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Author's Note: Thanks to all my friends, watchers, and viewers. You guys are great! This chapter is from multiple POVs.

Loving and Lusting for My Brother

Chapter 4

Malakai's POV

Is life crazy or what? The most impossible of things happened to me, my brother had sex with me! Words fail to describe the sheer joy I got from being pounded by Rodya. Thing is, I wished he wouldn't feel so guilty about it. I really wanted to do it again with him, but he was not having it.

"No Malakai. What we did was wrong and should never be done again," Rodya said the day after we had sex.

"It was great. Don't be so ashamed about it. We're two consenting adults and what we do is our business, not anyone else's," I said.

Rodya just ignored me and went upstairs to his room. He and I didn't talk to each other for the rest of the day. I shouldn't be surprised by this behavior. He's always been stubborn and moody ever since we were kits and he's always had, how should I put this, guilt issues. Anytime he makes a mistake or does something wrong, even the tiniest of things, can set him off and ruin his mood. I lost count how many times I had to calm him down over things like only getting a "B" on a test when he wanted an "A." But each time I was there for him because I loved him. First as a brother, but more recently as something more. So I shouldn't be so hurt when he gets so anguished over us having sex, and yet I am. Nothing I say seems to change his mind or get him to calm down and that frustrates me. I spent the rest of the weekend in my basement on my old computers. I flipped through a box of floppy disks when I located one labeled "X". It was the only disk in my collection that I didn't want Rodya to see. It contained the only way I could express my incestuous desires without actually having sex with Rodya: erotic fiction and art. This disk was probably the smuttiest disk in the whole country. It contained dozens of badly drawn art featuring my brother and myself doing anything and everything to each other. There were documents too where I unleashed my deepest sexual fantasies. I probably sound ridiculous, but this was my way of fulfilling my desires. But now I've experienced the real thing, was this disk even worth keeping? Should I destroy it? After all, what's the point in reading these old fantasy stories again if you finally got what you wanted from your brother only to learn he'll never pleasure you again. I sighed and decided to drown my sorrows in a game so I decided to boot up my Pentium II PC running Windows 95 and play some pinball for awhile.

Going back to work on Monday wasn't fun. My brother was still on my mind and the thought of never having sex with him again was depressing. I work as an IT guy at a local college. It's not a glamorous job, but it pays well. Work gave me somewhat of a distraction thanks to two unreliable projectors I had to fix. After that bit of frustration, I came home to find Rodya sitting in the living room waiting for me. I was hoping he had changed his mind about having sex, but today was not my day.

"Malakai, I have great news! Dr. Irina Schneebrot is coming to the bookstore on Friday! She's an expert on incest, I can talk to her and ask her for help," Rodya said with an enthusiasm that was kind of off putting.

"Rodya, we don't need help we're just fine," I said.

"No we are not! We are sick foxes and need to be cured so we can become normal!" Rodya snapped.

"We're fine, I keep telling you that!" I said, getting agitated.

"This is not normal! You need to find yourself a real boyfriend, not settling for your own brother," Rodya said.

"I'm not settling! I want to be with you romantically as well as sexually," I said.

"You can find someone else. You're an attractive fox, someone will want you I know," Rodya said.

"Yeah right. Aside from you, the only people I attract are assholes. I don't want to be hurt again," I said, images of my ex's running through my head.

"There are nice guys out there," Rodya said, trying to reassure me.

"You're the only one I trust in this world. I know that you love me and care about me. I know you wouldn't beat me like Harold did," I said. Just saying his name was enough to make my stomach turn. Rodya flinched as I spoke that name.

"He's not going to get you, Malakai I'll always be here to protect you. Still we shouldn't be having sex and we shouldn't be lovers", Rodya said.

Tears started welling up in my eyes as I said, "But I love you so much, Rodya. I only want to be with you." I gave him a tight hug as I cried.

"It's going to be okay Malakai. Maybe Dr. Schneebrot can help you overcome your trust issues too," Rodya said. At that point, I was fed up. Why must he go on about this doctor?

"All I need is you, I don't need a shrink to tell me how to live my life!" I said, storming out of the living room and retreating to my basement, locking the door behind me. Rodya kept shouting at me to come back, but I refused to listen.

We didn't talk again for the rest of the week.

Rodya's POV

So my plan to convince my brother to be cured didn't go over so well. I was baffled as to how he could not see how wrong incest is. I decided that I would at least get myself cured. Maybe if Malakai saw the results he would finally agree to a cure. Friday couldn't come soon enough, as I was nervous as hell about how to approach the subject to her. I couldn't do so during the event because it was for customers only, but if I could get a private word in afterwards maybe I could get the help my brother and I sorely needed. It was only a two-hour event, but it felt like twenty hours as I thought over and over again how to ask her for help. I was simply there to make sure everything went smoothly, no rowdy customers or anything like that. Dr. Schneebrot looked just as she did in the picture I saw of her and her voice was the same cold, serious tone I had heard in my dream. I was a little scared of her to be honest; I felt a shiver up my spine every time she spoke. When the event ended and she started walking towards the back door, I summoned up all of my courage and walked up to her.

"Hi...I...um...just wanted to say that I love your work," I said, thinking it was the best way to start off this rather embarrassing conversation.

"I see, which of my books have you read?" she said.

"Well, I just discovered your work, so I've only read one, but I really found your book on incest to be quite interesting", I said.

"Oh that old thing. I would love to write a second volume, but I am having trouble finding subjects for my research. You wouldn't happen to know anyone would you?" she asked.

"Well...actually I do. You see I need your help. I want you to cure me," I said, shaking with nervousness as I spoke.

"Hmmm...I see. Come see me on Monday at 2 PM sharp", she said, handing me a business card with her name and address.

"Thank you very much", I said, hope filled me as I held the card in my paw.

"You're welcome," she said and for the first time that day she smiled, a smile that was kind of...creepy. I didn't care at the time, though, since I was bursting with euphoria. Thankfully, my shift was over because I was so happy that I don't think I could have concentrated on work. When I got home I danced around and shouted, "I'm gonna be normal!" As I did Malakai came home from work and looked at me like I was nuts.

"Rodya?" he asked.

"Oh Malakai, great news! I have an appointment with Dr. Schneebrot on Monday! I'm gonna be cured!" I shouted with glee.

Malakai merely shook his head and went downstairs. I disregarded his reaction and happily hummed a tune as I made myself dinner. I just wished Malakai had been happy for me. The weekend felt like it went on forever because Malakai and I didn't talk at all. I felt bad, but I figured that one day he would see the light, so I tried to ignore my feelings of guilt for making him upset.

Malakai's POV

This weekend sucked! Rodya was on a weird cloud nine about Dr. Schneebrot and I was so fucking tired of it that I decided to stay out of the house as long as possible. I tried to distract myself with the local arcade, but it didn't work for long so I decided to take refuge at the local library. I browsed the "New Fiction" section for a while, but came up empty-pawed. I was quite curious as to who this "Dr. Schneebrot" was, so I did some research using one of the library's iMacs. What I found was nothing special at first, she graduated from the University of Fox Hollow in 1990 with a P.H.D. in Psychology with a concentration in sexuality and worked as a therapist for the university's students until about 2007 when she became a published author. What was weird though was that I could not find any contact info. How did Rodya have an appointment with her if I can't find the location of her office or her phone number? Are they going to meet up at her house or something? Confused and concerned, I decided to return to the house only to find that Rodya was not home. I decided to call his best friend and fuckbuddy Denver Hollister to see if Rodya was with him.

"Hello," Denver said.

"Hey Denver, I'm Rodya's brother, Malakai. Is my brother with you? He's not home and I wanted to talk to him about something urgently," I said.

"Nope, he just left about a minute ago," Denver said.

I was about to hang up until I remembered something; Denver used to talk to a therapist when he was at the U of FH around 2005 or so. Maybe he would remember Dr. Schneebrot?

"Oh alright, thanks. Can I ask you something else?" I said.

"Sure, go ahead," he replied.

"Do you remember a Dr. Schneebrot from the university?" I asked.

"Oh I remember her, she was my first therapist. She really creeped me out," Denver said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Her voice was so cold and she never smiled. I always felt so uncomfortable around her. The campus during my sophomore year was bad enough already. The murders, the missing people, the fires...all I wanted was help for my depression and I barely got any help from her at all. Cold hearted, fucking bitch. She didn't give a shit about any of her patients. She was probably just in it for the money. I don't know why she quit, but I'm glad she did," Denver said, his voice tense.

I didn't want to make him upset, so I dropped the subject and thanked him again for his help and hung up. One thing was for sure, I trusted this doctor even less than I did before.