FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Another weekend at the academy, another couple of days to do nothing but sit inside of a room and read books. A plum furred feline laid upon a bed in a dim room. A flowery bulb illuminated the space above where she laid on her stomach with her face stuck in a book. Mara's studies always took precedence no matter what. She was always sitting in her room doing what she needed to do to learn more about magic, but there were a few times where she wondered how the other students spent their time. Mara had always heard other students whisper of parties and other little gatherings that they went to during the weekend in town. Sometimes students simply wandered the halls chatting and wasting their time, at least, that is what she thought they did. Mara wasn't one for socializing too much. She had done enough socializing with her seven or so brothers and sisters back at home and was glad to have her space. Still, she'd like to speak with more like-minded folk. That sounded difficult, especially if she wanted to talk to someone like-minded. She was never popular among her peers and no one had ever made the effort to walk up to her and talk, so why should she make the effort to talk to them?

"Maybe you should go out and make the effort you shut-in."

Mara grimaced. She had been lost in thought, so she didn't think twice about the charm she wore on her wrist. Within that very charm, her precious familiar stayed listening to her thoughts. With a sigh, she supposed she should answer him before he continued chiding, "Well, I could go out and make friends, if I knew how to do that or if it was that important"

"But you do, you already have one friend. Kip was his name?"

Mara rolled her eyes, "Yes, Kip is his name and we're only...On studying terms."

"What about the smooching? Do any of that?"

Mara felt her cheeks fluster, "A little, but we're still not...Not really friends or anything I guess? We don't talk too often and when we do it is only about studying...Maybe that is my fault, though. I always push to learn and I never seem to have anything else to say or ask him. I don't even really know anything about him per say."

Surprisingly, the fact that she only ever talked about studying with Kip when they weren't having any sort of bedside fun made her feel...Bad? She felt a strange pang in her heart, a weight on her shoulders that was unfamiliar, she hated it.

"Oh? So the cold heart suddenly melts and feels some guilt for treating another like a tool? Darling, just go and talk to him, or anyone about anything else other than magic and books and stuff. Have a life and actually socialize. Why...Even the last magi I served wasn't this much of a shut-in."

Mara huffed and shut the book she was reading, tail flicking from side to side as she spoke in an irritated tone, "And what do friends earn me? Headaches! Headaches from the constant nonsense and babbling of so-called conversation. I haven't met a single like-minded student at this academy."

"Because you haven't tried."

"Well, I can't really argue that...But what am I supposed to do? Just go up to someone and say hi?"

Mephils answered with a dry, "Yes, it doesn't even have to be a like-minded individual. Friends can have differences dear."

Mara rolled her eyes, "I can't just do that. I don't even know what to say afterward. 'Hello, my name is Mara, I'm stuck in my room constantly and read terrible romance novels in my spare time. Pleased to meet you.' Is that it?"

Mephils chuckled within her mind, "Well, I mean if you want to do it like that then sure. I'm certain someone would bite for a cute girl like yourself."

Mara huffed, "Cute? I'm a shut-in and not the most in shape of all females at this school."

"Yes, but short and soft which many enjoy. Listen, ignoring that, the point is, just go out and actually try to say hello to someone, or at the very least talk to Kip about it. You know he cares about you."

Mara thought about that for a moment and sighed, eyes closing, "So...Talk to Kip about not having friends? How will that seem? Desperate...He'd probably think of me as weird."

"Too late for that...And so what if you are weird?"

Mara sighed, "And now I realize how odd it is to be getting life advice from a familiar."

A chuckle echoed in her mind, "I am a spirit of knowledge after all, and life advice falls underneath knowledge."

Mara rested her chin in paw while she mused over that, "Hm, and so, it is your advice drawn from centuries and more of knowledge that you recommend I go talk to Kip about these feelings of mine? What would be the benefit?"

"Well first, you would stop feeling like a shut-in. Second, you would actually talk and make a friend instead of keeping him at a distance like a fool and perhaps even jump your relationship into something more should you wish it and third, maybe he could introduce you to some of his friends."

Mara blinked. She hadn't thought Kip as a socialite, but she had seen him talking to others at some point even though he was a very quiet sort. She, she could indeed ask him for help on this subject even it meant extreme embarrassment, or she'd just make an extreme fool out of herself. Choices, choices, there were so many choices, but not really. There were only two options, go to Kip and talk her heart out, which already summoned feelings of inadequacy and butterflies which she wasn't prepared for. Alternatively she could just sit in her room and deal with the negative emotions by drowning herself in studies, which sounded like the better option.

"And I'll nag you to the underworld and back."

Mara huffed, "I've dealt with your noise before."

"Contract is off if you don't talk to him."

Mara chirped, "Excuse me!?"

"Ahah, didn't think I could do that hm? But you see, if I as a familiar feel you are abusing my power or not using me properly, I can simply make an attempt to break free. How much of a hassle would that be for me, a spirit containing vast knowledge of the magic arts, to break free from a simple student's grasp?"

Mara's tail flicked violently now, "You...You're blackmailing me!"

"Yes I am."

Mara groaned and slid off of her bed, "Fine! I'll go have a...Conversation with Kip, but I promise nothing! In fact, if he hates me afterward then you are completely at fault here."

"I promise, he won't hate you for just speaking your mind. Now, go. It might be night time, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind a visit."

Slipping the cursed bracelet off of her wrist and setting it on her bed, she stretched and looked to the door of her room before looking at the bracelet, "Right...You're not allowed to come with me this time."

Even at this distance, she could hear her familiar speaking, though faded, "And what if you mess up royally? You know I could give you advice on what to say."

Mara had thought of that, and certainly, he could provide all the answers, but that didn't feel right, "Not organic that way. Besides, I don't want to be something I'm not."

"I'm so proud of you."

With her ears folded back she grumbled and moved to step out of her room, "Never thought I'd have a father figure familiar. Dad already sends enough letters asking me about friends."

Kip's room wasn't too far from her own, but she'd be damned if she didn't take her sweet time in walking there. In her head, she rehearsed what she should say, but she always came up blank. It was moments like these that she cursed her own ineptitude when it came to talking, but there she stood before the door of her so-called friend with paw raised to knock at his door. Well, there was nothing to stop her from making her night even more miserable, and so, she knocked at the door lightly without knowing what to say and wishing that perhaps she would have taken that damned familiar with her.

The door opened soon enough, sharp green eyes staring down at Mara with some amount of curiosity, black fur covered by heavy apprentice's robes, "Mara?" Kip asked with a tilt of his head.

Mara cleared her throat, "May I come in?"

"Sure...Didn't think you'd visit this late at night, though."

He stepped aside and let her come into his room. Mara had to remember to stop herself from shaking like a pathetic leaf. She was just here to talk, to talk, that wasn't anything scary; even potentially ruining a lasting relationship with someone wasn't scary, or shouldn't have been frightening at the very least, but it was. She was familiar enough with his room and sat down on the bed while looking over at the potted plants at the corner of his room for something to focus on rather than what she needed or what she could say.

For a moment Kip was quiet as he shut the door. He didn't make a single move either, didn't move to sit next to her, didn't open his muzzle to ask her what was going on, he only stared at her, his head ever tilted in eternal curiosity. When Mara finally summed up the courage she looked to him and huffed with a fluster, "I need...Uh, advice. I guess."

"Book related?"

Mara shook her head and her cheeks felt hotter than before as she continued on, "No. Uh, life advice."

"Ah...Pregnancy?"

Mara squeaked, "Excuse me?!"

Kip chuckled as he sat down next to her, the bed creaking underneath his weight and Mara bouncing just a bit as he answered, "A joke. You're tense, what's up?"

Mara sighed and rubbed at her temples, "So I am...This is rather embarrassing Kip. I don't like to talk to people too much, but sometimes, sometimes I think that maybe I'm some sort of freak to the other students and sometimes I actually crave the attention and conversation of others if only for just a little bit, but I don't know how to go about that. I barely know how to go about that with you. I mean, you're nice, you're sweet, but I don't know how to talk to you so instead here I am rambling instead of speaking with any semblance of--"

Mara paused as Kip moved a great white frosted paw to give her head a pat, "Hm. Stressed out about meeting people?"

Mara took a breath, "Well...Yes and more than that, I don't know how to communicate without studies without magic. Look...I only ever ask you about academic questions, I never think to ask you about yourself or about how you are doing and I'm...I feel like a bad friend? If I am even a friend."

Kip took a moment before giving her head a soft squeeze, "Thanks."

"Thanks? For what?" Mara asked raising her brow and looking up past his paw.

"You worry about that. Should be enough to actually show you care. At least to me, it is. You're nicer than you give yourself credit for and worrying about way too much. Even if you say you don't, you worry about what people think of you too."

Mara huffed, "Worry about what other people think of me? Of course, I do...I can't stand thinking that people are making little rumors about me. I've seen the way some people stare and poke fun at the tiny cat with her nose in books and nothing else."

"You don't know that."

"But I do! I've heard nasty things. Nasty little lies about me and nasty little insults that make no sense to me."

Kip grunted, "Not everyone. Sure, there are mean folk, but there are some decent students here. Lots of students are scared of me because of my size, but there are plenty that are friendly enough. Have you tried talking to anyone besides me?"

Mara crossed her arms, looking down at her feet as she kicked back and forth and answered quietly, "No."

Kip tugged her gently into a soft hug with one arm, "You know what to do."

She sighed, placing her cheek against her friend, "Hide in my room and forget my social worries in more book work?"

"No, you'll probably have a meltdown like that at some point."

Mara grumbled, "Now you sound like my mentor."

Kip shrugged, "Maybe he's actually pushing you in the right direction and you should listen to him."

"Or maybe I should just give in to the fact that I'm not too great at making friends."

Kip sighed, "You've made a friend with me Mara. You've done it once."

Mara thought about that for a moment. She had expected Kip to be a bit more distant, but then again, maybe that was just the way she had treated him. She didn't deserve this kindness form him, or at the very least, she didn't think she deserved it. With a sigh, she flopped back onto the bed staring up at the ceiling and spoke quietly, "Before I get to know anyone else Kip, maybe you'd grace me by telling me about yourself."

Kip raised a brow, "Hm? What do you mean?"

Mara grumbled, "I don't know...Your home life, your goals, aspirations, something like that I think? Am I doing this right?"

"Not exactly, but its the thought that counts."

Mara felt her cheeks fluster at the sound of Kip's laughter, "I'm serious here!"

Kip continued to chuckle for a bit before he laid back next to her. For a moment they just laid there in silence, both staring at the ceiling, neither one of them talking. For some reason, it felt oddly comforting to have said all that, although it certainly felt exhausting. She felt as if she could go to sleep right here and now, even if that would look strange if other students saw when she stepped out of his room in the morning. It wasn't as if it hadn't happened before.

At some point, Kip began talking. Mara was glad that he was taking control of the conversation. She wasn't very good at it and the more she laid there, the more she felt the exhaustion from talking so much, more so than most magics she had practiced which seemed pretty odd. Mara laid there, listening to Kip's words closely. She listened to what he had to say about what he wanted to do with his life here at the academy and beyond, about his home life back at a farm which seemed odd enough. She made no comment except a small smile here or there when he said something that tickled her. It felt nice, far too nice, but then something happened that threw her off for a bit, he asked, "And yourself?"

Mara opened an eye, "Hm?"

"What about you? I know you want to learn magic badly, but why? And what about your family life?"

Mara took a breath. Well, she supposed it was her turn to talk, even if she felt a bit tired from her previous portion of the conversation, "I want to become a powerful magi, more than that, I want to dip into the deepest portions of magical research and provide my own discoveries to the archives of the Court. How magic actually works, where it comes from, I'm interested in all of that I suppose and as for family life well...I have seven brothers and sisters together, three brothers, four sisters and I'm the runt."

Kip turned his head to her, "Huh? Really?"

"Yup, you don't believe me?"

Kip chuckled, "I just think you'd be a little bit more used to socializing if that was the case."

Mara groaned, "Too much socializing indeed! We shared everything, talked about everything, and there wasn't a moments peace! I am glad to be out of there and I'll be glad to make it on my own. I love my family, I really do, but their mindset is just too far removed from mine."

"Will you visit them when you've moved out on your own?"

Mara turned on her side, eyes shut, "Maybe...I did say I still loved my family even if they are infuriating. Just...Would rather not stay around them too long."

Again the silence hit. To her, it was comforting. There was comfort in the lack of noise between two people, and a comfort of just her friend by her side, which seemed odd enough. Kip again broke the silence, "Guessing you're going to be sleeping here?"

Mara opened her eyes and sat up with a start, "Oh, uh sorry. I've already taken up your time, no reason I should abuse that hospitality."

Kip shrugged, "Go ahead. I don't mind."

Mara scratched at the back of her head, "Really?"

Kip nodded, "Sure. We can work on talking to people another time. You did a good job tonight with me."

Mara smiled just a bit, "I suppose I did." She then flopped back onto the bed with her eyes closed before continuing in a mumble, "Even if it is exhausting."

Rather than make a comment, Kip laid with her, his arms around her, both of their eyes shut as they laid together in bed as friends. She felt a strange warmth she hadn't felt while being around Kip before. More than just the comfort, she felt oddly happy. She had thought that talking to Kip would have been an exercise in self-loathing, and yet, here she was happy and nearly purring against him and ready to sleep. Friends hm? Perhaps friendship wasn't such a bad thing and perhaps she should talk to more people. One step at a time, though, one step at a time. For now, it was time to sleep.