?"

"Blarggonzola, from Dinosaur Land? Noticed yer ID in your wallet, I never met anybody from there."

"Hmm-OH, oh naw well...m-maybe ah guess, it's pretty nice."

He briefly looked at his citizen's card which claimed that he was a "Rex" and was born thirty-seven years ago in Dinosaur Land. James also received a similar ID as a perfect sanctioned forgery by the Koopa Kingdom, under sworn obligation by certain forces of that kingdom to never speak of any outside worlds beyond this one. Whatever lives they lead next, their IDs for all intents and purposes was legally-binding truth.

"So whassit like?" asked the boo.

"Hmm?"

"Your home, what's it like? I never get any chance to travel with this job so I like to ask people that walk in."

"Oh, well uh, it's really big, pretty barren of most things lahk a government or any proper commerce, but it's nice yanno just...not a lotta things to do, unless you lahk traipsin' through jungles an' forests an' mountains."

"That why you came here?"

"Yeah ah just wanted a...taste of civilisation ah guess, wuz nice back home but it kinda got borin' a good while."

"Yeaaaah I hear ya, I used to live out west in Monstro Town, it's nice but it...well, kinda boring but some people just want some peace."

"That goes for me too-"

"Wha-HEY STOP! THIEF!"

Roy turned swiftly to see a flash of something small dodge out of the front door as his legs suddenly bolted. Like a racehorse from the track, he left his bag of food at the counter and saw two purple figures dodging through the street.

"AHLL BE BACK," he shouted back to the boo, "JUST KEEP A HOLD ONTO MAH STUFF!"

The raptor pounded his feet harsh upon the cobbled smooth streets, the sun glistening down upon his head as he kept sight on the two thieves. From their height and the tiny robes they appeared to be shy guys carrying a hunk of cheese each whilst swerving round toads and goombas amidst al fresco chairs and tables. Some of the chairs were knocked over amidst the rushing panic, folks in a bluster at the sight of two indigo blurs followed by a sudden swoop of grey and black.

"COME BACK HERE YOU PUNKS, AIN' NOBODY GONNA STEAL TODAY!"

Koopas and bob-ombs suddenly pinned themselves up against the walls to dodge the thrilling spree, as the sight of a few toad guards up ahead made the thieves swerve in haste down towards the alley to their left which was too small for Roy to pass through. The guards slipped right in armed with spears whilst the raptor decided to grab an old broom handle from the garbage near and journey overhead.

"WULD!"

With blasting force from his fists, he jettisoned up into the air with a mighty gust and landed upon the roof, racing across the terracotta stone catching brief glimpses of the bandits underneath in the alley. Heading out into another street, they crossed straight into another alleyway with the toads keeping up the chase, whilst Roy pushed himself across the air with furious propulsion from his spark-blue fingers. Throughout the town there came gasps of confusion, people dodging fretfully as the shy guys barged and slid their way through with surprising skill. Sweeping underneath the carriages, hopping over stalls with acrobatic agility, they were slowly losing the guards by a variety of tricks in turning the average street into a fully-laid obstacle course.

Sometimes they were more devious in knocking out the stands so piles of fruit went rolling out on the street, or whacking chairs across the yard hitting a guard in the face unless they whirled their spears deftly to protect themselves. But none of them had noticed the ever-constant threat of something shadowing them literally. It wasn't until they reached an intersection with two roads leading left and right that they felt something thud hard in front of them, an earth-crushing power from the sound of a steel fist crunched into the earth.

"WHA-HWOAH!"

"WHAT THE HECK?!"

"...you ain't gettin' away that easy."

The black raptor stood up from his crouching brace in front of them, cracking his metal digits whilst holding an old broom handle in his other hand. Rings glistening from his left gloved fingers in the warm sunny afternoon.

"Ah think you all forgot to pay."

"Can it dinoboy!"

"You don't mess around with the Shyster brothers! Now get out of our way or else YOU'LL be the one to pay hwoh!"

"Hah, nice reversal bro!"

The two brofisted but Roy simply cricked his neck whilst twirling his new shoddy staff casually.

"Last chance. Give up that food or else ahma crack yo' faces in half."

"Sorry pal, but it's just not your day, isn't that right brother?!"

"Dang straight hwoh!"

Holding their round hunks of stolen cheese in one hand, the two shy guys whipped out a miniature ball and chain each from beneath their robes in the shape of nasty little chain chomps. Not living ones of course but rather fashionable bolas with a surprising range as they swung out to strike at Roy who whipped forth his broomstick and allowed one chain to wrap itself tightly round the handle. Pulling hard brought one of the thieves up close and personal flying towards his fist, clocking him powerfully in his mask as he went falling straight back into a crumpled heap, his cheese rolling across the street unfettered. But the other brother was smarter, charging forwards with a swishing chain towards the feet as Roy swiftly hopped over to swing down his weapon fiercely.

The shy guy dodged backflipping impressively despite still holding onto his ill-gotten prize as he sliced upwards his chain flail striking upon Roy's face, the raptor blocking its ascent with his metallic fist sparking small scrapes off his wrist. Almost immediately upon landing the Shyster did a wild leap and a cartwheel, slicing forwards to try attacking Roy from above but the raptor saw the hop and strafed ducking to the side with staff ready to swipe. The thief threw his cheese wheel high whilst in mid-air, before grabbing his chain in both hands to block Roy's strike, tightening rigid iron in front of his masked features as the force knocked him back. Landing harshly upon his little feet, the purple bandit put out one hand to deftly catch his cheese wheel before spinstriking hard with horizontal sweep flail to crack at Roy's knee. The raptor struck fast against with the broom handle, but the iron ball recoiled off against it at a perfect distance forcing the shy guy to start spinning the opposite direction.

Twirling upon his toes like a ballerina, the Shyster switched direction back and forth with every crack of the steel ball against Roy's wood, forcing him to keep away until MacGregor had enough and blasted a shot of fire from his steel fist, nanos sparking brightly to crackle a short ball of flame unto the bandit. Surprised as he was, the Shyster was swift in evasion as he flung his cheese once again up in the air before leaping upwards deftly. He landed on his head, but still continued to spin with chain in one hand like a breakdancing fool, with cheese landing upon the soles of his feet.

"Okay now you just showin' off!" shouted Roy.

"What's wrong, my style too fresh for you, hwoh?!"

"Naw, just waitin' on your timeout buddy!"

"Hw-huh?!"

The sudden jump Roy made whilst the bandit kept up his spinning tactic seemed like a fool's errand at first, but that only proved to stop the fight completely as he planted his staff straight in the middle of the chain's length, trapping it sharply like a snake under a tire tread. Jerked from his headspinning as he came to a rigid halt, the thief had not even seen the other toad guards come close enough before being set upon by two of them, bonked fiercely on the head with staffs and swiftly getting cuffed with his brother still dazed.

"You're under arrest, Shyster!"

"WHA-get off me punk, I ain't no jailbird hwoh!"

"Well there's a first time for everything, so you better start practicin' yer singing!"

"I'm a dancer fungus breath, you want somebody to sing go drag your face down to the club!"

"Get over 'ere!"

The two bandits were dragged harshly off the street, as a third guard picked up their dairy produce from the scene before turning towards Roy.

"Sir, can I ask what your name is?"

"It's Roy. Roy MacGregor."

"You know normally we don't encourage citizens to go chasing after bandits on their own."

"Yes sir."

"Mind telling me why you got involved in this?"

"I wuz at thuh Boolean General, those two stole that stuff from there whilst ah wuz shoppin'."

"So you're a witness?"

"Yes sir, me an' thuh boo that wuz mannin' thuh place."

"Well in that case, mind coming down to the guardhouse and helping us out with these two?"

"Sure but uh, can ah get mah stuff an' we also return this stuff to mister Boolean first? Ah want him to know that everything's cool."

"Alright then, we'll explain it to him. Hey, nice work stalling them by the way."

"Yeah?"

"You're not bad, I mean officially we can't encourage that sorta stuff but you? You're pretty good, you'd make a great bouncer or guard even."

"You...think so?"

"Well you stopped the Shyster brothers, I mean that's a pretty tall order right there since they're not exactly slow!"

"Yeah ah noticed...damn they had sum nice moves on 'em."

"Well I mean they were previously circus acts I mean...hah, alright, let's go mister MacGregor."

They walked back to return the cheese to Boolean's store, who was overwhelmed with gratitude for Roy's actions and even offered to give him his purchases for free which took a lot of convincing for Roy to eventually accept. He took his shopping and went down to the guardhouse in order to give his statement before heading back towards Koopamuir in the late afternoon to tell a story to both James and eventually Koopin, who had returned from work during this story.

"Wait YOU?!" cried Koopin. "That was you in that ruckus today?!"

"Yeah, wow you heard already?!"

"I was just returning from work when I heard that Boolean's got robbed by the Shyster brothers, you really took them down?!"

"Yeah! Whut, they famous or sumthin'?!"

"Well...sorta, I mean they're kinda recent, old circus acts hitting places, went down a bad path, got too greedy, the usual story."

"Well, that's whut happened. Heh, gotta admit, felt pretty good catchin' crooks."

"You just can't help yourself can you?" replied James. "You gotta bust some criminal no matter what world you're in."

"Whut, ah mean it happened righ' in front of me whut else wuz ah supposed to do?!"

"I know, I know I'm not saying it's bad just, kinda funny you always keep pulling this Batman shtick."

"Batman?" asked Koopin.

"It's a hero thing from back home but anyways, glad it all went okay. It's getting late though, man the day just went away huh?"

"When you bury your head in the dirt half the day like an ostro, yeah."

"Oh jeez...is this what dad had to deal with too?"

"Hahah I'm just joking honey."

"I know...heh, it's funny, you're a lot more like mum than you think."

"I like to hope I got the best from both. So, you staying to watch something Roy, or-"

"Nah ah think ahma head home," replied MacGregor, "been a long day out an' just ah wanna git back to sum good readin' now ah think about it."

"Awww okay then. See you tomorrow, no wait actually I work tomorrow, Koopin'll be here though."

"Alrighty, later."

"Goodnight!"

With a firm nod and a wave, he left the Kennidon household to make his way back towards Toad Town. That night he slept peacefully, the first good sleep in a long time and he knew exactly the reason why. Encouraging himself by reading further on tales of foolish mockery upon the acts of chivalry, he decided that tomorrow was going to be the first day of his new life in the Mushroom Kingdom.

Despite being possibly the largest settlement on the continent, Roy had managed to memorise every major landmark well enough to find the guardhouse easily. Much like the rest of the kingdom, it was surprisingly welcoming and gentle in its colours to all visitors both guilty and innocent. With pale yellow walls and wooden desks, plants and chairs to sit in, the place more resembled a post office than a police station. Two toads were waiting seated as receptionists at the bar-long entrance, separating the lobby from the rest of the building behind.

"Can I help you?" asked one of them.

"Um yes, ah would....nnhmm, I would like to apply to be a Toad Town guard."

"...really?"

It was surprise rather than disbelief in the toad's voice, who literally had to crane his neck up to see Roy's expression.

"Well...I admit we don't get too many applicants and usually they are a lot...uhhh-"

"Shorter?"

"I prefer the term 'stocky' but...can I see your ID, mister...?"

"MacGregor. Roy MacGregor and sure."

He handed over the laminated card from his wallet and despite knowing it was authentic enough, felt strangely nervous like he was buying illegal narcotics for the first time. The toad however simply smirked quizzically at the ID and handed it back saying:

"Well I mean if you wanna try out for the guards I got no reason to stop you. So you're from Dinosaur Land huh?"

"Yep."

"I've never seen a Rex without wings and a horn."

"Um...yes, I know, that's a very sensitive issue and I would rather you did not bring attention to my disabilities, sir."

"......oh...o-oh jeez I'm s-so, sorry, I had no idea-"

"It's fine, can I go through or is there a form I have to sign?"

"Uh, le-let me just get someone."

The toad pressed a button on the counter and not more than three minutes later there came a more professional-looking toad with green spots in full guard display, with armour smooth in steel sheen whilst sporting a luxuriously sweet moustache that barricaded his cheeks like iron fences. Apparently a sergeant of some descript, he took Roy towards the back of the building where there lied an indoor training course with a variety of obstacles. Pegs in the ground, hurdles, climbing wall frames, ropes and everything else Roy could remember from his days at high school gym.

"So, you want to be part of the town guard hmm?" said the toad veteran.

"Yes sir."

"And why is that if you pardon my asking?"

"Because...when I was a kid, I always wanted to be some kinda law enforcement, like an officer of sum kind, but things got in mah way an' sorta lost that-"

"It's not good enough just to BE an officer of the law, you want to be a part of the uniform for a good reason, now what reason may that be?!"

"....I wanna keep people safe. I don' want any bad stuff to happen in a nice place lahk this."

"Hmm...let me look at your eyes, Roy was it?"

The black raptor turned and bowed forwards obediently to let the sergeant gaze into his eyes. They were tired but stern, faded bitterness and a lost youth resonating within which he understood perfectly.

"You are not ready to retire from your past, whatever that may be?"

"I am. That's why ah want to be useful an' protect thuh people."

"Well, that won't mean any squat when you cannot even pass the endurance test, now we have a very high standard in our unit so I hope that you not being a toad will become a hindrance."

"It shouldn't be, sir. Whut should ah do first?"

"Well, firstly, see how fast you can clear up this track and come back to me within a single lap. Then I will see how much I can push you."

He nodded with understanding and readied himself to tear up the course with as fast and focused a time he could make. It took him over a month to complete every obstacle, every training circuit, every track and every exercise the sergeant would give him not because he was weak. But rather because he was being tested to his absolute limits. When he finished a hundred metres, he was told to do a hundred more, when he finished a thousand he was told to do another thousand. He almost imagined this was how the military trained its people in every world.

With every new day that came, he felt more revived than ever before, his boost of enthusiasm continuing all through the regime as he felt a stubbornness become reborn within him. An oddly warm familiar spirit in his heart as he ran, swam, dodged and clambered over the next eight weeks of what was a surprisingly rigorous routine for such a passive kingdom. Not that it mattered in the end because whatever standards they required, Roy tore easily through them on realising that they were measured upon the standards of the average toad, not the average "rex".

The hard part was the mental exam, having to memorise the laws and practices of the Mushroom Kingdom. Koopin helped him between weekly sessions after becoming ecstatic with joy upon seeing Roy take such an eager stance into a possible new life, with his encouragement given fully along with James as they furthered his education. From right of way to Yoshi politics, Roy found himself given a thorough grounding in more things than he expected, but in the end it would all be proven its worth. In the space of almost two months, Toad Town found its new guard being inducted as Roy braced himself for his first full day. He still felt there was something missing, staring at himself in the mirror of the bathroom with his new guard clothes, a clean blue cloak tailor-made to his size along with a sleek set of chainmail underneath, a shield with the royal symbol and a finely tipped spear. But now he felt useful, more able to pass the years as a reliable standard-ranking member of the law. Confidence bristling on his chest with a hearty smile despite him thinking out loud:

"Welp. Ah mean it's blue so ah guess it counts righ'? Heh...promised you ah would be a boy in blue, just not in thuh same street or city or...world, even so...hhhhh...hmm. Thought ah would be more excited about this, ah mean here ah am ready to be a law enforcer but ah just...ehhh whatever, just not gonna think about it an' hope it all goes well righ' mom an' dad? Yeah. Ah got this. I got this."

Arriving at the guardhouse early morn, Roy received his first orders along with every other member of the garrison. The guards were apparently split into different rotas for both day and night, settling in with the daytime crowd amongst a small roomful of spears and shields rattling gently beside their owners for which he stuck out painfully, like a bloated sore thumb easily a foot taller than everyone around him. The conversations between guards ranging from usual gossip to the strange new recruit soon died off once the sergeant came in, the very same one that Roy had been training under.

"Alright alright settle down folks. First, I know you are curious about our newest recruit, but remember we are here to perform our duty in our kingdom regardless of news. So feel free to discuss this on your off-duty but right now...numbers one to four you are on entrance duty, six to eight you are on the south side this month, nine to twelve you are along the eastern town border and lastly...thirteen, fourteen, fifteen and sixteen you are handling the town centre, keep your eyes sharp and listen. You are dismissed."

With saluting shields they headed out the door to their various posts, the smaller toads gently making their way out as Roy navigated himself around awkwardly the sea of spears as he followed his new partner. A yellow-spotted toad with pale sideburns that Roy wasn't sure if it was actual hair or some sort of fungal growth.

"So, big guy."

"Hmm?"

"My money's on you bein' the new guy am I right?"

"Uh yeah, ahm Roy."

"I'm Stul T., pleased to meetcha. You lived in this town long?"

"Naw...well, maybe, is six months long enough for you?"

"Long enough to be a marriage sure! Hah, so I heard you were the guy that took down those Shyster brothers, aintcha?"

"Yep, sure am."

"That's awesome, good to know our cheese is safe."

"Is that a big deal round here, lahk there's money in cheese?"

"I dunno, I'm lactose-intolerant so they don't put me down on dairy thefts."

"That happen often?"

"No...but it happens, yanno."

The two soon reached the centre of the town, perfectly intersecting one of the busier regions of the kingdom as Roy noticed every direction having a major throughway. The day was slightly colder than usual but still shining brightly, feeling thankful for the uniform as a small traffic came passing through, from lakitus to goombas to even the odd pianta as they met newcomers with welcoming arms and smiles practiced. Roy made certain not to show his teeth for he knew that he had a more fearsome presence than most.

For most of their duties, guards in Toad Town acted close to being tourist information booths, easily navigating the ways of the town for any foreign folk who seemed to be a bit lost. Most of the month went by without incident, almost certainly nothing like the chase he had which was perfectly fine. He wasn't in this just to be some reckless hero, he had plenty of that happen in his younger days. He wanted to be stable, more stern and secure with his future in a noble respected occupation. One that he could make respectful by his own merit. No incidents came upon him, beyond a few arguments, the occasional lost tourist and even surprisingly one or two indecent folk being intoxicated when out in public. He filed his paperwork dutifully, he cared for his weapon and shield, he pressed his clothes and in that small routine of laborious mild tedium he found an inner peace. Something he had long waited for to experience, the drudgery of mundane life. He was coming closer to it as he struggled not to smile during an altercation with two carriage drivers that briefly collided on the roads.

"I was the right of way!"

"You couldn't even tell WHAT way you were going you dingbat!"

"You say ONE MORE WORD and I will sue you right here!"

"Alriiiight enough!"

Roy bade silence from a koopa and a bumpty, a male and female respectively as their two wagons had dented the other at a crossroads. He readied himself with pencil and notebook, shield hanging behind his right shoulder with spear cradled inside his left arm.

"You first," he said to the bumpty.

"I was travelling from the west with my carriage of course, I make it to this intersection when this idiot comes ramming into me without even looking."

"Did you look left and right before crossing?"

"Yes of course I did!"

"Just routine questions sir, no offence meant...did you indicate also?"

"Yeeees."

"Alrigh', an' which way did the other driver come from?"

"To my left, y-you can see it right there on the front of my carriage."

"Okay now you next."

"I was heading south," said the koopa, "I slowed down when I reached the crossroads but before I knew it THIS guy came rolling out from my right and hit my vehicle!"

"Were you moving at thuh time, or were you stopping?"

"I was stopping, definitely."

"And did you stop at thuh line up there?"

"Of course I did!"

"So how did he manage to hit you if you were stopping?"

"Wha-...I...I-i-i dunno, ask HIM he's the one that hit me!"

"You hit ME you shell-head!"

"HEY!"

Roy swivelled himself towards the bumpty with pencil pointing at him.

"Sir we do NOT use that language here, you wanna make a complaint, you do so with a respectable tone."

"BUT SHE-"

"Until I clear this up, both of you are under caution, so do not take that attitude with me or else, is that understood?"

"Yes, officer."

Despite all of this nonsense and pointless bickering, this was the dream for Roy MacGregor. Simple enforcement of rules, keeping people safe from each other's idiocy. Every day was a new story of small confusions and it took very little to change it. But then along came one particularly odd case that Roy only wished he had the authority to title as something cool and noir-ish for the details that spiralled through towards the end of his first year. A case that he would love to call "The Rule of Three".

After his first month of being an official guard, Roy's circle of friends began to expand slightly beyond that of the Kennidon family. With proper pay coming in, he managed to negotiate a new deal with his rent while discussing it over breakfast with Flo T.

"Was it my advice that helped, mister MacGregor?"

"Sure did, ah gotta say this job worked out a lot better than ah woulda expect. So, we cool now about thuh rent?"

"You're now the one paying yes, and I expect it on the seventh of every month."

"Why thuh seventh?"

"It's the easiest day of the month to pay according to bank regulations."

"Huh, that's nice. Lissen uh, if you still need sumbody to give a hand for jobs around here ahm still open for that."

"Only if it's not too much trouble dear."

She smiled sweetly, increasing the dimples of her cheeks to look like a little pot of jam that Roy found charming. He gave her a swift hug which surprised her and caused her to blush hotly.

"Thanks again for breakfast miss. Dunno whut ah would do without you."

"Oooooh I don't know what I would do without you too...hhhhhmmmmmm..."

The elder toad could not resist sneaking her hands around him in the hug whilst feeling his thick muscled ribs with a gentle bite of her lips at how sturdy they were. He was more pebbly than a yoshi was which gave an interesting texture she never felt, but that only gave much more intrigue before she let him to go. He took his leave before finding himself partnered with Stul T. once again at the town centre, a less busy day than usual which gave Roy plenty of time to simply observe the town with tender scrutiny.

"Is it me or is it getting colder?" asked Stul T.

"Naw ah feel it too. Is that normal fer this month?"

"Ehhh, kinda, but I was hopin' for a longer summer."

"Ah gotta question, whutsit take to be a castle guard as opposed to a town guard?"

"Oh dude castle guards are like the best, that's where all the professional town guards go when they show enough skill, or experience."

"Hmmm...ah haven't heard that good a track record from all thuh invasions."

"Pfft, typical. What about all the times they DIDN'T get invaded? You only heard about the successful ones where Bowser kidnaps the princess, but all the times they didn't get in the door, that's the castle guards. The only invasion plans that work are the super crazy ones they can't even predict, like that whole Star Rod fiasco."

"Yeah ah heard about that...damn that musta been years ago, this Mario still around?"

"Oh yeah totally!"

"...wait, how old IS he?"

"I got no idea but man he does not age, he still looks the same fighting fit dude the last twenty years I saw him. Heck I was just a wee tot when the Thousand-Year Door event happened."

"Thuh whut now?"

"Man, you been living under a rock or what?!"

"No but...heh, wuz that a joke at my expense?"

"Only if you want it to be."

"Excuse me, officers!"

From above they heard the sound of flapping wings to slowly land before them, a red-shelled parakoopa with mailbag and goggles.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I was on my route and I'm kinda worried about one of my regulars. See, he always gets my mail, most people just let it slide in through the slot and he always greets me every morning but now today he...well, didn't."

"Maybe he's on holiday?" asked Stul T.

"Well no because he always notifies the post office when he does so we hold his mail for him, not let it pile up at the door. Could you check on him please?"

"Alright, lead the way."

Taking the lead, the mailkoopa flew softly down the street at a good seven feet above the ground, stretching his wings next to Roy who smiled replying:

"You know mah dad wuz a postal worker."

"Really? They have mail service in Dinosaur Land?"

"Oh yeah, lahk it's pretty basic but we have it, everybody loved him, he always greeted people straight up at thuh door with a good mornin' an' such, lahk whut you're doing now."

"Well I always like to know the people on my route, you know, in case something like this happens. It's kinda scary to imagine if you were trapped in your house and nobody came round and never noticed what happened."

"That happen often?"

"...actually no, never. I mean that's good but it's just I meet a lot of older people who live on their own so you know I kinda worry."

"How long you been workin' for thuh post?"

"About nine years. Here we are."

They came down towards the end of a street, a cosy little cul-de-sac with a row of single-floor houses terraced along each side of the street. The house of interest was number 71 as the mailkoopa knocked carefully.

"Mister Sher T.? Mister Sher T. hello? Are you in?! ...see, I know he's in, I've been delivering to this address since I started and he's never slept in."

Roy looked through the window and saw nothing completely out of the ordinary, a small fireplace with two chairs, bottle of whisky on the table, some bookcases. He asked the mailkoopa once again:

"Are you sure he's in?"

"I've never known him to leave the house this early, like ever, he works at the TGA and their working hours start at nine."

"Alrigh' in that case we have to-"

"Break the door down?!" replied Stul T.

"Wha-no you doofus we gotta play this safe, lemme do this."

Taking a small pick from his guard's satchel which contained basic instruments of his duty, he carefully began to twist it into the lock of the door until the tumblers clicked. Yet he found something even more surprising after a minute of tweaking.

"...it's unlocked."

"Wait what?"

Roy turned the door handle softly as it simply swung open without need.

"Tumblers were already open."

"Wait, you know how to lockpick?!"

"Yes, back home. ...ah lost mah keys a lot, this kinda became a necessity."

"Hhhheheheh, well look at you with all your secrets."

"That doesn't make sense," said the koopa, "he always keeps it locked."

They found quite a scene, with almost nothing out of place. Except for the lone toad who laid unconscious face-down on the floor as Roy rushed over quickly to check his pulse.

"OHHH my stars!" panicked the mailkoopa. "I knew it, I-i just KNEW this would happen one day!"

"......still breathin'. He's alive, but he's out lahk a light."

"I'll call for an ambulance," said Stul T., "Roy, look around and see what you can find for our report and check for anything stolen?"

"Wh-what about me?" asked the koopa.

"You get back to your routine, we got this covered. Thanks for the heads-up, this might have gone worse for the poor guy if we hadn't found him."

"O-okay, g-good luck!"

The mailkoopa took his leave flapping upwards whilst the toad guard went to find a phone, leaving Roy to look over the very odd scene. The living room with two chairs and a small table was strangely immaculate, the fire long burnt out in the fireplace as he noticed two further rooms beyond in the left and right corner of the living space. The left was the kitchen and the right was the bedroom as he checked the toad's body further to see if there was any problem he may have missed. His hands were gloved, different from his usual wear in that they were more fibrous for dexterity as well as to allow no contamination on any crime scenes.

"Hmmmm...breathing is normal...bad bruise on thuh back of his neck, musta been clobbered good. With whut?"

Placing the toad safely into the recovery position to help ensure his safety, the raptor began making a small circuit around the main area, minding his head due to his rather exemplary height. Occasionally he would find something that caught his attention, rotating it over in his hand cautiously for any clues which more than often came up short.

"Circumstantial."

Further investigation had him poring over the books, tracing his gloved finger across the spines to try and find something out of place. Other than the fact he owned quite a few of the same classic books, there was nothing in particular that stood out.

"Optimistic, Roy."

It wasn't until he came to the door itself that he found something interesting. Or rather it was the absence of what made it interesting.

"This door hasn't been forced or tampered with...hmm."

Moving back towards the two chairs, he brought out a magnifying glass to scan for any trace elements that may have buried into the folds. One of them had fungal shavings at head height, indicating the toad's regular seat, whereas the other was completely dry. He did however note the two glasses next to the bottle of whisky.

"Must have had a guest...definitely poured alcohol in both from thuh smell...so your guest wuz sumbody you knew who decided to clonk you. But why?"

He pulled out a small bottle of white spray, carefully applying it to the two glasses before revealing a set of fingerprints on both. Once the spray had set, he pulled out two smaller strips to peel off an image of the fingerprints, before placing them into a sealed pack.

"That rules out goomba, bob-omb or piranha...maybe thuh bottle wuz thuh weapon."

Roy however found only one set of fingerprints on the bottle of whisky, whilst the door handle had too many to properly register an image from. Nothing appeared to have been stolen, or was anywhere out of place as he made his way into the kitchen and bedroom. The kitchen was spotless, but the bedroom told a different story. The bed was unmade and the TV opposite was still there. A very luxurious flat-screen that took 1/3 of the wall space.

"Such a clean house, yet thuh bed...hmmm...why not take thuh TV, this looks damn expensive, why not take anything...wait."

There was something he found amiss, an empty stand with a corded plug behind it on the bedside table.

"Looks lahk a phone charger...maybe."

With suspicions raised, he walked back to the toad and rifled through his clothes carefully. He had no phone on him, which confirmed there had been a possible theft as the ambulance arrived within the next five minutes. The toad was taken away as two more guards arrived on the scene to tape off the place, along with Stul T.

"So what happened?" he asked. "You find out anything?"

"From whut ah can see, he had a guest coming over that he let in, had a drink...then got beat over thuh head with sumthin' hard an' had his phone stolen."

"You got that from this?!"

"Yeah, the door's not forced. Mailkoopa said he always kept it locked, he can't lock it if he's unconscious. Thuh bed's unmade despite everythin' else bein' clean, which meant he had to have gotten up in thuh night to invite his guest in, there's also a phone charger beside his bed with the plug left still on."

"You get any prints?"

"Some, off thuh glasses, two of 'em. Hopefully we find out soon when this guy wakes up."

"Well, for now I guess we done all we can, let the cleanup crew handle things."

"Ah gotta get back to thuh guardhouse an' write up our report, process this evidence, ahll see you back at our usual?"

"Sure, later Roy."

Heading back to HQ to process his report took only a good forty minutes before he was back out on the streets. There was nothing else he could do until the fingerprints could be matched to anyone in the database. But just before he could cross the street from the guardhouse something bumped into him.

"WHU-hey!"

He turned fast to see a rather shocked-looking creature, a portly orange yoshi with brown hair curling against her shoulders, wearing a backpack as she flustered with a squawk.

"GUHHH! U-UHN!"

"Hey, you alrigh'? You should watch where you're going miss."

"UH...S-sth-..."

She briefly mouthed the word "sorry" before a flustered shameful look came over her, looking down towards the ground which made Roy soften his gaze.

"Heyyyy hey it's alrigh', no biggie. Just keep your eyes ahead that's all."

Gently she looked up realising Roy's uniform and offered a piece of paper that was in her hand, showing a printout of Toad Town from above with one particular building indicated.

"Ohhh...you wanna know where this is?"

The yoshi nodded pleading with her hands clasped.

"Sure ahll show you, jus' follow me."

The place was somewhere down near the docks in the southwest portion of the town, the raptor walking ahead of the visitor who followed dutifully. Her boots clumped behind him noisily like a marching band, heavy steps along the cobbled roads until around ten minutes later they found her destination, a travel agency specialising in island cruises as she bounced happily at the sight of it. She grabbed Roy's hands and mouthed "thank you" to him.

"Heh, no problem miss."

The yoshi departed after giving him a big smooch, planted right on his cheek as she waved him goodbye walking into the travel agency. Roy softly rubbed the warm spot on his face with a little blush coming over him, stunned as he made his way back towards Stul T.'s post.

"There you are, what kept ya?"

"S-sorry, I uh...had to show sumbody around, girl got lost."

"Ooooooh a giiiiirl eh?"

"Shut up."

"Heheheh...so, like I was saying, you really don't know anything about the Thousand-Year Door?"

"Nope, but ah bet your just dyin' to tell me."

Stul T. whiled away the time doing just that until it was time for the guards to change sometime around 7pm. The next day, both of them were at the hospital to interrogate the toad now recovered fully enough from his attack to start speaking, a pristine white establishment with smooth air conditioning and a surprisingly diverse choice of magazines in the large reception hall. Chairs lined up the central area in the form of serpentine couches with wonderfully cushy seats, various posters of health and safety lining the walls of mint green as Roy and Stul T. were taken through to the wards.

Roy was surprised at the diversity of the Mushroom Kingdom's residents having all sorts of problems amongst them. Toads with bandaged arms, koopas with cracked beaks, boos in quarantine from some insufferable disease until they reached the bed where their target laid, bandaged around his fungal head to keep a cold compress on the back of his neck. The nurse had explained a few important details that there was alcohol in his system, and that the bruise had been the result of blunt force trauma but no idea what could have caused it.

"Mister Sher T.?"

"Y-yeah?"

"My name's Stul T., this is mister MacGregor, we're here to talk about your assault."

"O-oh...yeah I um...d-dunno what happened but I'll um...do my best."

The raptor pulled out his notebook and started to make his inquiry.

"Do you remember whut happened two nights ago?"

"I...was watching TV, just relaxing after a long day. I got hungry and tried to make something to eat, midnight snack and I...I-i-i must have fallen and hit my head pretty hard."

"You were drinking last night?"

"Y-y-yes...I was, I um...must have had a little too much."

"Hmmm...do you live alone?"

"I do, yeah."

"Do you ever have any visitors? In fact, did you have any visitors that night perhaps?"

"I um...I don't...don't remember, why do you ask?"

"Your front door wuz unlocked. Thuh mailkoopa who's on your route wuz thuh one that called us, said you didn't greet him yesterday mornin' lahk you always do, an' he said you never leave your door unlocked."

"O-oh...right, noooo wait there was someone...augh jeez I just had way too much to drink, I had a friend of mine he um, came into town, he works long distances so we decided to catch up."

"Whut's his name?"

"Pianza. Salto Pianza."

"Is there a way ah can contact him?"

"I-i don't know, sorry, I don't have any numbers."

"Why not?"

"He travels all over the place it would be really inconvenient with long distance calls."

"You got a phone don't you?"

"Yeah but he doesn't. He um, he has no reason to need one, all of his work is very focused in one area with his company."

"Whut work does he do exactly?"

"Offshire oil rigging."

"Ah huh...do you know where your phone is?"

"I um...i-it's at home right?"

"No," said Stul T.,"it's been stolen. That's why we come to see you, because we think you're the victim of a robbery."

"Wh-what?! What the-why would anyone steal my phone, it's right in the wall!"

"Wait what?"

"You saying somebody stole my telephone, like cables and everything?!"

"Nooo no no, your cell phone!"

"What?!"

"Thuh thing next to your bed," said Roy, "there wuz a stand an' a charger but no phone wuz there."

"That's not my phone that's my Mailbox 3DS! ......wait...wait, did...you said it's not there?"

"No...it's not a phone?"

"No it's like a PDA, yanno I mean-...it's not there?!"

"Nope."

A strange look came over Sher T.'s eyes for a moment as he suddenly flickered desperately trying not to look left.

"...o-o-ohhhhh OHHHHH...ohhh right hah, I t-totally forgot, I um sent it away for repairs."

"Really?"

"Yeah! Gosh, you had me worried there, hahaha, no no I um, it crashed on me so I sent it to a tech friend of mine, actually it was-YEAH, stars I'm just...sorry, this concussion and the alcohol, my memory is REALLY shot here."

"That's alright," said Stul T., "just take your time we understand. So your Mailbox was sent for repairs."

"Yeah, that was why I had Pianza over, he's a tech specialist, he knows a great place that can do repairs real cheap, so he helped me out, took it, we had some drinks and then I let him leave. I musta passed out hard when I hit like, the fireplace or something."

"And how are you getting your Mailbox back?"

"He said he would send me it, through the mail."

"I see...well, I guess that's all we have to ask."

"Seems so," said Roy nonchalantly, "that's all we wanted to ask, thanks for helpin' mister Sher T."

"No problem," replied the toad smiling boldly, "just glad I could clear things up, I'm really sorry about all this time-wasting."

"Naw naw ah mean you were hurt, can't leave you there...actually ah been lookin' for sumthin' mahself, maybe a li'l PDA or sumthin', you know any good places to buy a Mailbox cheap?"

"I wouldn't know, sorry."

"Well where'd you get yours?"

"Oh, my company gives them out, needed to update our uh team synergy they called it so we all got them, pretty standardised. Sorry."

"S'alrigh'. Hope you recover soon, take care now."

He waved them off as the guards left the hospital, with Stul T. asking curiously at his taller partner:

"You really wanna get some overpriced junk like a 3DS?"

"Ah wuzn't gonna."

"Then why did you ask?"

"Cuz thuh more he talks, thuh more he lets slip, ahm gonna look up sumthin' later on while off-duty."

"Seriously? Well alright then, but you know nobody likes a jobsworth."

"Ahm just makin' sure about things. That guy rubs me up weird, there's sumthin' goin' on here."

"Yanno I think so too. Didya see the way he sorta reacted when we told him his Mailbox was missing?"

"Yeaaaaaah...could be an honest mistake but lemme make sum inquiries."

"I should probably check out this Salto Pianza guy and then-"

"Don't bother," said Roy, "he made that up."

"Wait what?!" cried out Stul T.

"It's a character from Don Booxote."

"Seriously? You read that book?"

"Yeah why, don't you?"

"No...well...tried to, it was way too long, you know like how it takes a whole two pages just for Don to shut up for once?"

"Heheh ah see well, thuh guy's made up, ah saw he had that book on his shelf back home so that's where he musta made up thuh name."

"So he doesn't want us to find out who stayed with him that night huh?"

"Nope. Ain't that suspicious."

With their information received, Roy and his partner headed back out from the hospital and finished up their shift, but the raptor had other ideas to head down along a different line of inquiry as he made his way towards Koopamuir. The sun had already set by the time he reached the Kennidon household with a gentle knock on the door alerting Charlie to his presence, the door opening to reveal the younger husband of the two.

"RUFF RUFF, RUFF RUFF!"

"Charlie shush! OH, hello there!"

"Ey there Koopin, howsit hangin'?"

"Ummmm...good, all good, wow you're awful late."

"Hehehyeah it's been a long day, mind if we talk?"

"Alright, come on in."

It was at this point that Roy realised he had his guard uniform still on but simply shrugged and placed his spear and shield safely to one side before sitting up on the couch. James was also there grinning up at his fellow raptor from the other end of the long seat.

"Heeeey look at you all handsome like a knight."

"Heh, you think so?"

"Yeah dude, you totally look like a proper old school knight, it's awesome."

"Ah always did look pretty good in armour."

"I'll say!" said Koopin. "You look really handsome, all studly and such."

"Now now, don't wanna make your husband jealous."

"Of you?" said James. "Yeah sure."

"I am bigger than you...in every department."

"Including your ass, wideboy."

"Hahaha...you mind if ah ask Koopin' sumthin'?"

"Um...depends?"

"Well just that um, do you have a Mailbox 3DS?"

"I used to," answered Koopin, "back when I was um DJing, but that's all behind me so I wiped it and I sold it, I didn't really need anything like that."

"Is that allowed?"

"Huh?"

"Well um, is that not from thuh company, lahk thuh TGA gave it to you?"

"Um...nooooooo I bought it myself. Why would you think that was from the company?"

"Just sumbody mentioned it, ah think he wuz just bein' stupid, but sumbody said that thuh TGA gave out Mailboxes to all their employees an' well ah wuz thinkin' abut buyin' one maybe, so wanted to ask you on recommendations."

"Oh they're very good! Just they're more for the tech hip crowd you know, like someone who's all in the latest stuff, emails, hot gigs, that kinda stuff. But we wouldn't get that from the company, we all got pagers to tell us when we're needed."

"Alrigh' then. Guess that dude wuz wrong, ahm not so sure abou' gettin' one or not."

"If you wanna be up top with the latest news then sure, but if you just wanna use something for busy stuff, get a word processor. I got one from the company, it just uses emails and word typing, that's all."

The next morning, Roy MacGregor was slowly trying to uncover the strangely vague backstory of Sher T. as he discovered also from Koopin that he worked in administration for twelve years, in the same office as him even. But other than that, very little was known about him, always kept to himself and never really had any known associates. He had little to go on, even though the fingerprints eventually came out as there being another person that night who drank with Sher T., but it wasn't anybody on their records. But the fact that he lied about the origins of his Mailbox made him think something was still amiss, and the only thing that distracted him enough from his inner thoughts was somebody passing through the street he was guarding. A shimmering orange creature around 5'6'' that took him a little time to recognise, walking through to check out the market stalls of the day. Finding himself being pulled forwards by curiosity, he wandered aimlessly in the direction of the yoshi from a few days back, her tail swishing back and forth out of curiosity. At one point, she was so overwhelmed by the multitude of choices that she had no idea what to pick first.

"Need sum help?"

She never turned round, looking left and right constantly stuck between two choices of sweet cakes or sumptuous fruits.

"Uh miss, you need sum help?"

He asked her with louder voice but still she did not hear him, and he decided to walk round to stand in front of her fully as she gasped with a smile bashfully.

"Heeeey ya notice me finally...are you lookin' for sumthin'?"

The yoshi now wore a blue vest with yellow lining and a nametag on the front of it. Roy realised at that moment that she had been completely naked yesterday, and also today forgetting that yoshis almost never wore clothing. But despite no apparent signs of cleavage or obvious slit upon her body, he became rather embarrassed at this revelation as he tried to stammer out:

"J-just, um, you...y-you look lahk you um...n-need sum help decidin', m-maybe you wan' sum r-recommendation?!"

She cocked her head curiously at his yabbering and smiled sweetly, before pulling out a small touchscreen phone from her vest pocket and typed out the words:

Are you cold?

"Whuh? Naw, naw ah ain' cold...just uh...um, never mind, so you work at thuh travel agency?"

The yoshi nodded.

"Cool, you're new in town ah bet."

She nodded again as Roy shook her hand.

"Mah name's Roy. And uh...it's nice to meet you, Yolanda."

Her name engraved on the tag saved a small gap in communication as the raptor asked:

"You wan' me to recommend sum good places? If yer not busy, cuz ah got nuthin' goin' on."

Again she nodded, never saying a word which Roy thought was odd but didn't question. With little to do he showed her around the various little stalls, noticing her variety of tastes in being basically omnivorous as she tried almost every type of food, from fish to fruit to sweets taking in the sights. Eventually she settled on buying herself a small box of seafood delicacies almost resembling that of a sushi lunch, whilst Roy decided on a dish mixed with stewed potatoes, onions and minced beef as they sat down on a small picnic table.

"You pretty hungry huh? Long day?"

Yolanda nodded voraciously whilst swiftly devouring her lunch, but still being polite to use chopsticks rather than just tear into it as Roy used a plastic spoon.

"Mmm...you lived here long?"

She shook her head and stopped eating briefly to type out:

Arrived last week, job transfer

"Ohhhh ah see, so you already with thuh company. I've only been livin' here fer about six months, ah came from Dinosaur Land."

Intrigue peaked from her eyes as her phone beeped with every letter.

Visited Yoshi Island?

"Naw actually, never been. Heh, ah know it's righ' next door, just never occurred to me, where are you from then?"

Crescent Island

"Huh, ah never heard of it, must be far away. Whut is that phone by thuh way, is that a Mailbox?"

Mailbox DS

"You don't got one of them uh, 3DS deals?"

Too pricey, this one easier to use

"Ahhh gotcha."

Finishing up her food quickly, she waited for Roy to finish his stew before typing out her next question.

Where can I buy electronics?

"Electronics? Whut lahk, toasters an' stuff?"

She nodded.

"Hmmmm, there's a place over on thuh west side that's got that sorta thing......actually...yeaaaah, ah need to get sumthin' too, come on."

He slurped up his stew and headed out after paying with Yolanda giving her half of the bill, making their way towards a medium-sized store full of gadgets and appliances. Lakitus ran the place, a sea of televisions, microwaves and other shiny products that caught the eye as they approached the front desk.

"Hello welcome to Cloud Computing, how may I help you?"

"Mah friend here's lookin' for sum parts, think you can help out?"

"I might do, whatcha need miss?"

The yoshi brought out a small paper list detailing various pieces of machinery along with the product they were originally for. A mode stirrer and magnetron antenna for a microwave, fuses for a toaster, and a water pump for a washing machine. The clerk gladly called one of his assistants to offer her what she needed, whilst Roy made another inquiry for himself.

"You sell Mailbox 3DS's here don't you?"

"We do."

"Are you thuh only people in this town that do?"

"Yes sir we are."

"Do you perhaps have a register for everyone that bought a 3DS from your place?"

"Is this part of an investigation?"

"It is."

"If you had a name to give me I would find what you needed faster on the computer."

"Sher T., lives at seventy-one Birdie Drive."

The lakitu typed away on his desktop PC, the cloud underneath him gently puffing out harmless sweet condensation in tiny vapours until he came up with nothing.

"Mmmmm sorry, mister Sher T. has never bought a Mailbox 3DS from us, but he DID buy a television from us, a 60-inch NES, got every channel, digital viewing."

"Wow, that musta been expensive."

"800 coins upfront, no small payments scheme no nothing."

"Hmm, ah see. Thanks for your help citizen."

"No problem sir...are you perhaps interested in something?"

"Mmmmm...ahll get back to you on that, see whut needs replacin' in mah house, but ahll remember you. Take care."

He walked towards Yolanda currently over at the loose parts section of the shop, a separate storage room that more resembled a junk store than anything else for the more discerningly shrewd customer. The yoshi was scrutinising every part the assistant lakitu brought.

"This one any good?"

She shook her head.

"How about this one?"

Again she shook her head.

"Okaaaay...this one."

She nodded finally.

"Ohhh, good, that all you wanted?"

Yolanda nodded again.

"Glad to help, you need anything don't be afraid to call."

With several parts in her hands she walked her way back with Roy insisting to carry the largest part and not have her overbalance. With her parts purchased, she left with the raptor and shook his hand mouthing the words "thank you" to him.

"Heh, s'alrigh', it's whut ah do for a livin' ah hope."

The yoshi reached up to kiss him on the cheek once again as he blushed deeply, which caused her to smirk at his flustered reaction.

"Wha-hey come on girl i-it's no problem, a-a-a-ah mean, yanno jus' doin' mah thing, mah job um whoo, is it warmer than usual today-"

"FFFHHHHNNHAHAA HAAAAA!"

She clasped her mouth shut with sudden fright as Roy heard her laugh for the first time. It sounded like a goonie honking in the night, which made him burst out laughing in turn.

"PFFFFTheeheehaahahaahaa! Whut?! Awww come on that wuz great!"

Shame ran through her cheeks as she scrunched her eyes fearfully turning away, but Roy pulled her chin gently back towards him.

"You got a great laugh, makes me wanna laugh with you, lahk it makes me all happy."

She shook her head not believing him, almost on the edge of tears.

"Noooooo come on ahm serious, whut you think it sound bad? That's thuh first thing ah ever heard from you an' ahm still standin' here, so it can't be bad righ'?"

Yolanda rubbed her hands nervously, her shopping bag dangling from the shoulder as she managed to calm down but still seemed pretty upset. Roy however stood patiently to ask:

"Do you not lahk your voice? Is that why you always speak with that Mailbox?"

She shook her head harshly, but kept her eyes focused on his lips.

"It can't be that bad...ah mean you ever heard a boo trying to rap? That sounds awwwwful, ah mean damn that wuz too much for me, now you don't sound lahk that do ya?"

She said nothing, not entirely sure whether to agree or disagree.

"Could you at least tell me your name? Ah know whut it is, but ah wanna hear you say it. Please?"

The yoshi became tense, biting her finger as she struggled to decide on whether to humiliate herself on this strange guard's insistence or to keep her dignity intact. She decided to keep schtum, saying nothing as she shook her head, which Roy understood.

"Alrigh' then. Ahm sorry, ah didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Can ah make it up to you?"

Pondering briefly as her eyes cleared up, she daringly opened her mouth pointing a finger towards it.

"Food? You wan' more food? Damn where you hidin' it, alrigh' then ahll-uh...wanna have more of that seafood again?"

She nodded, vigorously as he took her back to the small seafood stall and getting a smaller box than before of delicacies, which she took to go. But when it came to paying for it, she felt a pang of guilt and stopped him from putting his money down.

"Huh? No, um ah thought ah wuz payin'."

Yolanda brought out an equal amount from her wallet.

"No no ah wuz gonna-...tell you whut, you an' me pay half of it, that sound good?"

The yoshi nodded smiling, taking her food and smooching Roy again on the cheek before heading off with her purchases. He wasn't sure what entirely had happened, rubbing his neck curiously as he watched her body swish back and forth, before remembering himself and shaking his head clear.

"N-no, never mind, gotta focus on this...where'd Stul T. get to anyway, he didn't show up at our usual post."

Returning back to said post, no sign of Stul T. was seen as he stood firmly to attention holding spear and shield, his eyes ever alert for any danger. The only other important thing to note was a few errant pickpockets here and there and a bar fight that managed to shut itself down before it got too crazy. Daytime was always less trouble than the night, which wasn't a problem for Roy. What really started to bother him was the odd Sher T. and his mysterious Mailbox. He decided to follow up, pretend it was a courtesy call as he made his way down towards Birdie Drive but found once again there was no answer from Sher T.'s door.

"Mister Sher T.? Mister Sher T., are you there? You alrigh'?!"

"He's left!"

A neighbour called out to him from his right, a goomba carefully pulling down clothes from the washing line with her teeth.

"You just missed him, he went to see his family, said to the mailkoopa to hold his mail until he gets back."

"You know where he went?"

"He was going to the docks last I saw, so probably taking a ship!"

"Alrigh', thanks miss!"

He raced his way down to the docks seeing several ships in port. Two of them were passenger ships whilst the other three were handling cargo as he scanned across the harbour for his target. Sure enough, he spotted Sher T. from the clear bruise on the back of his neck hopping onto a large iron red cargo ship known as the Tricorvid, bribing a bob-omb sailor to give him passage into the hold.

Roy had the strangest feeling that this required a more stealthy approach, smoothly waltzing his way over to the other side of the ship by hiding amongst several piles of crates. Seeing that some of them were being lifted by crane onto the boat, he carefully wedged himself between two boxes and waited to be lifted up into the sky. As the creaking whirr of the crane transported him over the ship, Roy caught a glimpse of the topside from the navigation cabin at the stern to the rather stalwart bare bow with no figurehead even to call it home. Workers ambled back and forth as a single smoke stack obscured enough of his entrance, jumping off to swing down by rope along the side of the large stack.

From there, whilst still managing to hold onto his spear and shield in one hand, the raptor slipped into the underpassage leading straight towards the hold, amongst solid steel halls that echoed his footsteps beyond into the dark. It wasn't until he managed to reach halfway that he heard two voices, one of them most clearly that of the suspect toad as he carefully turned on a device from his left hand, faintly illuminating orange light through the corridors.

"We warned you about this."

"Look, I know I screwed up but that was ONE time!"

"He has no time for your 'one time', Sher T. You were contracted to be our branch in Toad Town, and you have proven to be most inadequate. Too little, too late."

"Do you know how tight things are here?! I got you that passage to Dry Dry Desert didn't I?! You can't cut me out like this!"

"But your usefulness has started to dry up after the fiasco last year."

"So why are you kicking me out now?!"

"We found a new specialist, someone more savvy than you."

"More savvy than ME?! Who the heck do you think you are, I've worked my butt off for you guys and all you give me is a thump to the back of my head!"

"Be glad it was just that, Sher T."

"No, YOU listen to me! I am owed compensation for what I've done for you punks, I stuck my neck out for you and thanks to your pianta friend I got the guards breathing down my neck! You wanna get anywhere in this town, you need ME-GURGHK!"

Roy turned a corner into the somewhat-spacious hold, seeing a toad getting choked quite ferociously by a dark purple yoshi with short rigid black hair, wearing an immaculate black suit and loafers to match on his feet, hoisting Sher T. a few feet into the air with just one single arm. His voice was like a knife slicing through butter, sharp and straight.

"Do you know...how much time I wasted coming here, having to deal with your inadequate skill?"

"GH-GHHRK!"

"I have better things to do for mister Rodin than come into shore on this foetid scrapheap, you couldn't even get our foot in the door at Roy's bar...I haven't eaten in two days, sitting in this squalor so do not test me."

"I-i-i just...need-"

"You're fired. Don't come back, we left no trace for the guards to find and the only weak link was you. Always you."

"DROP HIM, NOW!"

The raptor made his appearance with spear and shield at the ready, standing a good 17 feet from them. The yoshi was not amused, his face barely registering as he turned towards Sher T.

"See? If you hadn't come here...you would have been enjoying your nice new television but now you'll be cancelled, permanently."

"N-NO, NOOO-GHHHHHNNNNNN!"

Roy could only watch in horror at the purple yoshi suddenly swallowing Sher T. whole, tongue wrapping thickly around the toad's head before pulling him with such strength as his mushroom head was forced deep inside his throat.

"HEY, HEY! LET GO OF HIM YOU SUNUVABITCH, THUH FUCK YOU DOIN'?!"

Wriggling feet disappeared into the yoshi's maw, throat expanding like rubber as the squirming form disappeared beneath his suit, bloating out with his new-forming gut as he belched with a smile. The sight of such a clean easy swallowing disturbed Roy immensely having never seen such capacity for gluttony in his life.

"Brrrrrup! Mmmhh...glrk. Don't worry officer, I'm simply helping your...inquiries by tying up some...loose ends."

"Wh-whut thuh shit...that...you, you ain' leavin' this town until ah get sum answers, who are you!? Who's Rodin an' whut's your business with Sher T.?"

"My business with Sher T. is that he is now becoming lunch and to answer your first two questions, I shall answer that with the phrase 'dinner is now served'."

He couldn't even see the tongue that lashed out like a sonic whip, flicking across the hold with incredible reach as it planted on Roy's shield before pulling back hard towards him. Quickly releasing his grasp of the shield, the yoshi spat it towards the side and flicked out his tongue again towards the raptor, dodging swiftly left as he twirled his spear deftly.

"Whut thuh shit, you tryin' to eat me too?!"

"Hm, if I have to. It takes me four hours to digest a toad completely, so I suggest you take your time...unless you want to satisfy me with dessert too."

The tongue snaked out from his throat with a shocking speed that wrapped round his right arm, pulling him fast with absurd muscular strength. Roy could barely gain purchase on the hold floor skidding fast as the tongue recoiled back towards the yoshi until he fired out a flaming blast from his steel fist. Hot wild tongues of flickering fire raced down towards the yoshi as he released the raptor quickly, unwinding his tongue to pull back into his throat before puffing out a thick smoke from his snout.

"I've eaten spicier things than that, plus my people used to eat yours for breakfast, now what do you think you can possibly do against me?"

"Ah can break yo' ass in two, WULD!"

Charging powerfully with a gust of wind, the guard tore across the hold like a flying spear towards the yoshi who simply looked up and lashed his tongue out towards an overhanging beam. Hoisting himself with surprising strength in his oral muscle, the suited fiend dodged Roy who swept straight past him, turning round just in time to receive a violent double-kick to the face that slammed him against the crates.

Releasing his grip from the overhead beam, the purple yoshi lumbered forwards being cautious with his new weight and braced himself for a fist fight as the raptor swiped viciously with his spear. Ducking the horizontal sweep, the fiend rushed forwards with a punch to the stomach, following up with a surprisingly fierce upwards kick sending his leg vertically straight against Roy's face. The fist to his gut barely fazed him, but the hard kick that went up to his chin knocked him back hard with stunning grace. Even with a suit and swollen belly the yoshi managed to strike a kung fu pose, hands swooping above and below his body to create a slope along his arms from hand to hand. The sound of muffled screams from within his stomach caused the yoshi to belch once more.

"Urrrp, nnnmmph...forgive me. Food can be rather disagreeable this time of day."

"Thuh fuck is yo' problem you sick-ass FREAK?! You let that toad go NOW or else ah will break your skull in half lahk a goddamn icicle!"

"The only thing you will be breaking is the belt around my waist once I have you for supper."

Whip-like tongue swishing out in an arc towards Roy as he ducked beneath its hook-like shot, slapping hard against a pile of crates behind him to pull one out and send a mountain of wood down upon him. Quickly strafing to his left, he grabbed one wobbling crate and hurled it at the yoshi who hopped over it like an Olympic track runner, legs fluttering underneath him like wings of a mosquito for a brief instant despite his growing girth. But the moment he landed Roy came forwards with a cracking hard fist made of pure steel, crushing deep against the purple cheek to bruise it hard upon advancing.

Stunned from such a fierce blow, the yoshi struggled slightly to counteract as the raptor clamped his hands shut upon the yoshi's mouth to prevent his tongue from being used as he slammed deep with his knee into the solar plexus. Pummelling thrice underneath the yoshi's stomach, he forced his voracious opponent to vomit up his former meal as the toad came choking out halfway through his throat, before the final third kick shoved him fully out and onto the floor, covered in digestive juice.

"HHHHHHHHHRRRK! KHHHH, KH-KHHH-KHHAAAAGH OH STARS!"

"GET OUTTA HERE!" shouted Roy. "GO HIDE, GET OFF THIS SHIP NOW!"

The moment Sher T. started running towards the exit, Roy felt a sudden desperate strength from the yoshi who fumed seething with hot breath through his nostrils. His hands grasped the raptor's shoulders to shove him back before slamming a ruthless headbutt straight into MacGregor's snout, blinding him briefly enough with sharp pain to not even see the spinning tail sweep. Like a baseball bat it came cracking across his face, knocking him hard to the floor as the yoshi whipped out his tongue in mid-spin to catch Sher T. from the back.

"O-O-OHHHH NOOOOO!"

Pulled violently back into the darkness of the hold, the toad went flying across the steel hull until crashing into a pile of boxes discarded in the farthest corner, crumpling to unconsciousness.

"Stay, DOWN," snarled the yoshi with malevolence, "and as for you little rex, enjoy your new home inside me since you are so eager to exile its previous vacant."

"Not yet."

Roy had secretly been charging up his fist with some form of energy as the yoshi made his taunt before lashing out his long strengthened tongue, which wrapped round Roy's outstretched hand he threw up in defence as suddenly a spark of pure white seized up along the oral length. Frigid piercing cold went rooting deep into the tongue's muscle, solidly freezing it to the point it became one big chunk of ice that went clunking down hard to the floor like dead weight. His head now forcefully bowed forwards made things even more difficult, causing a great deal of strain to his neck.

"HNNKH! NNNGHK!"

"Whut, that all you got?!"

The raptor slowly stood up chuckling whilst desperately trying to think of a good pun involving ice, grabbing his shield off from the floor before he shouted:

"Give yourself up now, before ah start to freeze other parts you wanna keep."

"NNNGHK, HHHH! Hhhhh...ihhiut."

"Put down your hands an' get on thuh floor or ah WILL make you."

"Hnhnhnhn..."

The yoshi simply interlocked his thumbs with the palms of his hands facing inwards as he made a slow flapping motion, like trying to create a bird from his fingers. He then slowly did as the guard demanded and laid down on his knees to put his hands to the floor whilst Roy rushed over to where Sher T. now laid, weakly stirring into consciousness as he stared up towards the ceiling of the cargo hold.

"Hey, s'alrigh', you gonna be okay."

"Th-...th-the...the deal-"

"Never mind that, come on we gotta get you-"

"Th-the deal...could have made it...big."

"You really wanna confess this to me, cuz you know ah ain' gonna let you off-"

"He won't. He won't let me."

"Huh? Who?"

"Him. Behind you."

The sound of wings was the last thing he heard before darkness took his vision. Indomitable strength there came swooping from above, slashing his face with something long and silvery crushing against his black scaled skin. Barrelling into the wall violently, he struggled to get up onto his feet to fight whatever creature had hidden itself before claws strangled him by the throat, choking ruthlessly as he struggled with panic at the feel of his feet leaving the floor. Powerful wings flapped with deafening wind against his ears as he tried to keep hold of his spear and shield, desperately thrusting despite the unknown savage moving its body just well enough to evade his attack. An idea came to him as he heated up his shield with blazing nanostrength, hot enough to become scorching but not hot enough to melt it as he slammed the brazen heated shield against the monster's claws, causing it to shriek violently as he fell towards the darker section of the hold. Deep into a hole of black water he reached, the stench of seawater thick in his nostrils as he plunged into a salty vat of fluid pungent, sloshing around as he struggled to swim upwards.

Before he even realised where he was, the hole above him had been covered up and with it he found himself in pitch blackness. He had little time to wait when a large valve opened up in the side of the ship, a whirring maelstrom that pulled him deep beneath the water by a powerful surge cyclonic against his will as he found himself drowning. Gasping within wretched effluvial waters, Roy was blasted out of the ship's ballast along with the rest of its counterweight sending him deep into the sea surrounding the pier of Toad Town. His eyes blurred intensely from the throbbing pain in his head as he clawed his way to the surface, gasping deep with the breath of fresh air as the sun finally came to greet him. The Tricorvid was all ready to leave as it set sail beyond his reach, tooting its horn of smoke with thick brazen arrogance as MacGregor swam his way back towards shore with a little difficulty in his armour. The raptor scrambled up onto the docks amidst the crowd of workers and visitors curious at the soaking wet beast dripping thickly from head to toe, pure ebony scales glinting pristine in the light. The seaweed covering his head like a politician's toupee looked almost immaculate in its shoddy fringe.

"S'alrigh', nuthin' to see here folks, just official duty, investigations an' all. You all never seen a guard go swimmin', this job takes me all kinda places, that's why ah do it so you don' have to. Bid you all good day!"

He walked himself back to base, kicking a crab away from his foot in its reaching attempt to snap at his tail swishing back and forth leaving a long dripping leak behind him, like a slug shining in springtime.