Good Enough Chapter 6
#7 of Good Enough
Chapter 6--Opening Up
Damien noticed several changes when he returned to school.
Firstly, everybody seemed to know what had happened. Even as he walked through the campus, he noticed that it had become a topic of discussion that a student had been shot (he was glad that his name had somehow escaped notice)--but that wasn't it. Another had been mugged and yet another had been carjacked, all in one night. The details were sketchy at best and when it came to the student who had been shot, he noticed that the stories had become exaggerated. He was quite certain that he had not faced a gang, but it had simply been one assailant.
Yet it all led to the second noticeable change: campus security had been tightened considerably and no one was ever too far away to call for help. Security patrols around campus were far more conspicuous and students and teachers alike seemed far more on-edge than before.
But the biggest change he noticed was that Thomas had taken his own personal safety to heart, though he wasn't sure if this was just a side-effect of his father's request. It became rare for him to be alone between or after classes. He commonly found himself in the company of either Thomas or Ozzy, leaving very little time for him to be alone with Anna, something which she had complained about more than once. Even with football practice starting and both of them being busy, he found himself with Torrie, who he knew was more than likely keeping tabs on him.
Even still, he continued to practice with his new band, Loxosceles. James and Warren had been eager to resume rehearsals and the ideas they shared amongst each other lit a fire in Damien's heart as they practiced, Anna joining them as a singer. Despite the near-constant presence of Thomas or Ozzy or Torrie, Damien spent as much time as he could with them, writing eagerly, happy to showcase what he had written or to hear what the others had developed. It had brought back nostalgic memories of Malachite that he had always treasured.
And he quickly found that his former bandmates were just as happy as he was. Contact with them was limited to short phone calls or texts, but they spoke quite often. They had even agreed to do reunite during their breaks, to book whatever performances that they could back home, if only for a week or even mere hours.
By the third week, the fear that hung over the campus seemed to have abated considerably. Security had reduced its patrols and the hot topics had drifted away from the violence of the first week. But, much to Damien's annoyance, Thomas's persistence had yet to fade and he quickly learned he wasn't going to be able to shake him off as easily as he had hoped. Having a bodyguard (as Ozzy referred to him) sounded interesting but Damien quickly realized that it was more of a nuisance than anything.
Like now...
He was sitting in the library, working on an essay for Professor Welles with Thomas seated beside him, music blasting in those pink headphones he wore. Damien had been focused closely on his essay, but the noise of Thomas's music was a constant distraction and, halfway through the fourth paragraph, he let out an irritable huff. Thomas had let out a small snore, attracting plenty of unwanted attention. He snatched Thomas's phone from the tabletop, pausing the music. Thomas, who woke almost immediately, sat upright, looking at Damien with surprise.
"Need me to proofread?" he asked groggily.
"No, I want you to go back to the room if you're going to fall asleep," Damien snarled.
"No can do, little one," Thomas said, stretching conspicuously as he suppressed a lazy yawn. "I've got my orders."
"From who?"
"Your dad," Thomas answered. "He--"
"Go away," Damien insisted. "I don't need a chaperone."
"It's fine. I've got nothing to do right now," Thomas said, looking over. "So, what's this all supposed to be about?"
"We're supposed to write an essay about our 'heroes'," Damien answered with clear disdain as he watched Thomas's eyes skim the paragraphs.
"You didn't name a hero."
"What?"
"You don't have anyone named as a hero in your essay."
"I don't have one."
"Everybody's got at least one hero," Thomas said. "Maybe your dad?" Damien shook his head. "Mom? Brother?"
"I don't have a hero," Damien repeated. "I honestly don't believe in heroes." He looked back at his essay but his concentration was broken. He saved the document and stood up, shouldering his backpack as he walked away, Thomas close behind. "You don't have to follow me."
"Well, now I'm intrigued. How don't you believe in heroes?"
They were outside now, the sun setting on the horizon, casting a reddish orange glow on everything. Thomas let out a lazy yawn before taking in a deep breath of fresh air. Damien considered the question carefully. Did he have a hero?
"Who's your hero?" Damien challenged.
"It used to be my dad," Thomas answered. "I used to want to be a cop like him until I was in high school." His expression changed and it wasn't lost to Damien who looked up at him curiously. It was a habit of his that Damien had long since picked up on. Any mention or question of Thomas's high school or family brought on this strange, pained look.
"You okay, Thomas?" Damien wondered.
"Y-yeah, just started thinking," Thomas replied. "It's nothing."
"Why do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Lie like that," Damien said. "You're not even good at it. You know your eye twitches when you lie. The gold one."
"How'd you--?"
"Anyone who knows you knows that," Damien explained. "This happens every single time we start talking about our families or high school or anything before college. I ask you a question, you dodge or lie and then get this weird look on your face. What's going on?"
"It's_nothing_."
"Thomas--"
"Look, I really don't want to talk about it," Thomas said hurriedly. "Besides, all that's in the past. No reason to bring it up now."
"Old ghosts can't haunt when they aren't remembered," Damien said suddenly, looking downward. "But they'll never go away."
"What?"
"It's a line from one of my favorite songs. It means that the things you want to forget will always be remembered."
"That's creepy."
"But it fits how we're your acting," Damien noted and they stopped, Thomas regarding him with a discerning, analytical gaze. "You always do this. You keep asking me about myself but completely avoid me when I ask about you. It's like pulling teeth just to get a straight answer out of you."
"That's not true."
Damien rolled his eyes. "Really? So why don't you tell me about your family for a change? What're your parents like? Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
"My parents are... parents," Thomas replied offhandedly, shrugging as he did so. "There's not really much to say. My mom's a caterer and my dad's a cop. Why are you making such a big deal about this?"
"And there you go again, trying your hardest to turn it back on me."
Thomas huffed. "Let's not argue right now. I'm feeling hungry. Want to go get something to eat?"
Damien looked away and started to walk again. "Not hungry. I'm going back to the dorm. Need to study."
"Need a study buddy?"
"No. Honestly, what I need is some time to myself."
"You won't even know I'm there."
"THOMAS!" Damien shouted and Thomas flinched. "Go somewhere else! I'm sure you need some time with Torrie. When was the last time you spent some time alone with her?"
Thomas didn't immediately answer. He shifted nervously where he stood. "O-okay, I suppose. I'll catch up with you later..."
"Alright, fine, thank you!"
"Hey, sweetie," Anna said nicely as Damien opened the door to his dorm for her. They shared a brief kiss before Damien sat on his bed, Anna sitting beside him, touching his knee nicely as she looked into his eyes. "What's wrong? It sounded urgent."
"It's nothing, I just wanted to see you," Damien said nicely. He kissed her once more. "It's been a long time since I was with just you."
"I know," Anna agreed. "That roommate of yours is pretty persistent... Is that what's bothering you?"
"Among other things," Damien admitted. "He's just so... overbearing. At first, I thought it wouldn't be so bad but--" His phone vibrated in his pocket and he scowled at the text. It was Thomas, asking if he had made it back. "You see?" he griped, showing her the message. "It's just too much! He's even more overprotective than my parents ever were."
"I'm sure he has a good reason."
"But it's just so frustrating! I can't even sneeze without him getting defensive. It's like he has a leash around my neck!"
"Hey, hey, calm down," Anna said. "It'll be okay. Eventually, he'll leave you alone and things will go back to normal. I think when you got shot, he took it really personally."
"How so?"
"He took it harder than any of us," Anna explained. "Ozzy said something about it 'happening again'. Not sure what he meant, but at the time, I was honestly just thinking about you..."
Damien looked downward. "Maybe I was too hard on him..."
"How so?"
"I yelled at him earlier today," Damien confessed. "I was irritated and annoyed and he just... I don't know... I'll apologize when he gets back. But right now, I really just want to talk to you. You now, spend some time with my girlfriend." He kissed her cheek.
She beamed. "I missed you too."
"Stop that!" Torrie said, snatching Thomas's cell phone away from him after the third time he had checked it. "Are you expecting someone else?"
"No," Thomas replied. "Just waiting for a message."
"This is getting irritating, Tommy," she snarled. "You're obsessing over Damien and I've had it. Why are you so overprotective of that dog?"
"Are you jealous?" Thomas asked, intrigued. Somehow, she looked absolutely adorable when she was angry, even when that anger was directed right at him. "That's cute, baby. But you don't have to be. You know I've only got eyes for you."
"Really? Because recently, I feel like I'm competing with Damien," she answered.
"I'm sorry if it seems that way," Thomas stated. "I just... I don't know... want to make sure he's okay after what happened. I know it's not really my job, but I feel responsible." The waiter came over now, setting down their plates. Thomas looked at his burger with a strange glare. "I don't know how to handle all this..."
"Does this have something to do with Theo?" she questioned.
Her brazen attitude and blunt question surprised Thomas so much that he was struck dumb. She looked at him unflinchingly, had asked the question so unhesitatingly, that Thomas wasn't sure that he had heard her correctly the first time. But there was no mistaking what she had asked.
"Who told you?" he said finally, his voice as monotone and devoid of emotion as he could make it.
"I heard you and Ozzy talking at the hospital," she said.
"How much did you hear?"
"Not the point. Answer my question, Tommy."
Thomas looked down at his burger. "Let's eat first. I promise I'll answer all of your questions later."
"No," she said, reaching out to stop him from taking a bite. "Answer me now or we're through. I can't be with someone who doesn't even talk to me."
"It's a long story to tell."
"Make it short."
"It's a hard story to tell."
"Stick to the high points. And stop making excuses..."
Thomas nodded and she saw something that marred his features, something she couldn't place entirely. It was a sad look, but something more than sadness. Anger? But he started to speak in a weak, unsure tone that caught her completely off guard. She had never heard anyone sound so defeated...
"I'm sorry for shouting at you," Damien said the moment when Thomas walked to the dorm. Thomas looked up at him in surprise, having been looking downward during his trek back to the dormitory. "I didn't mean to--"
"It's cool, no worries," Thomas assured him with a calm chuckle. "I was kind of... annoying, wasn't I?"
"Putting it mildly," Damien replied, just as playfully. "So, where'd you go after we left the library?"
"Me and Torrie went out on a date to that little café outside campus," Thomas said. He laid down on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. "We had a pretty deep talk. We hadn't talked like that in a while. I honestly thought she was going to break up with me."
"She didn't, did she?"
"She threatened to," Thomas answered, "but no worries. That's my problem, not yours."
"Well, your problems could become my problems while we're rooming together," Damien said.
"Probably. But I'll do my best to keep them separate."
He seemed agitated, in such a way that Damien had never seen him before. He wasn't smiling, but he wasn't scowling. His face remained neutral, unreadable, deep in thought.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
"Pay by the word and I'll write a novel," Thomas joked.
Damien forced a chortle, despite not finding the joke all that funny. "You know what, don't worry about telling me. I won't pry..."
September 12th, 20--
I never realized this before, but Thomas spends a lot of time to himself, keeping secrets and hiding things from people. I keep wondering what's going through his mind, but he'll never just come out and tell me. But Anna said something about when I was shot. Thomas said it was "happening again". Not sure what it means, but it's not my place to ask questions, is it?
I hope I didn't go overboard when I shouted at him earlier. It didn't mean to lose my temper again, but I don't know if I'm feeling particularly guilty about it. I was angry at him and I just needed to vent... but was it a mistake?
--Damien Jaime Blackwell
"Ozzy, can I ask you something?" Damien asked the next morning, just an hour before his first class.
He could almost hear Ozzy's surprise on the other line. This was the first time when Damien had actively called him, despite spending much time in his company. By the sound of it, Ozzy was outside somewhere and Damien could hear the wind blowing.
"Sure. What's up, pup?"
"Anna told me about something Thomas said when I was on my way to the hospital a few weeks back," Damien explained and he could've sworn he heard Ozzy's grip on his phone tighten. "Something about it 'happening again'. What does that mean?"
"Look, Damien, this is a hard thing to talk about for me, but it'll be nearly impossible to get a straight answer from Tommy," Ozzy said. "If I were you, I'd drop it. Trust me, he won't like you asking and you more than likely won't like the answers he'll give."
"I need an answer," Damien insisted. "Anna told me about how he reacted. I want to know what's going on."
"It's not my place to tell you, kid. Wish I could, but--"
"Just tell me what you know," Damien said.
"Why are you pushing this so hard? It's not like you, pooch."
"Because I want to know why he's acting so overprotective..."
"Look, pup, I'm sure you're annoyed by it, but just bear with it," Ozzy said. "Honestly, I think it's because you remind him of Theo."
"Who's Theo?"
"... I shouldn't have said that," Ozzy said, but Damien was sure it wasn't said on accident. "Just keep your head down and be a good boy and he'll eventually back off."
"Ozzy, what did you--?"
The line went dead and Damien silently cursed his luck. He had a feeling that Ozzy wouldn't say much more than he already had. Damien thought in silent contemplation for a while until there was a knock on his door. On the other side was Anna, ready to walk together to Professor Welles's class. Hooking her arm into his, they walked together, Damien's thoughts pushed aside as he walked along with his girlfriend, smiling genuinely as they spoke and enjoyed each other's company.
"Can I ask you something?" Damien asked as the first stars started to twinkle in the sky, visible through the dormitory window, thrown open to invite in a breeze into the rather muggy room. Thomas, who had been anxiously hurrying to finish some assignment, paused and looked over.
"What's on your mind?"
"I can talk to you, right? About anything?"
"Wow, didn't know we were so close," Thomas said and Damien wasn't sure if he was joking.
"I'm being serious, Thomas."
"Okay, what brought this on?"
"Can I talk to you?"
"Of course. I didn't think it needed to be said," Thomas remarked. "What's on your mind?"
"Why can't you talk to me the way I talk to you?" Damien asked. "You keep wanting me to tell you my secrets, but you won't tell me anything. If we're going to be roommates all year, I need you to trust me the way you want me to trust you."
"What're you driving at?"
Damien hesitated, swallowing thickly before he asked, "Can you tell me about Theo?"
The reaction was slow. Thomas's expression fell and he did something odd--he rubbed his right arm absently, looking down at it as if expecting it to move on its own. Damien's eyes narrowed at the action as he saw something odd. The fur on Thomas's arm seemed awkward, uneven, as though it had grown in differently.
"So, who told you?"
"Ozzy. I had to find out why you were acting so weird. You were basically smothering me..."
"It's not a story I like to tell," Thomas said finally.
"I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to," Damien said. "But I would really like to know, if you don't mind..." Thomas took a deep breath and he began rubbing his arm visibly. "Itchy?" Damien asked.
"Uh, no," Thomas replied. "Just a nervous habit, I guess..." With effort, he managed to stop himself from rubbing his arm, but continued to stare, as though the arm was offensive in some way. Intrigued, Damien moved closer. "Like I said, I don't like telling this... It's... bad to say the least."
Damien took gentle hold of Thomas's arm, noting how calm and reserved Thomas had become, completely unable to look up at Damien as he took a close look at the scars that were hidden beneath the uneven fur. Damien stared, quiet as he started to process what he was seeing.
"Is this what I think it is?" Damien asked.
"Depends on what you think it is."
"Don't play games. Please."
"Yeah, it's what you think," Thomas said, pulling his arm away. "Let's just say I wasn't in the best state of mind during high school, especially when I was a sophomore. Shit happened, kind of messed me up for a while. I'm not exactly proud of it."
"... Will you tell me what happened?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"At first, I was just curious," Damien admitted, "but now, I'm kind of worried about you..."
Thomas exhaled sharply. "You're not going to let this drop, are you?"
Damien shook his head. "Is it really that hard to tell?"
"It sure as fuck isn't easy," Thomas snorted derisively. He sighed heavily and looked up at the ceiling. "Do you really want to know?"
"If you don't mind..."
"...Fine," Thomas said.
"Really?"
"Yeah, I'll tell you," Thomas said. "But it may take a while."
"I don't mind," Damien replied. "If you want, I can tell you a story when you're done."
Thomas chortled, "Don't think I'll be in the mood for one after... but sure..." He took a deep breath. "Might want to sit down. This'll be a long story..." Damien sat on his bed once more, his focused eagerly on Thomas as he waited. Thomas took a few steadying breaths and began to speak. "I remember you asked me yesterday if I had any brothers or sisters... I had a brother. Theodore Henry Martan..."