Let The Wind Blow--Chapter 4

Story by Shawna McCartney on SoFurry

, , , , , , ,

#4 of Let The Wind Blow

Reaching towards the end of Lauren and Mack's story! Enjoy and thank you all for reading ^^


Lauren had turned off her phone.

She spent the rest of the day completing her schoolwork, hoping to keep her mind occupied. She hid in the back of the library, surrounded by the dusty ledgers and encyclopedias of past decades, away from the chatter of the surrounding world and anyone that would breathe to her face.

The bus ride back to her dorm was devoid of other passengers. Half the school had already piled out for the big trip; the others would be leaving in the morning, while anyone else would probably be heading home.

The feline held her phone and pawed at it. The temptation itched at her to turn it back it on. Her parents usually left her alone unless she really needed them; and the school only called to alert her of emergency weather changes.

The only other person who bothered to call or text her was Mack. And she was sure now that Mack wouldn't want to talk to her ever again, not after how she'd acted a few hours ago.

Lauren stared out at the landscape whistling past her. She caught a glimpse of her own reflection in the glass, seeing the weariness creep over her eyes. She'd done a good job not turning her thoughts towards Mack after she'd left the cafeteria. She assumed that Mack and Gary probably sat there a little while longer; Gary being such a gentleman probably walked her to her next class. And they likely went out to dinner. She imagined him rubbing her shoulders as the mouse cried, probably cursing Lauren's name for upsetting her. And she imagined him running his hands through her hair, seducing her to his whims.

She opened her eyes wide, not wanting to give in to the image of them in a pose of furious passion. She wasn't ready to accept that. Closing her eyes, she knew her mind would jump to every conclusion in the book, and it stabbed at her heart to even make the assumption.

She was sure she had obliterated their friendship in a total of thirty seconds.

Thirty? Try three.

The knowledge made her stomach lurch as her ears parted to the side of her head. The encroaching void of the outside world spilled into her, and she wondered if there was anyone else who'd ever felt as alone as she did at that moment.

She fidgeted with her phone again.

I don't know what to expect if I turn it on now, she whispered in her mind.

Would it be a condemnation from Mack?

Her heart ached at that thought.

Or would it be a desire to meet with her at her dorm?

That would be the preferred fantasy.

Lauren sighed, and stuffed her phone down deep into her jacket. She preferred the mystery that not knowing provided her.

When she reached her dorm she wished she knew someone to take her to the nearest liquor store. Lauren didn't always crave alcohol, but at this moment drinking herself into oblivion sounded like the best idea since sliced bread. On those nights she'd joined Mack, she'd seen many students from campus bombed and blitzkrieged out of their minds with whatever colorless concoctions their glasses held. Mack herself was a lightweight; Lauren grinned thinking back to many nights she'd cradled the mouse back to her dorm, and staying with her until the first waves of nausea swept over Mack.

She was sure those nights were over now.

Her dorm felt darker than usual, and emptier. There was nothing comforting about the atmosphere, as she rustled up the stairway towards her room. She wished for some sign of life to make itself known, even wishing for the scuttling of a cockroach. But only silence and the never ending darkness awaited her.

Near where the stairs broke away into a hallway, and led to the third floor was a gleam light, shining as though it were a lighthouse signal. The cat's ears perked, and she heard the scurry of feet across the floor. Ascending closer, she saw that the light was coming from where her room was located.

Her spine stiffened as she got closer, and she readied her claws. Her tail twitched behind her as she carefully slowed her walk. Then she sniffed the air, and recognized the stranger. Her jumped a little bit, out of excitement and nervousness, not sure what she would expect when she reached her door.

Mack was leaning against the wall outside of the cat's room. She shone the light on Lauren first then in front of her face.

"Jeezum Crikes!" Lauren shouted.

"Sorry," Mack said, putting the flashlight on diffuse. "I didn't want you clawing my face off. I'm kinda used to it you know."

"If I didn't recognize who you were I might've," Lauren said rubbing her eyes. She slowly focused and she saw the mouse. She was wearing stained overalls, with the suspender broken off the left shoulder. Her rainbow striped t-shirt hugged tight to her torso underneath. Lauren remembered the shirt well; she'd helped Mack pick it out in the early months of their friendship. Her hair was pulled back again, which Lauren took to mean her and Gary had not gone out after all. She felt a small sense of triumph at that fact, even if she did not register it on her face.

There was silence between the women as the stood there. Lauren's heart continued thudding fast and hard inside her chest, threatening to gallop out through her mouth. She could sense the same tension from Mack, as the mouse cut her eyes away and would look back again at Lauren.

Finally, Lauren said, "Did you...want something?" She paused as she struggled to find the words to her next question. "I thought...you'd be going out with Gary..."

Mack shrugged. "Gary had practice tonight. So I wanted to break tradition and come over here." She pulled out a DVD from her bag. It was The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the original Tobe Hooper directed film.

Lauren smirked. "I didn't think you even knew what a DVD was." This light joke caused a small chuckle that broke the tense air between the two.

"There's a lot you don't know about me," she said smiling, taking the movie back. "Aren't you going to let me in so we can watch it?"

Lauren hesitated for a few seconds, letting Mack's words sink in. This is what she had wanted as part of her fantasies, to meet with Mack and they would talk about things. But she knew Mack didn't like it when she talked during movies, so there was some strategy to Mack being there that night.

There was a lot she wanted to say before letting her come inside. A lot more that needed to be said. But she bit her tongue on each thought. She looked up at Mack and did not see the impatience that had colored her earlier, but the calm and collected mouse she had known for years standing in front of her.

What the hell, Lauren sighed. She whipped her keys out and opened her tiny dorm room to Mack. "Its kind of a mess," Lauren said sheepishly. "I haven't cleaned."

Mack didn't care, ignoring Lauren's protest. She threw her bag to the ground by Lauren's door and made a beeline towards the cat's PS4. As she bent down, Lauren's eyes looked down at the way Mack's overalls curved and hugged her backside. Her thin tail swished to and fro as Lauren watched Mack prep the disc in the machine. Satisfied, Mack walked over to Lauren's bed and sat down next to her, handing her the controller.

"You know how to work that better than I do," Mack said, grinning. Lauren shook her head at Mack's troglodyte nature and fired up the menu, playing the movie's opening narration that had fooled many generations past and present.

#

Nothing changed, as Mack jumped every time Leatherface charged his chainsaw and chased after Sally Hardesty through every leap and bound of the movie. And as usual, Mack would scream and jump into Lauren, hugging her tight for safety. It was as though the maniac would jump out of the screen to chop them up and her life depended on the warmth and comfort that the cat provided.

Lauren couldn't wrap her mind around what was happening and felt her head spin each time Mack hugged her waist. The cat would look down at the mouse, and see the smile as she screeched at each part, pulling herself closer to Lauren's body. The confusion was giving her a headache.

She pawed at the edge of her bed, her claws retracting and detracting. Why isn't she yelling my head off for kissing her? I mean...I'd be mad if it were me!

She sucked in Mack's scent as it drifted from her headfur, noticing the lack of the perfume she'd worn earlier that day. As well as the lack of Gary on her fur. But it did not remove the tension she still felt in her bones, and she wished she could get some answers.

Finally, the movie's climax started. Sally jumped out of the window of the Leatherface family's home, her body dragging her broken leg towards a nearby highway. The masked maniac chased her down as his chainsaw sang its song of bloody terror.

Mack sucked in her breath; onscreen she saw Sally make her run for it. She leaned forward on the edge of the bed, her eyes glued intently on the heroine's flight. At the moment when it looked like Leatherface would tear Sally in half, the heroine jumped and so did Mack, her hand shooting outwards and gripping Lauren's thigh. This startled the cat, whose coiled spine leaped in her body, causing her to jump slightly out of her seat. Mack's ears turned a deep scarlet as she blushed, and folded her knees to her chest, casting an embarrassed glance towards Lauren.

"Sorry," she said in a low voice.

As the credits rolled Lauren turned the movie off. More silence, the only sounds being the ticks between seconds of Lauren's alarm clock. She looked back at Mack, catching little side glances the mouse would make. She'd grabbed Lauren's pillow and held it close to her body.

Breaking the silence, Lauren spoke. "We got some time for a chaser of Rifftrax or another movie. Or," she looked at Mack, seeing if she could catch the mouse's eye. "Or we could go to bed." She looked around. "I mean, its not as cozy as your room, but I think we can fit in mine. I might have an extra sheet or something. Fair warning--I'm a blanket hog."

"You know...that's the first time I've ever seen that movie," Mack said softly.

Lauren glanced up towards Mack. She smiled, happy to have some form of speech uttered between them. "Really? I thought you'd seen them all."

Mack shook her head. "Nope. I've never gotten past the first hour. The first one was always terrifying to me. Because it seemed so..."

"Viseral?"

"So real." Mack sighed, letting her words hang in the atmosphere as she scooted herself closer to Lauren. "When I was little, I used to believe this movie actually happened. My pops, he used to tell me stories that they never caught Leatherface, they made this movie about him to warn people that he was still out there. And I believed every word of it. That is, until I was old enough to figure out he was lying to me." She turned and looked at Lauren, and gazed into her eyes. "The truth didn't hurt. It was the lie that did. And that he kept at it longer than he should have bothered me for a long time."

"Why are you telling me this?" Lauren asked. She looked away, as tears began to well in her eyes. She choked them back down, forcing them back into her emotions. "I mean, is there a point you're trying to make?"

Mack smiled. "I'm a writer, I'm supposed to make long-winded expositions," she said. "I have to take a minute before I get to the main point of the plot."

Lauren looked at Mack's direction and saw her body language shift as she leaned closer into Lauren's space. The cat's fur stood on end, passionate static radiating from each of her pores beneath.

"I'm just saying, I learned from an early age that the truth is always hard for people to admit to. I probably..." she stopped, hesitating for a second. She breathed, and continued. "I probably am more naive than I should be. But I've always felt, people don't need to always hide things."

The mouse gazed silently into Lauren's green eyes.

"I thought about what happened today. Between us," Mack continued. She sat up and looked away at the edge of the bed. "What I want, is to know the truth. Lauren, are you...attracted to me?" She was looking at Lauren now, staring deep inside the cat as she played with the button of her overalls.

"Is that another exposition?" Lauren asked. Her tone was coy, as she reached a paw out towards Mack's thigh, letting it come to rest. She felt the curves and muscles beneath her padding, feeling the shapes and muscles as Mack stiffened and flexed and shifted.

"Preposition now, with a noun as the cherry on top." She looked down at Lauren's paw circling her thigh, the cat's claw teasing at a little patch of fur that had escaped through a hotel in her overalls.

Lauren trembled and shuddered for a moment, each sensation of her paw's course rippling through her body. She closed her eyes, letting a soft moan loose from her lips.

"Please. Just tell me the truth," Mack repeated.

Lauren was silent for a moment. "You deserve that privilege," she said in a low voice. She ran her thumb along the surface of Mack's paw. "But not that burden." Her tail swayed back and forth beneath her against the bed.

"And why do you say that?"

"Because I don't know for sure about any of this yet." She looked at Mack. Tears formed at the edges of her eyes. She wiped them away with her paw. "I don't know. I just wish...there was an easy way of figuring everything out."

"So you don't know?"

Lauren shook her head. "I don't know if I'm gay, straight, or a martian!" she shouted. "I've been freaking out in my head trying to figure it all out. And nothing's getting any damn easier!" She gazed at Mack. "Why did you come here tonight anyway? Just to hear me melt down? Is that what you wanted? Congratu-fucking-lations, you got it!" She began to sob, and buried her face in her paws. Mack wrapped her arm around the cat and held her shoulders, and felt her tremble with each sob.

"You know me better than that," Mack said in a soft, comforting voice. "At least, I thought you did." She held her friend against her chest, feeling the cat's tears fall into the fluff of her fur, soaking her.

"I DO!" Lauren shouted, looking up into Mack's eyes.

"Then why don't you trust me?" Mack asked. "Better question--why didn't you trust me?" She looked down at Lauren, and wiped her tear streaked face. "Why didn't you say 'Hey Mack, I got something I gotta tell you...'?" She made her voice a higher pitch, imitating Lauren.

The cat sniffed and laughed a little bit. She wiped her nose on her sleeve. "It's not that easy," she said. "Not like...there's a handbook or anything." Her eyes traveled upwards to the mouse and locked in place. "Mack, when I met you--actually, when I got to know you--you were everything I wanted to be. Smart, confident...you didn't think every bad t hing that happened to you was a conspiracy."

"I still say it's not the CIA who are out to get you," Mack said, smiling.

Lauren grinned and continued. "But lately...it just feels like things are changing. And I don't know if its for better or worse."

"What do you mean?

Lauren sighed. "You know how close we are to graduating right?"

"Sure. What's that got to do with everything?"

Lauren felt herself shaking, and wished Mack would reach out and hold her again. "Mack, I'm scared. I don't know what I want to do with my life." She looked in Mack's direction. "I don't want to wake up and realize you're not going to be there and tell me I'm being silly and hyper crazy, like you're doing right now."

The mouse chuckled in her chest and began stroking Lauren's head.

"You've been worse," Mack replied. "Much worse than now."

"Yeah, but this is different." She gazed up towards Mack. "I want this. What's happening with us right now." Lauren sighed. "I really, truly do."

She sat up, out of Mack's arms, her ears folded back behind her head. She began stroking her tail. "I want you with me. More than you'll ever know. And it bothers me that what I want...I can't have."

Mack's ears blushed a deep pink, as she folded her legs along the edge of the bed.

"I am attracted to you Christine," Lauren finished. "And have been for a very, very long time."

"Wow," Mack said. She turned away from Lauren, letting her mind process the information. Lauren leaned forward, and traced the curves her spine with her paw.

"Is that all I get you to say? Just 'Wow'?"

Mack turned back to look at Lauren. "Well, on two fronts. First, you haven't called me by my real name in years," she said smiling. "The second is why was that so hard to tell me that. Were you afraid?"

"That you'd reject me? Yes," Lauren admitted. "I don't even know what I'm feeling inside Mack." She put her paws to her head and stared at the carpet. "I don't know how I'm feeling or what I'm feeling. I just know that I am feeling something and that feeling..." She paused, letting the words drift into space. "Its never been for anybody else."

"Not even Peter," Mack stated.

"He deserved that privilege, but he got my burden instead," Lauren repeated. "He deserved better than what he got, and I'm always sorry that it was with me."

Mack put her arm around Lauren's shoulder. "That's not your fault with what happened with Peter. Its not like you stared into a crystal ball and, like...instantly knew you felt nothing."

The cat stood, and folded her arms across her chest, her tail swaying behind her. "These feelings I have, they've been for you Mack. I...I realize that now. They've always been." She turned back towards Mack. She was smiling, a sense of relief washing over face like cool rejuvenating waters..

"Do you feel better telling me all that now?" Mack asked. Lauren breathed a sigh of relief.

"A little," Lauren said. She walked back towards the bed, standing in front of the mouse. "But now I'm terrified of what's going to happen next."

"What do you mean?"

Lauren shrugged and sat back down next to Mack. "To you. To me. Us." She bit her lower lip and gazed down at her feet. "I know you're not gay Mack. At least, I don't think you are. And I don't know if I am or not. But I don't want tonight to be the last night we spend as friends and go on from here as total strangers til we graduate and never see each other again." She paused and took a breath.

"I just don't want to kill what we got, you know." Mack smiled. "You can't kill what we got." She grabbed Lauren in her arms, resting the cat's head on her chest. She eased both of them back onto the bed. "You know, I'll always be what you need me to be Lauren. Haven't you figured that out by now?"

Lauren felt herself tearing up again. She wrapped herself deeper into Mack's arms, feeling the warmth of the mouse's embrace envelope her. She linked her paws with Mack's and squeezed them.

"I love you Mack. And its taken this long to figure that out."

Mack wiped away Lauren's from where whiskers, feeling the pearls drop and fall away from her paws. She caressed Lauren's cheeks, as the cat rubbed her face into her gentle touch. A purr rumbled from her chest, as her tailed swayed off the edge of the bed.

"I know...I can't be what you want me to be," Mack said as she stroked Lauren's head.

"I know that," Lauren sighed.

"But...that doesn't mean...I can't always be what you need me to be. Who you need me to be."

Lauren gazed up and looked at Mack, as the mouse looked down on her.

"I'll always be there for you Lauren," she continued, stroking her cheeks and feeling the ticklish prickles of Lauren's whiskers between her digits. "Our friendship...it goes deeper than any label, you know?" She leaned forward and kissed Lauren's forehead. "We might not be able to have the relationship you want. But you know what?"

"What?"

"I'll always be your friend, I'll always be there for you, and I'll always be your girl."

Lauren felt herself beginning to cry again as she wound her paw tight to Mack's.

"I don't think I could ask for anything more," she said, wiping away at a tear as it drifted at her eyes. The cat smiled and nuzzled into Mack's chest. She felt sleep starting to come upon her as she yawned. Mack rested her head on top of Lauren's headfur, her own eyes growing heavy as the evening grew old. Lauren reached a paw up towards Mack's, and touched her face, her fingers tracing around the mouse's glasses and muzzle.

"Hey. Mack?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay here tonight? With me?"

"I'm not opening my lids to see, but I'm assuming you're giving me your big kitty eyes aren't you?"

Lauren smiled. "You know it."

"Figured."

Mack pulled Lauren closer to her chest and settled herself into bed. Her eyes cut for a moment towards her phone as it lit to life, sticking out from her bag by the door. Someone was calling, probably Gary. She smiled, happy in the knowledge she'd muted it so it would go straight to voicemail if anyone called. And that included Gary, knowing he could wait if he wanted to talk to her.

She felt Lauren begin to sleep, low purrs drifting from her friend as she pulled Lauren's blanket from underneath and draped it over the cat and herself.

Lauren raised her eyes for a moment. She scanned the room, gazing up at Mack. She saw the mouse's sleeping self still entwined with her, making sure the mouse had kept her promise. She smiled.

"Goodnight," she whispered as she closed her eyes again, content and happy in the moment.

#