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"I really don't know if I am ready for this," I said, stopping in front of the building.

Amanda rolled her eyes. "It's not that scary, I swear. You don't even have to say anything if you don't want. I just want you to sit in on a meeting."

"But what if someone sees me going in?"

Amanda glared. "What are you saying? That being gay is embarrassing?"

"What? No! I mean... I... Uhh..."

"Look, I get it," she said, placing her paws on my shoulders and looking me in the eye. "Coming out is weird and hard. We've all been there. That's why I want you to meet my friends, so you can see that it's better to be out and be yourself! "

I nervously looked away.

"You don't have to start wearing rainbows and marching in the front of the parade." She moved my chin back to face her. "Just one meeting, ok? Just to get a taste. If you don't like it, you never have to come back."

I looked up at the student center building. The doors were flooded with bodies coming in and out. I just didn't want to be seen. I felt the lion grab my paw and pull me in. We walked up the stairs and she led me to a room with a little piece of paper pinned outside saying "LGBT Club Meeting 7-8pm". I stopped and pulled my paw back.

"I'm sorry, I just can't. Not yet." I turned and ran down the hall before Amanda could grab me again. A few turns and I found myself in a back staircase. I walked up them until there weren't any more steps and plopped down. I needed some quiet to calm my mind.

I could see a bit of the quad through a small window. Students were walking around, busy, focusing on just getting to wherever they were going. They all looked the same from so high up. I wondered if I knew any of them.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out.

'Sorry. I didn't mean to force you. We can try again when you're ready, if you want to.'

I put the phone back in my pocket and rested my chin on my arms. The faint sound of people in the building softly bounced off the brick walls. The crowd below began to thin out as people made it to class. I heard the distant chime of the clock tower.

I studied the thick white paint on the walls around me. I imagined this stairwell had seen its fair share of students running away for a break in its time. It was a great hiding spot from the world.

Hiding. That's what I was doing.

What was I hiding from? Who was I hiding from? Hiding had never gotten me anything but headache and pain. Even when I had no reason to hide, when my parents welcomed my relationship with open arms, I rejected it and kept it all hidden, and I lost the person who meant the most to me. So, what was I doing?

The door to the meeting room was closed. I could feel my palms get sweaty as I walked closer. I stood there, gazing at the handle for a long time before I finally convinced myself to grab it. With a racing heart, I opened the door and slid in.

There was a mountain lion with purple hair talking to a group of people in chairs in a circle. She stopped and looked up at me. I froze.

"Welcome!" Everyone was staring at me. I felt my fur fluff up. But, they were all smiling. I locked eyes with Amanda, who waved me over. The mountain lion continued to talk, and I crept over and sat next to my friend.

"I'm glad you changed your mind," she whispered.

"So, with the extra in the budget," the mountain lion continued, turning around to a white board and popping open a marker. "We will be voting on how to spend it before the end of the semester. Do you have any suggestions?"

"We could donate it!" a lizard with several colorful piercings said.

"Ehh, unfortunately, because of school policy and lots of bureaucratic bullshit, it's either we spend it ourselves or it goes bye-bye."

"That's fucking stupid," the lizard said, crossing their arms.

"I agree," the mountain lion said. "But, that doesn't mean we can't raise money with that money and donate that. Any ideas for fundraisers?"

"Maybe a bake sale?" a mouse across the circle said.

"Ok," the mountain lion said, writing it down on the board behind her. "What else?"

"My old school did mini-golf," a buffalo with a large scarf wrapped around his neck said.

"That sounds very labor intensive, but I'll write it down."

"What about bringing in a queer-focused band and selling tickets?" the lizard chimed in again.

"That might be popular, but I'm not sure we have enough extra budget for everything to put together a concert. Think smaller. Cheaper."

"Lets do a drag show!" Amanda said loudly.

The crowd muttered excitedly.

"That!" the mountain lion said, pointing her marker at Amanda. "I like that idea." She wrote it down. "Anything else? No? Then let's vote. Bake sale?" The mouse raised his hand. "Band?" No one raised their hand. "Drag show?" Hands, paws and a tail or two popped up into the air all around us. "Drag show it is!"

"Jude!" Amanda whispered, nudging me. "You gotta do it!"

"I... I don't know," I said, looking around at the excited faces around me.

"Oh, come on. You already basically did it. It'll be the exact same. Only less sex. And hopefully less crying."

"I could only do it because I was drunk off my ass."

"Well... learn to do it sober!"

"Easier said than done." I looked over at the mountain lion, who was looking at me. My fur fluffed up again.

"I see we have a new face in the crowd. We already did introductions, but we can quick go around again for you. I'll start. I'm Jade, I'm a graphic design major, and this is my senior year! Freedom! I prefer she/her pronouns and I identify as a lesbian."

The lizard with the piercings stood up. "I'm Xexis. I'm a theater major, a junior, I prefer they/them pronouns, and I'm asexual but panromantic."

I leaned over to Amanda "What does that mean?"

She shushed me. "I'll tell you later."

Then another stood up and introduced themselves using even more unfamiliar terms. One by one, they all stood up and introducing themselves directly to me. Everyone was really warm and friendly.

Amanda stood up and looked down at me. "We know each other, but I'm Amanda, I'm a Biology major, well, soon to be hopefully once I get accepted to the program. Freshman, she/her, big ol' lezzy."

She sat down, and looked at me. They all were looking at me, so I rose up and shoved my shaking paws in my pockets.

"Hi everyone. I'm Jude. I'm... undecided still, and I'm a freshman. I... uh. What's next?"

"Pronouns and orientation," Amanda whispered.

"What's a pronoun?" I whispered back.

"Are you a he, she or they?"

"He," I said loudly.

"Now, orientation," Amanda whispered, rolling her paw in the air.

"And I'm... well... I'm a bisexual. I guess."

Everyone was still smiling. I had never really said that out loud before. It was both frightening and empowering. I wanted to say it more. I wanted to tell my story. I wanted to talk about Darrick and everything that had happened. I wanted to let it just spill out of me and get some sort of relief for once. All those smiling faces would understand. I opened my mouth.

"And he's going to be in the drag show!" Amanda yelled out.

The group cheered. My face went red under my fur and I plopped down in my seat trying not to pass out.

Amanda chuckled and nudged me again. "Now you have to!"

"Yeah... thanks a lot."

"Oh, you'll be glad you did it by the end."

"Welcome, Jude," the mountain lion said. "We are glad you joined us today. Now, we have a few more things to go over before the end of the meeting, so let's get started."

I sat through the rest of the meeting lost in my head. I was sort of stuck in a weird daze. I can't believe I said it out loud in a group full of strangers. I looked around the room. There were so many different types around me. I didn't feel weird. Well, actually, I did. I felt weird because I wasn't weird. I felt like I was underdressed at a fancy dinner; like I didn't belong, but I desperately wanted to because I knew I should fit in. Maybe Amanda was right. I needed this. I wanted this. I just could never admit it to myself before because I was too afraid.

"So, how did you like it?" I heard the lioness say as she stood up in front of me.

I looked around. Everyone was starting to leave. I hadn't even noticed the meeting was over.

"That's it?" I asked, regretting missing the whole thing.

Amanda laughed. "Yep! And then there is sort of an informal after-meeting if you want to join. We just sort of sit around and talk in the coffee shop downstairs. Want to go?"

My smile was all the answer she needed before pulling me up from my chair and shoving me all the way to the coffee shop.

"Oh Jude!" Jade said, as she sat down with a coffee drink overflowing with whipped cream. "Glad you made it down, come have a seat!"

Amanda jabbed me in the kidney and I took a seat between Jade and her.

"So, Jude," the mountain lion said, leaning over to be more private. "Now, I don't want to assume anything, or make you uncomfortable, but this was your first time being in a completely queer space, wasn't it?"

I nodded. "How'd you know?"

She chuckled and took a sip of her coffee, licking off the whipped cream from her nose. "We all had to start somewhere. Do you think I popped out of the womb a raging dyke? No. I was a shy freshman too, being dragged there by my friend."

I looked over at Amanda, who had a big stupid grin on her face.

"Yeah," I said, returning back to Jade. "Amanda's been a big help with this whole... uh...queer..."

"You can say that. It's an empowering take-back-the-word thing" Jade said, raising her fist in mock-retaliation.

"Ok... queer.... thing."

"Well, you're very lucky to have her, you know." She sipped her coffee again. "Life sucks without a support system."

I guess I had never thought of it that way. Since I had always kept it hidden or out of view, I never really needed support. Sure, I had my parents who made cakes and drove me to ex boyfriends' houses. But, that's what parents are supposed to do. I never had an entire group of strangers who could help me feel normal and loved. I settled down in my chair some more, and turned to Xexis, who was laughing loudly. I could see everyone in the coffee place giving the boisterous lizard the side eye, but our group just laughed right along with them, not paying any mind.

"So," the lizard went on. "I walk out of the bathroom, and the old biddy threatens to call the cops on me! I just threw her a peace sign and skipped away. You should have seen her face, she looked like she was about to blow." Everyone laughed.

"OH, ME NEXT! ME NEXT!" a rabbit sporting a rainbow Mohawk yelled, practically jumping up in his seat.

"Oh, geeze, let me get a sip of coffee in first, you stories are always the best" Jade said before giving a good chug.

"So, it was on a day where I felt like wearing a skirt, right? Well, I..."

I felt my pocket vibrate, and I pulled out my phone.

It was a text from my roommate; 'Hey, where are you. Food?'

I missed the punchline as everyone started laughing again. Jade must have thought it was safe because she was trying to clear her nose of whipped cream next to me. I started laughing too.

Amanda nudged me. "Put down the phone! You're missing all the fun!"

My thumb quickly typed out. 'Sorry, can't. Hanging out with some new friends rn,' and slid the phone back in my pocket.

"Hey, Jude," Jade said. "Do you have any funny stories?"

I looked up. A sly smirk spread over my muzzle. "Well... Ok." I leaned forward, and everyone leaned in. "So, once, in high school gym class..."