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Fly Again My Bird (Part 1: The Broken Bird)

Foreword:

This story is about a fox who finds a skunk on the side of a raining country road and nurtures her back to health as he tries to find out what happened. This story was inspired greatly by Lars Von Trier's film Nymphomaniac as well as feelings I have myself of the fears of abandonment and being left alone. This story is very graphic and is not for the weak hearted or weak minded. It deals with rape, abuse, suicide, and other such topics. I was also inspired by the deep lyrics and sound of the band Insomnium, more specifically the lyrics from their One For Sorrow album which I have been listening to as I deal with a deep depression I'm struggling with. This is a story about recovery. If this story impacts you in anyway, then please share it with those who you feel may be interested or might benefit reading this.

"At the midmost night, each midmost night, upon Death's palm, the bird will rest a while. And gently Death will speak, softly Death will hum and whisper: Fly again my bird, fly again over the world."

• Song of the Blackest Bird

She lied there, bared, bloodied, bruised, and broken. The mud soaking into her fur as she shivered in the cold winter rain. She wondered if she should just lie there forever. Just sleep and maybe salvation would find her in her painful solitude. Her body throbbed in pain. Her tears burned her blackened eye and the cuts on her face. She managed to roll onto her back and stare up at the ashen, cold, crying sky. Above, a black bird flew and circled the sky. She grunted softly as her ribs ached as she began to quietly sob. Weakly, she reached her arm up to the sky, as if she was reaching for the hand of the bird. A wave of emotion flooded her pain as she looked at the black bird soaring overhead in a quiet cold dance. She wanted to fly with it, soar into the grey skies and away from the pain.

On the right side of her face she saw a light approach, she did not keep her eyes off the bird however. With her arm still outstretched the light got brighter and brighter until it stopped. She heard a slam and a pair of feet running over to her. She dropped her arm onto her chest and groaned loudly. She coughed as she tried to take a deep breath. She then saw the bird's dance break as it headed away from her, she followed it away with her eyes. She reached her arm out as the bird flew into the horizon and with a light and painful groan sputtered "W-wait...".

A silhouette of what appeared to be a fox walked towards her quickly. Before she knew it, the fox was practically on top of her, talking frantically asking if she was okay. She simply reached her hand up to him and looked at his darkened and shaded face from the bright truck lights behind him. She then felt a pair of arms sink into the mud underneath her and began lifting her up almost angelically. There was pain in her lower back but she ignored it as the stranger carried her to his truck quickly but carefully. He laid the muddy, beaten and half naked skunk gently in the passenger seat of his old pickup truck and began digging in his assortment of stuff in the back seat and pulling out a big gray blanket which he carefully wrapped her in.

The skunk took a deep breath through her swollen nose and inhaled the warm air of the pickup truck. She lulled in the warmth and sighed. The fox then ran back to where he found the skunk and began picking up the muddied and ripped articles of clothing along with a dark purple backpack that was spilled open. He picked up the assortment of papers and folders and placed them back in the bag. He ran back into his truck threw them into the back seat and closed the door before running to the driver's seat and catching his breath and starting to drive.

"H-hey...miss! Stay with me! What happened"

She sighed and tried to speak but the warmth of the car was just too comforting. The fox looked ahead at the road with slight panic in his chest. The nearest hospital was miles away. He must act quick or else he might lose her. He then stepped on the gas and drove down the lonely highway at a rather high speed. The skunk looked out the car window, watching the flat drab landscapes pass by here quickly. The babbling of the worried fox seemed to be drowned out in her trance, and before she knew it she was asleep. The sound of the speeding tuck and muffled sound of the fox began to fade with her slumber.

The next thing she knew, she awoke to the feeling of arms wrapping the blanket around her snugly and carrying her out of the passenger's seat. Despite just being awoken, she felt wide awake and aware. She then mumbled audibly.

"I-Is this a hospital?"

The fox carried her to his front door and responded to her.

"No miss! Just hang on okay!" the fox said quickly.

"Good..." she responded, in a painful groan.

He opened his front door and carried the wrapped up young girl in his arms and set her down on his couch before closing the door and taking a deep breath trying to catch it. He put his hands over his face and collected himself before quickly returning to the girl. The house was warm and quiet, and the girl looked at the fox at the door and followed him with her eyes as he returned by her side.

"Miss! You need to get warm! You're freezing. I'm going to take you to my bathroom alright?" He said shaking. The girl simply nodded and reached her arms out to him and locked them around his neck. He carried her carefully to his bathtub and laid her down in the ceramic tub. He carefully took the wrapped grey blanket from around her body and tossed it in the corner. He moved fast and carefully. He plugged the bathtub and turned on the water and set it on hot. As the nozzle filled the tub he stopped and looked at the skunk. Her eyes were closed but he saw her shudder as the warm water spilled onto her feet.

He scanned the skunks body, looking at the extent of her injuries. His heart sank when he looked at her lower body. Her underwear seemed to be pulled aside and a large red stain was clearly visible on the crotch of her dirty white underwear. It wasn't until he saw the thick white substance leaking from her genitals and into the hot water that he fell to his knees as his chest began to ache with sorrow. However, he soon felt a hand graze his face and he looked up at the skunk. Despite her body throbbing in pain she managed to let out a faint comforting smile at the fox.

"Don't..." she gulped "Don't cry.... whatever you do, don't cry."

The fox nodded and gulped down his approaching tears building in his throat and took a deep breath and nodded at the skunk. The water began to turn murky as it filled to her waist.

"W-what is your name?" she asked the fox on his knees beside her.

"I-I-I'm John." He said choking. "John..."

"John.... I'm Alex." She said quietly. He simply nodded back trying not to cry.

"Alex, can you tell me what happened?" He said shaking. She looked away and shook her head and stared at the cream-colored bathroom wall that was shrouded in a grey overtone from a widow above the toilet nearby. He did not turn on the bright bathroom light for her sake.

"I'll explain, but not now. I can't, I need to rest."

The fox nodded and weakly stood up. The hot water was now up to her chest, and the dirt in her white bra floated to the surface.

"I'll be right back. Just enjoy the water." He said calmly now.

"W-where are you going?" She asked as he reached over and turned off the water.

"I'm going to get a towel and prepare a bed. Just try and relax Alex. I'm won't leave you."

She nodded back in response and watched John slowly walk away and leave the bathroom, almost reluctantly. She rested her head back and stared at the white ceiling listing to the sound of distant thunder and wind from the storm that shrouded the area, trying to ignore the throbbing pain. Meanwhile the shaken fox went to the tuck sheets into his couch, making it into an improvised bed. He went to his hall closet and took out the biggest towel he had and placed it on a nearby arm chair. He then went to his room got a plain white t-shirt and a pair of boxers and laid it on the bed. After organizing a few more things for her sat on the armchair near the empty and made up couch and sighed. Taking a deep breath, he let the skunk relax for a bit.

After about 10 minutes he walked back into the bathroom, and looked at the skunk who was still wide awake but seemed a lot more relaxed.

"H-hey, I umm... made up a bed for you and have some clean clothes. Do you think you can stand?" He asked with a concerned tone. She blinked a few times and nodded.

"I-I think so." She responded quietly.

The fox approached her and reached into the murky water and unplugged the drain.

"Alright Alex, lets rinse you off okay?" He said looking into her eyes, the left one of which being swollen.

She closed her eyes and nodded in response. As the water drained he took her arm and helped her up. Her legs shook and dirty water fell from her fur and into the draining tub. Though little damage was done to her legs, the pain between her thighs as well as the pain on her body made it hurt to stand. She grunted and whimpered and by the time the fox got her all the way up, the tub had drained. He tried his best to hold back the tears, however one slipped by which he quickly wiped away. Seeing this young woman in this condition was hard for him to grasp.

"Alex, we need to take these off...." He said choking up.

"I-I understand. It just hurts so much...." She said stuttering, also fighting the urge to fight back her tears of pain as well as tears of thankfulness.

"I know Alex, just try and be strong for me okay?" He gently unclipped her bra. He guided the strap off her right arm first, as that was the arm that was free. She whimpered slightly as it fell off her aching back. The bra then swung freely away as it dangled on her left arm, in which he carefully took off and dropped to the floor.

"Alright Alex, you're doing great, now the next one okay.?" He said in a shaky comforting voice.

She nodded as she knew this would hurt the most and prepared herself. He carefully began pulling down her lower underwear as she helped as well. As the soggy underpants fell she whimpered loudly and her legs shook in pain. She weakly lifted her right leg out of her underwear followed by the other. Her genitals ached and bled. It was a hard sight for John to take in. He knew what happened. He knew she was raped, and by the extent of the damages, most likely by more than one person. Likely a group of people. However he tried not to think about that as his main concern was helping her right now. He dropped the underwear on top of the bra and that's when he noticed the blood that leaked from under her tail as well as her genitals. He then dug his face into his free arm tightly and whimpered, as if somehow trying to take back what he saw.

He quickly recollected himself, and turned the tub back on and pulled the shower pin. Water began to shoot out of the shower hose, in which he detached and set the water pressure on low. He moved the gentle running water over her body and rinsed off the rest of the grime. The white fur on her belly and stripes on her back began to shine bright again however it was still corrupted by un-washable bruises.

"A-Alex. This is going to be hard, but you're going to have to let me wash between your legs, okay?" he said choking up. She shivered but nodded silently.

John then took her arm and locked it around his neck for support and gently sat on the edge of the tub. He gently placed her on his leg and with his left hand, held her left arm for comfort.

"Alex, just hold onto me tight okay? This will hurt, but just stay strong okay." He said in a comforting and reassuring voice. She breathed heavily and nodded and held him tight.

With his right leg, in which she rested on, he opened her legs slightly. He felt her shake and at that moment he almost backed down from it, but he knew he had to. He turned the shower hose on medium and began to first wash her inner thighs. Gently he moved his way up. She whimpered louder and louder as her legs shook more and more as the stream of water moved closer to her genitals. She closed her eyes tightly and soon felt the water spray inside of her. She began to whimper in pain loudly. She held his neck tightly and he held her tightly as well.

"Alex, Alex, Alex, it's okay honey, just hold on okay! Just hold on a bit longer!"

Tears fell down his cheeks as he watched all the evil and abuse wash down the drain. Once everything was cleaned out, he dropped the showerhead and hugged the wet shivering young girl tightly as she sobbed into his shoulders.

"Alex, just one more okay! You can do this! You've made it this far sweetheart, just hold onto me a bit more." He cried. He couldn't resist crying with her. It made him feel worthless as she told him not to cry but he just couldn't bring himself to resist. He realized however, it was up to him right now, and she needed him. He felt her nod in response and placed the shower head underneath her tail. He felt her nails dig in his back as a high-pitched, almost noiseless cry came from her clenched mouth as tears flooded down her cheeks.

Again, he watched the abuse wash away into the drain, though distorted by his tears. He felt her begin to urinate on his leg. He simply stroked the back of her head gently as she cried in pain. She was too weak to hold it any longer, and he understood. He stood up slowly while still holding her tightly and placed the nozzle a bit lower to wash away the urine as it now dripped into the tub. She sobbed loudly as the pain was near over. He felt proud of her but also felt worse for her than he had ever felt for anyone before. After a short time, she stopped and a few more whisks of the showerhead on her lower area to clean the last of the grime and abuse away, he shut off the water and quickly draped a big white towel over her. He held her shaking body tight and cradled her over the bathtub and sang to her softly as she wept and shivered.

"Morning star, Angel of the Dawn, light your torch, your radiant crown. Fill the silence with trembling thunder, light our path with glimmering eyes..."

End of Part 1