Years Of Distance
#1 of Poetry
~Years of Distance~
When you left me,
I cut open my chest and extracted my heart.
I began cutting it loose from all the wiring.
Then dizzy from shock I walked to the twisted tree and folded to my knees.
I dug a fresh hole and placed it far from me.
Close to the earth, I close up the grave with my heart barely beating with life underneath.
Stumbling back to the pavement to my house, my breath shallows and falls short in hiccups of life.
Gray falls upon me as I start to sew up the gaping hole in me.
Tying together skin to seem normal.
Ashamed I see the moon joining me once again, he never seems to fail.
He sits on my bed as I scrub the floor clean.
He holds my hair as I vomit.
I clean off my bloody body and put on my nicest clothes.
I shake as I curl my hair and draw makeup on my newly nude face.
I glance at the mirror confirming that no one could see the difference.
Days passed without thought of what I lost.
I felt no pain, I let no one in.
I couldn't grow a new heart no matter how hard I tried.
I couldn't love and soon couldn't see.
I grew blind to wisdom and deaf to truth.
I grew lonesome in my prison.
I needed a heart, I need my heart.
I fearfully traveled back to the twisted tree.
Pulling back dirt and newly grown grass, I find the piece of me I extracted so long before.
Hiding it from everyone, even myself.
I brush off the dirt and I heard my heart beat again.
I brought it to my mouth, I blew in air and soon I could see my heart.
Old and familiar.
Making me well again, I realized it was a perfect match.
Without my heart in me beating neither I nor my heart would survive.
Undoing the stitches, I place my heart back into the cupboard of my chest.
Though my heart still holds scars, with time they will heal,
Fading to a distant whisper of tonight's memories.