FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Okay, okay, I know, I said that this chapter would get into ze Yiff - and I assure you, that WAS my intention! - but most writers will tell ya, that when the story goes one way, you don't try to force it too hard.

And that sounds dirty... ANYWAY, just keep your pitchforks and torches stowed for now, and I assure you, that some sort of Yiff-like material shall come your way soon.

Also, I know, kind of touchy-feely, and more, but... Look, I love a mindless screw as much as the next virile male, but sometimes you want MORE.

So, enjoy, if'n this is your kind 'o thing, and if you see any major errors, lemme know, 'cuz I kinda went apeshitcrazy to get this out in one night.

Oh, and no stealing, or my Robo-ninjas shall corrupt your bodily fluids with Flouride! MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

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Sleep released its hold on James, albeit with a ponderous tenacity that left him to slowly resolve the world on his own. At first, all he was aware of was the fact that he was lying down, and that he had a pressure in his groin. The latter was what pushed his mind beyond the half-sleep that he would usually dawdle in, and he flipped his eyes open to take in the room around him. Then, of course, he was promptly confused as he didn't recognize the place at all.

Sweet Jesus, where the Hell am I? The male fox asked himself as he sat upright on the couch, pausing only to swish his tail around so that he wouldn't end up sitting on it. Man, what happened? James thought as he looked around, seeing bookshelves and an entertainment center along the walls of the room, while the couch he sat on, a recline, and a coffee table made up the rest of the furnishings in view.

Disturbed, and feeling a dull ache begin at the back of his head, James reached back to rub the source, but then yelped when he touched the bruised spot. The pain, however, was what his mind needed to break through the morning haze, and the events of the previous night poured through his brain. What the- I did that_?_ He asked of his memories in confusion. However,, the events only became clearer, and he shook his head slowly. Man... I must be nuts! Taking on three guys, coming to sleep in this lady's apartment...

Two thoughts interposed themselves on his mind then. The first was a frantic evaluation of what little James knew about the woman he had helped. Unfortunately, it wasn't much, and the fox closed his eyes and tried to listen for any footsteps, or a muttering in a telephone receiver, or any other indication that the woman had reneged on an agreement that could have been made whilst she was inebriated.

The second thought that forced itself upon James' consciousness waited until he realized he could hear no alarm and relaxed, and then rammed home with nearly physical force. Oh shit, I really need to piss! The pressure in his bladder had reached painful proportions, and James shot up on his digitigrade footpaws to look frantically for the bathroom. Please please please let it be separate from the bedroom, the fox thought as he moved quickly around the couch and headed for the mini-hallway that was directly opposite of the kitchen. There, James saw that his prayers were answered, as the bathroom door was open, showing that the small, but amply-sized room was indeed separate of the two bedrooms that also branched off of the mini-hall.

Shit, a roommate? A boyfriend, even , that wants to beat the shit outta me? James thought in a near panic as he saw the second bedroom door. However, the thought vaporized as he turned and fairly ran into the bathroom. WorrylaterneedtogoorI'llpissmyself!

* * * *

A few minutes later, James dried off his hands, having washed them properly after relieving himself. I just hope this towel isn't something she uses on her face or - God forbid - her privates, the fox mused darkly as he turned out the bathroom light and then exited the water closet. Last thing I need to do is give her a disease, or get one myself.

Stepping into the mini-hallway, James paused as he realized that the right-hand bedroom door was open, the view inside showing an empty bed with the covers as yet unmade. Icy fingers of panic rolled up the shy man's spine, and he whirled around to look for whomever had come out, hoping that it wasn't someone twice his size.

Fortunately for his nerves and blood pressure, the only person James saw was the same vixen whom he had helped last night, who was moving around in the kitchen area. He blushed a bit as he realized that the woman had only thrown on a bathrobe that, despite covering her from neck to ankle, nevertheless was wrapped tight enough to show off the curves of her body, as well as the tail that bulged the back out a bit, as there was no hole for it.

Oh, shit, what do I do? James thought frantically, as he had no idea how to go about taking to the woman, or even if he should do anything but say goodbye and leave. But I can't do that, it'd be rude... But how do you say, 'oh, thanks for lettming me use your couch nice lady who I don't even know'?

While he was deliberating, the issue was settled, as the vixen turned around and started a bit as she saw James standing across the living room. "Oh, goodness, you startled me," she said, somewhat cheerily and smiling a bit. She winced slightly with the expression, however, and James realized that the left side of her muzzle was a bit swollen from where she had been hit the previous night. He felt a surge of anger at the observance, but it evaporated as the woman continued to speak. "I started making coffee, do you want any?"

"Uhm," James replied, highly unarticulated. He then shook his head and then took a few cautious steps into the living room, angling for the apartment's main door. "That is, uh... I don't want to bother you any more," he said as he moved slowly towards where his anxiety and fear propelled him. "Besides, I'm sure you have better things to do than make coffee for bums like me."

The lady, during this time, had grabbed a pair of coffee cups and had moved towards the dinner table that had been set up in the space between the back of the couch and the rear wall of the living room. Upon hearing his words, however, she paused and stood for a moment. "Oh," she said, all cheerfulness gone, replaced instead with a brittle tone. "I see," she said quietly, and then sat down at one of the four, small chairs that were tightly packed around the table.

James halted in his steps as he heard the change in her voice, and it ate at him in a way he seldom felt. Oh, God, what did I do? He asked himself as he stood there, torn between the urge to leave and the fear that he had hurt someone. "Well, even if you did have time, or anything," he began again. "I'm sure whoever's in the other bedroom will probably appreciate that coffee more than me."

"She's on a trip, visiting her parents," the vixen replied, her voice a bit stronger now, but still having a disappointed undertone. She then looked up and gave James a little shrug. "I wouldn't have minded the company, but if you have to get going, I'll understand."

Her tone was too much, and James found himself moving towards the chair that sat opposite of the seated woman. "I... Really don't have to go," he said, haltingly, and stood behind the chair, resting his hands on the backrest. "Like I said last night, I don't want to impose, especially not on a nice woman such as yourself."

The vixen shook her head at that, her ears folding back against her skull, but her face showing that it was more out of sadness than anger. "No, that's all right," she said, quietly, and then looked down at the table, where she rested her hands. "I can understand. No one wants to be around someone like me. Someone Changed." Her voice dropped at the last, and she sighed.

James, for his part, blinked in surprise. "Uhm, hello?" He asked, and walked around the table to stand near where the woman sat. Then he kneeled down and put a hand on her shoulder. "If you hadn't noticed, I'm not exactly wearing a fur costume, here."

"But who wants to be around a living example of what's happened to us?" The vixen asked, and then looked James in the face, letting him see the tears that threatened to pour from her eyes. "You can avoid a mirror, even turn it around so you can't see into it. But you can't turn a person around and make him go away." She glanced down then, and James could feel, though his hand, the silent sob that wracked her body then. "It must be awful to be around me."

"It's not," James countered, feeling his tone become empassioned, and he squeezed the lady's shoulder just a bit. "I can't speak for everyone, but I don't mind what's happened to me. As for you... Why did you invite me up here, to spend the night, if you felt this way?" He asked, a bit perplexed. "After all, if you think that others view you that way, that must mean you see others the same. If I disgust you, then why even talk to me?"

"You mean, aside from the fact that you were so wonderful at saving me?" She asked, making a slight amused sound, but not looking up. "I guess... I guess I wanted some company," she said, voice dropping down to a near-whisper, though James' large ears picked it up well enough. "As bad as I feel, being what I am, the normal people... Except for my parents and my roommate, they all look at me with fear and revulsion, like I'm some sort of walking plague, or an ugly animal.

"So, after you helped me, I thought that you'd be someone I could talk to, maybe," she continued, and then brough up a furred hand to wipe at her eyes. "I thought, maybe, that I might be able to find another person like me that wouldn't want to go off as soon as they could." She sighed then, and shook her head, though she kept her gaze on the floor. "That was selfish of me, I see that now. You think you've been imposing on my, but I'm the one who's been imposing on you, expecting you to conform to some little-girl desire of mine." The vixen puased then, and she drew both arms around her middle. "I'm so sorry... Please, don't stay on my account. I've been so horrible..." She snorted at that, and then shook her head again. "Ugly on the inside as well as on the outside."

James couldn't take it anymore; hearing the poor woman pour her heart out, hearing in her the same the same anguish and anxiety that a Changed relative of his had confided to him months ago. Not everyone wants this, he reminded himself, and he reached down with his free, left hand, and lightly cupped the tip of her muzzle. Then, he gently pulled up, bringing the woman's gaze to meet his own. "You are not ugly," he said quietly, staring into her eyes as he spoke, and then very lightly rubbed the pad of his finger along the swollen, bruised skin on the left side of her face, careful to avoid touching it with his claw. "I could go on, saying all sorts of things, trying to couch my words in some sort of psychological gobbldygook, but I won't. I won't because the truth itself is more than enough." He fell silent then, and slowly shifted and reached out to draw the woman into a hug, his arms wrapping around her nonresisting shoulders, and he turned his head so that he could whisper into her ear. "And the truth is, you are the most beautiful person I've ever seen."

Silence fell for a moment, but it soon evaporated as the vixen leaned into his chest, and laid her head down on his shoulder, where she started to sob lightly. James held her like this for around ten minutes. When she started to grow quiet, he shifted his right hand up and reached up to lightly scratch behind her ears in a manner that he knew from firsthand experience to have a soothing effect.

The movement had the desired effect, and her sobs faded out, to be replaced with soft murrs. "Oh, wow," the vixen murmured, softly. "How... How are you doing that?"

James chuckled lightly, glad that she was starting to get past her breakdown. "I know because I didn't turn away from what I am," he began, leaning back to speak softly into her left ear, while still scritching and rubbing behind both of her dish-like ears. "Mind you, I'm not blaming you, or anyone else who was Changed such behavior. Not everyone who was Changed wanted it, or could adapt to it right away.

"Myself, well, I'm sure you've heard of the kind of fandom that was popularized after the Change?" He asked quietly, getting a brief nod from the vixen. "You're a furry," she said, stating it as fact.

"A furry fan," James corrected, politely. "The term 'furry' is a loose one, but in my mind, it's always referred to actual anthropomorphs. Which, we both are, by the way," he added in a wry tone. "But I'll admit, the idea of being one... It had an appeal to me for years. I mean, imagine, all the wonderful gifts of animals, with the greatest gift of all; human intelligence. The idea was and still is intoxicating."

"What gifts?" She asked, bitterly, and drew back to look James in the face. "I've been given nothing but ridicule and all sorts of weird, strange urges that I can't explain."

James let his grip loosen on the woman, and he drew back his left arm, while his right rested on her shoulder again. "Well, how about the gift of your health, for one?" He asked, smiling faintly, causing the vixen to blush. "We all know the one key that connects all of the Changed; every one of us had some chronic disease or another, from macular degeneration to cancer or AIDS, and all of us were cured. You can't tell me that isn't a gift?"

She looked close to crying again, but she kept herself together, instead closing her eyes and leaning back forward a bit. James took this as his cue to wrap her in another, soft hug, and she spoke up again. "It is... It really is," she whispered, nuzzling her muzzle into James' neck fur where his shirt collar ended. "But... I get so scared, at times, when I feel an urge to do something... Strange."

"Like what?" James asked, though he already knew the answer, and the vixen didn't disappoint. "Like, I feel like going outside all the time, just to run... And run around on my hands, as well, like I was a dog, or something." She sighed then, and shook her head a bit on his shoulder. "And then there's the temptation, constantly, to just... Smell everything." She blushed then, and James chuckled as he felt the heat of her cheeks warm his neck. "Anything else?" He asked.

"Yes," she replied, quietly. "I have dreams at night... Strange dreams, of all kinds, where I'm a fox - and actual, regular, four-legged fox - and I'm doing things, like chasing rabbits, or digging a hole, or-" She broke off then, and James could feel the blush on her cheeks become feverishly hot. "Or doing other things," she added.

"I have a good guess as to what those 'other things' are," James replied casually, trying to not think of the specific imagery. "I know because I had them too. And I kept on having them until I learned to accept what had happened to me, to accept my new body... Basically, to accept myself, as Changed," he said, squeezing his grip around the vixen's shoulders a bit more tightly for a split second. Thank God she's leaning forward, instead of being upright and having her tits squished between us; already they're brushing against my chest, he thought, briefly becoming distracted before he released the vixen and leaned back, prompting her to mirror him. "Now, I don't want to be preachy," he began again, slowly. "But I have a good feeling that if you would want to do the same, then you'd feel a lot better. At the very least, you'd stop feeling terrible about what you are, and at least learn to live with it.."

She bit her lower lip - or rather, the part at the front end of her muzzle, which like on all the Changed moved more like a human lip, allowing for speech. Then she sighed and glanced downward again. "I... I suppose so..." She said, and then sniffled briefly. "But I don't know how to do that, to just... Accept."

James decided to take a risk then, and he leaned forward to bring his muzzle towards the vixen's face. Then he opened his mouth and licked his tongue along the side of her muzzle; something he had been yearning to do for a long time now. She shuddered under his touch, and then looked up at him, eyes wide not in fright, nor disgust, but in awe. "That..." She started to speak, but then halted as her breath caught. "That was... Beautiful," she finally said, after having to take a moment to think of the right word.

James just smiled, and he brought up a hand to scritch her ears again. "It's just the tip of the iceberg," he said, gently. Then he stood up, partially to let his legs stretch from the aching position he had been in, partially to put some physical distance between the two, so that his next words wouldn't sound forboding nor imposing. "If you want, and if you trust me, I'll show you what I've done to get my life in order, and what I've learned about what people like us can do."

She sat there for a moment, thinking. Then, with a sigh that raised her chest up and down in a manner that James found distracting, she stood up and gave him a faint smile. "Ever since we've met, you've done nothing but help. I can't help but to trust you," she said, and then moved to wrap James in a hug that he returned. Then she giggled slightly. "I trust you, and yet I don't even know your name."

James chuckled heartily at that, and he nuzzled the tuft of fur extending from her cheek. "I'm James... James Callahan," he said, softly.

"Melissa Fielding," she replied, murring slightly as James reached up to scritch her ears again.

"Well Melissa," James continued. "This is your last chance to change your mind, then, because I have a feeling that once we start..."

"That we won't be able to stop," Melissa said, finishing the sentence and then shuddering. "I realize what that might mean... But I trust you, and for the first time in months, I trust myself to make the right decisions," she added, sighing.

James took in a deep breath, and then let it out through his nose. "All right," he said, warmly. "Let's go."