Chapter sixteen - Those around you

Judy's face brightened when the scenery changed to show the seemingly never-ending fields outside Zootopia. Every time she made a trip to her hometown, she remembered her very first travel in the opposite direction, marveling on every single thing she saw as the train went through all districts of the city. Now, used already to the tall buildings at the center, the hot air of Sahara Square or the snow in Tundratown, she loved seeing the hills and open plains as the car drove in.

It was the first time she was making the trip by car, however. Normally, she and Nick took the train by the fox's request, since he complained about wanting to rest for a few days of driving and just enjoy the scenery. Judy was sure it was just an excuse to try to nap even before they were at their destiny, so the cruel bunny, as Nick had ended calling her, made it impossible for him to close an eye for more than one second, giving him conversation, making him play games with her and other things to keep him awake. The tired fox always arrived the Hopps home with a grumpy face, until a bowl of blueberries was placed on his paws that is.

The reason for choosing the car this time was looking through the window on the back seat of the car. Mark had been silent since he got into the car in front of his house, despite all attempts of his friends to get him into any conversation. Even when they had to use the transport on the Canal District to cross the river separating the city from the main land, he would just sit alone and talk to no-one.

• After what happened at his home when we went yesterday to convince him to come, I think it's best if we have a car ready to leave if he does not feel like staying a minute longer.- Explained Nick while the ferry moved away from the dock and Judy asked about the reason for not using the train this time.- He is a ticking bomb right now, and to depend on train schedules or other people to get to the station is not a good idea.

The bunny had to agree to that logic as she peeked over her shoulder to the macaque behind her. The events of last night had been very shocking to see.

...

• Mark... Judy and Nick are here to see you. Would you like to come out?

No sound came in reply to Shana's question, just as she had predicted would happen. Judy had explained her and Nathan, with Nick as support, her intention of taking Mark to Bunnyburrows so he could relax and get his mind off for a few days away from that room. They thought it was an excellent idea, but the problem would be to get their brother to agree to go with them, and that if he even let them get into the room to tell him their plan.

So far, no success.

• Come on, bro! I know your pajama is horrible, but that is no reason to stay in there for so long!- Nathan's turn to try was met with the same result as his sister's. The four mammals outside the door exchanged looks of worry.

• Mind if I try?- Asked Judy getting closer to the door. The two siblings stepped back to give her some space.- Mark. It's me, Judy. I know you are not well right now and I can't imagine how bad you must feel. But you don't have to be alone in this, you've got us. We want to help you, be with you like you have been for us... like you have been for me.

Still, no sound came through the door from inside, but Judy tried again.- Please, open the door. If you don't want to come out, I understand, but at least let us in so we can see you. Or one of us if you want. Just don't shut us out.

For a moment they thought the answer would remain the same, but the sound of slow steps approaching the door lifted their hopes up.

• Please, leave me alone.

Just as fast as their hopes skyrocketed they plummeted to the ground and crashed. The weak and broken voice, almost unrecognizable as Mark's, had been enough to make them know in how bad a shape he was.

• It was worth trying. We will figure something out.- Said Nick, trying to keep the optimism around without noticing the change in Shana and Nathan's face.

• Step back.- Said the big macaque before taking in some air, lifting his right leg and kicking open the door with one single hit. Sitting on the bed, with his arms up to shield his eyes, was Mark.

Or a shadow of him, to be precise: His eyes literally could not have had any more tear to shed, so puffy and red his eyes were; the bags under them told them he had barely taken any sleep this past few days.

Still, after the initial surprise, he had enough energy to show how angry he was for this intrusion.

• WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? I WANT TO BE...

He couldn't finish that sentence as a fist connected with his left jaw, making him fall to the ground. The fist had not been Nathan's, however, but Shana's.

• That is enough, Mark! You can't stay in here forever, you must get out of this room and face the reality!- Said the female as she approached her again shocked younger brother until they were face to face, her hands taking a hold on his shoulders.- We are all worried about you, Mark! We can't go on like this!

• Then don't!- Yelled Mark.- I already told you to leave me alone!

• Stop acting like a child! You know we can't do that!

She turned her head when a hand was placed on her shoulder, drawing her attention. Nathan was looking at her, like asking the female to step aside and let him speak with Mark. She did so, facing the wall to hide a few tears in her eyes.

• Listen, Mark.- Started Nathan.- I know you are having a very hard time, we all are.

• Yeah, I can see that.- Snapped the younger brother.- That is why you both are so relaxed, right? I don't know if you noticed, but mom is dead!

Nathan's fist clenched tightly, very ready to hit Mark at any moment. Both Judy and Nick were watching the whole scene without knowing what to do, but when they thought Nathan was about to hit his brother, and they were very sure that it would cause more than a simple bruising, they quickly stepped in.

But their surprise was big when there was no impact. Instead of punching his brother, he grabbed him and pulled Mark into an embrace.

• We know, you idiot. She was our mother too. I know you and her went through a lot of crap together, when I was too stupid to care. But I loved her as much as you did, and so does Shana. We are just as hurt as you are.

Mark's anger disappeared from his face to be replaced by grief, allowing himself to let tears flow as he hid his face in his brother's chest, being joined by Shana shortly after.

After that moment, once they saw everything was under control, Judy and Nick went to the living room to give them some privacy. They didn't have to wait long before the three of them came out the broken door. Shana and Nathan had explained Mark about Judy's plan to go to Bunnyburrow and managed to get him to accept. Judy could see, however, that even if they managed to get him out of that room, Mark still was grieving and wanting to be alone to solve this situation by himself.

At least, Judy thought, he was allowing them to try.

...

So, there they were, on their way to the Hopps family home to spend a couple of days. Thankfully, Chief Bogo had been very understanding of the situation and allowed the three of them to have those days as a "reward" for the success of the SWAT mission. When Judy had told Nick that, he had groaned and complained a lot, saying he could have used them to rest at home. The bunny knew that was just façade and that he was happy to help.

Luckily for them, the distance between Zootopia and her home was not that great. In about 2 hours they arrived at the huge farming fields belonging to Bunnyburrows, and the part belonging to her family was close to the north-east border.

Judy grew up surrounded with so much open space and the smell of green grass that many would think she was tired of it, maybe even that being another reason for moving to the big city, yet still it felt great to be back to that familiar environment.

• That is the Jumper's field, we are very close to home.- Said the bunny to her friends pointing to the farming land to their right, where several bucks were working.- That one is Jared Jumper, the head of the family. Oh! That one over there is Alex, one of Jared's son. Wow, he has changed!

• I am always amazed how not only you remember each and every single name of your family, but also who is who around here.- Admitted the fox, making Judy giggle.- I can barely remember ten or so names of your siblings, and that includes yours and your parents'!

• Sure you know more! Remember last year, on the carrot festival? Who brought us home for the night?

The fox squinted his eyes in an effort to remember that.- Eeeeeem, was he Barney? No, wait, it was Bernard! No no no, I got it, I know I got it! Barret!

• Barbara.- Corrected Judy, looking at him with a bit of annoyance. She actually had brothers called Barney, Bernard, and Barret, but she was sure that he was just throwing random names just to tease her.

• Close enough. I knew it started with "B".

• You only said male names, Barbara is a female.

• What? Can't females have male names? I thought we have fought against discrimination long enough not to fall for those things! I happen to know a waitress named Barry!

• That girl you know is called "Baylee", the waitress at the bar in front of the precint. And you said "he" while trying to guess my sister's name.

• You must have heard wrong, Carrots. You should check your ears while we are here.

A groan escaped Judy while she tried not to strangle her friend since he was the one driving. She looked in Mark's direction to see if their conversation had somewhat made him react. Nothing.

After ten more minutes of driving, Judy told them they were in Hopps' territory and pointed where a big house could be seen. Nick had already been there a couple of times, but it still amazed him to see such an impressive building: it was three stories high, rectangular and each corner was smoothed into a curve, including the roof. Occupying the front from side to side, a wooden porch decorated the entrance to the building.

Behind the main building, there was a smaller one, though still big, used as a barn. Nick had gone inside once with Judy's father and was amazed at the number and diversity of tools inside and how well maintained was the farming tractor.

Surrounding all that was a seemingly endless field whose only visible frontier that they could see was a fence separating it from the road. It was near lunch time, so there was nobody there at the moment. All of Judy's siblings were probably waiting for them inside the house.

Nick drove through the dirt road inside the property and parked the car by the family truck. While climbing out of the car, a bunny-like silhouette peeked through the window and a high pitched yell could be heard from the inside, Joined by many more infantile voices that preceded almost a literal river of gray, brown, white and black long-eared fluffy kits running in their direction, shouting in excitement.

Nick grinned evilly. Since the first trip he made to Judy's family house, her younger brothers and sisters had tackled him every time he appeared. Those kits enjoyed yanking his ears and tail, and once they latched themselves to his arms it was impossible to remove them. Also, while one or two, or even ten, would not be much of a problem, about fifty little balls of fur, no matter how adorable they were, weighed a lot.

This time, since there was a new mammal around, Nick saw that the "river" was directed towards the macaque, and was ready to watch him get buried under it. What he didn't see was Judy making gestures to the little bunnies to go after Nick instead. The fox realized the change in course too late and couldn't escape before he had several kits grabbing him and greeting him, forcing him to the ground were the bunnies started to pile on him.

• Noooooo, please, help meeeee! Too much adorableness! Betrayal! You betrayed me, Carrots! I trusted youuuuuu!- Managed to say the fox before he was completely covered and his voice was muffled under all fur. Judy was giggling, as were other bunnies coming out of the house to check what the ruckus was about. Two of them were her parents, four more were younger and older siblings of the doe, that were enjoying the show as much as Judy. Mark was also looking at the scene, but Judy could not see if it was causing him any positive reaction.

The adults waved to the young doe as she approached with Mark behind her and hugged her when they got to them.

• Welcome home, Honey!- Greeted Bonnie.- It's so nice to have you home!

• Come on, mom! You know I come as much as I can! I spend almost all my vacations here!

• And they feel too short.- Retorted Stu, also hugging his daughter. Then, he raised his gaze to meet Mark's eyes.- You must be Mark! Very glad to meet you, son!- Greeted the patriarch offering his paw for a shake, which Mark accepted.

• Likewise, Sir. Ma'am.- Said Mark with a smile that Judy had seen plenty of times before on Nick when he still hid his feelings. The macaque was trying to appear as normal as possible in front of her family to avoid questions and awkward situations.

• Please, you can call us by our names!- Said Bonnie.- You are taking care of our Judy while in the city, that grants you lots of privileges in our home.

• Mom! I can take care of myself, thank you very much!- Protested the young doe, thought internally she was glad things were going ok for now.

The kits behind her were still on top of Nick, so Judy told them to go play elsewhere and, like a fluffy flock, they ran away, leaving an exhausted fox lying on the ground but with a smile on his face. Despite all his complains, he actually liked to play with those kits. After so many years of feeling like an outcast just for being a fox, to have those children playing with him so naturally was a very welcome thing.

• Thanks...- Managed to say while standing up to check for any missing limb, especially his tail, and looking at her like warning the bunny to expect some sort or vengeance.

• And you remember Nick, of course.- Said Judy, more to her older siblings since her parents knew him very well.

• Sure! We met last year!- Said one of them, Ian, while shaking his paw.- Remind me to bring my kits next time so you can take care of them for a while, you seem to handle them well.

• As long as you pay my price, that won't be a problem.- Replied the fox with his signature hustler expression.

• All the blueberries he can eat.- Explained Judy before her brother could ask.- He could be eating them forever.

• That's a deal.- Said Ian before all of them, invited by Judy's parents, stepped inside the enormous house.

Nick had stayed in Judy's family house a couple of times now, and yet it amazed him every time he visited. From the outside it was already impressive, but the inside was even better: as he recalled, a great part of the ground floor was dedicated to communal life, so all the bunnies living there had to be able to fit comfortably in either the living room at his right, equipped with many TV, DVD and console sets surrounded by puffs and a couple of couches and armchairs for the adults to near the south walls, or in the dinning room at his left, with one big table and too many chairs to count around it. On that floor, accessed through a hall in front of them, between the dinning room and the living room and by the stairs to the upper levels, were Stu and Bonnie's room, the smaller kits rooms and the guest rooms, these last ones at the farthest side of the hall and of different sizes to accommodate various kinds of mammals.

Nick had never seen the other floors, but Judy had explained that the first one was for young kits, sharing rooms with their littermates. As they grow and start needing some privacy, they get smaller but separate rooms on the second floor, better for young students for example.

• We were about to begin first round.- Said Bonnie to the three friends as she directed her steps towards the dinning room, behind which was the kitchen.- Go leave your things in your rooms and relax for a while before our turn. The usual rooms are waiting for you. Mark, you get number eleven.

• Got it!- Said Nick and Judy at the same time, both used to how things ran around. The fox beckoned Mark to follow them through the hall as he began answering the unspoken question from the macaque.- There are too many kits to feed to do it at the same time. It would be chaos. So, they make turns, or rounds as they call them. They start with the younger ones, who need help from the older ones to eat either because they are still babies or serve the food by themselves. After all the young ones are served, the older ones get to eat in peace while the rest nap, play or whatever they want.

Mark nodded in understanding as they arrived to the guest rooms, Judy having opened the door to hers already and pulling her suitcase inside. A quick peek inside revealed what at first looked like a blue room but turned out to be a lot of police related posters decorating almost every free space on the walls. By a big window was a desk with an orange and green computer and a carrot-shaped alarm clock. So far, it looked very much like what he expected of Judy's room... Until he looked at the bed and saw it covered by plushies of many kinds, including one very cute bunny in a police officer uniform.

Even in his depressed state, that made him smile a little... even if just for a very brief moment. Just enough for Judy to see it

• You like it? It's actually bigger than those my siblings have.- Said Judy in a low voice, like she was sharing a very dark secret that she didn't want anyone else to hear.- Since I don't actually live here anymore, I don't have a room on the second floor, but my parents wanted me to always have one ready for me in case I decided to come back or just visit. So, they brought my things down here and has become my room ever since. And the guest rooms are about twice the size I should have.

• All because she became a police officer.- Added Nick with his signature smile from the doorframe.- I wonder what would happen if she had become an astronaut.

Judy rolled her eyes but smiled none the less.

• Go leave your things in your rooms, then we'll go to the...- The sound of a bell rang through the house, and shortly after the sound of way too many feet to count rumbled over their heads and from the outside in the kitchen's direction.- First round is starting. We will eat on the third round, so we still have about an hour. Go leave your things.

The fox and macaque agreed and each one entered their respective rooms, which were by Judy's. The guest room was a more impersonal version of Judy's, with the basic furniture and just enough decoration to give it enough color to make anyone feel welcome there.

Mark left his bag on the floor, close to the window and started looking out through it. After the stampede of the first batch of kits going to the kitchen had subsided, a lot more of them could be heard from the outside, playing, chatting, laughing... Some sounded distant, but some of the young bunnies were actually visible through the glass, barely a couple of meters away. From that window, he could see the dirt road surrounding the house, the fence acting as a physical frontier between the building and the crop fields and then the actual fields, extending, as the said goes, as far as the eye could see. In front of him, he could recognize the obvious carrot plants organized in rows, the tasty roots still buried under the ground; further inside the field, there were tall bushes with grown bunnies working on them. He guessed those were blueberry bushes. To the right there was a lot more field, but it was outside of his line of vision and couldn't see what was planted.

All around him was inviting to relax, to enjoy the good vibes of the place and company, but the monkey didn't want any of that. He just wished to be alone, thinking of his mother, whom he had lost forever. Even after all the time he had to prepare himself, it hurt too much. And all this happiness around him felt like an offense when all he wanted was to mourn her.

A knock on the door drew his attention to Judy, who was at the doorframe, smiling warmly at him, and the red bushy tail of Nick, who was mostly out of sight, waiting.

• Hey. Do you like your room?- Asked the bunny.

• It's ok.- Was the simple reply Mark gave her. Normally, that kind of answer would have been considered rude, but Judy didn't seem to care.

• Good! It has one of the best views on this floor.- Said Judy, trying to make conversation.- The sunlight doesn't come in directly, so you can see the fields all day and enjoy the view.- She moved as if she wanted to walk inside, but thought against it and remained there.- So, are you ready for a tour around the place?

Mark was not blind, nor didn't care about Judy's efforts: she was trying her best to help him, to pull him out of the mud. The bunny was inviting, not forcing; she was not imposing her presence or plans on him. She did want him to accept, of course, but would not pull him out of the room by the ear if he refused.

Sadly, he was not in the mood.

• I think I'll stay here.- Was his answer as he turned to face the window again, showing his back to his friend. Judy's smile failed at that. She had expected this, however, and recovered to try again, but she heard her name being whispered from her left by Nick and desisted.

• Ok, then. We'll go ahead and take a walk. If you need anything, just ask. Ok?

Mark turned his head in her direction and nodded before face the window again. Judy grabbed the doorknob and closed the door, sighing as the click of the mechanism resounded in the hall.

• He is the one that has to choose, remember?- Said Nick in a low voice as he passed an arm around his friend an started walking down the hall.- If he wants to stay in the room, then all we can do is remind him that we are available should he need us. You can't take helping him as your mission or something, you are not his psychiatrist.

• No, but I am his friend.

• And yet, that does not make you responsible for him.- Replied the fox calmingly.- You already have done a lot for him, including bringing him to your family home. Now, it's his turn to move. I care for him too, Carrots, but if he does not want to be helped, there is nothing we can or should do.

Judy grunted in frustration as they both exited the hall and went for the main door, going outside the building to actually walk around. From a room they had passed by, a pair of long light-brown ears emerged and, after a brief thinking and accommodating the green cap with a carrot on it, the bunny under them decided to walk in the direction the couple had come from.

...

A gentle but firm knock on the door surprised the young macaque. Since Judy and Nick had left, he was not expecting anyone else to call. Before he could ask who it was, a voice on the other side came through.

• Sorry, kid. Mark, was it? Mind if I come in for a moment?

Mark recognized the voice as Judy's father. While he would very much prefer to be alone, this was the Hopps' home and he a guest. Even in his state, he thanked Judy and her family for what they were doing.

• Come in.

As the door opened, the adult buck walked in and closed it behind him, smiling to the macaque.- Is this room okay for you? We could arrange it so you get another if you want. I ignore if you prefer a darker or brighter room or one a little quieter.- Added looking through the window and his smile widening at the sight of his children.

• This room is fine, thank you Mr. Hopps.- Answered Mark, putting on again a fake smile.

• Call me Stu. My wife said the truth when he told you to call us by our names, son.- Said the buck looking at the monkey for a moment before returning his gaze to his kits. For a moment he remained silent, and the monkey was about to ask why was he here when he spoke again, this time in a less joyful tone.- Let's not pretend we don't know the reason you are here, Mark. I am very sorry for your loss. Probably you are tired of those words by know, that is why I wanted to say them now that you have just arrived and on behalf of everybody. That way, there is one thing less you have to worry about.

• I don't...

• Let me finish, please.- Interrupted Stu, raising a hand.- I haven't told everyone about it, only those who might ask about it. I want you to feel welcome and secure in my house, and that includes no-one asking if you are ok or if you want to talk about it every step you make. Either if you wish to remain in this room until you leave or if you decide on a walk alone through the field, that is ok by me, you are free to do it and I want you to know that. But if you will accept an old buck's advice, there is no room that will give you what you need.

The way Stu had said it, not wanting to force anything on Mark or criticize his behavior, was what make Mark listen to the older mammal. So deep in thought he was he didn't hear how Stu opened the door and left.

...

As her feet led Judy down the hall, she repassed mentally what she was going to say to Mark. Maybe if she said the right words, he would accept coming out of the room.

The bell announcing the second round had sounded a while back and the third would start in a couple of minutes, so she had decided to ask the macaque to join her with her family and Nick. Honestly, she was expecting him to turn the invitation down, but she had to try.

Once she was in front of Mark's door, breathed deeply, shrugged off her worries and tried to look normal before knocking.

• Come in.- Said Mark's voice from the other side a second after, which surprised the bunny but entered anyway to find Mark sitting on the bed.

• Hey. It's almost time for us to eat. Want to join us?- Asked Judy with an inviting smile from the doorframe, not wanting to fully come in in case he wanted to be left alone.

• Ok.- Replied the monkey as he stood up and walked towards her, not a hint of rejection to be seen.

Again, that surprised Judy, not expecting her previously depressed and in antisocial state friend to accept company so easily. While he was obviously still sad and hurt, the difference between him and the mammal they almost had to drag out of his room the day before was huge.

• O-ok! Nice! Let's go!- After the few seconds she needed to get out of her shock, she walked with Mark down the hall with the widest smile on her face, happy to see some improvement, even if the reason for it was unknown to her.

About to reach the dinning room, a lot of bunny kits ran past them and either through the door out of the building, to the living room to their left or up the stairs to their rooms. To avoid being crushed by the furry stampede, both mammals stepped aside and pressed themselves against the wall, Judy shouting them not to run inside the house or make so much noise, being completely ignored by her siblings.

When the last one passed and they could resume their way, the bell rang again and a more quiet atmosphere settled. Around the big tables, Judy's oldest siblings and her parents were sitting and sighing in relief, relaxing for the first time in quite a while. Nick was there too, sitting by the Hopps' patriarch and with two empty seats by his left. At the sight of the bunny and macaque, he smiled and motioned to the seats, inviting.

As he approached the fox, Mark looked at the rest of Judy's family sitting there, all of them waving and greeting friendly the macaque. As Stu had promised, none of them asked him anything, which he was grateful for.

One thing he noticed, however, was the oddly small number of them at the table. Barely half of one table was being occupied, and, if his calculations were correct, Judy had to have more siblings her age and older.

• Carl and the others haven't come yet?- Asked Judy to her parents after quickly scanning the room, sitting down and leaving the seat between her and Nick to be filled by mark.

• They called while you were outside, dear.- Replied Bonnie while serving them the food.- Aaron has fallen playing football and twisted his ankle. They are at the clinic right now.

• Aw, that is too bad!- Said a female bunny across from Judy, her fur dark brown with black ears.- Erika wanted to show him a new game she learned today!

• If it's the one about jumping around marbles in certain order, Bobby probably taught him yesterday.- A white male by their left joined the conversation.- I saw my kits and Aaron playing that while I was coming home from work.

The rest started talking among themselves as they ate, some wondering about the rules of that new game their kids played and other about their work. Bonnie resumed answering Judy's question.- Daniel's family is leaving for vacation tomorrow morning, so they had to finish getting they bags ready. And since the rest is either out of town or busy, we are not expecting anyone else today.

• That is too bad!- Said Nick between bites on his salat with a sad face- That is about fifty bunnies that won't pull on my tail today-OUCH!- A hit to his paw with a metal spoon by a death-glaring Judy told him that joke had not been nice. Mark had to lean back a bit to avoid being a collateral damage.

• Don't worry about that, Nick.- Told him Ian, a couple of seats away, with a very evil look on his face.- If you are still here the day after tomorrow, I can bring my kits and tell them to pull on your tail all day long.

• Yay, what fun!- The fox's face contradicted his word as he hated his big mouth and made some of the present bunnies laugh.

...

After the meal was over, and contrary of what Nick and Judy were expecting, Mark decided to take on Stu's suggestion and went for a walk around the property instead of going back to his room. So far, after reaching the back side of the main building and walking inside a field filled with cabbages and lettuces, he felt no different than inside the four walls or surrounded by his friends and Judy's relatives: alone.

He didn't want to be there, he didn't want anybody around him. If he could, he would go back home, get inside his room and close it forever, not opening it even for his brother and sister. He wanted to just lay in bed and be left alone.

That is how he felt. Still, a contradictory wish was always there, a longing for company, of someone who could help him ease the pain. How could that be, if he didn't want anyone close?

After a while walking around, watching from a distance some of the Hopps working around the farm and seeing kits helping them or playing hide and seek and other games around, and with the sun midway its descend, he returned and sat on one of the benches that were on the back of the building, facing the sunset. The stroll didn't solve anything, answered any questions or infused him with any new wisdom. It had served no purpose. Even if it sounded childish, the only solution to all this would be for his mother to come back, to magically appear like nothing had happened, or wake up and find all to be a dream.

But that wouldn't happen, of course.

Hurried steps coming from his left alerted him that someone was coming. Already prepared to ask to be left alone, he saw Nick running around the corner out of breath and sweaty, his tongue hanging out of his muzzle to allow more air to come in and moisten the insides of his mouth. After looking at the macaque for a moment, he put on a tired smile, waved his hand at him and sat on a bench a few meters away from Mark, stretching his legs and allowing himself to rest, not saying anything else to the other mammal.

Paying attention to the direction the fox had come from, Mark heard young voices, many of them, excitedly talking to each other. The only word he made out was "find", and maybe something that sounded like "tale", before the kits moved away and he could only hear the exhausted breathing of the red canine.

Even after the predator had recovered enough to breathe more normally, he didn't speak at all, seemingly enjoying the warmth of the sunlight with his eyes closed. The macaque found himself curious about what had happened.

• Why were you running from those kits?

The fox opened his eyes, confusion and surprise visible in his expression, and formed a smile as he replied.- Because they get me exhausted. They have too much energy for me to handle, and they are far too many. As soon as some get tired and what to give me a rest, others want to climb on me.

• Then why do you play so much with them? You could tell them to let you rest for a while.

• Sure, I could do that.- Agreed Nick.- But then, they would think I don't want to play anymore or fear that I don't like to play with them, and I do want to!

• why?

Nick turned his head to the dying sun and closed his eyes, the smile fixed on his muzzle.- Because they don't care I am a fox. They are just kits and want to have fun. To them, I am...- The fox's expression frowned in search of the right word.- Exotic. Yeah, that could be the right word. They have seen foxes before, there is one called Gideon living in town and they play with him every time he visits, but still they are more used to other bunnies. The little ones, while they know predators used to eat meat, they don't know about foxes eating them or how sly, mischievous and untrustworthy we are. So, they are not afraid of me or my fangs, nor they distrust me. They just grab my tail and play with it.

Such a simple answer, and yet it entailed all the hardship the fox had to live with in the past, only a small fraction of which was known by the macaque. He had lived alone, or mostly, since a very young age on the streets, relying on nobody more than necessary and not showing his real face to no-one.

• How was it, to live alone?

Mark's question was met by many feelings in Nick's expression: surprise, sadness, shame, regret... The smile had left his face as the fox pondered what to answer, or if to answer at all.

• If you had asked me that at that time, I would probably have said it was good; now, I wouldn't be able to go back to that lifestyle. People looked down on me, never expecting anything good from a fox. Leaving that aside, hustling provided me with money to buy food, a place to sleep at night and whatever luxury the money I had obtained that day allowed. Sometimes I had to survive with a simple sandwich for a whole day, others not even that, but those days I got a lot of cash I enjoyed everything. I didn't care how had I obtained that money. As far as I knew, I would never be able to get any working legally as no-one would trust a fox with any job.

That didn't answer his question, but Mark understood that all that was needed for the fox to explain himself correctly.

• After each day, I laid on my bed, alone, not thinking about anything except the next hustle. No mammal told me what to do, what I should think or say, what my schedules were, how should I behave... The only opinion that mattered was mine simply because I was the one living it. I respected others as long as there was mutual benefit and they didn't screw me up. At that time, I was living as I wanted, I had what I wanted... That is until the illusion breaks.

Nick leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, gazing in front of him but looking beyond it, to the memories of his past.

• The first time I was... around sixteen, about a year after I left my home. A deal had gone wrong and I was forced to run from a very angry buffalo (not Chief Bogo, just so you know). I managed to get to the Rainforest District, where I thought it would be harder for him to catch me with all the places I could turn and climb on. Sadly, I miscalculated a jump over a low branch and fell hard, breaking my arm in the process. The buffalo didn't find me, but I had another problem: I lived alone, no-one to bother me or tell me what to do; but I was also alone, no-one to take care for me while I healed. Hospitals were out of the question, they would call my mother, the police and who knows who else. I had to endure the pain alone until the bone healed. The same every time I got the flu, I got beaten, I hadn't eaten in two days... I had no-one to rely on.

The macaque stayed silent for a moment, taking all that in. He had expected Nick's past to be hard, and the fox didn't disappoint him.

• Did you ever considered going back home, to your mother?- Asked Mark.

Nick sighed, letting his head bob up and down as if replying in advance.- Many times, normally each time I had one of those moments. There were days that I even went so close as to literally stand on my mom's door, my paw about to knock. Obviously, never did. I didn't want to see her disappointed face, to hear her tell me how a bad son had I been, to see her cry in shame for having a delinquent as a son. Yet I was almost about to go through all that if at the end I got a hug, that is all I wanted, to know that there was someone caring for me. That was until my mom died.

That surprised the monkey, who didn't bother to hide it.- How? What happened?

• I don't really know for sure. I got word of her passing a couple of months after it happened. A friend of my mother recognized me eight years ago on the street and she offered her condolences, asked me how I was doing... I only remember walking to my mom's house to see it for myself. The place was empty, everything sold. Then I went to my place and didn't come out for a couple of days. At some point, Finnick came to my home drunk with several beers on his paw and offered me some. Needless to say, I didn't want anyone nearby, but I took them and ended up like him.

• Did it help?- Asked Mark.- How did you get past it?

The fox's face had been grim for a while now, but that question made him grin.- I didn't. I still feel for my mom's passing, I just let it sting me a little each day and then go through the day. Of course, it wasn't easy at first. I lived alone, so no-one bothered me but, at some point, I would run out of money and would need to get more. It didn't go well, mind you. I was not in the mood to fake any smile or try to trick others. That is when Finnick came in with the beers. I was about to kick him out, drunk and all, but he pushed the beers against me and told me to shut up and drink. So, I drank. I didn't normally drink at that time, so after two or so bottles I already was tipsy. I ended up telling him how bad I felt, how confused I was wanting a shoulder to cry on and at the same time wishing everyone disappeared. He then, in his drunken stupor, tried to explain philosophically why I felt like that. It turns out that little fennec gets mystical when he is drunk and he doesn't know it.- Said while trying to hold some giggles in.

• What did he tell you?- Asked impatiently the monkey.

• Well... To tell you the truth, I don't remember much of it.- Admitted the fox, scratching the back of his head awkwardly under the gaze of the macaque.- I was drunk at the time, so much of what happened is fuzzy at best. But I do remember the gist of it: you can't get past the death of your mother, or any family member for that matter. They are a very important part of you. Mothers are supposed to be with you, taking care of you, until you have your own family to do it instead of them. My mother died when I was twenty-six, way too young to lose her. She left a void that I wanted to fill, but no-one is as good as a mother. So I wanted someone close to take care of me but, since they weren't my mother, I wanted no-one close. It's a circle that can't be broken. Instead, let someone else in, Finnick in this case. While I couldn't consider him a friend back then, he was the closest thing I had. He became my partner in crime, literally. I trusted him more than anyone at that time. It wasn't much, but it worked. And I think it was mutual since he allowed me to used his small size for our hustles, including, but not limited to, little elephant costumes.

Mark didn't pay much attention to that last part. Nick's story was similar to his own. Worse, in fact, now that he thought about it: The fox never had a chance to say farewell to his mother, Mark did; he had no-one at that time, Mark did.

• I know it's hard right now, that is why we are trying to help you the best we can.- Said Nick, drawing the monkey's attention back to him.- We want to help you, if you let us. You can stay locked up in a room, but you deserve to be happy. None of us is Suzie and we can't bring her back, but we are here for you.

As he stood up, the fox walked closer to Mark and placed a paw on his shoulder before walking around the corner he had come before, but not to go back and play some more with the kits.

He hoped that remembering all that and sharing it with Mark had helped his friend, but it had helped him realize something: Finnick had been the one he relied on eight years ago and all that time, but he wasn't seeing the fennec anymore. The small fox still hustled, however alone or with another partner, he didn't know, so Nick could maintain a stable relationship with him while being a police officer. They still exchanged calls and messages from time to time, but it wasn't the same.

Now it was another that helped Nick put one foot in front of the other each day, in a way, Nick finally acknowledged that, deeper than any friendship would.

-"You deserve to be happy."- Repeated the fox to himself as he walked thought the fields in search of some specific items.- It's time I apply that to myself.

...

Judy finally was able to get some of her younger siblings to bed, a feat that made her respect her mother even more. The matriarch of the family had help now around the house, be it cleaning, feeding the younger ones, bathing them... the older ones were the ones dividing the work around the house. But there was a time when they, the older sibling, had been young. It had been all Bonnie's responsibility. How had she managed to do everything around the house by herself was out of the doe's comprehension, and it made her look to her mother under a new light.

Passing by one of the rooms close to the stairs, she heard her father's voice inside urging the little bunnies to get into bed and them giggling and running around, as if a full day of activity hadn't been enough to tire them out. She remembered when she was the one refusing to sleep and her father, a much younger buck back then, played a little with her and her littermates before they all agreed to close their eyes.

With a smile on her face, she walked down the stairs and, coming from her left, where the living room was, she heard some cooing and a soft voice replying. As she peeked inside, the doe saw Mark sitting on a couch and his head facing something on his left arm. As she got close she could see a bundle with one of her new brothers, Zack, raising his little arms to the long fingers of the macaque, who was moving them around for the baby to follow and try to catch. Every time Zack almost grabbed a finger, he made that adorable sound and tried again.

Leaning over the back of the couch, she smiled at Mark when he perceived her presence.- Hey.

• Hey.- Replied the macaque back, returning his gaze to the baby.- Your mom had difficulty putting the other babies to sleep with this one not wanting to sleep at all, so she asked me to hold him for a while until he got tired. So far, he is winning over me.

Judy smiled widely, not only for the joke he had said, but also that he seemed to be better enough to make jokes.- Want me to hold it?

• Nah, I got it.- He said allowing Zack to grab his fingers to make him coo again and caressed his face with one of the free ones. The baby smile widened before letting out a yawn.- Ok, now we are talking.

• Wow, I'm impressed. You are good with children.

Mark smiled at her, albeit a hint of sadness could be seen on his face.- I had a baby brother when I was little, so I have some experience.

The doe's smile flattened at that.- Had? What happened to him?

• He got very sick, died when he was barely five months old.- Explained the macaque, then looked up to Judy and smiled.- It happened when I was four, I don't remember much. Only holding him a lot and feeling sad that he was no more. I actually hadn't thought about him for many years until now.

That reminded something Nathan said the day before in mark's room, when trying to convince him to go with them: "I know you and her went through a lot of crap together, when I was too stupid to care.". Could both things be related?

• Hey, uh... Sorry about how I've been behaving lately.- Said Mark, snapping Judy out of her thoughts.- I should have relayed on you and, instead, I blocked all of you out.

• There's no need for that. Really.- Insisted the bunny when Mark seemed about to continue.- I don't know how hard this is for you, but I can imagine it is. You were just trying to cope with it as best as you could.

Mark's smile reached finally his eyes, grateful for Judy's words of understanding. A yawn from Zack turned their attentions back to him.

• So, are you ok?- Dared to ask Judy.

• No.- Replied him.- I'm better, but I still have a long way before I am ok.

The finger that was still caressing the baby's cheek moved to the long ears, making him put a relaxed face and closed his eyes.

• I miss her.- Said Mark, his eyes beginning to water.- I want her back.

Judy went behind Mark and hugged him, placing her head against his right cheek. The macaque grabbed Judy's arms with his free hand, appreciating the gesture, and some silent tear dropped down his eyes, him trying his best to hold them in.

• Don't.- Said the bunny, hugging him tighter.- Let them out, it's ok.

As if that was all he needed, he let everything go, feeling his friend's hug help him release a poison out of him. It was quick, just enough so he could accept what had happened and start healing.

Or, as Nick had put it, to get through that day.

• Thank you, Silk. For everything.

• No problem. That's what we are for.- Said the doe, and a grin appeared on her face when something to make him smile popped on her head.- Just promise me that you won't cry on our next date. That would be too embarrassing.

Mark not only smiled, he had to contain a laugh if he didn't want to wake up the now sleeping baby in his arms.- So you finally gave it a thought, uh?

• Some. I still have to figure out some details.- She said, happy that it had worked. Suddenly, she realized how close their faces were and a shade of pink tinted her face. He was about to let go of him when she thought better.

Turning even redder, she closed her eyes and placed a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth, surprising him and, to the doe's internal satisfaction, also making his face redden too.

A soft coo from the sleeping baby in Mark's arms woke them both from their stupor and they gazed away from the other.

• I'll tell mom Zack is sleeping. Could you bring him?

• Sure.- Replied him, sounding a little distracted, as he stood up slowly and started walking around the couch.

As she walked pass the hall to the bedrooms, Judy saw Nick's figure entering his and closing the door. Guessing he was too tired after playing with her siblings so much, kept walking until she noticed on the table by the stairs a beautiful bouquet.

"Oh, dad, mom is going to be very happy tonight."- Thought the young doe, going to the babies' room in search for her mother, a nice tint on her cheeks and a happy smile on her face.